Kilts

Dear [friend]

Unfortunately I can't attend your wedding event(s) due to a family emergency.

The only thing more ridiculous than weddings are the idiots who are getting married.

Why are you friends with such awful people?

The really eye-rolling thing is that the Bridezilla is putting on this huge production even though he claims to have “issues” with the whole concept of marriage. (He’s a millennial - go figure)

As for why we’re friends - he’s actually fun to be with when he’s not busy telling people what to do and wear. My husband and I have known him and his fiancé for years. They’ve supported us through some tough times, and vice versa.

Accidentally drop your kilt during the ceremony and moon everyone there. Start fucking your boyfriend right there. That'll teach your control freak Bridezilla friend. On the way out tell the bitch that you and your partner have both slept with his husband.

My H and I got married at lunchtime and were back at work in the afternoon. Not a kilt in sight.

Anyone who wears a kilt under any circumstance should be thrown into the deepest, hottest live volcano. Truly the sign of the ultimate douchebag.

R6, we got married at City Hall with just one friend (our witness) in attendance. We did take the whole day off work though - fancy!

Later that day my husband cooked us dinner.

Admit it, OP, the two of you don’t have the legs for a kilt. Compromise: Go out and get yourselves nice tartan pencil skirts.

I know this won’t fly, but the couple are essentially throwing a party. As such, they should be making their guests comfortable, not dictating clothing.

I do like a Celtic Fair, and one of the reason is that most men really do look good in kilts. At least, grown men with nice solid legs do, it's not a good look for skinny twinks. but I like watching the fife-and-drum bands march around in their kilts with no idea that anyone is admiring their legs.

So what the hell, OP, wear the kilt and let everyone check out your legs.

You're supposed to go commando, tho.

I hate weddings with dress “codes” hat go beyond formal, semi-formsl, or casual. Anything else becomes a dress “requirement with specific instructions.”

If I get invited to one more wedding where the women are required to wear white (yes! WHITE) and the men guayaberas (hate them) - pretty much to match the twice divorced bride and groom (I’m in my fifties, so most weddings I’m invited to involve older couples on their second/third trip) - I will come up with a disease decline.

R13, surely not guayaberas; I mean, surely not!

Isn't it misogynistic to refer to a man as a "bridezilla"? Isn't he a "groomzilla"? Or can only women behave badly?

And homophobic R15, because straight men never get called bridezilla.

The use of the word "realness" means that you shouldn't take the guy or his requirements seriously.

He's a bride if he's a bottom. R15.

bottomzilla?

OP, keep in mind that you'll need some decent socks as well.

And that little dagger thang in the top of your sock.

In fact the Bridezilla in this case is a top, so can anyone suggest a sufficiently ‘woke’ term to describe a cis gay man who’s planning his same-gender wedding to within an inch of its life?

[quote] My husband and I are attending a gay wedding the next two weekends - that’s right, a single wedding taking place over two weekends.

This was the exact moment when all sympathy for you dried up.

TWO weekends? Even Madonna's were each just one weekend.

If you are really attending both weekends of this narcissism fest, you deserve everything you get.

“Insufferable asshole” suffices, R21. These names shouldn’t be wedding specific anyway. These people are always like this in other situations, too.

lets see the invitation, please!

This. Never. Happened.

My husband and I are attending a gay wedding

OP, you mean a wedding?

To clarify that the two people involved are of the same gender, r26, though perhaps it doesn’t really matter.

That’s correct, r25. The wedding events start on Saturday and go until the 22nd. So it has, in fact, never happened.

Yet.

I'm an Australian of Scottish descent and paid around A$800 for a genuine family tartan kilt.

The summer weight woollen kilt is unbearably hot in our climate. It has 50 pleats which are easily crushed. And there are very few occasions which justify wearing it.

The sporran is there to cover up Scottish sizemeat bulge.

Guys who wear kilts are the same guys who go out in public places with a big, thick snake wrapped around the back of their neck.

Both types of guys are attention whores hoping someone asks them about their stupid skirt or their stupid snake.

The stench of their desperation is off the charts.

Kilts are permissible but sporrans are as OTT as those fake shoulders worn by American footballers.

The thread title made me hope there’d be hot dick pics like this in it, but there ain’t any.

I’m confused by this. Is bridezilla actually Scottish or misappropriating culture for awesome feedback?

One of my co-workers got married wearing a kilt (his husband did, too). The wedding was in a city park. They're both fat and ugly with hideous tattoos, and they're involved in a 'throuple'. He sent us photos of the special day, and a hush fell over the department, as we all strained to keep from criticizing. They both have pierced nipples (which we all got to see) and we decided the only thing missing were matching nose rings.

10 separate wedding events? I hope you’re exaggerating.

What are they? And how many are expected to attend?

Will the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge be there? (If so, I volunteer to babysit George and Charlotte.)

Kilt party sounds like a sex party in the making.

Some of the Irish wear kilts as well as the Scots, just not tartan ones. However, the kilt itself is a 19th century invention intended to replace the costumes of the Gaelic clan-leaders, which were huge, wrap-around things a bit like Roman togas.

When I was in Scotland I saw many more kilts (obviously) than you'd see elsewhere. Some just wore them with boots and a t-shirt.

Hawt and didn't seem odd at all.

[quote]straight men never get called bridezilla.

Ever seen a straight man who was?

Quite apart from your friend losing his mind - what does he have to prove? - it may be fun. It's like black tie... people grouse until they're in it and see everybody else.

Good lord. Now I want some Scottish cock!

Damn you, Datalounge!

.....

I went back and looked at the invitation. The events listed are: an open house; three out-of-town excursions; a bar crawl; a cabaret show; a pre-wedding dinner at a nearby relative’s house; a spa day; the wedding itself; and the reception/party, which is the following day.

So yes - 10 events. Fortunately we’ve “only” committed to four.

Are these two divorced yet?

Go to it for what it is - a fun excuse to wear a kilt.

Check this out, cocksuckers...

[quote]If you are really attending both weekends of this narcissism fest, you deserve everything you get.

I've noticed that a lot of SJWs are narcissists, including my own brother and mother. Both also had big to-do weddings. What's up with that?

I'm sure the haggis will be delicious!

^^ Is that what a vagina looks like?

R29 A$800 seems rather steep.

Skip the kilt. But wear a festive tam, to fit in and all.

Wear the kilt.

The traditional Scots alternative, the "trews" (or tartan trousers), looks MUCH dorkier!

Tunes of Glory

^ I hated that movie.

Alec thought he could play butch and he failed.

R55 He was meant to fail. And Johnny Mills was meant to succeed.

And Alec can play butch, comrade.

If you look like him on the left, you'll be [more than] fine! Yum.