Let's be Australia

I'm that giant spider and that giant snake and that giant lizard and that giant rodent.

I'm avocado toast.

I’m insatiable bottom Dacre Montgomery, cruising for peen around Melbourne, x

I’m insatiable bottom Dacre Montgomery, cruising for peen around Melbourne, x

I'm the naked surfer posing for the camera!

Im Margo Robbie

I’m a depressing and racist Chris Lilley series.

I'm the puzzling dearth of any real cultural accomplishments in music, film, or theater.

I’m the weird way of hanging up on the phone, going “bye” all soft and high-pitched.

None of us are the Nazi Andrew Dolt. There's not enough drugs in the world to play that role...

The correct line is "A dingo took my baby!"

I’m the clueless Americans who have never left their home town, let alone their country, making the same old unfunny comments about a country that they have no hope of visiting.

I'm the poisonous snakes!

And even more poisonous spiders, jellyfish, lizards, toads, platypuses, jellyfish, stonefish, octopuses, bees...

I’m the unwritten question mark? With which all Australians end every sentence? Whether it’s a question or not?

I'm a shrimp on the bahbee....

I asked this in another Aussie thread and never got an answer. Can anyone explain the breathy, mewling "bye" when ending a phone call? Even the most deep-voiced men do it.

I’m the gay men on every corner, closeted or not

I've been to Oz, r12. May I be allowed to make "the same old unfunny comments?'

No one in Australia calls them 'shrimps'. We call them prawns. They called them shrimps in those horrid Dundee movies because if they'd have said prawns Americans wouldn't know what he was talking about. No Australian other than Paul Hogan has ever said 'shrimp on the bahbee....'

I'm the knife (the other one isn't a knife).

I'm the shark that ate Harold Holt *burp*.

I'm the bigoted, racist Aussie whom the world ignores because Oz is politically and culturally irrelevant.

I'm Australia's health care system that has FREE healthcare for ALL its citizens

It's so FREE that its citizens are encouraged to purchased additional PRIVATE HEALTH COVERAGE.

r24 learn some facts. You can elect to pay for private health in Australia if you so wish. This gives you treatment in private hospitals and no wait times. In the public system you may have to wait for non life threatening operations and you'll most likely have to share a room. With private health there is no wait time for any procedure and you'll have your own private room in a private hospital. People are encouraged to pay for private health because it lessons some of the financial burden from the government. It is not 'additional' health cover, you'll get the same care in a public hospital for free you will just most probably have to wait for it.

I've been to Western Australia so I'm entitled to poo on it!

Not only the dingo took her baby, the white men took our babies too!!!!! Shame shame shame!!!!!

#lessens

I'm the didgeridoo that was used on a gay porn set.

I'm the trendy indoor-outdoor cafe on every street corner, even in regional towns.

R25 Paying for supplemental "private health care" also provides a choice of hospitals, doctors and what amounts to a much improved service. Oz's health care system is two-tiered; basic and long waits for those who can't afford better and step right this way superior for those who can.

Here we sent boys to Catholic boot camps to have them sexually abused, thousands of them!!!!!!! Such fun!!!!

I'll be the meat in the Vegemite sandwich.

I'm the criminals everyone is descended from!

r33 of course no free settler or immigrant ever set foot in Australia.

I’m the skin cancer center in every mini mall - no appointment necessary!

It's far better that "basic", R30. People who have private health cover often elect to go public if they have an emergency, because the quality of treatment they're going to get as a public patient is going to be absolutely acceptable. Since in an emergency you don't get to choose your doctor and there's no waiting, the key things people use private cover for don't apply. The State will allow you to do this.

If care were substantially less, people would insist on being admitted to private hospitals. However, the specialists who work in private hospitals also work in the major public teaching hospitals (sharing their days per week around), so if you need a difficult emergency operation you're almost certainly going to be sent to one of those and get a top specialist. (Of course, if you live in the country and not near a major centre, you're going to be stuffed anyway just because of the geography.)

The only real difference between the way the system serves rich and poor, at least in the cities, is the waiting times for elective surgery (eg knee replacements, cataract surgery).

What is a mini mall, R35?

r36 You are right. However I know of wealthy people who do not have private health and people who struggle to make ends meet who do. It can be a class thing, or it can be just a priority thing.

[quote]However, the specialists who work in private hospitals also work in the major public teaching hospitals (sharing their days per week around), so if you need a difficult emergency operation you're almost certainly going to be sent to one of those and get a top specialist

I don't know where you are mate, but it never worked like that in Melbourne. You had supplemental, the specialist had all the time in the world for you. If you didn't, a specialist may - and that's a big MAY - give you 5 min of his time. Actually work on you? Not in Melbourne mate.

r39 I too know of specialists who work at both public and private hospitals. Some may not, but some do.

For you, R39.

This is closer to reality R41:

Too many Australian doctors are splitting their time between public and private hospitals, undermining efficiency and potentially contributing to delays for patients, a health system expert says.

A study of eight groups of specialists found most of them worked in both the public and private systems each week, [bold]and most spent the majority of their time with private patients[/bold].

I'm a big hunk of spunk!

I'm Peter Allen who still called Australia home though I have an American accent.

I'm the budgie that has been smuggle into a fit, young lifesaver's groin.

*smuggled!

Im the funnel web spider

I’m the most racist country in the world

I'm the handsome cockatoo!

(I bet you've seen a cock a too!!)

I’m the “suburbs” that occupy about 95% of the land area of every city.

I’m Bindi Irwin. Armed with a crimping iron and a Ritalin prescription, I’m ready to take the world by storm.

Stay in character.

If you want to discuss healthcare in Australia, start your own bloody thread. This is a “Let’s Be...” thread.

I'm the token Asian on the every soap opera!

I'm the sea that has girt the land.

I'm the chicken salt.

I'm all the actors who are credited as Aussies but actually born somewhere else.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

I'm the public image of Australians being wild and sporty as well as the reality of their being quite reserved.

I’m a hotel that’s actually just a bar.

Hi, I'm Golden Gaytime!

It's hard to have me on your own.

I’m the huge, silent, menacing kangaroo loitering with intent. On public crossways. After dark.

I'm the Outback Steakhouse that doesn't exist here.

We're the names Kylie, Kailee, Kylereigh, Keelee, etc.

If you have one of us, don't bother lying about your age. We all know that you were born before 1978.

I'm the alcoholism.

R16 I'm an Aussie and I don't recognise what you're generalising about. Do you have a Youtube clip to demonstrate this habit?

R8 We produced Peter Allen and Hugh Jackman, Peter Finch and Errol Flynn.

In terms of serious concert music, I recommend Ross Edwards who's kind of similar to Jon Adams

I'm the films about the horrific treatment of Black Fellahs written, produced and directed by White Fellahs.

I'm the Tall Poppy Syndrome and the reason why Aussie singers, actors, directors, etc. move to England and the US for fame and fortune.

Ok then R19 , I'm another PRAWN chucked on the bahbeee...

I'm the magpie who likes to dive bomb.

Here's a sign about me.

I’m the sad truth that Australia just isn’t funny.

I'm New Zealand. I have nothing important to say. But I belong somewhere in this thread. Right?

I'm the dog on the tuckerbox.

I am the hot surfer boy that you want in your bed.

RUOK R73? https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-07-28/gundagai-dog-on-tuckerbox-vandalised/11354422

I'm an Aussie and we're being discriminated against!

Datalounge has imposed a paywall against us but NOT against the Canadian gossip thread.

We have to pay a fee now and we're being treated like those obsessive ratbags in the Cavill and C.m.b.y.n. threads.

I'm a refugee being warehoused on Manus Island by Australia.

