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Marie Kondo's Tidying Up

Anyone watching? Thoughts?

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by Anonymousreply 275March 18, 2019 2:57 PM

She's a hugely polarizing figure. Half of my friends are mocking her endlessly on FB, but the other half seem to believe she's The Second Coming. Some of them are even trying to proselytize on her behalf!

by Anonymousreply 1January 15, 2019 7:37 PM

I am now holding my dick in my hand, and feeling intense joy, so I think I'll keep it.

by Anonymousreply 2January 15, 2019 7:37 PM

I just watched the trailer and I am definitely will be watching it as soon as I have some time. I have been seriously renovating every aspect of my life the last few years. I was inspired watching the trailer and have already started getting rid of stuff to take to Goodwill. Stuff that does not bring me the spark of joy to paraphrase Marie.

by Anonymousreply 3January 15, 2019 7:38 PM

I tried watching the first episode but found it predictable and boring, and I skipped through some of it. Thought the empty nest couple might be more interesting (in a vein like Hoarders) because they had accumulated so much shit over the years; but nope, dull as dishwater again. I find the advice mediocre at best; but hey, bully for those to whom it resonates.

by Anonymousreply 4January 15, 2019 7:48 PM

KEEP ONLY 30 BOOKS?! THE WOMAN IS A MONSTER!!

by Anonymousreply 5January 15, 2019 7:52 PM

^ Hello Yashar

by Anonymousreply 6January 15, 2019 7:53 PM

Love Marie Kondo!

I spent last weekend folding my clothes the way she suggests. It's so much better this way! I can open a drawer, see all the items inside, and immediately choose the one I want.

I love an organized home.

by Anonymousreply 7January 15, 2019 8:07 PM

She’s Japanese, and she has an annoying cutesy manner, but she has a point. People keep too much shit they don’t need anymore because Great-Aunt Hilda gave it to them. Then they just get used to having it around and feel like they can’t get rid of it.

The very idea that you don’t “have” to keep things because somebody’s feelings will be hurt, or it was useful once, when you have grown past that stage in your life, is liberating for some people.

A lot of people are emotionally attached to objects, not for their usefulness or beauty, but because they feel obligation. All those possessions weigh us down. Anything that helps people move on is good. Different methods speak to what different people can relate to.

by Anonymousreply 8January 15, 2019 8:09 PM

Apart from her clothing folding technique, and her endless “spark joy” evaluation of whether to keep something or throw it away, what practical techniques does she recommend? I turned it off when she said to hold each item to be discarded and literally talk to it, thanking it for your time together.

What the fuck?

by Anonymousreply 9January 15, 2019 8:13 PM

I'm with R4 and R9.

These people don't need "joy". Give me Ilsa, the strict German organiser who will insist on doing things the CORRECT way, the GERMAN WAY!

by Anonymousreply 10January 15, 2019 8:18 PM

lol r10

by Anonymousreply 11January 15, 2019 8:18 PM

R9, a lot of people have hoarding tendencies and can’t get rid of things because they get emotionally attached. Dad’s old books, a childhood toy, a gift from a long dead friend, and so forth.

She is providing a technique so those people can emotionally close the door on an item without feeling guilty for “abandoning” it. A lot of hoarders think of items as having feelings or feeling sad because they’re being discarded. Saying “thank you” is a way for those people to find emotional closure and accept getting rid of it.

I have a couple of hoarders in my family. Other family members have overreacted to that and have very austere, minimalist surroundings. I’m not a minimalist, but I’m clearing out a storage space and decluttering myself now. It’s hard to let go of family heirlooms, but I’m doing it.

by Anonymousreply 12January 15, 2019 8:19 PM

[quote]What the fuck?

Shintoism

Keeping fewer than thirty books makes sense when decluttering Japanese apartments, but it doesn't really translate to American homes.

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by Anonymousreply 13January 15, 2019 8:22 PM

The nasal-voiced "little boy" WeHo gays are the stars of "From Students to Improvements."

Because there has to be a "gay episode").

by Anonymousreply 14January 15, 2019 8:26 PM

In her early Japanese press, she talks about going into a catatonic state as a young teenager and claims that her consciousness was erased and replaced. When she came back, it was with a calling to spark joy by simplifying people's lives. She then went on to become a Shinto miko for a few years.

This has all been revised in her American marketing of course. She collapsed from exhaustion brought on by studying too hard and she worked part-time in a shrine's gift shop.

by Anonymousreply 15January 15, 2019 8:38 PM

I knew she seemed a little ... off, r15. Even for a Japanese.

by Anonymousreply 16January 15, 2019 8:44 PM

I found her book useful--just ignored the part about the books because that's not happening, but the sequence she suggests of how to get rid of things is useful. The touchy-feely stuff helps for those of us who get emotionally attached/guilty about stuff. Don't know that it would work with a full-on hoarder, but for those of us who tend to hold on to stuff, it helps.

No desire to actually watch her in action, though--a little cutesy/daffy goes a longggg way. Way too long.

by Anonymousreply 17January 15, 2019 8:50 PM

If you want organizing tips, you're much better off reading her book.

I bailed after the first episode of the show. Couldn't deal with the lazy frau who was still breastfeeding a two-year-old capable of running around the house and asking for 'boobies' in her piping little voice. ICK.

But the worst part was, as the posters said above, the show was boring. Makeover shows have to be paced in a very specific way in order to work. HGTV has it down to a science, but clearly Netflix is still learning.

by Anonymousreply 18January 15, 2019 9:27 PM

I found episode one boring and the family annoying. A lot of the interesting stuff happened off camera. And the enthusiastic greetings when she showed up at the door were nauseating. Sorry to say, she does not have a great personality for television, and I found the use of the interpreter stilted and laborious. I do like the core message though, and this morning, my husband and I did thank our house for taking good care of us and being our shelter in winter. That started our day off on a positive note.

by Anonymousreply 19January 15, 2019 9:33 PM

Well, R3, if everyone follows her advice and takes their things to Goodwill that's really going to leave Goodwill up the spout.

by Anonymousreply 20January 15, 2019 9:34 PM

Another fan of her book! She really helped me to Let It Go. In a way no other organizing method was able to.

by Anonymousreply 21January 15, 2019 9:53 PM

Making Marie Kondo jokes on Twitter is literal racist violence!

by Anonymousreply 22January 15, 2019 10:35 PM

I like the book, but have no use for the TV show. It filled with too much reality pablum that’s in every other reality show.

I Think we keep some things because throwing them out would be admitting buying it was a mistake or a careless waste of money. . By thanking it, you get to acknowledge that at some time it had a purpose, you are not wasteful or careless, but it no longer has a purpose in your life.

by Anonymousreply 23January 16, 2019 12:29 AM

The goofy persona aside, I think Kondo definitely deserves some respect for recognizing the emotional tie people have with their stuff, and dealing with that tie as a central element of de-cluttering. That, and emphasizing that clutter causes a kind of stress. De-cluttering is a big mental leap for a lot of people.

by Anonymousreply 24January 16, 2019 11:28 AM

Her technique is a bit out there, but I hope the trend she has begun continues to expands. People hold on to too much stuff to the point that they have to put it in storage. Storage places used to only be built on the outer margins of a city or town. Now they're building them everywhere and they are an eyesore. People pay monthly fee to store things that most will never use again. In my neighborhood. many folks have to park in their driveway because they have their garage crammed to the rafters with stuff. Stuff that they will never use again! Kondo may be a bit strange, but Americans' habit of holding on to useless things is nuts.

by Anonymousreply 25January 16, 2019 12:08 PM

[quote]I knew she seemed a little ... off, [R15]. Even for a Japanese.

The fuck? Are you an 80-year-old racist or something?

by Anonymousreply 26January 16, 2019 12:37 PM

r26

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by Anonymousreply 27January 16, 2019 12:44 PM

The show is dull as dishwater, and I found the families too basic to relate to. We can all imagine how stressful it is for a family who just had kids, or a family who had to downsize; we don't need to see a whole show about that.

The first couple was interesting because you could tell the wife had been a fun, vibrant woman when she got married, and the guy clearly wanted to marry a hot lady with tattoos, but as soon as they were married he was all "bitch, do the dishes, damn." I've seen people on Twitter say she's spoiled because she hates doing dishes. It didn't even occur to me -- I hate doing dishes, and no one has ever called me "lazy" because of it. In fact, I get a lot of "yeah, me too" if it comes up in conversation. But with a woman, it's seen as a character flaw.

by Anonymousreply 28January 16, 2019 12:44 PM

Stultifyingly boring. I usually like crap organizing and decorating and home improvement shoes but this was beyond boring.

by Anonymousreply 29January 16, 2019 1:08 PM

I love doing dishes, always have, even as a tot. Just like cleaning things. When I was in the Army in '64 and pulled KP, I always volunteered for "pots and pans" duty and I did a helluva job on those things. Other guys loved being assigned with me because they knew I would keep them out of those deep, back sinks for the day.

Anyway, nothing cleaned out my lifestyle like moving from South NJ back to NE Pa. I found out that I wasn't the hoarder that I thought I was for a long time. I was getting rid of stuff for days and I never told them how much I loved them.

by Anonymousreply 30January 16, 2019 1:43 PM

I love coming on oriental whores

by Anonymousreply 31January 16, 2019 1:44 PM

The husband in the first episode was really brau-ish, but the wife was a stay-at-home mom with just two kids. How can she still not have time to do the dishes and laundry? Especially when the income-earning partner is working 50-60 hour weeks as the husband said he was, I think it's only fair that the domestic partner, well, DOMESTICATE.

by Anonymousreply 32January 16, 2019 1:45 PM

I found that the process of "thanking" items I was getting rid of actually worked as a reminder to myself WHY I was getting rid of these things.

There was no way I was going to put ALL my clothes in one pile, including those that needed to get washed with the idea that I'd just wash everything once I was done sorting -- that seemed like extra work. Still, I did smaller piles two or three times and really pared stuff down. I have a small pile of new clothes I'll sell on eBay as a lot, another small pile to donate, and I threw away the rest. Next up are DVDs and Blu-rays, then kitchen items.

by Anonymousreply 33January 16, 2019 1:48 PM

She was doing all those things, R32. If I recall, she didn't do the dishes "often enough" and also had clean clothes that were simply not put away.

And I don't think any childless men on DL should be saying "you only have two kids, stop being such a lazy bitch." You probably haven't done more than spend a couple house with your nephews twice a year. I worked at a Head Start for a year, and trust me, there's no such thing as "only" two kids. Kids are a damn handful.

by Anonymousreply 34January 16, 2019 1:50 PM

[quote]I turned it off when she said to hold each item to be discarded and literally talk to it, thanking it for your time together.

[quote]What the fuck?

I don't know much about Japanese religious practices, but I know for instance that the Hasidic Jews believe that there are spirits locked in everything, in that chair over there, in the table. So it could be that the Japanese feel the same way about objects. That belief actually leads to some interesting and beneficial practices.

That said, I don't even believe there are spirits in people, so there's no way I'm prepared to believe there's a spirit in my notebook.

by Anonymousreply 35January 16, 2019 1:50 PM

I'm a woman, R34.

My mother raised two kids and worked full time. Our house was never a mess and she never tried to convince my father to hire someone to do the laundry.

I don't have kids, but many of my friends do, and they also handle husbands, kids, and jobs without resorting to outsourcing the laundry. A woman whose only job is handling a normal 3/2 home and two kids of ages 2 and 4 should be able to do so as well, unless she has serious health problems.

by Anonymousreply 36January 16, 2019 1:57 PM

[quote]And I don't think any childless men on DL should be saying "you only have two kids, stop being such a lazy bitch."

