Freaks You've Hooked Up With On Grindr

I have several - the one that is most clearly burned in my brain - This guy seemed super normal, very cute, decent body. We start making out - great kisser. We start sucking each other, all good. We start fucking, then he mumbles - "I'm super clean and I'm cool if you take off the condom." I say no. A minute later - "could you piss inside me while fucking? You wouldn't catch anything that way even if I did have something." I say - umm, no, and am starting to think it's time to just stop, but we somewhat start fucking again and he whispers very quietly "I need that piss baby, I need that piss." So, of course I stop. Now I'm done because the mood is killed. I apologized for being neurotic (I didn't mean it, I just wanted him gone).

I once hooked up with a guy when I was out of town. He was way too young - I was around 30, he was 19 (yes, I looked at his ID when he was in the bathroom). We had great sex, and I STUPIDLY gave him my cell # - back before I knew better. He left, I locked my room, turned phone off, went to sleep. I woke up to probably 20 voicemails, and at least 60 missed calls. The voicemails were all "WHY AREN'T YOU ANSWERING? I HAD A GREAT TIME. DON'T LEAVE TOWN, COME ON" - super crazy stalkery. THANK GOD he did not know my name, and I did not live in that town. I worried about that for months thinking he'd somehow get the record from the hotel and find me.

After this guy and I finished fucking, I was wiping off, and putting on underwear. I turn around and he is plugging in his phone, and taking his toothbrush out of his backpack. He was super nice, and it was great sex, but I don't want a hookup to spend the night. I said, "Hey, I'm so sorry but I really can't have you spend the night. I feel bad for not being clear up front." I don't remember what else I said, but he gets pissed off. He basically starts talking in an almost-yelling way that he fucking better not ever see me out in public, and all that. Scared the hell out of me.

This is why yall need to go back to supporting the baths and the ABS. Clingy Bitches can't stalk ya

I don't do Grindr, but so far this thread is hysterical. Gimme more, boys. Some people are friggin out of their minds.

R1. "I need that piss baby, I need that piss." That's great. You got any more stuff like that?

People are freaks. Some of you say what you want about bathhouses, but I'd prefer that to hookup apps. I'm not an eldergay, and I've only been to a couple, but still way easier/better than random hookups on an app. Agree with R4. I don't know what ABS is, though.

A few years ago I hooked up with a young guy that I didn't realize lived in my same apartment complex and the next day I saw him afterward out in the main parking lot, and he did the full-on embarrassing queenie "Heyyyyyyyy, last night was so fun!! Byeeeeee" so loud across the parking lot. Awesome, so much for a "discreet hookup."

I never trust the whole supposedly discreet hookup anymore.

ABS = Adult Book Store (or these days it would be AVS aka Adult Video Store. I haven't seen a real ABS in decades. Most of the gay pron magazine companies shut down long ago, didn't they? You might find a tiny selection of pron mags in the video stores but not enough to run a whole store on.

30+ years ago a close friend of mine (non fuck buddy) who took way more chances than he should with random hookups called me one day and asked me to come over. I got to his place and immediately noticed a lot of things were missing in the living room . TV, stereo, all sorts of other things. I asked him what had happened and he sheepishly revealed that he had hooked up with some guy at a bar the night before and the guy had slipped him a mickey and stole him blind what he was knocked out. Then he revealed they guy had stolen his car as well. The car was found 2 days later in a bad part of town on the side of a street with the back windows down. The only things missing was the battery, and the keys. That little episode cured him of his anonymous hookup routine. But sadly it was too late as he had already been given a big "gift" by one (or more) of his hookups. I had to help plan his funeral in '94.

R11 is fun at parties.

R11 I don't think they had Grindr back then. Read the topic... Mary!

Well screeching Mary at R13, I decided that any anonymous hookup would qualify. So if you don't like it, lump it.

One dude asked me to fart on his face repeatedly and shit on him.

This once happened to me late at night in the Rambles (I know . . . ). A clean-cut, Brooks Brothers type in his 40s begged me to lower my shorts and shit so he could eat it off the bench.

Anyone who enjoys dookie consumption should be euthanized.

What's the point of hooking up in this day in age? You have a grand selection on pornhub and Chaturbate?

R18 because I (sadly) cannot suck myself, and that feels way better than just jerking off.

If I could suck myself I'd never leave the house.

How clever and funny r20!!! NEVER heard THAT one before!!!!!!

One guy asked me to piss on him. Then he blew air up my ass so I would fart it out on his face. Finally, I pooped on his teeth.

The only reasons I obliged was I was in my sexualy adventuous stage and would happily try anything once and he had the body and face of a god.

Looking back, I can only laugh and wonder how screwed up someone must be to get aroused by that.

[quote]But sadly it was too late as he had already been given a big "gift" by one (or more) of his hookups. I had to help plan his funeral in '94.

You must be new here. The proper terminology on DL is, “and then he died.”

This very pretentious, well know queen in our town and a full length fur coat out of some sort of red fox or something. You'd see him out in it at parties and the bar, even when it wasn't quite cold enough to be appropriate. Well he had some 22yo rent boy stole it and would wear it out where everyone noticed. It was amusing to see pretentious queen trying desperately to catch the thief. Took him like a month.

I believe in the strangeness of strangers.

R2: What you have to keep in mind is a) Most people are dumb as box of rocks and b) They wouldn't know how to get information.

What is it with the farting???! LMFAO!!!!

I don't believe any of these stories. Virtually all Grindr hookups end before they even begin, when the guy either ghosts you or says that he has a stomach ache or a cold: "Sorry dude, I think I'd vomit if I sucked a dick right now!!"

