Do you ever think about death?

I don't think about, or fear, death itself in any way. What I DO think about all the time is some sort of lingering suffering as an old person - my mother suffered terribly her last 6 months but at least she was at home, and I have 3 siblings, so we could all care greatly for her. I have no one, so I'm assuming I will die alone in a horrible situation in my tiny little house in the suburbs.

I do, but it's because I'm not afraid of death at all and thus am able to think about it for a long time without getting depressed or getting the heebie jeebies. Existence is temporary and death is inevitable. These are the only two truths that have remained constant since time began, and that gives me comfort.

I'm of an age where I think about it constantly. How... when... it's counterproductive but as you age you find, no matter how much you try otherwise, you are eventually pushed by everybody else from participant to observer. You realize there is far more behind you than ahead. I think about death often, even though I don't really want to.

What about birth? One minute there's no one there and then there is someone.

There's a nine month lead-up to birth, R4.

You can see the baby in the womb, moving around, etc.

With death, often times it's sudden.

One minute, you're living your life, planning things, making an impact and a difference in other people's lives, and then the next minute....POOF! You're gone. Dead.

It's over.

Have you ever been very close to someone who died suddenly and without warning, R5?

[quote] You realize there is far more behind you than ahead

R3 THAT is exactly what's so scary. I'm 45 (yes, super old by DL standards), so I think constantly about how I have MAYBE 25/30 years left.

[quote] One minute, you're living your life, planning things, making an impact and a difference in other people's lives, and then the next minute....POOF! You're gone. Dead. It's over.

My neighbor and good friend died 6 years ago. She'd been alive since 1929...all those years and in a flash OVER.

I have always tripped out on the fact that a person can be here one minute then BAM! there are gone. Carcass left behind but where the hell is the person? How could THAT BE?

So whatever makes them who they are is not in the body because the body is still there (in many cases) but the person I knew is not available, they're gone. Where are they?

One day I will be gone too. Where will I go? Do I go anywhere?

[quote]One day I will be gone too. Where will I go? Do I go anywhere?

You go to heaven...you return to where you came from and when and if you're ready you'll come back again. That's how our souls learn and develop. That's why some people seem so superior and more evolved than others.

I once listened to a lecture by Eckhart Tolle and in that lecture he said that if you could be above the Earth and see the life of living humans they would appear like a match that had been struck that flames brightly and briefly, then extinguished. From a higher perspective that is how fast a human life is.

Light a match, watch it flame out. Done.

I don't believe that at all, R10.

[quote]I don't believe that at all, [R10].

Why?

I had a good female friend drop dead of an aneurysm. She was at my house a week before drinking wine and visiting. A year later her distraught husband committed suicide. I work in a large hotel and one of our guests had been down in our bar having drinks with colleagues and had a massive coronary in her tub. Death can be so random and sudden.

Why shoud we, R13? Like most aftertlife beliefs there is no proof. It's nice to think but more than likely we just cease to exist. Death itself doesn't really bother me but the not being able to see the world change, see new inventions, find out the truth about Tom Cruise, etc. bothers me.

[quote]Why shoud we, [R13]? Like most aftertlife beliefs there is no proof. It's nice to think but more than likely we just cease to exist.

Why is it more likely?

You're too committed to your fear and that a good possible ending is just some sort of cop out.

[quote]Death itself doesn't really bother me but the not being able to see the world change, see new inventions, find out the truth about Tom Cruise, etc. bothers me.

Oh, right , when in doubt...play the stupid card. I guess life's not so frightening when you play dumb.

[quote] It's nice to think but more than likely we just cease to exist.

This is what I believe, R10/R13.

There is no proof, otherwise.

And I guarantee that you have none.

R10 bless your heart for thinking that. Do you also still believe in Santa? Easter bunny? They are all the same. Your body gives out - the end. It's not sad, it's just the way things are.

[quote][R10] bless your heart for thinking that.

The patronising card.

[quote] Do you also still believe in Santa? Easter bunny? They are all the same.

No. Not at all.

[quote]This is what I believe, [R10]/[R13]. There is no proof, otherwise. And I guarantee that you have none.

