Squatting

What do you weigh, 98?

~137-140 lbs

I tried squatting with my feet up on the toilet seat and found it most uncomfortable, plus I wasn't quite confident with my aim. I think I'm going to get one of those little benches to elevate the legs, which puts one in sort a squatting position.

How enlightening, OP.

Sorry, OP, but your mommy was wrong. Everyone does NOT want to hear everything you have to say.

The infatuation with scat continues...

believe it

Squatting on the toilet? Why, OP, you’re missing out on the true miracle of the squat: Who needs a toilet anymore? I just go out with the dogs to the back yard.

Make sure you pick up after yourself.

No words. No words. I can not think of a single word to say here. Jesus fucking Christ.

And just what was it that compelled you to "share" this OP? Did you imagine you would find converts to your new method?

It can be dangerous. I was an airport restroom which was filthy, proceeded to squat on the toilet and nearly broke my neck slipping off the toilet seat...on which I had placed a seat protector.

I hate squat toilets. They are standard in Japan and Korea. People always poo outside of the toilet and poo gets tracked across the floor.... in the women's restrooms (I'm a woman). I shudder to think at the poo situation in men's restrooms.

Do you have a Squatty Potty?

You're not alone OP

Good for you?

r16 How do you do that without falling on your face?

Asians can do it, r18

A toilet? Never would've thought of that.

Oh, that's it. I'm not Asian.

tl;dr: Asians (or members of any society that uses squat toilets) begin squatting at an early age and stretch their calf muscles in a certain way.

Westerners don't, and can't.

What about Asian cowgirl

[quote]I was hesitant to do it at first because of the taboo,

???

If you are putting your filthy shoes on the toilet seat, I will hunt you down and stab Johnny Depp in the eye.

Just bring ur squatting potty with u 4 public toilets for gods sake

Crazy Regular Asians.

In fashionable circles, OP it's called 'dive-bombing'

I’m good at that.

Howard Stern swears by the Squatty Potty.

They say human anatomy evolved to poop in the squat position, not sitting.

Interesting that there is to much negativity in this thread regarding squatting to defecate. It's what humans have done for thousands of years until very very recently and in just one part of the world. When you squat the colon lines up with the rectum and the poop practically falls out. You don't have to squat with both feet the toilet: put your right foot on the toilet and leave the left on the floor. The descending colon is on the left side and this works just fine. Obviously this is easier to do without shoes and with loose clothing. Or no clothing - I squat, take a poop, and then jump in the shower for a quick wash of my asshole so I prefer to be nude.

Without hesitation I state that since I started squatting about 10 years ago my bowel movement have been been easier, no straining, faster, and more complete emptying.

I drink coffee and eat fiber, r31.

No straining required.

For some reason, squat shitting was being discussed on Joan River's daytime talk show. They said that's the way most people in the world shit. It's too hard to squat on a toilet though.

It you have to "strain" to poop while sitting on a toilet, either you don't really have to go yet or there is something wrong with you and you should see a doctor.

People squat In a lot of countries outside of the US. I’ve seen the “toilet” (don’t know what they call it) with treads for feet traction.

OP we’ve come through a long history of repression for our “taboo” homosexual behavior. Now squatting is taboo? What next?

r34 made me laugh

diarrhea

OP: Thank you for your position on pooping. The human body really could have designed a bit more dignified. Perhaps we will have to wait another billion years to evolve into more suitable and discrete poopers.

[quote] It's too hard to squat on a toilet though.

It's really not. It's hard fully dressed. But if you remove your pants it's much easier. And don't put both feet on the toilet. Squat with the right leg and leave the left leg extended on the floor for balance.

One other benefit I didn't mention above is that it's a lot easier to clean up afterwards. Wiping after a regular poop just smears things around. Wiping when squatting doesn't do this.

This guy is too hot

The art of pooping.. thanks OP. I know I'd lose my balance squatting.. never did that, but sitting has been fine for me. All good..

A little platform might help..

R41 beat me to it.. oops.

[quote] I know I'd lose my balance squatting.

It does help to be limber ...

Don’t your poops make a giant cannonball splash when falling from three times the height?

I was just thinking I can't see it at 80.

Suddenly at home, ....

R45 I was thinking the same thing.

You need good balance, and to be limber. If you toppled over... well, you can imagine. Not good.

Be sure to wear your Life Alert around your neck when attempting this. In case you fall and can't get up!

[quote] Don’t your poops make a giant cannonball splash when falling from three times the height?

It's actually about the same height - you butt and asshole are in about the same position over the toilet - but your body is at a different angle. But it is a surprise sometimes how fast I poop. With everything lined up it comes out pretty fast.

Kathy Griffin recommends it.

OP Is totally right in what he's doing. IN the west we have managed to cause issues and problems that really should not exist. For example, woman giving birth on their backs is is wrong. Women in underdeveloped countries squat to give birth. Time to revisit some things.

