Classy ways to end a meal

How rich and cultured are they, OP?

Believe me, most people would rather have a big piece of cake over some cheese and crackers.

Climb up on the table and present hole, like the whore you are, dear.

Most people like pie.

Cheese and fruit only if you KNOW they enjoy things French. Ask you husband what would please his parents. Pleasing them will impress them.

Lemon pound cake.

Coffee, cigarettes, whisky, broken chocolate.

Purging.

Serve sushi over your naked body, people love that kind of thing.

Baked fruit - like baked pears with a drizzle of chocolate or vanilla sauce.

[quote]people love that kind of thing

yes, that's going to impress the in-laws...with a strategically placed banana

Good r10. Classy yet not too European.

Lift one's leg and fart loudly.

r10 "Drizzles" never impress.

Well r14, you’ll never impress them anyway. Nobody is good enough for the inlaw’s son.

You could have Sue Ann Nivens make them Veal Prince Orloff and have Martha Stewart bake them pie and they’d find fault. All you can do is smile and be pleasant.

Don't bother. Just serve whatever they're used to and keep it simple. Heaven forbid, don't serve them something they've never had before. And don't even try to copy something your MIL is known for. Fly under the radar as best you can is my advice. I tried to impress with my ex in-laws and it only ended in tears (mine).

If you want to impress, you have to do the entremet.

Good luck!

Wouldn't you know what they like from the one you married?

Go out to eat. You’ll be nervous and screw it up.

Nothing pleases your host more than loud belch with a little discharge of the main course.

R14 ‘ Drizzles" never impress’, of course not. You want a full blown god damn fountain.

Dairy Queen has an ice cream cake that is elegant and easy to serve.

R3 A discrete and tasteful presentation of hole never fails to impress.

Blackout Cake!

If you know your entremet would turn out, why not? It's not something I would do when I'm meeting someone—anyone—for the first time, but if it's something that's easy for you, why not?

Just don't use the word "classy."

If you know your entremet would turn out, why not? It's not something I would do when I'm meeting someone—anyone—for the first time, but if it's something that's easy for you, why not?

Just don't use the word "classy."

Hamberders!

Jell-O, but let’s make sure that it is stepped up a notch and holiday themed. No just plain boring jello. Let’s make sure that it is green jello with red maraschino cherries in it and prepared in a mold in the shape of a wreath. And please don’t forget to adorn the top with healthy sized dollops of cool whip.

You must do the dance "Eagle Rock" very slowly and carefully which any sophisticated person will know to be a sign the evening is over.

OP, I think you misspelled it. It's spelled Entenmann's. And personally, I'd go with the donuts because at least they can choose from a variety. Not everyone likes chocolate or powdered.

A slice of carrot or chocolate cake with coffee.

R29, I think you were joking, but that sounds good!

Nice and light. Vintage desserts are so trendy now. Like confetti cake.

If they are not driving, end with booze - a cutesy creme, gin, vodka, bourbon, and then a nice whiskey. I’m not drinking, but Famous Grouse always completes a good meal. Or a bad one.

I find that having my houseboy play a fanfare on mother’s old organ as I roll out a large margarine fountain never fails to impress.

With it, I serve a selection of Aldi’s finest berries along with cubes of Dollar Tree pound cake which I spear on unused pencils bearing my phone and fax numbers. Oh, the looks of delight on my guests’ faces when I tell them the pencils are theirs to keep!

When I’m entertaining an all-lesbian crowd: bread pudding.

Fruit and cheese for dessert sounds sophisticated, but most people would rather have anything else, including a Hostess cupcake.

Espresso.

An individual dollop of Cool Whip flung into each of their open pie holes should suffice.

Only white trash would use aerosol Redi-Whip.

The best way to impress them would to try and not be such a pretentious twit.

ahem.

If you go with R41's solution, you don't have to worry about the fat or carbohydrate content.

This thread has me cracking up.

I think OP should jump out of a cake

Not suggesting this, but it was something I enjoyed: after a dinner in an Indian restaurant, we were offered a little bowl of sugared fennel seeds. (Fennel aids digestion and freshens breath.)