I'm a taxpayer who doesn't like being subjected to Emotional Blackmail by strangers.

These freeloading strangers want me to feed them, clothe them, house them, educate them, medicate them, entertain them, sewer them and police them when we already have too many people in this big desert of a nation.

R78 this is R77 - I actually agree with you - I should have signed the post SHY.

I'm the yearning to travel the world, because everything is so far away. I'm also the keen interest in celebrities, for much the same reason.

Can I also be the often stuck-in-the-70s home decor?

I'm Pauline Hansons bellybutton.

I'm Australia in 2050 and I'm nothing but a succession of ghost towns along my coast. I've been mostly abandoned since becoming entirely uninhabitable due to climate collapse.

I'm the red back on the toilet seat.

I'm the odd marsupial.

I'm the store that closes at 5pm.

I'm the suburb that you wouldn't walk alone in after 7pm.

I'm a map of Tasmania

I'm the 'lifestyle' that Australians don't stop talking about but never actually define.

I’m an Australian who started a personal training business in L.A.

Americans are desperate for attention and love accents!

I'm the Prime Minister that changes every 18 months.

I'm the three slabs of VB, 4 wine casks and esky full of more beer/wine carried by two yabbos to knock back in celebration of Oz Day.

[quote]I'm the Outback Steakhouse that doesn't exist here.

Outback is the only authentic Australian food in America!

I'm New Zealand, and I don't apprushiate that our accint guts muxed up with theirs.

I’m the current Prime Minister, a devout Christian, and I worship every Sunday in a mega -church where everybody sings and dances. My Christian views extend to showing no compassion to the refugees being warehoused on the islands surrounding Australia and refusing to vote in the same-sex marriage plebiscite.

I'm Platypussy!

I'm the Queen. Do I have a role here?

R96 Yes dear, you are meant to run the place, and frankly we would all be better off if you took a more hands on approach (I think?)

I’m the miss fisher mystery series that was a dustier version of PBS’ Mystery series.

R57 hilarious and spot on

I'm Scott Morrison and I've only been in office for less than a year and I'm wondering who you (at R96) are so angry and intolerant.

Have you suffered in any way because of me?

I am Princess Michael. I grew up here, above my mother's hair salon.

I'm the complainer at R8.

I admit I hadn't realised that I shouldn't judge the small cultural output of all those non-European countries around the world. They haven't yet had the time or population to sustain and nurture culture the way that Europe has.

Actually I'm r8. Why are you pretending to be another poster you weirdo?

I'm the person wondering why R8 is so puzzled that a new nation like Australia has such 'a dearth of cultural accomplishments'.

I am the best Thai food in the world, including Thailand.

R65 - Peter Finch was British.

R106 The late Peter Finch was as Australian as whatever you believe you are.

R66 There will be LOTS of sentiment and handwringing in this film.

There will also be LOTS and LOTS of over-dramatised speculation because there's a dearth of documentary evidence (and hardly any to justify the horror you feel R66).

All the actors will be mixed-race biracial in order to make it more empathetic to bring in the customers. And it will be highly subsidised by the taxpayers (just like the Bangara Dance Theatre 85% of whose audience is made up of public servants surreptitiously given free tickets over the last ten years).

Dinky Dies Born Elsewhere:

Guy Pearce (England)

Mel Gibson (US)

Peter Finch (England)

Keith Urban (New Zealand)

Naomi Watts (England)

Russell Crowe (New Zealand)

Sophie Monk (England)

Sam Worthington (England)

Isla Fisher (Oman/England)

PM Julia Gillard (Wales)

John Farnham (England)

Derryn Hinch (New Zealand)

John Waters (England)

Hugo Weaving (Nigeria/England)

(Nicole Kidman was born in Honolulu to Aussie parents)

R108 Wasn't your mob that was stolen from their families and shipped off to be raised White, was it White Fellah?

I am the Tim-Tams.

I am the Cherry Ripes, Violet Crumbles and One with the Lot.

R110. I'd prefer to be raised by foster parents instead of being raped by my father.

I'm Porpoise Spit and I've never recovered from Muriel and Rhonda abandoning me like that. I don't want that cunt Tanya. Why won't any other town have her?

R113 so having read that article it seems most of their problems having nothing to do with white man!

I'm Ava Gardner commenting that she came to the end of the earth to make a movie about the end of the world.

I'm the militantly ignorant population.

r116 She was talking about Melbourne, and she's right. And I'm an Australian.

r117 Ignorance is the average American who doesn't know where Australia is. Then again, Bush jnr did call it Austria.

I'm Ann Miller, the first Hollywood movie star to visit the country.

I’m the one pavlova to rule them all.

The Yanks soldiers in Melbourne during WW2 described it as "Half the size of a New York cemetery and twice as dead".

R113 R115 Learn something.

I'm Mel Bourne. I worked for Woody Allen.

I’m the horrific treatment of the Aboriginal people that still continues today

I'm the great kindness shown to my 92 year old mother when she last visited Australia. She loves to meet new people, but as her hearing isn't the best conversation is difficult. No one was impatient, no one looked bored, people helped without lessening her dignity.

nice to hear r125

Thankyou r125 . We're not all the uncultured savages everyone else here will have you think.

I'm the Hills Hoist rotary clothesline in nearly every suburban backyard:

I'm the little factoid I learned yesterday, that Savannah Guthrie was born in Australia.

I’m the cute Aussie Gay boy’s sense of self-deprecating humour.

Unlike America, or other British Colonies at the time, Australia NEVER had slaves. Arthur Phillip was told he was not to put the aboriginal people into slavery and while he was governor the relationship between that of the government and the aboriginal people was quite cordial. It was the free settlers who fought and massacred native Australians, not the government.

The government removal of aboriginal children, while in hindsight was the wrong thing to do, was at the time thought to be the best course of action. The oftentimes squalid and poor conditions in which some of these children lived, coupled with the complete absence of education and healthcare was deemed enough for their removal. The government believed it was acting in good faith and in a lot of circumstances it was.

Prime Minister Kevin Rudd formally apologised to the aboriginal people for past atrocities and for the last forty plus years the government has allocated funds to every aboriginal person in Australia via a government pension scheme regardless of age or asset, a pension no white person is allocated. The government financially assists in the health care and education of aboriginal people. even obtaining low-cost housing and interest-free home loans.

What you're not told is that a lot (but by no means all) aboriginal people refuse to send their children to school and refuse to seek healthcare. Domestic violence, sexual assault and drug and alcohol abuse is rife amongst aboriginal communities. Despite financial assistance and social welfare a lot of aboriginal people choose to live destitute, self-destructive and abusive lives.

The problem has always been white man trying to persuade, or force, the aboriginal people to live like Europeans. This has never worked and never will. Perhaps it would have been better to leave them to their own devices and live the way they had always lived.

I am 90 percent of the country that is uninhabitable.

I'll do bareback in the outback.

I'm the sensible gun reform that got enacted after the Port Arthur Massacre.

I'm the mattress that John Jarratt fucked his female flatmate who, whom she later claimed he'd rapped her. It we to trial and John rightfully got off.

I’m an ANZAC biscuit. Not sure why.

I'm Ayers Rock that I climbed up before they changed the name of it and banned tourists from the top.

They had metal plaques screwed into the rock along the trail up the side commemorating people who had fallen to their deaths. It was exhilarating!

R136 I'm Vegemite and I'm equally confused.

I'm the New Zealander who is pacing furiously because someone mistook him for an Australian and he can't understand why.

I'm Foreign Minister Marise Payne.

I used to be Defense Minister but they kept confusing me with the RAN's ships.

When I was in Parliament I needed two chairs and a Travellator to get up and out of the Senate Chamber and was too large to sit in Business Class.