[quote]Well he had some 22yo rent boy stole it

Oh, dear!

He stole the stole!

Now I’m a bare bear!

^^LMAO

R28 but the rest of us aren't fatties, so people will really show up!

R32:

R11 that is the funniest story ever. I have never laughed so hard. He surely got what he deserved.

This thread forever please!

Also I laughed and spit wine out at R11. Classic.

Yeah, R11 was a real HOOT! Especially the AIDS part!! R11, can you list in detail all the opportunistic infections your friend had? Giggling already in anticipation, popcorn in hand.

I need more!

Not Grindr, but I was jerking off on Skype one time with this HOT stud whose pictures I'd jerked off to for years. Out of the blue he turned on screen sharing so that I could see his desktop. He had a bestiality video playing : ( I was completely shocked and disgusted and didn't know what to do. I've not been able to jerk off to his pics since.

R37, thanks for chiming in. I thought I was losing my mind for a minute. I was thinking what the fuck is so funny about that?

R39 I love it! I want to hear more, more, more Grindr (or other apps/Skype/whatever) freak stories. Entertain me... please.

I always grt the meth freaks who don’t look like their pics. I usually have to leave early.

[quote]I always grt the meth freaks who don’t look like their pics.

??

I met a somewhat normal seeming guy who was into wearing diapers, “baby” play and fecal play that didn’t come out until we met. Ran out of there and stayed off hookup apps ever since.

I've Skyped with a few guys who would at first beat around the bush and then eventually come right out and tell me they want to see me take a shit. WTF is wrong with people?

There are some pretty sick tickets in this town.

So far the thread's title is definitely living up to its name. Yick.

R11 has the best story!! It’s so funny!! Especially that dramatic ending!! What we should do to honor his friend is get some of his stuff that was stolen and sew it in to an AIDS QUILT!!!!! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha We can see the program from the funeral into an AIDS QUILT!! Hahahahahahahaha ha I just love it!

I had a hookup a few years ago with this cute guy, 25 or 26 and we had fun, had good chemistry. He asked if he could spend the night and I said NO and he got really angry. He then spent the next three hours standing outside my building on the street SCREAMING that I gave him AIDS. Was happy when the police came and carted him off.

R11s story should be as infamous as Poo Shoes. She knows how to captivate and is the cure for ADD.

I wound up hooking up with a total psycho who WORE WHITE SHOES AFTER LABOR DAY.

Met a guy who had me over to his garage apartment. When I got there he claimed he'd just moved in and that's why there was no furniture. We started doing the nasty on the floor (it was carpeted), when a big cinder block busted through sliding glass door and almost hit us. It was thrown by his partner. They lived in the house and my hookup had been cheating and meeting guys in the garage apartment.

R49 did you happen to know the guy that R11 knew?

R52 that’s so cool! Did he die of AIDS? We can sew the cinder block into AIDS QUILT!!! (Howls of laughter from the studio audience)

Was once staying at a hotel for work and met a guy who had changed significantly since he'd taken the photos he sent over. I told him it wasn't going to work. He seemed annoyed, tried to argue but left within 10 minutes of arriving.

Upon checkout, I learned that he must have gone down to the bar and ordered about $150 worth of food and drink and charged it to my room.

I told them it wasn't me or anyone I knew, and they removed the charges without any real argument.

R55 That sounds like The Days Inn in Glendale.

Was it?

The petty-revenge story at R55 sort of reminds me of the story someone posted here about breaking up with a shitty boyfriend who subsequently slathered his car with mayonnaise.

R57 Was it low-calorie or full fat mayo?

R57, isn't that equivalent to straight guys getting their cars keyed by angry girlfriends? I know lots of straight guys who had this happen to them. One girl not only keyed his car, but smashed his windows in. This turned him on when he realized she was crazy, and got back with her.

No crazy stories from me, other than people not looking like their pics. I only hook up with guys staying in hotels -- safer that way for me. And I don't have sheets to wash the next morning.

He was over 50 and had a small dick!

Some guy that would not hook up with me because I was at home!

How do you arrange the Skype sessions?

I had two, back-to-back that made me give up Grindr all together.

1. Started messaging with a cute guy whose thing was bathing a guy. Said he wanted to watch me get naked and then take a hot bath while he washed me. No idea why, but it sounded hot at the time, and he was pretty handsome. I got to his apartment and it was filthy. There had to have been five cats there....carpets matted with pee and dirt. Cobwebs everywhere. I tried to leave ASAP, but he took my hand and took me to the disgusting bathroom....tub in the middle of the floor with standing water, Shower curtain covered with mold. I started to retch and ran out.

2. Second guy. About a week later. I actually wound up messing around with him in my apartment. He was nice and asked if we could hang out and watch TV for a bit. I had nothing better to do, so I said OK. Maybe 2 hours later, I told him I needed to go to bed, and he said he wanted to spend the night. I told him I needed to go to work the next day, so no. He starts crying and says he was homeless and needed a place to stay for a few days until his sister came to town to pick him up. I finally told him he had to go because my (nonexistent) wife was coming home later. That worked.

Deleted the app that night.

Craigslist hookup with a firefighter. Started fucking doggy style and then he started punching my back, I was like wtf?! Not to where I would bruise but caught me off guard. Was kind of hot but not something I'd want to happen to me now.

The first time I ever met a guy on Grindr, I went to go meet him at his place. He came out of his front door and it locked behind him, He ended up having to call a locksmith, and we rescheduled. I thought to myself, maybe I'm not destined for hookups, lol.

