Everyone I work with seems to be rolling in money

They are ass-deep in debt and will eventually be declaring bankruptcy, OP. Life is happier if you don't compare yourself to other people, because 1)they ain't you and 2) you have no idea what their real private lives are like.

[quote]OP. Life is happier if you don't compare yourself to other people

It probably is, but hard not to.

R1 said it very succinctly.

If you become adept at eschewing all debt, YOU will be retiring before your co-workers.

I am living proof you can save your way to prosperity and early retirement on a mediocre salary.

I used to live beyond my means, taking on huge amounts of debt while somehow telling myself that “someday” I would stop spending and start paying it back.

Then, suddenly, a couple of years ago, “someday” arrived. And although I’m well-housed and not starving, I’m definitely “poor” when it comes to exotic experiences and status symbols.

Fortunately, I’m too old to care about such things anymore. Let others run up their Visa bills for the sake of some exquisite Instagram photos from Thai beaches - they’re just fools.

How so, OP?

What do you do OP? What industry etc

Raise your prices, ho.

There is a term for this, called status anxiety. Wahtch this video. It's kind of long but worth watching it : https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=edX7hdpKdbQ

R7 house renovations, vacations, cars, parties, clothes. Just "stuff" in general. One 20 something guy bought himself an Omega watch that cost thousands. Another guy owns four motorcycles. A woman took her family to Disneyland before Christmas and is going again in June. All that shit costs money.

R8 I work in a distribution center for a grocery store chain.

Op are your coworkers ripping off the distribution center and selling shit on the side to finance their lifestyle?

R12 that happens sometimes but security is really tight there and the last guy who tried that was caught, arrested and charged. Management doesn't fuck around.

Debt up to their eyeballs. The average American has multiple credit cards with tens of thousands of debt on each.

My former bitchy gay boss from Chicago is a store Exec for a company and somehow lives by Central Park and travels the world and eats at 5 star restaurants all the time and lives this lavish life.

He models part time also but not getting paid. More a portfolio model for photographer friends he made.

I always wonder how he lives such a lavish life when I know he doesn’t make more than $70k to $75k a year.

I’ve learned you never really know what people’s circumstances are. I work for a government agency that we all report to annually (deadline was just a few days ago hint hint). Before my current position I worked in a well-paying law firm with relatively sophisticated colleagues.

All of a sudden several colleagues contacted me trying to get some “help” with their tax issues because of this or that nature. Some of them didn’t know any better but most were just in denial over the consequences of their actions. Of course, they always prefaced it with “I did what I was supposed to”... I’m not allowed to dabble in these affairs as a term of my employment so I said I couldn’t help.

So many people are clueless about finances. It doesn’t help that the retirement and finance industry scares Americans into thinking they’ll never be able to do it on their own so many don’t bother.

The ones with real net wealth aren’t flashing it around. It takes discipline and time to grow a financial portfolio. Of course, spending is wealth to some - not me, that’s consumerism and it’s for the lowest common denominators.

Rich people grow their money first, then spend what they truly have to spend.

Your coworkers may be excellent with their finances, or they may not be, but just remember spending skills =/= wealth.

[quote] ...cars, parties, clothes. Just "stuff" in general. One 20 something guy bought himself an Omega watch that cost thousands. Another guy owns four motorcycles. A woman took her family to Disneyland before Christmas and is going again in June. All that shit.

You don't want to party with these fucking people. Trust.

Maybe you only think you make the same as them? I found out by accident that one co-worker who was an Admin Assistant and who was supposed to be making the same as me got a huge bump in salary because her boss added some additional words to her title even though she was doing the exact same job.

Are you in LA, NYC or SF? Chances are their parents are funding them,

R17 Agreed. They sound like Middle American trash.

OP is better off served saving some of his hard earned money and travelling to a country with class and elegance, which you will not find at Disneyland or on four motorcyles even if you have an Omega watch or a McMansion.

The sister of an old friend of mine used to be the manager of a very expensive high rise apartment building. Apartments in the building go anywhere from $3000 to $10000 a month. She told me once it was ridiculous the number of people who would rent apartments in the building and after a few months get kicked out for non payment of rent. They had great jobs when they moved in and then lost the jobs with not enough money in the bank to survive even one more month. Idiots who thought money was made to be spent, and spent as fast as it could be made.

