Do you find it embarrassing to go out alone?

[quote]Why do people have to bring their grandparents, their cousins, four children, and a dog to the shops?

Indeed. Just the dog, please.

I love being alone!

I prefer going out alone to run errands or even see movies.

What kind of mental case is embarrassed to go out alone?

What kind of mental case is embarrassed to go out alone?

People that are incapable of doing things on their own are an embarrassment.

I'm fine being alone and doing most things alone. Exception is fine dining. Just doesn't feel proper.

Eat at the bar. Most restaurants provide that option. Same food, less fuss and you can read.

Movies and formal meals, yes. Not fast food.

I had to defriend someone who kept dragging me along with him on his errands. I told him, “I have errands of my own!” I didn’t even know him that long.

^except I’ll eat at the bar, no problem. Thank you, R9.

[quote] What kind of mental case is embarrassed to go out alone?

Women.

Do you see lone women at the movies? Eating out? Going to the theater?

I never find it embarrassing - movies / theater / restaurants / holiday.

However with travel and live music I prefer company as it is more enjoyable with a companion.

Imagine being so incapable of self reliance that you have to do everything with somebody else at your side. It speaks volumes about those people who can’t be be alone’s emotional maturity and mental health problems.

Not at all. I've been going to movies, the theater and restaurants and on subways, buses and taxis by myself since I was 9. Of course at a young age my father made arrangements for me to go to restaurants and it was very difficult to get a taxi to stop for me. Maybe because I grew up in NYC and was never a social person, even as a kid I preferred my own company and still do. I really never took to people trying to be friends. I was polite, but probably very cold. As a teen I would see groups of other teens hanging out together and I just never got it and wondered why anyone would want to be around so many other people. I can see maybe one friend but groups, never for me. I have belonged to groups like working to help the poor and helping animals but never socially. I hate parties too. Yeah, I'm odd. So what. I'm fairly happy and content.

Never. I'll go anywhere and do anything,including fine dining all by my lonesome. Of course Id like someone on occasion to accompany me.but its not a deal breaker if they cant.

I have no problem going out alone. Many times I prefer it.

I prefer going out alone -- you proceed at your own pace, you do what you want, you leave when you want to.

Try to get past feeling awkward eating in a restaurant alone. It stopped bothering me when I waited tables years ago and saw so many people eating by themselves.

Nobody else even notices, really.

I feel as if the servers are trying to rush me when I eat alone.

Never, I'm planning on it tonight - I always see friends

I eat alone constantly. I meet a lot of people at the bar. Eating out is such a pleasure.

I don’t like to furniture-shop alone because it is such an investment and I want another opinion, besides the salesman. Plus, it is one of the few things that makes me feel lonely. Also, the salesman always screws up, I mean always, and a friend would encourage me to chill.

I bought my last car alone and that went well, but that was 15 years ago. (I live in the city and don’t need to drive much.)

A coworker invited some of us (fellow coworkers) to his wedding. The rule was no guests, no Plus-Ones, due to budget and size of venue. One of our coworkers showed up to the wedding/reception really late, with a date. The date was someone she had only been seeing for a short time. It was ridiculous that she couldn't show up to the wedding by herself.

My life is not a cabaret.

When I was younger, I found it embarrassing. But I got to the point where I don't care. What's more, you don't have to worry about boredom; you can always play with your phone (if you want).

I was a waiter at a fancy restaurant. A man came in, party of one, and the hostess stuck him at the shittiest table in the restaurant. I went to his table to take his drink order. He ordered a whole bottle of nice wine for himself. Not the most expensive wine, but not the cheapest. These were the days before smart phones and iPads. He then took out a National Enquirer magazine to read and I told him that I liked the Enquirer, too (I did like the Enquirer). I appreciated seeing someone enjoying himself like that.

I’ve never minded going somewhere by myself. What I do mind is my partner saying don’t go without me, when I mention doing something. Then it never happens.

I go to movies alone and eat out at restaurants alone all the time. I go with people too but when I want to see something just myself or eat something when I want, it doesn't even occur to be embarrassed. It's weird to me that people feel like they have to have someone with them when they go to a movie.

