What happens after you die?

Autopsies are expensive, messy, take a long time to get in the queue and be finished, and make the corpse look bad, which is not good if there’s a viewing. Do you really need to autopsy your 92 year old Mom with COPD who’s found seemingly reaching for her oxygen?

From what I’ve seen with my Mom, I saw her at the hospital about 25 minutes after she died:

The body freezes. The first responders tried to revive my Mom, and failed. They removed the respirator thing that they had inserted in her mouth or maybe throat. This left her mouth open in a grotesque position. They should have closed it. Most of the staff avoided us, even though we weren’t creating much of a scene, but there were about 6 of us.

The body cools. It was weird touching Mom since she was probably 80°(normal body temp is 98,6° and room temp is about 70°).

For reasons I don’t know, we don’t embalm in my family, which is fine with me. But my Gram, bro-in-law, niece, Dad, and Mom all died on holidays, and also Catholics don’t bury on Sunday. We wanted two days to place notices in the paper (pre Facebook era), so - they refrigerate the body, to delay rotting, just like groceries!

Somebody has to clean up the mess. My Mom fell and hit her head while gasping for oxygen. If she bled, her caretakers who are always with her, [italic] except then, [/italic] cleaned it up, which I really appreciated.

I still miss my folks. I guess I always will.

OP, the family fights about the arrangements. Then they fight about the will.

My Mom fired her lawyer of 50 years under my sister’s influence, and hired my sister’s chosen lawyer from 20 miles away. He didn’t know he was fired. The lawyer who was secretly fired was bringing Mom communion twice a week. Can you imagine telling him?

There was more was like that. I won’t bore you with the details. I don’t speak much with that sister. I try not to think about the other siblings who knew this in advance, and didn’t tell me.

R4 who gives a crap about that nonsense? What happens to the dead body itself?

Can someone please bump the thread about not being able to comprehend the reality of death?

The worms go in thin. They come out stout.

Aren’t autopsies only in situations where a cause of death is unclear, or it’s a homicide or something like that?

[quote]Why do they sometimes opt not to do an autopsy?

I imagine this can be a real indication you're ugly, and they don't care to fuck your corpse once alone (as too many coroners are wont to do.)

They're like, "Whatever ... who really [italic]cares[/italic] what happened? Get this TRASH out of here!"

Nothing. They close the box, and that's it.

I called the coroner's office a couple of weeks after my mother died during heart bypass surgery and was cremated, to see what he had found. His answer was, "well I haven't had a chance to do a complete report yet, but your mothers heart is right here on my desk." "nothing looks out of the ordinary though".

Sometimes it is best not to know.

[quote]Aren’t autopsies only in situations where a cause of death is unclear, or it’s a homicide or something like that?

State laws differ, but usually any death outside a medical setting, unless your physician is willing to sign the death certificate and say you died because of an illness he was treating you for, an autopsy is mandated.

For example, you pull an Elvis and die on the shitter. Your doctor knows you have a bad ticker and could go at any time, he may sign the death certificate and certify you died of a heart attack without autopsy.

Most people who die don't get an autopsy.

Autopsies will be done if a death is considered suspicious, and some teaching hospitals will do a clinical autopsy.

But in general no. Usually when people die the death is not considered suspicious or worth the money and time of an autopsy.

My mother died lying on her back on her bed, fully dressed. She looked like she was sleeping. She looked fine a few hrs later when the funeral home came to collect her, they put her in a red body bag and took her down in the freight elevator. They did all the paperwork - NYC needed extra info for the death certificate, so I had her MD call them. I never saw her again after they removed her body. Put her on ice for a few days, then off to cremation.

'What happens after you die?'

After everyone at the hospital partakes in a round of high 5s, two of your oldest friends tear over to your house with a U-Haul® truck and pillage the place. Back at the hospital, your sister puts her wig on your head and makes up your face. Your nieces take selfies with you and post them on their Instagram.

The adventure ensues post cremation. The whole family takes a Carnival® Cruise on your dime. They’ve slipped your remains in a zip lock bag with the intention of throwing you overboard at sea. As life is for the living, they completely forget your're in your sister's luggage and their drunken tour of the Caribbean ends without your being scattered at sea.

Back in Toledo Ohio, your sister finds you in her luggage and giggles about her lack of respect for you. Your truly twisted nephew then bakes your ashes into a couple of trays of brownies. He takes them to his school, where they are sold at the bake sale to raise money for the cheer leading squads’ trip to Disney World®. You are consumed by a handful of Ohioans, and finally returned to the earth.

Death be not proud.

Creepily specific, r16.

Experience?

Watch "Dr. G: Medical Examiner" on the Justice channel. It's very informative.

Nope. Personal experiences only.

R17, just a little - very little - creative writing while waiting for the coffee to finish dripping.

But I am dead. And all of that did happen. And I wept with each indignity and humiliation, until I vowed to destroy my friends, sister, nieces and nephew. They all died horrible deaths, and now do my bidding on the other side. Beware.

I want you, r20. Right here. Right now!

Take me!!

R21 Your right. She is awesome.

It's best to go to those who know for the answer

I miss Calvin and Hobbs.

Some guy in my condo building was just found dead about 2 days ago. He was very old, 80's lived alone, no family, openly gay, tall thin guy, talked to him once and a while when I ran into him. According to the manager the coroner said he has been dead for 3 weeks! At least 4 people have to walk past his front door to get to their units, yet no one noticed a thing. They didn't report the bad smell. It wasn't until an acquaintance had a manager do a check that they even noticed he had not been seen lately. He was found badly decomposed sitting in his shower. That's how life ends if you are single.

I wonder if he knew something was up and didn't want to make a mess or if he was just having some kind of pain tried to cool off and had heart attack.

R25 Same thing happened in my building last summer. A 48 year old single white guy was deceased for several days. He lived three doors down from me. His family got the manager to open the door. It never smelled until they opened the door. Turns out he had several brain injuries.

It happened to my little girl. We went to bed one night and found her later in the cellar

[quote]I miss Calvin and Hobbs.

Remember a lot about them, do ya?

[quote]once and a while

Oh, dear!

I thought they don't give you autopsy if you have been to the doctor in the past 6 months and the death doesn't seem suspicious.

Kinda what we said, r30 beginning at r13.

Oh, and an autopsy isn’t a present. No one is “giving” you one.

Three weeks after you're buried, you palate disintegrates and your brain gushes through and out your nostrils and mouth.

Pennies on the eyes and bandage around the jaw and top of the head.

Stuff the anus, nostrils and clothes peg on the dick.

[quote]Pennies on the eyes

You mean wooden nickels.

R34 No I meant pennies.

Isn't anyone going to post the video of that politician who shot himself on the air in the 1980s?