Let's be a elite liberal arts college!

I’n the financial aid package providing a free ride to bright students who have no money.

AN elite liberal arts college - not A elite liberal arts college

Oh, dear.

I shall milk the alumni by making them think they can still own their youth.

I'm the undercurrent of incipient lesbianism.

I'm the brand new sports facility that cost a billion that could otherwise have gone to scholarships and financial aid, but it won't make a dent in the budget because sports, not paltry boring academia, is what gets big bucks alumns to cough up the dough.

I'm the ski slope that always seems to be nearby.

Im the $200,000 of debt you'll accrue for a useless degree in Lesbian Dance Theory.

I'm the bell tower.

I am the former victim of mini-rape, AND I FEEL MY POWER GROWING!

I'm Women's Studies 306: "'Revealing My Candy': Gender, Transgender, and Nationalism in 'Post-Racial' America."

I'm the queenier than thou male theater/music/dance major who insists he's straight...or, at the very most, bi.

I'm the hot poor guy who has a work study job in the cafeteria. I'm hoping to get the circulation desk in the library next semester.

I'm the ill-hidden disdain radiated by everyone who walks across the leafy quad.

I'm the clove cigarettes.

R13 That was so me.

We're the three-sizes-too-small thrift store ensembles.

I'm psychedelic mushrooms, and I will be involved in many long, silly conversations.

I'm the French in Action book for French 101 you had to buy for $180.00. You'll get $18.00 when the bookstore buys it back. You'll take it.

I'm the angry alt-right troglodyte trying to start another identity politics division thread.

I'm the 4' x 6' fabric with a vaguely middle eastern/Indian print thumb-tacked to the ceiling, covering the center light fixture and creating ambiance.

I'm the woke students taking sadomasochist pleasure in being abused by the black professors of the mandatory white guilt classes.

[quote]I'm the unchecked privilege.

I'm the "block poster" button.

I'm Jacques Lacan. Nobody understands WTF I mean, but English majors carry me around and cite me prolifically anyway.

I'm the coloreds on the front of the college catalog. To show diversity. Even though our student body is 98.3% white. Bonus if I'm a chubby girl from Somalia.

Interesting. I was an English Major and never heard of Lacan. I'm off to learn something new.

I’m the fantastic education that is completely useless in the modern hypercapitalist world. But it will help me understand how fucked up evrything is - but be unable to do anything to change it.

I'm the idiot jock sitting in poly-sci 101, who got in on a combo of mommy & daddy's money and a Lacrosse scholarship.

^ he's probably hot and gets tons of tail

I'm the bullhorn in the quad because I don't think EVERYONE CAN HEAR ME!!! 📢

I'm "they". If you're in doubt, refer to everyone as me.

I cahnt tell you how pleashed I am to make your acquaintanshe.

Our girlsh club ish completely reshtricted.

I'm the multiple Starbucks's on campus. My most grandiose presence is in the bookstore :).

I'm Strunk and White. I'm obsolete and forgotten. :-(

I’m the one good looking guy over 5’5” who can get any straight girl on campus.

OP seems to hate white people and is a racist.

I think OP is being sardonic.

R24 Lacan isn’t the most difficult one. I’ve studies literature and there are plenty of difficult philosophers to study. The faculty was full of feminists so Kristeva’s work was mentioned very often. I also studied lots of other stuff.

I’m Cornell. All the other elite schools consider me inferior.

Please! Let's not!

[quote] I’n the financial aid package providing a free ride to bright students who have no money.

Rarer than a unicorn

I'm the white guy who wears a sarong around campus before getting an internship at Goldman Sachs.

I'm the hideous Chartwells dining hall.

We serve everyone the same burgers. I'm not real sure if they're vegan, but they sure the fuck ain't meat.

I’m Niles Crane.