R63 Your first one sounds like a guy I hooked up with in Queens.

[quote] I only hook up with guys staying in hotels

You're a whore darling.

This one was in the days of 550-TOOL, before Manhunt, Internet or Grindr.

Hooked up with this guy who was into partying which was OK by me. When he got to my place I thought I had hit jackpot because he was very athletic, handsome, masculine, like your stereotypical jacked-up captain of the football team and All-American quarterback. Think Joe Montana meets Tim Tebow.

Then he whips out his paraphernalia and does a hit of crack. I’m still ok with it because the sex was hot. On his second hit, he’s down to leopard bikini underwear (which looked great on him) ... and he starts meowing like a cat in heat. Looong growling meows. The next hour consisted of him doing more blasts of crack, meowing, climbing all over my furniture with bug eyes, and me trying to figure out how I was gonna shoo him out of my apartment and past my Manhattan doorman of the 1990s.

Somehow I managed, and I chucked the story to my life-experience book of tales. It so happened that I shared the story with my then best friend and

“OMG, What’s his name?”

“Mike”

“I had him at my place too, and he wouldn’t leave!!”

In a period of less than two months, both my friend and a fuck buddy of mine had had encounters with the guy we now called Psycho Myko. My FB didn’t fare as well with him, as he had a very spacious, fancy Chelsea apartment (previously owned by some celebrity) and Myko really wanted to stay there doing crack so he caused a big enough scene that involved having to call police in. Something straight out of COPS, underwear and all.

I’m sure many more 550-TOOL horny 90s guys must have crossed paths with him, since he was so attractive, charming, and difficult to say no to. And so are kitty cats...

Oh my dear lord, r51!

I hope you’re doing alright after some counseling.

I'll say!!!

R17 may I put that on a T-shirt and sell it on Amazon?

bump

Not my hookup story, but a close friends. On a regular basis, a longtime friend was fucking a closeted married doctor. My friend wanted to break it off because it was getting serious and he knew the doc wasn't going to leave this wife and kids. The doc was into fisting but my friend would not oblige.

My friend wouldn't tell me the doctor's name, he finally gave me all the info. My mind was completely blown, the doctor turned out to be the husband of one of my female work colleagues! NYC really is a very small world.

I connected with a guy who said he was a bear. Seemed cute enough on the app. When I got there (always with the hotel) he was huge... obese. That's beyond bear to me. And he had this plastic tray of meds he had to take. I asked him what for and he said something about a string of diseases, all related to his size. I didn't want to hurt his feelings, because I am an idiot. It can't be the first time. So I went in the bathroom to think. Thought about just running out. Thought about some elaborate story. Finally I just exited and said I'm afraid this isn't going to work for me, it's me, not you. But that guy was beyond huge and he should have disclosed it. I've never seen anyone that huge.

Had a cute guy, early 20’s, show up with a previously not mentioned service dog needed in case he passed out from an also not previously mentioned illness. I was too weirded out to get hard. I felt bad for him.

R75, are you sure he didn’t have a fetish?

My friend in Atlanta was invited to a hookup where the guy told him he was lying in bed naked and to just open the door.

Well, my friend went and it turned out it was a prank. A security guard tried to arrest him as he was caught entering an abandoned apartment. So he and the security guard fought in the bushes.

People are so weird which is why I try to have as little contact with them as possible.

^ 😂😂😂

This guy asked me to come over and fuck him in his hot tub. He said the front door would be unlocked and to walk on thru to the back yard. When I open the back door, there's 5 guys naked in the hot tub and I wasn't in the mood for all that. I left.

R80 I had something similar to that happen to me, only it wasn't with five guys. I get to this guy's hotel room who I'd fucked once or twice before when he was in town...he leads me inside (it's dark) and suddenly I'm startled by a black dude sitting in the shadows, naked and masturbating. Apparently they'd been fucking prior to me arriving. AWKARD. There was absolutely no fucking mention of a threesome or anyone else being there & I'm not interested in someone's sloppy seconds! I left, pissed that I'd wasted my time and gas going over there, and never talked to that guy again. I'm not into surprises.

R78 SAME.

[quote]Freaks You've Hooked Up With On Grindr

Ways in which I give my identity to the Chinese government.

[quote]My friend in Atlanta was invited to a hookup where the guy told him he was lying in bed naked and to just open the door.

I always punch and delete these "door's unlocked, just walk in, I'll be waiting" scenarios. What annoys me is when they spring that on you while you're sealing the deal after multiple back and forth messages, photo exchanges, etc. Just when you're ready to go they're like "oh, here's a little mindfuck you never signed up for because I get off on it." I'm always afraid it's a prank or worse.

It’s always a bad sign when a trick tells you “door's unlocked, just walk in, I'll be waiting". I fell for it last summer. I drove to the guys apartment, texted him I was in the parking lot, then he replied with his unit number. I walked into a pitch black living room. I was afraid I was going to get attacked and robbed. Once my eyes adjusted I could tell the place wasn’t a bachelor flat, there were kids’ toys and family photos. I asked if he was married, confirmed, and said we had to be quiet because they were all sleeping. There was no need for me to stay, so I left.

I was contacted on Grindr by a skinny middle aged white guy with a face tattoo...I declined his invitation.

