"Most fanciable human beings back in January 1982" - Male & Female...according to "Smash Hits'

Odd--I've actually heard of more of the women than the men.

They were talking about fanciable singers, right? These people all looked like David Bowie in Ziggy Stardust.

The men are dire. Is this truly the best the UK had to offer? The women look better than the men, yet it's an even match because they're all wearing the same makeup.

I loved Clare Grogan!

“Toyah” is not attractive.

Kim Wilde should have been at #1.

That’s not a very good picture of David Sylvain, aka “The Most Beautiful Man in the World.”

R6 is true. Harry or Bush would also fit.

And LeBon (capitalised in the article, good) should have been first on the male side. Where were the Duranies for this poll?

I can’t believe there were once little boys & girls who ever found Suggs or Phil Oakey attractive, though. This was all PR, yes? Like how TPTB try to tell us certain people are attractive ‘stars’ today when really they’re bland fuggos (Gaga, Beyawnce/Jay, etc.)

I'm 47 and I'd do Suggs.

R8 - the Duranies hadn't taken over yet - I think the year after Duran Duran swept the Smash Hits poll.

When this poll was done the biggest bands in the UK were probably The Police (still), Adam & The Ants with the Human League about to hit their popular peak. For 1983 it was all about Duran Duran, then Culture Club, then Wham!

I never really got the most fanciable person category, for a young gayling the early 80s were not a remotely sexy time.

Adam Ant was quite nice looking.

That photo of Adam Ant doesn’t do him justice. He was incredibly handsome.

But Toyah number 1 and not Kim Wilde??

Really bad photographs for a lot of them. I am laughing that Duran Duran took three of the spots. Poor Roger Taylor got left out.

Oops! Only two of Duran Duran. I think I took David Sylvian for a member.

Who is Toyah?

Omg, R15...Toyah Wilcox.

Toyah = Really Atrocious 'Punkette'

Terrible pix of adam ant & suggs, they were at the time very handsome.

R17's song is terrible.

Mine is better.

Where is Toyah today?

I've heard of them all, I was a big Anglophile, still am.

Sting was super hot back in the day, so was Adam Ant.

Toyah married Robert Fripp of King Crimson. I enjoyed Toyah more as an actress than singer. She was in "Quadrophenia" with Sting.

I'm going to crawl through the alleyways / Being very loud - Well, Toyah was certainly a rebel wordsmith up there with The Bard.

[quote]Where is Toyah today?

Toyah and Fripp seem to have bizarre relationship, whatever rocks their boat.

"Willcox married Robert Fripp of King Crimson in 1986 in Poole, Dorset.[32] "I got married because I had found my soul mate, not because I wanted to be married", she said in a 2008 interview. For the first 19 years of their marriage the couple lived largely separate lives due to the demands of their careers: she in Pershore, Worcestershire, UK, Fripp in the US, and rarely saw each other for more than 12 weeks every year. "But [Robert is] in semi-retirement now, so he's home, I cook for him twice a day and I really like it. We're having lovely lovely autumn years of our marriage, it's really nice", Willcox said in a 2006 radio interview."

Politically, she's fucking mess, not a surprise as she grew up quite wealthy: "In 2002 Willcox became a prominent opponent of planned accommodation centres for asylum seekers near the Worcestershire village, Throckmorton. Protesting together with more than one thousand villagers, Willcox said: "The villagers are not anti-asylum seekers and they are not racists", adding that "it was not a simple black and white issue". Commenting on the Government's plans to build asylum centres in other rural areas, Willcox said: "This is only the first of 15. The sheer scale is mind-boggling. This is a small country – it's all happening illegally."

Isn't Suggs the guy from Madness? Barely recognizable in that unflattering photo. He was very cute back then. They were kind to Midge Ure though.

Willcox said: "The villagers are not anti-asylum seekers and they are not racists",

I assume whoever got that quote also got a saliva bath...just imagine her lisping her way through that sentence.

[quote]I've heard of them all, I was a big Anglophile, still am.

R22 = used to buy The Face and 45s imported from England.

[quote]I assume whoever got that quote also got a saliva bath...just imagine her lisping her way through that sentence.

She's hilarious in interviews. She seems to have a stock answer to everything.

You see ^^

She's asked one question and she just rattles on and on...

Paula Yates was considered "fanciable" back in 1982.

Yikes. Yet another way the Thatcher years were disgusting and desperate

This was just before Boy George and all that happened.

I HATED this era.

Whereas I loved it. Musically it has never been beaten to my ears, that late 70s/early 80s era, when for once the best selling records we also the best records, at least in the UK.