I’m the turn indicator and windshield-wiper stalks that are mounted on opposite sides from most of the rest of the world, so even British tourists get us wrong.

I'm the professional wrestler who does mild porn for charity.

I live in that little town on the west side which has the BEST climate in the world.

I may be taking the body issue too far; not everyone wants a body which looks like some beast from 'GoT'.

I'm the house hunter that wants a place with three "beadrooms."

I'm the raise-up-lights every good Aussie uses for shaving.

I'm the heaps of sand in the outback.

I’m a fair and equitable universal healthcare system for all. I’m gun control that has halted all mass shootings since implemented two decades ago.

But you Americans wouldn’t know what those are.

I'm a small pile of ash which is all that's left from Margot Robbie's original birth certificate .

I'm Australia, a British colony in the 19th century.

I'm Australia, an American colony in the 20th century.

I'm Australia, a Chinese colony in the 21st century.

I’m a fly. I’ll always be with you. You will never be rid of me. Because I’m a fly. I will annoy you half to death. Wave me away and I’ll be back in 5 seconds, for I am a fly. Wear a stupid hat with corks on it and it won’t deter me at all. I’m a fly. I’m a fly. I’m a fly. I’m a fly. I’m a fly.

I'm Pauline Hanson's burka.

I'm lying Carnita Matthews' burka.

I don't wear it is prison.

I'm Jeannie Little's refugee fix.

I am the more than thousand humans who died because Julia Gillard said she would open her heart to strangers.

I'm the rather crass and boorish sense of humor frequently exhibited by Aussies living and working in the US that Americans "just don't get."

I’m Kylie, your Dance Diva Goddess:

I'm one of the Lamingtons many love to devour. Please, don't eat me mate!

What a stupid name for a cookie!

I'm the Darrell Lea liquorice.

I suck.

Oh how sad you feel like that R158, more for me then! Australian licorice is the best. Some of the oldest and most natural manufacturers left Britain for Australia. Great memories of Australian friends bringing licorice back to me in Britain. Warning: many contain flour, or the dreaded gluten.... Still delightfultful if you do not suffer celiac disease.

The licorice flavor isn't that bad if you like licorice, but I remember so many of their flavors tasted a bit off: the gasoline flavor, the fluoride rinse flavor, the vaguely fruit flavor - all had strange aftertastes. Noticeably so.

R160 Well, there is that to be sure with other candies, and drinks. I should include to my warning that the real licorice can raise BP too. I'm not quite sure how much one would need to eat to cause serious problems, but much of what passes as licorice in much of the world is synthetic like those off flavours you mention.

I'm the sheep, that live in fear of oversexed Aussies.

I'm Joan Sutherland, born in Sydney.

[quote]But you Americans wouldn’t know what those are.

We would if we had your population, cockie.

I'm "no" somehow spoken with two syllables.

I'm Johnny O'Keefe - Australia's first rock star?

I'm the Australian Salute, used incessantly in a totally futile attempt to get rid of R149.

I'm Chooklotto.

I'm the Trans-Tasman Agreement, which allowed 20% of New Zealand to migrate to Australia for better benefits and weather.

I'm the Sydney Gay Madi Gras.

I'm the random Australian guys itching to move to LA to become a star.

I'm the tick that burrowed into Pauline Hanson's cheek just prior to the last federal election.

I'm Mick Tay-lah! Nice to meetcha!!!

I'm a dentist but my face cannot be shown on TV.

I'm a Holden Commodore Sportwagon...continually underestimated.

I'm Ja'mie, star of a very funny Aus sitcom Summer Heights High.

I'm Evie Amati.

I sprang to fame after I took an axe and started hacking at strangers two years ago.

But now after two years in prison I have decided to reclaim my penis.

I'm Don Hany's wiggy hair.

I'm Germaine Greer. I want to be considered an intellectual but I'll stoop to doing Celebrity Big Brother.

I told you Australia isn’t funny.

R179 I know Germaine is an easy target but she can be very witty sometimes. One night on Q&A Julie Bishop proclaimed that she 'wasn't an animal'. Germaine drolly asked her "Well what are you dear? Vegetable or mineral?"

R179 Germaine is an easy target for 21st century bitches but she's an important international figure in 20th century history. She also prophesied a lot of fundamental things which are too serious to discuss in a flippant, trivialising place like Datalounge.

I'm the 2020 renewable energy target they're going to meet despite the deplorable Abbott government's best efforts to thwart it.

I'm the Australian idiot who bleats about Climate Change while driving a car and getting a half-garbage-bin's worth of plastic packaging each time I go to Coles and Woollies.

R170 I'm the young hustler who wants to drop "gay and lesbian" from the name of the Sydney Mardi Gras Parade.

I want it to be a bigger money-spinner and it's already 70% heterosexual now.

G’day.

How yer going, darl?

I'm a bogan, and I am proud about it for no reason whatsoever!

I'm a modern Australian and I refuse to join the current fashion for self-hatred.

I'm Norman Gunston, considered a funny character in the 1970s.

I'm Molly Meldrum. I finally came out after my career tanked and it wouldn't matter.

Oi'm Miss Ginar Liano from Melbun, and you're an insignificant ass hair.

i am Cody Fern

I'm Flo Bjelke-Petersen's recipe for Pumpkin Scones.

I’ve never been to me:

I’m a gorgeous Australian bachelor of a certain age, and endowed with singing and performing talent, that has taken me everywhere, including the Big Apple:

I'm the Sydney Opera House, the 8th wonder of the world.

I'm Pauline Hanson's One Nation Orange T-Shirt that she sells. I'm made in China!

R197

You look like copulating clams.

R199 No, we are the copulating 'cornette'-wearing Daughters of The Charity of St. Vincent de Paul.

Do the cornettes copulate, R200, or the nuns?

I'm told the clam reference was Princess Anne's upon first seeing the Opera House as she sailed into Sydney Harbor.

Cheers for Germaine Greer! Love her.

I am a judge who really ought to sentence this deranged psychopath axe swinger to life in prison, as we all know this creature - if released - will pick up the axe again.

But it is Australia, so perhaps in six months or so, the Lady of the Axe will be re-unleashed on the Australian public.

I'm an Australian who's dismayed by Australian magistrates who say the solution to Australia's gaols (which are overcrowded with thugs and rapists) is to hand out suspended sentences so those thugs and rapists can live out their 'suspended sentences' in our suburbs.

I'm Eero Saarinen. My father was a famous architect in Chicago and way back in 1957 I was asked to judge some architecture competition down somewhere at the bottom of the world.

All the entries were very boring but I broke the rules and chose a fellow-Scandinavian to get the prize. The Scandinavian's charcoal sketches looked like something from 'The 'Jetsons' and they were so vague as to be useless.

Anyway I stole the design for my TWA Terminal at JFK Airport. Mine took 5 years to build while the Australians took 16 years to build their opera house.

And didn't the Australians persecute/prosecute Jørn Utzon, the architect, for porn or was that planted in his luggage because they didn't like something else about him?

I'm Eugene Goossens the Belgian composer/conductor who was hounded out for having porn.

Some say it was gay, but no one really knows. Some say it was 'paganistic' because I consorted with this wacko beatnik

I'm all the Australian beef that looks like it's juuust on the brink of being exported to Hollywood, but then returns to the home shores for some unknown reason.

I'm the ghost of Coral Browne. I was Vera Charles in the movie and Mrs. Vincent Price in real life.

I was celebrated for my wit. When a giant phallus was unveiled at the climax of Peter Brook’s production of Oedipus, I turned to my companion, Alec Guinness, and inquired: “Is it anyone we know, dear?”

I'm the ghost of Coral Browne and I was typecast as a tart bitch from my first films in 46 and 47 with the painfully sugary Anna Neagle.