I was young and horny. Agreed to meet up with a guy about 25 years older. We were getting it on in his bed. We hear someone entering the house. Scared the shit out of me because I thought he lived alone. Hear a female’s voice yelling out to say she was home. The guy told me to hide in his closet, and not make noise until his DAUGHTER went to bed. He’s chatting with her, I’m (literally) in the closet. About an hour later, he comes back and tells me to leave thru his bedroom window, climb over the fence, and never to contact him again. Stupidly, I complied. Looking back on it, I should have sashayed thru his house naked, as I was making my way thru the front door so his daughter could see the cock that was fucking her father. To make matters worse, he let his dogs out, who chased me as I ran for the fence. Surprised no neighbors called the cops on me.

Funny shit! All of it.

R68 and R24 are the funniest posts I’ve read on DL in a long time. The idea of a hot jock in bikini briefs who suddenly out of nowhere starts acting like a cat....I would have made lasagna and bought a scratching post.

[quote]The next hour consisted of him doing more blasts of crack, meowing, climbing all over my furniture with bug eyes, and me trying to figure out how I was gonna shoo him out of my apartment

Bahahahaha!

R65 was it in Seattle? Because that happened to me once.

A guy from Grindr shows up at my place and smells like urine. Stale urine. I told him it wouldn't work and then he started screaming and bellowing, dropped his pants and started missing everywhere . He scared my cat to death. A neighbor helped me get him out of my apartment. The place reeked so bad , and cleaning and fumigation didn't take away the smell. I ended up moving .

^^pissing

Twice I've been instructed to sneak into people's homes. In one instance, I was told I needed to climb up on the window air conditioning unit and climb in the window, (because complications - no apt buzzer), and in the other to sneak into a large suburban house without making sounds. In that second instance, we went down to the basement apartment (I thought) where this 25-something lived with his parents (big red flag). We had finished our rendezvous, and I was getting ready to leave, when he tells me to dive under the bed - there's his sister, coming home drunk, walking down the stairs and INTO HIS BEDROOM, accusing him of sneaking his neer-do-well ex-bf into the house. I think the commotion woke his parents who then came down to investigate. I was dying. It took what seemed like an hour for everyone to calm down and leave, and then I had to sneak OUT of the house, hoodie all drawn up around me. Humiliating. And I was not young at the time (early 40s). He apologized to me later and invited me back - he was lots of fun in bed, but no thanks.....if I have to be shot, I prefer it be in my OWN bedroom, among my familiar things, thank you.

I haven't had much luck with hook up apps. The last guy turned out to be a lot heavier than he said he was. He came over and sat in my living room and talked nonstop about his life, the things he's overcome, etc. and then he said he liked to be tied up on a sling and fucked hard. I didn't know if my home's support beams could stand the load. He kept calling me until I had to be kinda sharp and tell him I wasn't into him and wasn't interested in fulfilling his fantasies.

[quote]I didn't know if my home's support beams could stand the load.

😂😂

R92 Was he a big asparagus eater?

Hot thirty something guy UWS. Met, great session, then he wants to meet again. OK. Then says he'd like me next time to shit on him...soft loose shit and says to eat prunes and fruit for our next meet.

I left in shock, wondering when someone had shit on him last and if he had really cleaned his body deep. At home stripped threw those clothes in trash and showered for an eternity. I deleted my profile. Prefer to cruise or catch someone's eye.

I think these guys have some sort of disease...what’s so sexy in shitting?

He wanted to be my toilet. He wanted to be degraded and humiliated. It would have been nice had he told me this before we hooked up. I mean people usually charge to do that kind of stuff.

I still have guy that I walked out on because his dick reeked even after I got a shower with him messaging me after a year trying to find out why I left. lol.

I hooked up with a guy when I was visiting Boston for work. He had a hot time, so when I came back to my home in NYC, we kept in contact.

A few weeks later he said he was coming to NYC and that he wants to hook up. He gets to my apartment and we start going at it on my bed.

Suddenly he stops and says,"I'm so tired, I'm going to bed." I was confused but went along with him. i touched him a few times, hoping to get the sex going again. He just said, "we're friends now. We don't have to have sex all the time anymore."

I let him sleep over and he left the next morning. Turns out he was just using me for my bed.

During that day, he kept texting me, hoping to come over to sleep again. I just said, "It was nice knowing you. Goodbye"

I hate being used like that.

That guy really ruined a good thing, r102. If he and you finished the act, I’m sure you wouldn’t have minded seeing him again. What an idiot.

I don’t get the shitting thing either. I had a Grindr hookup last night in a guy’s hotel room. After he got out of the shower, he started going thru his pockets and counting his personal effects to make sure I didn’t steal anything.

I just got a request from some rando asking, "Would you mind if I pushed in your stool?" I told him that I didn't have a stool, but he was welcome to push in my chair.

Geez - sounds like a lot of homeless guys use Grindr as their airbnb. Frightening!

God, I had a string of doozies off Grindr a couple years ago. One dude, close by me, huge dong, great body, not super hot but decent. Seemed like a match. He meets me at his open garage door and I walk in, still seems alright. As he presses the garage door button and it comes down, I notice it's covered in tin-foil (legit tin foil, not that aluminum padding stuff). Kinda weird, but whatever. Walk in and the house reeks of chemicals, like a mad-scientist's lab. Started to get turned off, but really wanna see the dude naked. As we climb the stairs, the dude is having difficulty walking (maybe he's a little drunk). Get up to his bedroom, and the place is freezing and he is dripping sweat. Finally I come to my senses and say I'm too nervous I need to leave. I was so worried he was gonna run after me with an axe or something. I assume he was running a meth lab or something? I don't have any experience with the drug to make an assessment.