You "guarantee" do you?

You don't know me.

We're talking about the non-physical - so how can there be physical proof of it?

R15, you are way too defensive, dear. That itself leads me to believe your belief isn't as firm as you think, Your kneejerk, childish insulting and lack of humor says a lot.

I really can't say I believe in anything spiritual. Imagining that in the cold, dark vastness of space conditions existed for self-assembling, conscious biological beings to arise and thrive is astounding enough. If there's more than that to it, it'll be quite the adventure. If reincarnation turns out to be real though, I just hope I've lived ethically enough to not return as something gross, like a spider, slug, or Australian.

haha^^^^

Even Mrs. Patsy Ramsey, formerly of Boulder, CO., didn't come back as an Australian.

[quotee][R15], you are way too defensive, dear.

The "dear" - patronising again. Won't work with me.

[quote]That itself leads me to believe your belief isn't as firm as you think, Your kneejerk, childish insulting and lack of humor says a lot.

No, I didn't insult anyone.

It was the other poster who became childish and I pointed it out.

[quote]That itself leads me to believe your belief isn't as firm as you think

My belief is ROCK SOLID.

R24, you do not belong on DL. I did not become childish at all. You did.

[quote]Oh, right , when in doubt...play the stupid card. I guess life's not so frightening when you play dumb.

How is that not insulting? I wasn't playing stupid at all. Those are legitimate things I will miss when I die. How does humanity fare? Just because you lack a sense of humor doesn't mean I don't. As I said, you don't belong until you get the stick out of your ass. Way too defensive.

It is alarming to think about. All of that emotion, worry, love, care, hate and all the memories of a lifetime, gone in a moment.

And the memory of a person is usually gone in a generation or two. Of course with digital photography and stuff like that, more physical evidence of one's existence might be available for longer - but who would be interested in looking at it?

It does seem random and it would nice to know that there is some plan or meaning to it all - I think it's pointless to think just because we don't have the answer that there isn't one. There's only one way to find out - and we all get the answer sooner or later.

"We're not human beings having a spiritual experience. We're spiritual beings having a human experience."

While that has a nice comforting ring to it, I'm skeptical.

I'm perfectly comfortable with the reality that my burning dead body will release whatever it is that organic matter and fire create. It will take its molecular place in the atmosphere. My ashes will be bio-degradable. In a real, actual sense, therefore, there is "life after death", just in the form of matter that sustains other life.

You know, this matter around us that's been here for billions of years thrives on what lived before and that includes us, too. Our physical deaths sustain whoever is left and what life is to be created.

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust", indeed.

This is why people get so freaked out about plane crashes or car crashes.

Death comes very suddenly and unexpectedly.

In a normal situation, you would arrive at your destination, and keep living your life.

But a plane, train, or car crash just ends your life so abrubtly, without any rhyme or reason.

It truly is a life cut short, when that really shouldn't be.

Those are the instances where people really get freaked out about death.

[quote][R24], you do not belong on DL.

OMG - you want to throw me off the board now? NOW you're being funny.

Gee, I hope you find out about Tom Cruise before you die...and dem noo inventions!

Your stupidity I can deal with but your aggression I will not. Chat with people who agree with now. That's what you want, clearly. Keeping it shallow and dumb...like you.

OMFG, R29. I said you don't belong with your attitude. You're not a good fit. MARY!!! You are a fucking idiot. No one can throw you off for fuck's sake.

You're a female and a millenial, right? "I have stated my boundaries" bullshit.....good fucking god!

R29 is going to start spouting off about microagressions next.

[quote]OMFG, [R29]. I said you don't belong with your attitude. You're not a good fit. MARY!!! You are a fucking idiot.

So - I don't fit in. I'm a MARY and I'm an idiot.

Mirror! Mirror!

and more "insults" if that's what they are - DL clichés more like >

[quote]You're a female and a millenial, right?

[quote] No one can throw you off for fuck's sake.

You're fucking right they can't...and least of all YOU.