I’m the Pixel. But this isn’t all of me.

William Barak on the other side

Pay attention to R206, R205.

Utzon was hounded out of Australia for a completely different reason. (That he was taking too long to build the Opera House, and had found himself in the middle of a political shitstorm. This was, in brief, caused by the early death of the Premier who authorised the building, and the ganging up on him of key luvvies of the day, notably the head of the Sydney Symphony Orchestra.)

We never got any of the theatre interiors that Utzon designed. The Drama Theatre looks and behaves like a cinema (a letterbox with no wings) because that's exactly what it was originally supposed to be. I loathe Arts luvvies.

I'm the Sydney Harbour Bridge. Hand over $200 and you climb me and freak out at the top from vertigo.

I’m a threw for your carch.

I'm the tragic last Thylacine. It's heartbreaking to imagine it dying alone.

I'm curious about R196.

You talk as though you have achieved some level of intimacy with this singer. Did he 'take' you far? Is he intimate with this other Antipodean singer?

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

I’m a quokka. Some bogans think it’s fun to travel to Rottnest Island and kill cute little me.

I am Ralph de Bricassart.

We are coming for the cats. We will kill all cats in Australia so you better lock up your little Mittens/Tiger/Boo while the cat massacre is going down.

^ I don't believe that story for a minute. But Australia can't even be Deadly Serious About Killing the Millions of hideous, poisonous Cane Toads which are munching their way through the North-east part of the continent.

Australia didn't do anything about the Crown of Thorns starfish which have been eating and bleaching the Great Barrier Reef coral since the 1960s. It's only now that some people are squawking that the bleaching is caused by increasing sea temperatures.

I'm the picnic at Hanging Rock

Yes R221 the NYT is now propagating false news.

I guess Australia news sites aren't in on the hoax.

CNN also propagating the cat killing hoax...

Even Snopes says it's true: Australia is killing off millions of stray cats! And with poisoned sausages....as well as bullets and crossbows...

I don't see how any dog or cat manages to survive in Australia. There's poison bait everywhere, and the poor things are also torn apart by all the hostile creatures that inhabit that country.

I hate my countries attitude towards cats - they should a protected species. Watch when they get rid of them all we will have a rat & mice plague.

The Victorian government pleaded with cat owners to keep their cats inside because they were killing off the lyrebird population. Its pleas fell on deaf ears, so they quietly started going out and culling cats.

Australia has a long history of mindlessly introducing foreign species with disastrous results. Rabbits were introduced for food and hunting from the First Fleet and became such a pest that several fences, one 3,000 km long north to south, were built in Western Australia to halt their advance. Cane toads were introduced in 1935 to control the cane beetle in Qld sugar plantations. They not only had little to no effect on the cane beetle, they multiplied so quickly that there are now over 200 million of the destructive little buggers spread from NSW to the Northern Territory.

R228 The worst species introduced to Australia is the white fella.

R229 Too right!

[quote]I hate my countries attitude towards cats - they should a protected species.

You do know cats that are allowed to roam free have decimated the bird population around the world, right? Cats are only one species but they're doing untold damage to hundreds of bird species and are pushing them to extinction in some places. The rat and mice population outside can never be managed with cats alone as they're completely ineffective in dealing with them in sufficient numbers.

Keep your fucking cats indoors and there will be no problem. And sterilise them while you're at it. I really admire Australians for dealing with invasive species head-on. One good thing that's come out of their awful federal government.

R231 My cats are sterilised (they are all rescue cats) and I live in the fucking inner city of Sydney so I don't let them out of the house for THEIR safety against the biggest threat of all - cat haters. Birds spread disease.

R21 I'm the Australian humor when naming a public swimming pool after the late Harold Holt.

r5 Isn't the Hawaiian Speedo boy who got kicked out of college for jacking off in one of the lecture halls?

I'm the forensic anthropological findings that suggests aborigines were beating up their females before Bad White Fella came along.

I'm a lovable larrikin.............

I'm the shortening of already rather short words - lippie for lipstick, addie for address, etc.

"We're taking the kiddies and prezzies to Brissie for Chrissie".

We’re the burnouts.

Stroike me roan!

Y'all are so negative. Aussies can be friendly.

I’m the air of white-bread suburbia that’s in every Aussie be they from the outback or Sydney.

I'm Cody Fern's fashion sense.

I'm the bifurcated kanga dick the ugly sheilas prefer over bogan meat whistles.

I'm the refugees on Manus island, stuck in indefinite limbo.

I'm the Aeroplane Jelly for breakfast, dinner, and tea.

I'm the affluent Sri Lankan who paid big money to a professional people-smuggler who put me in a leaky boat in the middle of the Indian Ocean.

But thankfully I was rescued by the Australian navy and spent some time in the free, well-run accommodation on a lovely tropical island named Manus Island. But I missed my loved ones and took up the generous free offer of an airline ticket to my original island home.

I'm glad I'm not one of those thousands who drowned on the other leaky boats.

I’m the White Christmas.

I'm the Australian economy.

People tell me I'm healthy but my investment market yields only 1%. There's NO incentive to save!

I'm a vegemite sandwich.

Bogan Australian men don't like cats because they believe if they were to like a cat it would demasculinize them. They see cats as effeminate, so they must be killed. Killing cats asserts your masculinity.

I'm the Albert Namatjira painting hung in many homes in the 1970s.

I'm the Google page which says The Queen had a Namatjira painting hung in her house in 1947. She met him in the 1954 coronation tour and afterwards there was discussion about an MBE for him.

Oh honey, the Queen doesn't have a house, she has palaces and castles, houses are for common people, like you.

I'm Ivan Milat who did the country a great service in deterring those hideous foreigner backpackers by murdering them.

I’m the gorgeous bum of singer-actor Tim Draxl.

I’m much celebrated on his Instagram, making frequent - and appreciated - appearances in various stages of undress.

I’m the gorgeous bum of singer-actor Tim Draxl.

I’m much celebrated on his Instagram, making frequent - and appreciated - appearances in various stages of undress.

I’m the gay remittance men sent out from England so as not to cause family embarrassment. We had a fabulous time Oz!

I'm the Queensland manual arts teacher from the 1980s with a handle bar mustache, dress shorts and knee high socks. I'm also a narrow-minded relic.

I'm the woke SJW Greenie Australian who likes to criticise his nation.

We’re the Targets and Kmarts owned by Wesfarmers. Our logos —just the tiniest bit off — may lead you to believe we’re related to the American stores, but we don’t know her.

I'm the joyful music of Ross Edwards.

This may be a picture of a bleak landscape but the music is quite different.

OMG r259 you went to my school?

I'm the country that prosecutes Bill Posters.

R264 Poor William "Bill" Posters!

I'm the bogan tradies that Australia considers social elites over classy, educated people.

I'm the DLer who's confused by what R266 is saying.

Can you give us a name, an example or a Youtube video?

I'm Australia's lazy and destructive economic management which centres on turbo-charged mass immigration and reducing wages.

I am the mysterious Junie Morosi.

I'm the intense young man who needs to stab two women while shouting Allahu Akbar in the centre off the Sydney CBD.

I've got woolly mop of hair like Dzhokhar Tsarnaev and when the police drag me away my trousers are dragged down my slim hips exposing my black bikini briefs.

And I'm the Aussie blokes who chased him and caught him and held him till the police arrived, using (wait for this, Americans) two chairs and a milk crate.

The good guys don't have to have guns.

R271 They might have found guns more useful than chairs if the bad guy had one, too...

Not minimizing the bystander's bravery - not to mention ingenuity: use what you've got - but one situation is very different than the other.