Second guy, not too long after. Again, close by, very cute, slender, not hung but no big deal. I get over and knock on the door, and I hear him say come in. I walk up the stairs to the living room and notice he's sitting on the couch naked. OK cool, I can get into that. All of a sudden I noticed his legs were all wonky and a wheel chair in the next room. To be clear, I am not averse to disabled people, but he never told me that up front, and his legs were quite mangled and small. I felt so bad leaving but I told him I just wasn't gonna get it up. He wasn't exactly a freak, but, sheesh, be up front and honest people.

With that said, I had some great encounters on there for a while before. That was kind of when I noticed Grindr going downhill and not the place for me. I still use it, but I don't think I've hooked up with anyone for at least 6 months now, probably more.

Guy arrived at my apartment and looked nothing like his pics. I’m not sure if he had changed since the pics had been taken or if they were of someone else. Either way, I politely declined and showed him the door. He screamed at me (notice I didn’t say he shouted), saying I had wasted his time, that he’d never been so humiliated. And he did this all the way down the hall, down the stairs, then continued ranting on the sidewalk below my windows.

[quote]Hot thirty something guy UWS. Met, great session, then he wants to meet again. OK. Then says he'd like me next time to shit on him...soft loose shit and says to eat prunes and fruit for our next meet.

Never got the scat thing at all. The smell alone is a huge turn off. Besides, who the fuck can take a shit on command?!

You dudes are playing Russian roulette. People are really fucking crazy these days.

I have to agree with R110. These days the gay hookup culture is much more easily accessible via apps and therefore more prone to psychos and the criminal element. Please be careful.

I can't believe all that "gen" crap on Grindr, not to mention the people advertising meth.

Do you still have the sexy cat guy’s number?

R112 So PnP still works? Wow...

Hooked up with this younger guy, great body, very attractive. He was actually really sweet, we had a nice time, and contacted me through the app afterwards to set up another encounter, and even requested hanging out in a date setting. A couple days after I was talking to a friend about the guy and I showed my friend his pics. My friend recognized him and told me about a convo he had with him on Grindr. Apparently the guy was an aspiring porn actor and had an xtube channel with tons of videos of him getting railed by god knows how many other dudes. In addition to that, he was actually featured on some really low-end porn sites. Had no idea, but the discovery dashed any hopes of a repeat encounter, much less a date.

Link, r115, or it didn’t happen.

R115 = Precious Hothouse Flower. You were in it for the sex, right? Q.: What changed if he's still hot?

R117 I like a slutty guy in theory, but, in reality, it's really off-putting to me. And I'm sorry, but no one sexually stable really, truly wants to date/fuck a porn actor. Funny enough, I have a cabin in a remote town of my midwestern state. There is a porn "star" of some fame (as famous as those guys can get nowadays I suppose) from the neighboring town. Around major holidays he's often in the area and he sometimes hits me up when we are both online. And he's definitely hot. Yet I always politely decline his invitations (although he's fun to talk to). Nothing against him personally, but I just really don't want to be a dude who does it with porn people.

This one guy wanted to go out on a proper date first. Freak.

Asking if "generous" = immediate block.

Who falls for this shit?

I was partnered up by the time Grindr came along, thank fuck. But about 20 years ago, I was mid-20s, living in a small city on the West Coast that had no gay bars, and rarely any good prospects on Craigslist. I was desperate for cock and so, late one night, I headed down to a park area that I knew to be a cruising spot. Sat in my car for a while until I saw a dude sort of loitering nearby, completely obvious what was up.

He was older maybe 10 years older than me, not super hot but not obviously disgusting - balding and dressed in bland clothing, looked and dressed like an insurance agent or a public schoolteacher. He worked his way over to my car, and I said, "Get in if you want." He did, we drove to a more secluded area and he pulled out his dick. It was shaved, which I didn't care for, but decent sized, so I went down on him. After a few minutes he said, "Let's go to your place." I stupidly obliged.

We get to my house. In the light, I notice his features are a bit ... harder looking than initially realize. But we're there. He asks if I have any porn, so I pop some Bel Ami in the VCR (sue me, I was in my 20s). He asks if I have any straight porn, I say no. We take our dicks out and start fondling each other a bit, but he's staying soft at this point and seems listless and not into it. I want to at least get an orgasm out of this, but realize I have to pee. I tell him I have to go to the bathroom and will be right back, step out of my pants, leave them lying on the floor and leave the room.

I come back and he's fully dressed again and standing in the living room. "I'm going to head out," he says. OK, I'm actually relieved at this point. I lived in a semi-rural area, and ask if he wants a ride back downtown or somewhere else. "No, I can get home," he says, and quickly leaves.

He's gone. I pick my pants up off the floor. Ohhhhhhh fuuuuuuuuuuuck. My wallet is gone from the back pocket. I rifle through my house, thinking maybe it wasn't in my pocket. But I knew it was. The fucker stole it!

Weird coda: maybe two weeks later, my credit cards canceled, my new driver's license on the way, etc. - a padded envelope arrives in my mailbox, my name and address scrawled on the front with a Sharpie. It's my wallet!! With everything still in it except the maybe $8 in cash that was inside at the time. So weird.

Given that I brought a petty hood inside my house, things could have turned out a lot worse, I guess. But I always had this small fear he'd show up back at my place some night. He never did.

I met a sexy guy online and went to his place. He was even better looking in person. When he showed me into his apartment, I saw that he had Japanese porcelain statues on pedestals, each lit up, as if his apartment were a museum.

I feigned interest and he just said he loved Japanese porcelain. We had great sex and nothing was odd about him, but it was interesting being rimmed while I look out on a bunch of lit up porcelain sculptures.

