Signs Of Closeted Guys

Fucking gay men in a park

Made me laugh ,R1. Thanks.

Cargo shorts!!

Sunglasses when it's not even sunny!!!!!!!

Much older wife.

Comments too specifically on women's clothing or accessories. "Those Manolos are to die!"

Brings up bi or gay themed films or books even in front of their wives in mixed company. Interest in the arts way beyond the wife level.

Can someone please explain to an idiot newbie (myself) what the connection is with an Asian female and closeted guy?

All the beards I've seen have been white but perhaps I'm looking to the wrong type of guys (Leonardo DiCaprio, Bradley Cooper, etc.)

One of my closest friends (straight) is married to an Asian female. Yes, he's definitely straight, and he's not a dweeb 'who couldn't get anyone better', nor is it a 'get my papers' hookup (she's a citizen). Come to think of it, she's just as white as him except for her physical appearance.

I must be missing something

Most closeted gay men think nobody who is straight knows.. A guy who reported to me had a sugar daddy and took trips to Asia and Europe. I knew exactly what he made and those evenings at the steakhouse and preppy clothing didn't fit his budget.. He got a nose job gratis from a happily married surgeon with 2 kids and a wife. Explanation: some like a boy on the side.

Well Asian women like to social climb, and I assume a CLOSET GAY man would like to marry a woman he is not attracted to. WIN WIN situation tbh.

(7) I live in the PNW. Upper level of education level is strong with Asians and Caucasasians. The two grow and go to elemetary, junior and highschool. They are peers financially and educationally. Most Asian women are far more agressiive in business. The closeted gays may favor the slim hipped flat chested asian women.

[quote]Can someone please explain to an idiot newbie (myself) what the connection is with an Asian female and closeted guy?

There is NO connection. This is the ranting of an old queen who hasn’t socialized since the early 90s. Trust me...white dudes that date Asian women have a ridiculous amount of straight anime porn on their hard drives. They're fetishists.

This is all bullshit from gay men in love with the idea of being swept off their feet by bi or straight men.

R11, Untrue.

Spends more time in the restroom than the tool aisle at home depot.

I am the polar opposite of an "old queen" in everyway possible.

Look, no one is claiming that every closeted gay man marries an Asian woman, but as is the case with most stereotypes, there is a lot of truth within. It is not only white closeted men either. Black women know only too well that the petite Filipino wife with the lush mane of straight ebony hair is a dead giveaway.

A successful gay man makes an excellent partner and a very good father. He won't ask for much in the bedroom. He will give her free rein with the checkbook and credit cards. In turn, she won't yak his ear off or delve into his private life.

Win win.

I agree it's ridiculous to assume that any white man dating an Asian woman is likely gay or bisexual.

I have fucked/dated two guys who I found out had Asian girlfriends (one while we were dating, the other after), and another one cruised me and hit on me repeatedly at the gym and asked me if I wanted to go out for dinner. He was touchy, flirty and got really nervous at the end. He wanted a kiss but had no idea how to make the move. I hugged him instead and he asked me out again. Surprise surprise, he had an Asian girlfriend. I fortunately saw them together before the date. We went out anyway, talked it out, kissed him. He wanted to go further, but I told him I wouldn't do that to another person, guy or girl. I ran him to again months later when I was dating someone else. He had broken up with her. If I hadn't ended up in a relationship I would've dated him again.

Do I think it's a sign? No. Do I think it's weird, yes. If I were Asian, no. But somehow, I've dated / slept with a lot of guys but only one other one besides these three who had a girlfriend (as far as I know).

The men I know who are married to Asian women... all ping to me.

Fwiw, I work with a guy whom I suspect is deeply closeted. He is married to a white woman, but has a long history of having younger Asian female friends. I suspect part of it is he wants to create the illusion he's dating them.

He pinged the moment I met him.

I got cock blocked by an Asian woman whose husband was cruising me. BTW, I am an Asian male. Apparently, wife knew about husband's proclivities.

