What should I do? He or she is just hanging around on my deck. I waited a few minutes and it's still there, sniffing around and climbing around my patio chairs.
There's a raccoon in my backyard and I can't get into my house!
by Anonymous | reply 162 | July 21, 2020 12:25 AM |
Why can't you get into your house?
by Anonymous | reply 1 | April 27, 2020 4:46 AM |
Because I'm trapped in my gazebo, R1.
by Anonymous | reply 2 | April 27, 2020 4:48 AM |
Have you considered that it's his house and not yours?
by Anonymous | reply 3 | April 27, 2020 4:48 AM |
I have raccoons in my yard. When I walk towards them they usually run away. They are probably more scared of you than you are of them
by Anonymous | reply 4 | April 27, 2020 4:49 AM |
They don't like water. Got a hose?
by Anonymous | reply 5 | April 27, 2020 4:49 AM |
Trapped because you're scared of it? Raccoons are generally frightened of people, so it should scurry away if you get near it. Make some noise, and it should take off.
by Anonymous | reply 6 | April 27, 2020 4:49 AM |
Well, then why isn't he paying the mortgage, R3?
I do have a hose, but I can't get to it, R5.
It's still there, R4. I tried making some noise and it still hasn't run off. It's just lounging and poking around at my flower pots.
by Anonymous | reply 7 | April 27, 2020 4:51 AM |
Now he's on a chair again and sniffing at my table. I think he's after some bird seed. I made noise and he just looked at me and went back to poking around.
by Anonymous | reply 8 | April 27, 2020 4:53 AM |
Grow a pair, you fat whore!
by Anonymous | reply 9 | April 27, 2020 4:56 AM |
Can’t you just walk by him? Leave the door open and our food inside and he should go
by Anonymous | reply 10 | April 27, 2020 4:56 AM |
Just walk into your house - they won't pay any attention. (Unless they're rabid, but it doesn't sound like it.)
by Anonymous | reply 11 | April 27, 2020 4:57 AM |
The ones who hang out in my neighborhood aren't afraid of people at all, but they do retreat (slowly) when I walk toward them while making a lot of noise by banging a rake on the pavement. It won't hurt you, OP, as long as it has a clear route to get away from you. Just be sure that all of the doors and windows into your house are securely closed and locked (including pet doors).
by Anonymous | reply 12 | April 27, 2020 4:58 AM |
When I was a kid, my grandma came from out of town to take care of my brother and I while my parents went on a vacation. I grew up in the woods, and there had been a raccoon prowling around our house for some time. At one point, it had gotten into my dad's work van when he left the window open overnight. This was in the summer, so we kept a lot of the doors in the house open during the day. One morning, my grandma went into the cupboard to get something when she was preparing us breakfast, and found the raccoon staring back at her—the damn thing had gotten into the kitchen cupboards. It jumped out of the cupboard and went running through our house. I will never forget the hilarious image of my grandma chasing around with a broom.
by Anonymous | reply 13 | April 27, 2020 4:58 AM |
I thought op was asking how to get the raccoon in his house
by Anonymous | reply 14 | April 27, 2020 4:59 AM |
Yeah, he's not afraid of me at all. I yelled at him and he just looked over at me.
by Anonymous | reply 15 | April 27, 2020 5:01 AM |
They are at least as smart as we are (much smarter than some of us) and they have hands! They easily break into houses and tend to wreak havoc looking for food. Bears are even worse, so count your blessings.
by Anonymous | reply 16 | April 27, 2020 5:01 AM |
You seem pretty nonchalant for posting this from your Gazebo--Image and everything with the post...
by Anonymous | reply 17 | April 27, 2020 5:02 AM |
He’s probably gentle if you walk by what he going to do pull a knife?
by Anonymous | reply 18 | April 27, 2020 5:04 AM |
Oh, he's very cute, R16.
I'm not panicked really, just a bit concerned since he's mostly hanging around my deck, and I need to cross the deck to get into the house.
