BAD Neighbors: Post our horror stories and your advice, (what can we do)!

Make it look like an accident.

When they're too loud, I anonymously call the police.

Yeah, I'm a squealer.

Buy a burner phone, call them repeatedly and whisper in a psychotic voice that they better leave. Pour bleach on their plants. Pay a local teen to wear a mask and throw a brick through their window that says "straighten up or there will be hell to pay." Find out where they work, follow them there, and key their car. Leave a couple of water guns in their driveway, filled with bleach. Attach a note that says "have fun on this hot summer day" then watch through your window as they playfully spray each other in the face with bleach.

Disguise yourself and go find a schizophrenic roaming downtown, give him food/money to ride in your trunk, make him get out a few houses down, then describe which house is theirs, and tell him to go make himself at home.

Put some powder in a ziploc bag, drop it somewhere near their front door. Under cover of night, put a sign in their yard that says "Fuck the Police" then wait until dawn and call 911 and say you just saw someone run out carrying bags of coke. The fake coke will at least get cops attention, as will the 'FTP' sign.

I walked into my living room one morning to the sound of a police bullhorn ordering the next door neighbors out of their house, with their hands up. A look out the back window showed a SWAT team in my yard, hiding behind my storage shed.

They couldn't hear. They were dead. Murder-suicide, a nice woman and her estranged boyfriend. Police were called by her fiance, who was worried about the crazy ex, who had been lurking around the place.

I later found bullet holes in my roof.

An accident, Dolores, can be an unhappy woman's best friend.

I was going to post about the renters next door who let their yard go to shit until their weeds started spreading into my yard so I started complaining to the HOA on a regular basis. Then I read R4 and thought "I can't compete with that."

Sorry about the downer, R6. At least I feel somewhat relieved, having shared it with 'group'. Carry on.

That poor woman and her fiance, R4. Wow

Jeezus, r3, at least let OP build up to it.

R3 watches too much tv

Moved into an apartment in a small town with a huge garden in the backyard. My landlord had allowed the neighbor across the street to use the garden to grow tomatoes when the house was still unoccupied and under renovation. When I started a garden the next spring, there he was with his plants, putting them a space I had just cleared. When I told him he had to leave, he pitched a bloody fit and started using the common pathway to a rail trail behind my house to wheelbarrow in his yard waste and dump it behind the garden on the wooded area next to the trail. It wasn't leaves, but things like bishop's weed and japanese knotweed. The path was on the property I rented so I had my landlord get a no-trespass order. The fucking landlord acted like I was the jerk and actually talked to him about it first.

What made me laugh was when after the no trespass order was issued he called his entire family to come and visit so they could traipse on the part of the common path that didn't cut into the yard. He asked our other neighbor if he could cut across his yard to continue to dump the waste that he'd been ditching "for over 30 years" on the rail trail and the old retired guy shut his ass down. Never dared to do it before, but now we'd made it possible.

Cockroaches from a pet store - sold as food for chameleons and geckos. But not used as such.

Friends lived in a swanky apartment building but had a horrible time with neighbors who seemed to be there to torture them - noise all the time, day and night, banging on the walls, etc. Complaints did no good: they were somehow related to the owners. My friends were leaving anyway so for move-out day they bought about 1000 cockroaches. They then "repackaged" the lil critters into a ziplock bag after the movers had everything of theirs out of their place and on to the truck and slipped the bag, partially unzipped, under the offending neighbor's door.

Then they went down to the garage and keyed one of their neighbor's cars.

You couldn't do it today - surveillance cameras everywhere - but it gave them a quiet sense of satisfaction as the drove away.