Weirdest Toys From When You Were A Kid

Little glass dolls, I loved them.

Vulture turds. They ate my family after the militia pillaged our village and raped and/or murdered most of the inhabitants.

This was certainly odd- a muscle doll wearing a Speedo, that you could stretch into many different positions. Hmmm.

My Buddy

When I was little I remember being creeped out by this doll I saw while shopping, I think it was called Baby Looks Around or Baby Looksy or some variation but its gimmick was that its eyes would move but the problem was that its eyes bulged out so much that it looked like it had been strangled until its eyes were practically popping out.

I guess they are kind of creepy.

this I received for Christmas one year

Shrinky Dinks -yes that's what it was called. And it wasn't related to speedos in cold water either.

I make my own toys.

garbage pail kids

R3 - that is Stretch-Armstrong- loved that toy!

This toy definitely had a creepy vibe, but I loved it nonetheless. Mine didn't last long, unfortunately; it was really easy for a 7-year-old to lose all the different mustaches and moles and things that you glued on to give Hugo a different look....

Not creepy but dangerous as hell - essentially a heating coil for a 7 year old - and the plastics dinosaurs were hot as fuck when you took them out. Quickly figured out to dunk them in water. Loved playing with it. Also often burned myself with the Creepy Crawlers Thingmaker and my wood burning set.

So many ways to get hurt

Literally creepy and dangerous: Creepy Crawlers. Plastic bus you’d make on a heated tray with some sort of toxic liquid.

Super Elastic Bubble Plastic: a tube of multicolored liquid rubbery goo that emitted cancer-causing fumes as you used it to blow colorful balloons.

What about stuffed 💩?

I had a chemistry set, a geology set, an electronics project set, a crystals and light set, a microscope set, a telescope set, even an Atomic Energy Lab that contained small samples of both uranium and radium - both radioactive.

Dolls we made ourselves, out of dust mites and human hair.

Flatsies, a doll that was flat. Every guy of a certain age who had an older sister sang the song to them "You're flat and that's that. And that's that."

R14 I had that!

The Blythe doll: Funko meets Bride of Chucky

Bag o’ Glass

Banned!

I had the Stretch Monster that went with Stretch Armstrong but I was a bad combination of curious and destructive as a child so one day my curiosity got the better of me and I stabbed him with an ink pen so see what was inside that made him just so stretchy.

Lawn Darts!

What could possibly go wrong?!?

I had a Planet Of The Apes make up kit. (Or maybe it wasn’t connected to the movie, but it had the same look.) You poured silicone into molds to make the various appliances and then glued them to your face and put black makeup all over everything. Last but not least, you had a fur "hood" that covered your hair and the back of your head. It was unbelievably complicated and if you wanted to do it more than once you had to mail order more silicone. I wish I could find a picture of it.

[quote] then glued them to your face and put black makeup all over everything.

Perfectly acceptable.

Rock tumblers were such a joy to make homemade jewelery in the 70s.

A Barbie doll whose boobs became bigger when I turned her arm.

R30, was that Gym Teacher Barbie

Incredible Edibles.

These^^

No...it was called "Growing Up Skipper".

"Odd Ogg / Odd Ogg / Half turtle and half frog"

R35, is that Mitch MCConnell?

A Baby Joey doll. It had a little penis. Which my friend Jennifer bit clean off. Yes, I really owned this. It was the 70s and my parents were progressive.

Mister Machine. I begged and pleaded for this as a Christmas gift. I never got it.

If you page through the comments on Youtube for Mister Machine you'll see that Mrspatrickcampbell had a question about the toy. Seven years ago.

I wanted this so badly one Christmas, I actually had two family members buy it for me. Basically, it made whistles out of flavored Tootsie Rolls. Kinda bizarre, but to this day, I prefer vanilla and fruit-flavored Tootsie Rolls to the chocolate ones (when I can find them).

R29. I was cleaning out parents' house and came across old toys from my youth. Yes I am 50. Found old rock tumbler. Can you imagine kids today waiting a month for a polished tumbled rock??!!

