Datalounge University!

Master of Arts in Blind Itemry with a Minor in French

Every gay should have access to a smattering of French.

Shakesqueer!

Bachelor of Thrist in Instahoe Studies.

A Master in Bates

[quote]Bachelor of Arts in Celebrity Twink Studies

Capstone course: The Rise and Demise of Colton Haynes

Frau Studies

Colto

A B.A. in bare assing.

Greek Culture.

I'd much rather matriculate at DLU than at Trump U.

Medical studies of course.

What would be the name of our sportsball teams?

PhD. in Anal Bleaching

Goes without saying, r11.

R13 - Ladyboy Lacrosse League

JD in Topping.

PhD in Presenting Hole

Bachelor of Computer Science with a focus on Propaganda Science, a research exchange program conducted at the St. Petersburg, Russia campus.

Master of Sizemeat Verificatia

MFA in Fashion Design with a concentration in Earrings, Caftans

An Associates Degree in Club Jumping and Bar Hopping

A study of the anthropological origins of gypsies, whores and thieves and their relationship to the music of body sculpted and botox embalmed drag queens of the mid 20th century

PhD in Tasteful Friendliness

BS in making up shit and passing it off as true

Glory Hole Praticum - attendance obligatory.

Can you date someone outside your major or in another program? What’s the used textbook market like?

I've never been to a gloryhole, nor had sex anywhere that stank of shit and piss, in my life.

Bachelor in Aquatic Biology with a specialty in stinkfish

Masters in the Fine Arts of Fisting

A Bachelor of Science degree for fucking the hunky Biology professor.

Geography of the Self

R28 - You special fresh thing.

Does Anne L Lingus, MD teach anything?

Dorm life!

A TA in T&A.

DLU's main competitor is Miss Lindsey's Finishing School.

R28 Gloryhole Practicum is REQUIRED. This is not a negotiation. Datalounge University is not "sparkle pony special snowflake u". We have standards, our reputation. and history, and we transmit REAL knowledge and skills. You do the Practicum or you leave this school.

Doctorate Emeritus of Surprise Anal

Come up to the lab and see what's on the slab!

A Doctoral Thesis on Down-Low Hook-Up Jizz Dribblers

R38 has a certificate in stating boundaries.

[quote]Miss Lindsey's Finishing School.

Could we please drop "Miss Lindsey"? She permanently relinquished her right to be thought of as funny.

Shawn Mendes 101 through 117.

Campus Crusade For Nutsack

Worlds largest anal probe accelerator, designed by Dr. Degrasse Tyson and Annie Sprinkle, Visiting Professor.

[quote] see what's on the slab!

Your little girl. Tickles doesn’t it?

Advanced Studies in Fashion Merchandising & Marketing.

The Caitlyn Jenner Women's Studies Department

Fascist Iconography. This is in the core curriculum, along with History of Table Settings.

Advanced Anal Hygiene.

Advanced Anal Hygiene is a non-credit continuing ed course, open to undergraduate of course, handled by the campus Sexual Health and Fluid Gender and Sexuality Clinic.

Does anyone know which course Professor Kavanaugh is teaching this semenester?

R43 Lets not drop it yet, I want my credits from Graham's "Comportment and The Art of The Dainty Phrase" course to transfer over.

80s & 90s Pop Music Masters Program: Madonna v. Janet Jackson

Special guest instructor Janbot

He was let go.

some of the cross content would, of course, be with the arts program: home decor design (for tasteful friends), photography (for the insta-hos), gay history (non-SJW colorization) and, as stated above, grammar and literature courses for those interested in the full Ph. D.

The medical courses would of course be another program of study.....reserved for the WHORES!

Live Figure Drawing with Sean O'Pry

Semester course on the origins of the word CUNT and it's uses in everyday parlance.

Non-binary studies.

Soon Yi Previn teaches a special master course called Heavy Cunting.

Bachelor's of Science in Zoo Buying

Bachelor's of Art in Concern Trolling

MFA in Elaborate Scenarios taught by Distinguished Professor Dumvida P. Shoes

MFA in Olivia de Havilland

MFA in The Art of Pearl Clutching

MD in The Getting and Giving of The Vapors *Please note all Students admitted into the The Vapors program are required to be proficient in administering Smelling Salts

PhD in the Art of Let's B with special emphasis in:

- Old Movies

- Early U.S. Television 1920-1960's

-- Concentration offered in Vivian Vance

- Modern U.S Television and Film 1970- 2000's

- Camp Media

* Note that any student who proposes a thesis on any Ryan Murphy media will be dismissed from the program without exceptions.

- Everyday Observations

- Occupational Environments

- Social Gatherings

-- Concentrations in : Cooking and Parties, Frau Events, and Holidays

Aunt Bunny School of Shady Linguistics and Light Readings of African American Origins

The Vegan Organic Cafeteria in the ALL FEMALE Dormitory, Winfrey Hall, is open to all genders and in betweeners. We regret the we are unable to accommodate trans as residents in Winfrey Hall, though we remind the student (non-gendered) body that all genders and Inbetweeners are permitted to rush every Fraternity and Sorority charted to operate on campus. With the exception of Alpha Douche, which, due to the endowment gift of 200 million dollars, remains open only to humans possessing a 7 to 9 inch penis and cock-sucking lips.

Brain Anatomy, with a focus on the brain of Sinead O'Connor, and an attempt to forecast neuron firing patterns and mechanisms that may help predict her outrageous cunting behaviour.

An extra module, with double credits, is available in investigation potential neuro-toxicity from her multiple tattoos.