Go away.

by Anonymousreply 37January 16, 2019 1:59 PM

Kondo Marie’s whole cleaning philosophy is based off of Shintoism, which is a form of animism. That’s why she greets the client’s house and says thank you to clothes.

by Anonymousreply 38January 16, 2019 2:04 PM

"The commandment to think carefully about what you own isn’t so radical, after all. “Sparking joy” still relies on material goods to form the basis of an identity: Each object must feel like it is an ineffable part of you, as if your old T-shirts emitted a Benjaminian aura. It’s not about taking up meditation or therapy; Kondo is advocating for something as close to perfect consumption as possible. The idea that things don’t matter is anathema to KonMari."

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by Anonymousreply 39January 16, 2019 2:07 PM

Sorry to hear you're a woman, R36, but you're still proving my point: you don't have kids. Watching your mother [italic] while you were a kid [/italic] manage a household decades ago doesn't mean you have any experience with what it takes to run a household now.

The wife worked, by the way. She didn't like doing laundry, and it's 2019, so if a woman doesn't like doing laundry, then why can't compromises be made so she doesn't have to?

The husband wanted to do laundry "together as a family," which is not only a weird request but nearly impossible if he works 60 hour weeks like he claims, and was resentful when his wife wanted help because she shouldn't need help, which contradicts his "let's do this as a family" thing. Then the repeated refrain about how he was turned on by her doing chores? Yuck. The world of a heterosexual etc. etc.

There was obviously a control issue there more than actual concern about laundry.

by Anonymousreply 40January 16, 2019 2:11 PM

As I said, I also watch MY OWN FRIENDS WITH KIDS regularly juggle way more than that woman on the show does, and they don't whine about being overwhelmed. I may not have pushed any humans out of my vagina, but I also work 80 hours a week and completely look after my OWN household, so I know a little something about adulting.

But I know I'm not going to convince you of my viewpoint, and you'll never convince me of yours. So, never mind.

by Anonymousreply 41January 16, 2019 2:21 PM

LOL right, "never mind" after a whole indignant, scoldy paragraph with bits in ALL CAPS to emphasize your self-righteousness.

by Anonymousreply 42January 16, 2019 2:25 PM

Oh my God you have no value because you all capped something! -- r42

by Anonymousreply 43January 16, 2019 2:29 PM

I recently moved and had to downsize. I actually miss my stuff. Having some friends help me sort and pack and get rid of things helped though. I felt like I could share stories about some of them before giving them up. I hope they’ll make someone else happy.

by Anonymousreply 44January 16, 2019 2:38 PM

When I was in my early 20s, I decided I owned too many books and did a major cull of my personal library.

I'm 35 now, and still regret it, so I tend not to get rid of any books without very serious consideration.

My library is more than the sum of its parts.

by Anonymousreply 45January 16, 2019 2:46 PM

[quote]I know for instance that the Hasidic Jews believe that there are spirits locked in everything, in that chair over there, in the table. So it could be that the Japanese feel the same way about objects.

...what?

by Anonymousreply 46January 16, 2019 3:24 PM

Anthropomorphizing objects seems stupid to some people. The basic principle is that an object has to be beautiful, useful or both. Otherwise, get rid of it.

I really don't understand collecting tons of books. I know a lot of people do it. IMO, there's something pretentious about it. Just my opinion. I know that not all book-lovers are pretentious.

by Anonymousreply 47January 16, 2019 3:26 PM

She totally creeps me out. And I like all my stuff. So, whatever, Asian chick. You are annoying and creepy. Please go away.

by Anonymousreply 48January 16, 2019 3:49 PM

[quote]I really don't understand collecting tons of books.

I guess some people get it, and some don't.

by Anonymousreply 49January 16, 2019 3:53 PM

The show is mostly soothing, peppered with flashes of surprise or annoyance at some of the clutter junkies, like the dude with 150 pairs of sneakers. WTF bro? And the occasional flash of insight into the tensions in a marriage, like we saw between the stay at home mom and the workaholic dad. (R40 sounds like she is also full of excuses. "Life is just so complicated nowadays!' Balderdash. My home is a mess, but I know it's not because my pampered first world life is just too hard.)

I read Kondo's book a few years ago and I'm not sure about her decluttering method (I haven't tried it) but I think her founding principles are very sound: be thoughtful about your possessions, and be grateful for what you have.

by Anonymousreply 50January 16, 2019 4:03 PM

R49, thanks for being civilized about the topic. A good friend of mine collects books and I don't consider him to be pretentious.

by Anonymousreply 51January 16, 2019 4:20 PM

[Quote]Kondo Marie’s whole cleaning philosophy is based off of Shintoism, which is a form of animism. That’s why she greets the client’s house and says thank you to clothes.

Have the Christian fundies called for a boycott of Netflix yet?

by Anonymousreply 52January 16, 2019 4:20 PM

After watching the whole season, I was left feeling that the obsession with objects was something people who were poor tend to do.

Hanging on to every object to remind themselves about being poor.

by Anonymousreply 53January 16, 2019 4:53 PM

Huh r53?

by Anonymousreply 54January 16, 2019 5:02 PM

R40/R42, I put that bit in all caps to emphasize what I had said in my previous post, which you clearly missed when you said my opinions were based only on watching my mother as I grew up. But there's no point arguing with someone who has such poor reading comprehension skills. So again, never mind.

by Anonymousreply 55January 16, 2019 5:14 PM

You might be right R53. I've met people all across society, and while the rich have big houses, they don't have a lot of stuff. The most cluttered places I've been to were middle-class who for some reason at some point in their lives either were poor, or their parents were, or lost most of their possessions (decolonization).

by Anonymousreply 56January 16, 2019 5:19 PM

My grandmother and aunt were poor as church mice, but their homes were stuffed full with thrift-store finds, many of them with the tags still on. When each of them died, relatives had to sort through all the crap, and back it went to the thrift shops. The circle of life I guess, but rather sad.

by Anonymousreply 57January 16, 2019 5:22 PM

[quote] The husband in the first episode was really brau-ish, but the wife was a stay-at-home mom with just two kids. How can she still not have time to do the dishes and laundry?

You don't have kids do you?

It's a mix of being constantly busy with kids and her not naturally loving organization that lead to the house looking cluttered

by Anonymousreply 58January 16, 2019 5:22 PM

I have too much stuff.

by Anonymousreply 59January 16, 2019 5:22 PM

She's virtually the same size as her (then) six-month-old baby.

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by Anonymousreply 60January 16, 2019 5:23 PM

Maybe if the frau in episode 1 weaned the little one, who is old enough to ask for 'boobies,' she'd have more time.

by Anonymousreply 61January 16, 2019 5:24 PM

R60 that’s a huge baby my lord.

by Anonymousreply 62January 16, 2019 5:24 PM

I thought the guy in the first episode looked like a sexy daddy. He had obviously aged and gained weight since the wedding but it looks hotter now than in the wedding picture.

but then he seems like an asshole to his wife.

by Anonymousreply 63January 16, 2019 5:24 PM

Kondo is 4'8. Any baby would look big next to her: The toddlers in episode 1 were like half as big as she was.

by Anonymousreply 64January 16, 2019 5:25 PM

No love for the gay couple? I thought they were adorable. I liked the lesbian couple too.

by Anonymousreply 65January 16, 2019 5:25 PM

My partner was a constantly buying shit, seemingly to bring some happiness. I would complain about it and make him throw out obsolete electronics and stuff.

It wasn't until we started house hunting that he realized that what makes for beautiful home is the lack of alot of stuff.

He changed overnight. We gave away boxes and boxes of books, clothes, electronics that he didn't use. It felt so good for me!

by Anonymousreply 66January 16, 2019 5:27 PM

I love the cloud. I could get rid of CDs, books, and papers because I can store so much online now.

by Anonymousreply 67January 16, 2019 5:28 PM

I've lived in NYC for twenty years and moved often. I had curated my belongings to the most minimal things necessary so the next move would be easy. Although I've lived in my current apartment for 4 years and will likely stay here long term, it's always in the back of my mind that moving will be a bitch if I have too much stuff.

by Anonymousreply 68January 16, 2019 5:29 PM

I agree that digital media is a godsend. I'd be drowning in books and DVDs if it weren't for my kindle and my Netflix/Amazon prime accounts.

by Anonymousreply 69January 16, 2019 5:31 PM

R66, you're lucky. Usually, people don't ever change in that respect (collecting too many things).

by Anonymousreply 70January 16, 2019 8:29 PM

I read her book a few years ago, and got rid of a lot of my books. I really don't miss them, but I see some of my first-edition gay fiction listed for $100+ on Amazon now. I have no idea if someone is paying that much for an original hardcover of [italic]Dancer from the Dance[/italic] or [italic]Faggots[/italic], but I wish I hadn't been so hasty.

by Anonymousreply 71January 16, 2019 8:50 PM

Find her unappealing in person. She dresses like a child, giggles incessantly, and doesn't speak English. How much money has she earned from the sale of her English language books? Pick up a Rosetta Stone for English, doll, and give it a spin.

In the first episode she's shown walking into the couple's house, it's raining, and her translator is holding an umbrella over her head. Such entitlement.

by Anonymousreply 72January 16, 2019 8:55 PM

[quote]She dresses like a child, giggles incessantly, and doesn't speak English.

You have just described 90% of women in Japan under 40.

by Anonymousreply 73January 16, 2019 8:57 PM

Her cookie cutter concept simply doesn't work for all. Not everyone needs their apartments and homes to look like sparse hospital rooms.

People are individuals. This concept seems completely lost on her. She is substituting one way of life for another, that shows a lack if individualism. Creative artistic people actually thrive on chaos. Something this woman clearly doesn't comprehend.

Lots of people have hobbies, they collect things, deal with it. There's a huge difference between collectors and hoarders. Of course, get rid of old clothes, broken electronic items and other stuff you have no use for, but don't throw out that brand new set of paint brushes and items which you will eventually need.

This woman's concept is to turn everyone into some kind of robot who lives in an empty box. I find her creepy to the max.

Her concept might work for NYC transplants living in shoebox size studios in the city, but not for most people.

by Anonymousreply 74January 16, 2019 9:17 PM

No one is being forced to follow her method. If you like living with clutter and lots of objects, go ahead.

I loved when she marveled at how big American kitchens are compared to Japan. The family though it was so small!

It is possible to live a fulfilling life without so much stuff but American consumerism is so ingrained we think it’s inconceivable.

by Anonymousreply 75January 16, 2019 9:34 PM

None of the homes looked like hospital rooms after she left. I liked that she wasn’t judgemental and worked with each family to clean up in a way that was comfortable for them.

I hoped that Japanese-American would get rid of everything, that place was so tacky! But they were happy and that’s all that mattered. It was also interesting to see how fat the Japanese Americans were compared to Marie.

by Anonymousreply 76January 16, 2019 9:39 PM

Judging by the first few episodes, I doubt this show will be picked up for another season.

by Anonymousreply 77January 16, 2019 9:44 PM

I can't stop thinking she wears Hello Kitty underwear...

by Anonymousreply 78January 16, 2019 9:52 PM

[quote]I can't stop thinking she wears Hello Kitty underwear...

She might indeed wear Hello Kitty underwear. Yet I can guarantee she doesn't have a Hello Kitty collection! She probably threw everything away!

btw, the original Hello Kitty stuff sold in the US during the 1970s, the items made in Japan not China, are is now worth a pretty penny, just sayin....

by Anonymousreply 79January 16, 2019 9:58 PM

[quote] Pick up a Rosetta Stone for English, doll, and give it a spin.

