GOOP celebrated her birthday by celebrating the Danner-Paltrow-Martin Female Bloodline

Well there’s no denying that’s her daughter. I can see her being thrust upon us as the next biggest star!!

That Blasberg's friends with everyone, huh?

How long before Ryan Murphy casts Apple in something?

Apple appears to be prettier than Gwynnie was at that age. When you get beneath the makeup and general grooming, Gwyneth has always been rather plain.

Oh, the daughter is cute. So she's going to be another talentless nepotism celebrity.

I thought Apple was like age 7.

Whew time flies...

R4 because Apple also has Chris Martins genetics, which made a cuter human than her two parents did.

Chris Martin was hot. Might still be hot... haven't seen him recently.

She works for us!

What always skeeved me out is how much Jake Paltrow, Gwyneth's brother, and Chris Martin resemble each other. Chris:

Jake:

She’s going to be thrust upon us as a musician- GOOP’s real desires talent. As GOOP won the Oscar for Blythe.

And now, apparently Gwyneth even refers to Chris Martin as her 'brother.' So year, that's healthy.

Nothing wrong with that!

Didn’t Dakota Johnson break up with Chris Martin because GOOP was literally always around? Even wanting to vacation together etc.

Apple got her father's large, widely spaced eyes. Makes all the difference looks-wise. To me she resembles Amanda Seyfried.

I don't know if Dakota did, but I heard that's why Jennifer Lawrence broke up with him, R15.

[Quote] but I heard that's why Jennifer Lawrence broke up with him, [R15].

That was real??

Let's go to the beach.

How did she ever get into film. She's really unattractive.

She could be a stand-in for the Queen of All Lesbians.

R20 her parents

Gwyneth is starting to look more like Blythe's slightly young sister rather than her daughter. Her smoking is taking a toll.

Was the birthday party keto?

I thought Goop quit smoking years ago.

Gwyneth was always plain, and now that she's pushing 50 the smoking and dieting have affected her skin. If she gained 10-15 pounds it would help a lot, but she chose her ass over her face long ago.

❤️❤️❤️❤️

The daughter is really pretty

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Apple is gorgeous. G is good looking from certain angles. Her profile shows a huge nose and no lips to speak of.

The kid’s beautiful, and so was her “plain” mom. Goop’s ruined her skin by sunbathing and smoking her one cigarette per week, LOL!

She’s due for a facelift and some deep laser treatments for her skin.

The sun will just devastate your skin without SPF, big hats, and coverups.

Daughter looks like she has Marfan's.

Can’t the old lady do something with that rat’s nest hair?

Apple's a pretty girl but she does, indeed, have uneven eyes--Shannen Doherty levels of uneven. I don't think there's any plastic surgery that can fix it.

That Martin girl has a fat arm.

R34. She looks like a fucking alien

Yeah that’s why her eye is covered in the top pic.

Gwyneth needs a tiny upper eye lift and some eyebrows.

R38 she looks tired in that pic. Girl needs more GOOP