I'm going to just go for it.
by Anonymous | reply 20 | April 27, 2020 5:07 AM |
Raccoons are awesome and incredibly smart and dexterous. Invite it in for a snack.
by Anonymous | reply 21 | April 27, 2020 5:09 AM |
The raccoons that live in Riverside Park in NY are not scared of anyone. Like, at all.
by Anonymous | reply 22 | April 27, 2020 5:10 AM |
If the raccoon is not afraid, it's because people feed it and it's expecting it of you.
They are horrible pests, don't feed it.
by Anonymous | reply 23 | April 27, 2020 5:12 AM |
[quote]I tried making some noise.
Hissing doesn't count.
by Anonymous | reply 24 | April 27, 2020 5:27 AM |
I've been OP.. at cottage in Michigan. I just went away and spent the night at my cousins. I didn't tell her why though.
by Anonymous | reply 26 | April 27, 2020 5:42 AM |
The picture is of a cute raccoon. Does it look like that op? You should adopt it.
What happened?
by Anonymous | reply 27 | April 27, 2020 6:01 AM |
OP ded.
by Anonymous | reply 28 | April 27, 2020 6:12 AM |
OP for hell’s sake, update so I can get some sleep. Did you get into your house? Did it follow you in? Did it attack you?
by Anonymous | reply 29 | April 27, 2020 6:14 AM |
R4 but what if it has a gun?
by Anonymous | reply 30 | April 27, 2020 6:15 AM |
OP, buy him a glazed donut. He’ll get off your deck to wash the sticky stuff off his hands.
by Anonymous | reply 31 | April 27, 2020 8:14 AM |
Maybe he got confused, he saw you liked Otters and Bears on your GrindR and thought he’d be a shoo in too.
by Anonymous | reply 32 | April 27, 2020 9:23 AM |
Yes, R29! The raccoon hung around but backed away as I walked across the yard. After I got in I had to call my mom to let her know I made it inside safely, then I got busy with a few chores and fell asleep. I was considering sleeping in my gazebo, but it's still a little cool at night, so thankfully it didn't come to that.
by Anonymous | reply 33 | April 27, 2020 2:44 PM |
I'm glad no raccoons were harmed in the making of this thread.
by Anonymous | reply 34 | April 27, 2020 2:49 PM |
Just move, OP. I’ve heard there are no raccoons in Florida.
by Anonymous | reply 35 | April 27, 2020 3:06 PM |
Don't let them bite you, OP.
by Anonymous | reply 36 | April 27, 2020 3:16 PM |
[quote] After I got in I had to call my mom to let her know I made it inside safely
MARY!
by Anonymous | reply 37 | April 27, 2020 3:29 PM |
Throw a couple of small stones at it.
by Anonymous | reply 38 | April 27, 2020 3:31 PM |
Isn't there more than one door to get into your house?
by Anonymous | reply 39 | April 27, 2020 3:32 PM |
OP, I am relieved. Raccoons scare me. They are crafty and unafraid. Glad you are safe!
by Anonymous | reply 40 | April 27, 2020 3:44 PM |
You should make him your pet
by Anonymous | reply 41 | April 27, 2020 4:07 PM |
Raccoons are gangsta! OP, walk around your house looking at all the eaves/gutters. Look for any holes at ground level. They can make their ways into your house.
OP, you in danga, girl.....
by Anonymous | reply 42 | April 27, 2020 4:07 PM |
Of course, R39, but my front door was locked!
by Anonymous | reply 44 | April 27, 2020 4:20 PM |
Why were you cavorting around without your keys?
by Anonymous | reply 45 | April 27, 2020 4:27 PM |
Yeah, why didn't you have your keys with you? Unless you forgot them, which I can understand and forgive. Maybe you should keep a spare set in the shed and a shot gun, since you live in a rural area. Raccoons are usually a sign of bears.
by Anonymous | reply 46 | April 27, 2020 4:34 PM |
I was in my backyard, the front door was locked, the back door was open, why would I have my keys with me?
by Anonymous | reply 47 | April 27, 2020 4:41 PM |
[quote]why would I have my keys with me?
