Let's cast the inevitable HBO series PANDEMIC

Danny DeVito as Dr. Fauci.

Todrick Hall as the Surgeon General.

Caitlyn Jenner as Melanova wearing fuck me pumps to plant a tree. It's her only appearance in the 8 part, 12 hour mini-series.

Esai Morales as Jim Acosta.

Woody Allen IS Dr Anthony Fauci

Chris Sullivan (from This Is Us) as Dr. Phil

Emma Roberts as Kayeligh McEnany

Mila Kunis as Kaitlan Collins

Chris Hemsworth as Chris Cuomo

Casey Affleck as Mike Pence

Laura Linney as Dr Scarf Birx.

Melissa Leo as Kellyanne Conway

Aaron Eckhart (in a gray wig) as Mike Pence

with Ms Faye Dunaway as Angry Elder Grocery Shopper #2

Crissy Metz as the White House tennis pavilion.

Cecily Strong MUST play Jeanine Piro.

Lens Dunham as Karen Pence

Stockard Channing as Trump

Diane Keaton as Nancy Pelosi

Mario Cantone as Andrew Cuomo

Ru Paul as the Surgeon General

Chris Evans as Chris "I'm Full of It" Cuomo

Will Arnett as Gavin Newsom

Andy Cohen as Anderson Cooper

Michael Moore as Mitch McConnell

Can Brooke Shields play someone? Even Melania? We won’t be picky.

She’s getting older, and I like her.

Can Brooke Shields play someone? Even Melania? We won’t be picky.

She’s getting older, and I like her.

Brad Pitt as Donald Trump

Edie Falco as Las Vegas Mayor Carolyn Goodman

Christian Bale as Gavin Newsom

Sarah Jessica Parker as a young Mormon mother of toddlers, being a pro-Trump "activist" attention whore.

[quote] Chris Hemsworth as Chris Cuomo

[quote] Chris Evans as Chris "I'm Full of It" Cuomo

Neither of them look like Chris Cuomo.

This thread is cracking me up...

Josh Brolin as Governor Brian Kemp.

Henry Cavill as Chris Cumono

Sofia Vergara as diversity hire for Kimberly Guillfoya

Catherine Zeta Jones as a recent nursing school grad forced to confront the horror of her first year in health care being a Pandemic. She falls in love with a young French doctor played by Timothee Chalamet.

Chris Parnell as Dr. Drew

Chris Cooper as Dr. Phil

Ty Burrell as Dr. Oz

Matt Bomer as David Muir

HBO will create a part for Meryl, with an obligatory tearjerker scene. She will play a heroic doctor who succumbs to the virus and says goodbye to her beloved wife (Viola Davis), via Facetime. Emmys all around.

Nick Offerman as the My Pillow guy.

Timothee Chalamet as Jared Kushner

Tom Daley making his acting debut as a British investment banker working on Wall Street who attends the Winter Party Festival in Miami with his irresponsible luxury florist party boy husband, played by Colton Haynes. They both get sick, and one dies.

Jennifer Lawrence as Ivanka

Kathy Bates as a leather-faced North Floridian bull dyke deplorable fighting to reopen the beaches.

Goldie Hawn as Ivana Trump, watching her ex on TV and laughing laughing laaaughing darlink

Sally Field as a retired nurse called back to crisis-manage a nursing home run by a crooked slum-lord Hasidic Jew (Larry David).

Bette Midler as Herself, ranting on twitter

I thought Sally Field could pull off Nancy Pelosi. The ice cream will play itself.

Mariah Carey as a bad ass NYC social worker tasked with disbanding Hassidic gatherings in Brooklyn.

Joel Grey as Nancy Pelosi

Constance Wu as WH journalist Weijia Jiang...but she will get fired mid-production and they'll hire Akwafina.

Linda Hunt as Dr Fauci

Mickey Rooney as President Xi

Yeah, Laura Linney should be Becky Scarf.

Or — stay with me here — Judy Greer. They have the exact same speech tone and pattern.

Rosie O'Donnell as Gennaro Arma, captain of the Diamond Princess cruise ship.

Margaret Cho as Wacky Wuhan Wet Market Butcher

Kate Beckinsale as the CDC epidemiologist!

Allison Janney as Dr. Birkenstock

Betty White as a terrified 100 year old dominatrix

Jean Dujardin as the brilliant (if slutty) head of Pulmonology at NYH Cornell Med, whose aristocratic socialite wife (Monica Bellucci) has decamped to South Hampton with the kids for "putting the family at risk". Divorce seems inevitable as Dujardin begins an affair with glamorous and mysterious Chinese microbiologist (Zhang Ziyi(, possible government agent with ties to Trump and Xi Jinping.

Olympia Dukakis as Mike Dukakis

Penelope Cruz as that dark-skinned woman who came and went sometime in March.

Norman Lloyd as Joe Biden

Miss Julia Roberts as Cristina Cuomo

Linda Evans as Jill Biden

January Jones as herself.

Morgan Spector as Andrew Cuomo

Martin Scorsese as Rudy Giuliani

Helen Mirren as Queen Elizabeth II

Lin Manuel Miranda as a broadway star whose legs are amputated, but pulls through. He writes a triumphant hit musical and plays himself.

Morgan gets a shirtless scene.

And Oliver Jackson Cohen as Chris Cuomo, if he can do the accent.

Casey Anthony as Meghan Markle & Lucas Hedges as Harry Windsor(Commonor)

Gary Busey as Boris Johnson. Tracey Ullman as Merkel.

"Pandemic" has already been used as a movie title, so they'll have to use a titlike "CV19."

^ "Title like"

Alec Baldwin as Florida Governor Ron DeSantis

Antonio Sabato Jr as President Bolsonaro

Steve Buscemi as Larry King and Lady Gaga as Liza Minnelli.

L. K. : "Liza, can you give us a song over the phone? I think you know the one I mean."

L. M. : "New York, New York?!"

L. K. : "No. Why that one?"

Glenn Close as Patti Lupone in her basement

Jackie Earle Haley as the Wuhan bat that started it all.

too bad Irwin Allen can't direct this all-star disaster :(

Kurt Douglas zombie corpse as Biden

(R55) Her tagline, "Me so solly" will become a treasured catchphrase, often repeated, and will win her The Golden Globe for Most Appallingly Racist Yet Somehow Still Funny Award (previously known as the Seth MacFarlane Award).

Ellie Kemper as Andrew Cuomo's super-competent aide, Melissa DeRosa, who is always seated to his left in the press conferences, knows the answer to any question and seems to have an addiction to sleeveless dresses.

There are no handsome young men in the script. We need a rewrite.

Melissa DeRosa:

Joan Collins as Nancy Pelosi

Paul Giamotti as Chris Christie. In the rewrite, he handles the cones in the White House driveway during a state dinner.

r88 has prosopagnosia.

Evan Peters as Aaron Tveit

Joey Mills in his legit acting debut as a Brady Sluder

Ross Matthews as Andy Cohen

Tracy Morgan as Bishop Gerald O. Glenn of Richmond’s New Deliverance Evangelistic Church

Mink Stole as Deplorable on a Ventilator

Jimmy Garoppolo in his acting debut as Miami Mayor Francis Suarez

Coco Peru as Herself

Amanda Lepore as Madonna cracking up in her bathroom.

Elizabeth Moss as Stormy Daniels.

Ellen Degeneres as Mike Pence

Jeffrey Tambor as Dr. Phil.

Charlie Sheen as COVID-19.

Lainie Kazan as a nursing home resident who heroically helps her feisty fellow seniors to escape to safety and survival.

Bernadette Peters as Marianne Williamson

Hugh Grant with extra 20 lbs. and a blond wig as Boris Johnson

Jane Lynch as Elizabeth Warren

The Soundtrack

Alok Vaid-Menon as Lady Gaga, raising millions

Suzanne Somers as Marianne Faithful, surviving 3 weeks on the Covid-19 Intensive care ward.