Their name is Mike Pence

Before I was out (in my 20's) I seemed to develop friendships with guys who I thought were straight but we eventually ended up having sex. Whether or not they identified themselves as bisexual, gay, etc. or not, they certainly enjoyed having sex with a man. My experience is with at least five (maybe more, I can't remember) different guys. The signs, now that I look back, they seemed to want to spend time with me. Maybe I gave off a gay vibe? In any case, the scenario was about the same with each of them. After we became friends and hanging out a lot, there was always a night where we were having a few drinks together and as it was getting late, the conversation turned to sex. Fast forward an hour or so and we had our dicks out and we got down to business. To sum it up, if a guy likes to hang out, just the two of you without wives or girlfriends,he could be closeted. Otherwise, you couldn't tell by the way they dressed, hobbies, sports, occupation, marital status, what they drank, or any other factor. None of them had an Asian wife or girlfriend.

Is it true that Asian women have better vaginal control?

Generally true, r20, but there's more to it than that, and it depends on what you mean by "closeted".

If he cruises you in the gym, showers next to you a few times (yes, we have open showers in Sweden), and then you see him leaving with a girl who's pretty clearly his girlfriend, either he's openly bi or she knows it or likely he's closeted at least to her.

If he's a friend or colleague who's very friendly, looks at you in a way you're used to seeing when people are attracted to you, seems a little jealous of your boyfriend, wants to talk about sexuality (just curious he says), he's curious about something.

If you have an acquaintance who has been seen kissing boys ("for fun"), flashing his ass in public, gets a half-hard on in the showers at the gym and turns to hide it, and insists "no homo" for this or that, and tells everyone he's straight, I don't buy it.

Asian/Latin/Black girlfriend/wife

much older wife

I always thought the Asian wife / closet thing was bullshit but I’ve seen it come true a couple times in real life. Anecdotes aren’t data of course, but there does seem to be something to it ..... IDk why.

Since this is DL where one can let all one’s racism hang out, these are my two guesses: I’ve heard (no idea if true) that Jewish guys have a somewhat higher incidence of gayness, and Jewish- and Asian-Americans seem to run in a lot of the same circles - big cities, Ivy Leagues, etc. So maybe just the convenience of circumstance.

Also, even more racistly, traditions like geisha suggest that at least some Asian cultures don’t expect monogamy from men. So maybe Asian-American women are less bothered by their man fooling around on the side.

the GF is in Europe

They eye fuck you

R24 Older wife. Tom Cruise's first wife, Mimi Rogers. Hugh Jackman and his older wife.

Responds to his wife when she texts her grocery list to him - while he's sucking your dick.

Wrong r23, black women, as a rule, don’t knowingly date or marry gay or bisexual men. There’s always an exception, but usually when they find out that their man likes other men, they are gone and gone for good.

Republican Member of Congress

The Onion always does it best; an oldy but goody.

Any married guys that work out for two hours in the evening. Hot or not, if they're at the gym 7pm or later, they are leaving their "better half" at home to spend time with the boys.

Assuming white men who marry asian women are likely gay is beyond stupidity. Simply stupid assumption

social conformist

general cowardice

fear of authority

dumb gf/wife but without any sex appeal

The Asian wife thing is true for some older closet cases. They chose foreign-born Asians not familiar with American culture. It's easy to get away with being gay with these women. Younger Asian women, as R10, are better educated and grow up with whites. The DL stereotype doesn't hold true for the group.

Someone posted this on an older thread about this very same topic:

"If you sneak up behind him, and shout 'CLANG CLANG CLANG,' and he immediately bursts out 'WENT THE TROLLEY,' then you know he's gay."

He braids his wife's hair.

He has a [italic]roommate[/italic] who worked in interior design.

R38 lmao

It's not true of EVERY guy but.....both Chris Burrous and the soft butch sous chef victim had Asian wives. I think some guys see Asian women as too passive and submissive to ask too many questions

R40 you don’t know asian women. You have no idea what you are talking about

[quote] To sum it up, if a guy likes to hang out, just the two of you without wives or girlfriends,he could be closeted.

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt here and assume that you mean in instances where both men actually have wives and/or girlfriends.

If not, you've pretty much described just about every close male hetero friendship.

Many of you seem to be disparaging Asian and Asian American women as possible romantic partners for men--as if the only men who would POSSIBLY be interested in them are either a) closeted gay men, or b) fetishists.

This is a pretty offensive belief.