[quote]It probably is but hard not to.

Read the rest of what I said, OP, and then everyone else because there's a lot of good advice here.

I repeat, they aint you and you don't know if they're on the verge of bankruptcy. I know a lot of people who were riding the wave of tech boom in the late 90s and were making stupid money, blowing it all on 10000-dollar watches, first class plane tickets, boats, etc. Then came the inevitable crash and they had nothing to show for it, not even modest savings. Ditto the stock market and housing crash of 2008.

One of my best friends was on the house flipping bandwagon, got stuck with several houses in various states of renovation and didn't have the money to finish and would still have to have sold at a loss if he did. Bank took the houses back, he filed Chapter 11 yadda yards, and as such was not in any financial position to take advantage when the market came back.He also had a ton of debt, some of it related to his business but most for toys and high end travel. His girlfriend of course took a home when the money ran out.

I'm 56, OP, and most of these folks I'm talking about are about in that range. Most of them are trudging along in jobs they hate but can't afford to quit, and will likely not be able to retire anytime soon.

I just retired after 30+ years working for the government and various large Defense contractors. I have a modest house in a non-hip part of an expensive state, paid off a long time ago, a pretty good retirement and a reasonable though not great investment portfolio. My tastes are modest--I don't eat out much and my wardrobe would be ridiculed by the Tasteful Friends for sure. My only extravagance is my boat, which I use a lot and bought at a greatly reduced price from a guy who--you guessed it, was filing Chapter 11 in the Crash of 2008. I don't have any special financial savvy, just extreme cautiousness that you get from parents who both grew up poor but were fortunate to be able to better their position in life.

Sorry for the tl:dr, but you sound young and unsure. Old age arrives faster than you imagine and nothing sucks like financial insecurity in old age, or having to work till you're 70 and beyond and hoping you don't get sick or injured before you're able to go. Be your own man, OP.

What R1 said. Over the years I've been surpised that a number of friends, relatives, and co-workers were up to their eyeballs in debt.

^^^girlfriend took a HIKE when the money ran out

Sounds like the guy described in R15 is either doing some discreet escorting or has a rich, elderly admirer.

How do you know you all make the same?

R22 Knows his stuff. I will add however, that you do have to find something in life to treat yourself to - like R22's boat. Life will be hard otherwise.

For me, my treat is travel. We never did it growing up because my parents were poor too and cautious. Even then, I don' stay in 5 star hotels or book first class seats, etc. Don't need to.

Also learned from my parents (my father especially) that you CAN save too much. I know, that's horrible advice for most - but he valued being a "millionaire" so much and now that he is - I see the price wasn't worth it. No one cares that much about a 70+ something millionaire and he will never get back the time to do what he could have with some of that money, or energy.

R25 I know he told someone he was into that I know how he always gets invited to exclusive events in the city and parties etc. and even gets free stuff sometimes from people simply cause they find him beautiful.

While I know beautiful people who also get treated superior, he’s not that special looking. He’s handsome but not anything to write home about.

He said that he can’t trust people cause he found some people would pretend to be his friend just to use him to get into places he would get into etc.

R15 Your boss sounds like a thousand queens in West Hollywood. I lived around them for 15 years.

15 years later, the smart ones translated their fortunes into opportunities not based on looks (which they have managed to maintain) because they have smarts and disciplines.

The majority, however, aged and moved out of LA a long time ago when they became another member of the 40+ demographic.

Give him some time, it always catches up with you.

I agree with the guy who said their parents could be supplementing things. And also their spouses' incomes.

RULE OF THUMB OF THE RICH: Spend money on things that will increase in value.

I always loved this photo of Madonna.

I do marvel at different people on Instagram and how they seem to take multiple trips to the Caribbean during the winter months and just seem to be all over the place ALL time. One of them I am pretty sure is a trust fund baby or at least heavily subsidized by mama and papa based on their home in Kentucky. I had a friend years ago - great job as VP of marketing research, grand apartment, nice car and was always buying stuff mail order (long before Amazon) - and filled her apartment with cartons she never even opened. Wound up losing her job, apartment, car and was homeless for a while. Now has a cashier job at a national pharmacy. A lot of times peoples lifestyles is smoke and mirrors. Best to put your head down and save.

