Long Hollywood Marriages

The secret is to be married to the right Dude.

People need to support one another not compete with one another. People need to be thoughtful of one another not self-centered and self absorbed. People need to be generous and patient. They need to share similar goals. They need to agree 80% of the time on how to discipline and raise kids...if they even want kids. I'd say it's the same as for everyone else, but for actors those things a re often hard to come by.One thing I have noticed about relationships over time, is that one person tends to be the "leader" and the other the follower. Now this may switch from one to the other depending on a situation, but over all there is going to be the one person who is the lead horse and one the sidekick.It's important. Everyone has their strengths in different areas. It's got to balance.

Oh, I forgot. One more thing. Trust and respect. YOu don't go into a relationship hoping to change someone. So respect them and their individuality. AndTrust: Don't be insecure. Have enough confidence in yourself, that you can trust the other person, and also as a trust issue: be honest about the important things. Oh, and don't be negative or divisive.

Maybe it works better mostly if one is not in the industry?

Aww, that story about Jeff Bridges is sweet. I never knew who he was married to.

Yes. And I think LA is toxic for marriages. Just my wacky theory.

I’ve only heard nice things about Bacon and Sedgwick.

Kyra Sedgwick looks like she will cut a bitch if she messes with Kevin.

It has been known for years that Kevin was a cheater. Maybe he has changed. Yes, they're together but the road has not been smooth. I guess another requirement has to be to look the other way.

Source R7?

The secret to a long marriage is to let your hubby hit on every masseur he meets, while keeping your mouth shut about it

Open marriage.

Maybe R10 or just communication and honesty. I'm not one of those people who does not automatically assume everyone in a long term couple is in open marriages, swinging or bearding.

Ask Will and Jada!

Or Hugh and Deb!

Who are Hugh and Deb?

Denzel is also a cheater.....

R13 must be new.

Hugh Jackman and Deborra-Lee Furness, aka a boy and his beard.

I'd forgotten about them R15. Yes, Hugh is gay.

Let your husband's "assistant" live with you

Kevin Bacon definitely cheats or they have an open relationship. He came onto a female friend of mine a few years ago on the UWS. A bit creepy.

R18 well he's great at playing creeps so that doesn't surprise me.

No one's happier than us!

Both gay

Jerry stiller and ann meara were married for 61 years

Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Brad Hall

Rosalind Russell, one of my heroes from Old Hollywood, and her husband were married 35 years. And she passed relatively young. They were known as being very happy and joyful. Two class acts.

The WASPs (ex, Sedgwick/Bacon) know how to DADT. I love my people.

What do we consider “long?” This being Hollywood, we’re grading on a curve here.

LLoyd and Dorothy Bridges were married more than 59 years.

Anne Bancroft and Mel Brooks - 41 years

Veronique and Gregory Peck - This had to be one of the best-looking couples in Hollywood ever.

Martin Landau and Barbara Baindivorced in '93 after 35 years of marriage. Neither remarried. She is now 88.

30 replies and no Goldie Hawn/Kurt Russell?

r31 Perhaps because they're NOT MARRIED?

Robert and Rosemarie Stack (23 January 1956 - 14 May 2003).

This just in, Jeff Bridges continues to be awesome.

What does DADT mean" And, yes, I Googled it. TIA.

Ricardo Montalban, married to Loretta Young's sister for 63 years (until her death.)

George Burns and Gracie Allen: 38 years (until her death)

Ozzie and Harriet Nelson: 40 years (until his death)

Oh come on R32. If that isn't a poster child for marriage I don't know what is, even if they aren't legally married.

I'm sure they've been asked the question though (and I'm too lazy to google it). I wonder why?

Russell has probably had the more successful career over the decades, but I doubt he has obscenely more more money than her. They could of course not care, and you can of course "replicate" the legal protections of marriage through other means.

Seems like it would be easier just to get married.

Don't Ask, Don't Tell (I think), R35.

Don Ameche and Honore Prendergast (6 December 1932 - 5 September 1986). She has no listings on IMDb, so non-Hollywood.

Thank you R38!

Yes, R28! Ann Bancroft once recounted how she couldn't stay mad at Mel because he'd always make her laugh. Once during a heated argument, it looked like Mel was rearing back to hit her. She exclaimed, “You can't hit me; my face is my INSTRUMENT!” He said, “Oh yeah? Let me hear it play Melancholy Baby!” And she broke up (in a good way).

Tom Selleck and Jillie Mack.

Wait ´till you´r both in your 50ies- then you are too old and lazy for that cheating shit.

with love Babs & Jim Brolin

Charles Boyer and Pat Paterson. Married for 44 years; he committed suicide two days after her death.

Charles Boyer married a gay wrestler?!