Also old man send for Asian woman

We wouldn't mention it, r41 , R43., and it even wouldn't be a thing to be mentioned, were it not a truism as frequently encountered as one encounters blue in a sky.

Be offended as much as you like; there's a germ of truth in any stereotype. That's how stereotypes originate.

And this stereotype says that closeted Gay men date and marry Asian women. We've aaaaaaaaaaaaall seen it, over, and over, and over again.

DL says 99.9% of the world's male population is gay.

....

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They pull their knees up and present hole when with other naked men.

Protest all you want r43, it’s a harsh truth. My theory is because Asian women are built like teenaged boys.

I know this couple. What do we think? The guy married an Asian-American woman. He spent a great deal of time choosing and accessorizing her wedding dress. He also picked out their secondary wedding outfits in the traditional style of her heritage, and pranced around wearing that at the reception. He also choreographed their elaborate first dance. He was a virgin. She told someone she had asked him if he's gay, by any chance, and he had assured her he is not.

"you don’t know asian women. You have no idea what you are talking about:"

Read my post again, I was saying that straight men stereotype them.

- Men that excessively touch other men on the arm while chatting - Men that cross their legs when they sit down - Men that have stashes of Abercrombie and Fitch catalogues in their house - Men that use words like fabulous, gorgeous, outrageous or shortened versions like “fabbo” - Men that dress far too fashionably when playing sports

Is the quarterback for the Green Bay Packers

[quote] Be offended as much as you like

Okay!

When you thank your male business partner profusely and lovingly during your Tony Award acceptance speech much more emphatically than your stocky, 13 year older wife.

Allegedly-straight Hispanic American who sounds relatively straight when speaking English, but speaks Spanish like a Hialeah drag queen.

Why: 3-5 years of speech therapy to fix hith lithp in English, but not in thpanith.

It might not work for guys with families LITERALLY from Spain, but works BRILLIANTLY with Cuban-American guys in Miami (because Cuban Spanish doesn't have a built-in lisp the way "Spanish Spanish" doss, so if THEY "lithp", it's "for real")

I know some people don't like it and are "offended", but I have seen this numerous times and it is true. Does it mean all Asian women are submissive or lack gaydar? No. Does it mean all gay men in the closet choose Asian women to marry? Of course not. But I've personally seen it as have many prior posters numerous times and as someone upthread said, there is a germ of truth in most stereotypes.

[quote]Most closeted gay men think nobody who is straight knows..

You mean closeted men think only gay men will know because straight people have lousy gaydar?

[quote] I am the polar opposite of an "old queen" in everyway possible.

You are a newly-hatched female penguin?

Hand to my heart.

I worked for a woman once who told me her little girl was named "Joan" in honor of Barbra Streisand.

I said "I didn't know you were a fan." She said "I'm not, it was my husband."

I was speechless. As I got to know her better, of course, she eventually told me her husband turned out gay. I said "Weren't you kind of tipped off when he named your daughter after Barbra Streisand?" She said "No. Why would I be?"

!!!

This is kind of a weird specific nerd thing, but when I would hear guys talk about how hot they thought Alyson Hannigan was on Buffy, for some reason it made me think they were closet cases.

I worked at a talent agency in Los Angeles where one of the agents was very obviously gay. Turned out he would go on and on about his "fetish" or Asian women. One time, someone sent a tape of his work in hopes that we might represent him. This same guy looks at the tape, and in a very gay, lispy voice goes "He sounds like a hog smoker." There was no irony. He was honestly trying to sound like a homophobic guy.

Op what does playing with the wedding ring have to do with it? This is interesting since I know a guy who’s bi and closeted and married to an Asian and plays with his wedding ring. Very strange.

Is just me but there seems to be a lot of East Indian men that are closet gays? That goes for Hispanic men as well?

BTW, I have a cousin who was adopted( I pointed out that he is adopted because we don't have any males in our family that stunning) who is incredibly handsome. He married an Asian lady and they had a couple of kids but they eventually got a divorce. Apparently he would put her down and he haughtily believed he was above her.

How do so many DLers apparently live in a world where Chris Burrous is the rule but the exception is Ted Haggard? Or Larry Craig, Jim McGreevey, Michael Huffington, etc.?