I'm the 1970s. Every Australian TV show will look like it was filmed in me, even when it was filmed in 2010. My older brother the 1960s reigns supreme in New Zealand.

I'm coffee, and I'm worshipped in Australia to the point that no other nation in the world could possibly have any coffee which comes even remotely close to me in quality. I'm even brought along on vacations to America. That's how pretentiously glorified I am. And flavored coffee? Punishable by death.

I'm coffee, and I'm worshipped in Australia to the point that no other nation in the world could possibly have any coffee which comes even remotely close to me in quality. I'm even brought along on vacations to America. That's how pretentiously glorified I am. And flavored coffee? Punishable by death.

We're the rude, aggressive drivers of Australia, laughing at you as we pass you at 144 km/hour.

I am the cute koala in the animal park that is trotted it out for tourist to have their photograph taken with.

They think I am lovable till they detect with their support hand that I have a greasy, green, wet butt.

We're the indigenous people of Australia, and we respectfully ask you white folks to kindly get the fuck out of our continent.

I'm that tan uncut cock. Yum.

I'm the shorts that end above the knees worn by every tradie. I am rather practice summer wear, but I've been banned on American construction sites since the release of YMCA.

We're the taxpayers of Australia, and we respectfully ask you indigenous people (R278) to stop being so sanctimonious while taking Centrelink money every fortnight of your lives.

I'm Julia Morris. Australia's answer to Lena Dunham.

I’m a wombat. If you hold me on your lap during your visit to a wildlife centre, I will pee on you.

I'm a koala and I can guarantee that I will urinate on you (while I sleep).

We're Marty and Emu.

I'm the morning television.

You do realise r286 that Americans are going to think that's real.

I'm Herbert Hoover, and revisionist republicans don't want you to know I was one of the evil fuckers behind Broken Hill Proprietary Ltd.

R286 I love Channille! (and her Vietnamese overlockers)

I'm the Daily Planet, a well-known whorehouse listed on the Melbourne Stock Exchange

I'm Cate Blanchett's most famous role.

I'm Walter Burley Griffin, the American who designed your capital for you.

The absence of anything even remotely enjoyable to do there beyond the nightly knees-ups was intentional.

I'm Melbourne, the sun has never shone here, ever. It's compulsory to wear all black here, all day. People live at laneway and curbside cafes sipping coffee all day pretending they're in Paris, talking about ugly modern art they know nothing about.

I'm the short lived music career of just about every soap star.

I'm Melbourne's three seasons in one day weather. Because of me, Melburnians don't leave home without an umbrella, a coat and a part of shorts.

I'm Melbourne's famous Cool Change, a shift in the wind that reduces 42C temps to 22C in 15 minutes. In Western Australia, this weather phenomenon is known as the Fremantle (or Freo) Doctor.

I’m Skippy the Bush Kangaroo.

R275 fails to realise that it is specifically American coffee, like American food, which is strange and awful. Flavoured coffee being a striking example. Nobody else does that.

Australians, who are busy travellers, are perfectly happy with the coffee in Europe and the Middle East, which are just like what they get at home. In the same way, a visit to an Italian restaurant in Italy is similar to the same in Australia, but very dissimilar from a visit to an Italian restaurant in the most sophisticated cities of the US, where there are likely to be burgers on the menu and the passata is likely to be tomato paste.

The reason you find food and drink "weird" everywhere else, is that it's weird THERE. Everybody else is judging you, not just Aussies.

It's true, America has the worst coffee I've tasted anywhere in the world

I'm the Little River Band.

I’m Australia ‘s best kept secret.

I'm the ice cream on the pancakes.

I’m the black bikini briefs mentioned at r270.

The cops strip-searched him in the middle of the street, that's why his pants are down.

I'm Jane Badler who gave up a career in sci-fi to become Aussie and a local billionaire's wife.

I'm the late Anne Baxter who temporarily gave up a movie career to be a sheep-owner's wife 300 kilometres from Sydney

I am the Cleo magazine nude male centrefold.

I'm the founding editor of said Cleo magazine, Ita Buttrose, who probably has no idea what a butt rose is!

I'm Paul Keating aka The Grim Reaper. I served as Federal Treasurer in the Hawke Government, then became Prime Minister of Australia in 1991. Not bad for a 14 year old school leaver.

I'm the bin chicken.

I'm the bin chicken.

I love bin chickens.

They add colour and diversity to my city.

I'm Al Grassby, down in the Riverina.

I'm the dinosaur bin chicken, I've been scratching and clawing my way from the hinterland and soon the cornucopia of Sydney's bins will be mine!!!!

I'm Melbourne's Moomba Festival, yet another cultural appropriation by White fellahs looking for any excuse to knock back a few.

I'm the life guards on the beach you all come to stare at while I save your life.

R309 The Bin Chicken was my high-school mascot.

I'm The Jewel of Australia, unmatched in my beauty.

I'm the sock that the delightfully spry radio unpersonality, Alan Jones wants to shove down female prime minister's throats.

I'm Beau Ryan and everybody wants me!

I’m Mick Harvey’s eyebrows.

I'm former Prime Minister, John Howard's bowling skills.

I'm Todd "Bubbler" Carney.

I don't go to the loo alone any more.

I'm Hungry Jacks NOT Burger King!

I'd do Todd Carney, he has a nice butt

I'm Humphrey B. Bear.

We're the Magic Circle Club.

R326 I loved that show as a kid.

We're the adorable rescued baby fruit bats.

Anyone remember hi-5?

I'm Number 96 that brought sex, nudity (including full frontal), gays, trans, rape and others goodies into your lounge room in 1972

I'm Kylie Mole.

no 96 must have sent the pearl-clutching Christian fraus running for their valium.

I'm Plucka Duck.

I'm Wogs Out of Work and Franco Cozzo (from Footescray).

I'm Warwick Capper, former full forward for the Sydney Swans.

I'm Mr. Squiggle.

I'm Rolf Harris and I like to fiddle about, fiddle about, fiddle about....

I'm Noel Watson (with Akubra), singing the best rendition of Waltzing Matilda at the Grand Final.

I'm the Australian who watches the Australian Gogglebox. It's so refreshing to see people on TV who talk like us instead of the usual plastic robots.

What I don't understand is how the camera records them speaking without the sound of the actual TV broadcast at the same time.

R332 - on the contrary, they all seem to have watched and learned! As I recall, there was surprisingly little serious controversy (as opposed to the kind that the network encouraged to draw in viewers).

Number 96 was so popular that in its heyday you could walk up any street in the 'burbs when it was ending and hear the theme music coming out of practically every house you passed.

R330's video shows Vera Collins (the non-pregnant one in the still), who would certainly have become a DL fave had the internet existed at that time.

R340 - Yes Vera would have been a huge hit here. Poor thing always unlucky in love - even her one lesbian fling all ended in tears. Abused by her husband Harry (Norman Yem) and the poor thing was spied on by a lesbian flatmate in season one played by the legendary Hazel Phillips (who is still with us). I remember when Vera was charged with manslaughter for the death of a character called Betty Booth who was having an affair with Harry and as Betty and Vera where fighting at the top of the stairs Betty fell down them and died. Also in the movie of Number 96 which opens with poor Vera having her car breaking down and then some bikies turn up and gang rape her. By all accounts Elaine Lee (who played Vera) was a wonderful person and she played Vera superbly. She passed away a couple of years ago and her funeral was huge and well attended. A real fan favourite.

Maggie Cameron was another great character - an all time bitch - she too would have been popular on the site. Her best moment was of course planting a bomb in the building, which she owned. Such a great great show.

Ben Unwin (Jesse from Home and Away), who was gay and went on to become a lawyer, killed himself last week at 41. Jumped off a cliff.