Mel Brooks and Anne Bancroft was one of those seemingly “odd couples” who ended up complimenting each other so well. I LOVED them together and I would be so sad if I ever found out that it wasn’t a real love story.

Pierce Brosnan and his wife Keely.

Is Selleck still with Jillie Mack? Is she a phantom or made up woman because I don't think I've ever seen a pic of her.

Pierce must love Keely because she got huge.

Suzanne Somers and Alan Hamel. Married 42 years, together over 50.

5th Baron and Lady Haden-Guest, 34 years

Sam Elliott and Katherine Ross, 34 years

Hume Cronyn and Jessica Tandy, 52 years

Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson: 31 years

Michael J. Fox and Tracy Pollan: 31 years

Meryl Streep and Don Gummer: 41 years

Iman and David Bowie: 26 years (until his death)

Dan Aykroyd and Donna Dixon, 36 years

Paul Newman Joanne Woodward 50 years until his death

Kirk and Anne Douglas, 66 years

Dolly Parton and Carl Dean - 53 yrs.

R39. I seem to remember an interview with Don Ameche where when talking about his long marriage (I assume this was after his wife died) he said "It was not a good marriage."

Sorry, I don't remember where I saw it, but it was startling to hear his say it so directly.

^^ him say it

Don Ameche and his wife were separated the last 18 years of her life.

Ernest Borgnine and Ethel Merman

Many marriages are all about "the devil you know."

[Quote] Pierce must love Keely because she got huge.

Yes, it's so amazing that Pierce isn't a shallow asshole 🙄

Bob and Dolores Hope 1934-2003. He cheated a lot.

Richard Benjamin and Paula Prentiss

Dolores Hart and Jesus Christ

Compliment him on his "art" and never mention that it looks like a toddler's doodling.

I really don't know if their are any marriages in Hollywood that work.I used to think Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis had a happy marriage but looked how that turned out.Maybe we're too easily taken in by the people who spin the celebrities image.

Lauren Bacall and Humphrey Bogart seemed to know the secret formula.I loved those two together.

Think a lot of celebrities just want to meet somebody normal..Someone who lives a life that is the opposite of theirs.Look at Ed Sheeran,he married a girl from his school.It's really hard for celebrities to meet normal girls though.

r48: I saw Selleck and Jillie Mack together in a movie theater line about 20 or 25 years ago. He was still really good looking still and very tall with a big head. One of the few movie stars who is as tall as he says he is. And she was about a foot shorter and very petite with dark hair. So even if they're bearding, which I have no idea about, they go to the movies together. Hope that helps LOL.

[quote] R61: Ernest Borgnine and Ethel Merman

R61 is joking. I think they were married for a day before she filed for divorce.

[quote]Lauren Bacall and Humphrey Bogart seemed to know the secret formula.

What, cheating on each other?

The question should be what makes lavender marriage last. Terror of being outed.

A real straight movie star would act something like Mel Gibson. The women get younger as he gets older. The fighting is bloody and embarrassing. David letterman kind of embarrassing. I'm waiting for Conan O'Brien to make a fool if himself.

I think lavender or white marriages can work if the spouses are friends. These occurred in aristocratic and society families long before Hollywood was invented.

>

You can always rely on someone on Datalounge to come along and rain on your parade:) I didn't know that.Were their a lot of rumours of that kind?How about Spencer Tracey and Katherine Hepburn?They seemed to have it made

The quote hasn't worked.I was replying to R71

R75 classic lavender marriage. Tracey Hepburn

Charles Boyer is the only classic star I have heard no cheating stories about. There was even more fucking around in those days than there is today

Frances Dee and Joel McCrea were married for 57 years. She filed for divorce three times but never went through with it

Kevin Kline and Phoebe Cates. And I’m pretty sure that’s not a lavender one either.

James Cagney and his wife.

Mel Brooks was recently promoting a Blu-Ray box set of Anne Bancroft's most notable movies. It was really sweet. You can tell how much he loved and still misses her.

Bob and Ginnie Newhart, still married after 56 years.

R75 I’m pretty sure Tracy was gay and bearding. Less sure about Hepburn, weren’t there lez rumors about her?

R80 Kevin Kline sure gives off a gay vibe. She mentioned on a talk show that she thought he was gay because he was in theatre. Both Jewish?

R79 3 times?? I read only one time. Any details?

"Charles Boyer is the only classic star I have heard no cheating stories about."

Never heard any stories about Cagney, Irene Dunne, or Roz Russell, cheating on their spouses either

Forgot to mention Patrick Swayze and his wife when I posted(when he was still around)They seemed deeply in love.Anyone know anything about them?

Mary Steenburgen and Ted Danson!!