Band Aid / Live Aid killed it all dead.

1981 was like a whole new dawn musically

That is a great men’s list with awful pictures. Julian Cope was young and adorable. Sting was at his most handsome but not in that picture. Phil Oakley should have been in movies.

And John Taylor owned that list.

I think Suggs looks better now.

"Hawt" as in very popular, or "hawt" as in good-looking?

Follow-up question: "Good-looking" for an American, or "good-looking" for a Brit?

Most of the people on that list are average-looking at best.

Do the kids still say "good-looking"?

R39 - it's most fanciable people who are probably pop stars, or the occasional tv star.

Sorry we Brits couldn't compete with all the hotties in the US charts in 1981.

Joey Scarbury, Kenny Rogers, REO fucking Speedwagon...

"Hawt" as in very popular, or "hawt" as in good-looking?

Doesn't "hawt" mean sexy in America? - not "hot" commodity.

A group of people who were all very attractive in their prime, yet someone has gone out of their way to publish the most unflattering photos of them for the article.

They weren’t the best quality pictures, but Smash Hits wasn’t exactly the Vanity Fair of it’s day. Didn’t stop me from combing the city for a copy here in the US as a wee teen.

Phil Oakey was never hot. I would swap out a few of those men. Ian McCulloch looked good back then, and the guys in Depeche Mode.

Look how wordy Toyah's WIKI page is...much like Toyah herself.

She probably wrote it.

Who the fuck is Toyah?

I like some of the men's music, but I wouldn't fuck any of them.

Musicians shouldn't have to be hot.

But if you want to measure the best looks-to-talent ratio, Deborah Harry and Sting smoke everybody on that list.

Toyah absolutely sucks! Her music is GRATING and she's not as pretty as the others.

Toyah seems like the poor man's Aneka:

Toyah is also the poor man's Hazel O'Connor.

oops wrong link

If this list is for music, what is Bo Derek doing on the list?

Adam was a total looker back in the day (he even got Vanity post-Prince) and that pic does him no justice.

De Harris from the band Fashion should been on there for sure. Woof.

[quote]Toyah is also the poor man's Hazel O'Connor.

Tell you what, R51 - you drink your coffee, while I sip my tea.

Toah's Wiki page is longer than the queen of Englands!

[quote] Adam was a total looker back in the day, he even got Vanity post-Prince.

So did Nikki Sixx and he looks like a dog. What’s your point?

Well...I'll tell you who's the star of this fuckin' thread.

You guessed right, bitches.

[bold]TOYAH![/bold]

Toyah's husband is DEEP.

John Taylor was the best looking of the group. The hair and outfits covered his good looks. When you could see his face, he reminded me of Alain Delon. Unfortunately, the drugs ruined his looks.

Hawt bump.

[quote] Who the fuck is Toyah?

That was also my first thought

Toyah's to blame for inflicting that Scottish potato on the world.

No champagne for Lulu?

[quote]Who the fuck is Toyah? That was also my first thought

If you read thru the thread, all will be revealed.

Did Toyah never have a hit in The USA? This is crazy.

^^ No it seems not.

It seems like she had a few minor hits in Norway & New Zealand.

I wonder why America rejected her.

Recent interview >

John Taylor topped the list a couple if years later.

She's been in New York. She made quite a noise.

But no song sales.

As did Kim Wilde.

Boy George made #5, R66?

Toyah didn't even make the list in 1984, R68?

She was top or near the top, 1980 thru 1983.

Freaky!

[quote]Toyah is also the poor man's Hazel O'Connor.

Wasn't there a whole thing that Hazel had been in a porno?

[quote]As did Kim Wilde.

All the str8 guys were in love with her back then.

Her and Jenny Agutter.

Kim Wilde is only known in America because of this. Terrific pout. Still one of my favorites.

Who the fuck is Toyah? Adam Ant? Lol. Brits have the worst fucking taste.

[quote]Who the fuck is Toyah? Adam Ant? Lol. Brits have the worst fucking taste

Oh, really? America hasn't any crappy singers I guess.

Toyah remains one of my favorites after seeing her on the USA Network’s Night Flight in 1984.

Brave New World and Neon Womb are two of my faves by Toyah.

[quote]Kim Wilde is only known in America because of this. Terrific pout. Still one of my favorites.

[bold]Weird!! [/bold] I just turned on my TV a while ago and there she was talking about that record. She said she'd never even been to America when she sang it - but that it sounded better than "We're the kids in Hertfordshire" (where she was from).

Her brother and father wrote the song.

[quote]Toyah remains one of my favorites after seeing her on the USA Network’s Night Flight in 1984.