Some relative gave my sister a "SPANK ME - I CRY" doll. My mother hated it and called it WHIP ME, I WELT.

30 years ago I was in a toy store at a mall and saw a doll that giggled/laughed when tossed playfully into the air. The manufacturer must have been French Canadian because the packaging was primarily in French with English translations scattered throughout.

One of the English phrases read: “Doll laughs when you throw up!”

This was the perfect toy if you wanted to smash your Action Man (G.i. Joe) doll into small pieces. The parachute never opened.

R42 I love your mother.

R40 I love the vanilla Tootsie Rolls. They mix very nicely with the orange ones to make a creamsicle flavor in your mouth. They have bags of them at the dollar store sometimes.

R18, what did you grow up to be?

[quote] One of the English phrases read: “Doll laughs when you throw up!”

I love that.

[quote] R18, what did you grow up to be?

You know him as Blofeld, code name Number 1.

I had a battery powered animatronic skull that you stuck worms and things on. It was like a Mr. Potato Head, but huge and a skull and it moved and lights would shine out of it and it made creepy noises. The jaw would open and close and the eyes would loudly pivot. My memory is that each time you pressed the button, the movement/noise/lights only lasted for maybe 30 seconds. I distinctly remember getting this for Christmas, unwrapping it, squinting in confusion and looking at my father like he was insane.

My cousins had a game that consisted of a rice bowl containing smooth plastic shapes (cubes, cones, balls, etc.). You first wound up the rice bowl on a turntable then each player used two plastic chop sticks to grab as many of the shapes as you could before the bowl stopped turning. What a frustrating game to play! On the good side, I'm now quite proficient using chop sticks.

Toys didn't get really weird until the late 70s

R50, I bet you also liked Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tifanny’s.

[R50], I bet you also liked Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

A Toot Sweet was the first thing I ever bought at a garage sale - I was around 10.

I got Tumble Stones for my birthday & dutifully read all the directions - added rocks, grit & water to the canister - and set it up in my room. In addition to the loud motor there was also the sound of the rocks sloshing around endlessly.

Sometime during the night my mother loudly opened my door. “How long does that thing need to stay on?” “Two months.” “No it doesn’t” and she pulled the plug out of the wall. Timble Stones was relocated to the garage and I had to unplug it at night.

So four months. But the rocks did come out shiny!

R54 wasn't a Toot Sweet also in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?

I, also, had a pet mushroom that I kept on a shelf with some figurines. It never rotted. I would peel the outer layer of skin off of it every so often to keep it clean and white.

Hi, also!

R49, were pet mushrooms sold, or did you get a mushroom and decide to have it as a pet?

r58, Oh I just asked for it when we were at the grocery store. When my father was moving to a different apartment he asked me if I wanted to pack my mushroom and I said 'no' and I regret it to this day.

Cabbage patch doll scary as f***

These

R55 - “Toot Sweet” was a musical number in Chitty Chitty Bamg Bang - but in the movie they were defective hard candy sticks that worked as flutes. You can see on the picture of the box above that the toy was a tie-in but it made whistle shaped whistles - which did bug me as a kid because they weren’t like the ones in the movie.

I had a friend who said the subtexts of Chitty Chitty are completely Jungian while Charlie & the Chocolate Factory is purely Freudian.

R59, you seem like you have a good dad?

R59, you seem like you have a good dad.

r63. I did. He died last year.

Who else had “Green Ghost” and “Kabala” the two glow in the dark occult toys from the wonderfully named Transogram?

It took forever to set up

[Quote] I distinctly remember getting this for Christmas, unwrapping it, squinting in confusion and looking at my father like he was insane.

That would've been my reaction too.

There was a late 70’s tv production of “You Can’t Take It With You” with the human skull candy dish gag. I mentioned as we watched how cool it would be to have one.

That Christmas mom gave me a plastic anatomic skull model. I hinged the cranium & had my wish.

Thanks Mom!!

R23:

You forgot "Johnny Human Torch."