I just got back from seeing the new Terminator movie by myself. It was okay. I wanted to like it more than I did.

Nowadays since you have to pre-buy your ticket, I wasn’t by myself, I had two strangers next to me. 😛

[quote] Many people even find the thought of shopping solo awkward

Surely that can't be true.

I go to movies, theater and restaurants by myself all the time and have since I was a young teenager. Its great!

God, No. I’m a busy, BUSY bee!

I can’t be saddled down by your show time choices, or preferred restaurants! I can’t ... we’ll, I don’t even have time to TALK about it!

9 cats to feed and a million quilting squares to stitch, here - -

Movies are about the only thing I dont do alone, that and fine dining (which I dont often do anyway). Everything else I either am happy to do alone or actually prefer to, like shopping or errands. I have travelled alone which was fun but slightly prefer to do it with my partner - quite often we go off and do different things for the day and meet up for dinner, I might go to a car museum hot rod show or similar while he goes to a winery or cooking class

I love doing things alone! Especially vacationing and museums.

Movies are nice to see with someone

Embarrassing OP? Why would I care what other people think, who I don't know, if I'm out alone? Saying that, I do prefer company if I'm dining in a nice place, but that is about all. Also nice, but not required, if I have company while attending a concert or Broadway show.

Once you no longer care what other people think is when you can start enjoying being with yourself and living life more fully. Maybe a few visits to a therapist will help you discover why you're embarrassed going out alone.

The topic is not about me! Read the fucking article!

Absolutely not--sometimes I prefer it. I can and will do anything by myself if I so wish. I've gone to the movies by myself since I was in college. Sometimes I'll go with friends, but if there is a movie I want to see, I won't let the fact that someone else can't go with me stop me from seeing it. When I was in grad school living in NYC, I went to the movies alone all the time, and would eat by myself in public semi-regularly as well. I've always been a bit of a loner by nature, so it's never bothered me and I've never been self-conscious about it. I sort of pity people who feel they can't be in public alone—that has to be a terribly oppressive feeling.

I only eat alone at fast food type restaurants where you get your food at the counter, no waitress

I no longer find it embarrassing, just a bit boring. When I was in my 20s I got a job that required a lot of solo travel. The worst part was going into restaurants and asking for a table for one, sitting there in my cheap suit like some loser with no friends. Staying in the hotel room with a cold sandwich was even worse so I forced myself to go out. After a while I started to like it and pretended I was an important person from out of town, all mysterious sitting there with a glass of wine reading my book. I still travel a lot for work and am used to going to restaurants, bars, and everywhere else alone but when I'm at home I much prefer company.

How many of you are females?

I admit that I do get embarrassed. I once saw a movie alone and overheard somebody remark about it. Way to make me feel not self-conscious. I have only eaten alone at a restaurant once, and even then it was breakfast at the hotel where I was staying, so I had an "excuse."

This thread is inspiring me to try venturing to these places alone more, though.

[quote]r41 I admit that I do get embarrassed. I once saw a movie alone and overheard somebody remark about it.

If that happened (??) I might go over and sit with them. And be like, "Thank you for being concerned about me!"

[quote] Do you see lone women at the movies? Eating out? Going to the theater?

FFS, some of you people are so weird. I am a woman and have done all of the above alone, on many occasions. Most of my women friends have, too. The only person I can think of offhand who cannot abide doing things alone is a man. If you're meeting him at a bar or restaurant and he arrives first, he'll wait outside until you get there rather than just going in by himself and ordering a drink; I find this babyish and bizarre.

I don't enjoy shopping and especially cannot abide shopping with another person; who wants to hang around and watch someone else choosing merchandise or make somebody wait while you do? If I try shopping for something like clothing or gifts with someone else, I feel pressured to hurry and make a selection and usually end up grabbing something that's not really what I want.

For crying out loud: grow up already. You came into the world alone and you're going to depart accordingly.

Take a note from the "Cold Turkey" character in the big pharm commercial campaign who goes about here and there happily solo; that bird is a role model.