Kevin Spacey as Chris Cuomo's hallucination of his dead dad Mario Cuomo

Joe Pesci as Dr. Fauci

DJ Qualls as a hillbilly protester carrying a Confederate flag and a gun

Kate McKinnon as Ellen Degeneres in jail

Dylan O’Brien as the nice UPS delivery guy who still gets offers of sex as he makes his way through the deserted locked-down streets of Soho and Tribecca.

Darren Criss as the Broadway actor who lost a leg

John Slattery as Joe Biden

Machine Gun Kelly as Aaron Carter, cracking up and taking nude selfies.

Leslie Jones as tired nurse from da West Indeez

Alex Pettyfer as Aaron Schock

Gwyneth Paltrow as this woman

r119, I'm not sure I look old enough to portray a 39-year-old. People say I look 25.

John Malkovich as Larry Kramer, who has an old score to settle with Dr. Fauci.

JWoww as Kimberly Guilfoyle

Rupert Everett as Camilla Duchess of Cornwall, day drinking and irritated that Charles has Covid-19

Zendaya as Meghan and Taron Edgerton as Harry

Dawn French as Sam Smith

Taraji P. Henson as Keisha Lance Bottoms.

The Ghost of John Cazale as Chris Cuomo

CZJ as Kendall Jenner boasting about her luxe life in quarantine.

The late columnist Charles Krauthammer as both Governor Cuomo and Governor Abbot of Texas with his left half as Cuomo and his right as Abbot.

[quote] Linda Hunt as Dr Fauci

Brilliant.

Stanley Tucci as Tony Fauci

Sofia Vergara as AOC

Brendad Ickson as herself.

As stunt casting, Jussie Smollett as WHO chief Tedros Adhanom.

Oscar Isaac as Jim Acosta

Jim Parsons as Jared Kushner

Sofia Vergara as Melania

Eva Longoria as AOC

Who is playing Jake Tapper?

Kenan Thompson as Stacey Abrams

Lisa Gay Hamilton as Val Demings

Paul Rudd as Jake Tapper

Joanna Lumley as Ivana Trump

Ralph Macchio as Andrew Cuomo

Jocelyn Wildenstein as the Bronx Zoo tiger

[quote] Jim Parsons as Jared Kushner

I can see that.

“And Donald May as Adam Drake.”

[quote] Ralph Macchio as Andrew Cuomo

Isn’t he too yute-ful looking for that?

[quote] Jocelyn Wildenstein as the Bronx Zoo tige

Speaking of zoos, any role for Contagion-Star Matt Damon in this?

Who plays the HOT LA mayor Eric Garcetti?

Jared Leto as slimy big pharma exec

Jon Hamm as LA mayor Eric Garcetti

Kristen Wiig as a red state Karen who is pissed that her favorite restaurant has to close

I am calling my agent for a cameo

Jennifer Aniston trapped on a cruise ship. Hijinks ensue as she tries to avoid being infected. Comic relief.

Blythe Danner as her sick mother, pushed over board by Anniston wrapped vinyl.

Lysol, Clorox, and other cleaners as product placement in her cabin.

Roseanne Barr as the idiot that fed her husband fish tank cleaner

[quote] Anniston wrapped vinyl

Your ideas are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

I can't believe no one has cast Dr. Sanjay Gupta yet!

Wally Shawn as Gordon Sondland

Nicolas Cage as Donald Trump

This hottie can play Dr. Gupta

Linda Lavin as a bitch

I will play the the partygoer who infected dozens at winter party in Miami Beach, it will be my comeback!

Chris Kattan as Dr Anthony Fauci

Chrissie Metz as the obese patients who bravely against the odds pull through and survive. Yes, that's plural "patients" because there's enough of Chrissie to play more than one patient.

Either Kumail Nanjiani or Kunal Nayyar as Dr Gupta

Dr. Gupta played himself in 'Contagion". Eerily, his dialogue in the movie is almost exactly what he's saying now.

Rula Lenska as Rula Lenska!

Grandmadonna as 80s pop singer Madonna 40 years later in a rose petal covered bathtub live on Instagram for fans. The living ones.

Apu as Dr. Sanjay Gupta

"Please inject Squishies directly into your bloodstream to cure the virus."

[quote] Rula Lenska as Rula Lenska!

International star of stage, screen and tv.

I demand equal time!

Ruta Lee as Ruta Lee!

Catherine Zeta Jones showing her ranger as Barron Trump.

^^ RANGE ! !

Jason Sudekis as Jake Tapper.

Perfect, R173.

Jennifer Connelly as super blinker Erin Burnett

[quote] Lens Dunham as Karen Pence

This made me laugh, but knowing Lens she will insist on multiple scenes with full nudity. Who on earth wants to see Mother Pence naked? I doubt even her husband has.

R125, I think Dawn French is too thin to play Sam Smith. Plus her face isn't too unattractive. She needs to put on ugly makeup and gain another 83 pounds to play it.

Me, Lisha, as Scarf Lady!

Margaret Cho as The Late Departed Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un

R36 HAHA I instantly thought Catherine Zeta Jones as well lol but in my version she would be playing a real life version of her bipolar self moonlighting as a Psychiatrist

[post redacted because independent.co.uk thinks that links to their ridiculous rag are a bad thing. Somebody might want to tell them how the internet works. Or not. We don't really care. They do suck though. Our advice is that you should not click on the link and whatever you do, don't read their truly terrible articles.]

Dawn French's role^^^

Steve Martin as Dr. Anthony Fauci

Liza Minelli as Dr. Deborah Bix "Scarf Lady"

Margaret Cho as Kim Jong Un

Gregg Sulkin as Sam Heughan

Larry David as Bernie Sanders

John Goodman as William Barr

Cecily Strong as drunk Jeanine Pirro

Aidy Bryant as pregnant Meghan McCain

Kenan Thompson as Whoopi Goldberg

Taraji P. Henson as Sunny Hostin

Catherine Zeta Jones as Kris Jenner

Olivia Jade as Kendall Jenner

Gillian Anderson as Madonna

Michael McDonald as Dr. Phil

Cybill Shepherd as Carolyn Goodman

Victoria Jackson as Hillary Clinton

Natalie Portman as the shrieking "Karen" arrested in Meridian, Idaho for not following social distancing/stay-at-home guidelines.

Michelle Williams as Ellen Degeneres bitching about how hard it is to be quarantined as a working millionaire in a gigantic home with everything imaginable.

Helen Hunt as the frazzled head of the Florida department that handles unemployment claims.

Yeah she'd be a great Ellen

Ally Sheedy as a paper stimulus check recipient who signs it and hands it to a bank teller (played my Mare Winningham) in an bafflingly exaggerated and completely unnatural manner, harkening back to a similar scene in St. Elmos fire when her character Leslie purchased a couch at an outdoor market.

Jamie Foxx as Andrew Gilliam, shown in early cut shots to different cities around the the U.S. and the world and different news headlines about non-Covid news, foreshadowing the not yet realized enormous reach of the pandemic. Octavia Spencer as R. Jai GIllum, Andrew's wife

Blythe Danner as Gwyneth Paltrow, dispensing useless advice to frauen during the pandemic.

Andrew Gillum, sorry

Matthew McConaughey (in a wig and ramping it up to 11 on a scale of 10 of course) as Joe Exotic, star of the Netflix Series Tiger King, which is shown in multiple scenes of people inside their homes watching TV as America enters into the lockdown.

I love this because of the endless cast. Barely anyone has mentioned supermarket staff, management, and execs; Amazon employees; USPS and private delivery drivers; children and parents at home, and on and on.

See my post at R113

Who plays Boris Johnson?