I'd be very happy to offer a course in "The Taylor Hanson Scarf Tying Technique" if there's enough interest. Prerequisite: "Ikebana Arrangement and The Nordic Sailor, Pre-Ikea Era".

I'm signed up for a class in modeling in clay with Professor Minnelli.

We remind the student (non-gendered) body that smoking is not only permitted in the Arno Breker Marble Pantheon coffee-tea-hookah lounge, tobacco and shisha is free of charge, thanks to a large donation from the heirs of Shakhbut bin Sultan Al Nahyan, founding father of Abu Dhabi and Datalounge University alumnus.

[quote] Inbetweeners

Datalounge University is pleased to announce generous seven-figure donations from the Bryan SInger and David Geffen foundations to endow the Men's crew, wrestling, water polo and ultimate frisbee teams. All practices and home games will be in the nude, and generous summer internships offered to our world class young and virile undergraduate athletes.

R43. Do you own stock in Mediaoplis or are you a managing employee? If not then perhaps refrain from trying to dictate to posters their parameters for posting.

Associate's Degree in Caftan and Earring Design, Crafting, and Marketing

There are local artisanal yellow brick and Portuguese pink marble paths on the main quad.

You can graduate Smegma Cum Loudly.

R71 That's our new Professor of Cunt-down Management, based on Six Sigma efficiency. He's the industry leader in trimming excess fun from the supply chain with strategically placed cunt-downs.

Summer course in pearl clutching, vapor swooning, fainting couch collapsing, and mint julep grabbing without spilling a single drop.

B.F.A. in Boofing

All freshman dorm showers are communal. There is an exchange dance and twerk programme with Eastern European and Russian agricultural and military colleges.

Doctorate in Advanced Crime Scene Cover-ups

Our School of Hospitality Management is proud to announce our new Certificate program in Bathhouse Administration.

Rather than reflecting social prestige, the top and bottom fraternities are, respectively, for tops and bottoms.

Losers.

I WENT TO YALE!!!

Free vaginal deodorizer for all.

Gaydar Refresher Course

Homecoming Queen

Our Comparative Cinema program allows you to delve deeply into the oeuvre of Sean Cody, Chaos Men, and Corbin Fisher.

Mandatory Student Health Insurance fully reimburses Truvada, anal wart lasering, anal bleaching, dermatology, HGH and steroids, and maintenance and cosmetic dentistry.

Applicants must submit head shots and nudes. Need Blind financial aid does not cover fatties.

Affiliated with the Copacabana School of Dramatic Art.

Sociology Capstone: The Eldergay Experience

Advanced Mathamatics in Age Subtraction

R90, is that taught by Catherine Zeta Jones?

Corn served at all meals in the dining halls.

GAR202 (also MIN202 for students of the College of Chemistry and Pharmacology) - The Most Talented Singers Ever

With department chair permission, Physics, Mathematics and Psychology majors can take this course in lieu of, respectively, LUF101 - The Visible Spectrum; LUF202- Shapes That Are Not Circles; and LUF202 - Childhood Sexual Abuse.

Note that GAR202 (MIN202) is a Fundamental course and, as such, a prerequisite for 400-level biochemistry courses.

Most popular course: Nipple Placement 101

Most prestigious research specialty: Farrow family genealogy

Core curriculum class: FRAUS - Their origins, legacy, and current bearing on gaykind.

RTS 2030 - Reality TV Studies: Who Gon Check Me Boo and Season 2 of the Real Housewives of Atlanta

GCC 3003 - Glass Closeted Celebrities: The evolution of Anderson Cooper

I can't believe no one has mentioned the Master of Bitchery program. You can specialize in pointless bitchery OR pointed bitchery. Something for everyone.

Oh, uh … ahem … "there's something for everyone, CUNTS!"

Sizemologist cum laude

The sportsball team is called the Red Dragons.

The DL Peabody Award for Creative Writing

Online Bachelor's in Mug Cradling, for those who are too tender to the touch to attend classrooms.

Dining Etiquette 101

What is the curriculum of courses that must be completed in order to a degree at DataLounge University?

Confirmed Bachelor's Degree in DataLounge General Studies - Core requirements

Physical Education 101 - Passing for 10 years younger than your age

Math 101 - Approximating your age, weight, and height for your Grindr profile

English 101 - Composition: Editing ("Oh, dear")

English 102 - Fiction: How to spot it in a thread's OP

Biology 101 - Bisexuality: does it really exist?

Sociology 101 - Cut or Uncut? Circumcision practices around the world

Music 101 - Modern and Contemporary artist appreciation (from Garland to Streisand to Perry)

Media 101 - The Golden Girls: Perfection of the Television Sitcom

Media 102 - Gay porn: Art reflects life? The roles of the top and bottom.

Don't forget Anatomy 101:Anaylze This Ass.

R104 here...I flunked DL English 101.

Oh, dear...

What did you fuck up, R104/R105?

He misspelled "analyze". Really, now. How can you get those first four letters wrong?

R105, you haven't failed yet. There's an option of an oral exam during finals week.

I'm three credits short of graduating, who can I...I mean what can I do to make that up?

Masters of Swallows

Art of the Tuck and Tape

Dickmatization Studies Certificate Program - Dr Alexyss K. Tylor, instructor

Degrees of Shock, Outrage and Professional Pearl Clutching

Confirmed Bachelor degrees

(The Fun) History of Slaves

I would like to enroll in Advanced Penis Studies

During the graduation ceremony, graduates will march to an instrumental version of Katy Perry's "Firework". Those who graduate "cum load" will be permitted to wear a silk scarf over their gown. Gowns will be open in the back, similar to hospital gowns.