R341, yes, between them Vera and Maggie (who, you will recall, fancied Don's bisexual boyfriend) chewed so much scenery it must've taken half the budget to replace it.

Along with Vera's, er, unluckiness in love, she was also a psychic and a dress designer. How could the DL resist?

R342: Omg that’s terrible.

I'm a salty gay time!

I'm the Aussie woman duped into smuggling heroin from S.E Asia.

How sad that Ben felt he had no one to help him. I hate those showbiz phonies who make his death all about their grief and I bet never bothered to keep in touch with him after he left the show.

I'm Schapelle Corby.

I'm the breathtaking flora (apart from the parched grass) that everyone seems to take for granted but is the main reason I watch Australian productions.

R342 I don't know how you can say he was gay.

He did it just before his 42nd birthday.

I can say he was gay cause he was!

Not a snarky but a genuine question, r351: how do you know he’s gay? Details please.

I'm the dyke. On a bike. If you like.

I'm the Australian National Anthem. I've changed from G-d Save the Queen to several iterations of Advance Australia Fair, reworded due to sexism and bigotry.

No wonder no one knows the words.

I think there was a report of Ben being seen at a sauna in the Australian gossip thread.

You're terrible Muriel

I'm Aunty Jack.

I'm dingoism, the unfounded belief that Australia is the best country in the world!

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

I'm Sam Armytage, Australia's Megyn Kelly.

I'm Brian Henderson.

True, R354, but at least you can sing it to the tune of Gilligan's Island. (You even get to sing "Our home is girt by sea" twice if you do!)

A slab of Tooheys or VB (or Monteith for the New Zealanders) to anyone who remembers running like hell out of the cinema at the end of the film so they wouldn't have to stand and sing G-d Save the Queen.

I am Liam Hemsworth. I hired a fancy LA lawyer to squeeze my wealthy wife for money. She is worth ten times more than me. We were married just 7 months, but I deserve some type of financial support as my movie career is winding down.

Liam Nepotism Hemsworth knew she was a dyke the whole time

I'm John William Pilbean Goffage also known as Chips Rafferty, born in Broken Hill.

We're Sherbet.

We're Nude Sherbet

I'm John Henry "Jack" Absalom, OAM. I authored several books and TV series teaching urban White fellas the skills for surviving in the outback that I learned as a littlie from Black fellas living out on the Nullabor. I was the last of the dinky die Bushmen.

I’m the insanely catchy early Kylie:

I'm even EARLIER Kylie (and her sister Dannii) on Young Talent Time.

I'm Johnny Young.

I'm Emu Nugent.

I was the Sharpies’ VPL.

Oi!! I'm Jacko!!

I'm the movie 'Australia'. And I'm a bit of a dud!

I'm Baz Luhrmann and I'm a drunk.

I have appeared on the national broadcaster at 10am on a Monday and I was incoherent.

Three of my last five movies are testament to the advice that you should NEVER give a million dollars to a drunk.

Baz Luhrmann has always been incoherent, right back as far as Strictly Ballroom. He's never been able to string two words together (a fact that shows up in any script he dominates). I know interviewers who won't have him on without Catherine because they can't even cut it together later to make sense.

That doesn't rule out his being a drunk, but if he is I don't think that's the only thing standing between him and an interesting interview.

My fantasy interview is him and Molly Meldrum together.

Here's Baz in a Guardian interview:

He and Martin – whom he calls CM – live with their two children, aged 12 and 14. Whether at their homes in New York or Sydney, husband and wife inhabit different floors and sleep separately, convening at the weekend for a hotel date night. Do they still have sex? “Yeah, we do. And you know what? She rocks out. She’s a bit of a wolf. She always dresses up in strange costumes.”

And him? “Look, it’s never gonna be like when you were 20. I’m not saying it’s boring, but it becomes part of the ceremony: the intimacy, the talk afterwards. Our relationship is full of acceptance. She knew who I was going in, and I knew who she was. Without going into details, we’ve lived a pretty boho life. There’s nothing about either of us that the other one doesn’t know. We have our way, and that works for us.”

I'm Paulus Henrique Benedictus Cox (16 April 1940 – 18 June 2016) known as Paul Cox, a Dutch-Australian filmmaker, who has been recognized as "Australia's most prolific film auteur".

I'm the Aussie movie audience who was happy to go pay to watch Aussie movies in the 1980s, 80s and 90s.

But we lost interest in our own movies over the last decade. They're too few of us to support self-indulgent "art-house" movie-makers like the aforementioned Paulus Cox R381.

No way did Baz say something that fluent, R380. He may have voiced sentiments broadly in line with what was reported, but sentences? with proper punctuation? I don't think so.

I'm Deni Hines, rumored to be the 'Unicorn on 'Masked Singer Australia'.

I'm Jonathan Swan bursting out of shirt and surprisingly getting engaged to a woman.

On the topic of Aussie directors: I was at a film festival far from Oz at a screening of Rabbit Proof Fence by Philip Noyce. I had the misfortune to sit directly in front of Noyce, who kept a running commentary going about the film to a festival official during the screening. I'd finally had a gutful, turned around and said to Noyce, "Give it a rest, mate, will ya? I came to see yer bloody film, not listen to you yammer". He was gobsmacked, probably because he didn't expect to find an Aussie at the screening. And he never said another word.

I'm the stolen generation. A generation of children stolen from the families due to white arrogance.

I'm Maggie Tabberer.

I'm Joan Child, AO. I was the first woman Speaker of the House of Representatives. Crickey! It was like being it charge of a bunch of littlies at creche.

I'm the carry over champion on Saaale of the Century!!!!

We're John Burgess and Adriana Xenides. We're far better at it than Barber and Delaney.

I'm Clive Robertson. I'm living proof that not everyone born in the back of beyond (Katoomba) is a brainless Ocker.

I'm Graham Kennedy, comedian, entertainer, star of film and television and as dinky die as they come.

I'm the spunk from 'Puberty Blues'.

I'm the spunk from 'Puberty Blues'.

I'm the spunk from 'Puberty Blues'.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

R387 I'm the aboriginals that would beat up the half-caste children that needed to be protected by the 'Bad White Man'.

And, R387, I'm the aboriginal who takes the 'Bad White Man's Centrelink payment every fortnight.

After destroying their culture, heritage and ability to exist with dignity, I'm the White fella who damns Aboriginals as bludgers.

I'm the Irish Australian who once made up around 40% of the population but is now relieved that the Welfare State allows me to express my noblesse oblige to all those sundry persons with long-standing, centuries-old grievances.

I'm Hugh Sheridan and I may be having an affair with a young man in showbiz.

I'm Simon Baker who used to be known as Simon Denny and Simon Baker Denny.

We're the 3rd-rate Aussie actors who moved to the US and England and found fame/fortune.

I’m the bespectacled hotness of Simon Baker:

I’m the bespectacled hotness of Simon Baker:

I’m the bespectacled hotness of Simon Baker:

Simon was so beautiful when he was young that I was surprised he didn't go Hollywood sooner.

R404 One of the best comments on this thread!

I'm Hugh Sheridan and no one knows I'm gay, I hide it so well.

I'm the roos randomly duking it out in their parking lots.

I'm the cringe-worthy jealousy every Melbourne native has for Sydney.

I'm Sonia McMahon's daring dress, split both sides to the armpits though held together by rhinestones about two centimetres apart from the waist up, to a dinner for her husband hosted by President Richard Nixon in 1971.

Update on the Sheridan saga.

I'm the Holden Kingswood Ute, transport of choice for brickies and bushmen.

I'm Julian McMahon, son of scantily-clad Sonia mentioned in R413 and former Oz PM William. I'm another one of those talentless but oh-so-handsome Aussie actors that Yanks can't seem to get enough of.