Mark Strong as Nazi Stephen Miller

I know people are pitching Gary Busey as Boris but I think Matt Damon should do it.

Scarlett Johansson as Dr Li Wenliang.

I think the fat, gay one from "Little Britain" should put on a blond wig and play Boris.

Amanda Seales as Mayor Keisha Nance Bottoms - one of the few sane voices in Georgia.

John Deacon from Queen as Jeff Bezos.

Brett Butler as the zombie protester lady

That's a good one, R202. Lol.

[quote] I know people are pitching Gary Busey as Boris but I think Matt Damon should do it.

Why Matt?

[quote] Who plays Boris Johnson?

Gary Busey (R73) or Hugh Grant (R104). Do keep up, R196.

I'm actually cackling at "Dr. Scarf Birx."

Nick Jonas as the clueless Spring Breaker who is going down to Florida and won't let anyone stop him

Mikhail Baryshnikov in a towering Emmy worthy tour de force performance as Andrew Cuomo in a Corona fueled fantasy sequence with brother Chris coming to him in full ballet regalia to deliver perfect picturesque pirouette techniques and desperate pleas to revive his little sibling. "Fredo! Fredo! Come back from the darkness! I have a test for you little brother!"

Bruce Willis has a cameo as David Geffen in self-isolation aboard his yacht in the Grenadines.

leslie jordan as himself.

Sean Young in prosthetics and a stringy blonde wig channeling herself as Carole Baskin

Shira Haas running the gamut of emotions as COVID19 youth survivor Greta Thurberg from self diagnosis to self isolation through self treatment and finally all the way back to self congratulatory. This role will require a deeply nuanced sensibility and exact understanding of viruses and clean air to effectively land.

Abby Elliot from Odd Mom Out would be genius as Trump ass licker/press secretary Kayleigh McEnany.

Jennifer Garner as Governor Gretchen Whitmer.

Jonathan Groff as a DL queen coming understandably unglued and bitter due to the IRS's piece-of-shit stimulus check tracking app.

Lara Flynn Boyle as Trump-supporter who burned her lips off after drinking Lysol.

Colin Hanks as Tom Hanks

Allison Williams as Rita Wilson

R218 I can play myself, bitch! (and I need the work)

But, Rita, everyone is playing someone else - it's not a Private Parts-style bio pic. We'll get you a role. How about Dr. Birx? - there's some other actresses in the running, but I think I could push them aside and get you signed for the role. Just come to my hotel suite tonight and we'll has out the details.

Amy Adams will play a small town Missouri general physician who is deaf and was pushed into working at a clinic years before instead of a hospital setting. She makes the bold decision to go to NYC to work in the hospitals treating the covid 19 patients. Adams performs in deaf voice throughout the series. Laura Dern plays a NYC physician who knows sign language because she has a deaf daughter played by Joey King.

What's your room number? (Don't tell Tom)

Jesse Tyler Ferguson as Dan Renzi

[quote]I love this because of the endless cast. Barely anyone has mentioned supermarket staff, management, and execs; Amazon employees; USPS and private delivery drivers; children and parents at home, and on and on.

-Steve Buscemi as a UPS driver who must make deliveries into New Orleans neighborhoods with many cases of the virus.

- Zoe Kazan as a grocery store baker who must continue working to provide for her kids after her police officer husband was killed a year before. Zoe has nighmares of getting the virus and dying.

- Kevin Spacey with a completety shaved head makes a comeback as Jeff Bezos.

Kevin Spacey as Kevin Spacey, going crazy because the bars and restaurants are closed and he can't grope any waiters, busboys, and bartenders

Zac Efron as Spacey's live-in "manager"

Bobby Cannvale as an NYPD officer who falls for a hardworking nurse (Keke Palmer)

Josh Hutcherson as an overworked Domino's delivery guy

Edward Norton as Tucker Carlson

Josh Brolin as a Trumpster who organizes protests at the Michigan state capitol.

This is the best thread in many a time.

After three months eating nothing but McDonald's and ice cream, Ken Jeong puts on 40 pounds and gives a brave, harrowing performance as Kim Jong-un fighting for his life.

Ty Burrell as Navy Captain Brett Crozier

I'm taking notes from this thread for the pitch to HBO. We will be moving quickly to beat the premium networks and the streaming services.

Randy Rainbow as Lindsey Graham

Has anyone cast Mitch McConnell?

Mike Tyson as the Surgeon General

(Sorry, surely this has been suggested, long thread)

Carrot Top as Senator James Lankford

R235 yes.

Yertle the Turtle

Anna Kendrick as the quirky hospital pediatrician who makes coronvavirus singing puppets to calm the little brats of the various Karens in the hospital.

^for Mitch

Ms. Swan (Bunny) as Elaine Chao

"Has anyone cast Mitch McConnell?"

I have a recommendation

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

That's Bill Barr, r242.

Melissa McCarthy as Karen Kolb Sehlke, the Texas woman who called covid19 a "socialist scheme" and then died a few weeks later of the virus.

Sarah Jessica Parker as Kellyanne Conway

Kathy Najimy as Gov. Gretchen Whitmer

Casted.

Chrissy Metz as Dan Renzi, always wearing a mask except when he partially lowers it to smoke.

Winona Ryder as an autistic engineer who works round the clock to design and make ventilators for hospitals.

Winona Ryder as an autistic engineer who works round the clock to design and make ventilators for hospitals.

Lena Waithe as a New York paramedic transporting patients to the hospital.

Olivia Munn as One America News' intrepid "journalist" Chanel Rion.

Catherine O'Hara as Dr. Scarf Lady with shades of Moira Rose thrown into the portrayal.

Who would play PBS reporter Yamiche Alcindor? I'm stumped.

Gabourey Sidibe as Yamiche

Maggie Gyllenhaal as Kristi Noem, the Republicunt governor of South Dakota.

If they can't get Oliva Munn to play Chanel Rion then they should give the oldest daughter from Modern Family Sarah Hyland a call, she's free now.

John Lithgow as NJ Gov Murphy.

I'm not satisfied with any of the Gov Andrew Cuomo casting suggestions. None of them do him justice.

Can we have a second round of suggestions?

Natasha Rothwell as Yamiche Alcindor

R254, since this thread started, I've been racking my brain trying to cast an actress for Yamiche, LOL. I think it'll have to be an unknown Juilliard graduate looking her first big break.

Mickey Rourke as Andrew Cuomo

Aubrey Plaza as overworked and over it in general, nurse Selena. After working a 22 hour shift at a hospital in Dubuque, Iowa she cusses out Dee Plorable for trying to light up a Marlboro in her room. Dee is wearing a red mask made from a MAGA hat. She also has a tattoo of Trump with an American flag and eagle on her fat bicep.

Selena mutters under her breath in the break room to her bestie, nurse Toni, played by Yvette Nicole Brown, that she doesn't mind if that hick bitch in 280 drops dead.

They look nothing alike, R262, and Mickey is not a good enough actor to transform himself into Cuomo.

Cole Sprouse as the young insufferable lab scientist trying to develop a vaccine at home while ignoring the needs of his ventilator dependent quadriplegic wife played by Billie Lourd.

[quote] Will Arnett as Gavin Newsom

Not good looking enough.

Billie Lourd as the fag hag nurse secretly in love with cute gay doctor Julian Morris

twas a joke [264]

Nico Tortorella as the queer activist who shoves a can of lysol up his ass on tiktok to protest Trump

Jimmy Fallon as Elon Musk...who was too high to remember he was supposed to make ventilators not CPAP machines.

The only good casting idea so far is whoever suggested Renee Zellweger for Dr. Birx.