This was years ago, and this thread reminded me.

A Minnie Mouse cake would be a fun dessert. Just try to make it look like the one on the left, rather than the other two.

I'll shared something with you, OP, that one of my mother's blood-blood friends used to say, and that's "Classy people don't use the word 'classy.'"

There are an abundance of synonyms such as "smart," a favorite of the British Royal Family's, and "sophisticated," for starters.

How about a nice princess cake?

A bundt cake is a simple but very classy option. The shape adds to the specialness.

R47 The Minnie in middle and on the right appears to be bulimic.

Why are you wasting your thoughts and energy on trying to impress your in-laws? You must know by now you will NEVER be good enough for their son.

In the traditional multi-course "service a la Russe" dinner, the fruit-snd-cheese course comes AFTER the dessert!

So the correct answer, OP, straight from Miss Manners, is "have both".

I’m inspired. Here are adult family members planning to eat and complete a meal together. How often does that happen?

It may never happen again for this family if OP's dessert isn't sufficiently classy.

Tacky for having sold as classy, but surprisingly tasty.

Ahem. Shove them shits down our fuckin gullet immediately, R56.

Avoid corn chowder for guests, it gives a lot of people the squirts.

r56, that's an excellent choice. Those are well recognized as being found by the cash register at fancy restaurants.

OP, do you really think they'll respect you the more if you impressed them with your after-entrée course?

Really?

"Why before I was sorry Bob had married him; but then tonight he served that scrumptious Cherries Jubilee! Why, it wasn't even the quality of the dessert he had baked-- it was the sheer perfection of the conception of how to complement the entrée! What a keeper!"

A tuneful little fart followed by a ladylike sigh of contentment.

Snowballs are always a big hit, and the pink ones have that 'Je ne sais quoi' quality.

Maybe find out what the mom’s favorite dessert is, then make that. Sounds corny, but homemade fruit pie and ice cream sounds good to me.

get a nice selection of frosting and let each guess choose his favorite.

Simple & classy

If only OP had corn nuts and apple pie filling.....

Real dessert. No need to seem try hard.

This cake will surely impress them!

Ivanka has the tastiest cupcakes.

This thread is hilarious.

But, OP, here's what you should do:

Assuming you are American, and especially if they are too, serve a sweet dessert. It's what we do. Serving cheese and fruit to end the meal will make you look like a pretentious fool. Have fresh fruit on hand to offer as an alternative in case someone refuses the dessert for dietary reasons.

Serving something complicated and self-consciously sophisticated like an entremet is trying too hard. A simple fruit pie - homemade or from a good bakery - is a good choice. Serve it warm; have vanilla ice cream on hand and offer to add a scoop for those who want it. Pie à la mode is a classic American dessert. It will lend an informal touch - and everybody likes ice cream. Buy the best ice cream you can find, but don't mention the brand.

It's better to be underdressed than overdressed, advice that applies in more than just matters of fashion.

I hate pie.

One of the hallmarks of classiness is unpredictability. Let them think you've gone to the kitchen to get the dessert but instead surprise them with one of those two-fingers-in-the-mouth whistles from the open front door, where you're waiting with their coats. If they don't come immediately, whistle again and yell, "Feeding time's over! Let's go! Move it along!"

They'll be confused and possibly angry but their frowns will dissolve when they discover that you've filled their pockets with mignardises. Email a bill for their share of your grocery expenses and link to your PayPal the next day.

That's terrible advise, R64; and cruel!

I'm so triggered that I couldn't spell "advice."

Raspberry Blancmange.

If they're not immediately familiar with it then treat them like the trash they are.

I would do a fruit tart, serve with some high end sorbet for a palate refresher.

I would keep the meal on the light side, but with options. Find out what they like, fish chicken, shrimp, then build the side around that.

I would say, a cheese pairing is great for a wine party, but not do good for in laws focus small dinner.

Limoncello.

Sorbet.

What ambience are you going for? It would really help to know what selections you've chosen the live musicians to play during this course.

I was told that fruit is served between courses to cleanse the palate.

