Sharp pain when I try to make poopies

Yes. Stop typing. Stop asking. Go now and stop being a fucking moron.

If it's pain on your left side abdomen could be diverticulitis. Go get it checked out op.

Yes, you must call Emergency 9-1-1. It's called a Poopie Do!

Poopies? Yes, go to the ER, and request a brain scan while you're at it.

Sounds like indigestion. You should ignore the symptoms and just ride it out. Maybe take a Tylenol before you next try to make poopies. Have you eaten anything exotic recently?

Nothing exotic. I've been having oatmeal for breakfast the past few days. That's something I usually don't do.

oatmeal is really benign, so i doubt it is that. if you are in scary pain i'd go to urgent care.....if you are in ' JHC why me' pain i'd wait it out and see how i feel tomorrow.

i am not a doctor i just type like one on the internet.

It doesn’t seem right to me.

If you are not lying, go to the ER.

Obviously the op will have a split gut, if they do not go to ER.

Rip OP

Call your physician and make an appointment. He or she will advise you if you need to see a specialist or visit ER.

Thanks to those who gave actual advice. I'll wait it out and call my doctor in the morning. It's not constant pain, it just happens when I try to poop.

Can I have your stuff OP?

That's why I'm not going to the ER. I know DLers are waiting to pounce on my stuff.

Constipation. Drink more water.

Take an enema, but not one of those awful Fleet things. Use an enema bag.

Don’t bother, you won’t make it.

Drink Gaterade. It's sugary. Which I hate. But it cures all.

OP's hole is so trashed he can't even make poopies.

Are you sure you're not infested with a demon? Might be one lingering in your bowels and digging its claws in every time you try to expluse it rectally.

Are you having trouble making doo doos? That’s not good.

If it's abdominal pain and not your actual stomach, and if it gets better after you go, it could be IBS.

Any other symptoms besides nausea and vomiting? Did the vomiting stop quickly?

You could have some kind of blockage, that would explain the vomiting and gut pain. Get it checked out ASAP.

FYI, people have died from constipation.

R4, nah. No brain to scan.

I'm glad people are relying on DL for medical advice. This is truly the best source, after all.

OP, among the possible symptoms of appendicitis are abdominal pain, constipation, nausea, vomiting. Often there is a mild fever as well.

OP, catch us up!

Probably a bowel obstruction.

Make sure to tell the ER doctor that you can’t “make poopies”.

OP, only bitches can make poopies. Usually 5 to a litter.

Have you made healthy, pain free poopies today?????

A show tune

OP = scat troll

[quote]OP = scat troll

True. And now he has terminal bowel cancer. RIP him.

Call the midwife- you're having a crack baby.

R34 I think OP prefers scat queen!

Have you been visiting the horse ranch again OP?

Poopies or doo-doos? If it's poopies, hit yourself in the face with a brick, 4-5 times.

I'm drinking a green smoothie. I hope that will get things moving.

[quote]True. And now he has terminal bowel cancer. RIP him.

True. And now he has terminal bowel cancer. RIM him.

OP. Is the sharp pain low, medium or high in the abdomen ?

It's a low pain that happens when I try to push.

If you're vomiting, constipated, have abdominal pain and can't pass gas it's probable bowel obstruction which is a "get thee to the ER" kind of situation. If you're farting all right, you can wait to see your physician.

I had similar symptoms and discovered I had colon cancer. Stop dicking around on DL and go to the fucking doctor.

It could be your elephant graveyard of condoms.

R43 here. Could be a slight hernia. Pain w hernias can be sharp

We hate sisters who can't make poopies.

Discuss!

Ask your primary for a referral to a gastroenterologist. He will likely want to schedule you for a colonoscopy, which you are due for if you haven’t had one. These guys are very smart about bowel issues and will sort it out one way or another. Good luck. Get cracking with the doctorin’.

[quote]I think OP prefers scat queen!

That title is taken.

No, no, no, R14.

In this case, it's "Can I have your CRAP?"

Mary OP, isn't your mommy home to tell you what to do?