The majority of my friends are 10-15 younger. I never thought about it much until I retired a few months ago and realized that if I wanted to do things during the week like visit a museum, or travel frequently, I'd have to do so solo for the most part. Fortunately I spent the last 30 years traveling constantly for work, much of it internationally, and that forced me get over my discomfort going into nice restaurants alone. I often brought my ipad along and caught up on the day's news. Depending on the restaurant, I'd often eat at the bar and invariably met some interesting people to chat with.

R26, wait staff at nice restaurants seem to be either fall one way or the other. Either they treat you well when dining alone, or make it obvious they can't wait to get you out of there. (They're the ones who assume you must want to order immediately after being seated and act surprised when you say you want to sit a while and enjoy your wine or cocktail.) The wait staff who are cordial and make me feel comfortable always get a verbal compliment and a generous tip.

Not embarrassing. Just boring.

I’m perfectly fine with doing things alone. I’m a bit of an introvert, so more often than not I prefer it that way. However, I don’t like going to the movies alone; probably because if I really like the movie I’m going to want to talk about it/analyze it (with another person).

I usually go out shopping alone, but I rarely go out for dinner alone. I'm 99% sure I've never been to the cinema alone, come to think of it.

I'm going out now to get something to eat. By myself. If I had to wait for someone, I'd starve.

I don't really like it. I do it because the alternative is to sit at home all the time as most of my friends have partners and / or very different lives these days. So, I go out alone. If I eat, I tend to go on off-peak hours typically... to make it less awkward I guess. In Paris, I really wanted to try this one place, so I showed up the second they opened...for example. I guess it was pretty nice to have nobody else there and all the service for me (at 6 - and at 8 you can't even get in). Sometimes I will read stuff online on my phone (and DL too) - just to occupy myself. I don't really bother with newspapers but loved the Enquirer comment above. (That was a staple in my house growing up, yet my mom would get so mad at me for reading it.)

I was in Edinburgh at this Italian place a few days ago ("ASK Italian" - weird name) and there were 2 other solo diners right around me. It's a busy city with a lot of business travelers, so it's not that surprising. Of course there was a fucking loud family next to me having their lunch day out & arguing and whatever.

I do kind of hate it when the host says "Just you??" rather than "Oh table for one? Right this way." A good host at a restaurant shouldn't even bat an eyelash that it's "just you."

All that being said, I am in Dublin right now, and last night was a little depressing because I went to my old places where I used to go with friends and I didn't know anybody anywhere. And in front of me were always people having fun with their friends like I used to do here, but now I was just solo. It was still entertaining I guess - that drag queen in The George who has been there forever... but nobody else was really by themselves. I just kept seeing ghosts everywhere of the past (guys I'd met or been friends with and hung out with there & that whole area)- -All those people are gone... moved on in one way or another.

Ok fuck why did I write such a depressing last paragraph. Well, anyway... the point there was that it's not that it is "embarrassing" - but it was rather depressing last night anyway. I think that's the issue. Should it not be depressing? Are we saying that too? I can't help feeling that way right now. I also want to go to my old breakfast place that I used to eat at with a friend but who knows how that will be.

The only thing I really dislike about eating in restaurants alone is that I have a tendency to eat too fast--there's no conversation to give natural breaks and I'm always like "okay, I took three bites. Now I'm going to read five more paragraphs and eat three more bites."

Whereas if I've ordered room service and it's just me and the TV or the computer, I wind up eating much more slowly.

The only things I prefer doing with company is travel and dining out but I prefer to do all the other things mentioned above alone.

[quote]r45 The majority of my friends are 10-15 younger ... I spent the last 30 years traveling constantly for work, much of it internationally

Back and forth to Thailand, presumably.

I didn't know anyone would feel embarrassed sitting in a dark movie theatre alone until I read this thread.

I used to work at the Kingsley Inn in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, and Aretha Franklin would come in and eat by herself about three times a week.