I'm Lens Dunham

I'm the fat bitch coming to graze on prime rib meat but now I'm fucking high as a kite

I'm Kamantua Kanga née Elizabeth Martindale from Westport, CT. I won't be walking at graduation. It's just another patriarchal ceremony I refuse to participate in. Of course you already knew that didn't you? I mean I've been telling you ALL SEMESTER. Aren't you listening and affirming?

I'm the beret worn unironically while pontificating on French Deconstructionist Theory.

I'm the Young Republicans meeting, filled with 30 young men who all look like Macy's store mannequins.

I’m the offensive Halloween costume just waiting to destroy the safe spaces adults seem to require these days

I'm the office of the school newspaper, filled with awesome music, art, smelly old couches, and the faint smell of pot.

I'm Brad. I'm a graduating senior. Oh fuck. I wish I went to Auburn and got that engineering degree.

Along with R30, I'm the vocal battle cry from the bullhorn:

"Hey-hey-ho-ho...Bla bla bla has got to go!"

I'm a hacky sack. My power and importance will never waver. I am a symbol of progressive thought and a hopeful future. My owner drinks bong juice.

I hated studying critical theory/deconstructionism in grad school. It seemed designed to sap all the joy out of literature.

I'm the wake and bake. I'm necessary to get through your 8AM M-W-F Marriage and Family class.

I'm the bi pan fluid fat straight girl, i love dick so much but i have to follow the man-hating trend !!

I'm the manager of the local McDonalds, who'd rather hire an illegal immigrant with a meth habit than a student from the liberal arts college.

I'm a townie. You have no idea how envious I am and how much I hate you.

I'm the unnecessary commencement speaker, blathering platitudes to an audience who is sick of hearing the same message that was given 100 yrs. ago.

I'm the word "problematic." I'm the students' favorite critical word. I can mean anything.

I'm the mounting anxiety among students who are not getting laid enough for one reason or another that everyone else is having lots of sex while they are not. Unfortunately, I am not unfounded.

I am grindr, which could reveal to any curious student in a second which of their hotter faculty members are gay.

I am your degree...I am nothing of any value in todays world

Imagine if in 1982 you found a report that said there were 24 gay students in your school? Just that bit of information would have changed lives and now it is as common as a mimeograph. Don't ask youngsters? Just be grateful you don't know.

I'm the inordinate number of majors that end in "studies".

I’m the gloryhole in the bathroom on the third floor of the library. I left in 1987.

I am the hottest male senior in the theater department. I once fooled around with a male friend back in summer camp, and think that gives me the right to call myself "bi" or "queer," when long I ago I decided I really only want to fuck girls, and I knew calling myself this would get more of them of them to fuck me while the gay boys pine for me.

I get all the leads in the school plays this year and last because I'm hot and can speak clearly, and because the theater professor who directs the plays also wants to fuck me. In reality, I am not that talented and will wind up eventually becoming a Lutheran minister or a lawyer (depending on how smart I am) after ten years of trying to make it in NYC or LA and failing.

I will never fuck so many girls in my life as I will this year, but I don't realize this now.

I am the tasty carbs the kids will consume without a second thought. In later years they will pine for me, wondering why they did not appreciate me back when they could eat me and not get fat.

I'm the OP

I'm the group of creepy Classics students.

I'm the Shakespeare portrait that now resides in the basement. I made the mistake of triggering Sharquisha.

I'm the Phi Beta Kappa key that's used as a roach clip.

I'm the colored girl sleeping in the day room.

i’m the aging alum who never left, as the liberal college town is more of a home to me than anywhere else i’ve lived. i enjoy my job on campus and earn good money but am surrounded by undergrads with better physiques, trendier wardrobes and youthful optimism. thanks fer noticin’ me.

You in danger, gurl!

We're the "theme houses" that sprang up in the absence of Greek life. We're every bit as snooty and exclusionary in our earnest way.

I'm the French professor, giving a talk on the Marquis de Sade and getting a noticeable erection.