R13 the Prideful Presenters

Missionary Position PrEP Courses

R116, "Fundamentals of Penis" is a prerequisite for that course. However, based on your personal experience, this requirement may be waived by special permission of the instructor.

All our professors are hole-ier-than-thou!

Even though students are adult age (many of them are over 60, in fact), DL university practices corporal punishment, which is often administered by the instructor in the classroom. Other students are invited to participate in the lesson.

Membership in a Greek organization is mandatory. Fraternity hazing is encouraged.

The Tammy Cruise endowment for advanced studies in nude wrestling.

All restroom stalls will have a two-inch diameter hole to the right of the toilet paper dispenser. To keep tuition costs low, divider walls have been omitted between urinals.

All students are required to take Art 101, Male Nude Figure Drawing, or Art 102, Sculpture of the Nude Male. The course may be repeated for credit.

Study abroad program In Darfur.

During the first half of the semester, students will stay with local families while studying culture and language alongside other students and group leaders. During the second half of the term, students will spread out and move to a more remote area to begin their work on a volunteer service project dedicated to helping the local village.

A history of cockgobbling in the US Congress, with Professor Schock.

During Parents Week, the Sugar Daddy meet-and-greet will be held in the dining hall.

Mary!ing Into Money - Get You Man

The Lesbian Student Potluck has been canceled due to low registration. Also, there is a nationwide shortage on hummus at the moment.

The East Dorm for Straight Women will reopen after renovations are complete in August. The dorm has been expanded to accommodate the 300% increase in straight-women attendance rates over the past few years.

A room has been reserved at the adjacent Quality Inn for the straight male who has enrolled.

U-Haul Franchise Management

Comparative Studies in Modern American Cinema: M vs G

[quote] A room has been reserved at the adjacent Quality Inn for the straight male who has enrolled.

Speaking of adjacent, are there minority scholarships available for white adjacent students?

At what time is chapel?

Wrestling tryouts will be held throughout the month of November. The tryouts last all month long because wrestling is the most popular sport at DLU. Even if you don't make the team, you're guaranteed to have a blast just trying out.

R136, DLU does not award scholarships. If you have financial needs, you are encouraged to attend the Sugar Daddy meet-and-greet in the dining hall.

My fraternity adopted a Darfur Orphan- and we had a fundraiser to help find the Missing Gap Playlist from Oct 2001.

R137, there is no chapel on campus. If you need spiritual fulfillment, you may take the party bus to one of the local churches. The local Catholic Church has a College Confessional night with free dinner every Wednesday.

R140, that's no exchange student! That's the new French professor. Please return him to the Visiting Professor's House on campus.

Certificate in Women's Aesthetic Critique from Eldergay Beauty College and Fashion Institute Night School.

Sorry R142 - we’re having a Kegger and running a train on him right now. Will return him in the morning.

British History Internship opportunity in London. Stay with a former member of the current British Royal Family. Take notes for her, schedule appointments for her, and carry her luggage. Pretend to be her date. Once a month, you'll be permitted to enter one of the palaces for five minutes to take a selfie.

Throwing Shade: Honing 'Resting Bitch Face'

While you're completing your studies, would you like to drive a new luxury car and take expensive vacations while working from home? Join us on the Quad for ThriveFit night. Free patches for the first 100 attendees!

Does it seem like transfer students are taking over the campus and erasing us? Come to our rally. (We have one every damn night.) Learn how to attend other events and overtake the topic with your anti-transfer messages.

Biology 102 Keeping the Mussy Moist.

Sociology102 Cage Meat and penmanship.

Offered through the Religion and Phys Ed Departments: How To Attain Transcendence Through Getting Ass Fucked, taught by Professor Toni Bentley

Offered through Phys Ed Department: Basic Ballet taught by Professor Chase Findlay

GAY 580: Graduate Seminar in Interdisciplinary Studies

[bold]The Red Weirdo: Miss Joan Crawford as Consumerist Ideal[/bold]

Students will analyze Miss Crawford's late-1960s promotional video about supermarkets, co-sponsored by Pepsi and The Food Industry. They will also participate in directed close readings from her lifestyle magnum opus, [italic]My Way of Life,[/italic] in addition to preparing recipes from the book for peer review and applying her advice for becoming more fragrant and charming in their everyday lives.

The seminar culminates in a final project consisting of a glamorous dinner party. Points will be deducted for wrinkled evening wear, using regular sausage instead of Spanish sowsage for the appetizer course, not following Miss Crawford's meatloaf recipe [italic]to the letter,[/italic] and the discovery of dirty surfaces lurking beneath potted plants.

B.S. in Inhuman Studies, with a minor in Sub-Human Studies...with honours, goes without mentioning.

Where's AYB?

GAY 590 Pointless Bitchery

R154, are you acquainted with R97?

r155, apparently not.

GAY 600 Capstone in Cuntery

Who is the current holder of the Pepsi-Cola Chair of Sociology?

And more importantly who endowed it so well?

Which DLU professors have won IgNobel Prizes and in which categories?

There is a Robert Mapplethorpe endowed chair who did major research in Dildology who was doing major research who has never published. It is rumored to be monumental but surprisingly it is peer reviewed and is ready for submission.

[quote]Who is the current holder of the Pepsi-Cola Chair of Sociology?

Dr. Amy Bishop

Final exam: The 20th Century began on April 15, 1912 and ended on July 16, 1999. Discuss.