I've found that there are very few women who do not like coconut, so how about a coconut layer cake, perhaps with a lemon and/or raspberry filling?

Cake might not be butch enough for Dad( I think most men would prefer pie instead of cake), so I suggest a fruit pie, something dark(cherry blueberry, etc), better visual appeal, as opposed to apple(always seems a tad sad and diner-ish) Vanilla ice cream to go with, natch. Be prepared to serve a generous wedge of pie with two scoops( a la Trump) of ice cream, if Dad looks like a trencherman.

That snatch above who told you to serve pie must be off her rocker. Pie is for lunch. Pies is for a picnic. Pie is not for dinner, I'm certainly not for a dinner meant to favorably impress some family VIPs.

Nothing impresses like a flambé. Bananas Foster. Baked Alaska. Or, perhaps, a beautiful flambé of your own invention dedicated to your mother-in-law. That will impress. Your goal will be achieved!

The fruit and cheese course is before dessert, not after. I love having fruit and cheese followed by berries and good chocolate, but I'm in the minority, obviously.

A good carrot cake (or red velvet cake if they're old-fashioned) served at the same time as a small cheese plate with fruits is a good compromise. Or serve apple or pear tarts with a cheese plate.

If cake isn't manly enough (weird theory but let's go with it) then go with cobbler, not pie.

Anyone who seeks to be “classy” is not.

What is a classy cheese on the platter? Is raw French cheese acceptable?

Why replace the dessert? A cheese platter is usually served before dessert if you want to go for a French style meal. Just keep the dessert light and you can serve both.

Dollar store pound cake.

Or creme brulee......and they want it NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OP absolutely everything depends on what you serve for your main course. The Dessert should compliment the main meal. Don't serve things that are too heavy or too complicated.

Make a Cathy Mitchell dump cake.

My guests raved about this Christmas surprise!

R87 I don't know about "classy" but for the usual cheese platter you need at least 3 different types of cheese. I would go for one soft cheese (like a nice camembert or brie), one hard cheese (old gouda or comté), and one blue cheese (Roquefort, Bresse Bleu...). You could also go for 3 different types of milk with cow, goat and sheep cheese.

I thought raw milk cheese was prohibited in the US?

For a cheese plate, it depends how many you're serving. I always get at least a hard cheese and a soft cheese like brie at a minimum, and if there's a lot of people I can throw in a very sharp cheese as well, and maybe a blue cheese on top of that if there are a lot of people. Variety, people!

I wouldnt recommend including a goat cheese, a good number of people dont like it.

Climb naked on the table, present hole and declare ' dessert is served'. The' ll appreciate your sense of humor

Anjou pears with Stilton and a nice white wine....heaven! Adda baked Brie en croute. Top it with pecans in brown sugar, or sliced fresh peaches.

Just before Christmas, I served the pearspoached in red wine linked below. The recipe is terrific. It is not expensive. It is not laborious or demanding of your time. You can prepare the pears in the afternoon before the meal. The reduction of the red wine in which the pears were poached is maybe the best part. It makes an unforgettable dark red syrup to drip down the pears and onto the plate. As the main course I served was a cassoulet, something exceedingly light was needed for dessert and these pears delivered. I didn't even add the ice cream.

Listen up, OP. You will not go wrong with this. And don't serve a fucking pie. Ugh.

EVERYONE likes Rice Krispie treats.

Why do I think R97 wears an ascot every day?

R97, that's the perfect suggestion to serve after a cassoulet. I'd want to add some kind of biscotti, or similar.

Thank you, R100.

Eat my ass, R99.

[quote] A good carrot cake (or red velvet cake if they're old-fashioned) served at the same time as a small cheese plate with fruits is a good compromise. Or serve apple or pear tarts with a cheese plate.

I advise everyone AGAINST serving anything with red food dye--like velvet cake.

If they get food poisoning at your home and end up vomiting up the entire meal, the red dye will make them fear that their stomach is bleeding.

R102 clearly never serves beets.

Your dinners must be entertaining, R102

R104, no, it wasn't me! This happened to me at a restaurant in Coral Gables.