Or the classics professor who is way to eager to point out every single Freudian image in mythology. We get it! Zeus was a rapist and you want to be Zeus. No, I will not be riding in the elevator alone with you or meeting you after hours in your office. I'll take the C grade.

R49: When, pray tell, did you last see a mannequin at Macy's?

I'm the co-ed who will be married to my English professor, twenty years my senior, three months after graduation. We will swear to everyone we weren't dating while I was a student, but in truth, I began blowing him in his office the second semester of sophomore year. I will get bored with living in a quiet college town and turn to booze, pills, and coke early in the marriage. Then I will start showing up to my husband's seminars wasted.

I went to one of these colleges in the 80s. When elite just meant you could go there because of your parent's income. It was a whole different ballgame.

[quote]I’m the gloryhole in the bathroom on the third floor of the library. I left in 1987.

I'm the nacreous layer of permacum that remains.

I'm the dog that's always running around the quad without a leash. Supposedly I belong to some ancient, respected professor so I'm allowed to deposit my poops all over the manicured lawn without anyone picking them up.

I'm the questionnaire sent to all incoming students to ask which pronoun they use to identify themselves. Do you go by " he,"she," "they"? :she,: they"?

Im the bitter, resentful DL posters who couldn't get into an elite liberal arts college and who will mask it for all their worth by making snarky, sarcastic posts about the disdain they have and then who will gaslight anyone who challenges them.

I'm R6. I don't know what an elite liberal arts college is.

I'm Steve, the unbelievably hunky wide receiver on the Hampden Sydney football team. Yes, I am here on a full scholarship, and yes, I come from a 3rd generation white trash family in Weir's Cave, Va, But I am actually as smart as I am virile and sexy. I will graduate magna cum laude, and within 10 years I will own a large company in Staunton forever breaking the chain of white trashiness of my family.

I will forever be grateful to my great friends and Sigma Chi brothers, all from FFV families of Richmond, who introduced me to their world and taught me how to be a gentleman. Oh, and they also introduced me to my wife Kate at her Bal de Bois debut in my senior year.

I’m everyone’s safety school. No one comes here by choice.

I'm the townie drug dealer who sells stool softeners and generic Claritin tablets to the college kids for $20 a piece.

I'm second row of the student parking lot. The cars in my row are worth more than all of the faculty and staff cars, combined.

I'm the frumpy hetero feminazi who smiles at heterosexual looking male passers by and acts offended if they acknowledge me.

I'm the cafeteria lady who resents when students try to talk to me in Spanish. I get really pissed off when one of them asks to interview me for her upper-division grammar and composition class.

I'm the boho, student-run food co-op that has sickened countless students but remains open because, tradition.

r81: I am Sarah Lawrence, c. 1982.

R81 is Adrienne Barbeaus character, Billie, in CREEPSHOW.

I’m the group of seemingly wholesome friends who’ve known each other forever, growing up together, prep school together and spend summers on Nantucket as we always have. We dress alike and stick together exclusively with a very casual air of elitism under the guise of “its how it’s always been”. We’ll marry within the group and our children will follow in our footsteps as did the generations before us.

I'm the mesh shorts that hundreds of hot dicks are hanging out in during the last month of classes.

I give the gay boys life when I swell up or twitch.

I'm the word "prolematic" which is heard every two minutes.

I'm the safe place. Get the fuck out of here before I kill you.

I'm the smartphone and I have caused more addiction than opioids. No college student escapes my clutches.

I’m the disgusting student pizza that tastes really good when you’re drunk slash hung over.

I'm the woke students causing a ruckus in the library with yet another protest, while everyone else is trying to study in order to become gainfully employed after graduation.

I'm my friends and I making fun of the semiotics crowd at Brown (any often reading this will know who I am):

[sung to the tune of that Chaka Khan, Chaka Khan song]:

"Jacques Lacan, Jacques Lacan; Jacques Lacan lemme tell you what I wanna do. I wanna deconstruct ya and Foucault too".

^ of them reading...

