Insignificant Absolutely Fabulous lines you remember for some reason

Edina to her mom: "I'm doing regressive memory therapy- I'll get something on YOU".

“I’ve got arms!!”

"It's inspired by the new electrographic architecture."

Don't question me!

Yeah, yeah, cheers. Thanks a lot.

“I haven’t got any real hormones left, darling. I’m just held together with gels, pills and suppositories.”

Isn't it regressive false memory therapy?

"And I'm an ovum."

Let them die!

Are you still with us?

“She was very anally retentive, she couldn’t sit down for fear of sucking up the furniture.”

Is it a bee?

Safi to patsy: "if you were anymore relaxed you'd be dead"

THIS is the one.... (at the wine tasting)

The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic.

"Old bits of hoof"

Titicaca to the sink cupboard!

Quite big tits.

Jesus Christ, how is "Quite big tits" insignificant?

It kicked!

“Oi bitch nurse!”

...with some lovely...photos

Dawn French, TV-AM: And later on, we'll be talking to the Sports Personality of the Year.

Patsy, off screen: Contradiction in terms.

R20: Well of course, who wouldn't? I'm resisting the urge to do so myself!

"They're all muslin around here you know, darling"

"You get to know the mystery."

"Why, oh, why do we pay taxes?"

"Come by, come by!"

Stand on the bloody bin bag!

"That's because there's less of it"

I must have actually enjoyed playing ping pong.

"Can you feel the transmugerence?"

"No, but I can smell it."

Angleterra angleterra

"Is this the Car Clamp Club?"

"She's all gums."

"Don't start making me go on vacation, Pats!"

It's all pounds, shillings, and pence to me, sweetie.

Bring me a knitting needle!

Even then it was the same food, just colder

working mum

A teaspoon! A bloody, buggery teaspoon!!

Oh, a bloody buggery teaspoon! And what does one fill the kettle with? The bloody marvelous tap, I suppose.

Espresso!

Yes, I am in rather a hurry

"You can't come in, you're too fat."

ong gong ga ding ding gong

R45: Om ra ra min nigh ra, na Na NA NA NA

STOP IT!

"I work out in West Hollywood with Lorenzo..."

Colonic irrigation is nothing to be sniffed at, Sweetie.

You can lose the attitude, you work in a shop.

Yeah, he'd want me to be there!

Abort! Abort abort abort!

Champers and nibbly things

The only label she wears is drip-dry.

Money! Tickets! Passport!

And you’ve got great tits!

"If the models get any younger,Pats,they'll be chucking fetuses down the catwalk".

YOU!!!!

I can't do that thing you do with your eyes. Mush mush sweetie mush mush.

Take it away and bring me another lover

I PR things. People, places, concepts!

It is very important for business for me to look good, and looking good costs money

Just the one dear?

Buns so tight he was bouncing off the walls.

Don't question me.

I think she's tremendous.

Just tax the stupid people.

Edina: "When was the last time you ate something?"

Patsy lighting up a cig: "1973."

Bric n' Brac 'n' Knick 'n' Knack - any old things.

How long does it take that old woman to score a tab of aspirin? I could score acid quicker.

Danny!

"You can't go wrong [at M&S] can you?"

No......no......no...no...no...no no no no no nonoTHERE'SNOLIMIT

What are Pop-Specs! Are you dead? Are you dead?

“Patsy, I’m 72.”

Well they ain't made of wood, how kind do you want!?

IT’S LACROIX!

You take a pot of scented honey mixed with goat's cheese yoghurt, sprinkled with almonds from the Atlas Mountains. You spread it all over your naked nubile young body and allow a man old enough to be your father to lick it off.

Eggs, cod steaks, apples for Saffy

Nicole is WEEPING with regret.

And, yes, I faxed the volcano.

R73 and R75 need to leave the thread.

"Pats hasn't eaten since 1973"

"Well, there was that crisp..."

Bombay mix - that's a funny voice Mummy's using isn't it!

"..my surfaces, sweetie, what's happened to all my surfaces"!

and

""Ooh, talk the Latin, Talk the Latin to me!"

ANGLETERRE! ANGLETERRE!

"Thursday"

Bombay mix.

Cosmo sex quiz, sweetie.

Razzle?!

“She’s blind.”

“YES!”

Just the one, dear?

I'm going to do thin things.

R59: LULU!!!!

"I want complete sensory deprivation AND back-up drugs"

champagne for Lulu.

“She’s thin, darling! That’s what gives her the right!”