(We Bought A) Zoology course registrations are now open.

Sufficiency 101 - Ad libitum line delivery in contemporary conversation.

It's a bit old-fashioned but the intro course "How to be a Lady" taught by the Senatrice is really good.

I’m liking this “bought a zoo” / Vivian Vance person.

Roll over, Tchaikovsky! Russian popular music and post-Soviet homosexuality.

This is actually a real "queer studies "book. Talk about living in an ivory tower. Amico should be Provost of DL University

"Centered on the musical experiences of gay men in St. Petersburg and Moscow, this ground-breaking study examines how post-Soviet popular music both informs and plays off of a corporeal understanding of Russian male homosexuality.

Drawing upon ethnography, musical analysis, and phenomenological theory, Stephen Amico argues that the gay body in post-Soviet Russia rejects both the Soviet aversion to physical pleasure and the Western politicization of sexuality. Instead, both listeners and performers turn to popular music for a framework within which they can experience an embodied sense of sexuality, the self, and intersubjectivity.

Roll Over, Tchaikovsky! Russian Popular Music and Post-Soviet Homosexuality begins with an expert technical analysis of Russian rock, pop, and estrada music, dovetailing into an illuminating discussion of gay men's physical reception and uses of music. The book outlines how Russian homophobia and gender systems interact (often inconsistently) with popular music. Performers sustain a delicate literal and physical dance with cultural expectations. Amico argues that performers use song lyrics, physical movements, images of women, drag, and sexualized male bodies as tools and tropes to implicitly or explicitly express sexual orientation through performance. Finally, he uncovers how these performances help gay Russian men to create their own social spaces and selves, in meaningful relation to others with whom they share a "nontraditional orientation.""

Master of Fine Art of Misogyny Minor in Food Sciences (advanced Pasta Draining)

The student servicing center has a Bai Ling Roof Garden.

That’s it, I’m going to enroll today and get my Master of Fine Ass!

ROSSOLOGY 101 (required for all freshmen)

Covers her solo hits from 1970-85, plus a survey of her most important gowns while performing with The Supremes.

LSF 4003- Lesbian Finance and how to make a dollar out of 15 cents - Dr Suze Orman, Dean of DL Business School

Internet Rhetoric 108b: Nobody Cares, OP—How to Express Superiority by Informing Discussion Participants that You’re Just Not Interested in What They Are Talking About

Virtual Life 207a—The Male Homosexual Imagination and Female Killers from Lizzie Borden to Mrs. Patsy Ramsey, Formerly of Boulder Colorado

My thesis was 'Duke's v. Hellmann's: A Tale of Two Completely Different Condiment's"

R170, don't forget to submit your photographic portfolio with your application.

Sociology 105: Criminology and society. Explore the inner conflict: he murdered his family...but he's hot.

Modern Russian History (and yes a close analysis of the Dylatov Pass incident will of course take up a significant amount of the semester)!

Mathematics 105: Real Inches vs. Internet Inches

[quote] a close analysis of the Dylatov Pass incident

What is that?

Virtual Life 106b–Careers without Consequence: How to Portray the Expert from Casting Director to Homicide Detective

Prerequisite: Virtual Life 106a—Careers without Consequence: How to Portray the Expert from Interior Decorator to Physician

I'm Dieter, a German exchange student. What can I do to get extra credit? I'm not very good at Math or Science or English or History.

R182 DL University admissions will respond to you before 8 pm tonight!

R180 how did you even get in?!

R184 Right? It's as much a mystery as The Dylatov Pass incident.

I got in with an oral exam.

doctor in hole presentation

r173, I took that course, all I recall was, "frankly miss, I have problems of my own"

Masters in Surprise Anal

R189, R39 has the follow on degree to yours.

Trump Derangement Syndrome 101 mandatory for all freshman and sjw's

Those of you with children will be happy to learn that our new Mrs. Patsy Ramsey Memorial Day Care Center is now open!

Do you think we could get Aaron Rodgers to coach our football team?

R193, it’s a sportsball team.

I’m starting an Autism Awareness Club! In the new Straight Women’s Dorm, in the ground floor cafe, The Cradled Mug.

Tim Tebow - baseball coach and leader of the Pray the Gay Away center for closeted Christian boys

I'm starting the university glee club. We all have to wear blazers.

Can I coach the wrestling team? Please?!!!!

a class credit lecture series, WIPING BACK TO FRONT, THE PLEASURE OF ANAL GROOMING.

Poetry 101 will be taught by associate professor Kevin Lanflisi

MCP 4001 - Male Concubine Theory: Closeted Pro Athletes and their hoes

Instructor: Professor Kevin Lanflisi

School of Sports Management - Deans - Mantasia, Vito Cammisano

A few hours here and you can pick up a BS in Grievance Studies...

A Guide to Successful Bearding - taught by Hugh Jackman

Due to unprecedented demand, DL University will be adding several more sections to the PhD Program in Pron Viewing. There will be a special guest lecturer, Mike Branson, future SCOTUS judge, in order to give an "insider's view" to students. Also, there will be an on-site field work requirement, as students will be expected to be fluffers on pron sets during their internship.

Masculinity Program run by Marcus Bachmann

On-site counselor, one Ms L. Lohan

Friendly office admin provided by Mrs Kim Davis

[quote]Masculinity Program run by Marcus Bachmann

Gay Voice Removal Clinic - David Tyler Muir, Director

Photography 101 will be taught by Professor Denny Scott

Acting 101 will be taught by Professor Kevin Spacey. All students must have at least 8 inches to attend this class.