R29 he moved here to NYC last year out of nowhere when he decided he wanted to take on the “biggest and baddest city in the world). Good for him, issue is he is a white guy from a tiny rural town in Illinois that then moved to a white area of Chicago before moving here. He has no idea how to speak to or interact with minorities, mainly black people. He comes off AWFUL, so much so that he got in trouble with HR numerous times for his tone and attitude. He’s so clueless to how he comes off too. He will look at you and give you the dirtiest looks, speaks to you like you’re the scum under his shoes etc. it’s insane.

He now is in Tribeca (as opposed to Brooklyn) and I heard he’s doing better there than here as far as attitude goes. Good for him.

He’s 28 (but claims he’s 26) and models for photographer friends here and there with his musician/model Dominican boyfriend. He legit goes on numerous vacations a year, and I mean numerous. There was one point last year where he took a vacation, came back for a week then was gone for another two weeks. Then the next month was gone again.

Idk how he gets approved for all this vacation time either lmao.

He lives by Central Park by himself, and is always eating at beautiful restaurants, out drinking at top notch bars and rooftop bars, etc. it’s crazy to me.

There are a lot of old trolls on here that just assuming everyone is living beyond their means. But the other more likely answer is that they ARE MAKING A LOT MORE THAN YOU with out your knowledge. OR they could also be a mix of trust fund babies. In certain fields like Finance, a lot of those guys come from wealthy families to begin with even though they might cry poverty to their corkers to fit in.

I worked with one guy in an Architectural office when I was young, no one was making much money. Its one of the lowest paying professions with a college degree. Could not figure out how he could afford a beautiful apartment, expensive meals, nice car, tips like crazy. Then after I got to know him, turned out his parents were filthy rich in Mexico of all places. They basically paid for everything so the money he made working was just for play.

[quote]He’s 28 (but claims he’s 26) and models for photographer friends here and there with his musician/model Dominican boyfriend. He legit goes on numerous vacations a year,

Stop right there. Model? Numerous Vacations? He's basically a hustler. THAT is where all his money is coming from.

R35 but not a professional model. He has photographer friends he will let shoot him to add to their portfolio. He’s helping his friend out, moreso than them helping him out.

They’re newer younger photogs, not old school big names.

R33 - sounds like he is escorting. I have been watching a guy on CAM4 and a lot of nights he pulls in over 2000 tokens = > $200 PER NIGHT = and extra $70,000 a year.. I am exhausted watching - I don't know how he does it....

R37 who knows. I’m curious but he’s gone now and I’m not gonna ask lmao.

There is a guy in my town that seems to know all the older gay men, he pops up on Facebook with about every gay man I know is this town over 60. Of course, he is a "personal trainer". And of course all the the older man are wealthy, non are middle class. Yes he does have a washboard abs and he is about 29. These "clients" like working out so much (cough, cough, eggs with legs) they bring him on trips to Europe, Hawaii, and all over the globe. He claims he is just into bears, but truth be told, he is really into cashing out with his body.

rent control? dead grandparents with a gift of $? wealthy parents? invested well? just some ideas -doesn't have to be cc debt

R35, you just described a classic Hustler. Real models go to real modeling agencies. The hookers posing as models for a front are armatures. Friends taking pics for them. "struggling to get into the businesses" lie. To be honest, he is too old to be just breaking into modeling. They usually are considered too old by the time they hit 30. The ones that are modeling at that point are at the top of their game with maybe a decade of work.

R39 that reminds me of my friend Rob who gets offers from wealthy men all the time. He never took it and is straight and always blocks them if they ask more than once. I’ve seen the messages too, and the men are legit.

He doesn’t even know how they find him, but they do, and pretty much cause he is really really hot (sizzling) and his pics etc. get retweeted on Twitter etc. just cause he’s hot so people see it.

This one man in his 70s specifically offered him TONS of cash and proved he was legit and my friend still said no, not doing anything for a man. He did make an Amazon wishlist and the man bought him a bunch of stuff from it just so he wouldn’t get blocked. True story.