I ordered bay scallops and then a small (tiny tiny) bit of red velvet cake.

I will not describe the ensuing events.

Even the humble dump cake can be classed up with a tableside dump and flambé.

Especially for you, R105; a generously sized mélange of spring beets and sauteed butterfish. Bon appétit!

R107, ha ha...

Just wait until it happens to you, my friend...

[quote]That snatch above who told you to serve pie must be off her rocker. Pie is for lunch. Pies is for a picnic. Pie is not for dinner, I'm certainly not for a dinner meant to favorably impress some family VIPs.

Well, smell R84.

Smell Miss R84.

R46, that's a breath freshener called mukshudi, mukwas, or saunf depending on the region. It isn't meant to be swallowed. People typically chew it a few times then spit it out. Look around by the exit next time you're leaving an Indian restaurant , you'll most likely see a small bowl of it with a spoon. Patrons spoon it into their open palms and toss it into their mouths on the way out the door and spit it out in the parking lot.

[quote]The Dessert should compliment the main meal.

"Lookin' good there, main meal!"

gin and regret. Oh wait that's the cocktail.

Vomit

IMO, I'd be disappointed with sorbet or poached fruit. I don't care if it's Anjou pears poached in red wine.

I'd be happy with good chocolate chip cookies and ice cream.

You, and POTUS, R115.

The most gracious way to end a meal - and impress your in-laws — is to make a good version of something they are familiar with and like.

Don’t be a striver and appear to have worked at impressing them.

A relaxed easy competence is what you want.

A nice little bowl of lime jello is fine enough for me.

hash brownies

Set your kitchen up like an airport cafeteria, with many choices of jello in cubes or chocolate pudding under saran wrap. Let them pick what they like.

You're not going to impress anyone unless there are a variety of choices served from a hostess cart.

[quote]Nothing impresses like a flambé. Bananas Foster. Baked Alaska. Or, perhaps, a beautiful flambé of your own invention dedicated to your mother-in-law. That will impress. Your goal will be achieved!

"Hi Mabel, I was hoping you'd call... oh, 'How was the dinner last night?,' you ask? Well, let's just say the dessert was every bit as flaming as Bob's husband..."

[quote]Even the humble dump cake can be classed up with a tableside dump and flambé.

Remember that you can always use add a can of diet soda to the packaged cake mix for a guilt-free dessert!

^^ . . . can always add a can of diet soda . . .

The more 'out-there' you get, the more insecure you look.

Don't try to take on anything you don't know. Pick the dessert you do best and do that.

May I suggest the elegant dessert known en Francais as "Fondantine la Baleine"?

Fudgie's okay, but don't forget about me!

The ice cream clown sundaes Rose made for Dorothy's lesbian friend Jeanne on a very special episode of Golden Girls.

Baked Alaska

I once had a meal that included roasted beets. The next morning, my poop was red! I screamed. Thought I was bleeding internally....

so many pretentious old queens on here. First, know and appeal to your audience. If they are basic midwestern American working or middle class non-foodies, they may actually enjoy a nice pie or cheesecake over a mealy port covered pear. They are likely to think you’re a stuck up twat if you go over the top (which is my opinion of the cunt with his pie-is-only-for-lunch- horror). If they really enjoy Italian food, then maybe something Italian-inspired.

Fudgie the Whale!

Ugh...not cheesecake. Who wants to listen to everyone making that stuck-together mouth noise?

[quote]Baked Alaska

Someone is posting from the 1950s!

[quote]Fudgie the Whale!

R133, meet R126.

Yes, Tom. I was simply excited about seeing Fudgie and I exclaimed his name through my fingers.

Can you relax now?

I've been fairly relaxed ever since I died in 1990.

If you want to go with fruit, cling peaches in heavy syrup makes a statement.

Ritual execution.

Invite a society Rabbi in to perform a Bris.

Any of Simply Sara's recipes will do, but the moment in time immortalized by the screencap makes this the classiest of them all.

If you're not worried about such trivialities, go with her Christmas Fluff or Fruit Cocktail Dump Cake.