I can’t translate this into words. So.

How many major organs did it harpoon on its way down?!

Edina & Patsy - Finest Moments

Just the one dear?

Without notes sir.

Is this the car clamp club?

I'll just bet she has her period in cubes.

She was fantastic.

Surfaces, darling. Where are my surfaces? I just want clean lines and surfaces.

I've been to paradise but I've never been to me.

Squish-squish, darling, squish-squish!

Want to hear some gossip about someone you don't know?

My word du jour is moisture...

Time is like a stretched elastic band, you can't let it go or it'll come back and take your eye out.

Oh we've TRIED going green, but it's just no earthly use.

I've got arms. I've got arms.

Sale starts Friday.

You cannot find yourself through massage!

Oh dear. Mr. Dictionary has deserted us again, has he?

Sometimes, it's KIND-ERRRRR!

In a room?

Oh Eddie, Eddie... is it... is it a BEE?

Oh, hello, Patsy!

Hi! You really interest me.

Gabon

I'd like you to have this, you dear recently-bereaved one. I hope you don't mind me terming you so.

Lights, models, guest list...

I'd rather sit at a table of my own.

My whole body HANGS off these cheekbones

Lacroix...baby spew...Lacroix....baby spew

It is a bee?

R124: I may very well have a gun in my bag. I could take this whole place out. I'll pay for the meal....and the champagne....and a substantial donation to the charity of your choice.

"Ah ... KNOW ... something!"

You know when i heard Eds was pregnant I told her to abort. ABORT! ABORT! ABORT!

Bring me a knitting needle!

She taxed the office whilst you were on your ‘oliday!

Very important paper! It COOMS and it COOMS!

What do you mean? She's got the whip.

I thought that was Jimmy Osmond.

There will be a party and she will be expressing milk throughout.

I love that I can hear their voices in my mind when I read most of these.

NOT a rat...

Skin ... is in!

Far more suitable as a friend than poor sad old Patsy!

Wait...it'll come to me.

Off the beaten track in Andalucia. Forgotten Catalonia, my own secret Mallorca!

"Your weed is too tight and the paper's too loose. Here, give it to me."

You know, last night, at a party... I drank a whole can!!!

Pierce and Colin are the creative team responsible for MILK and BEEF!

There's nothing so unattractive as a frisky old person.

Patsy to Edina -

Baby Shower??" (holds up her hands referencing a small tiny shower,,"

Whooooo can say?

" You don't know me." Patsy to monkey in zoo

"You'll be treated like Ava Gardner and...companion."

"It's not as if she enjoyed a normal life. It might bring something out in her."

"...chiefly due to the success of my 'stop dumping' campaign."

Eleanor Bron's expressions

one word from me and hemlines will be so high, the world will be your gynecologist.

Take it away! And bring me another lover!

Gorgeous, tasteful, little stylish little gorgeous things.

"I'm coming to Washington to have my baby--tell THAT to the Senate!"

The goose flies at night!

Your ROACH is too tight and your paper's too loose, R141

"I was a baby buffet...."

[quote]Skinny belinky long legs, Big banana feet, A rolly pully pooding, I bet no body wants to meet

Sung to a teenage patsy by eddy’s cruel mom. Lol!

YOOOOU, have a sister (a sister, a sister, a sister, a sister).

Thanks to New Labour!

What chance did SHE have?

Listen up Pats! What's really sick, Pats. Is when a non-bimbo girl goes out with a really old man. That's sick!

Is it a dwarf?

*Standing beside coffin* Pats: "Yes, but is it art?" Eddie: "No, Sweetie. It's my father."

I've got nothing to wear on public transport!

"You cannot make rock 'n' roll on a diet of Quorn, V8 juice, and Linda Bloody McCartney's Tofu Treats!"

As your mother, I cannot be held responsible for your well-being.

Who chokes on their own vomit THESE days?

Gran: Who was that group she used to hang around with? The Beatles? The Beach Boys??

Edina: It was the Baader-Meinhof!

R140: More like my own secret asshole! The whole Spanish coastline has been ruined by patronizing English gits. "Oh you must come over and share a rather fine local Rioja." Oh piss off, you sad twats!!!!

Cross her off, she screwed me. Oh, and put him in, he screwed me.

Well, I, I'm not willing to believe I'm simply THAT obvious.

Terms of Endearment "I was just inches from a clean getaway."

West Side Story "You killed him. You all killed him. But not with knives and guns. With words. And now I can kill too. How many bullets are in this gun? How many can I kill and still have one left for me?"