I wonder why she never got a hit in America. It's an enigma.

Midge Ure was a boy?

The Toyah troll is really stinking up this thread!

[quote]The Toyah troll is really stinking up this thread!

If you're referring to me - this is not so. Many people are referring to Toyah and I'm responding because I know what I'm talking about. I am also the OP. Run along with your name calling and do something productive with your life.

On top of that, Toyah is the winner of the poll I linked, so of course people who have never heard of her are going to be fascinated. In effect, the thread belongs to Toyah.

Would have loved to have slept with all the guys, although Midge Ure could do with losing that Godawful moustache, looks way better without it. I remember having crushes on Gary Numan, David Sylvian, Adam Ant, Simon Le Bon, John Taylor and god knows how many others

Am vaguely aware of one or two of the females, I think I've heard of Toyah and one of the others. They didnt really register on my horizon back then or now, I was solely interested in chasing boys and sleeping with as many as possible then. Not a lot has changed to be honest

I just went and listened to a Toyah song. It was so bad, I refuse to link to it here. She's all yours, r82.

Nobody's mentioned kooky Claire Grogan yet?

I can't believe she didn't happen in America with this catchy number.

^^ made it to 45 in the USA dance charts.

That's about it for Clare, stateside.

You guys really missed out on a lot.

& she's still around, with that unmistakable smile.

"Brave New World" by Toyah (1982)

Toyah's 1987 cover of "Echo Beach"!

"Neon Womb" by Toyah in 1980.

Toyah in 1983 with "Rebel Run"!

Look, Gays! EDM from Toyah in 2011!

Check out her fabulous bird-inspired outfits!

Toyah in 1985 with "Don't Fall In Love (I Said)"!

"Soul Passing Through Soul" by Toyah in 1985!

That talentless slut from the human league? I heard she was a major bitch.

Here's Toyah in her "Most Fanciable" days of 1982 with a new version of IEYA!

[quote]That talentless slut from the human league?

Toyah was never in The Human League.

Paula Yates was by far the worst of the "new talents of 1982". How she ever managed to become the serial wife and girlfriend of some of the biggest names in music is a mystery.

[quote]Toyah was never in The Human League.

Equally true without the initial caps.

[quote]Paula Yates was by far the worst of the "new talents of 1982". How she ever managed to become the serial wife and girlfriend of some of the biggest names in music is a mystery.

Dear God, r97 - that song you linked. Sounds like a ten year old in the bathroom.

Suggs, yes.

Adam Ant was one of the most beautiful men I ever saw, but only for about six months. He aged really quickly. Last I knew he was trying to look like Johnny Depp.

Toyah = half talented Cyndi Lauper. You keep her thanks.

R96 that catharall creature

What a troll. Should have named it the Toyah troll thread then.

[quote]Toyah = half talented Cyndi Lauper. You keep her thanks.

Cyndi Lauper wasn't so fuckin' great either.

In fact I rate Toyah above her and her idiot teenage gurl songs.

Simon Le Bon was and still is hot af.

I’ve never heard of Toyah before....

Toyah in 1981 with the fantastic "Thunder In The Mountains"!

CAN YOU HEAR IT BREAKING THROUGH??!!!!!!!!!!

1987 TV performance of "Echo Beach" by Toyah!

Toyah's 1982 album THE CHANGELING is brilliant!

The opening track, "Creepy Room," is like the beginning of an acid trip.

"The Angel & Me" from 1982's THE CHANGELING is widely regarded as Toyah's best song.

Here's a fantastic 2011 gay bar LIVE performance of "The Angel & Me" by Toyah!

Toyah loves her Gays!

Toyah performing "Neon Womb" in a 1979 movie.

Simon Le Bon & Nick Rhodes as Gap models in 2001.

Simon Le Bon and Nick Rhodes as Gap models in 2001.

Adam Ant was easily the handsomest guy in music in 1982. He only fell off the list after 3 years because his music longer as popular.

Where's Gary Numan? He was around then or was he already over by '82?

I remember his song on the plane to America - you had to listen to so many songs before it rolled back around again and when we got to NYC my little cousin of 10 bought me the 45.

Memories...

"Cars" was a hit single in the USA in 1980, his only hit here.

DONE by 1982 and not hot anyway.

[quote]DONE by 1982 and not hot anyway.

I'll bet he was on the list for 1980.

The guys are all so fey and drippy looking.

More of Toyah at her fanciable best with "Be Proud Be Loud (Be Heard!)".

The Brits always have a weird view of "attractive". Generally the criteria is "white" & "British".