So this turned into naming celebs that have either been married or living together for more than 10 years. Lol!

You have to have lots in common. Share similar values, and REALLY like each other, because there will be “moments”, when you wanna GTFO.

And there it is... you make a decision to do it, and stay married. You talk everyday, about anything and everything, and communicate, a LOT. Meaning, don’t hold back on discussions that have the potential to be difficult.

And for me, that sums it up. You stay. No one’s ever gonna be perfect, including you. Understand this, and hang on, no matter what.

Oh, and don’t forget to laugh, and fuck as much as possible. Those things seem to help quite a bit, so I’ve heard.

R90 I think your advice is great for the average couple, but not so sure about celebrities (where anything goes).

R91, no. It works for celebrities too. Being a celebrity happens because you work in entertainment or in another position that is high profile. All it means is that you are highly recognized for doing your job.

Being a celebrity doesn’t make one exempt from good, old fashioned common sense. Regardless of profession, marriage is marriage. Spouses or partners make their own rules within their specific marriage. Both have to delineate those rules out, and agree to follow them in partnership. That applies to all relationships that are successful, regardless of celebrity or non-celebrity couples.

JMHO.

Is Ted danson gay? Have not heard gay rumours. Straight actors are so rare ( if non-existent)

Reply 90,thanks for the pep talk,Oprah.Seriously though..you do make some good points.Do you work in the industry?maybe you're even in the public eye in some form

Does anyone know anything about Patrick Swayze and his wife?Lol.I want to know as they seemed good together.This is DA so we make up the rules as we go along.

I managed to stay married for a whole week!

Sorry to hear about your ordeal PA.Did you get the shakes after 3 days?

I don’t think Danson is gay but that affair with Whoopi Goldberg did raise a huge flag...

R97 Whoopi was an affair??

oh yeah...and it was bizarre and tabloid fodder...especially when they showed up at the Friars Club with Ted in blackface

I remember the blackface incident pissed off a lot of people back then. I think if a celeb couple pulled off something like that today it would have been a bigger scandal due to social media.

Vilma Banky and Rod La Rocque.

Their marriage managed to transcend not only the decades but also the advent of talking pictures!

R25 You'll have to come up with a better example to prove your theory. Sedgwick is Jewish, not a WASP.

[quote]R68 Lauren Bacall and Humphrey Bogart seemed to know the secret formula.

She was half his age, and he was Hollywood royalty?

Wasn’t she fucking Sinatra while Bogie was dying?

I doubt it. She knew which side her bread was buttered on. And Wasn’t going to screw up any looming inheritance....

[Quote] . I think if a celeb couple pulled off something like that today it would have been a bigger scandal due to social media.

Without question.

R94, funny you should ask, because I can tell you that those two were in it to win it.

As Swayze was known to say” Eatin’ ain’t cheatin’!”

The key to a long marriage is either you can keep your 11” cock rock solid hard all night...

or you learn the skillful art of how win an argument.

I lived with a Jewish grandmother for several years before meeting my husband.

Whilst not married Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell have been together a lot longer than the average Hollywood couple.Around 37 years.

Thanks for the link to Don Gummer’s work, I’d never seen it before. It’s actually not bad.

What is Ed Schlossberg up to these days?

Richard Widmark was married to his college sweetheart, Jean Hazelwood, for 55 years until her death in 1997.

He once told an interviewer that he had never been unfaithful or even flirted with other women because ‘I happen to like my wife a lot.’

Bacon isn't really famous. He hasn't had a hit in years and let's face it, more people know him from the "Bacon Number Game," then his movies now.

Bacon has been shilling a mobile network provider in the UK for years now. People here probably know him mostly from that now. I would link to an advert but they are all toe-curlingly awful. Money must be good.

Like a lot of women (and men) who want to hold onto their relationships, Goldie puts up with Kurt's fucking around. Poor thing

It's a shame The Following wasn't a better show. It just went off the rails so quickly. Probably put Bacon off from doing another series.

And I just assumed Kurt/Goldie had an open relationship.

Not yet quite 20 years together, but Conan O'Brien and his wife seem really happy and not a hint of scandal. I know someone who's worked with him since the Late Show and followed him west and said he's the greatest guy.

R116 yeah, Conan is straight. It's odd how easy it is to tell. Andy is gay. Andy could be quite good looking if he ate right. His wife is the polar opposite of trophy wife. Looks like rob Lowe's wife. So many good looking gay men having ugly children.

Have noticed that reply 90 has evaded my question about whether they work in the industry.Gah.

"Eatin ain't cheatin"is very uh..descriptive.Reply 107,are you the same person as reply 90?

It seems marriages go strong in Hollywood as long as anything goes offduty.Maybe this thread should be about monogamous marriages instead.I bet there's precisely none.

