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Which Celebrity Men Have Small Penises?

Say what you want about the "motion of the ocean," but when it comes to certain body parts, bigger is usually better. However, having a small penis doesn't necessarily doom a man to a lame sex life. In fact, according to TheFrisky, one of the world's most swaggering lady-killers?, Mick Jagger, has been called out recently by his band-mate Keith Richards for having a "tiny dodger" - (that would be slang for a "tiny dick," for those of us not fluent in Cockney.)

Surprisingly, Mick isn't the only guy in Hollywood, walking around with a small package. Below are 8 more dashing men who just might embody the idea that less is more...

1. Brad Pitt - Say, it ain't so!? Is the most beautiful man in the world really small down there? According to his ex-girlfriend, Juliette Lewis, sleeping with Brad in the 1990s was no "big" deal, she told fans at a concert, with extra emphasis on the "big" part. Even Brad's BFF, George Clooney, once slapped a "Small Penis Onboard" sticker onto the side of Brad's car, but they both were probably just joking, right? Right?!?!?

2. Jude Law - Thanks to the work of one sneaky paparazzo, we don't have to rely on heresay to determine whether or not Jude Law's penis is small. Thanks to these NSFW photos on IDontLikeYouInThatWay.com, we can evaluate Jude's penis size for ourselves.

3. Shia LaBeouf- Even if Shia LaBeouf hadn't admitted to Playboy that he wasn't "extremely well-endowed," we probably would have figured it out on our own. No man who wears a large size condom would have thrown a cup of coffee at a photographer on the street and then run away like a little girl!

4. Jon Gosselin - Beware of the scorned ex-girlfriend, ye men of small dicks! Jon Gosselin's ex, Hailey Glassman, got back at him by telling the whole world what Kate Gosselin already knew: that Jon's penis was "tiny, tiny, tiny!" Kate was slightly more generous when she referred to her ex's manhood was "stubby."

5. Daniel Craig - According to Lemondrop.com, Daniel Craig used a penis body double for his nude scenes in . Royale! Did his real-life teenie-weenie not measure up to the James Bond ideal?

6. Enrique Iglesias - Six years ago, Enrique Iglesias admitted to having a small penis, but then he took it back - So, is he big or small? We guess only Anna Kournikova knows the true size of Enrique's number.

7. Eminem - Although Em may rap as well as any black rapper, evidently, he's not as well-endowed as most. "If you’re going to have sex with Marshall, make sure you have a little blue pill, because otherwise it does not work," ranted his ex-wife Kim Mathers.

8. Nick Lachey - Lastly, Jessica Simpson's virginity pledge may not have been worth the wait, as Nick Lachey's small penis evidently did not impress the singer on their wedding night. "Nick Lachey didn’t pack too well if you know what I mean, but I got over it," she was quoted as saying. Geez, Jessica, we hope your new boyfriend, Eric Johnson, is able to stuff more into your suitcase than Nick did!

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by Anonymousreply 84August 30, 2018 2:13 AM

1. Brad Pitt

Say, it ain't so!? Does Brad Pitt really have a small penis? According to his ex-girlfriend, Juliette Lewis, sleeping with Brad in the 1990s was no "big" deal, she told fans at a concert, with extra emphasis on the "big" part.

Even Brad's BFF, George Clooney, once slapped a "Small Penis Onboard" sticker onto the side of Brad's car. But that's most definitely some type of joke (er, misunderstanding?), right? Right?!?!?

by Anonymousreply 1August 23, 2018 3:35 AM

Homosexual tinymeat brad Pitt

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by Anonymousreply 2August 23, 2018 3:37 AM

Enrique Iglesias

Enrique delivered a humble brag for the ages when he claimed, "I have the smallest penis in the world." He wasn't joking. (In 2005, Iglesias gave an interview to the Houston Press in which he made a similar boast: "The next product I'm gonna put my name on is extra-small condoms. I can never find extra-small condoms, and I know it's really embarrassing for people—you know, from experience.") As if that weren't honest enough, Iglesias told the astonished Aussie audience, "I don't even last eight minutes now."

by Anonymousreply 3August 23, 2018 3:39 AM

Shia LaBeouf

While discussing how he lost his virginity in a 2009 interview with Playboy, Shia LaBeouf overshared about being underwhelming. "I remember putting a pillow underneath her because I had seen that in a porn movie," he told the magazine. "It put her at a weird angle, where I couldn't get in correctly. I'm not extremely well-endowed...and clearly this wasn't the move."