I’m the outmoded academic calendar of a reading period and exams after Christmas that still exists at Harvard and Princeton, totally ruining your Christmas vacation.

[quote]I'm the Young Republicans meeting, filled with 30 young men who all look like Macy's store mannequins.

I'm the rage and jealousy from all the trans/non-binary/genderqueer students because these guys will never, ever fuck them. Or give them the lifestyle they all secretly crave.

I'm the severe, masculine library that uses knowledge to help maintain the patriarchal structure of the educational system.

I'm the mattress being carried from class to class after the 'incident '.

My owner has BPD.

I'm a townie.

I'm a good person, but every time I hear these spoiled lazy college students slam working men like me for being "privileged", I gain new insight into the minds of mass shooters.

I’m Mary Albright and I will never teach here.

I'm the ROTC program.

I'm the "circular file" at the offices of every major corporation in the state!

I hold the resumes of every recent and not-so-recent graduate of the elite liberal arts college, at least of those graduates that majored in anything but a STEM program.

I'm transdisciplinarity. That's that.

I'm the Asian students taking Asian Studies.

I'm the hero in R103 's post

I'm Alexandra Wallace and her big jugs.

I'm a Che Guevara t-shirt.

I'm the emotional support ferret.

I'm the potential 5th generation of Oberlinians(Obies in vernacular)) that took a PASS on the experience.

I’m the child of a straightlaced archaeologist and a basket case librarian. I’m an equestrian but the team is referred to as “Equest.” I’m doing coursework in queer studies and ethnomusicology — when people ask what I want to do I tell them elementary school teacher. I keep taking sabbaticals and probably won’t graduate.

I'm Chrysanthemum Tran

I'm the dog-eared copy of Rules for Radicals.

I’m Charlene from Georgia. I grew up in a traditional family. My goal is to find a rich man and become a house wife in Ga. I study arts because I won’t need real skills in life. Today I will meet a lesbian group. I’m straight but would like to try it with a woman. Hopefully meeting will be fun and I’ll meet a pretty lovely young Southern Belle like me.

No one under 50 is named Charlene, R124, Georgia or anywhere else.

I’m the earrings

I’m the caftans!

I'm the obligatory accessory for the Che Guevara t-shirt upthread. You can find us both on Amazon!

Also, Charlene, if you're looking for a "pretty Southern Belle," boy,howdy did you come to the wrong place.

I'm the woke SJW berating r126 for culturally appropriating said earrings

I'm the ROTC office at the state Moo U again--I'll be welcoming the mixed-up kid from R122 in a few years when he can't seem to finish his degree and needs a new direction.

Don't worry, Son, not only will we make a man out of you, but I'm sure we can also rustle up a husband for you down the line--most of our graduates come from rural states from Georgia to Oregon, and there's bound to be a someone who knows his way around a horse.

I'm the obese, pink-haired girl with multiple piercings who calls herself "queer." I just call myself that because I'm completely boring and totally unfuckable to either sex, but I just want to sound interesting. Somebody please pay attention to me!

I'm the mathematics professor on the autism spectrum, who has rock-bottom social skills and serious trouble relating to other people... but who is now expected to remember the "preferred pronouns" of every idiot student in my classes.

R97 - Jesus, you got that spot on. They’re literally trained from birth. And it’s funny how they’re just hidden in plain sight at all these schools.

I’m the lack of curriculum that is required to graduate.

I'm Julia. I'm wearing my first hijab today. It's so feminist.

I’m the cousin of a British-Pakistani international student, visiting from the UK. About to the start the grooming process on Julia ^.

I'm the LUG dorm hall - Lesbian Until Graduation.

Remember girls, if your man is at another school, we'll keep your pussy happy here! Our motto is "Eatin' Ain't Cheatin'!"

Spot on R88, went there, and that was my fraternity.

I'm the state university across town. I am looked down upon, made fun of and am the "there but for fortune" attitude whenever the elite liberal arts students see my students around. But those elites sure do like to try and get laid here.

