Who's the Hottest Culkin Brother? Or, Which Would You Bang?

Ooops. Forgot Rory in the poll. Shit.

Which one's the long-hair?

Rory has the long hair. Wish he'd cut it. He has a nice mouth.

Yeah, Rory.

Kieran is a hot douchebag on Succession

Mac is currently dating a serial beard. Mac really screamed gay but I always thought he was straight. I realize now that actors go to great lengths to make these fake relationship look real. The reason he never snitched on michael was that he liked being molested.

Given his track record, I think it's very likely Mac was diddled.

My guess is that he received a quiet settlement that would be null and void if he ever tattled.

I still think Michael Jackson hated sex altogether, and that if Macaulay was molested it was likely by some Hollywood higher-up his dad pimped him out to in exchange for roles. And don’t forget they were raised Catholic.

Nevertheless, one question remains: If the father cost him work, then how come his other siblings kept working?

They're all fucking hideous. That pic at R4 is scary af

I always thought Mac looked hot as a nasty drug addict. Daddy!

I’d like the Vivian Vance option, please.

Kieran is the only one who can somewhat blend in with human society.

Whomever is on the left in OP’s pic

I’d fuck him in his good eye’til both were at half-mast

It's weird... they've all got their phases. There was a period when Mac was adorable, but then that abruptly went away. There was also a time when Rory was easily the cutest, but I haven't seen him recently, so who knows? I'm not all that attracted to Keiran, the most talented of the brothers, though every once in a while on Succesion his ass'll grab my eye, but he's remained the most visually consistent throughout time, if that makes sense.

I'll bang Rory though, cause my memory of his looks is hotter than his brothers.

They all look like they have a touch of Down's.

They are monstrous. Almost approaching Willis daughters level fug.

I hate to admit it, but I'm struggling to get it up for any of them.

Ancient Slovenian secret: tell me which brother has most money and I tell you which brother is most hottest. #BeBest, gays!

I think they're decent looking. The hipster styling they choose to subscribe to does them no favors.

OP is worse than Kit Culkin.