Ice cream served in a pretty fashion or chocolate mousse, which is just fancy pudding.

Pass out butter knives, water crackers...pull up your foreskin and invite everyone to the cheeseboard.

Surprise anal is the classiest way I have experienced

Did Al Gore invent entremet?

What is the main course? In laws nationality? Where do you live?

I'm ignorant. WTF is entremet??

Fart loudly and announce that you're going to go make room for dessert.

They sound awesome, r97! OP, make Wine-Poached Pears!

Dessert is not nearly enough to impress them, "classy" or not. You're sodomizing their son. They will want to leave asap. Serve cheesecake and call it a night.

R151, I’d be willing to bet that OP is the one being sodomized.

A nice jello mold is always appreciated. Especially lime.

[quote]Fart loudly and announce that you're going to go make room for dessert.

R149 I love you.

R153 True. But I think Lime is better served during dinner.

In this case, fleet enemas on individual silver platters. Still believe cigarettes would be the ticket.

Cigarettes are nasty. Shame!

How sloshed will the in-laws be by the time you're ready to serve dessert?

R97 those pears look fantastic! Every year my great-grandmother served a Christmas Eve meal of duck breast, wild rice and steamed asparagus, and she followed it up with what we called "red poached pears" and a dab of homemade vanilla ice cream. It was a simple but very elegant meal and she always used her sterling flatware and linen tablecloths. I haven't thought about those pears in ages so thanks for the memory. I can even smell her beeswax candles which my brother and I were always getting into trouble for squishing, lol.

Brandied peaches flambe!

I remember at Christmas time, when I was a little kid, (late 50's) we'd have colored fruit in a jar, pears, apples, etc and they were red and green and they tasted awful, as if they had been soaked in cough syrup. Ma would end up throwing most of it away, but they were very popular back then.

R159, that sounds wonderful.

In flyover country, DUMPCAKES are a hit!

Well, I'm in the process of making my New Years Day cheese cake pound cake and this year I'm cheating.I'm going to use Betty Crocker super moist white cake and add just a few drops of almond extract.

It’s perfectly fine to present something from a bakery if you’re not a confident cook. You can easily present madeleines with a light dessert option like a sorbet and fresh berries and spare yourself any grief.

We have certain upscale bakeries in town that are really good, and if you serve something from there you're impressing people.

Setting out to impress people at a dinner party is a sure way to end up on the wrong path.

The wine-poached pears are a quick, easy, informal, make-ahead, tasty dessert.

Serve with optional vanilla ice cream, which covers both the people who like big dessert portions, and those who don't like pears.

Adding on to what r167 wrote, be sure to offer at least two vanilla ice creams — one of which MUST be from Aldi.

Bringing the containers to the table half-eaten (always check for peanut butter streaks) and with scoops stuck in provides a much-needed touch of insouciant whimsy.

If you are going to serve ice cream, especially if you put the carton out on the table, you should at least use a luxury brand like Häagen-Dazs or Breyers. It's not going to be classy if you're scooping from a carton of store brand.

Uhhh... Sorry, R169. Breyers is not a "luxury" brand of ice cream. It's not even ice cream. They don't even try to call it ice cream because the FDA would not allow it.

Breyers markets its product as "frozen dairy dessert" because it's just not ice cream. Perhaps it is the luxury frozen dairy dessert, but it is more likely that the word "luxury" should not venture anywhere near the same word as "Breyers."

[quote]Breyers markets its product as "frozen dairy dessert" because it's just not ice cream.

Some is.

In any case, the frozen dairy dessert variety is the classiest. It shows that you can afford to pay for added thickeners, stabilizers, and preservatives.

Remember to read the ingredients to your guests, OP.

TARA GUM !!!

Do buy premium ice cream. Don't put the carton on the table and don't mention the brand. People who care about such a thing will be able to taste the buttery smooth, mouth-coating richness of a high-priced brand.

The Marquis de Sade would always bind his guests naked at the wrists and ankles, then shit in their mouths.

It sounds to me as though this meal will be ending in tears and recriminations, which probably won't strike your guests as terribly classy.

