Gio Benitez gets a promotion at ABC News

Is that really a "promotion" in a time when no one is being transported?

He is going to do an in-depth report on sex in red state truck stops and blue state rest areas. The disgraceful activities will be reported in his "concern voice".

Sounds like a demotion to me.

This is what Gio had to say on his Instagram:

[quote]giobenitez Humbled and grateful. These are tough times and our team is committed to helping you navigate these uncharted waters.

And this is what his husband Tommy had to say:

[quote]tommydidario Proud husband alert. Love you so much, @GioBenitez. You deserve everything & more. ❤️

This is David Tyler Muir's comment:

[quote]davidmuirabc Congratulations, Gio - a well-deserved next chapter - Cheering you on 💪

Jesus Christ.

Why do newsmen pics always show the guy with one hand in his pocket and the other about to unzip his pants?

[quote]Jesus Christ.

He hasn't commented yet, but when he does, we'll be sure to post it.

PS. Susan Dey hasn't released a statement yet either.

This is what happens when you fuck all the right people.

He's a WHORE, darlin'.

This is what happens when you fuck all the right people.

He's a WHORE, darlin'.

No, Gio doesn't fuck or suck. Nor does Tommy.

He needs to upgrade the husband now. It's time.

Sounds like there is going to be A LOT of ass pounding in the Benitez/ Dario household tonight.

No, no R12. They don't do anything like that. There is never any exchange of bodily fluids, not even saliva. The butterfly 'kiss' is the limit of their physical intimacy. It's all in the booklet, I mean in previous threads.

But who's going to report on exploding beach umbrellas now? Come back, Gio! You are our Viceroy of Vapidity.

[quote]He needs to upgrade the husband now. It's time.

Gio isn't the only one who's moving up in the world! Isn't Tommy now selling tchotchkes and schmattas to frauen on QVC?

And I was about to buy some new gloves. How will I know which ones work with my iphone? Come back to the Vapid Information Kiosk, Gio Benitez, Gio Benitez!

I always get him and Tom Llamas confused.

Why hasn't Tommy transitioned his thriving neckwear company to manufacturing snazzy, stylish Corona Virus masks and gowns?

He seems to be behind the curve.

I agree that he's totally vapid and useless.

Maybe they found a job for him, where that can actually be put to good use.

Tom Llamas is the one who has the crooked smile going to the right.

Gio is the one who has the toothy smile.

I'm sort of jealous of the three of them having sex (David Muir plus the other two). Although you just know Tommy is the demanding bottom.

Good for him... Congrats

This is the only kind of transportation I'd trust Gio to report on.

This the longest we've ever gone without hearing about our Disney princes. What's going on with them?

With this promotion of Gio's, our Tommi can finally transition to his dream career - full-time housewife.