Let's be "Mommie Dearest"

I'm the scouring powder that's ass raped by Christina.

I am not one of your fans!

I'm the dirt, and once again she's mad at me and not Helga.

I'm the almost raw steak that finally, and mercifully, gets thrown in the garbage after Christina sits at the table for 10 hours because raw steak has more vitamins than cooked steak!

I’m Greg’s socks, who get handled by Joan. Usually 3-4 times a week cuz the bitch is a fucking sex addict with a snatch of a rejuvenated 15 year old.

I'm under-reacting.

I'm that bitch of a bearing wall where a window ought to be!

I’m the boys AND the booze!

I'm the bracelet given to Christina from Uncle Greg.

I'm the ironic ad for delicious Pepsi Cola

I'm the camp value and watch-ability. I fully exist on first viewing, even on second viewing, then I start to erode quickly.

I'm the rodeo!

I’m all the heads of ex “uncles” cut out of photos that Mommie made disappear because she didn’t like them anymore.

I’m the girl who catches Christina rolling around in the hay with a boy in the stable and declares, I’M GONNA TELL!!!!

I am the wire hanger.

I'm the morning facial routine with hot and cold phases (including ice cubes) and some real hard scrubbing.

I'm the over the top birthday party for Christina - the type which continues today for the children of some celebs.

I’m DAMN MAD!

I'm all the Christmas presents the kids don't get to keep.

I'm Christina's sudden Southern accent.

I’m Christina’s baby dolls that disappear.

They were thoughtless, selfish, spoiled children.

I'm the board that drove Alfred Steele to an early grave.

I’m the sleep-safe Christopher wore at night until he was 12.

I'm incredibly severe eyebrows.

I'm the stunt doubles in the Joan vs Christina battle royale.

I’m the no doubt expensive lotion.

I'm the sleepaway school Christina went to!

I'm Christina's likeability - I don't exist even though Christina is clearly the victim and deserves sympathy.

I'm the cunt OP who is a CUNT.

I’m Anne Bancroft and I dodged a bullet.

I'm Joan's other adopted children, who weren't even in the movie because Christina made it all about HER!

[quote] I'm the cunt OP who is a CUNT. —The ORIGINAL OP

Well you fucked up the title of your original thread. You got what you deserved.

I'm Carol Ann's night-time duty - scissor action with Joan

I'm Faye Dunamway looking nothing like Joan Crawford.

I’m Christina’s twenty-something housewife character on a TV soap opera—temporarily been played by her 60 year-old mother, Miss Joan Crawford.

Get well soon, dear!

I'm Hollywood Royalty.

I'm the surprisingly hot guy that Joan showers with who is probably hung like a mule.

[quote]I'm Faye Dunamway looking nothing like Joan Crawford.

Perhaps not, but Fay Dunaway did.

I’m the sudden, miraculous recover Joan made from pneumonia when her name is announced as the winner of the Best Actress Oscar. I’m also the four years she started taking off her age when the press releases went out the next day.

[quote] Fay Dunaway

Who?

I'm the source of Mommy Dearest's inner rage. I'm not completely explained.

M O M M I E!

I’m that BITCH of a bearing wall.

I am the rosebushes.

I am the AXE!

R44, are you also R7?

I'm Joan Crawfords cancelled MGM contract.

I'm Helga the maid, rolling my eyes all the way back as Mommy Dearest has another meltdown. I'm afraid of her but I need the job. I talk a lot of shit about her behind her back.

I'm Joan crawfords brand new signed Warner bros contract.

I'm the deep dark navy blue actreesey night gown Crawford has her night rages in.

I’m part of the best line in the movie.

It’s also my motto on here today.

I'm the abundance of $$$ in the bank Joan doesn't want Christina to know she has which paid for all of those shoes delivered to the house this afternoon, that Christina saw after she found her mother drunk in her walk in closet this evening.

I'm the Perino's menu on 24" x36" oak tag.

No studio...no contract...no money.

I'm the grass stain that might read. And Joan's icy glare to the photographer when he says it.

I'm a reporter. A REPORTER!

I'm Barbara Bennett from Redbook magazine.

I’m the huge oriental vase that Helga forgot to move, hiding the evil dirt. Joan was wise to me.

I am Mamacita.

I’m staying home tonight.

This Is my first time at the rodeo.

I'm the scarlet lipstick on Mommie's angry lips. I adore the attention and I'm front and center of EVERY scene!

I’m the grand Art Deco-style staircase.

I'm aging. And, like Mommie Dearest, I'm a bitch.