WRONG THREAD, r170.

You introduced Jackie to O!

Capp-u-cci-NO! Capp-u-cci-NO!

Do you like being surrounded by lovely things?

'Queen Furious'--oh, that's not you...

Champagne for Lulu!

HELP ME YOU BITCH!

Thin ankles?!

It's an Eskimo papoose, darling.

So this is Eddie's place? Not bad. Not so VULGAR as I expected.

Flush it Eddie!

Is he from Gabon Eddie?

I love it - if it’s lacroix...

Ring Joan Collins - tell her it’s free champagne!

My fave R177. Help me you bitch.

The only Chippendale I ever sat on had 2 legs

Holland Park! Holland Park!

Stone... Stone... Oh! Did your life change much after Basic Instinct?

Mother was such a slut

Teatime at the Thunderbirds set!

"Then how old does that make me then?"

—Patsy's response to R73

Oh, my God, there's something horrible on the stairs!

And Pippa! Pippa! Swish, swish, swish down the aisle. Great big fat arse! Swish, swish, swish! No knickers! Rear of the year!

La car car car es su!

...moiselle, mademoiselle

“Do you like the CAWTS-WALDS?”

"Sex, drugs or rock and roll?"

"Catherine Zeta Jones rather stole your thunder, didn't she?"

Got any of that stuff they used in Awakenings? L-DOPA? Yes, two of those on the rocks.

Watch out Pats entering a no fun zone

Yes, well I pay you to interpret my dreams, so can't you at least find a hidden depth?

Well, her people were a bit cagey about which designer she favored.

Sisters Grimm, can I tempt you?

What a strange archaic little world you live in.

“She was always the entertainment.” “Before slot machines?” “She WAS the slot machine.”

Fat, lazy woman! Lazy lazy lazy

Let them eat cake. Didja hear about the new pirate movie? It's rated ARRRRRRRRRRRRR!

He could've choked any second, that was the thrill.

I want this baby to be born on a carpet of roses!

And God knows what down below.

Well DNA, take it away.

Why oh why do we pay taxes?

A CARTOON!

Borderline shy / wild.

I want to say telephone... no, that's not right...

I’ll buy the bloody talking-stick...

Some good stuff here...

It's hard to believe Patsy is 39 years old. She looks so young! [Thank you]. SO young! [Thanks]. Young........

Wash them down with brandy.

It's that old slag in the papers last week!

Maybe there's a God after all.

We need a map and and a list.

- Patsy Stone

It’s a miracle that I can walk at all.

- Patsy

Water....it’s a mixer Pats.

-Eddie

“Troll b*tch from Hell.”

-Patsy to Safie

I love that 98% of these are the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of the OP's request.

The price is the price, there's no negotiations.

R226, it’s because all lines from Absolutely Fabulous ARE significant.

We’re going to be taking an in-depth look at acute schizophrenia, from 9:20 to 9:23...

"I'm just happy sitting here."

––Saffie's Asian study group friend, during the Romanian babies episode

I’ll never go back to pits now.

My name is Cherysh, with a y

Let's speak in tongues!

Garden implements, that sort of thing.

"Darling...Stella McCartney!"

Grabs phone

"Hello, Stella!"

Oops I've got that wrong - someone, please, set it right.

Get away from her, you bloody pig!

Just move the salad spinner, sweetie, so we can see your face.

Will it be with me forever???

God, you must be bored.

Isn't Titty Caca's "I'm just happy sitting here?" from when the nerd girls go into a pool hall and yell at the smokers because one is asthmatic -- and the whole bar empties out? It is the "final" episode when Patsy goes to NYC and Edina goes to a commune to find herself.

Well, they wouldn't give Nanette Newman anything too complicated to do

It’s in the white box.

"I'm not cash rich!"

Applied genetics.

I'll get something on you yet.

I don’t want more choice; I just want nicer things!

Bo: Am I amongst friends?

Edina: Are you ever!?

I'm ga going

I’m just not the sort of woman who wants to spend her free afternoons squatted over a hand mirror. For God’s sake, I’ve seen doctors go pale...

It's a bit like the war without the war!

"A high colonic is nothing to be sniffed at."

"Celibacy leaves much to be desired."

(Neither gets a laugh from the studio audience -- assuming there is one -- and, to their credit, they don't add one in later).

"I wanna buy some art. Something for the walls."