[quote] All students must have at least 8 inches to attend this class.

Rulers? Why not 12 inches?

You forgot punctuation studies, OP.

Don Burns will be teaching a course on how to get revenge on blackmailing hustlers

The mascot for Wake Forest University is the Demon Deacon. The mascot for Datalounge University shall be.......the Demon Senatrice!

Mastering your Oral Exams

I'll be giving the physical exams to all the incumming freshmen.

DLU's counselling department would be headed by Mr Matthew Dempsey, advising on how you can lead a happier life, as long as you're hot enough for his clique.

Literary intelligensia North Morgan would be the DLU head librarian.

EST 101: Mastering the delivery and tone of fictional narrative.

You'll be glad to learn R209 that Punctuation Studies is a prerequisite for this course. Randolf will have a heavy workload running tutorials for both courses. Unfortunately many DLers skip Punctuation Studies and the resultant ESTs are of abysmal quality. The department is considering recruiting BILL TAYLOR to be a grammar cheerleader of sorts, encouraging new students to adhere to proper grammar guidlines.

I'm starting the first fraternity. It's called Phi Sigma Sukme.

Who are you, R215?

I am relieved, R215.

Randolf wants to teach an elective in Esperanto, if it’s not too much trouble.

DLU has kindly allowed Bird Bakery to run a Pop-up Cooking School on campus (with the hope that financier Armand will make an appearance and offer a healthy injection of sorts). Don't be alarmed if you see garishly decorated cookies being proffered by an emaciated woman brandishing an iPhone shooting Instagram stories.

I endowed the Marlo Thomas "Cuntiest Cunt Who Ever Cunted" Chair in the Hollywood Cunt Division of the Study of Cunts

To ensure that my standard of Cuntiness lives on after I am no longer here...

Certainly r218, Randolf has free reign. His oral talents have won him favour in high places.

[quote]Certainly [R218], Randolf has free reign.

Oh, dear.

A requirement for ALL Business Administration majors is BA105-Self-Promotion in the 21st Century. Associate Professor Thomas DiDario will discuss how to juggle 30 or more separate careers while being married to a media superstar.

Oh dear, I certainly AM embarrassed! I hope you can forgive and overlook this terrible mistake.

[quote] Pop-up Cooking School

What’s that?

R225 Aspics of the leisure lifestyle, classes meeting at field sites.

Intro to Sociology: Get Off My Lawn!!! "Millennios" And Why We Hate Them

Sociology 101: The Anatomy of a Small Flyoverstani Town

Sociology 202: Bears, Otters, Cubs and Wolves! The Gay Community Coopts The Animal Kingdom

Intro to Chemistry: Disco Drugs of the 1970s

History 101: Gay Sex In Ancient Rome

History 202: TV Sitcoms of the 1970s and 80s

History 303: Chelsea Boys and Castro Street Clones

Anthropology 101: Female Fans/Gay Message Boards

Anthropology 202: Flyoverstan vs The Coasts on Gay Gossip Sites

Is Tina Yothers on board to guest lecture for History 202?

[quote] Sociology 202: Bears, Otters, Cubs and Wolves! The Gay Community Coopts The Animal Kingdom

Wolves and otters - they's my favorites.

NOTICE: All in-coming first year students are REQUIRED to attend the following discussion groups during orientation -

- To Refrigerate or to Not Refrigerate Bread: That is the question. - Towels for Tricks and Other Ps and Qs that every gayling should know

More will be announced shortly, but you are encouraged to sign up NOW so you can get the best reserved seat.

For those lacking the necessary prerequisites for the B.A. in Cunting, next term we shall be offering Extra-Mural studies in the Applied Arts of Abject Bossypants Cruelty : How to become a really Nellie Bully-Queen. We recognise this as an invaluable and necessary achievement for all online in today's internet forums. Participants shall receive a certificate with marks, and correspondence and online classes may be offered the following term, dependent upon demand. Please stay abreast of negociations, as we are trying to engage Perez Hilton as our esteemed and gifted instructor for the online classes. Materials fee is non-refundable. DL U are NOT to be held responsible for any likely vengeful online trolling that may result.

I'm opening up a student STD clinic.

[quote]For those lacking the necessary prerequisites for the B.A. in Cunting,

I abhor the decline of Cunting in our Culture.

With Saint Lucy of Balls as my witness, I will personally throw hot coffee in the face of any person who tells me he or she can't master the basics of Cunting!

Yours in Cuntiness,

Miss Marlo Thomas

Cunt Swabs,

Are there any courses in wildlife management especially if it involves imbibing copious amounts of alcohol? I want to know more about moose, mice, voles and other assorted mascot types. Gotta know about my coworkers and competition.

Thanks in advance, fetus puree.

I'm DL Professor Emeritus Bill Taylor.

I have tenure. I can do whatever the fuck I want to, and you can't fire me.

Department of Fag Hag Studies. How to Marry a Closeted Billionaire. 1 credit. Professoressa D.V.F-Diller.

New PhD programme in Historical Studies of Vagina Dentata. Students of the Dental School strongly urged to participate, especially if they are phobic about the vagina.

Doctorate in Beth Jarrett Psychology

Please put forward your nominations for the Bootsie Gumdrop Scholarship now.

I'm organizing a protest in front of the student union building. I'm not sure what I'm protesting. I'm just angry.

Get BILL TAYLOR to help make placards. He brings a certain intensity to his typography.