I’m the sushi that will definitely not be making an appearance at the dining hall, because....you know.

R136 lol

I’m the special assistant to the president. I basically run the place and reward my favorite faculty and staff with sabbaticals giving them the opportunity to study such weighty matters as the former role of classroom chalk on harmonic dissonance.

I cover for the president and keep disgruntled department chairs at bay. The president is on his 3rd wife. They come and go but I’m still here...20 years later.

Oh, and to keep my skills fresh I coach the field hockey team. Women power!

R139 I don't want you to reveal anything personal, but could you give me a general idea of when you were there?

I don't need an exact grad year.

R144 Sometime in the eighties.

R145 We are 10 years older, but I would not be surprised if we know some of the same people.

Hello, OP, I’m the indefinite article “an.” It’s a shame we never met before.

r147, I'm op. See r2 and r3

I'm the problematic, culturally-appropriative food served by the dining hall.

The students spend far more time protesting me than protesting the near-minimum wage that workers who prepare me make.

I am the safe space. I am supplied with coloring books, crayons, and stuffed animals to soothe the hurt feelings of our students who are allegedly full-functioning adults.

I’m the all-male a capella singing group. I’m 50% frat bros and 50% closet queens.

I’m Prof. Amy Bishop bitches!!! Bang bang

I had refresh my memory on that one, r152. Quite the story!

I’m the SJW who can be heard yelling “Go back to Beijing!” shortly after the hero in R116’s video squashes my entire protest with little more than a polite scolding.

I made a complete fool of myself, but I’m too stupid to understand that. I WILL be back!

Nice catch, r154! I never noticed that before

I’m one of the disparaged state university students mentioned in R140’s post. Unlike the students at the elite liberal college across town, my parents never took me across the country to visit dozens of college campuses so I could choose one where I felt “most comfortable.” Because they both worked jobs that don’t pay Wall Street salaries, they made it clear I would have to help pay for my own education by WORKING part time. For that reason, I chose to go to the state college and live at home to save on living expenses. I graduated magna cum laude, double majoring in Business and Writing.

Fast forward 10 years, and I just got promoted to director at a major corporation (having worked my way up from being a lowly office assistant—I didn’t land a fancy internship in college because they weren’t offered to state school students.) Because I went to the lowly state college, and because I worked my way through school, I paid off my (fairly small) student debt in less than 5 years, so I’m now debt free. I’m enjoying my life, traveling to great places for my job, and fulfilled in my work.

Those “elite liberal arts” students who used to belittle the state school kids are still in debt. According to their Facebook rants, many of them didn’t vote in 2016 because the Democrats didn’t choose Bernie, who PROMISED them he’d eliminate their student debt! Those lucky enough to have parents who paid the entire, huge elite college tuition bill are now working for dad’s company and/or (in the case of many of the women) stay at home moms who think their homemade soap “businesses” will make them as rich and famous as chocolate chip cookies made Mrs. Fields!

R156 nice story but doesn't fit the snark of the thread. Sorry, but 0/10!

I’m the revivification.

I'm the dull faculty cocktail party at the President's enormous Victorian mansion, complete with a string trio and the Dean of Students getting falling-down drunk again.

I'm the culturally-appropriated pad thai in the dining hall.

I'm the design thinking initiative that will teach the students empathy as its first step.

R156 has a chip on her shoulder as big as the campus quad.

I'm on a full ride and also smoking hot and bisexual and WHITE. For winter break I'm deciding between Paris and Courchevel with one rich fuck bud or St Barths with this girl I've been hooking up with.

I'm the literal violence.

I'm the Chik-fil-a serving in the basement of the student rec center. The first two weeks there were protestors but the free samples served by hot sorority girls were sooooooo good. And the manager gave a discount catering the semester's weekly meeting of the LGBTQQIP2SAA steering committee. So what the heck.

I'm the inordinate number of psychiatric diagnoses.