Kieran Culkin as a New Jersey social worker who goes into NYC to find his estranged drug addict brother played by Macaulay Culkin in order to prevent him from becoming infected. Regina King plays the tough but kind NYPD officer who helps the brothers reunite only to later find out the brothers died in NJ.

I beg to differ, R271. Make some casting suggestions then.

[quote] Will Arnett as Gavin Newsom Not good looking enough.

They too look nothing alike.

it's not about who looks alike R274

have you seen no biopics ever?

Fred Armisen as Steve Mnuchin

Pee Wee Herman as John Oliver trying to figure out this bloody technology so he can broadcast his show from home.

Concetta Tomei ("China Beach") as Carolyn Goodman

I believe Admiral Brett Giroir and Dr. Stephen Hahn of the FDA have yet to be cast...

I got nothing.

A grease fire as Kellyanne Conway

Will Farrell as Mayor Bill DeBlasio.

Leslie Jordan in a dual role as himself and Lindsey Graham.

Gabriel Iglesias as the conductor who tried to crash his train into the hospital ship

R263 Who plays Dee Plorable?

Stephen Lang as Brett Giroir.

Terry O'Quinn as Stephen Hahn.

Who'd play Kenneth Copeland?

R284, I'm thinking Kathy Bates as Dee.

Good one, R278. They have similarities in looks.

Billy Crystal as Rev. Kenneth Copeland R287.

Reese Witherspoon in burn victim makeup plays Samantha Sue. Samantha Sue is a nurse who stopped working after being severely burned in a car fire that also killed her husband Dirk (Kyle Chandler). Samantha Sue realizes that the covid19 crisis is the perfect time to return to work since she can hide behind masks and face shields. She is hired to work in a Florida hospital and there she cares for virus victim Tad (Matthew McConaughey). Tad is an arrogant playboy lawyer who is hoping to leave the hospital early to go to beaches to pick up young women for hookups. But, instead he finds himself falling for Samantha Sue after she sings country songs. Tad wonders what the nurse looks like underneath her PPE gear.

That is actually a decent plot, R291.

Michael B. Jordan plays Kenny the orderly/transporter who has fucked pretty much every female staff member under 35. Travis(Jesse Tyler Ferguson), an RN in ICU, is now in charge of Kenny's care as he is admitted to ICU for Covid-19. Travis has always had a massive crush on Kenny.

Allison Janney plays the ball busting nurse manager who came out of retirement to help out in the understaffed ER. She instills the fear of god into every staff member in the ER.

How about Armand Assante as Andrew Cuomo?

Al Pacino as Andrew Cuomo

Jason Alexander as Jim Bakker

Wanda Sykes as Mayor Lori Lightfoot.

Gabourey Sidibe as intrepid NPR reporter Yamiche Alcindor.

Mo'Nique needs a big comeback role. Do we have a part for her?

R299 She was offered a smaller role as an inner city mother separated from her child when he gets the virus and is hooked to a ventilator, but she demanded a re-write and an expansion of her role. The producers refused, so she quit and took to social media to complain that she was fired because Hollywood is racist.

Kevin Spacey, as himself, self-isolating in a boy scouts' camp.

Mo'Nique as Joy Reid.

A blonde Debra Winger as Jill Biden.

Famke Janssen or Bridget Moynahan in a one line role as Melania.

Um, excuse me but there is a lack of women of color in the movie. I know you have a role for ME.

R304 Jada, we will give you the opening death of the series like you had in Scream 2.

R304 Jada, we will give you the opening death of the series like you had in Scream 2.

Former Scream actresses are getting roles? Mine was mostly cut out, you know. Where's my part?

Tyler Perry as Joy Reid

Little Lotta as Sarah Huckabee Sanders

Tori, you can play a moron Trump supporter who dies after the breakout at the South Dakota meat place.

Adult film star, Lisa Ann, as Hope Hicks

Haha, good one R297. I was also thinking LisaGay Hamilton.

R298, are you also R255?

Jada at R304, we have the perfect role for you. You play Tru'vayda, a crack addict single mom of six, living in the inner city. During the lockdown you notice your supply has run out and you become desperate. You decide to risk it all by leaving your kids at home, all alone, while you go from one dark alley to another in your locked down city, looking for your dealer.

The scenes of you suffering from withdrawal and then returning home at the end to discover your kids have disappeared? Honey, we're talking Academy Award here. Oh and also the scene where you meet your dealer, played by Bobby Brown, and end up having sex with him in a dumpster. That'll give your character an upbeat ending. So what if you lost six children? You may soon have another one on the way because you remember later that you and your dealer didn't use protection.

Stephen McKinley Henderson as Yamiche Alcindor

R303, what's the line?

I still say Natasha Rothwell from Insecure as Yamiche Alcindor.

A cast of THOUSANDS

As of right now, 54,024.

I want someone to make a trailer that goes on for 20 minutes, even if there's no actual series

"Starring:

Bret Buttler as Zombie MAGA woman

Michelle Williams as Ellen Degeneres.

Laura Linney as Dr. Scarf Birx ..."

R312 - Lisa Gay Hamilton might work as Amiche Alcindor. She should at least get an audition.

Lin-Manuel Miranda as overdramatic third year pulmonary resident Dr. Torres.

"My patients NEED these ventilators, DAMNIT."

Abbi Jacobson as the director a Jewish nursing home hit by the virus.

Francis Sternhagen as the first victim at the Washington state nursing home.

R319 something along these lines

Antonio Banderas as the Spanish health official in Madrid who is tasked with turning an ice rink into a morgue.

Chrissy Metz as the Javits Center

R212 Sorry, but the role of Greta Thunberg has already been promised to me.

Patrick Dempsey as cutie Dr. Cameron Kyle Sidell.

YES - R324! Lol.

Also, I have to watch this movie. My two categories of guilty pleasure films are dance films (from The Company and Black Swan to Bring it On and Step It Up) and giant animal or swarms of creatures films (Night of the Lepus, Anaconda, Lake Placid, Kingdom of the Spiders). The Swarm is right up my alley.

R325 that made me laugh out loud, honestly. Something about "ice rink" just made me chuckle - and I can see him in his broken English chewing the scenery as he explains how to make the transition.

Reese Witherspoon as the small town girl who goes to the big city for medical school so she can one day take over her father’s practice in Albany, Georgia. When he calls her with his dying wish that she come home right away, she takes the train and meets an obnoxious traveler (Jon Hamm) who gets off at the same whistle stop. Her childhood friend (William Levy), the parish priest, meets her at the train and breaks the news to her that her father is now with Jesus. It’s up to her to treat the townspeople who have lost their only doctor, her father. Fortunately, her father’s nurse (Mary Wickes or Thelma Ritter) is able to fill her in on the huge toll the pandemic is taking on her community and the case histories of the doc’s patients. The nurse says a local man who runs a drapery business has volunteered to make Tyvek PPE suits out of all the shower curtains in town. She takes delivery of the first order and when the draper drops them on the porch (physical distancing) she sees it’s Hamm. She is attracted to him but think he is a cad, based on his behavior on the train. She turns to her friend the priest for advice. Was she wrong to be rude to the stranger? What about the lesson of the Good Samaritan? Father says he will check on the guy to judge his character. Levy sees Hamm toiling away as a Draper making suits out of shower curtains and realizes he, himself, had been suppressing his feelings for the handsome stranger. He ditches the flock, confesses his desires to Hamm who says, hey, let’s isolate together. Hamm and Levy fiind love in each other’s arms and forget all about Reese.

She's already starring as the White House tennis pavilion, R326. See R15.

R331 Sadly, Hallmark will never make a movie featuring a gay couple.

R331, nice story but would there even be a priest in rural Georgia much less a Mexican priest? Wouldn’t the residents run him out of town with pitchforks and tiki torches?

ROTFL, I hate you both R315 & R326.

