What would you do if you woke up one day and you were a homely 29-year-old woman?

Ask Tomi Lahren in two years.

Tomi isn't "homely"

R2, she'll look like Kellyanne pretty soon, so she will be.

I’d create an award-winning television show and call it Girls or Fleabag or something and rake in the cash for being a homely young woman who is brave enough to show off my homely naked self to adoring fans.

Just being able to lie on a pool table in a seedy straight bar and pull train whenever I wanted to would make up for being homely.

After getting over the fact that I'm a woman and my missing cock I'd get a makeover buy new clothes and go hunting for men. There's a whole lot of men who don't care what you look like once you turn off the lights - they just want to fuck. Short answer: I'd make the most of it.

I'd go out and start finding hot straight guys to fuck. Since being a homely woman doesn't seem to be a handicap in grabbing that straight dick.

Cradle a mug and start watching some Hallmark Christmas movies.

Head to the nearest, largest straight bar in my neighborhood ASAP before it all vanishes. Sad gay men never understand how the homely can attract the horny. Oh my cunt is so moisttttttttttt now.....

R5 Well, what do you know, I'm lying on a pool table rn!!!!

This pool table talk is prohibiting my plans for sleeping.

Continue, please. Elaborations welcomed.

29 is oddly specific.

I'd marry Matthew Broderick.

OP, you're knocking on 30, time to lower your standards and find an equally homely man.

Go to a frat house and let all the hot frat bros gangbang me.

Not if I get to the altar first, R13.

Race ya!

R14 thanks, the tears were already flowing (mostly thanks to whiskey)

You can do it, R17/OP. There's a lid for every pot as they say and I doubt you're really all that homely.

Ok, call me a Buzzkill Bob but..

I’m assuming this is a troll thread and the premise is that the body is swapped but not the mind - given that females with natural working brains of their own do not want trains run on them, unless they are being handsomely paid and they have no other alternative way to make good money.

Most healthy non-traumatised women prefer partners they can at least identify by name (yes, even the sluts) and usually aren’t highly promiscuous beyond HS/College by choice either (at least, not on the level of gay men). The women that do love sex or work in the sex trade (and therefore spread it around to hundreds of men into their ‘30s) are unfairly looked down upon as damaged & retarded. Or they’re assumed to be a junky.

The homely, basic, non-famous hetero women of this age who has no serious psych issues aims to settle with a schlub into comfortable safe monogamy, in preparation to birth crotchfruit with ripe eggs. A small percentage of self-supporting women in this group choose or resign to spinsterdom or finally decide to come out of the closet (the LIL Lesbians). The broke unfortunate souls may be forced to do porn or bed-hop or babyfarm to stay fed.

So if one of you animals turned into a 29-year old plain Jane, you’d be more likely to end up a) married to an even plainer male counterpart (a Brau, perhaps) and knocked up with his seed in short order (tick tock!), b) alone with cats & erotic fanfiction for comfort, or c) hopping into bed with a soft-butch for the very first time and loving it. That’s if you were lucky.

R19 Jesus, you're tedious as fuck.

I'd be a high class hooker, entertaining travelling business men in my tastefully decorated downtown apartment.

R21 homely, nearly-30 women don't become "high-class hookers."

Wig, make-up, turn down the lights and ta-da...straight men just want the pussy.

LoL!!

I can’t imagine how raw my pussy would be from overuse. I’d earn every comment and dirty limerick about me on the men’s room wall. I’d have no problem wearing a bag on my head if the line of fraternity boys requested it.

Yes, pool table train is the way to go.

Ask the Chalamet cunt fucks.

[quote] and usually aren’t highly promiscuous beyond HS/College by choice either (at least, not on the level of gay men).

Wow! Stereotype much?

This was the premise of a show a few years called Drop Dead Diva about a blonde beauty queen who died and came back to life in the body of a big fat 29 year old woman.

I would ASK for the MANAGER!!!

R29

And homely, poor thing.

LOTS of hot straight dick and LOTS of abortions

By the standards of the media and fashion industry any woman over 24 is by definition homely.

homely fat, or homely thin?