It actually bothers me. My 87 year old mother fears death. Not incapacity - but death. How do you get to that age and not come to terms with death? I blame it on her poor education, neurosis, anxiety and religion -fear that she will go to hell. But clearly there are a lot of people here who have the same fears of death. Maybe I understand at 25 - but by late 40s, you should at least begin to accept it.

My dad died early - 62 - and I came of age in the AIDS crisis assuming I would die by 30-40 at the latest. Also had a sister die of cancer at 39. I have been prepared for death since late 30s. I find the fear of death strange. And it honestly I pisses me off dealing with an elderly mother who has been blessed with a long and healthy life and worries about her own death. When her kids are likely to die much younger than her.

Wow, you are easily triggered R32. No one is trying to throw you off DL but you are a female and a millenial. That's obvious. It's also obvious that you are a newbie. BTW, you don't have to respond but I'm betting you can't help it.

[quote]you are a female and a millenial. That's obvious. It's also obvious that you are a newbie

Keep the clichéd insults rolling!!

[quote]BTW, you don't have to respond

Neither do you.

Wow, R33.

I agree with you.

One would think that your mother would be even more accepting of death, having experienced both your father's and your sister's death at such a young age.

But I guess we really can't project our own feelings on to someone else's experience.

If that's the way your mother feels, then that's the way she feels.

There’s no reason to even think about. We’re all going to die, and none of us knows what will happen then, so why even think about it?

Focus instead on living your life now and doing the things that you enjoy.

LOL, I knew it. You're a troll, darlin'.

True words R37.

Don't fear Death. Take his hand and grab his cock. He looks like this.

I feel that being consistently aware of death has been a key part of making the most of my life. So many people I know got caught up in career, fame, money. I have always thought I could die tomorrow - due to AIDS paranoia and health issues at an early age. The awareness of impending death meant I didn’t waste time chasing meaningless accomplishments.

I am fully accepting that we pop into this world randomly, are here for a short while and disappear. We really are irrelevant specks in the universe. Pretending like we are aren’t going to die tomorrow - or in a few years which in the span of time is tomorrow - is a state of denial that contributes to depression, unhappiness and chasing meaningless things. Make the most of today - there is no guarantee there will be a tomorrow. And that’s ok.

[quote]LOL, I knew it. You're a troll, darlin'.

Now I'm a troll as well!

I'm an idiot, a Mary, a newbie (that's an old one), a millennial, a female and now a troll.

And you're clearly TERRIFIED of death and someone suggests there's nothing to be frightened of and the insults start flying. Looks like you have another forty years of being frightened ahead of you.

But you're shallow and very stupid, so you'll get by.

[quote]Contemplating death really fucks with your mind, if you think too long about it.

Not really.

It's like a light going out - you're here, and then you're gone. Forever.

It's not complicated.

(I always wonder if the people who start these afterlife threads arre 12. Are they allowed to be here??)

ZZZZZ, R41. You're a bore and not near as witty and enlightened as you think. No, I'm not afraid of death at all and I like what R40 has to say. You are here to do nothing but argue like a teenager. Live day to day, my little troll, and don't worry about death. It's inevitable and final. Goodbye.

Great philosophy R40 and, yes, R42, they are very young I imagine.

I don't think about it and at 66 I know I'm relatively close to it comparatively. I've seen so much death face to face in my life that lot of the mystery has been removed for me. I don't take anything for granted. I know that we all can be perfectly healthy one minutes and drop dead the next. Or it can be a long drawn out process full of misery. What happens happens. I'll deal with it the best way I know how when the time comes, if I'm given the luxury, which I hope I'm not.

I just hope it's quick and not embarassing.

What were you before you were born? That's what you'll be after you die.

Real life is shapeless, timeless, a dreamworld. Material life, is actually death. We are here in a dead place, in hell.

People who have clinically died and then come back from it, have described it as overwhelmingly peaceful and a relief. Some claim to have spoken with family members or beings who were comforting.

I am an atheist but I will admit there is likely more to this experience of death that we know. I don't believe in Heaven or Hell or anything remotely close to that, but I do often wonder about the theory that we are all in a computer simulation and nothing is real...including death.

