Eldergays, what was life like in the days of the Australopithecus?

Massive pussyhound. Big Urook supporter.

I've had better.

She died far too young. Charming personality but not very bright. One hide short of a coat if you know what I mean.

She was my cousin, you know.

All you have to do is look at the Trumps, pere et fils to know the answer.

Everyone was on the paleo diet back then, we looked fantastic!

If they would just shave or at least trim....

Die in giant sloth grease fire, Olivia/R3, she was a damn sight smarter and more evolved than your hillbilly Ardipithecus cousins. She just had bad luck with men.

Lucy was a slut.

[quote] She just had bad luck with men.

Mostly women. Let’s call a spade a spade. And this was before spades.

It was rough. But she could reach higher than the other chimps.

Cher was still in her 60s and about to launch her Farewell Tour.

Maybe in your Luddite neck of the woods, Oliva/R10, but there was already a Home Depot at Lomekwi, on the non-trailer trash side of Lake Turkana.

Lucy in the Sky of Diamonds

Lucy thought she was all that and a bag of chimps.

I Loved Lucy.

I preferred Vivian Vance.

“Get off my cave!”

[quote] on the non-trailer trash side of Lake Turkana.

Homo sapiens sapiens dying to this day in that horrid Lake Turanka much as they did when Lucy’s species was around although it was less saline then. As we say here in Paris “plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose". (Sigh)

Oh, Paris....Lucy went off to study art in France and came back full of airs and graces.

[quote] Oh, Paris....Lucy went off to study art in France and came back full of airs and graces.

She studied at the Sore Bone.

And people, and by people I mean that Mr. Ryan Murphy, say I don’t have a sense of humour.

Lucy wanted to evolve, but Gary talked her out of it.

Real humans no drain big pot with elephant head yum yum.

This thread is cracking me up, Thanks, DL!

She was a real nit-picker.

Ethel, look what happened to YOUR rudimentary carcass-butchering tools!

Everyone was telling Madonna she was too old to still be getting her tits out.

[quote] Everyone was telling Madonna she was too old to still be getting her tits out.

Not to defend the tramp, but in those days everyone had their tits out.

Gurllllll. That Lucy would hurl her feces at ANYONE who threw shade on her. That bitch have zero fucks.

^ gave

Total attention whore. She be all like "I'm gonna die right here so dey find my bones in 50,000 years and I'm gonna be all famous an shit"

Cain really was able!

Jocelyn Wildenstein looked human.

[quote] Jocelyn Wildenstein looked human.

Perhaps, but the smilodon, also known as the sabre tooth tiger, gave her dangerous ideas with disastrous results.

Nice of you to post a pic of Eric and Don, Jr., OP!

Is this where the Australopithecine goes up into the Piltdown Man?

Body hair was everywhere and completely socially acceptable. We were all hairy beasts and no one batted an eye. A refreshing change from today's overwaxed mannequins.

Eldergays, back then, how did you cope without Instagram?

R38 We painted our likeness on cave walls.

Ask Erna!

Those were the good times, son. The good times.

Mioceneals think they first to bang rocks together. They no join hunt, they stay in cave, they make wall paintings of gazelle flesh before eating it. They think they Og’s gift to bipedal hominids.

Sat what you will, but my loincloth always matched my Folsom-point spear!

Bobby Trendy just celebrated his 29th birthday!

R20 Don't you mean hairs and graces?

The ice age DL fraus used to make thread after thread speculating on who killed Otzi the Iceman. Some of their theories were absurd.

I heard Otzi was killed by his gay lover. He had an Asian wife, you know what that means!

once you've had neanderthal cock, there's no going back

[quote] Sat what you will, but my loincloth always matched my Folsom-point spear!

They had Folsom Street Fair back then?

[quote] The ice age DL fraus used to make thread after thread speculating on who killed Otzi the Iceman. Some of their theories were absurd.

I’ve heard about some cave dwellers in Siberia who died mysteriously. Does anyone know what I’m taking about? If so will you please start a thread about this?

Trans gatherers are real gatherers.

Life was so much better when we lived together in trees, but don’t try telling that to today’s primates. Sex was more discreet then. Sure, we occasionally fell to our deaths while fucking, but we would never even think of walking erect all day like kids today.

I hate my friend Lucy. That bitch tried to take credit for MY mitochondrial DNA!

Lucy was 3'7," hairy all over, and had a brain the size of a modern chimp's.

In other words, a Giudice.

I never met Lucy but I used to fuck her husband, which naturally she knew nothing about.

Was Lucy a frau?

Social events involved picking the fleas off each other backs and eating them.