So you can get into the front door in case of raccoons and/or... bears.
by Anonymous | reply 48 | April 27, 2020 4:43 PM |
He/she will keep coming back. You need to block off the entry to your deck.
by Anonymous | reply 49 | April 27, 2020 5:03 PM |
R43 that raccoon has jazz hands! (Jazz paws!)
by Anonymous | reply 50 | April 27, 2020 5:08 PM |
Call the police he looks like a bandit.
by Anonymous | reply 51 | April 27, 2020 5:33 PM |
Present hole. Raccoons have small hands and good for debutantes at fisting.
by Anonymous | reply 52 | April 27, 2020 5:35 PM |
This cute boy embraced his opportunity to commune with his raccoon Tito and has his own Youtube channel all about their relationship. Here he builds a room just for him, but as you can see by the design he is painfully straight. I will say after watching it they are a lot of fucking work to keep as pets and it should not be entered in to lightly.
by Anonymous | reply 53 | April 27, 2020 5:39 PM |
Here’s one that has a screen shot of him with a cute rescue raccoon.
by Anonymous | reply 54 | April 27, 2020 5:41 PM |
Seriously what kind of gurleen pride is that scared of a raccoon?
by Anonymous | reply 55 | April 27, 2020 9:41 PM |
Ever stop to think that maybe OP is female?
by Anonymous | reply 56 | April 27, 2020 9:54 PM |
R54 I watched one of his latest videos. While its adorable that he adopted, and the raccoon is an adorable animal among his dog and cats, I do wonder if there are any risks to having a pet raccoon freely running around one's house?
by Anonymous | reply 57 | April 27, 2020 10:47 PM |
(R54) I've watched Marshall's Youtube channel for a while now (BYW, he's married). Sadly, his first raccoon Tito ran off, but he still has the younger raccoon.
by Anonymous | reply 58 | April 27, 2020 11:02 PM |
R56 obviously OP IS female, or at least does not have a penis. No male would be that scared of a raccoon, past the age of 3.
OP, do you have scary monsters under your bed, too?
Good grief, I'd hate to see you in a legit scary situation. I'm assuming you just wet yourself and run off screaming?
by Anonymous | reply 59 | April 27, 2020 11:07 PM |
Use your 200-lb fat ass to asphyxiate it, OP. You know you can, but try not to suck it in.
by Anonymous | reply 60 | April 27, 2020 11:07 PM |
It wasn't that I was scared, R59, I just didn't want an encounter with a wild animal.
by Anonymous | reply 62 | April 28, 2020 3:05 AM |
[quote] Maybe you should keep a spare set in the shed and a shot gun, since you live in a rural area. Raccoons are usually a sign of bears.
In addition to a shotgun, I suggest a set of concussion grenades and maybe also an attack bear to scare off the other bears (attack bears also work on raccoons).
by Anonymous | reply 63 | April 28, 2020 3:08 AM |
R46, I don't live in a rural area. What would make you think that? Just because I had a raccoon in my yard?
by Anonymous | reply 64 | April 28, 2020 3:10 AM |
I've been face to face with a bear before you're over reacting. Animals don't want a problem. Just act natural and they'll find their own business.
by Anonymous | reply 65 | April 28, 2020 3:13 AM |
Cough loudly OP. Unless the raccoon is wearing a MAGA cap, he’ll be afraid of catching the Rona and run away.
by Anonymous | reply 66 | April 28, 2020 3:19 AM |
Men are wild! OP must be a female incel.
by Anonymous | reply 67 | April 28, 2020 9:51 AM |
I had a family of raccoons in my yard and I tried to scare them away by beaning them with ice cubes. Instead of running away, those adorable bastards picked up the ice cubes and munched munched munched.
by Anonymous | reply 68 | April 28, 2020 12:22 PM |
I'm not an incel, nor am I female, R67.
