Jennifer Lawrence Engaged to Cooke Maroney

Getting married after a few months is always a great idea, Jen! You'll do great!

He looks better with the shades.

He looks 35 going on 55.

She could have done better in the looks department

I'm wary of her marrying as she has FASD and the idea of her procreating isn't favourable. But, her husband is hot, his genetics could balance it out.

Yeah, they look really happy. I think she is broody, and wants a baby like her buddy Amy Schumer, who married quick.

That makes sense R5

The clock is ticking!

Can he knock her up and she can go away for even longer?

I'm looking forward to a tumultuous white trash marriage followed by a tumultuous white trash divorce.

R3 that was before the world found out she’s a prostitution whore.

What does he do?

She’s so gross.

Has-been casting couch queen.

He director of the Gladstone 64 art gallery in NYC R10

R13 he sounds like a “sex addict”

Is there a cute portmanteau nickname yet?

I would have never thought in 2012 she would be sort of washed up by 2019. But it is not as if she ever needs to work again.

He must be 6'5" or something.

Will she trip and fall at the altar?

Height-wise: Cooke is to Jennifer as Jennifer is to Jodie

What a tower of man 👨 I bet that girth and length satisfy Ms JLw

Yeah - there definitely sex appeal there. And confidence.

If they actually do go through with marriage, I give it two months tops before he gets sick of her shit. She is exhausting.

When you cooke maroney do you then pour it into the colander in the sink to strain it, or put the colander on top of the pot and then pour off the water?

According to the internet, so you know it must be true, he’s 6’3” and she’s 5’9”

R24 That can't be right. He's at last a foot taller.

Harvey's gone; she's in need of another 'Host.'

He looks like a complete and total douchebag, which is perfect for JLaw’s trailer park upbringing.

I'm actually surprised because he has always looked mildly disinterested when he's with her. He looks older than 34 for sure! He's cute, but not at the same time. Maybe she's already pregnant. If not, I can see them not making it to the altar.

She’s marrying him to try and rehab her image from a prostitution whore to wifey.

But we ain’t ever forgetting. Trust me, I’ve tried.

Didn’t Lohan, off all people, out this bitch years ago?

R30 I always believed Lohan.

R23 It depends. If you are making maroney and cheese you should drain the maroney in a colander so that the sauce maintains its creamy thickness. If you are topping with a thick marinara sauce, you want to lift it out of the pot with a straining spoon or deftly with tongs so that moisture clinging to the maroney aids in the distribution of flavor

R31 me too

Well at least I never tried to steal homeless kids, cracky!

Dude, you are marrying a drunken, blithering idiot.

I bet she's pregnant.

I don't know if JLaw earned her career off her back, but if she did, I'd say it more than paid off. She had a couple years on top of the industry, and even if she never works again, she'll be a wealthy woman the rest of her life (barring any Johnny Depp-style stupidity).

Who among us wouldn't sleep with a whale if we were guaranteed her outcome? I sure as hell would.

Many would, R37, even if there was no payoff.

Cooke, Cooke, Lend Me Your Comb

But she’s still awful with a gross, obnoxious attitude. If she wasn’t so unpleasant, people would be more forgiving.

R16 and tbh I find it a little disappointing b/c admittedly, I have a soft spot for Jen.

I don't care about the casting couch or Fappening shit--in fact, I actually like her more for it. She's a randy cock-loving gal who came from an ordinary middle-class background with zero connections to showbiz and was ambitious enough to fuck her way to the top, good for her. What did slightly ruin her for me was learning that she hung out with the fucking Kardashians of all people.

Those whores ruined my marriage. I LOVED him! TRUE LOVE!

r41 imagine that, someone who fucks for movie roles doesn't have any standards.

R41 Like attracts like.

He looks like the type who would disappear in a crowd. Totally ordinary looking.

This is really sudden. I wonder if it's just to draw attention away from all the bad press she's gotten involving Harvey. I don't see them making it down the aisle. He's gross, but if she likes it whatever. She went from Nic Hoult to a bunch of ugly dudes.

He looks like his in his late 40s and she looks like she’s in her 30s. Her career is over. She needs a new vocation.

R15-- Marjen

I prefer Coonifer

Good for her. He's fucking HOT.

Coojen

Neynifer

Jenke, which is an actual German boy's name. In this case we can pronounce it like "Janky."

Better than hitching her trailer to GOOP's ex. Could you imagine having to step parent her brats? Sharing holidays with Goopster?

She'd have suicided within three or four years after she said "I do."

This guy is better. Not nearly as pretty as Nic Hoult but not many are. They'll be fine.

I love Jennifer Lawrence.

Irish or Scottish genes?

zzzzzzzzzzz

Her face looks like a tightly pulled mask. Surgery and Botox.

Unfortunately Mr. Weinstein will not be available to walk the bride down the aisle, but he says he's fine and sends his love.

Weinstein butt fucked this ugly troll.

I wonder if she'll drop out, like Debra Winger? And in 20 years Millie Bobby Brown will make a documentary about her.

Say I do and kiss me quick 'cause baby's on its way?

What happened to her and Gene Stupnitsky? They were together last year for like a minute, then she showed up with this guy the Art Dealer. Stupnitsky is hot and talented, also older and more mature.

Well he certainly went all out on the engagement ring

R64 took me a second to realize that there was actually a stone on that ring, lol. I thought it was just a plain band at first. Good on her for not going the usual gaudy starlet route I guess.

R63 so I guess a guy needs to have a weirdass name to date Jlaw

Gene Stupnitsky is cute. What did Lindsey say about JLaw? Missed that one.

Did she ever get her GED after dropping out of high school?

[R67] She's worth $130 Million, she can buy one.

PUKE!!!!

I like the tiny ring too. The huge diamonds just say, "Look how rich my husband is."

Lohan said " “I’m sorry, I’m not going to f**k for roles,” Lohan said." after saying about JLaw, "she's so fake."

No Linds, you just fucked for drugs, booze, boredom or a place to sleep. You're such a class act

Well, mazel tov to the happy couple; I guess she didn't make a big show of it like that fool Chris Pratt, however, if she **really** wanted privacy, she could've quietly slipped away & married that guy a la JFK Jr. I can't help but wonder if more than anything, she wants to change the story & the possibly ensuring bad publicity from the Weinstein trial to "JLaw in love!"

As far as getting tired of her shit, he's not an actor or celebrity so he'll let her have the spotlight while he stands back & rolls his eyes at the spectacle - so maybe he's a keeper.

She was likable when she first became famous but she became so hard and condescending quickly. Plus she did not deserve an Oscar for Silver Linings Playbook nor did she deserve The Golden Globe or Oscar nomination for Joy (A.K.A. The Miracle Mop movie)..

Outside of her franchise movies she's only had a couple of box office hits and she has no movies lined up apart from another X-Men. Didn't she say she was taking a year off to politically empower girls or somethin'? :o

Say it with me Jenn, PRENUP!!

R74 He may already come from money. He's an art gallery owner--isn't that one of those jobs where the sole purpose is getting idle, feckless rich kids occupied and out of the house until their grandparent kicks the bucket? Another one is "jewelry designer."

No way that's the actual ring, people. She'd never be with a poor schlub. The ring was described as a rock.

Lawroney

Any chance this is a lavender arrangement and J-Law is a lesbian?

She's marrying a cook? We don't recommend marrying or associating with the help in any way.

R78 she has sucked a lot of cock and got a lot of facials to be a lesbian......

Those "stackable" rings are very now.

She's marrying a Macaroon Cookie?