Miss Dionne Warwick

To watch her talk-growl her hits?

No thanks.

"A Night of Class?"

Then why the hell is this bitch there?

I’m hoping Miss Warwick will chime in.

Klass.

Were her Psychic Friends Network nights of class too?

As soon as I put on my make-up.

I hate her voice

Those choppers make me nervous.

Promoter: "No, Miss Warwick, we can not call it 'A Night of Fucking Class!'"

I think I’ll Walk On By.

No me, Hussy!

"A Night of Aass"?

I don't really need to see her aass/ass. Maybe once it would have been nice, but not now.

Now, if it were A Night of Aass with Carter Dane or Michael Boston, I'd go. But not Dionne Warwick. That thing must be like cottage cheese by now.

I’ll be in San Jose.

I have condescended to take this tour to share my talents and those of Peabo and that other girl with a new generation of fans, and all those other generations, too, if they are still up to the trip to the theater. So shut the fuck up.

The ad copy says it all. Get your tickets now because they are selling like jj's the day after a legality vote and you already have to know there will be no re-funds.

Baby, I'm on top the stinking hill again!

I quote:

[quote]We Are Live Entertainment is proud to present for your enjoyment "A NIGHT OF CLASS" starring the incomparable DIONNE WARWICK. Come and enjoy some of the greatest talents ever as Ms. Warwick performs her many hit records. Also appearing with Dionne Warwick is Peabo Bryson and the multitalented Deniece Williams. Come out and allow yourself to be entertained by [bold]three of music's greatest talents of all time[/bold].

We were going to call it We Here Are Live Entertainment (WHALE) but decided to leave Patti out of it.

I saw her in the mid-1980s. It took her about 3 songs into the concert before she was able to get control of her voice.

In the 1990s, a coworker of mine saw her perform at Newark Symphony Hall. The Manhattan Transfer were the opening act. The group killed it. Dionne came out after the intermission and did her concert (with what my coworker called "that tiny little voice of hers") and when the show was over, it was obvious that at least a third of the show had already deserted her.

That was I at R14. I have been advised not to sign anything about it until the money comes in.

R16 is a lying devil.

Obviously.

I meant R15.

Or something simular.

Shit.

She's the mouse on The Masked Singer.

A night of classshhhhhhh

The best part of seeing Miss D at The Fabulous Fox will be the action in the men’s room downstairs and not the warbling act on the main stage.

I thought they had already embalmed her, if not they should.

R12 That is a very unfortunate font choice indeed. But somehow it's so fitting next to a photo of that miserable wench.

R22, I am tobacco-and-ganja-smoked-and tanned like a fine Corinthian leather. I re-quire no embalming and have saved money on my funeral plan, which is going to show Re as the cheap-ass piker she always was. Different shoes every day of the wake? Shit. Watch my toenail colors change with the day to match my outfits. And I won't be lying down. I shall be sitting, looking down on the masses of fans and the pay-for-play VIP mourners cavorting behind the black velvet ropes. With a big charity auction, lotto and bingo and blackjack for my Native American friends from all my SD gigs, and re-corded concerts.

If I can hold my breath long enough I'll get away with it. Ka-Fucking-Ching.

And, R23, I am so classy I do not need to make the work legible to dirty minds like yours and R12's. You COULD have read it to sound like "Ashhhhhs," but no. And in the middle of Black History Month, too. Shame.

Now I must re-hearse. ALL the big venues coming. Now Peabo just has to have that stroke and Niecy needs someone to slip her back into her "problem" and I'm a solo again.

So let me alone and I shall keep my voice marinating for perfection.

I love how it says "A Night of Class" next to a pic of Dionne talking loudly with a mouth full of food.

I eat my roaches, R25. It's better for the environment and the charcoal keeps my fabulous teeth bright and sharp.

Asshole.

Come on now. There's only a little over five months left and there's only 3945 seats left.

No thanks, but I'll say a little prayer for her.

I'm combing my hair and wondering what to wear to this crap-fest.

Is that fancy-typeface advertisement spelling out "A Night of Gass"?

What a stellar lineup of a bunch of broke ass hasbeens that lost their voices decades ago.

Dee-yawn is like a growing infection, and I don't know the correction.

Anita, how nice to hear from you. I'd know that little broken toad voice anywhere.

Especially when I see it coming from your fat little toad mouth in the fat little toad body.

How's your "retirement" going, 'Nita? You trade down to that studio in Detroit yet?

You've NEVER looked lovelier, bitch.

If the tickets aren’t expensive I might go. We don’t have many legends left

I saw Peabo a few weeks ago. His voice is as good as ever. He is seriously under rated

Now that I've addressed Anita "Baker's Dozen" Baker, I must let Diane know that some old fat drag queen is doing himself up like a clown and pretending to be she.