A reminder that none of you have any idea what is going on inside these marriages. Hollywood marriages require the appearance of monogamy and love in public and behind the scenes, each couple has their own dynamic.

When you have one or both spouses spending months of the year on location, both have more money than they know what to do with, and often maintaining multiple residences (on the same property or in different cities), the concept of marriage becomes something different. I'm sure some of these couples barely function as a couple for long stretches. You just dont know. But unlimited finances helps a great deal. You know people want to be together when either COULD leave without worrying about support or their children's futures.

Sissy Spacek and Jack Fisk - 45 years married and had been together for two years prior to that.

R117, Andy's dad is gay. Unlike Conan, who seems to run hot and cold in almost a bipolar fashion, Andy seems really nice on a regular basis.

Christine Lahti and Tommy Schlamme, over 30 years.

[Quote] A reminder that none of you have any idea what is going on inside these marriages. Hollywood marriages require the appearance of monogamy and love in public and behind the scenes, each couple has their own dynamic.

Good thing we're allowed gossip about it.

Matthew Modine will be married 40 years this year to Caridad Modine.

Michael Caine has been married to Shakira Caine since January 1973 that makes 47 years.

Why do so many gay actors marry dark skinned women. Odd.

Kevin Bacon probably does those ads because Bernie Madoff cleaned him and Kyra out, R113. I completely forgot about The Following, wasn't there another show on around the same time with a male movie star gone to TV and a similar title? The Blacklist maybe?

And I too remember reading somewhere that Bacall was banging SInatra in a downstairs bedroom while Bogie was dying upstairs, but I can't remember where so take that with a grain of salt I guess.

[Quote] , wasn't there another show on around the same time with a male movie star gone to TV and a similar title? The Blacklist maybe?

James Spader is the lead in The Blacklist.

R126 bogie was gay. I imagine Bacall was too.

I love this thread. Can I just say I love it? I love it.

Bogie was gay? I never heard that one. Not even on DL (and I've been around here for a while).

Every man on Earth is gay, according to the DL.

R131. That is not true. Most top singers and actors are gay and yet dl only thinks about 10 percent are gay. Lance Armstrong and Rob lowe are gay. Nobody on dl recognizes that. Mist don't even know that Brad Pitt is gay.

Can understand to an extent why monogamy isn't high on the list in Hollywood as it is kind of a self contained world that outsiders don't fully understand.I guess also when everybody around you is sleeping around too it becomes almost normal.Maybe when you first start out in the industry you have high ideals and a certain code and those quickly get forgotten or distorted.I think my main issue is the holyier than thou attitude that a lot of actors and actresses have.Most people in Hollywood have colourful life whether they want to admit it or not.

Reply 118

have a colourful life that is

R102 She is half WASP and half Jewish. She is related to the late Edie Sedgwick whose family is WASP royalty.

MARY! R135!

Congrats to all of our gays winning awards tonight, and special thanks to their beards, kids, pets and boyfriends.

Kurt and Goldie have had an open relationship for years. That works for some. My parents were friends with Steve Parker. He was the husband of Shirley Maclaine. They had a very open relationship most of the marriage and it worked for them. Not living in LA helps a lot.

Lavender marriages are usually open but if you get caught often like Travolta it blows up unless one spouse is a civilian without career to protect

R132, DL doesn’t think 10% are gay. We think EVERYONE is gay, until proven otherwise.

We have discussed all of your examples on here, repeatedly, and we know what’s up with them all.

What you are missing here, is that we’re being polite and discreet. Some of these people deserve professional courtesy, and have others in their lives, who do as well.

Lance? Fuck him. But the other two? Why blow them up? They’re not closeted here, that’s for sure.

"We think EVERYONE is gay, until proven otherwise."

There are some DLers who swear that EVERYONE is gay, and that every seemingly hetero relationship is a fauxmance, but there are people who do the opposite - they dismiss ALL gay rumors as wishful thinking, believe ALL celebrity romances are on the up and up, etc.

R140, let’s just call it even or split the difference, yes?

John Gavin and Connie Towers were married for 44 years when he died in 2018.

We all appreciate the physical, mental and lustful beauty of others of the same sex. That's where it must get tricky for some of these -I'm straight dammit- people. That pinch-O-gay has to fuck with some heads. There is gay in every human. Some just more than others. Some act on it, some just try hard to squash it from their minds. If people would be open and accept there is gay in everyone it would be a much more pleasant world.

R143. Wishful thinking

Most married couples in Hollywood have a "don't ask, don't tell" agreement or the woman looks the other way. A small percentage are actual swingers. Truly monogamous celebrity marriages are truly rare.