Stop trolling Datalounge

I would enjoy being Carole Radziwill

Finally take my sister up on that pesky Coscto family membership plan she's been trying to sell me on for the last few years!

Begin to buy from the Caitlyn Jenner Collection.

I'd buy some peroxide and a pair of tits. Str8 men are too easy.

Join Nutrisystem!

OMG - that means I have to un-retire!

I would decorate my cubicle with family photos.

Go back to sleep.

Become a Socialist and run for Congress, of course!

I would get myself some big silicone tits and a tubal ligation, a little bungalow with a front porch across the from the football practice field Ohio State, and a kimono that just won't stay closed. Then I would watch football practice and serve lemon-ade to the team when practice is over.

It would not take long before what happens happened. Then I would build on that success.

I'd fake a love for jesus, find a church in a wealthy zip code, marry the wealthiest older conservative fuck I could find, sit back for a few years then help him go to the lord. Repeat.

Ah, but if you do it right, r46, there’s no reason to repeat.

R5, wore it best. I'm a little sad that so many of you can't get treated like the cum dumps you want to be.

By logic, you all must be less sexually attractive than a 29 yo homely woman. Though, I'm lucky to live in a 24/7 hot dick available neighborhood. I could show you a number of benches where you could present hole and take loads all night long. Believe me, after 1,000 loads or so, it gets old.

I've had it up to here AND here with hot dick,

I hope the homely women reading this thread are learning a little something.

[quote] I'm a little sad that so many of you can't get treated like the cum dumps you want to be. By logic, you all must be less sexually attractive than a 29 yo homely woman.

The point is that we would suddenly have access to millions more horny straight men who were previously unavailable. Men who are reasonably good looking but less selective when they have the need to breed.

LOL r49. I don't know why that stuck me so funny. My husband came in and I was crying (we're awaiting sad news) and he went back outside. I should probably go tell him.

Serious answer- 1. I would be happy to be 29. 2. Make the best of what I have- Makeover, big tits. 3. Re-watch A League of Their Own. 4.I'd be sad to lose my dick, but I would be grateful to still reap the benefits of my skin tone. 5. Marry a rich immigrant for citizenship.

R19, I hear ya.

But just an fyi: as a woman, I’ve fantasized about getting gang-banged. True, I never have been, never want to be. I have actually been monogamous or celibate for most of my life, though my late teens and early 20s were “interesting”. I never had hang ups about sex, and enjoy it, a lot.

Which brings me to this point: though I’m picky as fuck, and choosy, I, like many other women, like most women, in fact, objectify men, just like men objectify us. We are whores, darling. The difference being, that we are trained early on to deny it, suppress it, and find one partner, and stick to him. Straight men? Even gay men? Nope. They get to play the field, while we wait for love and marriage, and increasingly, divorce.

Women who deny their animal like instincts are not at fault. Most have no idea it even exists, or hide it. Some get married, even to men who don’t sexually satisfy them. That’s a real shame.

Also, though I did come from a dysfunctional background, sexual abuse was a very tiny blip in my childhood. Someone started grooming me, touched me inappropriately several times, and I spoke out. What traumatized me more, was the reaction certain people in my family had, which was basically that as an 8 year old, I was a slut. Sad, but fuck ‘em. I look back now, and I’m so freakin’ proud of that little girl who always had the courage to speak up when shit was wrong.

And that’s kinda why I’m responding to you. It’s not that you’re wrong, it’s that as women, we are taught that a gangbang is wrong. Is it? Personally, I don’t think so, & I betcha at least 1K, a bunch of women secretly agree. Men are also taught that we women are “not okay”, if our desire for sex is similar to theirs. Sad, because straight and gay men would probably have better relationships with women in general, if they didn’t insist on stigmatizing casual sex for “good girls”, or even insist upon the existence of “good girls”.

“Good girls” were created by men, not women. Look at how Adam went in on Eve. This shit’s old as time.

[quote] Hetero Anthropology Professor

WTF are you doing here? We’re not a sample size for any of your ‘projects’ like circus sideshow freaks.

R53, he/she was, um, probably kidding?

I would hope you’re right, r54, but based on the contents of her post I doubt it.

If I could do it all over again, I'd fuck my dad, THEN take the money AND run.