Why are so many Israeli men closeted gays?

(R65) Because it's a sin, an "abomination" and not only in the Torah, it's the same with the Catholicism.

You can tell by the way their pants hug their hips.

R66 I mean why are so many Israeli men gay? Is it me, or do they seem very fluid?

Steam room and bathhouse whores are usually closet-cases...and tons of fun.

When I see a white, male married to a new Filipino wife, I know immediately he's a loser. He's way far right and couldn't find an attractive American woman to marry him, so he had to buy himself one from a catalogue. He's not gay. He's straight and a controlling, domestic abuser asshole.

I'm suspicious when:

- SO has a skinny, boy-like frame

- conservative; strong anti-gay obsession

- excessive amount of time hanging out in all-male settings (including strip clubs)

- excessive amount of time in church

- certain clothing/grooming (tight pants/waxed eyebrows/tan)

[quote]When I see a white, male married to a new Filipino wife, I know immediately he's a loser.

And he doesn’t mind a wife who can stink up the bathroom. Too much garlic, eggs and offal in their diets.

Is friends with Kelly Ripa

He's married to what looks like a closeted lesbian. They named their son "Butch." His pinging wife makes a lot of random comments about their great sex life. He's always a miserable asshole, unless he's around a hot young guy, then he's all smiles.

The “Kelly Ripa” sign is my new favourite one on the list! Regis hated her so we know where he stands!

"He's married to what looks like a closeted lesbian. They named their son "Butch." His pinging wife makes a lot of random comments about their great sex life. He's always a miserable asshole, unless he's around a hot young guy, then he's all smiles."

Replace "Butch" with "Jaden" and you have the Pinkett-Smiths

Parents are Catholic business owners.

Even though they do.

Wrestling coach who is "too busy working with his wrestlers" to date women

R46 pretty much nailed it.

No one obsesses about what traits make a guy seem "gay" like DLers do.

What's awesome is you all frequently contradict each other.

NFL scout or college football coach who hasn't gotten married yet because he's "married to football"

[quote] NFL scout or college football coach who hasn't gotten married yet because he's "married to football"

Because there are just hundreds of guys who meet that description.

R66, Only the ultra-Orthodox and Chassidic sectors of Judiasm still believe that fact. Much of it still relates to the focus on having lots of children, so that the religion does not die out.

Modern Orthodox in contrast adheres to the viewpoint that one's sexuality is between that individual and God. Openly gay & bi men are rabbis and cantors in Conservative, Reformed, and Reconstructionist temples and synagogues.

R66, Why don't you point out the plethora of laws and rules in the Old Testament that are completely ignored in the modern world, and even illegal in the US? Like a man is required to marry his dead brother's widow, even if he is already married?

He's married to Sarah Huckabeast Sanders.

Dated or married Star Jones

Star seemed pretty gay too, to be fair. Maybe it was a mutual bearding situation.

Two white guys I dated that had issues with being gay (they also had goals to be movie stars) went on to marry asian women. They had beautiful white model girls after them all the time and never considered it. I think, like someone said upthread, it's because Asian women are passive with a white man. They are grateful to move up the social ladder and won't risk losing him. They won't ask questions. Just happy to be there. I am 37. Not to mention the other examples I have seen. It's a thing.

Asian women tolerate a gay husband, more than a white woman would. Asian tolerate this as they use their husband's closet status as leverage to gain control in the relationship and get what they want. Whilst white women also aim for this control, they aren't willing to accept or can't get over the gay infidelity of a husband.

Ask GoFundMai for further details.

1. A Madonna, Celine, Cher or Barbra’s hardcore fan 2. He’s homophobic or uncomfortable around other gay men 3. He checks out men instead of women 4. His social life is very private 5. His best male friend is too close to him

6. He fucks men

Hottie actor Anson Mount from Hell On Wheels and the new Star Trek series is newly married to an Asian woman and he never pinged to me.

Fugly girlfriend.

A Days Inn Rewards Card..........

Foreign or ethnically different wife.

[quote]Only the ultra-Orthodox and Chassidic sectors of Judiasm still believe that fact. Much of it still relates to the focus on having lots of children, so that the religion does not die out.