I agree with some of the earlier replies. Just go to a bathouse. It's anonymous. No one knows where you live or your cell phone number. You sit in a room someones at your door and you have sex. No going to a strangers place and no having to have a strange person at your place.

Prunes and fruit, huh? Thanks for the tip.

Last year, I had some guys come over to my place in San Francisco. When the stench was localized weeks later, they found my head in my aquarium.

Any guy that refers to themselves as a pig, a slut, a whore, or a pup is an instant no.

I finally was to meet up with this skinny twentysomething after going back and forth for over a year. He was nice enough and worked not all that far away so he was stopping by after work. He asked to shower when he got here and if I had a douche he could use (he's 100% bottom-we of course had discussed what was going to go down). He took like 45 minutes in the bathroom and came out fresh as a daisy. We actually had a fun time. We hung out after watching Netflix and he left. I went to take a shower and pulled back the curtain and there was shit smeared down the center of the tub and sorta stuffed down the drain. I mean, what the fuck???

Ew. I hope the sex was worth it tho, r127.

Not Grindr, but a similar site -- Met up with a guy who I really liked -- very handsome ER doctor. Smart, funny, but... he announced right away that he was straight and this was just an experiment. I thought that was weird but we had fun. Saw him a a few more times then he decided that he'd had enough of gay life. (Although I doubt he did.)

But while I was seeing him I was also seeing my therapist who, it turned out, worked out of the same hospital. When I asked him about her, he said she was avidly pursuing him, to the point where she would greet him by kissing him hard on the lips. It was difficult to see her in a session knowing that I was having sex with the man she wanted. I stopped seeing her.

Well, at least she had good ethics, r129, what with discussing not only her personal life, but that of a colleague. How lovely.

R130, try a reading comprehension class, hon.

You’re right, r131. I shall dramatically fall on my sword and offer 1,000 apologies. I just re-read it.

I have sinned against you, DL. Can DL ever forgive me?

With Grindr and/or similar sites/apps from maybe a few years before there was:

The guy that had a fetish for his sex partners to wear very, very white underwear with skidmarks (I politely indicated that I could not assist him at that time, and got the hell out of there)

I've gotten lots of compliments on my broad shoulders, but despite having a few hot hookups (and massages) I remember two freaks who were into them the most: One of them begged me - I do mean beg, in a way you never want a grown man to do - to let him ride my shoulders and/or back like a horse. The other one wanted me to wear a dinosaur mask and roar like a monster while he tried to hold me back by my arms and shoulders....and while he jacked off and jacked me off. I was out the door before he even finished that sentence.

I'm sure I've run into others but there's a difference between just plain quirk and a real weird fucking bit of business.

Back in 99 a midget(little person) who was drunk walked up to me(his head only reached just above my knee) and started humping me leg. Awww. This was not on Grindr but in a bar. It was so unusual I had to mention it here.

Yes gods, r133, your dinosaur guy is right there with Psycho Myko AKA the Cat Guy.

So I had just broken up with my bf at the time who adored scat. I missed him and in an attempt to feel like I still had him I started going for scat guys.

This one tells me he's into "light scat". Cool. Never been into in too much anyway.

We end up meeting at his. He tells me to lie on my stomach, I know he wants to play. So I take my clothes of and lie ass naked on the floor.

Usually when I take a bm I take it with my eyes closed as this enhances the warming sensation of the bm for me.

Suddenly I feel not solid warm shit dropping onto me but a kind of liquidy substance. Is he peeing on me? No. It's DIARRHEA.

Scat guys, diarrhea isn't cool. And if you're into that let us know!

[quote]This one tells me he's into "light scat". Cool. Never been into in too much anyway.

Honey, you are definitely into it.

r129 is writing a screenplay.

Not Grindr but, I think, A4A. Chatted with a decent-looking guy and we arranged to meet later that day. I drove to his place and he met me outside, then took me into a basement apartment. An apartment that had half a dozen monitors playing various gay porn videos. Oh, and did I mention that the bed was already occupied by two guys fucking? He assured me that they would be done in a few minutes and then we could have the bed for our own encounter.

Scat and granny people should stay off grindr or allow us to filter them off For god sakes. I need to bath in hand sanitizer after reading all this

^^Doesn’t Grindr have filters?

I walked inside and he slid a big railroad tie diagonally across the door as a lock. Weird but kind of conceptual. I wasn't thinking paranoid schizophrenic yet. He left the room for a few minutes. When he came back he was wearing a little leather slave outfit. He'd done some drug or just had a psychotic break because he was now convinced i was someone who'd done him wrong. He gave me a knowing look and said "I remember you now." I'm still dressed, sitting in his living room wondering where this is going. The atmosphere was seriously creepy. Suddenly, he rushes over to me and presses a nail gun to the side of my head and looks deep in my eyes. I just calmly spoke to him, not breaking eye contact and also not realizing the nail gun wasn't connected to a power source. After about five mins I felt I had reached him, so I got up slowly, pushed aside the door "lock" and left.

R142 = 0/10

One word: Tourette's

One time when I was younger I hooked up with a dude who looked great online but ended up living in a really dumpy apartment and whose living room was essentially piles of crap a la Hoarders. I figured it was good for a blow job at least but right after he started his neighbors began this loud violent argument right outside his apartment window. It totally killed the vibe and I figured it was only a matter of time before shots were fired or the cops showed up so I told him this wasn’t working for me anymore and left.

Chinese govt now demanding that Grindr pass on details of all users-not just poz guys.

