I like cakes to look like cakes

OP has stated her boundaries.

Yummy!

Stupid and gross

Y'all type fat

So not for you, OP?

Chocolate!

^^^Nauseating!

Only cylinders please!

R8 is not me!

Sheet cakes are fine too.

Plain cake for me too please. I don't want something fingered/handled to death. Cooties.

That's made me really damn hungry, R2.

All the gals at the office agree my special cake that looks like a full kitty litter box is absolutely hilarious!

Dear me, I don't care for cake. Too sweet!

Come on over R11 and we'll eat it together. Only half the calories!

What about cupcakes, OP? I need to know your position on this.

I prefer a flan.

And no fondant. Ice that fucker with some buttercreme.

R15 I view cupcakes the same way I view midgets; unfavourably.

Start your own thread R16!

R17 is my soulmate.

Cake Wrecks!

Ugh why red velvet? Why???

I friggin HATE ice cream cake. My family is big on those. Ugh.

How about these cakes?

Can I find those a Aldi R24?

R12, the least you could do is provide a link.

What about bundts, OP? Where do you stand on that issue.

Bon apetite!

appetite!

Those are acceptable R28 but they must be made in a proper bundt pan with well defined ridges. Don't give me a tube pan cake and and try to pass it off as a Bundt. I'm not stupid!

but you are extremely concrete and uptight

I'm pro-bundt cake too.

Two birds with one stone, MCd and cake:

But what about the MINI CUPCAKES.

Team Cak!

Now this is a cake.

Don't fuck around with my cake R32.

[quote]But what about the MINI CUPCAKES.

Far too twee and adorable to be taken seriously.

Agreed R37. Perfection.

Is there such a thing as too many tiers, OP?

Make mine coconut

Is it possible to be too thin or too rich R40?

How about doughnuts, OP? I need your evaluation.

Only cake doughnuts R43.

Entenmann's makes an excellent marble loaf cake.

That's a loaf not a cake R45. Get your shit together!

What is your expert opinion on Angel food cake. Is it really cake or a damn imposter?

You talking to me or Entenmann's OP?

The box says Cake

OP is cranky.

Here, have a cookie.

Entenmann's lies IMO

They lie R48. Goddamned lies.

R47 Angel Food Cake is acceptable but only because Devil's Food Cake exists. You can't have one without the other.

What about Devil Dogs? Do they count as cakes?

In what fantasy land do you live R52?

OP, please weigh in on Genoise cakes. Real or faux?

If I can't pronounce it R54 it ain't real cake.

Can you pronounce cheesecake?

Pistachio Bundt Cake.

Only in the Bizarro would would cheesecake be considered cake R56.

^^^world

R27 Fucking hell. I can barely eat a cake if someone calls it moist. How am I meant to eat cake "gravel and shit"?

Is it still a cookie if it isn't round?

That cheesecake looks good.

Yes R61

Typical Sunday evening discussion on DL ...

Is this cake?

Food and sex R64. And I can't have either one.

Settle down OP

Gâteau Breton is the only cake worth eating.

That looks good. Looks like a peanut butter and jelly cake.

nope. made from people who live in Brittany or are named Brittany

Love you, R65.

Please weigh in, OP. Is it a real sponge cake if it's made from cellulose sponges and the not the natural product found in coral reefs?

OP, do cupcakes from Magnolia count?

OP has stated her boulangeries!

Muffins?

All the same ingredients...

I'm also with the buttercream crowd. My favorite cake of all time is a Ghiradelli Telegraph Hill Chocolate Cake though I can't find the recipe online. It has three types of frosting. If anyone has that old cookbook and reprint a recipe, I'd be very grateful. And fat in no time.

I prefer caks

Me too OP.

R5 I love the looks of that geode cake!..... very original

Relax and enjoy OP

A decade ago or so Oprah promoted a bakery called Perfect Endings in Napa, in particular their cup cakes. I don't like cupcakes at all, and I don't care for cake, but I tasted the ones she talked about some years ago at a friend's birthday party and they were UNREAL. The BEST cake I ever had in my entire life.

Fortunately, I'm not the kind of person who'd spend $60 on a box of cupcakes or I'd be fifty pounds overweight.

I bought a cake in the shape of Florida from the Get it While it's Hot Erotic Bake Shop. It's for my cousin Sven.

Cake is NOT fattening. They lie.

Carrot cake is a vegetable.

Perfect Endings Cupcake: How much cum is in it?

R80, R34 is a Perfect Endings creation.

I want the heavier whipped cream frosting and we will have to tilt the plates to serve because this is going to get messy.

I posted both, R85.

^^ I mean, R84

CAK.

R5 R78 That "geode" cake looks like an infected gunshot wound. Complete with granulation tissue and pus.

Any ER docs care to weigh in?

It's a vag, dahling.

R91 - So, R90 was right?

This should please Op.

Good find, R93. Hahaha.

My cupcakes are moist and delicious.

This is nice, too, OP.

I just like cakes to taste like cakes. I don't care much what they look like when it comes down to it.

I prefer normal cakes to weird sculptural fondant cakes, but prefer ice cream cakes or pie to normal cakes. I also prefer a whipped cream frosting. The Whole Foods strawberries & cream cake is wonderful.

This thread makes me happy.

I still have fond memories of the school cafeteria version of yellow cake and chocolate frosting. It was like eating a lead weight covered in pure sugar and nothing could have been better.

R80 wait, what? You don’t CARE FOR CAKE?

Why ever not?

Oh for goodness sakes OP

R95 Do they bring all the boys to the yard?