That's hilarious, R68.
by Anonymous | reply 69 | April 28, 2020 12:58 PM |
A 400-lb beached whale who scared of a 10-lb raccoon? Oh, dear.
by Anonymous | reply 70 | April 28, 2020 1:33 PM |
Pussy
by Anonymous | reply 71 | April 28, 2020 1:58 PM |
OP, introduce your backyard raccoon to your backyard squirrel.
by Anonymous | reply 72 | April 29, 2020 12:26 AM |
ask your neighbor Joel to help.
by Anonymous | reply 73 | April 29, 2020 12:37 AM |
Shoot it. It’ll brutally rip your pet, first chance it gets.
by Anonymous | reply 74 | April 29, 2020 12:45 AM |
Remember the DL poster who was terrified of the possum nesting in a drawer in his bathroom? He huddled somewhere waiting for his partner to get home before he could use the bathroom. He may have been the same guy who was scared of the POP!!! noise that a tube of biscuit makes when it explodes open.
by Anonymous | reply 75 | April 29, 2020 5:49 AM |
Let him inside and adopt him as a pet. Call him Rocky.
by Anonymous | reply 76 | April 29, 2020 5:54 AM |
It might be Rami Malek, op.
by Anonymous | reply 77 | April 29, 2020 7:45 AM |
That kid is so sweet and kind-hearted R53. He really loved his little buddy. I hope they are reunited some day. When I was watching the video, being very impressed with his skills and work ethic, I had the thought that he is going to make a great husband and father some day. Glad to hear he is married and on his way.
Does this post inspire a "Mary!"?
by Anonymous | reply 78 | April 29, 2020 8:31 AM |
OP it could have been worse, this family had a mother and six babies to contend with.
by Anonymous | reply 79 | April 29, 2020 8:59 AM |
I don't remember the possum in the drawer guy being frightened so much as puzzled what to do. It was a very enjoyable thread, and he posted pictures of the possum family in situ.
by Anonymous | reply 80 | April 29, 2020 9:14 AM |
I think actually that’s Anton from Queer Eye.
by Anonymous | reply 81 | April 29, 2020 10:04 AM |
I love possums but how does one get in your house? That’s a problem I’d like to have.
by Anonymous | reply 82 | April 29, 2020 11:05 PM |
Ever since I added the Tito videos to this thread, the Youtube has seen fit to drop a couple of new raccoon videos in my feed every day. They’re just WEIRD cats!
by Anonymous | reply 83 | April 30, 2020 6:10 AM |
Weird cats with hands, R83. Talk about worst nightmares!
by Anonymous | reply 84 | April 30, 2020 3:18 PM |
R74 Shoot yourself, asshole
by Anonymous | reply 85 | April 30, 2020 3:38 PM |
OP, raccoons tend to hang around places where there's food (or where they think there is). Are your garbage cans raccoon-resistant? If they have plastic tops, the animals will pull them off.
We had raccoons when I was a teen (on Long Island). They were always outside at night, scrounging around in the garbage, till my father invested in a set of heavy-metal cans with tops that resisted animal invasion.
And soon enough the raccoons were gone.
Lest anyone be misled by those tubes of tame raccoons, the ones in the wild are very dangerous. It's a myth that they avoid humans. If they feel like attacking you for sport, they will do so.
by Anonymous | reply 86 | May 2, 2020 10:41 PM |
I was getting an anxiety attack at OPs terrifying predicament so I skipped ahead. did he get back in his house?
by Anonymous | reply 87 | May 2, 2020 11:04 PM |
I really like raccoons, but you need to be tough. First of all, I'm going to apologize for being Midwestern, so if I speak funny, please forgive me. I've been struggling with raccoons for several years. I didn't know I had a problem until I saw stains on my kitchen ceiling, because raccoons had torn a hole in my roof and the rain was getting in. I called an animal control service to try to handle the raccoons. They guy kept coming buy to take raccoons away from the cages he had set, and was very nice. The last day I called him, the raccoon was banging around in the trap up on the roof, and it was a hot day. When the guy finally arrived, the raccoon had died, and I saw his little hand reaching through the bars. I think it may have been the first time another man saw me cry. I'm still saving up to have my roof replaced. You have to start out being tough with them, or it will only get worse/ I wish you luck, but they're really smart critters, and you have to be smarter if you don't want them taking over your house/
by Anonymous | reply 88 | May 2, 2020 11:54 PM |
It's a month later and I still can't get into my house. The raccoon moved its family into my house. I see the TV on.