[quote]I’m the lack of curriculum that is required to graduate.

Meanwhile, I'm the rigorous core curriculum that is now being ragefully protested as R164.

I'm the owner of the local pharmacy, whose vacation home has been paid for by all the anti-anxiety meds and anti-depressants I sell to the students. God bless the Helicopter Parents!

I'm the thrift-store ensemble worn by a 19-year-old coed.

I make her look 67.

Maybe in 1985, R159, but today it would be grounds for some sort of protest.

I'm the "RESIST" sticker displayed prominently and unironically on a Macbook Air.

I’m Thirsty Thursday

I’m the “COEXIST” sticker on virtually every car in Student Parking.

I'm the flamboyantly embittered faculty spouse. Just call me Billie, everyone does.

I'm the fuck room in a tower of the collegiate gothic main library. I'm a study room but the door locks and there is a sturdy 100 year old oak table that has been fucked on thousands of times, and a window that opens to air it out.

I'm the used copy of the Velvet Underground and Nico.

R91, how did you know that's where I park everyday?!

I'm one of the African-American maintenance/custodians. I push the mop only in the commons areas.

The honkies get the dorms maintenance. They don't make the kids uneasy.

I am the tofu still in the salad bar. No one calls me culturally appropriated

Im the woke intersectional white feminist who seek to "smash" Christian patriachy yet happy to wear hijab to show solidarity with Muslims

I'm Randa Jarrar, visiting for a guest lecture. I only call on POC during the Q&A.

I'm a critique and everyone is always giving me.

I'm the word "gaslighting," hurled at anyone who disagrees with me about any social or intellectual issue no matter what my command of the facts is.

I'm every other posting on this thread, and I"m grayed out. I've pissed off a lot of viewers who would like to read these postings without squinting or having to highlight the text to see it better.

Change your settings to "Asbestos Eyeballs" r184

The posts are grayed out mostly because people were trolls, r184,:and once Muriel decides you're a troll ,all your posts get grayed out and you get redtagged.

So your solution should actually be to ask people not to behave so trollishly anymore.

I'm "speaks to," and I live all over campus. As in "Her tragic story speaks to the issues of race and class in America."

I'm the phrase "living my truth."

I'm the organic demonstration vegetable garden as a protest against Monsanto. Unfortunately Monsanto got bought out and the deer ate 75% of me.

I'm the word "voice." I have many meanings and can be used in many contexts -- "voices" can be silenced and "voices" can be made heard; "POC voices" are privileged, we need to hear more "queer and trans voices," etc. We never need to hear from more women -- we need to hear more "women's voices."

I'm the gigantic celebration of Earth Day, complete with plastic cups, straws, utensils and paper plates for the barbecue. I'm pretty ironic.

I'm the Greek system. I am hated by all SJWs for my elitism, but I sure get a lot of gals to my kegger parties.

R34, you're alive and well on DL.

I'm a second-year Literary Studies major who spurns anything written north of the Tropic of Cancer. I find Strunk and White ableist and classist, r34 / r193.

I am the Jane Austin fanatic, president of my local Jane Austin Society of America, who chairs our annual high tea celebration on her birthday. We quote Ms. Jane then guess which book is the source of the quote. I always bring crust-less egg sandwiches to the tea. and look with disdain on novice fans.

[quote] I am the Jane Austin fanatic, president of my local Jane Austin Society of America,

I would hope an actual Jane Austen fanatic would know how to spell her name correctly.

Do “intellectual” undergrads STILL read Derrida and revere the generation of ‘68?

R10 I've never heard of mini-rape. I'm afraid to ask or investigate.

Maybe not directly, r197 -- although some might. However, his influence is still felt in many disciplines within the humanities, and a certain set of academics still affect his writing style -- unfortunately.

I am the colorful autumn leaves that festoon the grounds and beautiful buildings in the fall.

I'm New England. And I could tell you a thing or two about elite liberal arts colleges.