Too much clutter! I'd just have to throw it out!

by Anonymousreply 80January 16, 2019 10:00 PM

"Rosetta STONES? They too heavy, take up too much SPACE!"

by Anonymousreply 81January 16, 2019 10:03 PM

Nobody thinks things have "feelings" and can get "sad." What people DO, however, is have specific memories of people, places, and experiences provoked by those things.

by Anonymousreply 82January 16, 2019 10:05 PM

I posted upthread about my large library. Interestingly, a large portion of my books are language books -- I know or am learning German, Italian, Latin, and Chinese. So I have dictionaries and grammar books on all of those languages.

For reading and writing, I find paper dictionaries and books much more useful than online resources.

by Anonymousreply 83January 16, 2019 10:05 PM

r47, Some people have a life of the mind, and some people don't.

by Anonymousreply 84January 16, 2019 10:14 PM

her name doesn't sound good at all to spanish ears.it is actually quite homophobic and trashy

by Anonymousreply 85January 16, 2019 10:33 PM

[quote]She is substituting one way of life for another, that shows a lack if individualism.

The nail that sticks up get hammered down!

But seriously...she is invited into homes by people who feel they need help. And they seem to think they got value from the experience.

by Anonymousreply 86January 16, 2019 10:36 PM

r84 gets it

by Anonymousreply 87January 16, 2019 11:43 PM

If you thank items that you remove or throw away can you berate a few of them too? Only seems fair.

by Anonymousreply 88January 16, 2019 11:53 PM

I lived in a house in OKC. Once I had to walk down the alleyway behind the houses for some reason, so I could see the back yards and patios of all these nice newer homes, less than 10 years old. And our HOA had a rule that your cars had to be parked in your garage, not in the driveway or the street. People couldn't use their garages as junk heaps.

So they used their back patios as junk heaps. About a third of the patios had massive piles of boxes and stuff. A few even had commercial-style clothing racks filled with clothes. OK's climate isn't conducive to storing shit outside, so I figured all their patio treasures would be ruined in a year or two.

by Anonymousreply 89January 16, 2019 11:57 PM

I read her Japanese Wikipedia page. There's no mention of the miko story. It does say that from preschool onward, she was obsessed with 'housewife magazines.' Uh-huh.

Newsweek says:

[quote] as a child she’d search homemaking magazines for new ways to organize, practicing her tidying techniques at a nearby Shinto shrine where she volunteered.

There's a big difference between 'volunteering at a Shinto shrine,' something which has no religious connotation or obligation, and serving as a miko for x number of years. If someone has a link for the miko story, I'm curious.

Her Japanese name "Marie" could mean she has Christian connections or a Christian background. Especially since she also went to a Christian university. Even if she's not, nothing in her story suggests that she's from a hardcore right-wing conservative or old family-- those are whose daughters would become miko.

In conclusion, she sounds like someone with a fabricated backstory specific to the American audience and a different one for the Japanese. Americans are so desperate to connect things to religion. Why she's being forced on people, God only knows.

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by Anonymousreply 90January 17, 2019 12:11 AM

Bitch, please!

I did this shit years ago!

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by Anonymousreply 91January 17, 2019 12:23 AM

I could be wrong but I think her wardrobe may be a big UNIQLO ad campaign.

My thoughts are mixed. I got her book a few years ago but didn’t get far with it because virtually my entire wardrobe is about practicality and very few items in it spark joy.

The show is difficult to watch in part because she doesn’t speak English so I can’t have it on in the background while I’m tidying my own things: I have to watch without distractions to be sure I read all the subtitles etc, and the show can feel boring. I hope if they do a second season she travels to a different part of the country because I felt like there was a bland homogeny to all the LA families.

Personally, my own biggest clutter hurdles are papers, and that area of tidying up is mostly ignored or skipped on the show. I also really struggle with keeping too many tabs open on my phone and computer and would love to see examples of how to tidy those types of things up. I guess papers and internet tabs don’t make for compelling video footage.

by Anonymousreply 92January 17, 2019 12:54 AM

R90 — When she had just become popular there was long interview/article in a women's magazine (Suteki na Okusan, not long before Fukushima) that I read on a plane. Being a conservative stuffy old thing, they made a huge deal of her being a legit miko, not just an after-school email-answering shrine attendant like 95% of them, and how her entire method was based on her deep belief in kami. I think they may have even gone as far as to call her a priestess trainee, but I'm not certain about that. I don't think they ever mentioned her going to a Christian school in that article.

Another time, I saw her on a tv show and she was doing a tour of her favorite places and one of them was her former shrine. They also drove past TWCU in that interview. But, again, it sounded like it went a lot deeper than selling good-luck charms and pointing people to the restrooms.

Who knows? Like everyone else, she'll be marketed in the way that most appeals to her audience at any given time and the story will probably change a dozen times more before she's done.

I just found this in English...

[quote]When you explore the philosophy behind her thinking, you begin to find a resemblance to many of the tenets of Shinto, a Japanese religion whose origins date back many centuries.

[quote]Kondo was a "miko", a Shinto shrine attendant, for five years and her method reflects the tradition's guiding principle of respecting the life-force in all things - even in 'inanimate' objects.

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by Anonymousreply 93January 17, 2019 1:23 AM

Her organizing style doesn't really work for me, but I have my own methods and keep things organized. I don't like knick-knacks and I go through my closet multiple times a year for donations, so I'm not really the target audience.

I want my parents to watch this show, though. The amount of stuff they've got packed into their house that they never use is insane. A lot of it is stuff they've collected or inherited, so her methods for the emotional attachment to objects might help. Otherwise, they'll hold onto it all until the day they have to downsize to assisted living and be forced to make snap decisions under duress.

by Anonymousreply 94January 17, 2019 1:37 AM

I love museums, so the idea that things that are no longer used should be discarded is a non-starter.

by Anonymousreply 95January 17, 2019 1:47 AM

If someone wants more realistic decluttering advice, I like Clutterbug on YouTube. She has a system that categorized what type of organizing style you prefer, and then has videos with tips for that specific style. She's frau-y and Canadian and I ignore everything about kids, but even with the silly bug names, it's really helped me.

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by Anonymousreply 96January 17, 2019 1:56 AM

I think she's tremendous!

by Anonymousreply 97January 17, 2019 2:06 AM

Incredibly boring show.

by Anonymousreply 98January 17, 2019 2:12 AM

Are there any articles in English where she mentions going into a catatonic state and coming back with a "spiritual calling," R15?

by Anonymousreply 99January 17, 2019 2:46 AM

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

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by Anonymousreply 100January 17, 2019 3:52 AM

Thanks r96, I’ll check that out. The Kondo method and the Getting Things Done method only get me so far. Hopefully CBug has a method that suits me better.

by Anonymousreply 101January 17, 2019 3:55 AM

On the abuse of socks...

[quote]The socks and stockings stored in your drawer are essentially on holiday. They take a brutal beating in their daily work, trapped between your foot and your shoe, enduring pressure and friction to protect your precious feet. The time they spend in your drawer is their only chance to rest. But if they are folded over, balled up, or tied, they are always in a state of tension, their fabric stretched and their elastic pulled. They roll about and bump into each other every time the drawer is opened and closed. Any socks and stockings unfortunate enough to get pushed to the back of the drawer are often forgotten for so long that their elastic stretches beyond recovery. When the owner finally discovers them and puts them on, it will be too late and they will be relegated to the garbage. What treatment could be worse than this?

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by Anonymousreply 102January 17, 2019 4:04 AM

While I get some of the criticisms people are throwing out, understand that when you have someone in your life who clings to every last fucking thing because of their own personal emptiness and issues, anything that helps them clean up their lives is a godsend. A friend of mine has entire rooms in her large home stuffed with crap heirlooms and curios and will not let a one of them go because each has a dramatic family story attached. Everyone in her life is trying to subtly get her into this Kondo stuff as she’s literally poisoning her home to keep mouldy shit. Kondo-ing is not going to solve the void capitalism leaves in our lives but it can help materialistic people calm down.

by Anonymousreply 103January 17, 2019 4:52 AM

The tojos are just jealous that our closets and dicks are bigger.

by Anonymousreply 104January 17, 2019 7:04 AM

Funny...the fact that there has been such a backlash to Marie Kondo's method of organizing just proves the ultimate crux of her approach--that people (for better, but often times worse) are way too emotionally attached to their stuff and their idea of how it should fit into their lives.

While maybe couched in Japanese philosophy, with the "thanking" of objects and such, all her method is essentially doing is helping an individual confront, reckon with, and ultimately reconcile with that emotional attachment. It's deliberately designed to zero in on that root cause for why so many people can't seem to keep their homes and lives organized.

No other organizing approach deals with that, which is why she's become such a phenomenon. The other organizing gurus just give you tips on how to push your junk around and re-sort it in new piles, instead of tackling the real issue, which is learning how to let it go.

I personally thought her book was brilliant, and it helped me immensely in tidying up my crap, and not surprisingly, 70-80% of it was due to irrational emotional attachments that were tucked away and not dealt with for years. All the while I just kept accumulating more stuff. I would organize, label, categorize, but then it would always get messy again. I had to learn to process the emotions associated with my stuff, and once I did, it was so easy to let it go.

Now my home is filled with the essentially things that truly do bring me "joy" and meaningful utility, which makes life so much easier to navigate.

I don't think the Netflix show is the best forum for her. The book gives so much more depth to her approach, so you fully understand her reasoning behind her approach.

by Anonymousreply 105January 17, 2019 8:07 AM

‘Joy’ is such a hard criterion to sustain, in the long run.

by Anonymousreply 106January 17, 2019 8:47 AM

What I'm curious about, R105, is how far people go with it. I understand why her books helped you in terms of getting rid of stuff, but have you also adopted some of her more radical ideas? I'm thinking of things like drying shampoo and shower-gel bottles and and putting them back in the cabinet after every shower, leaving washed dishes outside, or throwing out user manuals because you can probably find the information online.

by Anonymousreply 107January 17, 2019 8:56 AM

I've never read a user's manual in my life.

by Anonymousreply 108January 17, 2019 10:14 AM

The woman is a flake who fell into a catatonic state because her space was filled with chaos and disorder.

Welcome to my world.

by Anonymousreply 109January 17, 2019 10:24 AM

^^and, no, not the real Muriel. 🙂

by Anonymousreply 110January 17, 2019 10:25 AM

Separating people from their money sparks joy for Marie Kondo.

by Anonymousreply 111January 17, 2019 10:28 AM

Only $89!

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by Anonymousreply 112January 17, 2019 10:33 AM

The price for those little boxes to organize drawers is insane. They're pretty, but I purchased three large sets of the same kind of small organizing boxes at Target for half the price of one of her sets.

As much as I like her method of sorting through everything, the idea of storing it all in drawers simply doesn't work for me.

by Anonymousreply 113January 17, 2019 12:13 PM

She inspired me to clean out my desk at work this morning.

Not her "method," but the freedom of tossing crap cluttering up my life.

by Anonymousreply 114January 17, 2019 1:34 PM

She’s a weird little cunt and a total grifter machine, fuck you Yoko I’ll clean my room when I’m able. Fuck OFF and thank you for the joy...CUNT!

by Anonymousreply 115January 17, 2019 2:07 PM

Did a Japanese exchange student steal your lunch money, r115?

by Anonymousreply 116January 17, 2019 2:10 PM

The ever-insufferable Jezebel weighs in:

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by Anonymousreply 117January 17, 2019 2:18 PM

There's no reason to have more than 50 or so books. Most people I know with more than that haven't read them and have them around just to signal to visitors that they are intellectual.