[quote] “Good girls” were created by men, not women.

R52, agree with most of what you wrote until you said that. 100% untrue. Men couldn't care less, it's women who created that distinction.

You think so, R57?

Adam blames Eve for enticing him to take a bite of the apple. Cultures or more aptly, religious cultures insist women be covered from head to toe, based on a book called the Quran, and when Jesus challenged those without sin to throw the first stone, it was because they were about to stone a woman of alleged ill repute.

The Bible and the Quran were written by men, and profoundly shape social norms, up to present time.

You might be right, but I will agree to disagree.

I guess I'd have to begin scrapbooking hobby.

I would become a transman and I would annoy gay men who refused to fuck me

"I am the virtuous and deserving wife, while you are nothing but any man's whore!"

That's all about women getting ahead by holding other women down. They do it all the time.

I'd join a Jane Austen fan club and travel to all the conventions. I'd decorate my place with reproduction Regency furniture and spend my time drooling over draperies while I make my pick.

I'd take my phone and join the crowd looking for Pokemon in park.

I'd dye a portion of my hair bright blue, get some tight black jeans and goth tops, pierce my nose, and get a job at Hot Topic.

Then I'd have high tea with my friends at the local Victorian style tea cafe on Sundays.

Massive gangbang for horse-hung straight bros.

I would cash in on all the free shit that women get. Free booze, dugs, dinner, jewelery etc. I would strip online for cash. Essentially I would take advantage of the fact that I can get away with most anything I want and make a decent living doing as little as possible. I would also get my tubes tied as soon as I could afford it. Wouldn't want to fuck with my sugar daddy procuring potential.

I would excercise two hours everyday. If you put the work into your body it will look good.

I would buy some big fake boobies.

Get a total hot clothing makeover. Wear subtle sexy stripper clothes and tasteful pink high heels.

Learn how to do makeup. There are so many hideous makeup women on YouTube who go from a 2 to an 8 all because of countouring and make up.

Get my teeth straight and white.

Get my hair beautiful, long and red.

Then go on lots of dates from sugar baby sites and let the rich straight guys fuck me and support my lifestyle. They can keep me in an apartment and I will have sex whenever they want.

The End

As. I. Type.

R66 I take it you missed the "homely" part?

R34 homely thin (with no T & A).

[quote] I would also get my tubes tied as soon as I could afford it. Wouldn't want to fuck with my sugar daddy procuring potential.

But then you miss out on all the child support checks.

The only responsibility anyone has is to make the best of what they have.

R52, Having played cum dump,I would think that regardless of desire/judgment, it's a safety issue. Any woman who puts herself in a porno type situation would be at a huge risk. Men are stupid and half don't know the difference between porn and real life. Trips to the ER are a huge turn off.

I saw some granny gang bang porn, Old Jewish ladies getting fucked by broward county, rough trade. She's done 6 gang bangs. Every time she does one she gets a new tattoo. Once you go schwartza you never go back. Good for her.

I was going to post a clip, but decided against it.

Been there, done that, and I'M STILL HERE.

[quote] R66 I take it you missed the "homely" part

R69, that’s not the only thing he missed.

[quote] I would cash in on all the free shit that women get. Free booze, dugs, dinner, jewelery etc.

I hope you’d take advantage of the free education.

R70 then you still have a ton of options. only the fat homely are truly screwed in our society.

you still have a chance to become exceptionally dressed and expertly witty/dryly sardonic.

go quirky until you can't play that anymore (to obviously "Middle Aged") then bring it back for your elderhood.

I'd follow my intellectual passion and be awarded a MacArthur Fellowship while leading a rich and rewarding life..

I'd die, I tell you I'd simply die!!!

[quote] only the fat homely are truly screwed in our society.

As fat women on DL point out, even at the lowest point at the bottom of the barrel, there are still some men who have sex with fatties.

R74, I would still have to pay tuition. Wouldn't be able to get out of that. And homely doesnt matter; straight guys fuck pretty much anything it seems.

Look for glorious cut cock to fuck me in every hole

I would come to Datalounge to cyberstalk Henry Cavill, Meghan and Harry.