R56 Yes she was the biggest Frau on the planet. The gatherers had to stop bringing back nuts because she claimed her kids were deathly allergic and could only eat fresh fruit , vegetables , and wooly mammoth.

Recent news reports claim Lucy was using poppers when she died.

[quote] Yes she was the biggest Frau on the planet.

How many fraus were there at the time?

"Lucy" may have been misgendered by the patriarchal scientific establishment.

lol R58

Lucy stated her boundaries to the other australopithecines.

R63 Well to be fair,they were all narcissists who were constantly gaslighting her (or should I say firelighting )

Lucy was one hot bitch.

Oh honey, we had a BLAST. You can't even imagine.

r65 but too bad the coffee wasn't hotter.

Lucy was a sex freak. Into hardcore BDSM with clubs and stone-gags.

Otzi's death was a cover-up. They found meth, poppers, and sex mask made from animal skin with his body.

What’s a stone gag?

R69 Yes , I agree. Even members if his tribe had become suspicious at his unusually long "hunting and gathering " trips. Especially since he barely seemed to bring back anything.

This thread is really bringing me back!

She customed ordered her Big Macs . You didn’t want to be behind her in line.

Wall carvings or it didn’t happen.

Lucy was probably hanging around the jungle somewhere.

What queeny art major was responsible for the Lascaux cave paintings?

Lucy was decidedly middle class.

Yesterday when I was young ...

Lucy and her family were aspirational, but Lucy didn’t pass any A levels. Such a pity.

She dated Peking Man for a while, but after only 30 minutes she wanted to have sex again. She was just like my mother; she’s never satisfied. Peking Man was exhausted by her.

Life was simpler then ...

We had Calftans then

It was very rough OP. At 25 ,you were considered an eldergay.

But at 25, did you look 13, r83?

R84 Closer to 12, thanks to a steady diet of fruit and vegetables and my parents excellent genetics.

We never really got on... Don't know why.

Lucy always shaved her bush. It looked Very weird.

I don't know why everyone is beating around the bush, Lucy was trans. That's how the area where she/he lived got trans in its name(the Transvaal). Unfortunately, soft tissue decay erased any signs of her/his surgeries. The name was not always Lucy, she/he preferred to be called Lucky. Fortunately, we had universal health care coverage so it was never a big issue for anyone with a dimorphism. Lucky was really into nuts because she/he didn't have any, this is one of the reasons many gave her/him a wide safety boundary. But, I presumed you could tell that by how her/his bones weren't scattered.

Cavemen were very handsy.

Her jaw was huge but easily came unhinged.

She was very popular.

It was awful. Hairy asses on the men folk. AND, stank sleeve !!!

When I lived in the Acacia tree grove next to Lucy, I remember the insane parties! She was quite the hostess with her Cha-Cha bone heels that made her quite tall and stunning. Everyone would chatter in the treetops at night over when her next big event was. Her husband as I remember on one of the lower branches of a company tree that supplied hand-sized rocks for throwing at Cheetas. He was kind of boring but could play a mean game of Rock in Hole and usually had a good score. I played with him once but our foursome became a threesome after the 6th hole. Fucking Lions.

Anyhoo, she was a doll, and always was on some errand or going to some meeting to help the grove. She was very supportive of the "Cut Your Grass" group, "Neuter Your Sloth" and had an excellent Bridge club. She had two sons, Urg and Durg. Urg was very handsome and athletic he later went on to the Cave Place for Higher Learning on a Grunt Run scholarship. Durg was different, but she loved them both, he was a bit light in the tree climbing but could find anything in the tall grass where he would spend hours.

As active as she was in the grove, she still had time to be there for everyone and was generally a great loving kind of human.

Her chimp-outs were legendary

The mosquitoes were terrible.

Everyone was uncut

[quote]Die in giant sloth

Don’t even *mention* that bitch in my presence please! Drained her pasta AND cooked her lasagne noodles — AND spelled it lasagna.

She had fibromyalgia but no one believed her.

Did any of you Brit DLers fuck Cheddar Man?

No T-Dance. :(

We loved to go out clubbing

Our favorite song was "We Didn't Start The Fire" ... because it was true.

The stench from her pussy peeled the paint off the cave walls. Lucky bitch.

glamour was ape-ic

I remember always having a bone to pick with someone.

What is wrong with you people? To pick two examples at random: It should be: "Lucy always shaved THEIR bush." "THEY were a real nit-picker."

Aren't we EVER going to get with the program?????? Are we always going to be using our outmoded, Caveperson lingo?

Lucy was a cunt to me.

Her rent check bounced.