That made me so annoyed cause I don’t know what it’s like to be some really pretty washboard ab white guy with beautiful green eyes that rich men want.

I pity the Midwestern white trash. They get blamed for everything on the DL.

R43 I’ve been with MANY Midwestern white guys. I have no issues with them. The issue is this one man who is a complete dick and claims he’s born and raised Chicago when he’s born and raised rural Illinois and moved to Chicago after college that then moves to NYC and is awful to people.

And first impressions last, and his was not good. The top manager walked him around introducing him to everyone and when we would say hi he wouldn’t even say hi back. He had a face of disgust almost. I will never forget and he did that to everyone. Wouldn’t even speak to anyone.

They’re ass over appetite in debt.

Most Americans dont have $500 saved for an emergency. That's horrifying.

In my family, one brother declared bankruptcy twice after blowing all the equity in his house in Vegas. Now lives in senior rent controlled housing.

Another sibling committed a crime, lost everything, started from nothing at 50 and 15 years later has a decent, modest life.

Yet another sibling went through an ugly divorce, was downsized, and in his late 50s is burning through his home equity loan and 401k. Hasn't worked in over 2 years and has no plan to get work.

All of these cautionary tales have made me cautious about money, not spending beyond my means. Being in debt is sheer misery.

How can he "be in Tribeca now" and also live "by Central Park?" Something smells fishy.

[quote] For me, my treat is travel.

Me too. One can travel very cheaply too. You just need good research and planning and, of course, not partying like a rock star just to upload luxurious images on Instagram.

R47 sorry. He lives by Central Park. Her now works in Tribeca as opposed to Brooklyn.

He never lived here. He said he wouldn’t move here from Illinois if he wasn’t gonna live in Manhattan cause it’s “the real city”.

Average debt by age is here... somewhat lower than I thought.

OP: If you work in a distribution center, I higyhly doubt your co-workers who are spending so much money can afford it, unless they are at senior levels of management (VP or above) and even so, how many people re at that level in the center itself?

Sounds like they are living paycheck to paycheck and on credit. Don't be envious.

I remembered these type of threads would pop up a lot in 2005/2006 and early 2007 and then BOOM!

One of the things that often gets overlooked greatly is the extent to which people blatantly lie about wealth, their spending, and their activities. What's also interesting is the extent to which people will go to further their lies. As others have mentioned, people will spend themselves mercilessly into debt, which is one way. But one of the things that's often overlooked is the relative ease with which a person can get subtly coerce others into believing something about them that's ultimately untrue. I've developed something of a faculty when it comes to lying as my job actually deals with a lot of fraud issues, so it amazes me how often people just believe anything they're told. Just to give an example, I was working on a really strange matter where a party was purporting to live a certain lifestyle. Through research and investigation, we determined that this woman was flat-out making everything about herself up. My boss actually described her as more of an actress than a con-artist in that she was basically putting on a disguise and acting out a character. In furtherance of her scheme, she was actually posting photos to social media apps and facebook of exotic locales and private planes and all sorts of hoity-toity things. But they were all images taken from online sources, or if they were her images, they were often staged. She was actually trespassing onto fancy properties and taking pictures by the pools and gardens and entrances of other people's homes, she would rent expensive cars for certain events specifically to be seen in them. It was the weirdest matter I've seen in quite some time. But what was even stranger is that so few of the interviewees, friends and co-workers second-guessed anything she was asserting. They basically just took her at her word. I'm not saying any of your co-workers are at this extreme of a level OP. But the point is that anyone can say anything they want, but without further corroboration statements really mean nothing. Someone may talk about that super long stay at that super posh resort, talk about all the extravagant purchases, etc. but unless you're actually there to witness them, you never really know whether it happened or not. I have an acquaintance who does similar things, albeit not as severe as the previously referenced person. She'll make assertions to try and make herself look better (which is sad because she's a really great person without them), but everything she says is a lie.

Wow r53, I know a woman like that I used to work for, except she actually had the money so it was equally odd she had to flaunt it. I don't mean just buying expensive things it was way beyond that like walking her dog in a full length mink coat while taking a selfie in front of the estate she lived in. She even posted a video of me with her in the car while I was driving, on Instagram bragging about her fancy night out and the car we were in, then sayings its not about the money.