by Anonymous | reply 89 | May 2, 2020 11:57 PM |
R89, that's what happened with that Lazy Boy furniture commercial that used to be on. Those raccoons broke into an empty vacation cabin and lounged in the recliners and watched TV and used the phone to order delivery of more furniture. Off camera, they probably ordered pizza too.
by Anonymous | reply 90 | May 3, 2020 12:43 AM |
I had a family of animals that settled into the are above my bedroom ceiling and below my upper floor. They never entered my unit, but were heard in at least 5 abutting buildings. Hey could squeeze between the party walls and were probably eating the pet food next doors. They sounded very leisurely, like they were reading the evening paper after a day in the office.
My fix: I still had floor speakers at the time, so I put them, face down, on the floor directly above their nest. Then I put the song “Bump it with a Trumpet” from Gypsy, on repeat, volume 8, for an hour. The ceiling below was even vibrating. I think the abrupt horns and drums would really bug them. And they never returned.
by Anonymous | reply 91 | May 3, 2020 1:39 AM |
OP Your raccoon is adowwable. Look at its little moist nose! Have you given it a name?
by Anonymous | reply 92 | May 3, 2020 8:05 AM |
It's funny how US is the richest country in the world, yet you all live in cardboard boxes where rats, roaches, racoons etc. can just come in anytime they want and live there
by Anonymous | reply 93 | May 4, 2020 12:14 PM |
It's not too difficult to understand, R93. You see, in the US the people are very heavily influenced against their own interests. And they're programmed to actually embrace their short shrift at the hands of their overlords. They hem and haw day and night about the "free market" and how it benefits them, but it's never benefited them at all. No, not THEM - it's not like THEY'RE rich, right? So anyway, getting back to your post. It's standard fair in the US for manufacturers to offer a shitty, sub-par product while insisting that it's the BEST on the MARKET that money can buy JUST because it's made in America. Likewise, the American consumer concurs with that notion most whole-heartedly by insisting the very same for the same reason.
by Anonymous | reply 94 | May 4, 2020 12:25 PM |
R87 No she's been staying a hotel, and every day she drives by to make sure no scary creatures are around. One day, she will snap and once again claim what is rightfully hers.
by Anonymous | reply 95 | May 4, 2020 12:31 PM |
No one has mentioned rabies! It is a deadly disease and kills within a few hours. It is very common. If OP has rabies, that raccoon is in danger.
by Anonymous | reply 96 | May 4, 2020 12:44 PM |
I can't believe this thread is still happening.
by Anonymous | reply 97 | May 4, 2020 12:57 PM |
Possum in a drawer was back in the 90's, wasn't it?
by Anonymous | reply 98 | May 4, 2020 12:59 PM |
I'm not American, R93.
by Anonymous | reply 99 | May 4, 2020 1:44 PM |
Wasn't talking about you, but people that have houses in which racoons and opossums can move in
by Anonymous | reply 100 | May 4, 2020 5:23 PM |
Raccoons and possums are masters at getting in anything they want R100. They are relentless if they think there is food in there and raccoons have little hands that are great at prying.
by Anonymous | reply 101 | May 4, 2020 5:26 PM |
Yeah, they could never move into a normal, brick wall house. We don't have animals living in our walls and kitchen drawers where I live since our houses aren't made out of cardboard paper
by Anonymous | reply 102 | May 4, 2020 5:44 PM |
Actually, yes, they can R102. Not sure where you live, maybe some place that doesn't have abundant wildlife? Raccoons can most certainly climb brick walls and even tall office buildings. People in the States also live in brick houses.