[quote] I was just thinking I can't see it at 80.

Well - it helps to have something to grab onto with one hand. And the more you do it the easier it gets - it's easier to get into position and easier to keep your balance and feel secure. And most toilets are near something that can be grabbed.

In countries that use squat toilets there are usually grab bars next to the "toilet" hole

He's cute !!

Squatting helped my squnching.

Sometimes while evacuating I stick my tongue out, smile deliriously, and roll my eyes back in head.

A good, satifying squnch feels SO GOOD.

r56 - hey - that is pretty cool. Is it possible you could share a selfie ??

It's kinda like this, r57

Every bottom should use psyllium husks daily and always squat to poop. You'll void yourself out nicely and be good to go like our beloved Dawson at the start of the weekend.

So I won’t need to enema?

I love Datalounge.

I’m installing a trapeze over my toilet tomorrow!

I suspect the people who have no problems using standard toilet bowls are taller than average. I’m 5’8 and I have to sit with myself propped up on tippy toes when I go to the bathroom while away from home, and toilet bowls seem to be getting higher and higher each year; luckily my toilet at home is fairly low to the ground.

Aldi's is selling their version of the Squatty Potty for$12.99.

Get one before they're gone, OP. That's a great savings!

Why can't you just a cheap plastic bathroom waste can and turn it upside down? Dollar Store has 'em.

Tell me something that I don't already know, OP.

OP = 😖

[quote]toilet bowls seem to be getting higher ..

The ARE getting higher. I had to replace the toilet in my house built in 1950. I had difficulty finding the same height - all were higher. I finally I had to special order at Home Depot.

Number #2 ?

How old are you OP, and does your mommy know what you are doing right now ?

I wound never buy anything Katy Griffin recommended just as a matter of principle. Ugh - what a horrible person ...

She looks like she's supporting her sagging boobs ...

What does Cathy Mitchell say about all this dumping?

Well that will sure come in handy if you ever have to shit in the woods.

Kathy Mitchell is working on her own version called " Party In A Potty"

I think the correct angle could be achieved by leaning forward with your shoulders as close to your knees as you can get. I just tried that and it seemed to work. I actually grabbed the back of my knees and pulled them up while bending over. My bowels released with surprising velocity!

^^^ “My bowels fired like a cannon.”

🚽 I think I should star in the official infomercial.

It's easy!

Oops

Everyone of you fuckers had better be washing your nasty hands after sitting/squatting. You're already spreading poop spume to your keyboards. Don't add the finger browning, too.

What’s nasty about it? Poop is a natural part of life, R80.

Anyone else think this was about a gym workout?

Poop shoots!

[quote]I think the correct angle could be achieved by leaning forward with your shoulders as close to your knees as you can get. I just tried that and it seemed to work. I actually grabbed the back of my knees and pulled them up while bending over. My bowels released with surprising velocity!

I applaud your inventiveness. But if you're sitting on the toilet with you shoulders on your knees doesn't it raise the angle of your asshole and instead of the poop dropping into the toilet it shoots upwards and over the back hitting the toilet tank? But no worries -this is a small price to pay for a really satisfying shit - I really great bowel movement can put a spring in your step. I will just keep a box of disposable gloves handy for cleanup.

[quote] You're already spreading poop spume to your keyboards. Don't add the finger browning, too.

The only body fluid on my keyboard is semen - nice sticky love juice ...

How does one read the newspaper whilst squatting to take a dump?

I once walked in on Jackie squatting and dumping a massive turd at her Fifth Avenue pad. She just smiled and in that whispery voice said, "Jack likes me to do it this way".

[quote] How does one read the newspaper whilst squatting to take a dump?

On your cell phone silly

OP, I think you're very inventive and adventurous. How did it occur to you to challenge the "throne" toilet position that homo sapiens has been using for hundreds of thousands of years?

You can stack books 7” high and get the effect of Squatty potty

Once you reach a certain age, you'll most likely get leg cramps, and tip forward, smack your head on the floor, and end up with a concussion or a brain bleed.

[quote] How did it occur to you to challenge the "throne" toilet position that homo sapiens has been using for hundreds of thousands of years?

It's true. The Egyptian Pharaohs had a trap door on their thrones and when they needed to drop a log they would activate the door, pull up their toga, and let if fly. They just pretended that nothing was going on and of course sometimes it got stinky but everyone pretended it wasn't happening.

Same in the French court. Louis XIV had very foul smelling shits.

I'm shocked we have this many toilet goers!

OP, when I read your thread title I thought you had claimed some land.

Are you supposed to lean on your knees? Because if not, I'd be afraid of falling backwards.

[quote] You can stack books 7” high and get the effect of Squatty potty

This person has never cleaned around a toilet.

OP is drumming up customers for his chiropractor.