Buy a kindle, and only keep your absolute favorites in hard copy, so you can lend them to others.

by Anonymousreply 118January 17, 2019 3:25 PM

r118 meet r84

by Anonymousreply 119January 17, 2019 3:27 PM

If Kondo annoys you, you might prefer the lady from Unfuck Your Habitat.

I would totally watch her show. Her book is excellent, too.

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by Anonymousreply 120January 17, 2019 3:33 PM

Also you don't have to throw out the books. I sell mine to a used bookstore.

by Anonymousreply 121January 17, 2019 3:33 PM

r112 Do those boxes spark joy?

by Anonymousreply 122January 17, 2019 4:29 PM

Im extremly offended by this girl cuz she chose a name that many latinos are making fun of at the expense of the gays. she showed very little cultural sensitivity.what if a gay latino chooses to call himself something like "fagoto"?

by Anonymousreply 123January 17, 2019 4:56 PM

She completely lost me with making it a ritual and not "throw as you go". Also against start with just one corner. Lived in Japan. Know the deal. Never will be the same again.

Sure you could pull everything out and make a ceremony but there's a risk of making a mountain over a molehill.

Human nature is ignored here with her technique. It's different for everyone.

DO go against her grain in every day life by living by this one rule:

NEVER LEAVE A ROOM EMPTY HANDED

Also place one trashcan and one recycle can in each area. They could just be empty boxes with a bag fitted.

Even a trip to the bathroom, grab something from a room on way out and place it in a bin outside bathroom door. Grab something as leaving bathroom, dump in bin, as you head back to bedroom. Keep this up for about a month. This will make headway until you find the gumption to do a ritual clean start to finish.

by Anonymousreply 124January 17, 2019 5:07 PM

Or put items that belong downstairs in kitchen on a table outside of bathroom just to get it outside of bedroom. That's the half way mark.

by Anonymousreply 125January 17, 2019 5:20 PM

My husband & I probably had 6,000 books. We have a library in our home that was built by a professor who had a philosophy commune with 13 male graduate students who left Stanford during the student revolt in the '60's. I was an English literature major and my husband had 75 boxes of books that where in the attic due to lack of bookshelf space even though there are bookshelves everywhere.

One thing we did was get a Little Free Library (so we can collect the books our neighbors put in) and we have taken car loads to our wonderful Friends of the Library group.

I realized when going through my books after reading Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, that there were helpful suggestions in letting go of some books by applying the "spark joy" criteria.

We are entering our Golden Age, and realize that certain books will never get read or used. They can be old paperbacks we got for free 70 years ago that are too yellow and smelly to want to ready (Pushkin: The Queen of Spades) or they can be "aspirational," something I thought I might want to do that I know I'll never get around to (How to Crochet Insects) or books that I always hated (Literary Criticism from college). Then there are old guidebooks which I know I can replace when I actually go to Greece or go back to Italy.

There was a more recent book that was poised to be a new breakthrough about "Swedish Death Cleaning." While the book wasn't interesting or helpful, the concept is good. As you hit Medicare age you have a clearer idea about how you will want to spend your time and can let go of the books that symbolized your life efforts and experience and keep the ones that you want to have for your future. My shelves of books by friends, books about insanity, Virginia Woolf and Gertrude Stein and my beautiful Proust still have major real estate.

by Anonymousreply 126January 17, 2019 5:21 PM

Or set up a boutique on a wall in a room with items to sell. Can do this for garage sales as well.

Set up lighting as though for photo shoot. Like a high end boutique. Start taking shots. Or set up a closet.

Then head on over to Mercari, OfferUp, Poshmark and lastly ebay. Try former first. You'll download shipping labels and print them in the app or email. Leave outside for post pickup. Need free boxes? Sign up for a USPS account, place free orders of boxes you've shopped. Don't go crazy or you'll end up with more clutter. Only if you need bigger boxes for your own storage.

Items for pet charity are labeled and sealed. For instance, gemstone beads. Pick through collections and place all of the good ones to one container. The rest placed in bags labelled. I know this charity w/their little thrift store. Package the 30 of those beads, label and seal attractively. They end up in the finer items glass counter near the register. My pet is the Veterans. I know they subsidize educational grants. Another is a no-kill shelter. They've a website to sell. I donated my tech abilities and set up the whole thing. Can also determine if item never listed. Then I'll find the thief.

This is my "tree house approach". Slim down the numbers in a box of nails, beads, glass gems or anything of quantity. You don't have to give it up just lesson amount you'll not live long enough to use. Package in cellophane bags attractively so the volunteers can just shelve it as is.

With each little stint, place items in box and feel their weight to the oz/g. Store inside a box and close it up when not in use. Keep going until you have a nice collection of gift for pet charity. Think of a crusade to lighten the weight of your home as though you reside in a tree house. Go by weight method if this flows and triggers your ambition. Something will trigger you. Just need to find out what it is.

MariKondo only accommodates those who respond by her method triggering them. Take the folding clothes hack, storage or packing suitcase tips into your repertoire as you quest to curate a custom self ambition festival triggering package of your home.

If it takes labeling in neatly written marker (bilingual if needed) on a box describing contents as finding a motivation, then add that segment to the bullet list.

You'll eventually find it in a YT channel as well. Take the best triggers and motivation from that one person and leave the rest. Bullet point that one trigger. Keep up the search for your custom program.

We're individuals, we are.

by Anonymousreply 127January 17, 2019 6:08 PM

Really though, if you've already read a book and don't expect to read it again, what possible benefit is there in keeping it?

by Anonymousreply 128January 17, 2019 6:13 PM

r128 I commented upthread about regretting culling my large library in my early 20s.

Books I never thought I'd read again at 22 suddenly have newfound interest for me at 35. Who knows what books will pique my interest again at 45, 55, or 65.

The life of the mind is a curious thing.

by Anonymousreply 129January 17, 2019 6:15 PM

Or you could just list the books for sale for free listing insertion on a dozen online platforms. Exhaust that avenue? Package them attractively for your pet charity. Nothing goes wasted in the métis method. Rien.

by Anonymousreply 130January 17, 2019 6:22 PM

Hey braniac at R129, you're wasting bandwidth, the public time and your life with these silly anecdotes.

Datalounge works off of program comme old bitty torrent sites. Upload/Download. How are your posts benefitting us? Your self congratulatory delusional circle jerk is to massage only your smoothbrain self. Get lost.

by Anonymousreply 131January 17, 2019 6:28 PM

Books and papers quickly transform into paper mite colonies, btw.*

*lookitup

by Anonymousreply 132January 17, 2019 6:31 PM

R129 So you would hold on to something 20+ years because you *might* read it again?

Just buy it back. Books are cheap. Or again, best of all get a Kindle.

by Anonymousreply 133January 17, 2019 6:45 PM

If she really gets any sizable percentage of Americans to do a major and thoughtful decluttering, she'll have done something. And then to go one level deeper, if she were to somehow manage to convince us all that we don't need so much STUFF (i.e. don't buy it in the first place) that would be huge. Though she's swimming upstream on that one as we are constantly assaulted with stuff we're supposed to want, need, have to keep the consumerism going.

Recycling should be easier, there should be free paper shredding at the manned collection sites in major cities, and more things should be easier to recycle.

by Anonymousreply 134January 17, 2019 6:52 PM

I have been a chronic reader since age 3. Now I am 63. I have had thousands of books over the course of my lifetime, and I have shed thousands during several moves. I mostly use my kindle now for reading, because I can embiggen the typeface. Most books are printed in such a small font, I find it very difficult to pay attention to what I'm reading.

I'm down to fewer books now than I've had since college, probably, and I know I'm not going to read any but reference books, including cookbooks.

It really has made life easier, getting rid of books. Records, too. I held on to around 100 of them after selling my last turntable, thinking I'd buy another turntable someday, but that's just not how I listen to music anymore.

I found an organization that delivers books to prisoners. It's a local thing. Maybe there's one where you live. They mostly want paperbacks, though, because of the cost of shipping. I was surprised to find out that the book categories most wanted by prisoners were mystery bestsellers, cookbooks, and gay fiction and non-fiction.

by Anonymousreply 135January 17, 2019 6:57 PM

R133, understand, being anonymous there's no culpability to an online account so mindless lost souls w/agenda, self satisfying always, will gravitate here. So hollow and empty.

Glad you called it out.

by Anonymousreply 136January 17, 2019 6:58 PM

R136 I think you were referring to R131 not me. Regardless, there are better things to do on drugs than post on Datalounge. Go on a hike or something

by Anonymousreply 137January 17, 2019 7:00 PM

No one cares R135 plus no glamor. Move on from here, wouldya?

by Anonymousreply 138January 17, 2019 7:00 PM

That chick's cold sore in the first episode was too much for me. That and the fact that she and her husband called each other "babe" AT LEAST a million times.

by Anonymousreply 139January 17, 2019 7:03 PM

Gotta get out of here Can't do live posting. Dolt city. Read and quick scan in a few days.

by Anonymousreply 140January 17, 2019 7:04 PM

R126 I enjoyed reading your post. I am in my early 50s and have started to take a look at some of my "aspirational book" purchases over the years. It has been enlightening to think about what my interests are now and how much time I might have left to pursue them. In a way, my process has involved the "does this bring me joy?" question and the Swedish death idea of a finite time on earth. Oh, yeah, I'm a hoot at dinner parties.

I don't doubt that many book collectors have a "life of the mind" as stated above. But I think many of us hold on to books because they represent the wonderful, well-earned adventure that reading brought us. The actual books are just physical reminders, however, and the adventures can't be exactly duplicated.

by Anonymousreply 141January 17, 2019 7:37 PM

Crap. People really have strong feelings about my need to hang onto my books.

I live a simple existence. I don't have much "stuff" -- a small wardrobe, five or six pairs of shoes, a bedroom set that belonged to my grandmother. And my library. That's about it.

Given the junk most people save/accumulate, I think books are pretty innocuous.

by Anonymousreply 142January 17, 2019 7:42 PM

I will never, ever give up my books.

by Anonymousreply 143January 17, 2019 7:55 PM

I have a ton of books, I like them, but I also don't feel defensive about it. I read Kondo's book, got rid of some stuff, which I appreciate and kept most of my books. I used Kondo in a way that worked for me. I mean, it's just one woman's opinion--no one's forced to follow her advice lock, stock and barrel.

Besides, less gack means more room for books--and, yes, I do reread parts of mine and I don't feel like paying Amazon a bunch of money to Kindle-size stuff I already own. (And I'm old enough that a fair amount of it is out of print.) I just wish I had a copy of Kondo's--I got it out of the library and the copies are always out.

by Anonymousreply 144January 17, 2019 9:15 PM

I reread books and love occasionally flipping through my two most expensive college textbooks from decades ago—Constitutional Law and The Complete Works of Aristotle. Reading my notes in the margins is like a glimpse into the brain of my much younger self.

by Anonymousreply 145January 17, 2019 11:21 PM

WHO saves dirty sponges?

People don't seem to see the difference between a messy apartment/home due to time constraints, actual hoarding, being a collector of memorabilia and being just plain filthy.

Of course, the larger apartment or home you have, the more room you have to save stuff. Well, duh.