I'm not trying to argue but I think you are probably just the usual "everything about America sucks" troll.
by Anonymous | reply 103 | May 4, 2020 5:49 PM |
Cayenne pepper. They hate it. Just a little sprinkled in a spot they dig at - will do it. Don't over due it - it can burn.
by Anonymous | reply 104 | May 4, 2020 6:35 PM |
Shake it off wimp!
by Anonymous | reply 105 | May 4, 2020 8:07 PM |
This is why they hate us.
by Anonymous | reply 106 | May 4, 2020 8:09 PM |
An immigrant from England told me that there aren't raccoons in the UK. If there were, they'd be in those houses too, R102. In fact, if they wanted to go to England, they'd invent a boat to get there -- if that was too slow, they'd invent an airplane.
by Anonymous | reply 107 | May 4, 2020 11:16 PM |
Raccoons were spreading across Europe after being brought in by some dumbass German who set two pairs loose. They were trying to breed them for their pelts. I don't know why they didn't raise them in cages like minks. Raccoons are extremely adaptable and made themselves right at home. I don't know if they ever managed to contain them and I know they had coon hunts.
Any European DL'ers have updates?
by Anonymous | reply 109 | May 5, 2020 12:22 AM |
Do raccoons ride minibikes to kidnap children?
by Anonymous | reply 110 | May 5, 2020 12:25 AM |
They are badass motherfuckers R110. It's Harley's or nothing.
by Anonymous | reply 111 | May 5, 2020 12:27 AM |
If I find a baby raccoon can I keep it as a pet?
by Anonymous | reply 112 | May 5, 2020 5:11 AM |
R112 There are a minority of states where it is legal to have a pet raccoon, they are listed below. It is probably best to get one from a reputable breeder than the wild. They are very time consuming and intense pets, check out Mitchell’s Youtuber channel above about his life with pet raccoons.
by Anonymous | reply 113 | May 5, 2020 5:43 AM |
They seem like a very poor choice for a pet animal.
by Anonymous | reply 114 | May 5, 2020 11:02 AM |
I can't imagine having a racoon as a pet, as cute as they are. They're crafty enough that it'd be like having a monkey in your house. They'd get into everything. I have seen some videos of people who have possums as pets, and that seems less high-maintenance--they're also not nearly as aggressive as raccoons.
by Anonymous | reply 115 | May 5, 2020 12:38 PM |
Has OP died of rabies, yet? I want his stuff.
by Anonymous | reply 116 | May 5, 2020 12:42 PM |
R115 I agree, I think if you are interested in a more exotic pet a hedgehog is the way to go, especially if you work 9-5 as they are nocturnal and will be out during the day. They seem to take considerably little room and prefer to be alone, raccoons seems so social and to be alone as a pet seems cruel.
And they may not have those mischievous masked eyes, but they are pretty gosh darn cute!
by Anonymous | reply 117 | May 5, 2020 1:19 PM |
They are the stinkiest motherfuckers during season.
by Anonymous | reply 118 | May 5, 2020 2:26 PM |
I started having problems with raccoons in my yard when my neighbor started leaving food out for her cat on her screened porch with the outside door ajar. I politely asked that she stop as animals were coming from the woods to dine on her Tender Vittles. She refused. Then one blessed evening, a family of raccoons were trapped when the door closed. They destroyed much of her porch including the screens, woodwork and furniture. I could not have been more pleased.
Raccoons are wild animals. Don't make them into pets.
by Anonymous | reply 119 | May 5, 2020 2:36 PM |
R119 But TWEEEEE they so cute TWEEEEEEE SQUEEEEE I canz has hits on YouTube.
by Anonymous | reply 120 | May 5, 2020 2:41 PM |
Not only are they wild animals, but they're smarter than we are, devious, amoral -- and they have hands!
by Anonymous | reply 121 | May 5, 2020 4:26 PM |
What type off morality test is administered to raccoons?
by Anonymous | reply 122 | May 6, 2020 3:30 AM |
So did this scared girl die or what? She ever make it back in her house?
by Anonymous | reply 123 | May 6, 2020 3:34 AM |
It was OP’s trilby hat and vintage Dianne Von Furstenberg sunglasses that attracted the raccoon.
