Lisa Lampanelli retires from comedy! Will do self-help tours mainly focusing on health & body issues

Comedy retired from Lisa long before.

Ok

Because Trump is doing her act now?

LA HU MAN EEE TAY !!!!!

To be honest I thought she retired ages ago. The last big thing I saw her in was playing the villain in her season of The Apprentice and then being a Weight Watchers spokesperson (which I thought was an odd choice for her to do since her stand up act was so smutty and racist with her "It's ok for me to say that, because I like big black cooooooock!").

Did Lisa ever talk about her experience on the Apprentice? Does she admit, or claim, that it ruined her career or something like that?

R5 Whoopi also never gave a damn about her weight but did Weight Watchers. I’m sure the commercials offer big fat paychecks, and the Oreos will be waiting once the contract is up.

Lisa about Trump during Celebrity Apprentice

[quote] “I was 248 pounds at the time,” the comedian recalled, saying, “I know he’s not going to notice me, [but] I remember him saying ‘Teresa [Giudice] you look beautiful today,’ ‘Aubrey [O’Day] you look better with every passing week’ and one day he says to me ‘Lisa!’ and [I think], ‘Oh, it’s my turn,’ and he goes, ‘Doesn’t Teresa look beautiful today?'”

She was more attractive before the weight loss surgery

R8 To be fair, Teresa IS distractingly beautiful. Look at this picture of elegance. It stirs the soul.

Lisa was a success in the corporate world before entering comedy.

She’s actually very well-educated. She’s best friends with Frank Decaro.

Frank!? Oh, well, that changes everything!

She seems manic or something. I'm not a fan of LL 2.0. But then again she's retired from comedy so there's nothing to be a fan of anymore.

What a terrible plug for her new show at the end of that clip. In order to find out more about Lisa's new show we have to go to Wendy.com?? Why not just fucking tell us which station and time it's on like you do for all the others, bitch.

Hate to say it, but some people just look better fat...

Like Oprah and Al Roker, some people just look better with some weight.

Is Lisa a lesbian now?

That outfit is horrif.

I hated her comedy act. Simply tried to shock. It was facile. "I love black cock" etc. I get so tired of those comedy acts like that and the audience feels like they are supposed to laugh because "wow she really doesn't give a damn". Whatever.

she looks terrible and on wendy she was dressed like a 19 yo extra from A Different World. WTF

Like Star Jones and Al Roker, Lisa was better when she was fat.

Sorry going a bit off topic here.

There is something about losing weight that makes you look a million years older. I just saw Finding Your Feet (a delightful dramedy about two elderly sisters played by Imelda Staunton and Celia Imrie) and Timothy Spall looked like death warmed over. Very unsettling.

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I saw a couple of her stand-up specials several years ago, when she was engaged but before she lost the weight, and every single one of them were the same formula: nasty racist or homophobic joke, followed by "oh hey, it's just a joke, it's all in good fun." Tiresome.

Oh goodness gracious, I'm so very glad they beeped every second word in R23's clip! My dainty, childlike ears couldn't have handled the reality of the situation! Instead I'll just go on wondering WTF she was actually saying.

I thought she might make a good replacement for Roseanne, made-over more frumpy.

Her haircut is funnier than anything she could ever say so time to move on.

So YES, the Women's Studies Major makeover proves she IS A DYKE, and all that fucking around with black guys was merkin-disguising nonsense.

Just like Rosie O'Donnel LOVED Tom Cruise!

About the self-help tours, who does she appeal to? Who would go see her for that purpose?

She has cane face, and now looks rather butch or androgynous with her hair like that.

It's not surprising she is on the pyramid scheme of self help, dieting, etc. Closeted Oprah has done this for decades!

She's going to lecture people about having life threatening surgery in order to lose weight like she did? How inspiring!

She was so vulgar and unfunny I never watched her comedy routine again. I admire people who change careers so maybe her self help guruism will be better.

Agree with R19/ R32 She opens her mouth and rubbish falls out. I found her sexually objectifying black men as crass and tasteless. Whether or not it is racist, I'll leave up to black people to decide. If I were black I would detest her even more. All that aside, she was never funny.

First saw her via her “Queen of Mean” special, initially thought she was brash and funny. But she was truly a nasty cunt on “Celebrity Apprentice”, especially to the stunning Miss Universe winner who was a fellow contestant on the show. I’ve never thought of Lampanelli the same way since, but had no idea she was as unhinged as the video at R23 reveals. YIKES!

Time has passed her stand-up career by. She's way too un-pc and she's too old for it. Time for a switch and she's selling it as a life choice.

She was a head banger back in the day. She rides cultural waves in her careers.

The only thing I envy about her is that she worked for SPY magazine at one time.

I remember Joan Rivers calling her out for being unfunny and how every joke ends up being about how much she "loves black cock."

She stole her whole act from Don Rickles and Andrew Dice Clay while never achieving their success.

Why was objectifying and fetishsizeing black men such a huge part of her stand-up routine?

She was an insult comedienne who picked this particular genre, because she loved growing up watching these roasts where celebs insulted each other and could laugh at themselves and with each other and still had a great time without it being awkward because someone was deeply offended.

Lisa Lampanelli, like Amy Schumer and Lens HATES the fact that she’s so ugly. Every waking moment of her life, deep down, is hating other women for attracting male attention that she has no hope in hell of attracting. Ugly white women are a whole other level of psycho. I refer you to local DL celebrity, Poo Shoes, as living proof. Let this end Lisa’s career for good.

Thanks for weighing in, Lisa.

Is life coach still a thing?

I'm convinced that the only good career move for Lampanelli is death.

[quote]every joke ends up being about how much she "loves black cock." She stole her whole act from Don Rickles

Don Rickles liked black cock?

so she's the new Susan Powter?

R39, that theory about Lampanelli was strongly suggested during her time on “Celebrity Apprentice” — she was awful to Miss Universe, alternately ignoring her and consdescedning to her, all the while trashing her behind her back. To her credit, Miss Universe didn’t let on that Lampanelli was getting to her — I’d read later that she had previously been abducted (!) so nasty jabs from a fat bitch like Lampanelli were probably a minor annoyance to her.

[quote] Don Rickles liked black cock?

Sorry, I meant she stole her whole insult comedy shtick from Rickles, not the actual content she used in her jokes.

R37 I guess she thought she was being shocking by being racist, even though she used the excuse she is a chocolate/dinge queen.

Doesn’t surprise me r45. It’s those women who vote Trump, try to be one of the boys, claim that they can’t stand “girlie shit”, and equate stupid with good looking. Most of the good looking people I know are quite nice and well adjusted. It’s the uggos that are nasty and awful.