I'm the BOX OFFICE POISON

I'm Mara Hobel, I survived working with Faye Dunaway AND Roseanne Barr.

If I decide to write a tell-all, they are both fucked.

I'm the reduced circumstances living in New York as opposed to Los Angeles.

Christina: I’M NOT ONE OF YOUR FANS!!!!!!

Joan: AHHHHH *Attacks her with lamp*

I’m THE MOST EXPENSIVE HOUSE IN BRENTWOOD!!

I’m the bloody two day old meat that Tina just won’t eat.

R71, is R4 your twin?

R72 I’m the meat after two days. R3 is the meat after ten hours. I am full of bacteria by now.

F67 I'm the 100 pounds Mara Hobel gained after the trauma of doing the movie.

R67 I'm the 100 pounds Mara Hobel gained after the trauma of doing the movie.

I am the matching Mother-Daughter outfits.

I’m Christopher, Dammit.

I am the straw in the soda pop Christina drinks meekly.

I'm the tooting car horns outside on Oscar night because "Joan they're so happy for you!"..

Incidentally, Joan hates this night as it turns every year into a crisis!

R47 No! I know how to spell ought...

I"m Christina's Christmas cards. I'll get out on time, all right?

I'm sweet Christopher's bedtime harness.

I'm Debra Winger telling Faye Dunaway her performance in Mommie Dearest is like Kabuki theatre.

We think that's a compliment but this is Debra Winger who may be almost as crazy as Faye herself.

I'm Faye Dunaway's embarrassment whenever this movie is brought up.

I'm the old lady hair-do on Christina in the movie, and even I'M wondering WTF is up with this bull shit?!!

CUNTS!!!!!!! HOW VERY DARE YOU! NASTY LITTLE HOMOSEXUAL BOYS! I AM FAYE DUNAWAY! THAT'S MISS DUNAWAY TO YOU! it is a vicious rumor that I am anything like Joan Crawford, i have been type cast for almost 40 years now. I am merely a sensitive artiste trying to ply her trade, Joan Crawford was the monster, not me. YOU FUCKIN GODDAMN LITTLE HOMOSEXUAL BOYS, I AM A LEGEND!

I'm NOT one of your fans!

I’m Uncle Gregg.

I’m the most boring, unmemorable character in this over-the-top film.

I'm one of the numerous cigarettes smoked in the film.

I'm the vodka meant for Joan's morning skincare routine. I'm much more often poured down that dirty tart's throat!

I'm the triple-nozzle shower.

I'm nothing but a rotten, crooked lawyer... supplying the grease that makes this shitty movie business work.

I’m Louis B Mayer, who just doesn’t understand the price Joan pays.

I’m the final award Christina picks up right before Joan kicks the bucket.

Omg that totally looks like the little sister of Diane Keaton's horrible Godfather 1 wig! 😂 R85

I' m the Christmas Card list. I have not fucking clue who any of these people are.

R88, you don't think his shower entrance is memorable?

I'm Rutanya Alda, still making a living off my small role as Carol Ann in a movie that was made almost 40 years ago.

I'm Gregg's 12.5 x 8.5.

If I'd been seen on screen, it might have perked up the proceedings.

I'm the Ice Follies of 1939, the piece of crap Mommie was filming at the start of the movie.

I'm the career, home AND fam-i-lee!!

Wow. That is one severe-looking Ice Follies gal at R100.

Looks like a Soviet Assassin on Ice R100

I'm Groucho Marx and I'm wondering why Dunaway looks more like me than Joan in so many scenes.

I’m the stunning pearl necklace from Al Steele that Joan gives to Christina with the requirement that she not “hock them”. I’m also the 24hrs it took Al Steele to shoot enough loads on Joan’s neck to make the other pearl necklace he gave her.

[quote] Ricky’s face washing routine

what the fuck is THAT?

I'm the jewels sparkling on Joan's hands and wrists and chest as she tells Christina how poor they are.

I’m the MGM tattoo.

I sure did dodge one didn’t I?

I'm the swimming race that Christina will always lose.

I'm Joan's place, dammit.

I'm the convent school. What I lack in privileges I make up for with any number of nuns willing to show Christina that one doesn't need boys or booze to have a good time.

I'm Christina's acting career.

I'm acting, which Joan tells Steve Forrest she's not doing while actually doing nothing but.

I'm Hollywood royalty.

I'm all of those wuuuuuunderful fans.

I am Tina's ironclad white pantie flashed on screen at 29s mark

I'm a child under 10 years old mixing a drink for her mother who is posing on a couch like a cheap whore for a guy who is at least twenty years her junior.

I'm also the absence of shame in this context.