Debbie and Bo the only yanks on this list , correct?

Did the English folk not know who Stevie Nicks was?

[quote]The Brits always have a weird view of "attractive".

Excuse me? Are you an American DLer? I've never seen such ugliness as I've seen on the "hawt" threads. Sometimes I have to block them when the OP posts something (like some vast hairy arse) so repellent I can't bear to keep looking at it.

We met our gorgeous blond horse-hung 2nd husband on Christmas Eve 1982.

R125 is needing this American.

^^ I feel sick

We Americans love our disgraced gay politicians!

Now, BACK TO TOYAH!!!!!!!!!

A kiss from Toyah to the troll posting about me!

A recent/current thread, the OP's idea of "perfection". Dear God!

R126, Speaking of Christmas 1982, here's Toyah with her brilliant cover of "I Believe In Father Christmas"!

^ I had no idea she was so prolific.

Here she is from 1983!

Is Toyah on her way to becoming "DL Fave Toyah"?

"Oooooh, I wanna fuck Gary Numan!" <---never said by anyone, ever.

Smash Hits was really trying to make something happen there.

I remember Madonna always winning "Most Fanciable Female" in Smash Hits in the 80s and 90s

They even had their own televised award ceremony and Madonna would win it like every year and she would never show up

In 1992 a Madonna impersonator accepted the award on her behalf

Kate Bush was never Most Fanciable Female?

Wow, bringing up memories from my teen age years.

I also liked the "female" Adam Ant, Annabella Lwin and Bow Wow Wow.

I think Lwin was just 15 when this photo was taken and a child protective services investigation was launched.

The English didn't consider American-living-in-England Lene Lovich Fanciable in 1982/1983?

Toto Coelo weren't Fanciable?

"Do You Wanna Hold Me?" by Bow Wow Wow is on the April 1999 Gap In-Store Playlist!

R135 yeah I wanted to fuck Gary Numan, he had a very androgynous look which i loved then and now.

Each to their own I guess

Actually he has held up pretty well for his age, he looks better than a lot of guys his age now

I'm American, was in high school in 1982, and swear I've never heard of this Toyah before in my life. And that "most fanciable" list is highly eccentric.

r143, not everything is about [italic]you.[/italic]

This was being pitched to fans of New Wave in 1982 in an entirely different country.

True enough, R144.

I'm not R143, but I can appreciate that, despite her very avid fans here at the DL, many others in the US haven't heard of Toyah, or heard much about her.

I'm intrigued here at the mention of Smash Hits. For me, part of my formative music loving years came about with the US version of that magazine, called Star Hits. It came out in the US in the mid-80s, around the time I started getting into musicians and acts like The Smiths, Everything But The Girl, and Yaz(oo)'s Alison Moyet as she went solo.

It was part Rolling Stone-ish music coverage - of acts that RS, in its saintly We Are A Rock Magazine identity, would never cover - and part Tiger Beat-ish Aren't The Various Members of Duran Duran So Cute? pinup mania. But I loved it nonetheless.

At least for the first few years, until it drifted away from new wave/indie and sort of became a hair metal magazine.

I even participated in its pen pal program! It was funny, because 97 percent of the replies all came from Durannies, but fun nonetheless.

They have a page on Facebook - kinda fun to follow them, as they post pages from the magazines every so often.

More incredible Toyah from 1985!

Just offering my own response, R144. But the list is eccentric even in the context of teenaged British teen fans in 1982, and its curious to me that Toyah didn't travel. Btw don't use "New Wave" of a group including Duran Duran members unless you want the pedants derisively coming down on you with "not New Wave—New Romantic!"

"Paradise Child" is an outtake from 1982's THE CHANGELING. Excellent song!

More 1982 LIVE greatness from new DL Fave Toyah!

I can only hope I could bravely stare down such a storm, r147.

John Taylor should have been #1.

[quote]More 1982 LIVE greatness from new DL Fave Toyah

One thread + one troll doth not a DL fave make.

R147 Ah yes, New Wave, New Romantic. The new jazz, as they called Sade, EBTG, etc.

I don't know why Toyah didn't travel. I know little about her but her music is appealing. It was no more or less than a number of things that DID hit here in the US.

Part of it was likely just timing and/or slots open on the playlist. The indie radio stations were few and far between, and if they didn't pick up a song on the coasts, it was less likely to make inroads elsewhere.

Toyah's big 1981 hit "It's A Mystery" is probably why she was so fanciable to the readers in January 1982.

Another performance of "It's A Mystery" from Christmas 1981.