That's right, R174, and after all, the Marquis de Sade was a marquis so he's automatically classier than OP's boyfriend's dreary family.

Give them some Little Debbie cakes and be done with it.

A rousing game of Duck. Duck. Goose.

If you want to impress with something exotic, a tray of Girl Scout Samoas invokes a touch of the South Pacific. It come be a welcome respite on a winter's night.

Do you like these people? Do you know them well?

I just think it's dangerous to introduce a torch into a family gathering that might not go well.

Something from a high end baker. And serve there favorite drinks too. Keep it easy. Focus on the main entree and salad or soup course.

So what did you serve, OP?

Impress the in-laws, OP?

What you really need is a classy way to end this relationship.

Celebration Cak!

Breyers is garbage. It used to be perfectly adequate, like 30 years ago. Like LL Bean, they’re coasting on a reputation they haven’t lived up to in decades.

Back in the 70s there used to be a thing called “ice milk”, which is ice cream without the cream. Anyone remember that? It’s basically “lite” ice cream without the carrageenan and shit. It was sort of refreshing at least.

[quote] Back in the 70s there used to be a thing called “ice milk”, which is ice cream without the cream. Anyone remember that? It’s basically “lite” ice cream without the carrageenan and shit. It was sort of refreshing at least.

We remember! Delicious!

Unflavored for me!

Thank you, thank you Everyone Who Posted! I've pissed myself three times reading these threads. Puhlease OP tell us what you served

I went to Kroger last and I was going to double check on which ice cream are the luxury premium brands and see which of them are on sale this week but I forgot.

If you're among chinese remember to burp and fart loudly to show you enjoyed the meal.

And don't forget to offer toothpicks and those multi-colored buttermints as they depart.

We still haven't heard anything from OP about how it all went? Maybe the poor thing is too humiliated to even discuss it.

Two Girls, One Cup-it. Then present Hole.

R79 Everyone does not like ice cream. I do not like it.

Fruit and cheese is never pretentious.

R190, he might not be alive..

[quote]he might not be alive.

I certainly hope he wasn't the victim of a tragic flambé mishap.

Food poisoning.

OP here. It didn't go as well as I'd planned. I served the cheese course and the poached pears. The in-laws barely touched the food. The conversation was sparse as well.

Oh well, I tried.

Awww...too bad, r196.

Was this the first time meeting them?

(Sorry if you answer this in one of the 197 posts.)

OP, they sound like ingrates.

Are you going to try again on Valentine's Day?

[quote]Are you going to try again on Valentine's Day?

Mother's day! Am planning the menu as I type.

[quote]Oh well, I tried.

You certainly did. Their failure to appreciate all your effort is no reflection on you.

I think wine poached pears are pretentious. There. I said it.

Mama would have a sweets table set up. Cookies,brownies, pound cake, tartlets, fruit salad, and like that. Now they were very upscale, nothing lowend about it, but I always liked that idea.

They would have been happy with ice cream or cheesecake rather than pretentious faggy poached pears. Your audience was an old straight couple, not old DL queens with delusions of 1950s-style grand entertaining.

[quote] I think wine poached pears are pretentious. There. I said it.

True. There were a lot of simple elegant options suggested here that didn’t cross the line of being pretentious or snooty. It’s better to go with something nice that requires low effort so no one gets hurt.

I'm sorry it ended in tears, OP. They clearly don't see your fabulosity.

Trump’s famous “two scoops” can be dressed up nicely with a couple of Pepperidge Farms Pirouette cookies. They look fancy and go great with ice cream.

Just find out there favorite desserts and Find the best bakery out there. Focus on the main entree.

Poached pears > cheesecake.

Don't listen to these cheesecake queens, OP. You did your best. They don't know how easy it is to poach pears. Ignorant sows. Cheesecake...feh!

Grab a Costco cheesecake or one of their layered tuxedo cakes. They’re pretty damn good.

All these queens hissing about poached pears are revealing that they were raised in trailer parks and never saw a dessert that was not a product purchased at Dollar Tree. A sweets table? Good God. 'Dessert's over there. Serve yourselves.' What would Leticia Baldridge say about that?