I'm Judith Anderson, born in Adelaide.

We're The Seekers.

I'm angry at the second-raters on 'Australian Survivor'.

They acknowledged their slimy, second-rate weakness by banding together to evict Shaun Hampson the most beautiful and talented of the competitors.

It was democracy at its worst. It was Mobocracy.

I'm Maureen McCormick, who won the Aussie's hearts on their version of "I'm a Celebrity".

I'm a group of bogans on their cheap holiday in Southeast Asia

And I'm bogans who couldn't even afford a cheap holiday.

We go to Bali cause it's $200 a week and we can say we've been overseas

I'm Sister Janet Mead.

I'm Dannii, who was married to that Julian guy above and *allegedly walked in on him and a slutty co-star on that charming little show he was on.

I'm the clueless tourist who thinks she's a Disney princess and tries to feed the birds, but ends up getting bullied by a flock of cockatoos.

I'm the due respect given to our PMs by the citizens:

We're the Three Sisters.

^ We're big and mute.

^ Visitors can climb on us because we're agnostic rock.

Whereas the rock in the middle of the continent 1500 miles away is a religious rock.

I'm an Easter Island statue escapee..........

r431 there are certain things money cant buy

I'm a kelpie.

l'm crusty old lesbian Dawn O'Donnell

I'm the newcomer showing disrespect to words in the native language.

(but 99% of those languages are misspelled because they're translated phonetically without documentation)

I'm the newcomer arriving by boat claiming asylum. I return the compliment by having a 'sexual emergency' and masturbating over a stolen 3 year old child in a shopping centre stairwell.

(I'm sexy with big muscles)

I'm R435 (who also posted gazillion other times on this thread), a proud White Supremacist bogan and the reason why we Canadians, when visiting Australia, feel like we've stepped into a time machine that has just taken us back to 1950s when such shit could still fly in Canada.

I'm the grumpy Canadian tourist who likes to complain and who talks about his 'flying shit".

I'm the happy quokka!!!

(a great scrabble word, by the by!)

I'm Bill Collins and died in June. Where was my street parade?!

I'm Georgie Stone and I'm playing the first trans character on Neighbours! ScoMo won't be happy.

I'm Ivan Milat. I was responsible for a spate of serial killings that took place in New South Wales between 1989 and 1993.

R440 It's held every February in Sydney Bill.

DL will think Ivan was hot.

R437 I'm the higher rate of immigration per capita of Australia compared to Canada.

R437 I'm the higher rate of immigration per capita of Australia compared to Canada.

I'm the classy, articulate 'Bachelor' contestant, who isn't at all a sign that we are facing extinction as a species.

[quote]I'm the dingooo that ate your baybee!

Thank you so much OP!

I'm Aussie Bum.

Cheeky!!!

I'm Aussie Bum.

Cheeky!!!

I'm the voice, try and understand it.

They could have had Bill Collins lying in state at the State Theatre in Sydney.

I'm Louie the Fly.

I'm the lamb roast that mum's doing.

(That's Naomi Watts, another one of Oz's 3rd-rate actresses that made good elsewhere.)

I'm Mr. Sheen who later became a PM.

I'm Mr Squibble, the man from the moon!

I'm Paul Robinson's ex-wives...

^ I think it's Mr Squiggle??

I liked the blackboard saying Hurry up, Hurry up!

upside down, upside down

We are bullies who shoot defenseless little birds. Ok this one was an asshole but still.

I'm the Ita Buttrose guide to etiquette.

I am North Stradbroke Island.

And I like it.

I'm five '80s hits in a row (John Farnham, Jimmy Barnes, Little River Band, Kylie Minogue, James Reyne).

Magpies are not little, R461.

They come in different sizes but are little compared to humans. I saw a human toddler who was the same height as one trying to touch it once and thought this will end in tears, for the toddler.

I'm the school children forced to run around an oval and told not to worry about the attacking magpies and or plovers.

I'm Helen Demidenko also known as Helen Dale and Helen Darville.

I'm the frozen snow on the Kosciuszko ski slopes.

I'm OOORRRstranlian Survivor!

I hope Pia wins. The smiling assassin!

I'm hoaxtress and nightclub singer Fairlie Arrow.

She ^ was farilie batshit crazy, if I remember correctly!

I'm a dentist, so I can't show my face on Datalounge.

I'm a golden gaytime.

It's so hard to have a gaytime on your own!

I’m a highly educated Aussie who acts super posh and British so as not to be confused with those other Striney types.

Are you typing from 1968, R475? Or are you Geoffrey Robertson?

Nobody acts British any more, because there is no class mileage in it. Riley and Turner were spot-on with the Prue and Trude accents: that's what Australians who went to Good Schools - or would like you to think they did - sound like. It is not related to level of education, only cost thereof.

Highly educated Australians have a big range of accents these days: by no means all Aussie graduates even have English as their first language.

[quote]Are you typing from 1968, [R475]? Or are you Geoffrey Robertson?

[quote]Nobody acts British any more, because there is no class mileage in it.

Made me laugh because I’m not “typing” at all (and *I’m* the one from 1958? Lol) and I’m not whomever that is. But I do work with a woman from Sydney who has the poshest of all possibly British accents and is often mistaken for a Brit. So I guess my answer is “neither, and ... no.”

^^^1968

I'm one of the three high unemployment towns being considered for drug screening for dole program.

I'm the bushfires that are occurring in early spring.

Summer will be hell.

I'm the 1.8 million Australian dollars it will cost to meet DL legend Kylie Minogue.

I'm Long Service Leave and I'm just great little antipodean secret. Stick with the one employer for 10 years and you can take me at full pay for two months.

I am Adore/ Adoration.

Australian boys and their mothers.

R482 and it gets paid out if she stay with an employer for at least four years, and then quit!

R484 When I was working I got 3 months the first 10 years and then 9 days added on for every additional year. I never took my leave until a year before I retired and then took some LSL at half pay. We also had 'purchased leave' where you could buy additional annual leave - it meant getting less pay but you got more days off work so I used to always be purchasing leave as well.

[quote]Stick with the one employer for 10 years and you can take me at full pay for two months.

Long-service leave used to be 3 months after 10 years. In addition to the 9-day fortnight, one-month annual leave, 8-10 days public holidays. Vic. workers get a public holiday for a horse race called Cup Day (Melbourne Cup).

Who gets a 9-day fortnight, R486? Or are you referring to workers on flexi-time or rosters, who can work the hours of 10 days in 9 and then get a day off in lieu of overtime? That's rather different.

I'm a whitey mcwhite alpha male disguised as an SJW

I'm Uncle Sam deodorant whom you need.

I'm Gladys Liu and I've been a very naughty girl....

I'm Mr. Wong.

R490 Gladys Lui and not me! - Julie Bishop

R492 Sure, Jan.

I'm not R492 but I'm assuming they're making a pun on the disgraced woman's name and suggesting that Julie Bishop is 'glad it's you and not me!'.

I'm the 40-year-old woman and man with BDF who make up 90s techno group Euphoria.

I'm the mysterious and deadly outback. Don't run out of gas here.

R494 This is 492 - right you are.

I'm the never ending heat wave.

I'm the Victorian obsession with AFL.

NOTHING. ELSE. MATTERS!

I'm Melbourne's 6PM news. I contain 8 minutes of local news, 2 minutes of international news, and 20 minutes of footy news.

I'm The Young Doctors.

I'm the stingray that killed Steve Irwin, earning the thanks of a grateful nation for taking out that moron.

^Oh my, that's harsh!

I'm 'The Sullivans', featuring Datalounge legend Kylie Minogue as a weeee little one!