This 1980 performance of "Danced!" is part of the 1982 New Wave documentary "Urgh! A Music War" which was well-known in the States but did not garner her a US record contract.

That video @ R154 made me LOL from the second I clicked on it.

from what I can tell, Toyah never made the cover of The Face...just rubbish like this. Which seems extraordinary.

I love the "innocent" expression.

I feel for the late, great Kirsty MacColl as The Toyah Stan feels for Miss Toyah.

Kirsty was so great, but virtually unheard of in the States.

He's a liar and I'm not sure about you....

It's wrong to wish on space hardware.

[quote]Kirsty was so great

She wasn't great at all.

She was a plain gurl who sang dirgy songs

She used to be on French & Saunders every week as filler.

[quote]Kirsty was so great

She wasn't great at all.

She was a plain gurl who sang dirgy songs

She used to be on French & Saunders every week as filler.

Who in the fuck is Toyah? That’s what I want to know!

[quote]Who in the fuck is Toyah? That’s what I want to know!

If you read this thread from the top you'll know more than you'll ever want to know.

Recent years she's become so normal looking.

R73, You Keep Me Hanging On was #1 in the US in 1987. She also had a moderate hit with “You Came” in 1988

R162 R163 You have no taste, so I have no interest in anything you have to say. I mean, beyond no taste.

She WAS on F&S for a time when her record company went under, until she was able to record again.

The funniest thing about OP's article is the very idea that anyone would want to fuck Suggs.

[quote] Recent years she's been Botoxed and airbrushed to within an inch of her life

On the female side only 4 had real international appeal/success: Olivia Newton-John, Sheena Easton, Debbie with Blondie and to a much lesser extent Kate Bush and Kim Wilde.

Kim Wilde is another singer whose appeal is a mystery to me.

[quote]Kim Wilde is another singer whose appeal is a mystery to me.

I don't see why. She was very cute.

[quote] I don't see why. She was very cute.

I don't listen to singers because they're "cute."

[quote]I don't listen to singers because they're "cute."

You were talking about her appeal. You sound dumb, with an unwarranted sense of superiority.

Cannot believe nobody has mentioned Toyah was the narrator of Teletubbies.

Whilst Duran Duran may have had big hair, they were not New Wave, nor New Romantic. It was just pop

R151, as mentioned in R66, John Taylor would top the list in the ensuing years.

R177, Duran Duran's debut album was New Romantic. "Rio" and later albums were not.

R179 Just ebcause you say something, it does not make it true. Pure pop

[quote] The Toyah troll is really stinking up this thread!

Toyah! Toyah! Toyah!

Dirges? Kirsty MacColl was a student of the Girl Group sound and the Beach Boys. You know nothing, r162.

Thank you, R182! Finally, someone with knowledge and taste.

r142

Liiiiiiiiiiiesssszza Minnelli.

I'd sooner fancy Miss Almond.

"He's On The Beach" by Kirsty MacColl is on the June 2004 Gap In-Store Playlist!

Toyah! Toyah! Toyah! is the title of a 1984 Toyah compilation album!

Looking at 1, 3 and 4–they certainly “fancied” the Peter Pan look in early 80s Britain.

The females I meant btw.

^ The woman look butcher than the men, and I am fine with that

Toyah was one of Kate's special guests at her 2014 BEFORE THE DAWN shows in London:

[quote]It was almost overwhelming to see Kate after such an incredible performance. She wrapped her arms around me and kissed my face. We had a bit of catching up to do, the last time I saw her son Bertie he was 6 years old now he is a man. Agreeing to see her after the “madness has ended” I left on cloud nine and didn’t come off it until over the following week I told every member of KING CRIMSON how bloody fantastic it was!

[quote] On the female side only 4 had real international appeal/success: Olivia Newton-John, Sheena Easton, Debbie with Blondie and to a much lesser extent Kate Bush and Kim Wilde.

"only 4"?? Then why did you name 5???

Gosh, I just can't decide whose voice is thinner and whose impact is more irrelevant.

Is it Kim, or Toyah?

Wilde had a hit (or two) in the US and one of her songs was used in the opening of clueless, so she wins.

Wasn't Wilde one of only 5 (or 6) British women to have a number 1 hit in the US?

"Plenty" by Toyah is the b-side of her 1987 cover of "Echo Beach."

She covered Echo Beach? Why, yes she did....it sounds dreadful. What a terrible vocal.

Toyah was a replacement Sally Bowles in the first London revival of CABARET. DId anyone see her in the role?

Toyah was a replacement Sally Bowles in the first London revival of CABARET. DId anyone see her in the role?

Toyah's version of "Echo Beach" is excellent!