Throwaway rant by an insignificant character:

"More like my own secret arsehole. It was a shitty bit of coastline ruined by patronizing English gits. 'Oh you must come over and share a rather fine local Rioja.' Oh, piss off you sad twats!"

R254: See R167 .

"What is the point of asking me whether I packed my suitcase myself? Oh no, I let a total bastard of Middle Eastern origin pack it for me!"

[quote] How many bastards need to look at my ticket and then stare inexplicably at a crap computer screen for hours on end?

We laugh because it's funny and we laugh because it's true.

Can I buy a talking stick?!

And afterwards, what else but euthanasia? We'll talk to some people who pulled the plug on their elderly mothers—so [italic]you'd[/italic] better watch out, dear!

Television!

Not afraid to wear black in the evening of her life, I notice.

Tease, tease, tease...just like your mother.

R235 - Patsy grabs the WALLET not the phone.

Will I come to keep Liz Hurley company? Bugger! Has she got no friends of her own?

Common miser.

The royal family, can't be doing with them. We should release them back into their natural habitat. Born into captivity, aren't they? For us all to look at. Big Brother but without Davina. We should vote them out, and let them spend their millions unwisely. They're a bit like the lions at the zoo, all wanting to spray at the face on the other side of the bars!

Mommy wanted you , yes she did! Mommy wanted you. "however...the day after"

you always found your way back

I just don't think you should have sold Saffie like that.... What did you get anyway?

Am I right in thinking that you took two ordinary members of the public and made their dreams come true?

R254 - Thibk that quote was from Magda - and she’s hardly insignificant! She’s the queen of the fash mag slags!

R255, if we start admonishing everyone who has repeated a previously posted line, we will fill up the thread in no time. Let it be.

Even I gave up. More champagne for Lulu, I say!

Shomeone took the shteering wheel (as Pats drops in the background)

Get CABS!

It’s Madonna dahling

Sweetie dahling

Let’s get celebritied up!

A carTOON??!

My lips are sealed (mimics zipping her lips)

You’ll do Hello Magazine won’t you?

(Unzips) oh, yeah.

Do you smell honey?

[quote]"If the models get any younger,Pats,they'll be chucking fetuses down the catwalk".

Oh, dear

Britt

Pats

Bri

Pat

Br

Pa

She’s the queen of minimalismum!

I’m just caught up in the drama!

I’m chanting as we speak

There should be another thread on just the visuals:

Edie entering a store, walking through it without stopping or blinking, and exiting on the other end with two handfuls of shopping bags.

Falling into the open grave

Falling out of cars

Taking a chauffeured car to go to the next corner

Parking across sidewalks

And all of Bubble’s outfits

Olive oil, dahling

(Entering supermarket, by the shopping carts)

...Hello?

Aaah Smitty, you always know how to make me laugh!

She’s the one who turned you into this...POTATO that we see before us.

Edina to Patsy:

"It makes a difference, darling, a mixed-race baby is the finest accessory a person in my position could ever have, sweetheart! Oh, my God, it's the must-have of the season! It's the CHANELLLLL of babies!

R270 no it was Carmen.

r287, I also love the sight gag of them pushing a whole line of about 20 shopping carts down the aisle.

"MILK?"

Kids in priz.

"Found yourself then?"

"Ta da!"

Couple of weeks I'll be bendy like Madonna.

That dilapidatary cream is doing nothing at all!

“Is it a bee?”

"I thought it was an old bit of laundry."

"I am forced to sleep with these corpses."

What do you mean? She's got the whip!

KETTLE CRISPS?

Wheels don't buckle on their own.

Priscilla Presley, do you know why she wears gloves darling? Liver Spots.

The tits are bigger than mine, Eddy, but otherwise it’s just fantastic!

I have something a little softer next time you want to "use the bathroom"! (nods)

Toilet paper?

Edwoona

Only because he looked better in them.

She's here Eddie and it's better than you could hope? Is she fat? Better, she's blind!

Just the one dear?

"Money, tickets, passport, Money, tickets, passport" has become a thing in my family at the last minute when traveling.

Yeah it's been my mantra for a while. Not just while traveling though. I'll do it anywhere I'm rushed.

Skinny balinky long legs, big banana feet.

Bring me a...

A wot!

Bring me...

A knitting needle?

A KNITTING NEEDLE!!!

Like a bird, on a wire.

Health health health, dahling.

Midwife: I've got an antenatal clinic to get to—30 sweaty, wobbling women. Squatting on the floor, focusing on their exit holes. All believing they can breathe their way through childbirth. I tell 'em, "When push comes to shove, you'll be screamin' for drugs and shittin' the bed!"