R497 You wish you were R492 - tis me, you thief!

I'm Bindi Irwin, the obnoxious, over -confident, in your face ADD daughter of said crocodile man. I think I'm 40 but I'm barely legal. I'm only famous because my father died and people feel sorry for me, and I milk it for all it's worth.

R505 It's more the mother than the daughter. The mother was posting on Twitter every day for a week before the marriage proposal hinting at the marriage proposal to come (making it quite obvious what she was referring to) but Bindi was still "surprised" by the marriage proposal even though a camera crew was also on hand to record it all.

Who names their child Bindi after a garden weed?

I'm the Aussie kid who remembers being 'stung' and cut by Bindi weed every summer (but it doesn't seem so bad nowdays)

I'm Skippy the Bush Kangaroo!

R509 And Skippy wasn't a kangaroo but a wallaby!

I'm the Solo man.

I'm the Chiko Roll. I'm the Australian classic served at diners and service stations everywhere. Confusingly, I contain no chicken and taste like shit, but bogans devour me anyway, because of all the hot chicks used in my advertising.

R512 One of those 'hot chicks' was a trans. I kid you not! A good friend of mine was a friend of hers.

^ Was that 'hot chick' a genuine transexual or just a transvestite?

R514 Trans - she had undergone full surgery. Looked better than most females born 'female'.

r512 the one in the top left hand photo looks masculine, that leg looks manly

R516 I think that is the trans.

I'm Jodi Gordon's over-bite and I'm not going anywhere.

I'm Toni Collette's bald head.

I'm sorry to say that an estimated 20% of Australia's population have their skin painted (though 20% of those have expressed regret for their rashness)

^ What on earth are you referring to?

I'm the customer service.

I'm Mad Max.

I'm Kylie Mole.

I'm the Aboriginal message to immigrants: "respect our laws, or fuck off back home"

That was always their message, R525, but Europeans took no notice.

Now it's the ruling class's message to immigrants, and it's only justice they're not taking any notice either.

I'm Kamahl.

I'm Kamahl, not Kamala, but we ARE related!

(you can see it in our lovely brown eyes and large forehead)

I'm Paul Hogan.

I'm a cashed-up bogan.

So am I.

I'm the state dinner happening at the White House now!

Why does the Don, love Australia so much. It's only the second state dinner he's hosted. France and the hot young president being the other.

We're Savage Garden in 1998. Nothing poofy going on here!

I'm passive aggressive dominatrix Liz Hayes

I'm future Datalounge icon Bob Katter!

I'm "Muriel's Wedding", that other Australian movie about a talking pig.

I'm Olivia Newton-John's Nephew.

I'm Elle 'The Body' Macpherson.

I'm the National Anthem as sung by twink Harrison Craig.

So why hasn't Charlie Goldsmith cured his aunt of cancer?

I'm the hot backup dancers for The Voice's Aydan Calafiore.

I'm former PM Julia Gillard and I hate gays "Marriage is between a man and a woman" - spoken with the voice of a bigot bogan

I'm delicious Kirks softdrinks.

I'm heiress Stephanie Harper who gets bitten by a crocodile, becomes a super model and returns to Eden for revenge.

I'm our thick as two bricks fundy happy clappy gay-hating prime minster and his homely frumpy wife turning up at the White House like the uncultured poor relatives, sucking up to Trump like he's god. Barf! #slomo

I'm plastic surgery victim Jack Vidgen, who changed from a cute boy to a hideous freak.

I'm Jenny Morrison's home job haircut and Katies dress next to Melania's $6000 gown

I'm Cunty Curtis Stone.

We're white Australians, the lowest of the low, culturally, sociologically, and otherwise, of all white English speaking people on the planet. That's why we are so racist and eager to shit on Aborigines and other non-white Australians, not to mention refugees.

In other words, "Hello, Kettle, this is Pot calling..."

I'm shithole Melbourne.

I'm the Melbourne Cup.

I torture and kill horses.

I encourage day time binge drinking.

I support addictive gambling.

Taylor..............why you not come????

[quote]I'm former PM Julia Gillard and I hate gays "Marriage is between a man and a woman" - spoken with the voice of a bigot bogan

Talk about our embarrassing frumps taking the stage. Here is Gillard at 21, looking mid-50s already. She only stopped dressing from frau Suzanne Grae boutiques in her final year of office. For heaven's sake, she was married to a flaming hairdresser and even he couldn't help her!

R552 They weren't married, just 'living together'. Rumours abound that he was bearding for her.

I'm gay icon Bob Downe.

R553, if so, he was even more remiss in not giving her a makeover.

But yeah, "Marriage is between a man and a woman" is a good one, coming from someone who has never married. Very sacred institution, doncha know.

I'm hordes of unwashed from Nimbin, Byron Bay, and Margaret River about to re-settle in smokers paradise Canberra.

I'm Sidney Nolan's Ned Kelly.

I'm the AFL grand final, which few outside of Victoria care about.

I'm the 150 000 000 dollars the conservative Australian prime minister, has offered Trump to help him get to Mars.

Frankly, R559, if it helps get Trump to Mars it's worth any amount of money.

I'm Pro Hart.

I'm a 1950s immigrant.

I'm Perth's 17 million dollar penthouse.

I'm Pat The Rat.

I'm Pat The Rat.

I'm Pat, Australia's Norma Desmond who couldn't cope wth being a nobody----

r562 white only dears

Are you white, R567?

Do you feel cheated, R567?

Are you a Virtue-Signaller, R567?

I'm a night of gang violence.

I'm a night of gang violence.

I'm the dead Great Barrier Reef.

r568 Read up on The White Australia Policy and get educated you daft cunt

I'm your best mate, who you can affectionately call 'daft cunt'.

I am the Australian accent that gets me numerous roles on tv but I suck as an actor.

I'm KAK.

I'm the TV show "Wentworth" sadly languishing in "Orange is the New Black's" American shadow.

Yumi Stines is a dopey cunt with a huge chip on her shoulder

Make that Stynes# not that I care

I'm Maroochydore where guys go to swim wearing cozzies!

KAK is whack!

I've always liked Yumi. She tells it like she sees it.

I'm fairy bread.

I'm this production of Pirates of Penzance staring the *not* gay Simon Gallaher , but I can hold A and G notes like nobody's business.

I'm Todd McKenney, who accidentally on purpose 'outed' Simon Gallaher, who was married to his sister!

Oh my pearls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m Australia’s finest beefcake.

The Todd McKinney who was found wandering a park late at night with his pants down

This is what being in the closet does to you.

SG went from lanky young man with a butterface, to this:

What Todd McKenneys did was vile and cruel. You don't harm a man, his wife and children that way even "accident" on purpose.

I’m the home security system to ward off home invaders which is rampant after guns were confiscated.

looks like an old lesbian

We're the Japanese submarines that sneaked into Sydney Harbour in World War 2.

I’m the mutilated accent

I’m their collapsing dollar

I’m Bill Bryson’s Sunburnt Country

I'm Banjawarn Station, the middle of nowhere part of Western Australia where the Japanese death cult Aum Shinrikyo tried to built an atomic bomb.

I'm Cody Simpson, Miley's latest Aussie beard and the Robert on Masked Singer Australia.

I'm the 2020 Most Popular Gold Logie Award. The forerunners for winning me this year will be Dannii Minogue and Lindsay Lohan.

I'm the endless, passive-aggressive whining and complaining masquerading as a joke, mate.

R596 Enjoy your Gold Lougie Dannii!

I'm Dave Allen the Irish comedienne and drunk much beloved in Oz.

I'm Radha Mitchell making my acting debut (In a show I'd desperately love to forget).

I'm the last post on this thread.