I used to get a kick out of the BBCAmerica series "How Clean is Your House?" The people featured on the show were vile. They never cleaned their toilet bowls, their bathtubs, their stoves, some had maggots! One woman's cat use her BED as a litter box. This woman lived in a huge grand apartment in Scotland, it looked like a Manhattan prewar. She was a filthy slob, but not on her body. She as fashionable and clean, her apartment was a hovel. This is a mental disorder. IIRC, she told one of the women hosts, that she didn't ever do laundry, she'd just buy new towels, sheets, clothes, underwear etc! Sheer insanity.

by Anonymousreply 146January 17, 2019 11:36 PM

R146 I LOVED How Clean is Your House. I still think of them collecting samples to grow on petri dishes when I'm cleaning my own house.

by Anonymousreply 147January 18, 2019 12:10 AM

I reorganized my drawers and closets using her methods and it really worked for me. It’s so much easier to find everything. At first I wasn’t understanding all the hate, but then I remembered that I’m on DL.

by Anonymousreply 148January 18, 2019 12:14 AM

I watched the first episode of this show and didn't like it. As others have said- it was boring, the couple seems miserable, and it had two of the most annoying kids I've seen on a show in a long time. That screeching kid yelling for boobies was super obnoxious. Plus reading the subtitles made the show just drag on.

Are any of the other episodes worth watching?

I did follow her advice and dumped all my clothes in a pile and went through them. Ended up with about 20 shirts/pants to donate. Not too much, but I wear everything else I have.

by Anonymousreply 149January 18, 2019 12:20 AM

I’ve done normal purgings of “stuff” my whole adult life, apartment to apartment over the course of years forces you to be economic on things, but I never discarded my books, maybe two hundred(?), but I finally settled into an apartment with endless bookcases built in the walls and now they all have found their ideal “home”, I don’t need a fabricated persona to enlighten me about my joy, bravo to all who embrace her, but it’s all reality tv fluff for me.

by Anonymousreply 150January 18, 2019 1:39 AM

I moved from a condo with a lot of closets and storage to another one with tiny closets and no long walls to place bookcases. The lack of wall space is so limiting, I’m putting all my family photos in albums and giving away dozens of frames I used for photos. There’s just no place to hang them.

If you look at really high end houses in magazines, you see a lot of empty tables and desks with maybe one or two, large, decorative items. The rest of the surface is empty. My usual decorating style has been displaying a bunch of small knickknacks and photos in nice frames. In this awkward, storage-free house, it’s inpossible to display small items.

I’ve spent the last few weeks ruthlessly giving away dozens, if not hundreds, of small items or duplicates. One thing I’ve really noticed is that as I’m getting rid of them, I realize that I never needed the item in the first place. I just wasted the money. If I was going to do it again, I’d buy much fewer items of much higher quality.

I’d be better off buying one $500 vase than having ten of them. I don’t have the room to store ten, even if they were free.

by Anonymousreply 151January 18, 2019 2:00 AM

But what do I do with my Beanie Baby collection?

by Anonymousreply 152January 18, 2019 3:15 AM

Do you think the Korean-looking guy in R100 is nailing Kondo-san on the regular?

by Anonymousreply 153January 18, 2019 3:45 AM

Nailing? After she blew up his overpriced used-textbook scam by throwing all of them out? No, the froideur extends to the bedroom. That much is clear.

by Anonymousreply 154January 18, 2019 4:07 AM

Her book came years before the show, R150. You might call it self-help fluff, but it's not accurate to call it reality television fluff.

That said, I agree with your point and think a lot of people are missing it: if it works for you, fine, but if it doesn't, no one is forcing it on you. Also, we can pick and choose. I'd never get rid of my books or movies, but her method for clothing is really helpful to me.

by Anonymousreply 155January 18, 2019 9:26 AM

“Invite prenty of annoying peopre such as flau riving next dool to youl apaltment. Give them teas and terr them how much you varued them in youl rife. Then, sprash gasorine on pletty calpet, right match, reave apaltment, rock dool, and watch frames flom opposite sidewark. Spalk joy.”

by Anonymousreply 156January 18, 2019 9:57 AM

Was the "Sum Ting Wong" troll unavailable, r156?

by Anonymousreply 157January 18, 2019 9:59 AM

[quote]Was the "Sum Ting Wong" troll unavailable, r156?

You called Kondo "a Japanese," buddy, so cram it. So tired of people like you playing both sides of an issue just to stir up crap. First you're racist, then you're complaining about racists. There's no need for it, especially on a thread like this.

by Anonymousreply 158January 18, 2019 10:05 AM

Nothing I said was racist, r158.

by Anonymousreply 159January 18, 2019 10:07 AM

I did a Kondo on an old friend of mine. She now longer sparked joy (only frustration and anger) - out she went. Happy 2019!

by Anonymousreply 160January 18, 2019 10:11 AM

Susie Orman wanted you to feel bad that you had wasted your money on junk. I think you need to mix that sense of guilt, and being able to happily move something along, to get good results. You need to remember the pain of the guilt next time you go shopping.

by Anonymousreply 161January 18, 2019 10:14 AM

I'd watch it, if I could. People thought watching Hoarders would make them tidier, but I don't think that generally worked. It didn't for me.

by Anonymousreply 162January 18, 2019 10:22 AM

R95 But the objects in a museum are still relevant because they still spark joy. And they are more likely to spark joy because museums don't tend to clutter - they give important objects the space required for them to be properly appreciated.

by Anonymousreply 163January 18, 2019 10:35 AM

R53 Poor people do have a lot of stuff. You are left to think, if you didn't buy all that crap, you could probably be able to afford better things that will actually last. It all adds up.

by Anonymousreply 164January 18, 2019 10:37 AM

R27, you fucking cunt, AVG says that webpage is fucking infected with JS Miner malware!

by Anonymousreply 165January 18, 2019 10:43 AM

That little bitty chick barely speaks English. No sir I'm not taking the advice of a non English speaking person. Plus what does she know, she's too tiny to know important things. She wears doll clothes.

by Anonymousreply 166January 18, 2019 10:43 AM

[quote] I hate doing dishes, and no one has ever called me "lazy" because of it. In fact, I get a lot of "yeah, me too" if it comes up in conversation. But with a woman, it's seen as a character flaw.

Years ago, I decided to surprise my new bf by sweeping and mopping his entire apartment while he ran a few errands.

When he came back, instead of being grateful, he complained that I hadn't washed the dishes instead.

I told him to fuck the hell off and left, never speaking to that stupid piece of shit ever again.

by Anonymousreply 167January 18, 2019 10:47 AM

I used to love Clutterbug, R96, but then I started watching the ends of her videos where she tells personal stories -- and she is a fucking LUNATIC! Seriously, she is like dangerously impulsive and, quite frankly, fucking stupid.

I actually called the police on her (using the non-emergency number, of course) for one of her videos, where she openly admitted that she just flings her dog's shit into the city's river that her house backs up against. I mean, how fucking stupid and lazy and disgusting can a person be, to think that's ok?!?!? I hope she gets fined thousands of dollars for it, the stupid cunt.

by Anonymousreply 168January 18, 2019 11:41 AM

The police don't even handle that kind of thing, R168. You'd call city hall and report a violation of an ordinance.

Also, amazing but true fact: animals poop in rivers all the time.

by Anonymousreply 169January 18, 2019 12:09 PM

My partner and I have 300+ DVDs and definitely don't watch them all. Sometimes I try to get rid of some of them, but it's tough.

I have a little under 150 CDs. One I hadn't listened to in years (15 years thereabouts) and have been listening to all week now. I'm glad I kept it.

I have just counted my books and there are next to 400. Every few months I resell or donate my recent book purchases if I feel they're not going to stay. The others I keep unless they're in bad repair. Recounting them however made me realise some had to go. Same for the DVDs, but like I said, it's hard. I don't keep my books to "show", they're for myself.

For some reason the CDs I've been very reasonable with. I can go years without buying any at all.

by Anonymousreply 170January 18, 2019 12:42 PM

That's not true R133, some books (same goes for films, music...) become hard to find after their initial print. Outside of The Great Gatsby or whatever other classic you know you'll always find, if you've got a copy of a book that's out of print, and it means a lot to you, don't let go unless you absolutely have to get rid of all your possessions. That's my opinion.

by Anonymousreply 171January 18, 2019 12:46 PM

I don’t understand why everyone’s getting upset about their book/dvd etc collections. Kondo’s method is not mandatory, if you don’t want to reduce your stuff, don’t. I’m sure she doesn’t care.

Also, her method states that you only get rid of things if they don’t “spark joy”. In other words, if they aren’t useful and don’t hold any lasting sentimental value, get rid of them. If you’ve gone through all 300+ books, DVDs, etc. and you can’t let them go, keep them.

Perhaps there are other areas in your house where there’s less emotional attachment (like the kitchen or garage) where you can easily get rid of things to make room for the objects you actually like.

by Anonymousreply 172January 18, 2019 1:12 PM

[quote]I have just counted my books and there are next to 400. Every few months I resell or donate my recent book purchases if I feel they're not going to stay.

r170, I now have around 150. I counted 115, and I have two U-Haul small moving boxes filled with books.

I hadn't counted my books since 1999, when there were around 1500. I got rid of just under 1000 at that time, as I was moving to a new city. I left all the books I didn't want in the laundry room of my apartment building. Most were gone in a couple of days.

I gave away more in 2015 (after a second move, during which I realized I didn't want to move this number of books again). I have the urge to go through them again. I only want to keep reference and photo books. I do all my print-only reading on my kindle (I reread no more than 10% of novels).

by Anonymousreply 173January 18, 2019 1:36 PM

I don't think you need to limit yourself to a specific number of books.

I say buy ONE nice bookshelf, however large you think is good for the room it goes in. Fill it. Don't buy anymore, unless you make space by donating or selling some old ones.

by Anonymousreply 174January 18, 2019 1:43 PM

Done!

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by Anonymousreply 175January 18, 2019 2:15 PM

The only mess that I have that needs tidying up, comes from my bottom.

by Anonymousreply 176January 18, 2019 2:28 PM

What if every god dam single item I own sparks joy? Then I’m fucked?

by Anonymousreply 177January 18, 2019 2:37 PM

R175 That seems perfectly fine. I can't imagine Marie would have a problem with that

by Anonymousreply 178January 18, 2019 2:41 PM

ONE bookshelf, R174? Maybe when I was 17.

by Anonymousreply 179January 18, 2019 2:43 PM

The amount of stuff you have in one area reveals what type of person you are. If you love books, you're going to have lots of them, if you love clothes, shoes, etc. Or maybe it's your garage that's filled with crap, or you've got 3 freezers filled with food that's probably past the consumption date by now.

Today I realized a pair of shoes I believed to have thrown away are still in the house. Out they go. I'm also going to resell ONE book.

by Anonymousreply 180January 18, 2019 2:46 PM

Isn't there a French saying along the lines of "Tell me what you read; I'll tell you who you are" ?

by Anonymousreply 181January 18, 2019 2:49 PM

You need to physically own to wear them, and it's common to wear one piece of clothing many times. After you've read a book, unless you will read it again there is no practical reason to keep it.

by Anonymousreply 182January 18, 2019 2:50 PM

What a cunt !

by Anonymousreply 183January 18, 2019 2:51 PM

She can take her Shinto maiden shit and stuff it up her squeaky clean pie hole, “spark joy” on my balls bitch!

by Anonymousreply 184January 18, 2019 3:42 PM

There are plenty of people who will pick up a book again.

by Anonymousreply 185January 18, 2019 3:44 PM

I throw everything away and like my “surfaces”. My partner hoards everything. You can’t imagine the fights. Does she have a chapter for us?

by Anonymousreply 186January 18, 2019 3:58 PM

My mom was a hoarder, and I was the one that cleaned up her home after she was gone. Roaches everywhere. My family was so grossed out by seeing bugs of every description crawling everywhere, we didn’t want anything from that house. I cleaned the pots and pans very carefully and gave them to a battered woman’s shelter. I cleaned all the glassware and crystal and sold it. The furniture we got rid of because it was all infested. I felt like I was crawling every day I was there cleaning.

