Gwyneth Paltrow takes virus precautions, posts on Instagram

What a self-absorbed idiot. Like her mother...

don't interrupt! she's having her Sandra Bullock moment.

That N95 mask is incredibly expensive, and most medical experts say it is unnecessary if you just keep washing your hands.

But I take great pleasure in knowing how uncomfortable it is and how hard she will find it to breathe easily on the flight.

But does Gwyneth still steam her vag while wearing a gas mask?

I bet she took 20 different shots before deciding on that one.

Why does she speak of herself in the third person?

That's just creepy.

Talking of oneself in the third person is the highest form of narcissism.

She needs to light her vagina candles. I’m sure the smell would kill the virus immediately.

Didn't she die in Contagion?

R9 yep

Spoiler alert!

Who put her up to this?

She’s probably getting a commission on new sales of that ridiculous apparatus.

I speak GOOPish fluently and the whole message has two points:

1/ Look at me, look at me, look at me!

2/ I'm invited to Fashion Week in Paris (and you peasants are not)

I think she's really nice taking some time to goopsplain things to us.

If she brings this back to the US...

She is going to bring it back to the US and be patient zero. Life imitates art.

I won't get the coronavirus because I douche twice a week. Nothing beats coffee enemas.

I could try to pretend to be one of the little people who makes $30,000 a year, but why? My innate superiority would shine through the artifice like the steady flame of a yoni candle.

No, best to speak my own authentic truth. I am flying to Paris (first class) where I will indulge in the finest fashions elbow to elbow with my fellow elite. Envy me.