I’m nothing but a rotten, crooked lawyer... supplying the grease that makes the shitty movie business work. There isn't a dirty cover up in the entire movie business that I don't know about, and my hand is in EVERY ONE of them... I REEK OF IT!

I'm the teenage Christina's hair bow, plaid dress and white ankle socks which are more suitable for a child of six, hence making her look like a retard.

I'm Christina's Jewish soap opera producer.

I’m Uncle Greg who’s fucking Mommie Dearest right now.

I'm the fury inspired by a photographer agreeing with my daughter.

I'm the weird irony that a movie about child abuse has become a hilarious camp classic.

I’m the apartment that Christina lives in while she’s in NYC. When Christina is packing her stuff to move out towards the end of the movie, it is never explained where Christina goes next.🧐

I’m Barbara. I WAS writing a glowing magazine article on Joan, but after seeing her beat the shit out of Christina, the glowing article is definitely out of the question now...(unless Joan can persuade me with a nice check to perhaps change my mind).

R124 She moves back to Chadwick to manage the stables, on a work scholarship no less!!!

I'm Joan's breasts, grabbed in despair after our owner has been deliberately embarrassed in front of A REPORTER.

R124, I figured her soap opera money got her a better place or she was engaged to her husband who we haven't seen at this point.

I'm a famous Hollywood ACTRESS NOT Movie STAR. None of my precious darlings will write a book about their wonderful Mother.

R117 And I'm the leg of the mother who is acting like a cheap whore.

Barbara PLEASE!

I'm the Blu-ray which has yet to be released.

I'm the heartless, evil L. B. Mayer, who unceremoniously cans poor "Hollywood Royalty" Joan. Too bad that scene didn't happen in real life.

I'm an institution of learning AND a teenage brothel.

Funny shit

R135 love it

I'm the "last word", which Joan thought she always had.

I'm the pool house changing room Joan locks Christina in after spanking her.

I'm a red weirdo.

I am the dirt Joan was mad at, but no she was not mad at me, it's the maid!

I'm Helga. Joan wasn't actually mad at me.

I'm Greg's socks. I can be handled.

I'm the years Christina spent at Catholic school. I've been hard.

I’m that word, Understand.

Joan worked much, much harder than her grifter daughter ever did. I would respect Christina (a tiny bit more) if she'd actually made a career for herself instead of living of Mommie Dearest. Same goes doubt for Hyman.

"Joan worked much, much harder than her grifter daughter ever did. I would respect Christina (a tiny bit more) if she'd actually made a career for herself instead of living of Mommie Dearest. Same goes doubt for Hyman."

Christina Crawford was never a "grifter." And I think if she'd had a choice she would have preferred to have been adopted by a nice, normal, ordinary couple (single mothers generally weren't prime candidates to get a hold of children; Joan pulled strings to get her "babies") rather than an alcoholic, mentally disturbed movie star.

I don't think B.D. Hyman would have wanted to lead a life different from the one she had with Bette Davis. Unlike Christina, B.D. was spoiled. She lived very well, traveled the world with her mother and met interesting, important people. Bette may have been a pain in the rear but was wasn't an outright abuser like Joan. B.D. turned out to be truly crazy, and is a homophobic religious fanatic. Christiana seems like an angel compared to her.

Not today, Satan!

I’m the balled up newspaper page containing the umpteenth bad review of Faye’s performance as Joan Crawford. I await my complete demise as cunty Faye fumbles around in her Kelly bag for her cigarette lighter.

I’m Carol Ann; I’m shocked!

I’m the nun at Flintridge Sacred Heart Academy. I tell Christina that her mother requires strict discipline. They’ll be no phone calls in or out, no visitors and no mail.

I’m Miss Crawford. I raised Christina to be a proper young lady. Chadwick School is a teen age brothel, not an institution for learning!

I'm Howard Da Silva, who played Louis B. Mayer. On Broadway I was the original Jud Fry in "Oklahoma" and the original Ben Franklin in "1776."

R145 Christina had a very successful corporate communications career and has her doctorate if I recall. She has done just fine for herself outside Mommy dearest

I'm LB and my treatment of Joan has been divine.

R153 Someone who is doing fine on her own wouldn’t participate in events that celebrate her abuse for comedic value and autograph wire hangers just for fun.

I'm Olivia de Havilland, and I'm just happy this thread isn't about me.

No, this is tired.

"Someone who is doing fine on her own wouldn’t participate in events that celebrate her abuse for comedic value and autograph wire hangers just for fun."

I think she would if she were paid enough. I think Christina does things like that because it's lucrative. Who can blame her for that?