I was going to ask for your stuff, but then I realized it would be covered in crap when you explode.

Try resting in a squatting position in the meantime.

I made 16 doo doos today already.

If it turns out to be constipation, you should consider adding metamucil or similar fiber product to your daily regimen. You would have large, bulky, but very soft stools. (What is a POOPIE?)

R49 His problem only started yesterday and is maybe something that can be taken care of by his primary. No need to see a gastroenterologist for every gatrointestinal problem, his doctor will know to make a referral if it's needed.

Eat a bag of baby carrots, a huge mug of hot water and fresh lemon and then stand in your shower and do the Jellicle Ball choreography. That will make you poo

I'm seeing my doctor on Monday. Hopefully I will have pooped by then.

If pain intensifies or you keep vomiting, go to the ER. Meanwhile stay hydrated ++ and eat fiber. Maybe try a glycerin suppository if you can find those.

At the least your doctor should get you a CT scan, and ask him for the referral to the gastroenterologist.

Do you need a forklift service to get you out of your basement, OP?

Firefighters cut a hole in the side of a house and used a forklift to extricate a 900-pound man from his second-floor bedroom after a visiting nurse became worried about his health.

Rescue workers were called in Tuesday by the nurse, who determined the 33-year-old man needed medical help, Fire Chief Tom Cochran said.

what did yo u do Op?

[quote] At the least your doctor should get you a CT scan, and ask him for the referral to the gastroenterologist.

Don't bother with a CT scan for the abdominal region, it won't tell you what you need to know. The topography of the scan isn't detailed enough to tell the difference between a blockage, a growth and regular fecal matter.

[quote]These guys are very smart about bowel issues

Is this your way of saying they know their shit?

[quote]Drink Gaterade.

Oh, dear!

[quote]FYI, people have died from constipation.

What are you talking about? Nobody dies from constip...*thud*

[quote]i am not a doctor i just type like one on the internet.

No, you don’t.

You really don’t.

R63, They found diverticulosis on my husband with CT. There are a lot of things they can diagnose with CT. And it’s quick and easy, not a bad way to start. You’ll probably still need a colonoscopy, but that takes time to schedule and prepare for.

Likely it’s just someone’s class ring or Rolex.

[quote] Don't bother with a CT scan for the abdominal region, it won't tell you what you need to know. The topography of the scan isn't detailed enough to tell the difference between a blockage, a growth and regular fecal matter.

Totally untrue; I had a blockage caused by a tumor and it was diagnosed as exactly that via CT scan.

IT’S NOT A TUMAH!

[quote] Totally untrue; I had a blockage caused by a tumor and it was diagnosed as exactly that via CT scan.

I also had a blockage caused by a tumor and it was not diagnosed for the reasons I specified. So they are unreliable.

You’re going to have to stop getting fisted.

Opiates?

[r68] [quote] diverticulosis

What is this? W hat are the symptoms? And what is the treatment?

Take the butt plug out, stupid.

You need to march right into that ER and shriek at the top of your lungs "I AM UNABLE TO MAKE POOPIES! I DEMAND ASSISTANCE NOW!!" and then collapse on the floor. I'm sure the people with knives sticking out of their foreheads or missing limbs would happily let you to the front of the line.

R79 Diverticulosis means you have little pouches in your intestines. It's pretty frequent and a lot of times it won't cause any problems, but sometimes it can get inflamed (diverticulitis), which causes pain, usually in the lower left side of the abdomen. It's treated with antibiotics, or if it's very mild, can get better by itself.

I meant R75

I'm kind of surprised by the number of people wanting to tell their doctors what to do. I'm pretty sure they'll be able to assess whether a CT scan, colonoscopy or gastroenterologist referral is needed.

R72 Abdominal CT scans are very useful to identify most causes of abdominal pain. You'll be able to see gallstones, inflammation of the colon, abcesses, etc. You'll also be able to see most tumors, but it is not very good at detecting colorectal cancer. That's why when we suspect a tumor we always ask for a colonoscopy since it's not the CT scan's "job" to diagnose it.

You might have worms.