Syllabus for English 101:

Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann

Hollywood Wives by Jackie Collins

Lace by Shirley Conran

The Lord Won't Mind by Gordon Merrick

Glad to see Gordon Merrick is finally getting proper attention from the Academy. The E.M. Forster of his age.

Will that woman, Mrs. Thomas-Donahue, teach all the C-Level courses? Will there be a glass coffee table involved?

This thread. Lol!

You bitches are too cute!

Political Science department will be headed by Jim McGreevey

R88 and the Sheboygan Conservatory!

Rhetoric 101 -- Impassioned Speechmaking.

Instructor: Senatrice Lindsey Graham

Students enrolled in Visiting Professor Goatse's Astrophysics 201 - Black Hole Mysteries - MUST report to each laboratory with impeccable anal hygiene.

A photography seminar will be conducted by Bruce Weber. No fats, no fems allowed.

ANNOUCEMENT: The Vegan Organic Cafeteria in the ALL FEMALE Dormitory, Winfrey Hall, has been shuttered by the local Board of Health pending investigation of overwhelming and potentially toxic "fumes".

R252, where else can we get nutloaf?

Try The Truck parked beside the Arts Quad.

[quote]A photography seminar will be conducted by Bruce Weber. No fats, no fems allowed.

Due to space constraints, only one African and one Asian student will be allowed per semester.

There is a emergency supply of nut loaf in the fallout shelter in the sub-basement of Gertrude Stein Hall. It’s left over from the Cold War, but that’s the beauty of nut loaf, am I right? Never spoils.

I'm editor of the school newspaper, and I'm ironically naming it The Daily Radish.

DLU 17th Annual Dirty Jock Gala and Auction will be held this Friday in the testosterone and taint stink soaked vintage canvas tent palace behind The Old Gym. Viewing and sniffing from 6 pm - 10 pm followed by live modeling and the charity benefit auction, hosted this year by Dustbin Lance Black and Tom Daley. Cash bar. We are pleased to announce major returning sponsors NastyPig, Pump! and Victoria Secret and welcome new sponsor BIKE, who have generously donated 25 vintage #10 jocks that have been worn continuously by DLU varsity Rugby and Soccer teams since August. Dean of Athletics and Professor Emeritus Billie Jean King reminds our generous bidders that physical contact with our atheletes is not included in the winning bids.

[quote] hosted this year by Dustbin Lance Black

Yippee! Equestrian events.

A Comprehensive Overview of Fine Art Penis Sculpting Through the Ages

[quote] A Comprehensive Overview of Fine Art Penis Sculpting Through the Ages

Fight the patrimony!

COM 291 - Public Speaking for Debate - is canceled until we find an instructor to replace Rosie O'Donnell. She quit midway through the semester without any warning.

Companion class: A Comprehensive Overview of the Nude Male in the Visual Arts Through the Ages

Notice to the students of Data Lounge University: The fall class, "A Comprehensive View of the Vagine in Art Through the Ages" has been dropped because of a distinct lack of enrollment in the course.

[quote] Notice to the students of Data Lounge University: The fall class, "A Comprehensive View of the Vagine in Art Through the Ages" has been dropped because of a distinct lack of enrollment in the course.

Fight the patrimonial hegemony!

Judy Chicago's Dinner Party, a white elephant "generous gift" that's left on the door step of several institutions like a brown paper bag of dog shit, will be destroyed in by DLU's FTM undergrads wielding burlap bags filled with toxic frozen jumbo shrimp, harvested by slaves.

Due to the demand of a certain segment of DLU students, the class, "Fight the Patrimonial Hegemony" has been added to the fall curriculum. It will feature the study of depictions of Lesbians in historical settings along with folk tales of subversive actions taken by womyn to undermine male influence. An example is the matriarchal tribe of the Butchdykes in 11th Century France who imprisoned strong men for the exclusive task of breeding ever more stronger womyn. The result was a super tribe of tall, well-muscled womyn who ran a feudal estate where the presence of men was not visible. Sadly, they succumbed to the plague and became extinct.

Announcement: Spivak and The Subalterns is a guest lecture followed by a cruelty-free dînatoire, and not Friday's band at the White Rasta-Boy Rathskeller.

[quote] Due to the demand of a certain segment of DLU students, the class, "Fight the Patrimonial Hegemony" has been added to the fall curriculum.

Thank you. I was telling you NOW so I wouldn’t have to tell you THEN.

BS - self-explanatory MS - More of the Same PhD - Piled Higher and Deeper

We appear to have many posters on DL with PhD degrees.

Attention: Would somebody please shit into Law School Dean Nancy Grace's garrulous piehole?

Children's Removal Studies taught by the esteemed Mrs. Patsy Ramsey.

There is a one unit applied theory Lab required. DLU will provide the playground. You will have to provide the, er, techniques.

Board of Trustee Co-Chairperson Anderson Cooper has made no comment about Kathy Griffin's show this Wednesday evening at the Prince Al-Waleed bin Talal Interfaith Centre and Performance Space. Tickets are still available at reasonable prices or upon the redemption of 12 empty PET bottles. Keep our beautiful campus clean!

The second week of April will be Straight Pride week. On Tuesday evening, women--and the lone straight male student--are invited to listen to motivational speakers at the local Michaels craft store.

Bisexual women--but NOT bisexual men--are encouraged to attend in preparation for their future post-grad.

Attention: The owner of the turquoise Fiat 500 with New Jersey license plates will please remove that car from the DL campus permanently. Turn in your Student ID, and your gay card, you are expelled. Honey, you're a basic bitch.