I went through a period right after 9/11 where I was obsessed with the thought of my own death. Now, as I grow older, I'm more at peace with it. I'm just making sure that I live fully in the now and that I tell people how I feel when I can. That's really the only way to live. Death will claim us all and what happens after is likely nothing but really, we just cannot possibly know. There is some compelling evidence that a persons consciousness might go on after the body dies and that is fascinating and kind of exciting to me.

I think it's far freakier to think of us living in a matrix or artificial reality.

R10 I once sceptically went to an astrologer (a friend who was into it took me with her) who became very excited that I have a natal 12th house stellium (I.e., several planets in the same sign and closely positioned astrologically at the time of my birth) because that supposedly signifies I am now on my “last life” and will ascend into the spirit world for good when I die this time around. She also said it points to the fact I am probably further along spiritually than most and my soul is pulling beyond the material plane somehow. I was like, “ok.....”.

Admittedly she got it right that I have always felt very uncomfortable as an incarnated being, and have often thought about the afterlife/next world as a concept since I was a child (more than most normal kids, like a Peanuts character almost). I wouldn’t call myself a Perfect Master or anything, though, and I’m still not feeling at peace with the whole being dead thing. I’m sure I’ll leave unfinished business yet again when I die because that’s kind of my gimmick.

Who the fuck wants to be reborn over and over? That means years of school over and over......

[quote]People who have clinically died and then come back from it, have described it as overwhelmingly peaceful and a relief.

Those people never actually “died”. Their brain cells didn’t actually die.

[quote]Who the fuck wants to be reborn over and over?

Who said wants?

[quote]That means years of school over and over......

Maybe they'll find a better way to teach us.

In London in the 17th century kids just went to school in the morning....in the afternoons they worked, often as messengers, how else did people communicate?

Statistics show most people die within three months of their birthdays.

[quote]Who said wants?

People who adopt the reincarnation dogma.

"You go to heaven...you return to where you came from and when and if you're ready you'll come back again. That's how our souls learn and develop. That's why some people seem so superior and more evolved than others."

That's just what you believe, dear. But there's no one shred of evidence to support that belief. But if it comforts you to believe in fairytales, but all means delude yourself.

Watch out R55. She is overly sensitive to any criticism, joking or otherwise.

[quote]People who adopt the reincarnation dogma.

I, as I've said, believe in reincarnation. I never for a moment said I WANT it.

I'd rather NOTHING.

[quote] But if it comforts you to believe in fairytales, but all means delude yourself.

I DOESN'T COMFORT me...as I said, I'd rather NOTHING. Just turn the lights out. Thanks.

[quote] But there's no one shred of evidence to support that belief.

And there's no EVIDENCE to the contrary.

I don't CARE if you don't BELIEVE me.

I have cancer but I don't fear death. Now DYING...that's another story.

Then why believe it R57? Something is attracting you to that dogma. There is no evidence for any religious belief so why reincarnation? You actually contradict yourself.

Like I said, R55, this one is overly sensitive.

[quote]You actually contradict yourself.

No, I haven't.

[quote]Like I said, [R55], this one is overly sensitive.

Insulting me and patronising me won't change anything. I don't feel "sensitive" about this.

Yes, actually you do, dear.

If no evidence supports reincarnation why do you choose to believe it over Judaism or something similar? No religion has evidence. One CHOOSES to believe.

[quote]Yes, actually you do, dear.

No, I have not.

[quote]If no evidence supports reincarnation why do you choose to believe it over Judaism or something similar?

You're in a muddle.

r60 is a CHRISTIAN, and as such will NOT have her beliefs QUESTIONED!

You claim to wish to believe in nothingness yet choose to believe reincarnation. Why? No one is in a muddle except you. You claim you KNOW it's true yet also say no evidence. So DO TELL.

[quote][R60] is a CHRISTIAN, and as such will NOT have her beliefs QUESTIONED!

Actually, I don't believe Christianity does believe in reincarnation.

But clearly you're back with the insults.

R65 you need to keep up with posters. Two different people. You're also avoiding the question.

[quote]You claim to wish to believe in nothingness yet choose to believe reincarnation. Why?

Experience.

[quote]You claim you KNOW it's true yet also say no evidence.

I didn't say no EVIDENCE- you did.