Alicia Vikander and Rebecca Ferguson as Swedish sisters who are also rival doctors fighting over ventilators and critical supplies.

Tara Reid as Joe Biden sexual assault accuser Tara Reade. Unfortunately her role was cut at the last minute when test screenings revealed that the audience tuned out during those scenes.

A flaming bag of poop as Tucker Carlson

A pile of vomit as Laura Ingraham

Paul Rudd as Mayor Pete

So few parts for Asian actors yet again. We need episodes set in China and South Korea. Michelle Yeoh can play Carrie Lam, trying her best to control the spread in Hong Kong.

In the episodes set in Italy Patti LuPone will play a vulgar Italian American who visits Italy and refuses to quarantine herself after falling ill. The Juilliard trained Lupone insists on Method acting and gets herself infected for real in order to deliver a gritty performance. Her gruesome death scene gets panned by critics, one of whom comments that she was more believable as a tap dancing fascist than as a vulnerable patient drawing her last breath.

John Cho as an Asian-American doctor who gets told to "Go back to China" by a deplorable (Taryn Manning)

Yup, that's pretty accurate R338.

Yup, that's pretty accurate R338.

Tia Carrere as Tulsi gabbard.

Makeup team working overtime to recreate those acne pits and scars.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

[quote]So few parts for Asian actors yet again.

Someone can play Dr. Leana Wen. She’s been on CNN and MSNBC every day.

Jacob Tremblay slouched with no dialogue as Barron Trump

R345 Wendi McLendon-Covey as Doctor Yelena Nepomnyashchaya

... and Sean Hannity as the virus

Who is playing racist douche Tom Cotton?

R350 Maybe Andrew Garfield

R350 Maybe Andrew Garfield

Good choice, R351/R352.

Riz Ahmed as a struggling New York Uber driver who decides to deliver groceries to shut in senior citizens only to be carjacked and shot to death on a delivery run.

[quote]Someone can play Dr. Leana Wen. She’s been on CNN and MSNBC every day.

Sandra Oh can take the part.

This cast is massive - who plays the shut in seniors, who plays the carjacker?

I'm going to start throwing names out that I'd like to see in the film and we can find them a role.

Kirsten Dunst.

Macaulay Culkin as gay porn star Alam Wernik, appearing when there's cut shots to people hunkering down, including gay men passing the time on Datalounge, discussing gay porn star Alam Wernik and sharing vids and pics.

R356 Linda Lavin, James Earl Jones, and Robert Duvall as the shut in seniors. Ryan Kwanten plays the racist MAGA carjacker who kills Riz Ahmed's chracter.

Kirsten Dunst plays Carrie, a respiratory therapist who is married to an NYPD officer played by Jesse Plemons.

Elaine May, Alan Alda, Bruce Dern, Diane Ladd, Hector Elizando, Louis Gossett Jr., Ruth Buzzi, Jim Brown, Charles Grodin, M. Emmet Walsh, Lee Meriwether, Tom Atkins, Alan Arkin, Shirley MacLaine, Louise Fletcher, & Shirley Jones as Shut-In Seniors

Kirsten Dunst as perky nurse Babette, who falls for heroic doctor Chris Evans before finding out that she has the coronavrius

-Carrie Coon as a liberal news reporter who contends with Trump's bullshit

-Justin Theroux as a the hard edge tattooed paramedic who must give up drinking during the pandemic.

-Ann Dowd as the mother of a cystic fibrosis patient(Margaret Qualley) who must do anything to keep her ill daughter safe during the pandemic.

-Yvonne Strahovski as Kelly Loeffler, the cunt US senator from Georgia

-Thandie Newton as a Chicago physician who fights to set up testing centers in crime ridden areas of the city

Leslie Jordan as the token shut in Eldergay whose partner contracts Corona from a younger rough trade trick he hired in mid March and becomes too ill to care for himself putting Leslie's effeminate character in a crisis of conscious needing to care for an ailing queen and forgiving the betrayal.

HBO has ordered a 1000 episode straight-to-series

(R338) I've found my husband.

Tracy Ullman as Brigitte Macron, Frau Merkel, Justin and Sophie Trudeau, Bojo, Ivana Trump and Boaz Mazur, and Harvey Weinstein dying of covid-19 in a cell on Rikers Island.

I'm actually seeing Kirsten Dunst as Governor Gretchen Whitmer. She just needs to dye her hair black. It would be a total transformation and secure emmy nominations for her and the makeup artist.

Nathan Lane as a retired Broadway costume maker who is tasked with making homemade masks for various organizations in need.

R368, That's perfect!

Karen Ziemba as a banjo-playing and singing Chaplain visiting ICUs in NYC hospitals perofrming Kander and Ebb's And the World Goes 'round to give the dying some philosophical context a la Broadway.

Zosia Mamet as a former physician turned hippie who returns to the medical field after her ex husband(Paul Dano) begs her to return after being in a short staffed hospital in the Bay Area.

And cures treats Covid with herbal remedies unbeknownst to her colleagues.

Winona Ryder as Gretchen Whitmer

John C. Reilly as a gun-toting deplorable who is protesting her

Has someone already done Sigourney Weaver as governor Gretchen Whitmer?

Bob the Drag Queen as Yamiche Alcindor

R374 no I don't think so. Someone upthread suggested Jennifer Garner as Whitmer.

Geoffrey Owens, formerly of The Cosby Show and Trader Joe's, as Yamiche Alcindor

Ellen Burstyn as one of the shut in senior citizens in NYC.

Laurie Metcalf as a deplorable who's been hoarding TP and latching onto every crackpot cure she reads about on Facebook

Cody Fern as Sheltrina Place, a struggling drag queen who finds breakout stardom by doing online shows from her cramped apartment

Paul Rubin as Stephen Miller

Arianna Grande as desperate for attention and likes wannabe influencer Ava Louise

She also gets to cough on Dr Phil.

Paul Reubens (sp.) Pee-wee Herman

Sophia Hutchins as Ivanka

Tyne Daly as 'Mother' Pence

Caitlyn Jenner as Rebekah Mercer

R386, sorry, Lens Dunham has been cast already as Mother Pence and three of her scenes requiring full frontal nudity have also been provided by Lens as part of her audition.

Geraldine Chaplin as a beloved cat in an ancient apartment along the Gowanus Canal, soldiering on. She has no TV or radio, but people give her news.

cat LADY

Rebel Wilson as Boris Johnson.

(R391) for the win.

R334 Yes, there would be a priest,especially if it were a Mexican hottie, errr, priest.

Mary Kay Place as Mother Pence

Marcia Gay Harden should play Mother Pence.

Oooh, Matcia would be a good Mother Pence.

Tilda Swinton as Mike Pence

Casting suggestions for Aaron Schock and his instaho friends?

Sarah Lancashire as the lead zombie protester who is actually a crisis actress in r202's photo. She uncovers a darker truth; that the whole thing was manipulated by the Illuminati and George Soros.

[quote] nice story but would there even be a priest in rural Georgia much less a Mexican priest?

William Levy is Cuban, not Mexican. And Georgia is right next to Florida.

[quote] Fortunately, her father’s nurse (Mary Wickes or Thelma Ritter)

Pretty sure Mary and Thel are with Reese's dad and Jesus.

Diesel Washington as Andrew Gillum

Who's Diesel Washington?

Norman Lloyd as a 105-year old who survives COVID-19 but tragically dies when he trips over a pile of discarded masks on his way out of the hospital.

Kumail Nanjiani as the top pulmonologist in New York who struggles to do his job while observing the fasting requirements of Ramadan.

r403 Really?

Olivia de Havilland coming out of retirement to play a feisty centenarian who survived the spanish flu 100 years ago only to succumb to COVID 19.

I'm watching the CW version where the gay best friend of the hunky lead is sure to die of the virus.

^ Excuse me, gay BLACK friend.