Oh, a Fiat. Thank goodness it wasn't me. I drive a Miata.

r258 -- So many endowments, so little time.

The Drama Department is pleased to announce this season’s productions:

Peter Shaffer’s “Equus”

Richard Greenber’s “Take Me Out”

Terrence McNally’s “Love! Valour! Compassion!”

John Guare’s “Six Degrees of Separation”

It would be a great coup if we could get DL fave SJP for Equus.

Are there any program for high school students to take college classes early? Asking for my nephew.

DLU, quite appropriately, only gives Honorary Degrees to porn stars who also escort!

R267 Thanks for the pic of that lovely painting. Anyone know the details?

Art Appreciation 101. We will be spending the entire semester analyzing this work.

At DLU there is a great deal of freedom regarding choice of thesis or dissertation for PhD candidates based on their extensive and original research in a chosen field. For example, Dick Softsack received his PhD from the discipline of melittology, naming his thesis "The Life of Gay Honey Bees in Relation to Queens in the Colony." Of particular interest is his discovery of gay bee bars in large colonies, and the behavior of gay honey bees to the queen. Although they do not service the queen in the usual ways, he discovered the queens cultivated gay bees for their entertainment value,as they often amused the queen with jokes and entertaining stories.

R282, it is Le Sommeil (The Sleepers), 1866, by French artist Gustave Courbet. It was not seen publicly until 1988 and was commissioned for a private erotic collection.

Cheers R285

R284, do the gay bees also help the queen bee how to dress? Yellow and black is so boring. Queen bees should try a new look.

The cafeteria will now be serving Red Dragon cheese!

And make your you attend our drama department's production of Mame!

R280, no but if he takes advance placement classes in high school, then he can transfer the credits to DLU.

Datalounge University's Film School will be chaired by Bryan Singer

R290 And perhaps Woody Allen as guset lecturer?

R287, oh yes. They style the queen and she is so grateful. Here her adoring gaybees have added a touch of pink to her head. So fitting for spring.

Sally Quinn has asked to be a Guest Lecturer in the series of Cunting Lectures Sponsored by the Marlo Thomas Endowment

We suggested she drag her wrinkled, bitter old ass down to the Community College.

And we had her removed from the building by Security as she shrieked about vengeance and Vodoo hexes.

It was divine.

Announcement to the campus and town community. There is a new gloryhole in the Men's Room in Stack D of the Social Sciences Section in Main Library. A stack is room of book shelves. Books are those musty smelling paper things on the shelves. Library is a building where people store the books and where homosexuals use to meet for anonymous sex. DLU believes in keeping alive old traditions.

DLU has an Endowed Chair in Language Affectation sponsored by Lindsay with an A, who likes girls! Not Lindsey with an E, who very famously, likes boys!!

Fuck the classes. I can't wait for the Rush Week parties. I'm gonna' get into my favorite fraternity this year!

Our fraternities are basically just excuses for orgies. If the frat house is a-rockin', don't come a-knockin'

But tasteful orgies.

Courses in the History of GAP In-Store Playlists!

All orgies are to take place at The Mound. Horrified grocers welcome.

R300, a Venus mound?

Associates degree in Culinary Arts, special concentration in baked potato bar styling

Doctorate in Dick

Summa cum dumpster

Where within Dataloungeland is Datalounge University located?

We have a very special model this year for Life Drawing 101!

This weekend the Sex-Positive Union of Non-Violent Kinksters (SPUNK) will host

The famous Treasure Island Media star - Dawson

Please CUM and bring a friend too!

Can someone tell me about the field trips offered at DLU?

The star quarterback of our football team!

Cheer squad tryouts are next week!

R308: Bathhouse Etiquette 400 will be visiting Steamworks in Chicago for field observations. Tasteful Decor 325 plans to visit Trump Tower in Manhattan as an example of what NOT to do when picking out design paterns. And Gay History 315 is planning to visit the estate of the late great Bea Arthur in Hollywood to further appreciate the art of sarcasm and wit from the icon herself. Further field trips will be posted later.

What are the Work Study positions open to students on campus?

Serious replies only, please.

DOLLYOLOGY - a complete overview of who played Dolly Levi both on Broadway and on tour.

(Please note INTERNATIONAL DOLLYOLOGY is a separate course.)

R312 If you must ask, you cannot afford to matriculate at DL U. There are NO scholarships or work study programs at this time. We are awaiting an endowment from David Geffen and Barry Diller. If things come to pass, they shall assess your cocksucking skills and get straight back to you.

The Art of Passive Aggressive Whitewashing of Slime: Master Class with Filmmaker Woody Allen.

Announcement to undergraduate men. There is not now nor has there ever been a DLU ban on fucking your professors. Don't act even dumber than we estimated you were when we accepted your pretty ass. Certain among you will NEVER get the credits you need until you complete the extra and remedial work the professor has so kindly offered.

We regret to announce that the Tuppence Poopewell Collection of Extinct Butterflies of the Savage Lands, in Ruth Benedict Hall, has been destroyed by RATS - Radical Anarchist Trans Sociopaths, who smashed the Victorian display cases and pulverized the rare creatures to create non-toxic body paints for their action at the local Hobby Lobby. Moreover, RATS' guerrilla activism failed when the sweet ladies at Hobby Lobby rave delightfully and took pictures of the ravishing colors and and invited the young "artistes" to a Christian Fellowship cruelty free barbecue this weekend.

R311 thank you very much for your courteous response.

Can anyone give me some information on Datalounge U's study abroad programs?