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by Anonymousreply 4August 23, 2018 3:40 AM

In the naked pics, Pitt is semi-erect and it STILL isn't bigger than his thumb.

He is pathetically small.

by Anonymousreply 5August 23, 2018 3:40 AM

Donald Trump, and probably Donald Tru,p Jr.

by Anonymousreply 6August 23, 2018 3:42 AM

tiny dick and saggy balls

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by Anonymousreply 7August 23, 2018 3:44 AM

I've seen a number of nude photos of Brad Pitt and while he isn't huge he isn't small either. Probably average - a grower not a shower. I certainly wouldn't turn him down!

by Anonymousreply 8August 23, 2018 3:44 AM

Well, George Clooney is a size queen.

He just HAD to mention the size of Michael Fassbender's penis at the Golden Globes. Or was it the Oscars? So he definitely pays attention to that kind of thing.

BTW, EVERY MALE NUDE SCENE IN A BIG BUDGET MOVIE USES A FAKE PENIS.

EVERY ONE. It's a concession made to the actor that he won't "really be nude" and it's a possible concession to any insecurities the actor might have about his body.

If an actress can excercise the same power, she won't hesitate to take it.

Think of Diane Keaton, famous for having body "issues" i.e., the often told story of her being the only one in the original run of Hair who didn't get naked. Then at the age of about sixty appears completely nude with a the body that would be the envy of the average woman.

Obviously, it was a body double with no "enhancements." The natural sag of her breasts selling the idea that it's Diane's "natural" body.

But for men it's CGI muscles, a CGI hairline and a prosthetic penis if needed.

by Anonymousreply 9August 23, 2018 3:45 AM

I've seen pictures online of Nick Lachey and he definitely is packing some meat down there..... Jessica is a catty bitch!

by Anonymousreply 10August 23, 2018 3:45 AM

^ He's erect in those nude pics and it's still small

by Anonymousreply 11August 23, 2018 3:45 AM

FINALLY a list that Brad come in first at ...

by Anonymousreply 12August 23, 2018 3:46 AM

I was replying R9

by Anonymousreply 13August 23, 2018 3:46 AM

R1 Juliette Lewis is such an ugly hag and a Scientologist that she shouldn't be criticizing anyone. She was damn lucky to be paired up with Brad Pitt for awhile.

by Anonymousreply 14August 23, 2018 3:47 AM

The biggest dick belong to Johnny Depp, allegedly known as "donkey dick

by Anonymousreply 15August 23, 2018 3:48 AM

R14 Yes she so was lucky Pitty abused her when she was a teenager! shut up

by Anonymousreply 16August 23, 2018 3:48 AM

brads penis is definitley below average at least from the pics we can see, and while it does t really matter..from a superficial aspect it does..brad pitt is considered one of the sexiest man alive, and this is just not a penis you would imagine or wish on a sexiest man.

by Anonymousreply 17August 23, 2018 3:49 AM

John Lennon.

by Anonymousreply 18August 23, 2018 3:50 AM

R16 We should all be so lucky to have that type of 'abuse'!

by Anonymousreply 19August 23, 2018 3:50 AM

The original Princess Tiny Meat: Montgomery Clift

by Anonymousreply 20August 23, 2018 3:52 AM

Tim Tebow. remember those tighty whitey pictures from say 10 years ago? he could still put all 3” in me... i won’t complain.

by Anonymousreply 21August 23, 2018 3:54 AM

#7 doesn't refer to size, OP, but function.

by Anonymousreply 22August 23, 2018 4:02 AM

R21 I have it on good authority that Tebow is packing much more than a mouthful. He had been on several Gates foundation expeditions circumcising African men. Ironically enough, Tebow is uncut and packing.

by Anonymousreply 23August 23, 2018 4:17 AM

r23 he could still put it all in me.

by Anonymousreply 24August 23, 2018 4:23 AM

WTF R21??

“He had been on several Gates foundation expeditions circumcising African men.”

I thought the Gates Foundation was all about AIDS, malari, vaccinations, clean water, and the like in Africa. What the heck are these circumcising expeditions about? And that the heck is Tebow doing on them?

