Phillip II of Spain was quite the stud

That's a codpiece, not a boner.

Nice monobrow.

Yes R1, but a codpiece pointing out like that?

r3, most codpieces then pointed out like that.

Philip II was no John of Austria.

The stench he would likley put off would be a deal breaker.

Is that a bird getting ready to spring from its nest, or are you just happy to see me?

For all their medieval, provincial attitude, they certainly didn't mind drawing attention to the big D.

The cod pieces must have been highly ornamental and structured because their dicks couldn't have been bigger than males nowadays, and most guys genitals are not that big especially when flaccid as these cod pieces make them out to be.

An example of a highly structured piece:

A piece for today:

Here's your once chance Fancy don't let me down:

Princess Tiny...well, you know the rest.

A man and his D.

Dog! It's a dog. What did you think I was going to say?

r11 The dog looks bored maybe hungry too :)

Phillip II built his palace in a monstery precisely so he would have access to cock and not have to deal with females all day every day.

Gay as a goose

Love the smart slippers.

Are you all forgetting that the cod pieces were for medicinal use? Syphilis and other dripping dick diseases necessitated something to kept the salves and drips from ruining the fancy clothing and tights.

I'll take Prince Carl Phillip of Sweden, thx

IF you are a portrait painter and the all powerful king wants you to paint him, you paint him taller, more handsome and more well endowed than he actually is if you want to keep your head. Commonsense 101.

[quote]IF you are a portrait painter and the all powerful king wants you to paint him, you paint him taller, more handsome

So you're saying King Charles of Spain was even uglier???

He could geteth it.

r23 and that's the "flattering" version of...

If anyone has toured the Tower of London, Henry III's armor and his massive codpiece always elicits giggles. As I remember there was some text explaining it was all about his ego... king swinging the biggest dick etc.

It's still better than all the pointy tits they had in the 50s.

Jane Russell stood up and poked John Daly's eye out.

Reminds me of how they deliberately downsized that part of the men's costumes in the TV adaptation of "Wolf Hall."

Yes, r23. Poor Charles II was an abomination produced by generations of inbreeding (his mother was his father's niece), who died at age 38 without an heir (no surprise there), plunging Spain into a war of succession.

The physician who performed his autopsy stated his body "did not contain a single drop of blood; his heart was the size of a peppercorn; his lungs corroded; his intestines rotten and gangrenous; he had a single testicle, black as coal, and his head was full of water."

His life was memorably summarised by John Langdon-Davies as follows: "We are dealing with a man who died of poison two hundred years before he was born. If birth is a beginning, of no man was it more true to say that in his beginning was his end. From the day of his birth they were waiting for his death."

Red codpiece, high-top fade, and you're ready to funk!

Ow! Word Up!

Hola! Buenas! Mis ojos están aquí arriba!

Did a cod piece give easy access to their dick in order to go peepee?

[quote] For all their medieval, provincial attitude, they certainly didn't mind drawing attention to the big D.

Hardly medieval or provincial, R10. Sixteenth century attitudes and mores regarding sexual activity amongst the aristocracy was very different from the Victorian bourgeois mores that continue to influence us.

According to the article above, the codpiece went out of fashion in the late 15th century, and was replaced with the hideous "peascod doublet". Which was possibly the most ridiculous and unflattering male garment in the history of fashion, with its weirdly padded belly.

Philip II died lying in shit - he was literally crapping constantly and his servants couldn't keep up with the cleaning. He apologised for his state to the papal legate who came to say goodbye. It was the 16th century -you could rule half the world and still have a life not worth living in our terms.

Medieval C Diff?

Some people with developmental disorders or severe autism have chronic diarreah, due to malformation of the gut. And since Charles II was a walking compendium of developmental and genetic disorders, maybe that's why he wore so many baggy dresses.

And BTW, all the portraits of him were said to be "extremely flattering".

Before the era of the codpiece, men wore "hose" on their legs, which was two unconnected stockings held up by a belt. Since apparently some men didn't wear underwear under them but wore shifts and gowns or smocks over them, a man could sit down at a bench and if his gown hitched up, his bits could dangle down in clear sight of all!

So a codpiece actually provided more modest clothing for men than in previous centuries, it actually covered things.