[quote] [R72] Abdominal CT scans are very useful to identify most causes of abdominal pain. You'll be able to see gallstones, inflammation of the colon, abcesses, etc. You'll also be able to see most tumors, but it is not very good at detecting colorectal cancer. That's why when we suspect a tumor we always ask for a colonoscopy since it's not the CT scan's "job" to diagnose it.

Thanks, know-it-all. When you go through colon cancer, several misdiagnoses, a colectomy and 7 months of chemo, then you can come back and lecture to us.

R83 My dear, I just said if your doc ruled out gastrointestinal cancer based on a CT scan and didn't ask for a colonoscopy, he overlooked something.

I don’t understand why R83 didn’t have a colonoscopy?

I had the carrots, the hot lemon water...and did not make it to the open 8 count of the Jellicle Ball

Could be appendicitis! I wouldn't wait til Monday if it doesn't get better.

Butt babies can be tough to deliver. Perhaps you are going to need a c-section!

I was having some lower right abdominal pain yesterday, it came on dull and kind of stabby. Now it's mostly gone, but I've had this come on and off before, usually when I'm under a lot of stress. I'm not OP but I didn't want to start a new thread. It still lingers a bit, about a hand-width to the right of my belly button and slightly lower.

[quote]I also had a blockage caused by a tumor and it was not diagnosed for the reasons I specified. So they are unreliable.

Now girls, you both have cancer.

OP, have a couple cups of coffee in the morning. That always makes me poop.

Watch a few movies starring M. THAT'LL make you sh*t in nothing flat.

OP, you in danger, gurl!

I vote bowel blockage.

Vomiting is serious business and if you don’t have the flu, get to the ER.

Do you have a mild fever, which google says often accompanies appendicitis?

Its poo pee doos. Light a match.

It could also be gall bladder.

OP, have you ever seen a movie called "Alien "?

Miss OP in a few hours

I wasn’t going to read the whole thread, did OP survive or not?

I had just the opposite problem a few weeks ago, watery runny poop. I went to the doctor and turns out I had caught Shigella! There was nothing they could do so I just had to shit my brains out for a few days until it passed. Gross!

Too soon to tell. Tune in on Monday.

R102 one hopes you learned your lesson.

OP forgot to mention he is a drug mule.

Metamucil. Makes your poopies come out nicely.

[quote]FYI, people have died from constipation.

No shit.

You still among us, OP? I'm betting fecal impaction. R89 If you haven't had appendicitis yet, could be that.

They’re gonna have to take out half your colon. You’ll have to wear a bag to shit in.

OP, in all seriousness, drink plenty of clear liquids, avoid heat on your abdomen ( it can cause bursting of your appendix or pustules if you have diverticulitis which can cause sepsis), and only eat small bland meals. If you haven’t pooped by later today or you’re only passing liquid stool (possible sign of bowel obstruction) see a doctor.

To R104. I was travelling quite a bit all the week before for work so god knows where I picked it it up. I wish I could say it was from rimming some hot guy! At least that would have been some consolation for living on the toilet for 3 days. But no rimming involved alas.....

[quote]They’re gonna have to take out half your colon. You’ll have to wear a bag to shit in.

You can’t do anal anymore once you’ve got a bag.

[quote] You can’t do anal anymore once you’ve got a bag.

I know you weren't serious, but that actually depends on whether your anus was removed and your ass sewn shut or not. Some people with colostomy bags apparently lead fairly normal sex lives.

I'm sure colostomy porn exists in some corner of the internet I never want to visit.

I know you all have been dying for an update. I'm feeling better and I did produce two small poops today. The smell was horrific, I don't know what's up with that.

Poop poop hurray!

Fermented poop in not good OP. Get to a doctor.

Here you go OP.

Ta! Have to print that out and stick it on the fridge!

r114 if your stool was black and tarry get to a doctor immediately.

I made 6 doo doos today.

Pics, or it didn't happen.

It's probably a glamour length Lee press on nail. Maybe more than one.