PS - whatever he’s packing, I’d gladly welcome Tebow into me bed!

by Anonymousreply 25August 23, 2018 4:44 AM

I wrote the lengthy post above about male nudity within the context of being nude onscreen.

Pap pics have a completely different set of rules.

by Anonymousreply 26August 23, 2018 4:45 AM

R25, think you had meant to reference my post R23... He may be a grower, as three inches can add up to a lot... I have a friend, very Christian, involved in WorldVision, and he happened to be on a Gates Foundation Africa initiative. They wrongly believe circumcising helps prevent/eliminate AIDS & HIV, hence the circumcisions. They utilised a plastic device which requires no sutures or cauterising. Apparently to their minds, anyone can do it. Tebow performed many, and it was great fodder for jokes why he did not undergo the procedure. When in Africa, one pees in the wild, and my friend caught a glimpse numerous times. NO FOOLIN'

by Anonymousreply 27August 23, 2018 4:51 AM

Sting. Princess Tiny Meat.

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by Anonymousreply 28August 23, 2018 4:55 AM

Richard Gere

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by Anonymousreply 29August 23, 2018 4:57 AM

Terrence Howard

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by Anonymousreply 30August 23, 2018 4:58 AM

Peter Sarsgaard

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by Anonymousreply 31August 23, 2018 4:59 AM

Yes, Tebow has a fat cheesemaker! YUM

by Anonymousreply 32August 23, 2018 4:59 AM

Dolph Lundgren

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by Anonymousreply 33August 23, 2018 5:02 AM

Stellan and Alexander Skarsgard

by Anonymousreply 34August 23, 2018 5:03 AM

Daniel Craig

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by Anonymousreply 35August 23, 2018 5:03 AM

R31 poor Maggie!

by Anonymousreply 36August 23, 2018 5:03 AM

Robert De Niro and Gérard Depardieu

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by Anonymousreply 37August 23, 2018 5:05 AM

Eric Stoltz

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by Anonymousreply 38August 23, 2018 5:06 AM

R33 - Dolph looks like he fills out fine once he's hard. Those are balls and an uncut cock with PROMISE!

by Anonymousreply 39August 23, 2018 5:07 AM

Harvey Keitel

by Anonymousreply 40August 23, 2018 5:07 AM

Terrence Howard really shatters that myth, huh?

by Anonymousreply 41August 23, 2018 5:08 AM

R30 Terrence Howard's dick is really tiny

by Anonymousreply 42August 23, 2018 5:09 AM

Patrick Dempsey

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by Anonymousreply 43August 23, 2018 5:09 AM

Patrick Dempsey's buldge or lack there of

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by Anonymousreply 44August 23, 2018 5:29 AM

An GIF of that Robert De Niro and Gérard Depardieu scene.

Who is the actress jerking them off?

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by Anonymousreply 45August 23, 2018 5:29 AM

Bobbie seemed to be having fun!

I thought the actress was Viva, but it's not her.

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by Anonymousreply 46August 23, 2018 5:31 AM

James Spader proudly owns this thread.

by Anonymousreply 47August 23, 2018 5:41 AM

Bill Paxton

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by Anonymousreply 48August 23, 2018 5:41 AM

A site that has porn dicks as their only reference are hardly the ones to pass judgement on cock sizes.

Most of the main players mention here look pretty normal.

Why so?

I have actually seen many dicks out there in the real world-unlike the caftan brigade here.

by Anonymousreply 49August 23, 2018 5:41 AM

I’d say they’re all average. They make up for anything lacking in looks or personality anyway.

Judy Dench said she saw an absolute monster on Dan Craig. Some of these could be photoshopped. And what if it’s cold? I mean swimming, come on! Everyone’s seen the Seinfeld episode.

by Anonymousreply 50August 23, 2018 5:41 AM

Leonardo Dicaprio

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by Anonymousreply 51August 23, 2018 5:44 AM

Russell Brand

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by Anonymousreply 52August 23, 2018 5:46 AM

Nicole Kidman

by Anonymousreply 53August 23, 2018 5:46 AM

Robin Williams

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by Anonymousreply 54August 23, 2018 6:03 AM

Shia does not have a small dick. He's fine. Having a dick that isn't 10 inches isn't small.

by Anonymousreply 55August 23, 2018 6:08 AM

Helen Lawson

by Anonymousreply 56August 23, 2018 6:10 AM

It's true. Nicole has Tom's original dick in a jar. She didn't want it, but he was desperate for her to have it to show the press. You know, so they'd think she had to have touched it if only to cut it off and put in a jar.