Never trust someone who says they don't like cake. Punch them and then run for your life.

Punch them 𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙖𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙧 𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙠𝙚 and then run for your life.

Corrected

Bad cake is worse than bad wine. You usually have to visually "yum" at least one bite before the cows will leave you alone.

Is it an office setting? The cake is bad.

Is it a family affair? The cake could be good or bad. Go for the booze while they're cutting.

Is it a restaurant? Why? It's not as if you'll be a good lay with tons of food in your digestive tract and we all hate the brown word. Lay off the cake.

cake

1-2-3-4 cake

yellow cake w/chocolate frosting

chocolate/chocolate cake

lemon cake

We can close the thread. R112 cannot be topped.

Except by more lemon cake of course!

Chocolate cake rules.

I had a slice of delicious caramel cake today at lunch.

German cakes are the best. The rest are way way behind.

Thanks for providing a pic and a recipe, r121.

Yum!

I guess r123 is the German cakes.

Crab Cakes

R123 Majestic yes. Terrifying no. Succulent yes yes yes!

R123 Nice touch to make the penises soft. Hard or cockhead exposed would be vulgar and pornographic.

And one has the choice of uncut cupcake or cut cupcake.

Jesus, now I want cake.

And I, fat bitches

I'm with OP. Cake should look like a cake, keep it simple and please, do not introduce fruit into my cake. Fruit has no business in a beautiful classic cake. Yellow cake, chocolate frosting Perfect

Halekulani Hotel Coconut Cake.

I'm making that one r132.

Am I the only one that doesn’t like the taste of angel food cake? The texture is perfect. It has a weird aftertaste

"Yellow cake, chocolate frosting Perfect "

r131, I hate Walmart. I'm loathe to give them credit for anything.

But damn if they don't make a delicious yellow layer cake with chocolate frosting. It's refridgerated when you buy it.

Let it sit until room temp so it can meld.

The texture of the cake is not too heavy, not too light and the flavor, along with the chocolate frosting, is to. die. for.

What R17 said. I will seriously consider slapping someone who gives me cake with fondant.

It's a major PIA to make, but it is my favorite cake...

Although, I do prefer the original recipe to Martha's version...

The first time I ever heard of Baked Alaska was when I watched "Annie" when I was like 7.

My mother was obsessed with Martha Stewart and when the December 1995 issue came out with the Baked Alaska on the cover (I believe), I begged my mother to make it for the next six months and finally got my wish on my birthday the following year. It was delicious. Although the other kids (we were 12) did not like the pistachio/raspberry/chocolate/meringue mix. It's a very adult taste. I think she may have used booze in it, too. Cretins.

I was reading a biography of a woman with a degenerative disease. She knew she was dying and tried to find as much happiness in life as she could. One of the things she really enjoyed was "a cake that looks as good as it tastes." I would have to agree with that. A gorgeous cake that tastes delicious is one of life's little joys.

Oh my god, R132, that coconut cake looks amazing! I’m going to try making that this weekend.

What do you guys think of mirror cakes:

Dobos torta is divine, but I'm distressed by the way the hard top tends to rest insecurely atop the layers. When I had it at Ruzswurm it actually detached itself and fell off. I declined the waiter's offer to replace it and the opportunity to say, "Oh, fank you, you fixeded my Dobos torta!"

Am I being too ocd?

I've partaken of some theme cakes over the years prepared by world class bakers/bakeries and in every single case these cakes taste like crap. These theme cake bakers pay no attention to making a good tasting cake. They're only interested in what the thing looks like. I found out once that a class A bakery I used to frequent would use boxed cake mixes when they made theme cakes. The person who told me said a well made delicious cake simply won't hold up with all that heavy decoration. They have a cake that is hard as cardboard.

I like cakes to have holes. Preferably coinslots.

When I was in New Zealand earlier this year, every restaurant was proud to serve us their version of Pavlova cake. Each was different to the other. At a couple of places we got a slice of cake, at others we got cake that was made as a single serving. Apparently Pavlova, named for the famous dancer, is the national dessert in New Zealand. I'm not a big fan of flourless cakes, but they added a lot more to make it appealing to the taste buds.

It's not a cake, the Pavlova.

R148 Fuck off with your dried egg whites.

Pavlovas are incredible, but they're not cake and do not belong on this thread. Start your own Pavlova thread. And when you do, include the incredible rhubarb Pavlova I had at Fiddlehead in Bangor, ME of all places—it was ambrosial.

It's true that neither Pavlovas nor Eton Mess belong in this thread... but, the best of all possible worlds is this!

BTW Eton Mess is my favorite dessert and this recipe does not disappoint!

R134 I’m with you, angel food cake just doesn’t satisfy—a truly disappointing cake, and I don’t know what people see in it.

R148 didn’t understand the assignment.

OMG, I like cakes to look like cakes too.

Present Hole Cake, DL official dessert.

Way to disgust a crowd, r155 r156.

If that disgusts you R157, you don't belong here. . .

Isn't there a mommy blog for you to read?

Not everything has to be about assholes, asshole.

I like cakes to look like cats, and taste like springtime in the Rockies.

^^^^

Thanks for that suggestion, R132. I’m vacationing in Honolulu this week and we had dinner at House Without a Key at the Halekulani tonight. The coconut cake was wonderful. Light and fluffy, it almost melts in the mouth.

R157, run along to your fibromyalgia support meeting. Also, if you happen to see a grease fire when driving to pick up Madison, please pull to the side of the road, put on your emergency flashers, and jump right in.