One thing I decided after seeing that was when I got older, I would completely declutter my house and get rid of excess furniture and knickknacks. Old people often aren’t well enough to do a lot of dusting and cleaning, so keeping surfaces clear is the difference between being able to maintain a clean house yourself and not being able to do it.

I have several relatives that inherited the hoarder gene and their houses are always a mess, although they’re not as bad as my mom at all. One has a lot of expensive, beautiful clutter. It makes the house a mess just as much as cheap, dirty clutter.

When my dad was old, he was hospitalized. Before he came home, a physical therapist inspected the house to make sure it was safe for him to return. His house was extremely clutter free. The p.t. suggested getting rid of a throw rug and a few minor changes, and left. He told me he often went to old people’s houses that were full of clutter and they weren't allowed to come home. It was either declutter or a nursing home. Some were so resistant to decluttering they were never allowed home. They valued possessions over living at home! That’s when you know you don’t own the things, the things own you.

From what I’ve seen, clutter contributes to depression and an inability to be active. It’s like the possessions are so weighty they hold people back. And old people seem unable to cope with changing them or removing them. They represent a happier past to them and they cling to anything that reminds them of the past, unable to get rid of a single thing. It’s like they’re frozen in time.

It’s better to get it resolved when you’re younger and aren’t looking at your whole life as being in the past. Then you can look forward to making new memories and aren’t so resistant to releasing items that are memory touchstones.

by Anonymousreply 187January 18, 2019 4:30 PM

Nice post, R187.

by Anonymousreply 188January 18, 2019 4:54 PM

The only book round-eye should have in house is BIBLE!

by Anonymousreply 189January 18, 2019 4:55 PM

I echo what 187 wrote. My sister and I spent days clearing out my mom’s house when she had to go to a nursing home after a stroke. We needed the place to be pristine before putting it up for sale.

Luckily there were no bugs but lots of books, collectibles, bric à brac etc. We tried to get her to clean up for years but she refused.

To those of you on thread with huge collections, I urge you to make an effort to clear out all your stuff before you get too old. Leaving the clean up to friends and relatives is not fair and very selfish.

by Anonymousreply 190January 18, 2019 5:25 PM

Throw away your shits, buy mine!

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by Anonymousreply 191January 18, 2019 5:34 PM

You throw away books, buy mine!

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by Anonymousreply 192January 18, 2019 5:38 PM

So now there are like 10 million copies of her books on how to fold your socks propoerly floating around in the US, while people have purged their boring old classics. If it isn't idiocracy defined.

by Anonymousreply 193January 18, 2019 5:41 PM

A few comments for anyone thinking about giving their stuff away:

- Please try to find organizations that are NOT Goodwill or Salvation Army for your things. Goodwill sells donations and very little of the profit gets to the organizations they serve, and SA is antigay. There are likely small thrift stores around that raise money for nonprofits. In Chicago there's Brown Elephant (for HIV/AIDS research) and I know of a few small stores in the burbs that raise money for various nonprofits - humane society, mental health and homelessness help, etc.

- If you are donating books there may be a place to specifically donate books. We have a place called Open Books that takes donations and supports literacy efforts. I know Goodwill might be easy but look around first.

- Used bookstores are getting slammed from hell because of this. I would NOT count on Half Price Books taking your stuff or giving you anything of value.

- If you have CD's, consider donating to a library. Some used record stores may take them but CD's are literally a dime a dozen these days. A few might be worth enough to sell online, but most will not.

- If you have vinyl records....well, that's a whole marketplace unto itself. I collect vinyl and can't tell you how many times people have come into stores while I've been shopping and think they have a goldmine of treasure because Grandma had all the albums in her garage. Most pre 1960s LPs are not worth much. (Unless your ancestors loved rare jazz or R&B 78s.) And as for anything after that, it depends on both the rarity (or lack of) the item and the condition. There is a website called Discogs that gives you an idea of worth, but people usually look at the highest price there, and that's for a copy that basically was unopened in mint condition - which is pretty rare to find for an old record in the marketplace.

by Anonymousreply 194January 18, 2019 5:46 PM

In my town none of the local bookstores will buy books. Instead, they will take your books for free and give you store credit. I refuse to do that. I’m decluttering, I don’t need more clutter. And I resent having to give my books for free to a for-profit store so they can profit, while I can’t. Fuck them.

Instead, I give them to the library. They sell a lot of them, but they use the money to run the library, which is something I support. I’ll be damned if I’ll support some random stranger’s business.

I once give the library a beautifully illustrated children’s book I had received as a gift. They were very excited and took it from me to immediately put in the shelves, saying they needed more copies of that book. It was much in demand.

by Anonymousreply 195January 18, 2019 6:10 PM

The only collection I have now is Bauer Pottery. When I die, someone can throw it in the dishwasher and either sell it as a lot or donate it as a lot. In that way, it’s much easier to get rid of than a thousand miscellaneous knickknacks.

by Anonymousreply 196January 18, 2019 6:16 PM

The consultants are coming! The consultants are coming!

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by Anonymousreply 197January 18, 2019 7:39 PM

[quote]- If you have vinyl records....well, that's a whole marketplace unto itself. I collect vinyl and can't tell you how many times people have come into stores while I've been shopping and think they have a goldmine of treasure because Grandma had all the albums in her garage. Most pre 1960s LPs are not worth much. (Unless your ancestors loved rare jazz or R&B 78s.) And as for anything after that, it depends on both the rarity (or lack of) the item and the condition. There is a website called Discogs that gives you an idea of worth, but people usually look at the highest price there, and that's for a copy that basically was unopened in mint condition - which is pretty rare to find for an old record in the marketplace.

Most of this is not true at all. Vinyl collectors will pay big bucks for anything they collect. One man's crap is another's treasure and that applies to vinyl records. Of course, no one will pay a high amount for a badly scratched record, unless they are looking to replace an LPs cover and the cover in Mint.

There's a lot of unopened vinyl out there. I remember when the West 4th Street Greenwich Village Tower Records closed. They were selling tons of sealed vinyl. There were also lots of sealed Import LPs, which Anglophile record collectors prefer. Some re-sellers I know bought several copies of specific LPs to sell online and in their small record shops.

Making blanket statements about vinyl not being worth much is absurd. A friend has been in the process of selling 50,000 of his 100,000 LPs. He's been selling mostly on eBay. He's doing well.

He's been getting close to $50 for the rarest and 'minty-est' LPs. His collection ranges from jazz, avant-garde jazz, rock and R'n'B from the 50s through 90s and lots of diverse unopened vinyl which he collected yet never had the time to listen to. He's close to retirement and trying to size down, though his adult sons wanted a lot of the LPs.

I forgot what he got for a sealed copy of Annette Peacock's I'm The One, the 1970s original pressing, but it sure wasn't a few bucks!

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by Anonymousreply 198January 18, 2019 10:50 PM

r198 Most people's old vinyl though is Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass, dumbed-down Classical "elevator" music, Henry Mancini's Christmas Album...or bashed up, warped Rolling stones/Beatles/Pink Floyd. Rare records are still, rare.

by Anonymousreply 199January 18, 2019 11:18 PM

[quote] Most people's old vinyl though is Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass, dumbed-down Classical "elevator" music, Henry Mancini's Christmas Album...or bashed up, warped Rolling stones/Beatles/Pink Floyd. Rare records are still, rare.

Again, you are totally missing the point. Another person's garbage, is another's treasure. Are you saying someone who has Herb Alpert/Mancini/Beatle LPs, who might really enjoy them, but their copies could be well worn, yet they want to replace them. They are looking for those LPs in top condition, so those LPs are 'rare' to them. Is this lost on you?

Any vinyl can be 'rare' in a specific collector's eyes.

'Rare' is mostly in the eye of the beholder, I have tons of 'rare' avant-garde jazz:, Carla Bley, Gary Burton, Micheal Mantler, Sam Rivers, Carla's epic 3 LP set Escalator Over the Hill featuring Linda Ronstadt, of all people, and Jack Bruce, yet few people are into this kind of music. Yet the serious avant grade jazz collector will pay big bucks for mint vinyl.

Years ago, on eBay, I purchased an eight CD jazz collection ranging from Miles Davis, Harry Connick, to Carla Bley's Escalator, which was the main CD I was interested in. I only paid $5 and shipping for those 8 CDs. Years down the line I saw a CD copy of Escalator for $30. This 2 CD set is now going for $50 on eBay. Why? Likely because it's out-of-print. As is the 3 LP set.

by Anonymousreply 200January 19, 2019 12:25 AM

[quote] Makeover shows have to be paced in a very specific way in order to work. HGTV has it down to a science, but clearly Netflix is still learning.

This R10.

A million times this.

The timing was just off, the producers needed to tell her that if she called him "babe" one more time, they were off the show. (She called him "babe" several times in the same fucking sentence at one point."

They need to make her hiring the laundry person a bigger deal--he needed to be mad because they could not afford it, so that there seemed to be more at stake.

They needed to cut the bullshit line where she said the laundry person--most likely a poor illegal immigrant--was "happy" she got fired. WTF??

The mom was acting-out lazy. Not that hard to stick the dishes in the dishwasher. That was introduced but not addressed.

The shreiking happy intros every time they saw Marie were weird AF

And the translator thing... they spent way too much time on having us hear Marie talk in Japanese to the translator and then the translator repeating in English. Just use fucking subtitles.

Will not watch episode 2

by Anonymousreply 201January 19, 2019 12:52 AM

Fuck this shit, I like my stuff. I'm not a hoarder, but I see no point in minimalism either. I had a minimalist phase years ago, and it was...well, boring.

by Anonymousreply 202January 19, 2019 12:56 AM

And who folds jeans and puts them in a drawer? (versus putting them on a hanger in the closet)

by Anonymousreply 203January 19, 2019 1:03 AM

!!BREAKING!!

Cold-Sore Mom is in the process of changing her Instagram color scheme from pale pink and mint green to something warmer and browner. This shocking twist comes on the heels of a very short-lived (some would say disastrous) foray into palest warm purple.

That last time she took such a drastic step was when she kicked out poor aquamarine to make room for mint green.

What does it all mean???

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by Anonymousreply 204January 19, 2019 1:19 AM

LA DLers--what is Lakewood like? I've driven past the exit on the way to Long Beach, but know nothing about it. (That's were the peoole in Episode 1 live)

by Anonymousreply 205January 19, 2019 1:22 AM

^^where the people in Episode 1

by Anonymousreply 206January 19, 2019 1:34 AM

It’s like Levittown. It’s a post-WWII pop-up community with a few house styles stretching on endlessly.

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by Anonymousreply 207January 19, 2019 1:36 AM

Thanks R207

Is it getting gentrified or just random that they live there?

by Anonymousreply 208January 19, 2019 1:44 AM

“Fullofgrace! Fullofgrace! Sparkjoy!” The doll spoke, it’s a miracle!

by Anonymousreply 209January 19, 2019 1:59 AM

R209 Chrissie no!!!!!!!!

by Anonymousreply 210January 19, 2019 3:04 AM

It isn’t really being gentrified in the usual sense, r208. The properties are being renovated but that’s mainly because Lakewood is the type of place a family from a bad area moves to raise their kids. I do wonder how couple #1 ended up there. They mentioned liking the house when they bought it, so that rules out inheriting it from a grandparent who bought early and never left.

People who bought fifty years ago are going to nursing houses or dying off, so when their never-modernized houses go on the market for 450-500k, a family with two working parents will buy and then enlist fathers, uncles, cousins, etc. to bust their asses renovating. While the houses are cookie-cutter on the outside, the new buyers have done a great job on a lot of them.