I hear it's actually an old dried raccoon penis that they rehydrated using some kind of gelling process.

Travolta has a coat made out of rehydrated racoon penises, and for some reason an ottoman covered with recycled toupee's.

The ottoman is ruched on the sides and the top has a arabesque pattern hand- branded on it.

by Anonymousreply 57August 23, 2018 6:11 AM

If you look at the video of Russell Brand bathing the homeless guy in the tv show he used to do in England, you'll see he's average.that pic in r52 was on a cold day.

by Anonymousreply 58August 23, 2018 6:17 AM

He IS big, r139, I would not settle for any less.

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by Anonymousreply 59August 23, 2018 6:25 AM

I can't believe how handsome and hot Gérard Depardieu was when he was young.

It's also unfathomable to me how fat and fug he became.

by Anonymousreply 60August 23, 2018 6:30 AM

bump for tiny meat

by Anonymousreply 61August 26, 2018 6:25 AM

Sam Rockwell

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by Anonymousreply 62August 26, 2018 6:30 AM

Eric Balfour

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by Anonymousreply 63August 26, 2018 6:36 AM

Tom Arnold, according to Roseanne, so the source is unreliable to say the least.

by Anonymousreply 64August 26, 2018 6:43 AM

R64 “I thought the bitch was white”

by Anonymousreply 65August 26, 2018 6:44 AM

It may grow, r63, and meanwhile, look at the rest of him.

by Anonymousreply 66August 26, 2018 6:48 AM

Billie Joe Armstrong from Green Day

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by Anonymousreply 67August 26, 2018 6:51 AM

Rage Against The Machine

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by Anonymousreply 68August 26, 2018 6:52 AM

They both have nice meaty cocks, r68.

by Anonymousreply 69August 26, 2018 6:54 AM

Lebron James

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by Anonymousreply 70August 26, 2018 6:54 AM

R66 - Yep. And the big ball sac helps me believe that bigger things could be a'coming.

by Anonymousreply 71August 26, 2018 6:58 AM

[quote] A GIF of that Robert De Niro and Gérard Depardieu scene. Who is the actress jerking them off?

Stefania Casini

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by Anonymousreply 72August 26, 2018 8:07 AM

The link at R72 wrongly states that it is Ellen Schwiers, but it's actually Stefania Casini. I linked it because it has a link to the whole scene

by Anonymousreply 73August 26, 2018 8:09 AM

Lundgren was on a list many years ago as having a big one. These lists are not reliable. Enrique Iglesias is part Filipino, so I can believe that about him.

by Anonymousreply 74August 26, 2018 8:26 AM

[quote]Enrique Iglesias is part Filipino, so I can believe that about him.

Why not choose to believe it simply because he has admitted and unlikely to be lying about such a shortcoming, rather than engaging in juvenile ethnic stereotypes.

by Anonymousreply 75August 26, 2018 8:33 AM

Jude looks perfectly fine to me. Nice bush.

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by Anonymousreply 76August 26, 2018 8:44 AM

Donald Trump

by Anonymousreply 77August 26, 2018 9:10 AM

I never understood the public reaction to Jude's nude pic (at R76). For a flaccid cock, that is promising.

by Anonymousreply 78August 29, 2018 3:18 AM

Mick Jagger

Keith Richards says he has big balls but a small penis.

by Anonymousreply 79August 29, 2018 3:34 AM

Depardieu doesn't belong on this list...

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by Anonymousreply 80August 30, 2018 12:41 AM

Balfour's glorious ass more than makes up for his average cock.

by Anonymousreply 81August 30, 2018 12:45 AM

Hans van Tongeren.

by Anonymousreply 82August 30, 2018 1:42 AM

McGowan.

by Anonymousreply 83August 30, 2018 1:46 AM

It's an enduring mystery to me why so many people don't understand how the penis works. Flaccid generally means small. I understand why this is surprising to teenage girls who only encounter dicks in moments of drunken excitement. I don't know why this is news to so many adult gay men.

by Anonymousreply 84August 30, 2018 2:13 AM
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