The video is very cool and extremely 1987!

Here is the awesome Extended Surf Mix of Toyah's 1987 version of "Echo Beach"!

"I'm an office clerk!"

R195 that is Sheena Easton

r202

Sheena Easton is one of the few, but so is Wilde.

I'm offended

R203 Those two plus Petula Clark, Adele, the Bananarama bitches and the Spice girl sluts, who else? Do the two talentless twats in the human league count?

Toyah sounds like Dot Cotton in that cover of Echo Beach.

I think we know why she never made it in the US now....

I lived in NYC in the 80's followed all the New Wave, listened to WLIR and have no idea who this Toyah person is. I was even a Nina Hagen fan, but Toyah, I don't know her.

Annoyah.

R208 Three of a Kind was so fucking good

[quote]Annoyah.

LOL

I love the she captures Toyassshh's SHHHH.

sorry - love THE WAY she captures Toyassshh's SHHHH.

R207 Toyah never crossed over to the US, not even on progressive radio stations.

[quote] have no idea who this Toyah person is. I was even a Nina Hagen fan, but Toyah, I don't know her.

Goth fabulousness and was probably on the list in other years.....

I always thought Gary Numan was kind of sexy (for an Aspie). Can you believe he's only 21 here?

R215 he looks like the halloween mask.

R212 no surprise her music was truly terrible. That tracy ullman parody sounded way better than any of her shit.

People still knocking Toyah...as though only top notch British pop made it in America.

Didn't someone say she was averse to flying? That's probably the reason.

Are Friends Electric? was astounding when it was first released. I have no desire to hear it today.

R218 change my mind then post a good song by Toyah. Everything I have heard posted here is crap.

Please, no more Annoyah.

Where it all began.

Toyah's first role, in a British TV play (sadly wiped).

The magic was already there.

Amazing.

Toyah, kindly posing with a gay boy fan.

Here you go R220...

I actually BOUGHT this 45...

She should have been in Liquid Sky.

[quote]Please, no more Annoyah.

This thread would have been relegated to the archives ages ago if not for Toyah.

R225 I kind of like it actually but even Kim’s kids in america has held up better.

[quote][R225] I kind of like it actually but even Kim’s kids in america has held up better.

True, in a way. It's very of its moment style-wise. But It's actually a terrific performance. Incredible energy. Most of the miseries on here won't even bother to watch it through. They'll just sneer.

R224: I thought that was a young Richard Madden.

I had never heard of this Toyah creature but now I'm a fan!!!!!

I'd like to know more about the zero American success. Did she even TRY? Were any singles at least RELEASED?

next year's tour >

I recall that Simon le Bon and Sting were both HUGE teenaged crushes of nearly every girl back then

R233 yep, had crushes on both. Was not a girl though

I never liked Simon Le Bon. Awful.

R207, same here. I listened because sometimes you know the song but not the singer. Nope.

And I was going to make Bootsy’s comment that the women had short hair. Nowadays all women of all ages feel the need for long hair. But back then, women with short hair were fuckable. Huh.

I fancy pop artists that don't sound like Marianne Faithfull coughing up a furball when they sing, thanks.

Like Tracey Thorn.

Or Alison Moyet.

Or hell, even Swing Out Sister

I fancied Dr. Robert

And fucking beautiful Paddy McAloon. Jesus, he was pretty.

Two DL faves in one shot. Magic.

I did not realize Toyah was a midget.

Maybe Princess Michael is very tall.

[quote] I did not realize Toyah was a midget.

More like a rat.

[quote] Amazing.

Yes, amazing that someone so charm, looks and talent free had any sort of career.

This song is fabulous!

Fabu!

To early for the George Michael days.

[quote] To early

TOO early.

God the ignorance on this thread...

Duran Duran were not new romantic? They were new romantic as fuck! Their first single (Planet Earth) even uses the phrase, something the likes of Spandau Ballet or Visage never did. The Rum Runner club in Birmingham where DD were based was THE new romantic club outside of London.

R124 - No one in Britain has ever given a shit about who Stevie Nicks is. Anyway, if she wanted be considered a hot female she should have had a woman's name. Everyone in Britain thought she was Lindsey and vice versa. And this was a magazine vote for by UK pop fans - probably aged from 8 to 18 (I was reading Smash Hits every fortnight by the age of 9), they certainly wouldn't have given a toss about Fleetwood Mac in 1981.

Smash Hits readers had favs rather like DL - their tastes were not necessarily totally in tune with actual chart sales. If you based it on Smash Hits coverage you'd think The Belle Stars were the biggest band ever, but they only really managed one massive hit. The fact that they were an all female band and someone on the editorial team clearly fancied them would explain their coverage, in 1982-1983 they make an appearance in nearly every issue.