I just ordered the 9” one Squatty Potty

[quote]Are you supposed to lean on your knees?

r95 According to r75 (below) you must lean forward until your shoulders to your knees. and then embrace your knees and lower legs. I actually think this is the position r75 gets fucked in so he has the voice of experience ... Optionally you can stack book all around the toilet and if you should fall off you will fall into a pile of books which i guess is better than just hitting the floor. Also you can read the books if they are interesting and not spattered with little dots of piss and shits.

[quote] "I think the correct angle could be achieved by leaning forward with your shoulders as close to your knees as you can get ... I actually grabbed the back of my knees and pulled them UP while bending OVER."

[quote] I just ordered the 9” one Squatty Potty

I think this is fabulous r98 and I hope all your shits are happy ones. I've decided to buy two plastic buckets at the Dollar Store and I will invert them and my shits should be fabulous too ( but yours will be better I'm sure ).

Poor Kathy Griffin is missing out on all that Squatty Potty money due to her severed-Trump-head stunt.

R100 types poor.

r102 types stupid

R103 types judgmental.

r104 is a racist

People are starting to get down right crappy now...please don’t let this subject bring u down

💩 🚽 💩 🚽 💩😷

OP, your asshole must be like a flume. I'm 6'2, do yoga, and am in my early 30's. While stoned, just now, I tried to essentially shit in chair pose, chest to knees per you suggestion. There is no way I can relax to shit in that position. The way you describe it, it flows out of you like soft serve.

I achieve maximum velocity by sitting, but arching my back and leaning to my right. Then I don’t have to get off my lazy ass.

OP: there’s always yogurt and fresh fruit.

My new Squatty Potty makes going quick n easy...worth the $20

[quote]One other benefit I didn't mention above is that it's a lot easier to clean up afterwards. Wiping after a regular poop just smears things around. Wiping when squatting doesn't do this. —r31

Serious question: do you reach in and wipe from the front, or come in from the back/side?

r112, neither..what's the point?

[quote]Anyone else think this was about a gym workout?

I thought it was gonna be about some squatting Slavs.

[quote]I think I should star in the official infomercial.—🚶 Darfur O

Wouldn't you need to actually eat to have enough matter to defacate?

*defecate

[r95] google squat on toilet YouTube and one girl demonstrates and says this pooping style gave her her flat stomach

The Idiot's Guide to Japanese Squat Toilets, featuring detailed tips on how to properly squat:

Could this help be thinner?

Could R119's post BE more like Chandler Bing?

I haven't done #2 in a long time.

Anyone else considering buying the Squatty Potty?

When my dad was in hospital after surgery they had a plastic foot stool in the bathroom to “encourage things along”

Dear Lord in Heaven!

I have the squatty potty. Love it. I know I could get buckets much cheaper, but I think I paid $20-25 for the squatty potty and it's all in one piece, it sits steady with no slide, and the height is exact. (I have the 9" one.) Tremendously helpful for going quickly. I keep it in my second bathroom, and when I have company, I just toss it in the bathtub (hidden behind a shower curtain.) Due to some intestinal issues, I have normal poops 1/3 of the time, bouts of diarrhea 1/3 of the time, and bouts of constipation the final 1/3. I find that if I use the squatty potty all the time, even when I seemingly don't need it, it makes a big difference. I'm now about 20% diarrhea, 70% normal, 10% constipation.

right now i have a anal fissure. it's torture. i've been using coconut oil and the medicine the surgeon prescribed. all was going well until yesterday when the fissure ripped open again. anyone have any tips that will help it heal faster? i've been using dulcolax.

OP, if you are long legged like me, you basically squat just sitting on the toilet, depending the commode. my knees are ALWAYS higher than my waist when I sit.

[quote]I hate squat toilets. They are standard in Japan and Korea. People always poo outside of the toilet and poo gets tracked across the floor.... in the women's restrooms (I'm a woman). I shudder to think at the poo situation in men's restrooms.

Take it from someone who has had to clean Burger King's toilets in his time. The women's toilets were always a zillion times more disgusting than the mens. Always.

As for squatting, just lean forward so your chest gets as close as it can to your knees. Opens your bowels in the same way without the complex gymnastics.

Don't do this if you have the squits. Obviously.

I do the splits when I have the squits

Poops lives matter!

R126, is it getting ripped open by big turds? If so, maybe cut back on the fiber and other bulk-forming foods.

Otoh, if it's getting irritated by the mere presence of poop (especially if you have the squirts so it's very acidic), try rinsing off right away with water. I sit on the edge of the tub and use the shower massager to hose off my hole; it's soothing and minimizes rubbing on tender skin.

R125, sounds like you have Irritable Bowel Syndrome, the kind that alternates between C (constipation) and D (diarrhea).

I just have the D type. Sometimes food goes through me so quickly (sometimes only 15 minutes after eating) that it's very acidic and burns like hell, as I mentioned in R131.

[quote]I've recently started squatting on my toilet

Pics please.

Ewww, R133!