I was at an outdoor table in Provincetown and at a table by myself. Two very nice guys sat at the next table and very nicely asked me if I'd like to dine with them (since I was alone.)

I was very appreciative and polite but declined. I then lifted up the tablecloth and my Golden Retriever stuck her head out. I was not alone.

I'm single. I live alone. It's great to get together with friends, but I do most things alone. It's a great way to meet people. If I go out to dinner alone or even lunch, I'll sit at the bar. I travel alone, ad I like to go to the trendy restaurants, where it is hard to get a reservation. Sitting at the bar solves the problem. And I have no problem striking up conversations with people. It's led to so great encounters (sexual and other). The first time I went to San Francisco 20 years ago, my Mom told me that I should get a drink at the bar at the top of the Mark Hopkins hotel. I did, and as I was sitting there I struck up a conversation with a young woman seated next to me. She worked for the Alumni Office at Berkeley. She had to go to some function at the hotel, but she suggested that we meet later for dinner at a restaurant in North Beach. We had a great dinner, and afterwards went dancing and ended the night with Irish coffees at The Buena Vista. The next morning she left a Cal sweatshirt for me at the Front Desk of my hotel. We never saw each other again, and I've lost her contacts, but I still have the sweatshirt. It's a reminder of a really nice night in SF.

In my caftan, OP?

I’m married. I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about!

[quote]Do you see lone women at the movies? Eating out? Going to the theater?

I do all of the above alone. I was raised by my loner stepmom and developed self sufficiency early in life. Although I do enjoy spending time with friends, I often prefer to do things by myself, as do my three sisters.

When I was in college there was a movie theater on campus that showed foreign and alternative films (gone now, alas). I would go there alone to see movies and I loved it. Once they were showing a film that, "Two Hours of the Beatles and the Door", which featured mostly nothing but concert footage and it was great. And for most of the showing I was ONLY ONE in the theater! It was a little weird, but interesting.

[quote]I admit that I do get embarrassed. I once saw a movie alone and overheard somebody remark about it. Way to make me feel not self-conscious.

Talked about this on another thread. I was a movie theater manager for a long time. Singles is not even a thing. So common and part of the norm. No one on staff would be "Oh look somebody by themselves!". Not a issue in the least, In fact I can say I have had shows where singles would out number the couples or groups. Just go and enjoy yourself.

From an early age I've had long stretches where I'm a loner followed by periods where I'm much more sociable. Being sociable is definitely healthier for me, but I don't have the energy or interest to make an effort right now, so am back in solo mode.

R62 your post also fits on this thread

It depends.

I have no problem going to the movies alone. You don't really talk there anyway, you just sit in the dark for 1.5-2 hours - it doesn't matter if you do that alone or with other people. I do it far less, but I've also gone to see a play or ballet alone.

When it comes to eating, I have no problem eating alone at fast food restaurants or at cafés, but I guess I'd feel a bit weird sitting in a proper, nice restaurant all by myself, especially with candle light and all that stuff.

I also never really go out to bars, pubs or clubs alone. I usually don't have much of a problem meeting new people, but the prospect of ending up all alone the whole evening is not a pleasant one, so I'd rather go out with friends. I've been to a small rock concert alone once, but that was more of a spur of the moment thing. I was talking a walk, saw people queuing for tickets at a venue I didn't know, ended up chatting to some of them and attended the concert. It was fun and I still have no clue who the band was lol. But in general I also prefer going to concerts with friends, unless it's someone I REALLY want to see, then I'd go alone and just try to meet people there.

I often prefer to be alone but some people get overtly hostile about it, which makes no sense. At one job I used lunch to decompress and get away from the office assholes, and one guy and his office beard would loudly say things about how I must smell or something. They were in their 40s! Then they loudly criticized the CEO for eating alone one day not realizing he was within earshot and suddenly HR decided to intervene, by saying that sometimes it's okay to be alone. Ut was hilarious.

I don't know why some people get so worked up about these things.

Mondays and Tuesdays used to be my work "weekend." I used to go, by myself, to movies during the day. It was nice, I felt comfortable. Other movie-goers were very relaxed.