Holidays at Mar-a-Lago

I am Junior Mint's raging mumblings about Nancy Pelosi.

Jesus Christ I don’t have the energy for more Trump

I'm De Niro's bags of shit for Trump. All brown foods are game.

I’m stuffing the Turkey

I am announcing before all I am now transgender.

I am 'Pooh Bear' and I want to show off my beaver to anyone who wants to see.

R6 Why couldn’t you just say I’m Melania? Why?

I am the original 5-gallon flush toilets installed by Marjorie Merriweather Post’s architect back in 1927. When 45 is not in town the handymen carefully examine each porcelain unit to check the flow and clear the lines or else the whole place will go up in a cloud of methane gas.

If not for me — not the golf course, not the ballrooms, not the bungalows where mistresses live — 45 would have sold this place long ago.

Where’s Barron?

I’m a pissing prostitute

They sent him back to Central Casting for the holidays R9

I'm the Christmas Pee-Pee Hookers sent, with love, from Putin.

They're always happiest when they are leaving the dreary White House.

He'll be hunkering-down with his dozens of lawyers: going over his many lawsuits, legal troubles and threats to his presidency- with an emphasis on revenge.

R12 see r10 Jesus!

I'm the lump of coal waiting for the odious impeached pig. He will call it a diamond..."the biggest diamond ever in the entire history of the whole, whole world.'

We’re Chinese spies on our way to MaraLago. We’re pretending we don’t know anything about white people’s winter holiday. We plan to bow to Mr Trump and tell curses to him while our “translator” tells Trump we are praising him as best leader in history of planet.

I'm the faux exit of Melania and Baron from the White House on pap strolls. In fact, we arrived 45 minutes earlier from our home, who knows where?

Santa's top elf will be bringing the menz a special treat.

Are you sure that's Mar-a-Lago in the pic, OP? It looks more like the buffet table at a rat infested Cracker Barrel in Orlando.

I'm the acrid odour of stale MacD's farts emanating from each room DJT exits.

Wow. That’s Mar a Lago in OPs photo? R19 is right. Drop ceiling? Yucky tree? This is Cracker Barrel. Oh wait...

That’s Lago Mar in Ft Lauderdale, not Maralago in Palm Beach.

What’s the difference r22?

B. Spurs is cheap. Makes p-p girls wait on the balcony until he's ready to have them fetched.

I am the Sarah Huckabee Sanders tree ornament.

I'm the entertainment for a guest.

Imz zee vig zeecret zervize caulk in vairst leddy puzzy.

[quote] What’s the difference [R22]?

1) The names are completely different

2) They're in two different cities.

Any other questions? Like, “But why can’t they be the same place?”

Be there without George.

Maria (who is paid $10 an hour...under the table for 'tax' purposes) is responsible for the Big Mac casserole.

I’m the choice of desserts: Impeachy Ice Cream (two scoops!) or Impeachy Cobbler!

The gardener is rather alluring.

Bedbug Ralph here, and I'm gonna bite me some Junior Mint.

I'm the passive aggressive war Javakna wages to push the Hanukkah celebrations to the fore.

It started with I's whine "Daddy, my kids are Jewish! They don't celebrate Christmas! They NEED to see the menorah. It's not like Barron thinks Santa still exists"

Continues with J leaving his search for "Slovenian Nazis" up on his laptop while he goes to play golf

And ends in both sneaking down and night and moving the tree so it's blocked by the Trump-themed hanukkiyah and pushing all the blue and white decorations to the front.

I'm the Fake Melania Factory, where we grow doppelgangers who impersonate her so she can have peace and privacy and protection from the constant bullying.

The real Melania never left Trump Tower.

No, no, Là Sénatrice, you cannot be one of the special hotel maids during your holiday stay. You are here to wear a canine spiked collar and caddy for Trump. The golf course is where you receive your updated orders.

Same ole....

I’m a fragment of cheese puff that was blown under furniture 3 days ago being nibbled by roaches

I'm Eric. That's all. Just wanted to say I'm Eric.