[quote]So DO TELL.

Again - experience.

[quote][R65] you need to keep up with posters.

I don't NEED to do anything.

Lighten up, snowflake. You are angry, immature and you claim to know it's true. Your experience doesn't make something reality.

You are just as annoying as any religious person claiming the TRUTH. You are young and unevolved.

I don’t fear it. My only uncertainty is whether I will be able to take the OD of morphine to kill myself before the cancer pain gets too bad. I wish I would die of a heart attack in some ways - but I kinda like the idea of having a few months to sort things out too. And genertically, I’m 90% likely to die of cancer outside of an accident. So how to approach cancer death is really the only question I have,

[quote]r47 People who have clinically died and then come back from it, have described it as overwhelmingly peaceful and a relief. Some claim to have spoken with family members or beings who were comforting.

They were all also hopped up on drugs.

What an apt example - clearly the bitches fighting have no perspective how unimportant their little dispute is. It’s what I see every day that shocks me - people who get so wrapped up in anger about stupid things. Why? It really, really, really doesn’t matter.

It does sound like morphine R71.

I had an awful surgical accident that left me partially disabled in my twenties. I'm still on a low-dose of pain medicine, but in the first few it was quite a lot. I was going through some difficult depression as well, and one doctor I consulted at the time prescribed a firm of mood stabilizer that had a horrible and almost immediate inter-action. Dumbass. ( the doctor not me) I started off having serious convulsions and the next thing I knew I had passed out and I guess I had also hit my head pretty hard on a piece of furniture near-by. The only thing that saved me was my mom had been staying with me and called the ambulance. Thank god. I wasn't a seriously religious person, I mean my family made attempts to gp to church once on a while, but that was it. The first thing I remember, was walking hand in hand with someone, I could only describe as the most comforting feeling in the entire universe. Someone between your idealized version of a " big brother" ( mine is a piece of shit) and the kindest grandfatherly presence. We were just strolling down a neighborhood road and I felt like I did as a child again- completely care-free but completely comforted at the same time. I have never felt the same since. A voice spoke and said ," Let me show you some things." All of the sudden I felt like we were flying through the farthest reaches of outer space-except I was literally touch-up close to those incredible pictures you see from the Hubble telescope- the Horsehead Nebula, Exploding stars, a Spiral Galaxy. It was so incredibly wonderful and Indescribably beautiful I wept. Now I confess to being a life-long science nerd so I undersyand how that could have influenced my sub-conscious, but still it was utterly 10X more fantastic than any photograph could ever be. The voice said, " All this will be yours. But not yet." I didn't understand, but soon I found myself being drawn back to the original neighborhood road, waking with the man again, and he said " This is for you." I saw a vision of another man on a stage with a spotlight on him- quite handsome. Again the voice said- " THIS is for you." Well then I got angry because I perceived that the voice wanted me to go back to my body and that was the LAST thing I wanted to do. I yelled, "No way, I"m not going back. And besides I HATE BLONDES!" The guy on the stage was blonde. Of course, I dismally woke up, in the hospital and I genuinely was disappointed my mother couldn't understand. And yes, I met my partner a year later, and he has fucking sandy-blonde hair. It's been a LONG time, and sometimes I don't even believe it happened because I still get a fear of death- but that's because now I have someone else to lose. But honestly, I can't wait to have that feeling again.

Gord Downie got it, like the few all-time great poets before him. Then he died.

Here’s my favorite breakdown of his..

[quote] “It's not the way it should be?/When you can fly above the great waiting list?/As the crow implies we won't be missed.”/We can leave, we can leave, we can leave.../It's a routine flight for this bird tonight/There's more worms than earth in the afterlife/Where the blind feed the blind/Whispering things like, "On the money!" and "Bull's eye..."/She picks up the little leaves/Where human wrecks are left to seed/Left to repaint their deities/And plaster away at their villainies/Where there's love and there's hope../"And do you hope those earthbound poets/Could learn to sing as good as us?/So we can sit back and enjoy our illusions/And our quietus?"/"Well, I don't know, but why suppose/It's not the way it should be?/When you can squawk, and wait for word from above/And change yourself into something you love?”/When you leave, when you leave, you leave....

r70, Peace, Tranquility and Beauty To You.