Acts would emerge (or carry over from previous years) in their popularity.

1980

Gary Numan

The Police

Hazel O'Connor (for some reason)

The Jam

The Specials

Madness

Adam And The Ants

1981

Toyah

Duran Duran

Japan (who were NEVER huge commercially but SH readers loved them)

The Human League

1982

Duran Duran

Culture Club

The Kids From 'Fame' (ARRRGGGHHH!)

Soft Cell (Marc Almond always got loads of SH coverage)

1983

Kajagoogoo (for about 6 months).

Wham!

Spandau Ballet (around since 1980 but their biggest hit came in 1983 when they sold out. They were a far more interesting band up to 1982).

1984

Frankie Goes To Hollywood

Then I stopped caring but it went on to have obsessions with a-ha, Madonna, Kylie Minogue, Bros etc.

Someone has uploaded issue upon issue of Smash Hits, from 1978 to 2005.

What a trip down memory lane R253

I was an avid Smash Hits reader as a teen and used to devour each issue (graduated to The Face though)

This was the era of the beginning of Channel 4 which was so good in the early days. So interesting, trendy and cutting edge (or so I thought) - now it's all property and cookery shows.

I loved Channel 4 when it started, especially The Tube.

R252 There were always a few that were the Publicist's Special. You know someone at the record company was pushing them.

Belle Stars were fun but yes, they were the poor man's Bananarama (with a tinge of Go-Go's and Hayzi Fantasee in the mix) with one hit.

Curiosity Killed the Cat and Nick Kamen were later examples.

Wow R253! I wish someone would do the same with Star Hits (though they do a bit of that on their FB page)! I can't wait to check it all out.

[quote]Belle Stars were fun but yes, they were the poor man's Bananarama

Poor man's Bananarama? Dear God! That's real poverty. They were AWFUL!

[quote]I loved Channel 4 when it started, especially The Tube.

It was great. It was a real "Fuck you!" to the straight world - straight in all variations of its meaning.

"The Word" was later than this and people knocked it, but it was very good and great fun. Getting a nun to choose the best buns in a line up of naked men...stuff like that.

There's one of these for the US Star Hits too, will have to dig for it.

Ah here's the Star Hits - part 1

Part 2

I just added a few Toyah songs to my spotify playlist. The Toyah troll won....

The Belle Stars version of “Iko Iko” in “Rain Man”. It’s not bad, but the Dixie Cups version is excellent. Spare and sassy.

[quote]I just added a few Toyah songs to my spotify playlist. The Toyah troll won....

There is no Toyah troll - several people got in on the act.

She COULD become a DL icon if people start posting pics of her all over DL to "make a funny point" - like that gurl with the red hair in the '80s Toyota. Hope so.

and should COULD still have a career in America - look at her TEETH!

[Quote] several people got in on the act.

Just like Toyah.

[quote]I just added a few Toyah songs to my spotify playlist.

The Toyah Nation is ever-expanding! Thanks, DL!

Here's another 1983 Toyah Classic!

I EXPLODE!!!!!!!!!!

^^ That's AWFUL, R269. How old are you?

Old enough to know it's better than any Ariana Grande shit.

We need to find the right Toyah gif to spread all over the DL.

1982 Toyah.

From the photo shoot for her 1982 "Brave New World" video.

Look at Toyah's pupils... eerie!

[quote]We need to find the right Toyah gif to spread all over the DL.

Um...no. Don't ANNOY people with her. She'll just become a figure of hate.

Fuck Talentless Toyah!

Another acid trip song from Toyah, 1980's "Spaced Walking."

This 1981 Live performance of "We Are" is probably what made her so fanciable to the UK readers of 'Smahsh Hits.'

It really was like they said "Let's put three parts Bananarama, one part Culture Club and blend...."

They sing better than Bananarama.

I much prefer their "World Domination."

Toyah is the real breakout star of this thread!

Toyah performing her 1982 intergalactic epic, "The Packt," in London in 2015 at The Garage.

Is The Garage a London gay bar?

Fuck fucking Toyah! No one wants to hear about that snaggletoothed monotone old whore!

One more time: Toyah's incredible dance song from 2011 "Fallen."

You MUST checkout out!!!!!

You WILL love it!

Now Clare Grogan could actually sing.

