If Jesus Came Back

My Christian friends say it is the end times. Christians always fall back on that.

I reckon he would look like this.

Do you think he sounds like a fun guy?

Well R3 he hangs out with whores so he must be kind of cool.

Cum in me, bro!

If this

Seriously, a guy that hangs out with that many apostles and one loose chick, you see that crawl out of a limo every weekend in WeHo.

Or, you did.

Why can't I see R1 R2 R3? Same anti-Christ troll who keeps swamping DL with her shit?

No, I won't do him as he's mentally ill, probably paranoid schizo.

If he looked like this I would.

So AWG, OP.

He looks like every other barista or bartender in Williamsburg.

Jesus, the Light of the world.

Jesus is cumming

....and I want nailed.

I tell you, that girl is he's been seeing is nothing but a common whore!

His mother is a real wackjob, she claims she never fucked around and the BOOM! God make her pregnant.

Too skinny for me OP

Can I fingered him again?

Jesus looked nothing like that.

He was a brown Jew with dark complexion and a hook nose.

“If Jesus came back and saw what’s going on in his name, he’d never stop throwing up.” - Frederick, Hannah & Her Sisters

Mary goes on about that child as if he were God!

Ooh, I want Black Jesus to return. Can you imagine the heads that would explode?

He’d be non-binary.

Jewish with huge cock? But what if he's a douche grifter? This could go many ways.

If Jesus came back, he'd walk past every church erected in his honour looking for a synagogue.

R6 Jesus, make me squeal.

OP, I pray you find Jesus.

Was Jesus hung?

Every Jesus I've ever met has been packing.

Jesus does have BDF.

R2: You nailed it. Jesus if in fact he existed was a Semitic Jew.

I would if he looked like Thom Hoffman in The 4th Man . . .

R30 : So you don't have to worry about foreskin.

Well, he wouldn't look like that since he's not from Sweden

If Jesus comes back, he would look like the lowest member of society--likely a brown homeless man covered in maggots--just to see how people will treat him

Why would he be covered in maggots? Homeless people don’t just walk around all day covered in maggots.

Weren't people from 2000 years ago really short compared to humans today?

[quote] Was Jesus hung?

Yeah on a cross, have you been living under a rock the last 2000 years?

He'd look like a homeless lesbian Octavia Spencer.

R38 How the fuck does that Leto character looks like a middle eastern midget from two thousands years ago?

He'd damn well better come back! My lawn isn't going to mow itself.