Julio Torres plays an emo trap star multimillionaire serving time for drugs and guns, released from prison during coronavirus clemency, who decides to do good for his community. He is mowed down by former gang buddies, including his former lover, played by Niza Jay, who is furious that Torres "is a phony do-gooder"

Vera Farmiga as a hard nosed CDC doctor in Atlanta who goes into rants ripping apart Governor Kemp.

^^ Lily Rabe plays Vera's wife who is a teacher for autistic children who must comfort the parents during the transition to online learning.

R408/R409 Let's break with tradition and bury the straights and whites and let the gays, browns and blacks survive.

John Goodman doing Linda Tripp's sad last days.

John Goodman could do a tour de force as Linda Tripp and William Barr so he can shot it on his own. John as Linda plays a kind of Ghost Of Past American Dishonors. From Benedict Arnold all the way through Nixon until Election Night 2016. Thinking she's gotten through, Linda ascends to the heaviside layer where she gets a hollow chocolate bell from Godiva. Barr wakes up the next day and writes his demand order to all 50 states that they must open destroying the US forever. Yay. And, scene.

Outstanding, R407

Mario Lopez as Marco Rubio who is shown tweeting out thoughts and prayers any time someone is diagnosed or dies.

Extra thoughts and prayers when fellow Florida Republican, Mario Díaz-Balart(played by his brother NBC's Jose Díaz-Balart) is the first politician diagnosed.

Garrett Clayton as Aaron Schock

The Shit Chet Monster from Weird Science plays Matt Gaetz.

Christine Baranski as Betsy Devos

People who still need roles are:

RuPaul

Justin Long

Gina Lollabrigida

Joey Lawrence

What did Gina Lollobrigida do?

R421 Ru Paul has already been cast. See R21.

R420 Well, since Joey Lawrence is a fundie in real life he could have a small part as a moronic church pastor who holds service and half his congregation ends up with covid-19.

Gina Lollobrigida as the Milanese nonna.

Does cunt supreme Patty Heaton have a role? Can she be cast as the grandmother of whatever character Lens is cast as? Preferably characters who die.

[quote] since Joey Lawrence is a fundie in real life

He is? I know he’s an idiot, but I didn’t realize he’s a fundie.

Michelle Yeo as patient zero. Nonna's luscious bat stew was/is an ancient family tradition passed down since Emperor Charlie Chan of the Bling Dynasty and she will go down fighting or not breathing to keep it alive and on every table in China and the world!

Bai Ling is Kim Yo Jong

R427 In recent years, Joey Lawrence has done a few Christian movies and he's in that anti-abortion movie that was directed by Sofia Vergara's loony ex boyfriend Nick Loeb.

Uzo Aduba as Stacey Abrams

Garrett Dillahunt and Hilary Swank as a MAGA protestor couple.

^ And they're holding a sign that says "Open Up Pennslivania"

R429, would she be on the roof?

[quote] In recent years, Joey Lawrence has done a few Christian movies and he's in that anti-abortion movie that was directed by Sofia Vergara's loony ex boyfriend Nick Loeb.

He also declared bankruptcy not to long ago. He'd probably do anything for a pay check.

Spike Lee as Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus

Bruce McGill as a deplorable who lands in the hospital after a self-administered bleach enema

300 lbs of manure in a 400 lb bag--Donald Trump.

The wardrobe mistress paid particular attention to the cut of Trump's suits.

Genius.

300 lbs of manure in a 400 lb bag--Donald Trump.

The wardrobe mistress paid particular attention to the cut of Trump's suits.

Genius.

Sorry about the double post.

I only clicked once.

I swear.

Okay, DaJuan Johnson should play Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, but where's the humor in that?

Joey Luft as Liza Minnelli.

[quote]He also declared bankruptcy not to long ago. He'd probably do anything for a pay check.

Has he not heard of Chaturbate or OnlyFans?

Corey Feldman in a transformative portrayal of a 12 yr old child star who is molested by a Hollywood pedo with Corona and in turn is diagnosed with the virus and goes on a vendetta to expose a clandestine ring of deviant predators in the industry. Mr Feldman will do more than just lose weight for this role he is said to be willing to also undergo numerous plastic surgeries and other procudeures to pull off the casting coop.

Aya Cash as the outraged frau homeowner who's HOA insists she take down drawings by her 4-year old daughter. She stands up to the HOA and bravely goes off on social media, stirring debate about entitled fraus and HOA Nazi tendencies.

Shelly Winters as NYCs first Covid-19 victim

Octavia Spencer as a bus driver in Detroit who seeks justice for transit workers after a fellow bus driver dies of the virus.

Madonna makes a cameo as herself in the bathtub. Mercifully, the child she gave the tone deaf watermelon dress to, throws a hair dryer into the tub. She receives 25 million likes for the effort.

Clarice Taylor is Lori Lightfoot

R446 Has Shelly already been exhumed?

Adam Beach as Navajo Nation president Jonathan Nez.

Undead Shelley Winters who R446 cast dies after being trapped under USNS Comfort, not from Covid itself.

Richard Jenkins and Swoosie Kurtz as retired American physicians who are vacationing in Italy and decide to help out in nearby hospitals. They both die together in the same bed.

Patti LuPone, Madonna and Ariana Grande as three generations of women forced to stay together during the lockdown. Who will kill whom first? Grandma Patti, Mama Madonna or Babygirl Ariana?

Patti kills Ariana - inpatient with Madonna's back-and-forth about doing so - sort of "bitch, this is how it's done. Put up or shut up."

Then after a tense standoff over the ensuing weeks, Patti kills Madonna

Joey Lawrence as the guy who is stuck with 17.700 bottles of hand sanitizer. "How am I going to pay for all this? Woah!"

Spacey's boy scouts from R301. Jacob Tremblay and Iain Armitage play the newer scouts trying to avoid Spacey. Jack Dylan Grazer as Spacey's favorite scout. Crissy Metz as the HumVee they ride around in.

Glenn Close as Dr. Scarf. She gets an Emmy nomination for her role only to lose to Olivia Colman who stars in FX's rival panademic show.

Val Kilmer as Boris Johnson

Jeremy Irons as Prince Charles

Val Kilmer as Boris Johnson

Jeremy Irons as Prince Charles

Sean Penn as the White House correspondent who goes crazy after Trump belittles him one time too many.

Patti is supposed to be Madge's mom?!

Yes. It's like how the cast of Grease were teenagers - just run with it.

I'm not playing that hag's mom

No, no - Andrew Cuomo needs to be Andrew Cuomo - plus, he can sing, so the re-write can be a "COVID-19: The Musical"; Adam Driver also stars as an annoying Brooklyn hipster that dies a painful death after Whole Foods runs out of almond milk and kimchi.

No, no - Andrew Cuomo needs to be Andrew Cuomo

Oops: I mean Oscar Isaac - his wife is a tall blonde, so she can have a walk on part as Sandra Lee, granting Andrew his dying wish by making him a Kwanza cake

Rather than casting him as Boris Johnson, I think Hugh Grant should play Prince Charles, quarantining in Scotland, ducking calls from the Harkles and hoping that he succumbs before the security bill from Canada arrives; in the next room Camilla, as played by Judy Dench, smokes fags, watches the telly and plays Candy Crush on her phone.

I'll play myself, thrilled at the chance of contracting another disease and gaining even more sympathy from strangers!

Except Camilla sneaks out one day, violates quarantine and goes hunting. She throws a cigarette on the ground and starts a large fire that spreads across the Highlands. Many Scottish pensioners are killed by the fire. Nicola Sturgeon - played by Liv Ullman, of course - vows to bring Camilla to justice. MI5 beings a covert operation to rescue Camilla from Nicola's clutches. The Scots are outraged and immediately vote to leave the UK.