So when they invade California they can round us up easily

A friend of a friend had a very specific fetish. He likes to dress up as a woman and get fucked by black men. He had two guys over from Grindr, they beat him up and robbed him. Okay, lesson learned but then he tries Craiglist a few months later, meets up with the same two guys who rob him again. I’ve deleted Grindr because of this, the Chinese ownership, the fakes and so many other reasons. Tinder is better and you actually get a date option

Human sexuality is a sad, disgusting business.

Human sexuality is an infinitely fascinating subject!

Heterosexuality is a dull and boring life!

Not Grindr, but gay.com weirdo. This was then I went back to college for a masters. I was in my early 30s and at the peak of my looks, and totally not into relationship building, so perhaps a bit arrogant about meeting guys. Unfortunately I was in a small college town, and very quickly ran out of guys to hook up with. One guy had been texting me for over six months wanting to meet, but there was something a bit “off” about him and I had led him on, but evaded meeting. Anyway, one weekend, with nothing else to do, I let him talk me into meeting. He suggested dinner at a fancy lakeside restaurant one town over and I agreed, with the stipulation that it was only going to be a dinner date since I had an inflexible rule about not having sex on the first meeting (yeah, I lied). Anyway, I turn up at the restaurant and sit for about 20 mins waiting for the dude to show up. Finally, in waddles this guy who looks almost exactly like Oliver Hardy. At least 350 pounds at 5-10. And if that wasn’t bad enough, he had drawn on a goatee with black marker, in an effort to either look slimmer, or as a disguise so that I wouldn’t recognize him as a research assistant who worked in the science labs. Anyway, we sat through dinner, during which I tried to look everywhere except his painted-on beard and the waiters laughing at us. Halfway through, I actually started enjoying myself and laughing inwardly at the sheer surreal-ness of the moment, with me trying to keep the conversation as neutral as possible and him asking very probing questions about my sex life.....

Anyway, in the parking lot, as we are about to leave, he invites me over to his place for drinks which I decline with an excuse. I arrive back at my student housing to find a long email from him detailing how he thinks I am “probably” a nice guy but he feels “compelled to let you know” that I am totally not the type of guy he is attracted to and wishing me the “best of luck in your future endeavors.” I typed back a gracious reply email only to discover he had blocked me completely.

I just read R11

I deal with wry amusement and politeness at freaky and fetishistic hookups. I say "OH wow that must be exciting" or "how marvelous" or "you're kinky" with a big smile and wink but then invent some excuse for not participating in the things that turn me off. Why I can't deal with elegantly are anal warts and dirty asses. And I SAY something and I don't want to the sex to continue after one or both of these has been noted. Now I know many people would invent an excuse and not say something but flat out say - "Do you know you have anal warts? You need to get that treated."

Needless to say, men's reactions to this confrontation vary widely.

Not a single guy has every said "I know, and so what."

R154 It sounds like you're pretty popular within the dirty ass/anal wart community.

^^There's something you don’t hear every day.

I've been with the same guy for near three decades. But in my 20's and into my 40's I had plenty of opportunities that I had to decline. Even in my dotage of the 50's I still get guys coming on to me. It's amusing. One was a cute cab driver but I had to decline.

But one story from my mid 20's sticks out. I was roomates with another gay guy. One night he takes this cute kid home. They go in his room to do the deed. Later on the kid comes upstairs to my loft and starts crawling into bed with me. Oh hell to the fucking no, I have not and never will do sloppy seconds.

Then another time roomie comes home with a guy - seems the guy and I had met each other a year or two before. That blew roomies mind.

R157 How old are you?

There are too many creepy married guys on the apps to even bother with them anymore, at least around here.

Once I was fucking a dude and he suddenly cried out, “Oh yeah, fuck that pussy, she’s been BAAAAD!” I started laughing and couldn’t stop and ultimately left.

My friend arranged to meet a guy on Grindr, he went over to the guy's place and the guy meets him at the back door and ushers him into the kitchen.

The guy explains to my friend that his wife is out at the bingo and his twins are upstairs, so they'll have to be quiet when fucking. My friend asks where on earth are they going to fuck and the guy gets out the dog blanket!

They fucked and my friend left.

R160 I had a guy I was fucking scream "Oh Yeah, Play with my titties", needless to say, I didn't go back for a second round.

"Oh, yeah, play with my pretend wanna-be trans lady titties."

I let myself be talked into a 3 some with a straight married couple I had met online. The guy was Sam Elliot smoking hot with a solid 9 inches and his wife was attractive enough,but I have never ever been into women. Long story short,its quickly apparent the guy and I clicked and pretty much focused on each other. I guess wifey got pissed,because right as he slid that big gorgeous dick in to the hilt she jumps off the bed and starts screaming like a banshee. Hes still thrusting away as he screams back at her. I got totally freaked out,jumped up and grabbed my clothes and ran out the door naked.You could still hear them screaming half a block away.

"Pound my love canal!"

So be honest, has anyone here read one of these stories and discovered it was about you?

I hooked up with a gay couple when I was in my 20s and it soon became clear that one was only going along with it to appease the sexual appetite of the other and one queen was not exactly into it.

When said angry queen started to get a little too rough with me, I had to stop and hit the reset button and clarify I wasn’t there for them to work out their issues on. I soon finished and left the house so that the War of the Gay Roses could start. I wonder who survived.

I don’t understand couples who play together and end up getting pissed because someone is having too much fun. If you can’t play nice with others, stay home and fuck with a porno playing.