She teaches at Saddleback College which is almost forty miles away, over an hour’s drive in traffic. I’m wondering if works closer, maybe in Long Beach.

by Anonymousreply 211January 19, 2019 3:06 AM

Everything you ever wanted to know about Lakewood.

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by Anonymousreply 212January 19, 2019 3:15 AM

[quote]They need to make her hiring the laundry person a bigger deal--he needed to be mad because they could not afford it, so that there seemed to be more at stake.

But they could afford it. He worked 80-hour weeks, if I recall? Maybe 60-hour weeks? And she also worked part-time. It very much seems like they could afford it, which made the whole laundry argument stupid.

We've had enormous threads here on DL about laundry and everybody sends their laundry out. It's baffling that so many people on this thread would act like she was insane and impertinent for even suggesting it, especially in this day and age.

[quote]The mom was acting-out lazy. Not that hard to stick the dishes in the dishwasher.

I agree with what was said earlier in the thread about how, if she didn't want to do a specific chore, there's no reason that these adults couldn't figure out some kind of compromise. The husband wouldn't compromise and was trying to manipulate her by saying that she was sexy when she did chores. Very weird.

Even weirder is that so few people noticed. I was really taken aback, and yet I don't hear very many people anywhere talking about how strange that was.

by Anonymousreply 213January 19, 2019 3:23 AM

I missed that part, but I do remember him saying "....and she has [italic]great[/italic] eyes" apropos of nothing. The other thing was the way said the laundry (or was it the dishes?) really pissed him off. MARY! me if you will, but there was something creepy about his tone of voice when he said that.

by Anonymousreply 214January 19, 2019 3:51 AM

Chinks are dirty, dey eat cats, why would eye trust a dirty robot slanty with my desirables? Fuck you Fu BitchHu!

by Anonymousreply 215January 19, 2019 4:08 AM

I’m not taking advice from Donna Chang!

by Anonymousreply 216January 19, 2019 4:13 AM

To Wrong You, Thanks for Joy Spark! Jujoo Kondkunt

by Anonymousreply 217January 19, 2019 4:16 AM

R213 I suspect the relationship dynamic in that first episode inspired this Twitter thread...

[quote]I hope 2019 is the year a bunch of women in hetero marriages apply the Marie Kondo method to the marriage.

[quote]Does this husband spark joy?

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by Anonymousreply 218January 19, 2019 7:11 AM

I do, R203. But I've always been a minimalist for clothes - I own what I need, when something is no longer wearable, I replace it. That's it. I have "work" clothes and "summer" clothes. I own 5 pairs of shoes, including the flip-flops I wear at home.

by Anonymousreply 219January 19, 2019 11:26 AM

I have started cleaning out my apartment. I was inspired by Kondo, although I'm not following her method.

The hardest thing to toss is gifts from other people. If I'[m honest I'll admit it's mostly junk, but also tokens of their friendship.

by Anonymousreply 220January 19, 2019 1:07 PM

She seems slightly retarded.

by Anonymousreply 221January 19, 2019 3:16 PM

Japanese women are basically conditioned to act that way, r221. It's a deeply sexist culture.

by Anonymousreply 222January 19, 2019 3:18 PM

In Japanese culture women are thought of as sexy when they act like a little girl. The whole culture sexualizes little girls wearing school uniforms. Look at anime sometime.

I noticed the husband talking about the wife being sexy when she did dishes (doing what she hates) too. It was manipulative. “Do something you hate doing, that’s sexy to me.” The only way that makes sense is if they have an S/M relationship.

Otherwise, it’s just a cheap, manipulative bastard trying to manipulate his wife into doing something she hates doing, when they have plenty of money and she doesn’t have to. Because he “enjoys” his wife being unhappy. It turns him on. What a creep.

Some women will put up with any kind of low-life dirtbag to live in a nicer house than they can afford on their own. Like Melania.

Like Bill Maher said last night about Kondo, if I wanted to lose half of everything I had, (I’d get married and get a divorce without a pre-nup).

by Anonymousreply 223January 19, 2019 5:23 PM

At least you credit the jokes you steal, so that’s something.

by Anonymousreply 224January 19, 2019 5:27 PM

Thank you R211 and R212

Appreciate the insight

by Anonymousreply 225January 19, 2019 7:55 PM

You missed the point entirely R213

The show needed some dramatic tension and that could have added it. It was meant more as an example of something that was brought up but then quickly dropped (other than the crap about the laundress being grateful too)

Not sure how the number of hours he works as a sales manager each week impacts their income. I doubt it's an hourly wage job. And the fact that a number of single gay men send their laundry out (I actually seem to remember the opposite being the case, but let's say you're right here) is very different than having someone come to the house to do out laundry generated by a family of four with two toddlers.

by Anonymousreply 226January 19, 2019 7:59 PM

"Nursing houses"? I have no idea what I was thinking but I'm going to blame it on the Benadryl.

by Anonymousreply 227January 19, 2019 8:14 PM

A nursing house is not a nursing home.

by Anonymousreply 228January 19, 2019 8:24 PM

Only keep thirty books? Oh fuck this cunt

by Anonymousreply 229January 19, 2019 8:50 PM

This thread does not spark joy.

by Anonymousreply 230January 19, 2019 8:52 PM

She’s incapable of being authentic on camera, she’s like a trained monkey.

by Anonymousreply 231January 20, 2019 4:10 AM

People think women today don’t keep up like their grandmothers did, but their grandmothers had milk, eggs, bread and cheese delivered, a diaper service that picked up the dirty diapers and brought clean ones every day, and often sent out the laundry, which came back clean and in a package, ready to put away. They might not have had a second car, but a lot of the everyday errands were delivered.

They also often had a housekeeper at least part time who came in during the day and watched the kids and cooked dinner. Not only rich people either, a lot of middle class families had this. In those days, women were supposed to put their husbands first, not their kids. Keeping up their looks was supposed to be important, so having no help and being isolated at home while wearing a shapeless sack and no makeup wasn’t considered a virtue. People thought there was something wrong with that.

And no one considered those women lazy, they were considered good mothers, probably because they looked put together and competent. Today’s moms look frazzled and bedraggled, but don’t get the help earlier generations did. No grandmother down the street to help out with the kids, no neighbor they could exchange childcare with. People today generally have no extended family or friends to help them out. Everyone has to work all the time and there’s no safety net.

People don’t realize how much standards have dropped over time, not just about people having a spotless house, but that no one did that alone and no one expected them to. They got a lot of help that doesn’t even exist now.

by Anonymousreply 232January 20, 2019 5:11 AM

Plus today’s moms have to spend all this time maintaining their “brand” on Facebook. More work that didn’t exist back then.

by Anonymousreply 233January 20, 2019 5:37 AM

r233 I wonder if we're going to see a spike in personality disorder in the next 15-30 years, since so many parents spend their children's formative years with their faces attached to a smartphone.

That cannot be good for a young child's emotional and physiological development.

by Anonymousreply 234January 20, 2019 9:14 AM

*psychological

by Anonymousreply 235January 20, 2019 11:04 AM

Kondo is someone who feels at home in a dentist waiting room, and any dumb fuck who tells you to towel off your shampoo after you use it so you can store it away has a mental condition, brava for her ambition and success, but she’s a loon.

by Anonymousreply 236January 20, 2019 12:29 PM

[quote] They also often had a housekeeper at least part time who came in during the day and watched the kids and cooked dinner. Not only rich people either, a lot of middle class families had this.

Not really. This was true in the era before World War 2, when there were no washing machines and dishwashers and the like and there was a steady supply of poor immigrant women to serve as "the help."

But in the postwar era, middle class families rarely had help.

That changed in the 80s and 90s as more women went to work and it's a huge class divide issue now--upper middle class families have nannies or au pairs, middle class families have daycare. I grew up in the 90s and 00s, my mother worked very part-time from home (she's a lawyer and would help her old firm with things here and there) but we also had a full-time nanny (who was always referred to as a "babysitter") a Caribbean woman who also did the laundry, made the beds and cleaned up the breakfast dishes. She'd also make me and my brother lunch and dinner. As we got older, her duties included more housekeeping and getting us to various practices, since we were at school most of the day. Pretty much all of my friends had a similar arrangement regardless of whether or not their mother worked.

But that was the UWS of Manhattan. Kids I met in college who grew up in more middle class areas went to day care and their moms and dads scrambled to make it there before the day care closed and weekends were usually devoted to chores and all.

by Anonymousreply 237January 20, 2019 12:40 PM

R234 already happening.

Then again, many of them were "on demand" children that spent too much time alone, and were expected to have every minute of their lives scheduled so that Mommy and Daddy could get a divorce and take them out of their box to play with whenever they wanted. So today's kids already come from dysfunction and brokenness.

by Anonymousreply 238January 20, 2019 12:45 PM

The Frauiest Frau who ever Frau’ed

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by Anonymousreply 239January 20, 2019 2:45 PM

R234 I've heard it called 'virtual autism'. I definitely believe it's real. Kids these days are spending so much time in front of screens (tv, phone, tablet, computer, etc.), as are their parents, that the kids aren't socialized properly and it appears they have autism. They're reliant on electronics, but if the screen time is removed or severely limited, the 'autistic' symptoms go away.

I read that in 1976 1 in 5000 kids was diagnosed with autism and these days it's like 1 in 50 or something like that. I doubt the rate is that high- there's probably a lot of kids in there that don't have it, just don't know how to play like kids did before all these screens were readily available.

by Anonymousreply 240January 20, 2019 3:26 PM

Here’s my third try of posting this. Every time I write a post, the page goes down and I lose it.

I’m R232. I was referring to the pre-war era.

I collect WWII era books about everyday life. Cookbooks, manners, housekeeping, etc. I have a book written by a colonel’s wife during the war. She was giving advice to young Army wives and mothers away from home with little money.

Even then, she empathized getting to know the neighbors, making friends. A lot of her book was about entertaining cheaply. In those days, no one expected women to do everything alone in isolation. Far from it. They were expected to entertain other moms, even if it was just coffee and coffee cake made at home. People did not often have fancy parties with expensive food. They atehot dogs and homemade cake and that was fine. Kids learned to socialize at home, by hanging out with their friends. They ate hamburgers, or maybe just Chex mix.

Nobody expected flowers and candlelight unless it was a fancy occasion. Most of the time entertaining was just ordinary, not special.

by Anonymousreply 241January 20, 2019 4:39 PM

People don’t have social skills because they don’t practice. They don’t entertain because their house isn’t perfect enough, or they don’t have enough money to put out a fancy spread. People used to give the neighbor’s kid a peanut butter sandwich and a glass of milk. The kid had a friend and they had somebody to do things with in person, not on a phone.

One thing about Marie Kondo I do agree with is the idea that you don’t have to have a million things to feel happy. People need to get off this materialism kick. People don’t have the money to keep up with the Joneses any more. The Joneses don’t have any money either, they’re just propping up their lifestyle with credit cards.

Look at all these government workers with their “respectable” jobs living a “respectable” lifestyle. One missing paycheck and they can’t put food in their kids’ mouths. How many handbags and video games do they have? And how much of that materialism is “comfort materialism” to make up for not having enough socializing to quench their anxiety?

The problem we all have is humans are wired to be tribal animals. Trying to get around it doesn’t work well. Even sitting on the phone all day is an attempt to have a tribe, even if you can’t see them in person. Everything we do all day is following our instincts to be in contact with others in some way. Too many people refuse to socialize because they’re afraid others will judge them for being too poor, too fat, having a messy house, or whatever.

A lot of the obesity problems we have are related to not going out and just running around with other people. We are substituting food for socialization. We’re eating comfort food to relieve stress. Hanging out with friends and talking about things relieves stress, but it’s so hard to do, we often don’t do it when we need to.