The cast toll has reached 72,541.

Hugh Jackman, Simon Baker, Eric Bana, Jason Clarke, Ben Mendelsohn, Rose Byrne, Margot Robbie, Nicole Kidman, Isla Fisher, Toni Colette, and Rachel Griffths as the Australian medical team who are tasked with treating and caring Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson.

Dev Patel as Dr Gupta.

Amy Adams as Erin Burnett

Who plays Don 🍋?

Paul Rudd as FL Gov de Santis!

Which actresses will play the battling cunts Meghan McCain and Elizabeth Hasselbeck arguing over praying during the coronavirus crisis?

"The cast toll has reached 72,541. "

There's a cast number for every Covid death - to drive home the point of how big of a deal the pandemic is and to honor those who succumbed to the virus.

Fran Drescher as a longtime Hollywood agent trying to get every last one of her clients cast in this 1000 episode miniseries.

Corey Stoll as Stephen Miller.

Rose Byrne is an intrepid entertainment reporter trying to put her spin on the crisis. She's reporting on the development of a potential pandemic TV series and in doing so coins the phrase "maxi series" which gains widespread usage, even though most maxi series are considerably smaller than the 1000 Episode "Pandemic!"

R478 No, Stephen Miller is my role for the HBO especially since that asshole Lorne Michaels didn't cast me as Miller for SNL.

Tara Reid as Tara Reade

Cate Blanchett as Becky Ames, the Texas mayor who broke stay at home orders to get her nails done.

Naomi Grossman minus teeth IS John Finlay overcoming adversity, new found fame and a character arc that arrives at a toothy feel good makeover.

Patricia Arquette as the frau social worker who is tasked with helping the homeless people flooding the NYC subways.

Linda Lavin as a homeless subway denizen, forced to eat her own toe fungus from hunger.

Linda Lavin as a homeless subway denizen, forced to eat her own toe fungus from hunger.

No, no - her agent negotiated a role for her on "COVID-19: The Musical" in which she rips off her respirator in the middle of the ICU and bursts into "Aint No Stopping us Now" with firefighters and EMTs as back up singers!

Marlee Matlin as the deaf Covid patient.

William Devane as the fat tire biker who kicks the fucking shit out of Chris Cuomo and becomes a National hero.

Dame Wintour and Naomi Campbell as voluteer MTA subway car cleaners in chic hazmat uniforms. They work only one shift from 1 to 5AM and pass out on the tracks and are run over when subway service starts again that morning Their bodies are cut in three equal parts; mysteriously, Anna's shades remain in place on her Jemina Puddle-Duck face. Sy Newhouse, Jr., playing himself, wants to do a tribute to them on Zoom but he's felled by covid-19 in his limo. Meanwhile, their bodies begin to rot and stink outside a funeral home in Brooklyn.

Nick Offerman as the My Pillow Guy...who secretly travels the USA killing elderly people with his dirty pillows.

^ Perfect.

Mary Louise Parker as a doe eyed nurse who stutters and pauses and drinks Diet Cokes out of a straw out of the side of her mouth and causes mayhem at the hospital, but gets away with it while fucking a lot of hot EMTs and doctors because she's white and thin and "cute".

You almost described the plot to Weeds except for the nurse part.

Patricia Heaton as the Karen who thought the pandemic was a liberal media invention and then fell ill and died. Rush Limbaugh as her fat fuck buddy who caught it from her and also fell ill.

Seth Meyers' brother Josh as Gavin Newsom.

Here he is last night nailing it. My favorite part is when he tells Devin Nunes to go drink disenfectant.

Seth just needs to submit this as his reel when they do the movie casting.

Randy Rainbow as himself.

Emma Stone as a paraplegic physician who must prove that's she capable of treating COVID-19 patients from her wheelchair.

The role of Dr. Birx should be for me. I deserve a fucking Emmy especially since I lost to that Emmy stealing pig Patricia Arquette last year.

Robert Pattinson as a successful doctor suddenly afflicted with down syndrome.

R495 I had a crush on Josh during his MadTV days.

R495 I had a crush on Josh during his MadTV days.

^ Me too. He's HOT and funny, and he actually does resemble Newsom a lot

[quote]Emma Stone as a paraplegic physician who must prove that's she capable of treating COVID-19 patients from her wheelchair.

Just give her the Emmy right now.

R503 No, I'm winning the Emmy for PANDEMIC.

Adm Driver, Issa Rae, Bill Hader, Jeffrey Nordling, Zoe Kravitz, Adam Scott, and Robin Weigert play Amazon warehouse employees who protest for the lack of safety precuations during the Covid19 crisis.

Phoebe Waller-Bridge as Prince Charles' personal physician.

S. Epatha Merkerson as either a hospital's medical director or coroner.

[quote]R303 Famke Janssen or Bridget Moynahan in a one line role as Melania.

If Brooke Shields isn’t playing Melanomia, what can we give her? (I kind of jumped the gun and spoke with her already - she’s very interested.)

Felicity Huffman as Dr. Brix. William H. Macy as Dr. Fauci.

Kevin Spacey or Nathan Lane as Lindsey Graham

Chris Pratt as the evangelical minister in the South who holds in-person services, prays away the virus, and gets most of his congregation infected.

Additional casting is needed for the congress hearings.

Tom Hanks could do a convincing Joe Biden

Meg Ryan putting what was once her mouth to effective use as a dead bat.

[quote]Kevin Spacey or Nathan Lane as Lindsey Graham

Sorry, that part is taken.

Tyler Perry as Lindsey Graham's longtime, secret boyfriend, who dies from COVID-19 on the same night that the Senator surprisingly loses re-election. It will be a very tragic story arc.

Warren Beatty as Biden!

Armie Hammer as Aaron Rogers, who is forced into retirement when the 2020-21 football season is cancelled, but comes out upon retiring and proposes to his boyfriend Kevin, played by Timothee Chalamet, after dumping his beard Danica, played by Olivia Mumm.

Meghan Markle as a heroic NYC doctor treating patients afflicted with the disease. She unintentionally infects her husband, played by Harry Sussex (a/k/a Prince Harry) in his first acting role. Markle's and Sussex's performances receive decent critical praise, and they are obsessively discussed on DL.

The Kardashians as the Coronavirus.

Don Lemon: Keenan Thomas? We need some good suggestions here. If we could somehow combine Wesley Snipes with a Winnie the Pooh round and affable face?

New press secretary Kayleigh whatever could be played by “Skipper,” Barbies little sister

I like Joe Pesci as Fauci

And Meryl as Dr. Becky

Barack Obama as the Surgeon General.

Beavis and Butthead as Donnie Jr. And Eric

Eric Cartman as Jared Kushner

Butters as Miss Graham

Jon Voigt as Donald Trump.

Michael C. Hall as a choir director who arranges virtual concerts during the pandemic and his choir is played by various Broadway singers.

Hailee Steinfeld as a young nurse who sings to patients and whose hospital hallway performance of Lean On Me goes viral on social media.

[quote]Keenan Thomas?

Who?

Merrit Wever as Dr. Laurie Garrett

Joey Lawrence as Rand Paul.

Caitlyn as Deborah

Olivia de Havilland as Susan Collins

Kathy Griffin as Kellyanne

Good one R533.

I've thought that Elaine Hendrix in meth makeup and prosthetic nose would make a good Kellyanne.

R285 Perfect choice -- Stephen Lang as Brett Giroir!

Dakota and Elle Fanning as deplorable Trump supporter sisters who terrorize Asian American communities by doing by white power musical performances on sidewalks.

Does the budget need to be wasted on Kathy Griffin playing Kelly Anne? Can we not just find a scarecrow, stick a bundle of straw on its head and cast it as Kelly Anne?

