Buddy

Ryan Seacrest does this. It drives me crazy.

Is it really all that different from "MARY!", Mary?

Because Ryan Seacrest is trying to be straight. Plot thickens.

It's a "straightism", queens tryna butch it up for the "masc".

It’s all make-believe… Just like most instagram accounts

What is wrong with people who claim that when men in general do something, it's especially bad when gay men do it even though it's the same thing as a straight or bi guy doing it?

Fucking annoying.

It's absolutely our "dude" I'm afraid

R6 must use “buddy” all the time.

Turn to him and say, "My first name ain't 'buddy,' it's 'Janet'--'Miss Jackson,' IF YOU'RE NASTY!"

We just love to channel our inner Sada Thompson.

I like it and I use it, it's a friendly way to break the ice

It's far better than "Buster," which old men used to call in the early 80s when I worked in a shoe store.

I prefer "Toots."

R12, did you work at Buster Browns ?

No, Famous Footwear.

I’m going to start using buster.

Buster seems a little hostile

Oh well r15, You gotta admit it was a good guess.

Preferred substitute for Cunty.

It seems so 'put-on' and kind of creepy in the gay community. I would prefer dude over buddy. Buddy presumes a closeness or a level of friendship that just doesn't exist in this case and is inappropriate.

I dunno - in UK or Oz, I guess 'mate' would be a close equivalent, but I think 'mate' can be more generic.

Dude or man would be better in my book.

Look, the expression fuck buddy has been in our lexicon for decades, and I don't think that presumes a closeness or level of friendship.

Buddy is just another way of saying pal, or man…

What's up, buddy.

Looking good, buddy.

How's it going, buddy.

All perfectly reasonable and friendly, without much intimacy.

This may not make sense, but to me some of those expressions are like baseball caps. They work well for a few of the people who use them. With the others, they don’t. There was this stunning security guard where I used to work and he always addressed me as “buddy.” It made me melt when he said it. I hear it from others and either I’m neutral about it, or said by the wrong person it just sounds stupid to me.

Definition of buddy: someone who goes out and gets two blowjobs then comes back and gives you one!

I like "pally."

SNAAAAAPS, R4!

R21 - you don't think someone you're having sex with already doesn't imply some level of closeness? Yes, fuck buddy is a buddy who you also have sex with, but you're not in a relationship. You most definitely ARE friends.

I only use buddy with guys I know. To use it with strangers is creepy.

Now listen here, Tizzy Lish!

I think linguistics professors would refer to it as language drift. Like, 'bro', 'dude', 'man' were slight terms of endearment, or familiarity.

R28 - nah - but thanks for playing.

I would call anyone "sister" who called me "buddy."

"Looking great, buddy!"

"Thanks... sister!"

I say it frequently...same as man, or dude. What's the big deal?

The big deal is that using it frequently is unnecessary and forced. Do you call people “sport” too?

It comes naturally for many people R32

Perhaps not the nelly queens who are irking you but it's up there with "dude" and doesn't seem quite as dated

This is what I imagine when someone says it. Look, he even has his trying too hard baseball cap on. Awww.

Ron? I have a name, it's Dorothy. It's not Buddy or Bud or Sweetie or Honey or Doll.

Ron Carlisle: Oh, Christ.

Dorothy Michaels: No, just Dorothy. Alan's always Alan, Tom's always Tom and John's always John. I have a name too. It's Dorothy, capital D-O-R-O-T-H-Y.

It’s even worse when you’re having sex with someone that calls you buddy. Excuse me miss your not straight…

I guess it would be weird for a girl to be referred to as "buddy", Ms. R36.

It’s even funnier when Latinos call you buddy. They’re trying to act like white frat jocks..

Latinos also like man(g) and love boss.

In Spain and Latin America... "tio" is kind of sexy. In Mexico that becomes "huey"... less sexy.

Is R24 Billy the Kid?

[R40] not when they’re speaking English.