Yes, and American Judaism is pretty liberal on the whole. Eg. Polling shows that American Jews are the most pro-gay religious group in the U.S.

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The queeniest "straight guy" I know, Jewish married to Asian. They shop.yogether and she's a status conscious cunt. Louis Vuitton, label everything. They seem more like girlfriends, but they have 2 kids.

Do gay men woo other gay men like straight guys do with women? Are gay tops very persistent and try to woo gay bottoms? Do gay tops buy flowers and candy by wooing gay bottoms? Do gay tops protect their gay bottom partners like a straight guy does with his wife or girlfriend? I mean, if some other gay man hits on your gay partner, do you sock the guy in the face? Or get pissed off and warn the guy he better stay away from your husband or boyfriend who is the bottom in the relationship? Do gay tops like virgin gay bottoms? Also, do gay tops romance gay bottoms? Just curious and just asking.

R98, I bet you are exhausting in real life.

When a man, who "is said" he is gay, is married to a woman (white American and not Asian) and they have children, but the important thing to me is the following : they have "employed" a third woman to carry their children (a surrogate mother). Then, do you think this man is a "closeted case" or it's just because his wife have fertility problems ?

Do "Experienced"Gay Men can answer me ? Because I can't make the difference between a straight couple and a "lavender" couple, both can have children through surrogacy, so......

I think just real gay men can enlighten me.

Does Asian include Indian?

[quote]Do gay men woo other gay men like straight guys do with women? Are gay tops very persistent and try to woo gay bottoms?

Yup.

[quote]Do gay tops buy flowers and candy by wooing gay bottoms?

No we spend more money than that. And we buy for the person not for the sex. So it shows that we actually know something about them and don't rely on some sexist bullshit when we need to buy a gift. We're also not as cheap as fuck like straight people. Flowers are just air freshener. If you think that they're a special gift, you don't realize that the person who wants to fuck you doesn't know shit about you so they're giving you the most generic gift ever. Dumb.

[quote]Do gay tops protect their gay bottom partners like a straight guy does with his wife or girlfriend? if some other gay man hits on your gay partner, do you sock the guy in the face? Or get pissed off and warn the guy he better stay away from your husband or boyfriend who is the bottom in the relationship?

Yup, we do actually care for our partners. Only a fucking cokehead--even with straight guys--or some dickless / fucked up idiot would start a fight over that shit.... or super wanna-bro lesbians.

[quote]Do gay tops like virgin gay bottoms?

Like his asshole is so tight it's like he's never taken a shit? No complaints. It's just annoying when they don't know how to relax so you can't even get it in there in the first place.

[quote]Also, do gay tops romance gay bottoms

Yes.

"No we spend more money than that. And we buy for the person not for the sex. So it shows that we actually know something about them and don't rely on some sexist bullshit when we need to buy a gift."

No, it's the opposite - gay men don't need to bribe other men for sex. I don't need to spend $$$ on guys to get them to have sex with me. Only Geffen types who want young guys do that.

R103 makes a good point.

This whole Asian woman thing is ridiculous. Women of all races marry closeted gay men all the time. I don't understand the focus on Asian women.

My mother points out these various male super stud celebrities who marry homely or very plain looking women always confuses her. On example is Clint Eastwood. She said however in all fairness, I believe some men want a woman that has a great personality ,and they are not shallow solely focused on what a woman looks like. I once watched an interview some moons ago and this millionaire was talking about dating and he said he dated gorgeous models and they were so perfect. However, the man said he as was lonely being dating these women because they were so self center, so narcissistic, and complete scatter brains. He said I couldn't connect with them ,and enjoy being with them intellectually and I wasn't having fun. The guy wound up marrying a lady who was not a model ,and she wasn't gorgeous at all. The guy worshipped his wife and he acted like she was a goddess.

There is that reality show on TLC I watch now and then which the brides compete who has the best wedding ,and the wining bride wins a honeymoon some where. You would be surprise by the guys women marry and the women men marry. The spouse may be fat while the other is skinny, one is older and the other is younger, etc. I guess there are cases when people are just in love and there is no hidden reason for their union.

A lot of men age better than their wives, particularly after having kids. Men generally age better.

"He's a 6 or higher? He must be at least bisexual!"

--The Datalounge.