R537, Elle can play that "gun girl" twat

R538, for Kellyanne we can just put a Lorelei wig on a broom

[quote]Does the budget need to be wasted on Kathy Griffin playing Kelly Anne? Can we not just find a scarecrow, stick a bundle of straw on its head and cast it as Kelly Anne?

Even without a brain, the Scarecrow is smarter than Kellyanne.

R539 I wasn't familiar with the Gun Girl twat. She looks psycho in a lot of her pics.

R542 Oh, she is. Full on, full stop nuts.

r55 Margaret Cho is Korean not Chinese so the casting for her to work in wet market doesn’t make sense. She could be an expert epidemiologists from Korea that plans the strategy to reserve the curve.

R544, your post made me smile because there was an interview with Craig Ferguson where Margaret Cho told him that she had been on one of the shows where they test your DNA and trace your genetic background.

She claimed that although her parents and grandparents were all from Korea and everyone in their family had always considered themselves Korean, the DNA test revealed that her ancestry was actually entirely Chinese.

Cho, being a comic, made a joke about suddenly finding out that you're not who you thought you were.

The film should include a twist in there somewhere as a nod to Cho's own story.

A Cabbage Patch doll as baby Wyatt Morgan Cooper.

R546 Hi Kathy, I see you're still bitter towards Anderson. Leave baby Wyatt alone.

That's interesting that she's mostly Chinese R545, her features and coloring look very Korean to me.

In any event, Will Smith as Barack Obama laughing (and crying) at Trump's mess of an administration.

R545 Finding Your Roots was the show where Cho had her DNA tested. . Fred Arminsen also appeared on that show. He had believed that he was part Japanese through his grandfather. But, it was revealed that his grandfather was actually Korean and pretended to be Japanese and changed his surname.

r117 I've been laughing for 5 min straight at your post. This thread is GOLD.

I don’t believe that about Margaret Cho not being Korean. I’ve never seen a Chinese person as fat as she used to be.

R551, Margaret Cho was a fat Chinese/Korean-American, not a fat Chinese/Korean. Americans are generally fatter than people in other nations, aren't they?

Alison Brie as conservative frau blogger Bethany "Grandma Killer" Mandel.

Olivia de Havilland as a survivor of the 1918 pandemic. A close-up as she gazes out the window and exclaims "Good lord, it's happening again!"

R554 see R407

OMFG r555 on a nearly 600 post thread TWO posters had the same thought! Fucking imagine that!

Kevin Back, Kyra Sedgwick, and Sosie Bacon as a family of Michigan deplorables who fall ill after many protests.

Krysten Ritter as an anti-vaxxer activist who attends multiple protests against the stay-at-home orders and has started a blog - Panti-vaxxer - which is supposed to combine "pandemic" and "anti-vaxxer" but doesn't get a lot of hits because she doesn't update it a lot and nobody gets the name - they think it's related to "panties" and therefore sexual.

Riz Ahmed in the role he was meant to play, 'representation merchant'! Riz as the leader of NYC South Asian power elites, portrayed by all of his real life famous South Asian friends, storms Gracie Mansion to inform Bill DiBlasio: "YOU'VE GOT IT ALL WRONG, BRUV!"

Natalie Portman as Danielle Conti, the Staten Island cunt nurse who stole a dying patient's credit card and used it for gas and groceries. Queen Latifah plays the dyke cop who arrests Conti and shoves her into the police car.

One of the Olsen twins as First Bimbo Whore Melania, being a complete waste of oxygen during the entire period and flashing her tits and cooch to every interviewer.

Marisa Tomei as NYC car mechanic who offers to drive homeless people to covid-19 testing sites.

R562, is this car mechanic still single or did she finally get married? How is her biological clock these days? ;-)

R563 She's a widow. Her husband died of cancer and they had a son who will be played by Jack Cannavale who his mother's partner in the auto shop. He's secretly gay.

A random interstate lot lizard after a Dillard makeup counter makeover as Kayleigh McEnany.

Demi Lovato as Stephen Miller's infected wife.

Kathy Bates as the community organizer working for the Koch Brothers and their clandestine operation funding all of the OpenUp! the economy groups.

She falls in love with a fellow cult recruiter played by Ed Harris.

When the pandemic claims the life of her son, played by Vin Diesel, Bates and Harris join forces to expose the operation from the inside and explain how the Koch Brothers played all of the cult members for patsies.

Denzel Wasington as Don Lemon with a stipulation in his contract that there should be no at home scenes where Queen Lemon may be sucking a dick or kissing another man because it might not be good for his career.

I thought Tyler Perry had demanded that he has to play all the black queen roles.

Anne Hathaway as a ICU nurse who gets suspended for posting pics of her wearing a garbage bag as PPE.

^ She'd win awards for it!

Emily Blunt as Anne Hathaway's patient. Blunt's character, also named Emily, got infected at a fashion show she attended in Milan. Her bitch boss also fell ill and died a gruesome death in a hospital somewhere in Italy.

Hathaway then gets Covid and ends up looking like this:

Bradley Whitford as a corrupt hospital CEO who later revealed to have stolen PPE to sell on ebay.

I'm trying to think of someone to play Phil Rucker. Not coming up with anyone except maybe Melissa McCarthy.

Ross Matthews for Phil Rucker.

Horatio Sanz as Phil Rucker

Jennifer Lawrence as a trashy frau Home Shopping Network con artist named Joy who tries to scam hospitals into buying shoddy protective gear that she claims to have invented.

Jennifer Lawrence as a trashy frau Home Shopping Network con artist named Joy who tries to scam hospitals into buying shoddy protective gear that she claims to have invented.

Kerri Kenney-Silver as the Trader Joe’s mask frau

Lucy Liu as a Chinese American peditrician who must deal with the racist parents of her patients while living in Alabama.

In a subplot there is a flashback to the 1918 pandemic. Barbra Streisand directs herself and plays a mother who pushes her two young daughters to be the stars that she’ll never be. While self quarantining with several chorus boys they order a lot of Chinese food and rehearse their next big show. And....what do mean there’s still no financing. The songs are recorded. In 10 years I’ll be too old to play Rose.

Laura Linney as the chief of staff of a Minneapolis hospital who prepares her staff for an increase in covid patients in the wake of the George Floyd protests.

R101- you made me laugh very loudly, thank you. lol

Glenn Close as Lindsey Graham

R585 That's Lady G to you!

Kevin Spacey would have made a great Lady G.

Now that "Pandemic" is encompassing George Floyd and the summer of protests and stuff like Lindsey Graham - the cast is now nearing 1,000.

R587 Let's just call the movie "2020 Tragedies."

Or "My Plans/2020"

The Follies of 2020

Winona Ryder as the woman who looted the mattress and box spring.

Vince Vaughn as the cop who kneeled on George Floyd

Eric McCormack and Sean Hayes as longtime friends who quarantine together, and after an impulsive hookup, discover that they're the soulmates they have been looking for all along.

Megan Mullally plays their long-time neighbor and friend who saw it coming, and Susan Sarandon/Sandra Bernhardt plays their new neighbor, who just moved into the apartment of a raging bitch with a really bad wig.

Willem Dafoe in his Nosferatu/Max Shreck "Shadow of the Vampire" makeup as Jared Kushner.

Self explanatory.

r594, the Nosferatu getup might work better for Giuliani

Jared should be played by The Boy

Taraji P. Henson as Keisha Bottoms

Ben Affleck as Andrew Cuomo

Donald Trump shown in real life footage only

Who is going to portray me, I might not be in the administration any longer, but there surely will be some flashbacks!

Sarah Huckabee Sanders IS Mike Huckabee

Even top makeup up artist Pat McGrath cannot help this hot mess of a man!

Who is naturally gross enough to play Dump? He's so vile looking. His skin looks like a rotting orange. I can imagine how bad his BO is.

link to part 2