DL University has campuses in Prague and Budapest, R319. These campuses are targeted to Slavic/Eastern European young men interested in becoming pron stars for such world famous studios as Bel Ami, a sort of "finishing school" for hustlers and male hookers. Unless you're young, have a great body and beautiful face, and a large uncut cock, you probably won't pass the entrance exam. Sorry.

Doesn't DLU have a Middle East campus? Dubai would seem a natch.

There is a Palestinian campus in the works R321. Is that to your liking?

R319: We have both study abroad and study afellow, to be inclusive of all genders.

We currently have an exciting opportunity to open an Athens campus that would offer traditional nude Greek Games to promote athletics and bonding. If our Turkish campus plans go through, we'll be able to offer in-depth courses in caftan creation, a first! At DLU, we wecome any further international expansion suggestions.

Bachelor of Science in Bearding

We are very happy to announce the inaugural winter ski semester on our purpose built campus in Davos, Switzerland. We thank the generous donations of the The George Soros Open Society Foundations, The Clinton Foundations, the Aga Khan Foundation, and the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation. All slots are work-study where DLU students are billeted as executive special assistants to individual VIPs in the global .001%. Applicants must submit full nudes included hole and soft and hard cock, or hole and vag (spread beaver), and a recent certified screening at the DLU Sexual Health and Fluid Gender and Sexuality Clinic. 8 ECTS credits are earned in 4 weeks, and there is an honorarium of 12K, paid by the sponsoring VIP.

I am telling you now so that I do not have to tell you then. The Datalounge cafeteria menu has two options for the salad bar. The first is called "Once Around the Garden" - allowing the customer one visit to the salad bar. The second, more expensive option is called "Autumn Harvest" - allowing endless visits to the salad bar.

You may not order "Once Around the Garden" only to pull an "Autumn Harvest," visiting the salad bar multiple times.

Attention! Attention!

The college campus is moving - again. We've done all we can with the area and satellite footage reveals shocking trends in stroller traffic.

Administration will internet-commute on the interwebs from covered bridge festivals, then Napa, then Miami.? as long as there's free wifi and the rooms are serial-killing robot proof....

The Film Dept proudly announce a new series of courses entitled "Making Pron" This new eight part series is taught by the esteemed and inimitable Michael Lucas, and offers hands-on support for future producers and directors. Students willing to perform as actors are eligible for a tuition discount, to be worked out individually with Mr.Lucas. Enemas, condoms, and lube are all provided free of charge thanks to a generous grant from The Kevin Spacey Foundation.

The aforementioned courses are all offered in Russian, Hebrew, Spanish, and English!

Please have a work study or field trip with no sex, food, or color.

Memorandum to Male Teaching Staff and Tenured Professors

From: HR and the staff in Fine Arts

We remind you of leg-hair criteria and minimum pilosity necessary for the wearing of shorts, as well as the sock-less look.

All teachers who have sparse to NO hair, from 2 inches - 10 cm - above the ankle bone down to the footbed, may NOT expose their old man pegs.

Face facts, you are old and nobody wants to see your crepey nude lower leg and foot area.

You are encouraged to appreciate the sublime ankle and foot hairiness of DLU's handsome and testosterone-rich undergraduate men.

In totally unrelated news, Will R331 answer the White Phone!

We repeat: Will R331 answer the White Phone!

You left a clog of your back and nether region hair in the menstrual hut! You plugged it up again.

R330: I am proud to announce the Negative Life Experience program, with trips available to Darfur, Yemen and North Dakota. DUL hopes this will continue to educate our student body on the richness or lack thereof, of life experiences.

Sincerely,

M. Maximus, PhD, MA, BS, GWM, OBE, PPV, Esq. Chancellor of Datalounge University Professor of Political Bitchery Chartered Penis Reader Licensed Spanking Worker Freelance Pagoda Designer

M. Maximus, PhD, MA, BS, GWM, OBE, PPV, Esq.

Chancellor of Datalounge University

Professor of Political Bitchery

Chartered Penis Reader

Licensed Spanking Worker

Freelance Pagoda Designer

[quote]Can anyone give me some information on Datalounge U's study abroad programs?

If you are awarded a Bryan Singer Fellowship* you will travel abroad via private jet and yacht to many parties in many countries.

*This Fellowship has strict age limits and is recommended only for exclusive bottoms.

I just dropped out to go backpacking in Europe.

Is Hudson U one of our feeder schools? I've seen more young, drug-addled, serial-killing sex workers who use mobile learning than the late shift at Stucky's.

I would think only a lesbian would care to study a broad.

Is free bleeding encouraged at DLU?

Hudson is our rival school. They chant “Better dead than bred” during fencing matches.

What courses does our film school offer?

r341, see r86

r342 = too much of a basic bitch to attend Datalounge U

I'm huddling in a University safe space because my professors triggered me by assigning homework and refusing to assign me a grade based solely on my hot looks.

DLU is delighted to announce complete underwriting of its sexual health program by ViiV Healthcare, a joint venture by GlaxoSmithKline and Pfizer. All incoming HIV negative freshman will be offered, for free, complete tri-therapy, rather than PrEP. Regular monitoring will establish adherence and adherence will be rewarded each consecutive September with a 10% reduction in tuition fees. Moreover, this reduction will accumulate over each year, so 10% then 20% and finally 30% for Seniors. Barebacking sluts revealed to be carrying other, treatable STIs at the September and February tests, will not be eligible for the tuition discount, but may continue on free HIV treatment. Total Typhoid Marys will receive a gold star and then expelled from DLU.