Didn't make it for 1982, but Ian McCulloch got attention from Smash HIts in the following years especially as Echo and the Bunnymen hit the Top 10 a couple of times. The Bunnymen were more of a cult band but got some pop coverage and likely due to McCulloch's looks. McCulloch quipped that Seymour Stein of Sire Records didn't care for the Bunnymen's music but signed them anyway because he wanted to shag Ian.

He wasn't conventionally handsome but was beautiful in his early 20's. And the voice helped too.

It's odd that Toyah never came close to breaking in the states, even on college/alternative radio. The only place I ever heard of her was in Smash Hits. It was like they invented her.

Altered Images were great though. Clare Grogan was in Gregory's Girl, which played on HBO all the time when I was a kid. I loved the Scottish accents.

Wasn't Samantha Fox a big thing in those days?

Samantha was bigger in the UK than in the US. (Insert boob joke here.)

Or at least more of a press creation there.

But she did have a few Top 40 hits that were also pretty popular in clubs in the US.

[quote]It's odd that Toyah never came close to breaking in the states

I don't think she even tried.

"flash of flesh" NSFW >

[quote]It's odd that Toyah never came close to breaking in the states

I don't think she even tried.

"flash of flesh" NSFW >

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

I played lots of Toyah records on my radio show at Texas A&M in 1984-1985 and got lots of interest.

Till last week I only knew of this one hit wonder Toyah.

"Neon Womb" by Toyah LIVE At The Rainbow in 1981!

And here's "Neon Womb" in 2005 with Toyah dressed as a whore a la Madonna circa 1990.

The Toyah troll isn't a troll, he's a nutcase.

I heard that Toyah is currently working on a BREXIT plan with Boris. After that she plans on curing syphilis!

Do the Toyah haters actually listen to any of the songs provided?

"Angel And Me" is an incredible song! Give it a try!

[quote] The Toyah troll isn't a troll, he's a nutcase.

A nutcase with bad taste, stanning a singer that sounds like a frog being poked with a stick when she sings.

From 1996, "Toyah Willcox, This Is Your Life!"

This October 1981 might have gained Toyah more fans to vote for her fanciability!

Check out this YouTube comment:

[quote]Why am i just finding out about this amazing woman today?! Wow. I'm so impressed by her genuineness. So articulate, direct, and real. I didn't know she even existed 30 minutes ago, but she just made a fan out of me in 2015 with an interview she gave in 1981.

Toyah's first-ever television appearance in 1979, performing the classic "NEON WOMB."

Whatever happened to Kim Wilde?

Very cool TV performance of "I Want To Be Free"!

Was Kenny Everett a homosexual?

[quote]Was Kenny Everett a homosexual?

Yes.

He died of AIDS.

He was HUGELY popular in England.

Kenny Everett, Kate Bush, Elton AND a bit of DL legend Ann Miller!

MORE Toyah in 2000!

I love you R283 I thought I was the only person who remembered World Domination. Easily the best thing The Belle Stars ever did.

Another band that the record company tried to Make Happen.

Tormented by Toyah?

Unplug the jukebox and do us all a favor.

314 replies and no one has yet questioned the inclusion of Pamela Stephenson in this list?!

That lady has scary funbags!

They get a lot scarier at 2:05.

Are you kidding? Pamela Stephenson was textbook pretty.

At some point she decided to stop being funny - or trying to be funny, I don't remember her as a comedienne.

She became a psychologist. She even had a show where she interviewed celebrities in a pseudo therapy session. Joan Rivers was one of the guests.

[quote]She became a psychologist. She even had a show where she interviewed celebrities in a pseudo therapy session. Joan Rivers was one of the guests.

That's right. It wasn't very good I remember.

I think she also wrote a book about her "fascinating" annoying husband.

Joanne Catherall from the Human League in 2011.

Now mutton dressed as lamb.

This Toyah person, who I never heard, of looks like she borrowed some of Nina Hagen's looks, unfortunately without the vocal range Nina had.

I don't know Toyah's music but her styling and art direction in 1985 was killer.

#Two

^^ Wow! That's what I call a STAR🌟✨

Sleek!

Miley could never.

Miley WOULD never. She knows it's not good for one's career to look like a snaggletoothed old whore who needs a rabies shot.

Shockingly, the T Word was invited to participate in the oh so hipstery BBC6 Friday afternoon Roundtable, and gave thumbs up to equally hipstery St Vincent!

Was the Toyah stan finally taken down by a tranquilizer dart?

Maybe they can do the same with anyone who uses the annoying word "stan". Thanks.

Toyah has a new box set coming out in February for all you fans!

Thanks Toyah, old gurl, for bumping this old gurl of a thread.

Im sure a tonne of people on here will by your box set.

Can't wait!🥂🍾