Only French horn music from a gazebo will drive it away.
No one will hear anything out here. In the dark. All alone. In the dark.
by Anonymous | reply 125 | May 6, 2020 2:13 PM |
They have yellow glowing eyes in the dark. Very spooky. You can't see anything but the eyes.
by Anonymous | reply 126 | May 6, 2020 2:59 PM |
So, how did this work out OP? Are you still in your gazebo? I demand an update!
by Anonymous | reply 127 | May 9, 2020 3:46 PM |
OP is the biggest fucking MARY in the history of DL. I am practically pissing myself laughing at him trapped by a raccoon in his gazebo, frantically posting on DL. We are very supportive of almost all predicaments, but there are limits. Just this week, a brown bear climbed up onto a balcony in northern Italy, smashed a window and tried to get into a house where people were. The residents did not carry on like OP.
by Anonymous | reply 128 | May 9, 2020 4:19 PM |
It was't funny at the time, R128. I was in the gazebo when I saw it blocking my path to the doorway. I wouldn't say I was terrified, but it was concerning, especially because he or she decided to meander on the deck and showed no signs of leaving.
by Anonymous | reply 129 | May 9, 2020 6:54 PM |
That’s the raccoons house op just lives there
by Anonymous | reply 130 | May 9, 2020 9:22 PM |
R88, what exactly did you think happened to the other raccoons your exterminator trapped?
by Anonymous | reply 131 | May 10, 2020 12:49 PM |
Guys, I'm back in my gazebo and guess what?!! The raccoon is back!! I'm not concerned this time though.
by Anonymous | reply 132 | May 16, 2020 5:35 AM |
This happened to me once when I was waiting for my boyfriend to open his front door and let me in. There were three raccoons outside. I was terrified because they were huge. Anyway they left and came back about three minutes later with THREE MORE RACCOONS! I was in hysterics at this point. My boyfriend was in the shower and I didn’t have a key at this point in the relationship....I was calling him from my sell phone screaming. I though I was about to be gang raped by those little bastards. They just kept moving towards me. Eventually he let me in. I have PTSD from it.
by Anonymous | reply 133 | May 16, 2020 5:40 AM |
My daughter Buddy adopted a pet raccoon. It bit the bitch, and when I was taking her to the hospital, I almost ran over a fucking kid in my car!
by Anonymous | reply 134 | May 16, 2020 5:48 AM |
Pics or it didn't happen, OP.
by Anonymous | reply 135 | May 16, 2020 11:37 AM |
OP set up a camera and it can become a celebrity like Chunk the Groundhog
by Anonymous | reply 136 | May 16, 2020 11:46 AM |
R135 Obviously not one of the Emmy nominated episodes....
by Anonymous | reply 137 | May 16, 2020 12:40 PM |
R131, In my state, they're not supposed to hurt raccoons. Of course, I couldn't help but imagine the raccoons' suffering. Now, I'm dealing with coyotes while my brother is facing raccoons.
by Anonymous | reply 138 | June 17, 2020 3:02 AM |
Fascinating contribution to resurrect this thread, R138
by Anonymous | reply 139 | June 17, 2020 3:05 AM |
I was once locked out of my house by a racoon.
They're very smart animals. He not only knew how to open and close the door but how to bake himself a tray of Jenos Pizza Rolls.
by Anonymous | reply 140 | June 17, 2020 3:22 AM |
A good example of how DataLounge used to be and how it has changed is comparing the typically bitchy one-liners seeking likes in this 2020 thread to the generally good-natured replies in the raccoon thread from 2017.
by Anonymous | reply 141 | June 17, 2020 6:20 AM |
R140 I always picked them as a Hot Pock kinda animal?
by Anonymous | reply 142 | June 17, 2020 7:26 AM |
I've seen footage of a pet one opening the fridge to get a snack at night and then closing the door afterwards. Which means it's probably better to share a house with than a teenager.
by Anonymous | reply 143 | June 17, 2020 8:10 AM |
R143 yeah I would rather deal with a messy teen bathroom, than where ever a raccoon does it’s business.
by Anonymous | reply 144 | June 17, 2020 8:43 AM |
They're basically like cats in that regard, you can litter train them.