I'm the criminal justice/digital forensics major from a noted state college who will later investigate elite college graduates' white collar crimes after they enter politics or business.

Do tell, r201.

Where to begin, r203?

R200, You're the best part of this dump.

I'm a non-binary genderqueer trans-of-colorperson. I'm also identify as femme otherkin.

I'm the "bisexual" guy who will marry. father a child and take over from his father in the family law firm in NJ. And do a damn good job of it.

I"m the OP who couldn't get in to one.

I am my own happy investment account, fed over the years by a career in publishing, law and finance that was launched on a LA degree.

I'm the "ironic" croquet club modeled after the film "Heathers" full of bitchy seniors slamming Long Island Iced Teas.

I am a shelf in the pottery studio. I am filled with many pots in various stages of production. They are all very ugly.

I'm white bucks. On a fashionable black guy.

I'm a non-binary genderqueer trans-of-color otherkin.

No, not really, but I'm a white straight woman and everyone here feels free to dump on me unless I deny my real identity.

I'm vintage ads for gay action combined with anti-gay graffiti carved into the marble wall of a bathroom stall, miraculously surviving to this day in the disused old Geology building, with the huge rock collection, by the old gymnasium.

R201 Don't tell me, you've had over 100 in you at once.

I’m the Chinese exchange student foolish enough to actually want to study in the library during a yell-fest about some nonsense.

I’m the rape that fails to rise to the level of rape-rape

R212 Nice!!

I'm the dog-eared and heavily annotated copy of Avital Ronell's Telephone Book, causing sudden scruples for the Gender Studies major who owns me.

Yawn.....

I'm a grandson of a Middle Eastern sheik who's going to a small college in New England, and I drive a Mercedes, and live in a house across the street bought by my father. I can speak perfect English because I spent most of my childhood living in England, France and Switzerland.

I'm the fortunate Chinese son who crashed my Lamborghini. I figured my dad would replace it by the end of term, and I was right.

I'm the Pabst Blue Ribbon and Lucky Strikes.

I'm the $22 million settlement.

I'm the banner stretched across the front of the library that says PARALYZE THE PATRIARCHY

We're the group of multi-racial former Wesleyan students, We dress like we're homeless, drink cheap American beer, smoke unfiltered cigarettes and lots weed. Only bathe once a week, if that much. We now live in crappy railroad flats in Bushwick and we all belong to a 'music/fashion collective'. Of course, our parents are still supporting us. Our claim to fame, one of us is fucking a famous actor!

I'm the healing crystal my roommate's hippy mom made him bring in to "bless" our dorm room.

I'm the vegan girls wishing "Gender Studies" was a major!

I'm the very first "Bernie 2020" t-shirt appearing right after Winter Break of 2017.

I'm the goddamn hacky sack that the white boys are STILL playing with!

I'm the word "like" which is used ten MILLION times a day on campus.

I'm all the pussy hat-wearing WOKE female students who didn't realize you have to actually register to vote and then told everyone, "I didn't vote because they're all alike!"

[quote]I'm the vegan girls wishing "Gender Studies" was a major!

Is r228 posting from 1971?

I'm the ROTC program.

I'm Donna Tartt

I'm the ultra-left wing Bernie Bro who will quietly become a Republican within 15 years of graduation.

We're Lucy, Chloe, Sam, Elsa and Spike, the illegal dorm cats. When the semester ends, our "owners" will leave us behind to shift for ourselves. We'll make our way across campus to the brushy area behind the cafeteria, where Irma, Cecilia and Marisleysis on the evening shift will ensure we get sleek and fat.

Being cats, there will soon be dozens more of us, till our numbers come to the attention of the Life Sciences Dept Dean, who foolishly calls Animal Control to have us rounded up amd taken to the local shelter, which is not a no-kill, and we'll become the center of a campus protest. An enterprising B School senior will feature us (and our many descendants) as the star attractions of the cat cafe he opened with the the awe-inspiring GoFundMe generated by the publicity.