Tasteful Friends, I invite you to luxuriate in Nephite luxury

This house IS America.

OP, while I can really not make heads or tails of this place, I'm more worried about how you came to find this gem. That, and why one would name their son Furyk. All I get out of that is Freak, which is what he shall be called in school.

Ive never seen antlers used to hang hand towels. Very craftsy.

They should have put one of those deer heads in the fireplace so it'd look like a deer is trying to get in the house through the chimney.

Dream house; dream location.

It looks medium-sized from the outside, but it's like a bottomless, huge cave of wonders when you step inside.

There's a lot going on here. Aside from the fact that it's in the middle of nowhere, it's not the worst space. I don't understand why no one suggested taking down a dead animal or two for purposes of the photos. Also that row of Lazy-Boys in the basement? What exactly goes on down there?

They have so many antlers, they don't seem to know what to do with them all.

There's a pile of antlers just randomly piled below a bunk bed in one room.

R2, I was trying to find an example of Mormonfrau decor for a friend and Nephi seemed like the best place to start. I went looking for decals on every wall and a bedside portrait of sexy Joseph Smith in a crystal heart frame; instead I found this.

The only Furyk I've ever heard of is Jim Furyk, the golfer. But I don't think they could be golf fans without a heavy presence in the house....at the very least golf-ball cabinet knobs and a chandelier made of bent clubs.

In the (master?) bedroom: either the bed is peculiarly small - or those bed pillars are huge!

They remind me of big pepper mills (and something else, which a classy person like moi cannot say out loud).

BBC! Lol r10

God this place is so ugly!!!!!! The dreadful tile.. even on the waaals!

"Rifles, Racks, and Dear Tracks. That's what little boys" (in Nephi, anyway) "are made of."

Is this Sister Wives territory?

That family is obsessed with deer. Even painted on the walls of the kid's room and next to his [name?], "Fury-k".

I imagine they have roast venison for dinner every day. And chew on cured venison biltong during the day.

The bathroom mirror came from Ed Gein's estate sale.

The row of Lay-Z-Boys in the basement brings back memories of the back theater in an adult bookstore in New Haven, CT.

Little Furyk all growed up.

Furyk Lunt. That poor, poor child.

Not even Hobby Lobby carries decor quite this tacky. Kirkland’s?

I just noticed that the blackboard is a list of people they’re praying for.

That seems like cheating.

What's with all the Coca-Cola shit? I thought Mormons weren't supposed to have "stimulating" (i.e., caffeinated) beverages.

The Coke theme basement is hilarious.

They don't drink the Coke, r19. They use the bottles as dildos.

My instant reaction was "those are giant dildos". Secondly, everything in this house is the color of unsuccessfully laundered shit covered clothing.

I’m going out on a limb and guessing it’s an apostate-turned-nondenominational-Christian house. They entered into apostasy after deerboy with the shipping-pallet canopy bed was named, because even the worst fundie wouldn’t be capable of naming a kid Furyk.

Plus, the requisite Tom of Nauvoo prints are missing....and they’re [italic]never[/italic] missing.

I’m going out on a limb and guessing it’s an apostate-turned-nondenominational-Christian house. They entered into apostasy after deerboy with the shipping-pallet canopy bed was named, because even the worst fundie wouldn’t be capable of naming a kid Furyk.

Plus, the requisite Tom of Nauvoo prints are missing....and they’re [italic]never[/italic] missing.

I have never, in all my long life, seen such a wild, crazy, and astonishing use of beige.

All the weirdness is beige, even the FUCKING PADDED WALLS in the basement!!

Look, it's Harry Potter's cupboard under the stairs, redecorated in cheerful colors!

[quote]because even the worst fundie wouldn’t be capable of naming a kid Furyk.

Hard disagree. There’s a list out there (won’t link) with Furyk and all his little peers (from a local athletic group) and some of the names these poor kids have been saddled with— oof!

I was differentiating between Mormons and plain old fundies in terms of names. It’s usually the Mormons who end up with the most special names and in Nephi that would be upwards of 90%.

Some of 2015’s finest:

Kayzin

AnnDe

Tymberlee

Tivian JoLyn

JaKoby

Rexalyn*

Zoei Reign

Embyr Serenity

Lenyx (x2! Same spelling for both!)

Riglee (though very descriptive of a baby, I will concede)

Roczen

Torrick

Gannon LaMar

That was painful. Couldn't get through all the pictures.

Mormons sound a lot like Puerto Ricans, who just love to combine family names to come up with "unique" new ones.

If y'all think Mormons and Puerto Ricans are nuts with names, please meet Brazil.

On the outside that home looks like Hell on Earth.

So much of middle American Straightville aspires to this sort of modern "rustic" look, consisting of rough wood, old metal siding and roofing material, ropes, dead animals, and whatnot. I know people who decorate this way and think it's "old school rustic" when decor like this never existed in the past. They aren't harkening back to anything.

It's like revisionist design history or something. It baffles me.

Sweet Jesus, that house is so awful interior and exterior-wise that it hurts my eyes to look at it.

Rexalyn? Roczen? Are they just naming their kids after prescription drugs now?

Can’t get over the “white tail warrior” poster in one of the bedrooms. So many dead animals....

That bed is from the Rubirosa line of furniture.

I would kill myself if I had to live there. 🔪

I hope Furyk grows to be a gay vegan.

I believe the term you're looking for, OP, is "luxuriate in Nephite splendor."

And my, that is some serious décor.

Fur-eek?

Fyur-eek?

Fyur-eck?

Ferk?

Fork?

Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

Traumatic.

This house is the gift that keeps giving. I wish I could make out the "art" leaning against the wall. The one on the left looks like Joseph Smith praying in the woods prior to his first vision and the one on the right could be roided-out Nephi quashing his brothers' rebellion, but why would those two images be together in what appears to be a set? Why would they have the same background? Why, why, why? But above all else, why are they on the floor when the house is being photographed? It must be that all available storage space is packed to the gills with antlers and there was just no other place to put them.

I didn't even notice that, R40. It was meant to be "wallow in Nephite luxury" but my subconscious must have been screaming at me to stress the luxury aspect.

[quote]I wish I could make out the "art" leaning against the wall.

Wedding photos. Pic on the left is the groom carrying the bride.

Damn it. Talk about seeing what I wanted to see.

I never knew there were so many shades of beige. That girl was dedicated to her "theme" wasnt she ?

R28 that list is horrifying. I'll have to add Amberly to it, which immediately brings to mind the "hey Ambular" scene from Clueless.

2017 was no match for 2015, but it did produce the following:

Rangler

Ariel Rogue

Deklyn Michael-Wayne

Kaleesi

Khalicee Millie

Ember

IaleeAnn

Nero

Brinzlee

Taylee Rae

Rydger Ray