I think some dwarves are hot. I would totally hook up this guy. I think he would be hot af.

That dwarf not my type but others seems interesting

It gets better R163 this guy was married (he's why I've avoided married guys since) he picks me up and there is a car seat in the back of his car...ugh. Oh, And after fucking him doggie style in an old shack by the side of the highway(Yeah, even longer story) when I pull out post Titties scream my cock looks like it's been dipped in old chocolate frosting, thankfully, I was wearing a condom (always do) and you can bet your ass I made him take it off me!

Rambling, Rose.

Delicate eldergays who can't bring themselves to type "shit-coated dick".

Good grief, I think I'd have PTSD if any of this stuff happened to me.

I actually did meet a dwarf on Grindr. I was a little drunk and he sent me pic of his rather large dick, so I was like what the heck. We started making out when he said he had to use the bathroom. After what seemed like a really long time he came out wearing nothing but a thong and those little twirly things on his nipples, like old time strippers used to wear. He produced a boom box and proceeded to lip sync 'I Did it My Way' at top volume. Well, I don't consider myself to be closed minded or anything but I was starting to feel uncomfortable so I asked him to leave. I never did get around to seeing his big dick.

R174, did you not see the boom box when he entered? I mean, it had to be bigger than he was-I just googled what is a boom box and its a HUGE radio.He is a midget...so....

way too EST R174

Horrible creative writing job, R174.

Why are assholes really into Frank Sinatra?

Met up with a hot married guy who wanted to suck me off in his truck. Usually not my thing but I said what the hell. We get in the backseat for more room and after I finished I realized I was sitting on his Bible. Gotta love the closet cases.

bluetooth speaker and “Minnie the Moocher” would’ve done more for your EST, r174.

Closet cases that make you jump through multiple hoops of of paranoia to hook up and then only want you to suck them (or you to suck them) wearing a condom.

The other extreme is the guy that wants you to come over and will leave the the door open so you can fuck them sight unseen.

No.

*(or they want to suck you)

There are guys that post those open door anonymous videos on XTube and in one the guy getting fucked mentions his wife a few times, so it was far more creepy than hot.

A guy I hooked up with spent an hour trying to get his computer to work and then fell asleep when it was time to fuck.

The threesomes with couples can be really sad if both parties aren't totally into you. It happened once with me. This guy was a recently divorced guy with 2 kids and he'd just started dating his partner at the time who was around my age. The partner was sweet and fun to talk to, but I just wasn't terribly interested in him. The divorced guy was quirky hot - very tall with one of the biggest cocks I'd ever seen in my entire life. We played around twice and then I'd still get invited over to their house, but the guy my age would always find excuses not to have sex. The divorced guy would start texting me, asking me to meet up when his boyfriend wasn't around and I'd laugh it off and say "only if he says its ok".

Pretty soon after, I stopped hanging out with them and I learned later that they'd broken up a few months after that, because the guy my age discovered that the divorced guy was fixing his wild oats with some other guys (including a mutual friend of ours). I had a feeling and was glad I never took the divorced guy up on his offers. Oddly enough, the guy my age and I became semi-close friends for a bit until he moved away.

My other threesome experiences were a blast, though. In fact, I preferred them to other hookups, because you knew from the start that it was strictly sexual and emotions needed to be checked at the door. There was never any of that "why hasn't he called?" or "you think he likes me" bullshit.

I knew a mixed gay couple who both enjoyed playing and would hook up regularly. It was funny though, because if the third was white and the Hispanic half of the couple was a little to into him, the white half of the couple would get insanely jealous. And if the third was Latino and the white half of the couple was a little to into the him, the Latino half of the couple would be pissed.

One time I went to their house and there was a hole punched in the wall in the bathroom. I asked what happened and was told that they’d hooked up and the Latino half of the couple was a little to enthusiastic about the white play partner so his partner punched a hole in the wall in frustration and jealousy.

Ridiculous.

^^^ Maybe they should limit the third to Blacks and Asians?

It's when they ask you to piss on them pre-fuck I find off-putting on a Grindr date.

No mention of piss in pre-meet conversation, but when you get there and start the foreplay, out they come with it. Most offputting.

R185 Maybe they should grow up and stop having threesomes. Or just break up if they want another piece of ass so badly.

There's always something off with these people who engage in group play regularly.

R188 Really?

How so?

R188 that’s the truth!

[quote]I have several - the one that is most clearly burned in my brain - This guy seemed super normal, very cute, decent body. We start making out - great kisser. We start sucking each other, all good. We start fucking, then he mumbles - "I'm super clean and I'm cool if you take off the condom." I say no.

Smart. He was trying to get pregnant.

[quote]A minute later - "could you piss inside me while fucking? You wouldn't catch anything that way even if I did have something."

Oh... Ummm....

[quote]I say - umm, no, and am starting to think it's time to just stop, but we somewhat start fucking again and he whispers very quietly "I need that piss baby, I need that piss." So, of course I stop. Now I'm done because the mood is killed. I apologized for being neurotic (I didn't mean it, I just wanted him gone).

Kill it with fire!!!!

I think I just have a good eye for spotting freaks. I make all my hookups provide three references-- two personal, one professional-- and run a full background and credit check before any "fun" can commence. After checking their references I make sure they sign a release of liability form that protects me from any legal consequence should they injure themselves on my custom built toilet/squatty chair and at last they're ready to take a shit right in my open mouth from several feet above.

Stay safe out there folks!

r164 was that in Cleveland?

Yum

I think a good thread would be “I’m the freak that scared a Grindr hookup.”