Isn't it sad that some people actually think it's the "real" (a word seldom used for you, Diane, as you know) you?

Well, I guess it do make a little sense. After all, this one was seen stealing money out of people's pockets and grabbing all the paper napkins from the hot dog stands in the area, just like you do.

Sad. Fucking sad.

Did she run out of dead relatives to take pictures of from their caskets?

A Night of Class with Dionne Warwick is like A Night of Truth with Kellyanne Conway or A Night of Cardio with Chrissy Metz.

Oh, the rag that paid off and shut up Trump's victims is playing a shit-ass high card?

How much did you pay the John Lennon and Elvis en slabbe photographer?

Oh, by the way, I do have a couple more shots of them trying to get the shoes on Re in the back room of the ghetto community center where they had her laid out. It got easier once they chopped those toes off.

Call me, assholes.

Oh, the rag that paid off and shut up Trump's victims is playing a shit-ass high card?

How much did you pay the John Lennon and Elvis en slabbe photographer?

Oh, by the way, I do have a couple more shots of them trying to get the shoes on Re in the back room of the ghetto community center where they had her laid out. It got easier once they chopped those toes off.

Call me, assholes.

Miss Warwick, when are you going to answer our calls?

I'm still big and classy.

It's the warm-ups who got small.

I love taking control of the marketing shit.

Dionne Warwick could never come for Diana. Miss Ross still tours, has MILLIONS in the bank, snagged a billionaire long enough to live her Stepford Wifes fantasy in her CT compound (she got to keep the house after the divorce). She has more number one hits on the Billboard Top 100 than anyone else from that era, with the exception of the Beatles, and people still know who the hell Diana is thanks to Dream Girls and her timeless Supreme tracks. Dionne and her flop show can seeth.

That's right. Miss Ross is still The Boss.

Dionne is like the regional manager.

Miss Dionne is not going to let the corona virus stop her bag.

Miss Warwick, have you ever thought that maybe you and I should go on tour together? Think of what that could do for both of our careers.

Diana Ross is remarkably talented and a groundbreaker. Her music stands on it's own, but not just her hits from the 1960s, but also the 1970s and 1980s. She's made really good music.

r46 that's a bit of a stretch with the 80s stuff, or we can say hit or very miss. Most people only care about her Motown catalogue, which includes her small comeback in the 90s that was released once again under the Motown label as subsidiary of one of the larger labels.

Well, she did sing ENDLESS LOVE, UPSIDE DOWN, I'M COMING OUT, WHY DO FOOLS FALL IN LOVE? In the 80s.

Don't forget 'Swept Away!" R48!

If you showed me the photo on that poster--the overexcited lady with short white hair and huge white teeth--I wouldn't know who it was. Dionne was never about excitement. She was about....cool. "Deja Vu." Now and forever, one of my top ten songs.

Are they gonna pass out the doobies?

No, Michael McDonald will not be appearing.

Oh, Christ on a Crapper.

Diane is the Donald of yesterday's music, always saying she did this and that when all it was was some man's hand up her Detroit Ditch puppeting her around. She never MADE anything. She never CREATED anything.

Except grief for others.

I am an active dee-signer and maker with my composers and arrangers. Burt and Hal always thanked me for my brilliant edits, and so has everyone else.

Shit.

Diane rich? Ha! She's broke and, again, just keeps the PR machine going. She's a lazy fat girl who wants to sit at home. She only goes out for the buck. She has no real fans. She has the people who have to fill the 23 hours a day when Lawrence Welk ain't on. And they all are white.

Ask Mary. Get a Ouija and ask Flo. Shit. NO ONE can stand her.

And she looks like a fucking frog.

No, Janet. I don't see us working together. But I'll take that football game nipple clamp. I can use it to cut off the ends of my blunts, like you used it to cut the dirty end off your career. Have you ever seen that baby of yours that Papa Joe gave you for Christmas back in the day? Yeah, that was some sweet mother of yours. Like something out of the Color Purple. Except he WAS your daddy.

I'm off to a red carpet somewhere. Oh, that's right. The Lady Hemorrhage Society fundraiser. I'll be in my rubber boots. Glittered.

For the people, giving as always.

bump

Dionne, or how I'd like to call you, The Nostrils of Newark, why do you continue to embarrass yourself on reality TV? I thought after becoming universally loathed after your stint on The Celebrity Apprentice, tap-dancing for that dictator who is unfortunately our president, you sunk to a new low on The Masked Singer, sounding completely unrecognizable. Are you a glutton for punishment?

A broke cunt with a stank attitude and no voice is not what a diva make!

Looks like it says, "A Night Of ass".

“I got your dentures, hussy!”