"Buddy" always feels vaguely threatening.

[quote]"Buddy" always feels vaguely threatening.

You'd hate going in stores restaurants (remember those?) in Pittsburgh. Everybody calls me "buddy."

Less threatening, like you’re talking to a little boy. “I’m a stranger, but calling you buddy makes me seem like a friend, it’s ok, let’s have sex”

That's [italic]not[/italic] what they mean in Pittsburgh, r45.

[quote] I guess 'mate' would be a close equivalent, but I think 'mate' can be more generic.

‘Mate’ is closest to ‘dude’, in that it can refer to someone as closely or as positively as the rest of the interaction demands.

In the U.K. one can deploy, “mate...” with a grimace to an acquaintance as a way to show one’s disappointment, disapproval and second-hand embarrassment. By contrast one may use a bright upbeat “mate!” with a dazzling affectionate smile to discreetly greet the man one has secretly been fucking for years. With “mate” may even hail or make a request of a total stranger. It’s only inappropriate for addressing someone of a much-higher superior in age or station:

[R44] probably appropriate for their culture and class, unlike those on Scruff and Grindr and Growlr etc.

[quote] Excuse me miss your not straight…

Oh, dear!

R45 - I think that's true and why I personally find it creepy. When I was boy, I was only called buddy by older men.

Other people may have different experiences, but that's probably why I find it such a weird thing to do to complete strangers who are grown men.

All you can get fucked with a Tuscan Frozen Yogurt Pop!

When someone on scruff calls your buddy 36 times in a 10 minute conversation..

R52. .. you buddy

Throwing something in for fun. Do you think that men who use buddy are typically uneducated/poor/lower class?

R54 Yes It’s a requirement for blue-collar people to be hyper masculine.

Buddy implies you need help. Dude means you fucked up. All genders are you guys.

A variation.... "he's my bud...." Connotes a close friendship.

Here’s bud, a close friend.

[R38]: At least he’s not wearing his ballcap backwards.

Sorry, meant [R34]

I'm not your buddy, buddy

I think the difference is when you use it.

Online in texts and communicating it seems more natural, sort of like punctuation.

In person it can seem a little stilted or affected.

"Buddy" is more natural online? It's "like punctuation"? Now I've heard it all.

It's an icebreaker.

"Looking good, buddy. What's up?"

I hate “boss” and “chief”.

Agree R63 - punctuation? I don't see the analogy.

Let's just call it what it is - primarily a Bear affectation to make them seem more masculine. Like the prerequisite beard, beer belly, tats, and hairy bodies.

R40, that Mexican expression (güey) always cracks me up because of something I saw on tv a lifetime ago.

It was on Hill Street Blues. A sergeant was booking a prostitute at the precinct. He was reading her name from her ID aloud. He said, “Lotta Goo?” She was offended and corrected him, “Gue. Lotta Gue.” (Pronounced like the Mexican güey)

But on the very rare occasion I see the word güey in print, I hear it in my mind as gooey. This despite being a decent Spanish speaker who knows better.

Hill Street Blues...depressing

I say dude all the time, to men and women. In my defense I've been stoned for the past 25 years.

I call everyone darling. I never can remember names, darling.

[quote]Hill Street Blues...depressing

Really? I just adored it.

Dude/güey/man- all fine Buddy/chief/boss- used by dolts or douche bags

Sorry- I assumed hitting “return” would put my phrases in two separate lines.

Only 60 -70 year olds with salt and pepper beards are the type of gays who use buddy. They are sorta artsy or old hippie types of gay men. I hate them.

How do you feel about becoming a Brothaman, OP?

I use all these terms. It's not who I am but who I'm talking to and how.

After having an aversion to it for a long time, especially being called it, I find myself using it a lot when I’m chatting in Chaturbate, particularly when it’s with straight men. It does have a sexually charged intimacy about it that is now turning me on to use. Like someone up thread mentioned “Hey buddy, looking good!” makes for a good opening line. There’s is something very suitable to using buddy online, “dude” comes off as too humorous for some reason or as just an explicative like “fuck.”