People would be a lot happier with fewer sofa pillows and more friends over.

by Anonymousreply 242January 20, 2019 4:51 PM

She's Japanese and perfect. You people could learn a lot from her.

by Anonymousreply 243January 20, 2019 6:13 PM

Haven't watched yet, but many find it to be a snooze fest and the only reason to tune in is the husband in the first episode.

by Anonymousreply 244January 20, 2019 8:56 PM

R190

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by Anonymousreply 245January 22, 2019 12:41 AM

I prefer the latin version Marie Kones

by Anonymousreply 246January 22, 2019 12:48 AM

That's a pretty sweet couch at r245. I wouldn't say no to someone trying to give me that.

by Anonymousreply 247January 22, 2019 1:32 AM

Thank you R96! Quickly checked out clutterbug. I like it! She is down to earth, encouraging and gets right to the fucking point! So many YT queens with tutorials are relentless! In trying to serve up a cute persona in quest to be next YT or influencer personality. You’re boring, wasting my time and although I tuned into the tutorial angle, your loathsome personality left me going elsewhere. You’re not cute, witty or the least bit interesting even if your three friends say so. Argh, feels good to let that out!!!

Hey guys!!,

by Anonymousreply 248January 22, 2019 2:37 AM

That first family brought the dulls. If wife said Babe one more time.... Seems she wants to show how cool she is. I thought she wasn’t very nic to husband. Marie said you seem like a fun couple and wife said “I,m fun.” She was on another reality show too. She was lazy and s of indulgent...She certainly had the time to get her hair and eyebrows done to perfection! Also had to point out that she teaches at a college. Oh and how hot she was in our wedding day. Not so hot now when you’re still breast-feeding a five-year-old. Marie s annoying but I admire her.

by Anonymousreply 249January 22, 2019 2:41 AM

Clutter bug is a riot...she gets in and gets it done, god love her, but unhinged and entertaining

by Anonymousreply 250January 22, 2019 3:23 AM

My niece was starting to eat solid food at 9 months. Why is the wife from episode 1 still feeding her screaming 3 year old, “Boobies! Boobies!?”

by Anonymousreply 251January 22, 2019 3:31 AM

Her ideas havve a lot of appeal. The underlying cause of stress is the weight of junk that we’ve collected and can’t manage. We’re overwhelmed by it. Getting a handle on it reduces the stress. She presents a way to get it under control. Americans have overdecorated (I’m looking at my own bedroom right now which has at least a dozen pictures on the wall, and I have 8 pillows on m bed in the morning. It’s pretty). But I keep the clutter in my bedroom to zero.

Her clothes folding is pretty sharp and does force you to get ride of what doesn’t fit. Many of us did this during a “Spring Cleaning” where we’d get rid of old clothes but many of are just weighed down with accumulated decades of closets carmmed with clothes we never wear, won’t ever wear but we’re not willilng to get rid of.

I liked her idea of boxes for the small crap that floats around my bedroom like the umm lotions. Yeah, the many lotions that are next to my bed. It’s a good idea to keep them in a box with a lid. More convenient and less cluttered.

by Anonymousreply 252January 22, 2019 3:53 AM

Am I the only one that thought the show was boring?

I saw the first eoisode and TBH their house didn't look that bad. The clutter seemed to be contained inside the clothing closets and kitchen sink. Also the kids toy area.

But everything else looked organized

The couple was boring. The husband looked like he was ready to divorce the wife - or maybe he's cheating on her already. Something was off with the couple

by Anonymousreply 253January 22, 2019 4:26 AM

Never read her books and have found the series very dull so far for all the reasons outlined here.

I only skipped through two episodes -- the older Japanese couple, and the blonde widow. I could not believe how much stuff the couple was keeping, and there was no effort at making the house more attractive, in the end they just had less ugly stuff in the way. In the other instance, we never saw the woman cleaning what would have been the most interesting and challenging room, her husband's large hoarded office.

The one Kondo tip that has worked for me is the heaping of all the clothes in one pile. I usually declutter one drawer, one closet at a time. But for some reason, I was able to get rid of a lot more by looking at the items in a pile, perhaps because the items are examined in a new light.

But my all time favorite decluttering series is The Life Laundry shot in the UK, shown on BBC America before their content turned to crap, with American organizer Dawna Walter. She got on my nerves at times but her approach I found the most inspiring and life enhancing. I have decluttered my books considerably but hers are keepers and made me toss out truck loads of stuff.

I have only found three episodes on youtube, and here is my favorite, involving antiques and books.

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by Anonymousreply 254January 22, 2019 4:38 AM

The book is so much more entertaining than the show. While the book-keepers and book-tossers of the world are fighting it out and accusing each other of having emotional issues, MK’s seem to be ignored.

In the book she gets into the origins of her cleaning — an inability to trust or feel close to human beings, only items, and being taught by inanimate objects what unconditional love is. And then there’s the turmoil she created within her family (as a self-proclaimed “disposal unit”) by “vengefully pouncing” on anything that wasn’t nailed down and throwing it out, and finally the big MARIE! meltdowns after she’d clean and clean and clean and then lose her mind because things still weren’t clean enough for her. Her solution? Shopping.

“I DON’T WANT TO TIDY ANYMORE!!”

by Anonymousreply 255January 22, 2019 5:56 AM

R255, right on, Kondo is the very definition of a loon, I swear she’s heavily medicated and doesn’t seem a bit interested in what’s going on fully, really discomforting.

by Anonymousreply 256January 22, 2019 6:15 AM

She seems like every female Japanese host I've ever watched on television, though.

by Anonymousreply 257January 22, 2019 8:08 AM

The gay couple had a beautiful story about their first date - one came back from the bathroom, kissed the other one and they shacked up for the entire weekend, cancelling all previous plans. They seemed so in love tho I'm sure they're both on Grindr.

by Anonymousreply 258January 22, 2019 11:55 AM

R232. The last time I saw milk delivered was 1964. Diaper service still existed until the late 1960s but Pampers killed that off. Even in states with Blue Laws, you could buy disposable diapers on Sundays.

Neither my mother nor my grandmother ever had anyone to help them cook or clean: that’s popular folklore. Very few people could afford that. My grandmother had a washing machine with a wringer until she got her “modern” set - and a dryer. That was a big deal. You want fancy? A dryer was the SHIT.

No dishwashers, no microwaves. No non-stick cookware. No fancy appliances. No computers, no gadgets. One bathroom. The one television was a 19” black and white Admiral.

Groceries? For Grandma, we picked up stuff from the corner Mom & Pop or took a BUS to the grocery. Mom and Dad did the shopping on Saturday morning - after we clipped a bunch of coupons and split the shopping between two groceries based on the coupons: IGA and Del Monte. Grocery budget was $50 a week.

This means we made a lot of stuff from scratch. My sisters and I learned to bake as small children.

by Anonymousreply 259January 23, 2019 1:40 AM

R232, probably not the housekeepers, but you have a cogent point. Tv shows made it seem typical to have an Alice or Mabel, around. I nevertheless knew of family who had hired help. But, married women were often unemployed, a family could subsist on one income...try that now! Lack of family members around to help, you could walk to run errands, or pick up basic groceries at corner stores etc. kids were not as supervised as now...bigger families, older kids helped and they could run around neighborhood. Not so much now.

by Anonymousreply 260January 23, 2019 3:38 AM

Wife babe from episode 1 really, really, really wants to set the record straight about husband babe. Also, the “laundry gal” hasn’t been back.

[quote]He’s super helpful, and they didn’t show all that on the show. Things like him doing the dishes more than I do.

[quote]But I think something that was taken out of context was that he expects me to do things. He’s never been like that. I wouldn’t be with someone like that.

[quote]We did have some close friends who would send me screenshots of comments about Kevin, and our friends would say, like, "Laughing my ass off ... if they only knew he did all the dishes at the house."

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by Anonymousreply 261January 23, 2019 9:36 PM

“But I think something that was taken out of context is that he expects me to do things.”

Shouldn’t you expect your partner to do things?

by Anonymousreply 262January 23, 2019 10:09 PM

Meh. I'd rather watch "Pink Lady and Jeff."

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by Anonymousreply 263January 24, 2019 2:38 AM

Is anyone still watching teehee? Is it sparking joy in your lives? Is Rachel from Friends still feeding her school-age kids boobies?

by Anonymousreply 264January 24, 2019 11:09 PM

She seems to be about getting rid of YOUR junk, so you can buy HER junk, IE: her storage systems. How absurd.

Fuck her, she's yet another 'influencer' and grifter.

Are people really this stupid?

by Anonymousreply 265January 24, 2019 11:26 PM

Taiwan is jumping on the bandwagon with [italic]Tidying Up with EVA Air.[/italic]

I've seen the pilot and trust me, you'd be wise to skip it.

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by Anonymousreply 266January 24, 2019 11:29 PM

[quote]Are people really this stupid?

Didn't you hear about the 2016 Presidential election? It was in all the papers.

by Anonymousreply 267January 25, 2019 2:24 AM

Kondo’s a Kunt!

by Anonymousreply 268January 25, 2019 4:51 AM

Yiiikes, Maria is even bothering celebrities!

Poor Hasan!

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by Anonymousreply 269January 29, 2019 4:55 AM

Through a combo of the KonMarie method and UFYH, I'm confident I can get most of my house in order. My two biggest problems are dealing with papers and putting laundry away as soon as it comes out of the dryer, but that stuff's manageable once you get a handle on it. I don't collect tchotchkes or superfluous things.

My REAL problem is digital clutter. Do any of you know of a website or book that addresses digital clutter? I open tabs and download random image files like a hoarder, and can't bring myself to close or delete anything. I'm overwhelmed whenever I turn on my computer. Every few years it crashes and I lose all my open Chrome tabs but inevitably the process starts up again.

by Anonymousreply 270January 29, 2019 11:13 PM

I'm throwing out some mugs today that crazed when I made pourover coffee in them. I really like the way they looked, so I haven't wanted to get rid of them. But they bring me more anxiety than joy, so see ya, mugs. It's not like I don't have a dozen others.

by Anonymousreply 271January 30, 2019 3:31 PM

R261

[quote]But I think something that was taken out of context was that he expects me to do things. He’s never been like that. I wouldn’t be with someone like that.

A husband *expecting* his stay-at-home wife to *do things*?!

by Anonymousreply 272March 18, 2019 12:02 PM

R270, buy an external HD, copy any files you want to save on that. Some of your people sound like children who need their hands held 24/7. It's a miracle some of you even get out of bed.

I'm a graphic designer, I work from home. Part of my job is retaining all the image and art files I need for my work. After I receive them from my accounts, I immediate put them on my external HDs.

There are very simple solutions to many basic clutter problems.

Have problem with papers piling up? Don't buy newspapers, books etc, read them online. Don't want other paper clutter such a bills, go paperless and deal with them online. I have my basic monthly bills on Autopay, though, I still ask for a monthly statement because sometimes the credit card websites are down and I simply want 'paper proof' at my end.

by Anonymousreply 273March 18, 2019 12:57 PM

Ahhh fuck r27 there goes my morning

by Anonymousreply 274March 18, 2019 2:50 PM

R270 I heard some ideas in a program meant to help high schoolers with prob of tab clutter

- each morning open a word doc where u can paste every link you’ve kept open, so you can go back & find whatever you might want, or

- create folders within your bookmarks & save everything instead of keeping open - you could even name folders by date if it’s a daily deluge

I’ve never bothered with either of these, I just shut down everything I’ve had open (often 30-40 tabs) at once without looking back at them & haven’t ever regretted it

by Anonymousreply 275March 18, 2019 2:57 PM
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