Frauspiration!

CUNT

Happy hour!

Puke. Curse. Hate.

Sorry, I mean, Eat, Pray, Love!

Don't forget the exclamation mark!

It’s hilarious and sassy to be a boozehound!

Complete with chairs for its crotchfruit.

The most important job in the world starts with a cunt full of jizz, and plenty of coffee lol!

For the sassier frau

I know this one is in needlepoint in every DLers home.

For the godly frau

I heard Pumpkin Spice Lattes are coming back EARLY this year. The Fraus will be orgasming in the streets over this.

Hi, I'm Jennifer Garner and I'm a committed churchgoer. Have you confirmed your personal relationship with Jesus Christ?

Fear me Satan!

GOOD. I can't wait for Target's pumpkin spice scones.

And got her degree from Phoenix University! ^

Best hubby EVAH!!

That's why he cheated on me with Rebecca.

How could Helen Keller see shadows in the first place???

Marilyn Monroe—the frau’s Ghandi

Somehow, I do not think the devil would be so dainty as to use "Crap!" as his curse word of choice.

I've got some news for you. Fembots have feelings too.

Look out girls!

R1 My dick just exploded.

R22 Even fraus can find inspiration from a quote made by a homophobic nazi bitch such as Coco Chanel.

From the Boss Lady collection!

You stupid fraidycat ass bitch.

R9 is good! Some of these aren’t bad. It’s the banal cliche ones like live laugh love that are annoying.

R13, Your Target has a bakery? Where are these, in the grocery part? Don’t remember seeing fresh baked goods at any Target in my area. The cafe maybe?

Sassy squatter

You got this!

^^^she believed she could make her sister and her mom buy twenty bottles of essential oils and she did!

These women think they are being so cute with that whole "omgwine!!!!" shit. Yeah, it's really cute that you require alcohol to deal with your life choices.

No, R8, the one in needlepoint in every DLer's home is the same one its author, the pre-Parker wit Alice Roosevelt, actually had embroidered on cushions:

IF YOU HAVE NOTHING GOOD TO SAY ABOUT ANYBODY - COME AND SIT BY ME.

This thread is so heartwarming. I'm cradling my mug as I type.

The Hallmark Channel Christmas movies are coming soon, bitches!

While wearing your handknitted sweater and showing off your manicure, R33. You've really got it going on.

I want what she’s having in that mug. It must be something very soothing, indeed.

This is the mother of all frau mottos:

Thank heavens none of my straight women friends are frauen yet. I'd strangle them if they spouted such banal, sentimental nonsense in my presence.

White American and British frauen are the most annoying, entitled, slap worthy creatures in the world.

Keep on dreamin, bitch.

These kick-ass mottoes are encouraging me to live my best life!

Quick, where's a mug I can cradle?

[quote] That's why he cheated on me with Randy

Fixed that for you, Beckeisha.

This sounds ambiguous...

Me: Sometimes I know there is a frau inside me screaming to get out.

Datalounge: Just one, dear?

Just THE one, dear?

I love you to the moon and back! .. said every fucking frau

I have an inner beauty, the kind that no one else can see.

When "cunt" has lost all its meaning, "bitch" will make a comeback.

I recoil whenever I see those cheesy calligraphy fonts on anything.

R39 is for the wives of the newly out and scandalmongers.

I just dated a guy for two weeks who would regularly send me things like this—not ironically. He was relentlessly upbeat and spoke almost exclusively in buzzwords and catchphrases. It was as if hadn't been born by a human person, but had congealed in a beaker at Facebook Labs.

So you rode him until you couldn't take it any more, R51?

[R51] Did you say “you got this” and “love means never having to say sorry” when you dumped him?

Oh my gosh! This is so me! I feel like there will be some new products on my Etsy in the future! :)

For when there is no mug to cradle.......

This isn’t very inspirational, more an indication that professional intervention may be needed to move this catatonic frau out of the bed.

The world is your pearl, girl!

Frau catnip!

Tagline for the next season of I Am Cait.

Unless your son is a gayling...

It's Opiate O'Clock Somewhere in the World, Right????

You had me at heroin.

Don't make Mommy SMACK you!

Oxy is my spiritual animal!