Why do you all want the OP to needlessly go the the ER when his diverticulosis (which it most probably is) will go away on its own in a few days? This "go to the ER" mentality is what is driving up health care costs and bogging down hospitals who could be treating people with legitimate emergencies. The human body is amazing and, in many cases, will repair itself if you give it a chance.

I knew someone who thought like that, r123.

And then he died.

Congratulations on your popular scat thread, scat queen! The regulars swarmed it like flies on...

My doo doo tales. I want you all to read about my doo doos.

OP it sounds like you need to clean out your intestinal tract. I suggest you drink a full bottle of Magnesium Citrate followed by a big glass of water or any other beverage that is not carbonated. Do it at night just before bed. The next morning you'll purge your bowels like never before. Then make sure you start drinking more liquids during the day and lay off all the protein. Cut down on meats and fish. And yes, Metamucil every evening after dinner would be beneficial.

Dance! Dance!

Poopy doos. I make doo doos.

[quote] R123: This "go to the ER" mentality is what is driving up health care costs and bogging down hospitals who could be treating people with legitimate emergencies.

I have never had [italic] inexplicable [/italic] “nausea and vomiting... [and] sharp pain in my stomach.”, all at the same time. It read like an emergency to me.

[quote] R119: if your stool was black and tarry get to a doctor immediately.

I did recently have black and tarry stool, nausea, and stomach pain (but it wasn’t inexplicable). “Black and tarry”, I know, means internal bleeding. I decided to give it a day and see how it went, and it did go away.

Red blood in your stool is usually not serious, but black and tarry means internal bleeding, as I wrote, and could mean something serious.

My shit is tarry all the time!

R131, if this has been going on a long time, you may not face imminent death, but you should ask your doctor about it at your next syphilis test, or when ever you see your doc, next. If it’s a new thing, you should get an office visit ASAP.

At my yearly physical, my doc gives me a test I do at home. You smear a little poop onto a test slip, and mail it back. I forget what they test for. I think it’s a cancer test, but it might also test for blood. I’m older than 50 but don’t care to do that intrusive cancer test where they look up your pooper.

Tarry, tarry turd,

Paint the porcelain black and gray,

Spoil OP’s summer day

With smells that burn his eyes and soul.

Should he take some pills?

Perhaps consult some online shills?

Who’s afraid of ER bills?

Or those colors on the snowy linen tiles?

LOL, r133.

[quote]Why do you all want the OP to needlessly go the the ER when his diverticulosis (which it most probably is) will go away on its own in a few days?

I'm not an advocate of running to the ER every time you feel unwell, but the OP is/was having symptoms of an intestinal blockage, which can in fact be an emergency. Obviously, his problem might also be something less serious than that, but that's hard to say without a doctor visit and if it were a blockage, waiting around would not be a good idea.

My doo doos came out green the last few days. I’m a nervous wreck about what that means.

This thread is proof that DL is really, really, really the best place to obtain medical advice.

When's the last time you had the Anal ?

Sounds like a typical Monday to me. Have a Hershey Bar and take a nap.

Saint Erasmus is the patron saint of abdominal pain. Maybe try this prayer:

O God, grant us through the intercession of Thy dauntless bishop and martyr Erasmus, who so valiantly confessed the Faith, that we may make poopies without pain. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.

If I am in a delicate condition I shall rely upon DL to support my choices.😔

The doctor has given me suppositories which I hope will take care of matters.

Suppositories? Isn’t that the placebo they give the ones with terminal doody cancer?

Maybe you are having your first menses, OP

^ his menarche! Let's throw him a party!

I’m watching General Hospital. Brad has the exact same symptoms and he’s going to die!!!!!! Get thee help ASAP!

Are they giving Brad suppositories? Would they let me insert them?

I think R145 meant

Get thee help ASPCA!

Butt baby lives matter!

Brad is a soap opera CAT? I thought he was some hunky soap opera character. I don't want to give a cat a suppository.

He probably emotes as if he were a hunk of soap.

I almost almost always tell people to go to the ER. This might be the scat troll...probably.

Don't forget to light a match after poopy-do's.