OP, the problem was not your dinner. The problem is your in-laws. They obviously did not want to be there. Next time you are pressed to share a meal with them, agree to meet them at a restaurant. Don't put yourself through this again for unappreciative trash. If they considered you to be family, they would make every effort to be supportive and appreciative. You did this for you partner. He now should step up and give you the support and appreciation his parents withheld.

Do people even like pears? It’s kind of uncommon. It would be better to stick with apples and peaches.

I love pears. I used to love peaches even more, but American factory farming ruined them. Apples have never been interesting to me except as something to turn into a crisp.

One of my favorite desserts is simply one good, perfectly ripe pear per person, served with Parmigiano-Reggiano and walnuts.

R214 I pair my Anjou pear with stilton. and a nice pinot grigio...not a cheap one

That's nice, r215. Wish I liked Stilton.

r214

Roquefort cheese and a Sauternes dessert wine. Otherwise, some fine chocolate and port.

Port is too heavy and sweet IMO. But to each their own.

So you want to impress the in-laws with an ostentatious display of the social class you want to be a part of?

Entremets vs cheese and fruits?

How about you prepare a delicious dinner, plenty of it, and make it clear to them you want them to enjoy the evening? That my friend, is what class in the broader sense, is all about.

What a condescending twat you are, R219. You, my friend, must bore the shit out of people.

Lots of trailer trash on this thread feeling very, very, defensive about their quaint and homey ways.

Also lots of pretentious twits.

R221 is both a twit and a twat. Well done, Hunty!

What about classy ways to START a meal? I always go for the salami and cream cheese triangles or a pretty bowl of molar-busting nuts. Ending a meal is easy: loosen your belt and go home.

In some of the grander homes there's a special room reserved after a long heavy meal, for farting off the bloat.

[quote] All these queens hissing about poached pears are revealing that they were raised in trailer parks and never saw a dessert that was not a product purchased at Dollar Tree. A sweets table? Good God. 'Dessert's over there. Serve yourselves.' What would Leticia Baldridge say about that?

Mary, I do not dare guess!!

You can serve fruit, cheese AND a sweet. Put plates of each on the table and people can take what they like.

If guests are still hungry to want fruit and cheese after the entree, a host is probably too stingy with the meat and gravy. A dessert should be something so tempting a guest would want to eat some even after they’re completely full.

We always waited to serve dessert. We'd sit around talking and visiting and then dessert was served and then after dessert people went home. Bye!

"Visiting," r229? Isn't the entire dinner considered "visiting'?

"Visiting," r229? Isn't the entire dinner considered "visiting'?

R230, R231 I'm guessing R229 is from the South, where they refer to friendly, polite conversation 'visiting'. Calm down, bitch.

When people first arrive, their either getting acquainted with people they haven't met before, or they're catching up, and there's an air of expectation. They have cocktails and munch some light h'or d'ouvres, and then dinner is served. Once the dinner part is over, people tend to be more relaxed and chatty. So yes, they "visit." They sit around the table or they go to the living room or family room or WTF ever, and visit. They may play games or watch a TV show together, whatever. A Host will know when enough time has passed, and bring on the desserts. Then things wrap up and people go home. That was the structure when I grew up, and that is how I do it now and it works well, and I'm from the Midwest, not the South.

Thanks, r233. I guess I'm just not "classy."

Drizzle lighter fluid all over the starched table linens and dirty dishes and flambeé the entire tableau as dinner theatre. Interpretative dance throughout is a must.

Belch and a Jew's harp.

Oh, Sugar Beets! I simply ADORE Sugar Beets!!

Dessert should provide a prelude to when you serve coffee which should be signal that people should be planning to leave soon.

[quote] I served the cheese course and the poached pears. The in-laws barely touched the food.

OP, you tried. Your intentions were good. If there is a next time, find out what the parents like to eat. If it's pot roast and apple pie, so be it. Make pot roast. Make or buy apple pie.

As time goes on and your relationship w/parents develops, you will be able to be more experimental.