I'll admit that cats are less likely to jump on your head and start clawing and biting you.
by Anonymous | reply 145 | June 17, 2020 9:12 AM |
Run, OP!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE.
by Anonymous | reply 146 | June 17, 2020 9:34 AM |
... and Bai Ling is on the roof!
by Anonymous | reply 147 | June 17, 2020 9:39 AM |
Raccoons make great COVID-19 pandemic pets, OP. They wear masks and wash their hands. Nothing to worry about. They're safe!
by Anonymous | reply 148 | June 17, 2020 9:44 AM |
[quote]“Bump it with a Trumpet” from Gypsy.
Bless your heart, R91. It's You Gotta Get a Gimmick.
by Anonymous | reply 149 | June 18, 2020 5:53 AM |
The raccoon came back and I got a pic of her friend!
by Anonymous | reply 150 | June 23, 2020 3:17 AM |
You've made amazing progress, OP. Congrats!
by Anonymous | reply 151 | June 23, 2020 6:07 AM |
If you name it, it’s your for life then.
by Anonymous | reply 152 | June 23, 2020 8:07 AM |
OP, your option to call the police on the intruder has expired. It's now a defunded racoon. You snooze, you lose.
by Anonymous | reply 153 | June 23, 2020 9:46 AM |
I have found singing Macy Gray songs drives most animals away.
If I had a gazebo, I’d definitely keep a wig and fuck-me pumps handy. There’s aways squirrels loitering with intent.
by Anonymous | reply 154 | June 23, 2020 3:15 PM |
Who pays the taxes on the land? Fuck the little trespasser! They will destroy your landscaping and make a huge mess if they can find anything to eat.
Shoot um or use a have-a- heart trap if you're a pussy. But, be warned, they don't like to be in a cage. I pay my gardener $50 a head to relocate them 'to the country'. For all I know, he may eat them.
by Anonymous | reply 155 | June 23, 2020 3:38 PM |
A mother raccoon and her babies got stuck in an empty dumpster behind a pizza place I was working at. They must not have realized the dumpster was empty before they climbed in. They were all huddled together in the corner and looked scared. This was really early in the morning as I went to take out some trash. I grabbed a scrap piece of fencing and placed it in there as a ramp, and left the side door open. When I came back a few minutes later, they all got out.
by Anonymous | reply 156 | June 23, 2020 6:33 PM |
Very nice thing to have done, R156
by Anonymous | reply 157 | June 23, 2020 10:08 PM |
R156 is a hero!
by Anonymous | reply 158 | June 23, 2020 10:17 PM |
You're a hero, R156!
I pay the taxes, R155, the raccoons certainly don't! But so far they haven't damaged anything so I don't mind them squatting, especially now that the big one lets me move freely between my gazebo and house.
by Anonymous | reply 159 | June 23, 2020 10:19 PM |
Baby raccoon learns to swim, this melted my cold cynical heart.
by Anonymous | reply 160 | July 20, 2020 9:10 PM |
R160, animals can do that to you if you let them. And you should, they'll put you in touch with your empathetic side -- no surprise that Trumpy didn't have pets as a child and isn't interested in them now. His loss!
by Anonymous | reply 161 | July 21, 2020 12:17 AM |
I had a pet raccoon growing up. A wild one we found as a baby on the side of the road. He was a very fun pet for a few months, Once he became a full grown adult raccoon (about a year) he was a lot less fun due to all his animal instincts being present and we let him go back to the wild whence he came.
by Anonymous | reply 162 | July 21, 2020 12:25 AM |