R36 Oh honey, if your tricks are calling you “buddy” it’s because they can’t be bothered to learn your name as after 20 minutes they won’t ever need to know you again.

I mostly only hear straight men use it but I am in the UK. Don’t find it annoying but I hate ‘man’. I grew up through the 70s and it just reminds me of dumb hippies. Surely it’s preferable to ‘sweetheart’ or ‘bitch’.

I knew an old pub landlord, straight as far as I know, a real bruiser, who called punters ‘blossom’ and ‘petal’. Brilliant.

Pauly Shore owes his career to buddy.

[quote]or as just an explicative like “fuck.”

A what now?

R81 Sorry that was to be “expletive” but spell check had fun with it.

[R78] Sweetie, tricks use “buddy” to try to be masc. You probably haven’t had sex since 1995, so you probably wouldn’t remember.

I'm old school. If it's someone I don't know, it's always 'sir,' 'ma'am,' or 'miss.'

If it’s a stranger I get profoundly annoyed. It’s very presumptive, feels condescending and I immediately wonder what this dip-wad is going to try to manipulate me into doing. Please don’t assume I like you well enough to be your buddy.

Also, I don’t need any fucking therapy. I think.

Yep. They think that sounds like a straight masculine thing to say. Instead they seem like Pauly Shore The Weasel from 1989. Instead of "WHAT'S UP BITcHEs?" like Roger the Alien or Paul Lynde.

So, "say something important here". I am also getting tired. Just talk and write normal, like a normal fucking person.

r84 Are you from the South? Virginia perhaps? I never understood all that sir business, but was taught to say yes m'am to women over the age of say 40. I was raised in Connecticut, 46, and man some "good manners" shit was drilled into me about opening doors, how to walk into a room, and shit like that. Younger people think it's weird I have rules that I observe that I don't even know I'm doing. Don't even get me started on phone etiquette - people ask me why I talk so weird on the phone.

When I get called sir now it weirds me out. I don't feel like a sir. Seems military to me.

[quote] how to walk into a room, and shit like that.

R87 I was raised in Pascagoula Mississippi… If we didn’t say sir or ma’am ..we’d get our asses beat.

[quote] If it's someone I don't know

Probably describes most of our sexual partners...

[quote]Are you from the South?

Nope. Fifth-generation Californian. And I'm 67.

Here’s Sam’s take on it.

I know of someone who used to call people (straight men, especially) "buddy". it was actually pretty funny because he used it as a mechanism to butch up his speak but he is hyper effeminate man so I don't think it actually did the job he was intending it to do.

It means they’re American.

Stop going to American sites if you don’t like it.

I remember back in the early 90s Pauly Shore used to say "Bud--E"

Gay men using words? How dare they, HOW VERY DARE THEY!

[quote]It’s even worse when you’re having sex with someone that calls you buddy.

This is one of the four words that make up most Scruff users' sexual vocabulary, along with "yeah", "fuck", and "me", as in "Yeah, buddy. Fuck me buddy. Yeah buddy yeah".

LOL you get it [R97]

R97 So basically you’re a reverse drag queen. Why can’t gays just stop acting and be themselves!

I call my dog buddy! He’s such a good boy! 🐕

For a lot of us the problem is when we hear Buddy, this is the first thing that comes to mind.

I like when people call me buddy because it indicates that people think I look younger.

Even at 10 years old on family she was such a little lez. The same way I could tell that Jonathan on who’s the boss was gay when he was like five years old

Follow up question, why do “masc” gay men need to call my dog “buddy”? You don’t know her!

Nights are long since you went away

I think about you all through the day

My buddy, my buddy,

No buddy quite so true.

Miss your voice, the touch of your hand

Just long to know that you understand

My buddy, my buddy

Oh, your buddy misses you

Yes, I do

For [R105]