I just don't want it to be painful.

[quote]R74 I had an awful surgical accident that left me partially disabled in my twenties...

I’m sorry...I thought this said [italic]partially disemboweled[/italic] (!)

[quote] I'd rather NOTHING

And you shall have it. IN ABUNDANCE!

Most people say that they would prefer to die peacefully in their sleep, but to me, that seems like a scary way to die.

Yes, it's painless.

However, it's so weird that a person will go to sleep (thinking that they're going to wake up), and they never do. They just die, without any awareness of it.

In a strange way, I at least want to know that I'm dying, before I die.

But not in a painful way. If that makes any sense.

[quote] it's so weird that a person will go to sleep (thinking that they're going to wake up), and they never do. They just die, without any awareness of it.

The worst part of it being that you and your loved ones never get to say goodbye to each other.

You can say goodbye today.

Leave nothing unspoken, unresolved.

[italic]TELL THEM THEY’RE ALL BITCHES ! !

Death is inevitable for everyone.

Just say your goodbyes, now.

[quote] Do you ever think about death?

All the time.

I wish for it.

You're born, you live, and then you die.

Make the most of it.

The thought of death is my biggest fear. The idea that one day you are existing, full of feelings and ideas and interests and loves that suddenly is gone - ZAP - like That disturbs me. Where does all of that go....all of that energy which has made us what we are throughout our lives? It just disappears? That leads me to think....what the fuck is the point of life? Why are we here? Why bother? Why Bother? It means we are all insignificant no reasons for being. 9/11 made me....for lack of a better word....paralyzed when I thought of all those people that day. Going to work, stopping to get your coffee and bagel, then heading to your desk, and then....GONE. Have you ever heard the tapes of people calling for help, calling their loved ones to say goodbye? My God, the absolute fear and terror they all were feeling....What Was The Point?? They lived their lives to that point to have it end like THAT? Why Bother?? It has No Reason??

Exactly R86. Welcome to maturity. It all means nothing and we mean nothing. Now enjoy every day.

All were are is dust in the wind.

Even worse R86, some of them died horrific deaths and felt every moment of it.

Plunging 100 floors, burning in flames, choking on smoke, being crushed by the buildings....

Fucking hell.

I lived through 9/11. All I could think was - “I’ve seen this tragedy already and nobody seemed to care”. Thousands dead from AIDS in the prime of their life. But because it’s about “America”, they gets millions of dollars in compensation and glorified. AIDS followed by 9/11 - after that, if you hadn’t come to terms with the randomness and cruelty of death you weren’t paying attention. You’re lucky to have loved so long.

R27 Death worries me as much as the next person, but when I imagine being dead and being buried (natural burial of course) and "going back into the earth," I feel comforted! I don't know why, but I find it to be a nice thought. It's why I'd rather be buried than cremated. What good to ashes in a jar do?

I fully intend to be cremated R91 and NOT left "in a jar."

I'd like my ashes to be scattered in the ocean, near where I grew up.

Or, from whence I came, so to speak.

What r92 said, r91.

My ashes will be buried with no barrier between them and Earth.

Apparently human ashes aren't good for the earth. They can be harmful when placed too close to trees and plants!

[quote]R93 My ashes will be buried with no barrier between them and Earth.

Thank you, Nan Michiganwomyn.

Rarely do I think of it. I know it’s coming, and I hope it’s quick.

If by any chance I end up in a situation where I’m alone, and have no one as an elder, I pull a Thelma & Louise, but without Louise.

I’m a thrill seeker by nature, and for whatever reasons, don’t fear too much of anything, however, I do respect the lives of others. That said, if I’m 90, and alone? I could easily see myself off a cliff, thank you very much. Like a final thrill.

I think I’d like that.

lol, r95. I had that coming.

Della, I’ve been MARY!ed enough times to know that it’s a badge of both honor and derision.

True, r98.

Speaking of ashes, it's Ash Wednesday. I'm a non-believer, but the next 40 days or so provide a great window of time to forgo sweets.