It used to be called "Keeping up with the Jones' "

Before The Great Recession I kept wondering how people with no significant job were buying huge houses. Then I found out.

Simplify, save and try to live within your means. Brace yourselves—winter is coming. If you think it was a shit show under Shrub, wait til things really go to hell under Trump. Glad I own a gun.

No small number of young and young-ish people get decent bits of money from parents and grandparents... who were able to get houses way back when, before prices got berserk, which left them with a relatively large amount of money to invest. When I was in my 30s, my dad would send a grand for birthday and another grand for Christmas. That made the difference between adequate vacation or not bothering and doing something nice, being able to go out more often, etc. It wasn't life-changing, but it made a non-trivial difference.

[quote]I agree with the guy who said their parents could be supplementing things. And also their spouses' incomes.

I worked with a woman years ago who was supplemented by her parents. We worked at a car dealership. I was in accounting and she was one of our administrative assistants. There were things that were off about her. She couldn't handle certain administrative duties like writing descriptions and listings for our site and other similar duties. She had been assigned with another co-worker for those duties. But, she was pulled because she made too many errors. There was speculation among staff that she had some kind of learning disability because she attended a community college and tried a four year college and said it was too difficult for her. She was socially awkward at times and I remember there were some customers who complained if she was working the desk at the service center.

She used to spill a lot of details on her life. She was from wealthy suburb near Chicago and she said she was a trust fund baby. Some people didn't believe her at first. But, a couple of people in the office went with her to a concert in Chicago and stayed at her parents' house and they said it was an 6 bedroom house with a guest house behind it. Her parents were stock brokers. The trust fund baby co-worker would tell us about her parents paying the mortgage on her condo, her car payments, and insurances. People in the office speculated that she did have a learning disability or some issue and the parents were paying for some things because they felt she wouldn't be able to do it all on her own.

The trust fund baby co-worker would be surprised when she would hear about some adult children of upper middle class or wealthy people not receiving certain things or forms of help from their parents. Another co-worker married the son of a surgeon and a pharmacist. That co-worker's husband had his undergrad and physical therapy school expenses paid for his parents. But, his parents didn't give them money for their wedding and they said that they wouldn't buy them a house or help with a down payment. The trust fund baby co-worker baby said she was surprised that the parents weren't doing all that for the other co-worker and her husband. The other co-worker said her husband made a decent income on his own and combined with hers that they felt comfortable with the husband's parents refusing to help them with a house and a wedding.

Trust fund baby co-worker got married and of course, she bragged about her how parents paid for the whole thing. People in the office were annoyed with her during that time. Her now ex husband works in IT and probably makes a decent living. I left that job and moved away shortly after she got married. I kept in touch with old co-workers through Facebook and trust fund baby ended up having a child with spina bifida and chiari brain issue.

After her daughter was born, she was frequently updating on Facebook. She said she was going to quit her job and take care of child. I saw the reasoning for that. She would mention how her parents were stepping in to pay parts of baby's medical bills which weren't covered by insurance or other programs. Several months later, she said that she and her husband were putting the condo on the market and moving in with her parents. The husband left his job and found another one in Chicago Earlier this year, she announced on FB that her husband was divorcing her. Then sometime after that she was complaining on Facebook about how her parents wanted her to put the daughter in a specialized pre school for special needs children so she could return to work. During all the issues with the daughter, she would post pics from Disney or Hawaii vacations, she would mention her husband buying expensive electronics, and other toys. I think her parents finally got fed up at some point.

There are tricks Should I start thread? Hot it down pat

I sure want to know. Some kid 22 yrs old just moved into my building and does nothing but go to gym and blast loud music and smoke pot.

I checked his linked in and he just graduated and had stints working in banks mostly internships for 6 months but now he's home every day for like 2 months now...after his last job listed on his linked in.

R60 I see a lot of young guys moving here to Brooklyn that seem to just sit around all day in cafes or on parks and walking their dogs etc. with zero cares. It blows my mind.

This group of young White 22 year old guys moved here and all live by Barclays and are always shopping buying expensive clothing etc.

I don’t even buy $500 jeans but they do.

That is the way it goes