Bill's thrilled, he loves huge openings.

Pats: What year?

Saffy: 1972.

Pats: [bold]WHAT MONTH?[/bold]

Saffy: January.

Pats: Oh, that's OK.

No, no, no, mate, I don't even get outta bed and piss for that kinda money.

Mom, what was Patsy?

I need a slash

What the buggery bollocks is this?

"It's because you couldn't remember my name for the first six months!" (something like that.)

Eddie: I did tell you the facts of life didn't I sweetie?

Saffie: If you mean that time you sat on my bed and shook me awake at two in the morning, stoned out of your brain, and slurred into my ear 'By the way sweetie, people have it off,' then yes, you told me the facts of life.

Jackie's "Pats, I'm 72!" is so shocking because at that instant, Jackie is really 72. She is tired and worn out for real. Brilliant line reading.

I can feel one of my heads coming on. Have you any aspirin? Or some of that homophobic remedy you gave me last time?

I mean it's pathetic these older women struggling to look 25.

I was in labor so long, they had to shave me twice.

This is the one we liked (pointing at a bottle of wine) and this is the one we didn’t like...we didn’t like that one (moving aside TWO empty bottles).

Betty Boo and Dannii Minogue did their best, but FRANKLY....

Patsy: "You know, one snap of my fingers and I can raise hemlines so high, that the world is your gynaecologist."

Get ready for this, sweetie.

I'm not happy!

I’ll be the judge of that.

"Second-hand goods, can't keep YOUR hands off SECOND-HAND GOODS!"

I see you're on castors these days, how cute. I think they're a great way for hauling around big large hefty objects, don't you?

I bless the wonder of life and the newness of living.

This whole dialog had me rolling. I don't know why I found it so funny. Edina is in the foreground muttering while Saffy and her friend are talking.

Sarah: Jed might be around tomorrow night, as he and I sort of... hang out a bit, you know. Catching up on lecture notes and that sort of thing.

Saffie: Ooh...!

Sarah: No, nothing like that. I know what you're thinking.

Eddie: You may be sorely disappointed there.

Sarah: Although, the other night... He did get locked up in our part of the hall.

Eddie: Poor bastard!

Sarah: And he did have to sleep on the floor in my room, but...

Eddie: Only because he couldn't chew through the restraints with his bare teeth, I should think.

Sarah: You see, Jed's really, really lovely...

Eddie: [to Saffron] Could you just shut Titicaca up here for a second?

Can you manage the stairs with your Gucci Hooves....?

She’s BLIND!

You have been asleep for two days!

I cast OUT your cancer!

I cast OUT your diabeedus!

I want to show you my collection.

Oi, shopgirl!

Bubble: Minnie Driver? Is it a dwarf?

Clear surfaces!!!!!

Gran: "To this day, I can't pass an electrical outlet without wanting to:" (mimes sticking her fingers inside the holes with a big smile on her face.)

Pats is describing a small shop with chiffon and terra cotta pots in the window display to Eddie.

"And what do they sell, Pats?"

"Chiffon and terra cotta pots" comes the reply.

Your epi-tomb.

"Skin......is in ...?"

"Ten Tips for Troubled Toenails"

I better make this quick I've got a lingerie opening and a feminine wash launch to get to by six, and all this with my working champagne lunch with Anouska bloody Hempel floating about here.

We all sat around and ate free foreign crap, then vomited.

Shitty bit of coastline, ruined by patronising English gits.

You must see the real Marrakesh... Everything from sabre wielding horsemen, to the Elizabeth Taylor Caftan Museum.

Qu’est ce que vous faites ici?

Again, again! *SLAP* *SLAP* *SLAP* *SLAP* *SLAP* *SLAP* *SLAP* *SLAP* *SLAP* *SLAP* *SLAP* *SLAP* *SLAP*

Half of these lines aren't insignificant and the other half aren't quoted correctly. Great job, sweeties.

Carmel Rodriguez of Bunter, Ohio!

Considering it's "Tickets, money, passport", R311, it's a wonder you ever get anywhere.

I mean, an entire population just screaming out for reasonably priced kids casuals. I don't know why Gap hasnt spotted the hole in the market.

I don't know. I'm just caught up in the drama.

Did everyone know what a "Cagoul" was but me? (Also Kagool.) Was it Jackie who had an ex-bf turned into a small kagool according to Pats?

No, it was a small-waisted evening coat with Chanel buttons.

I had to look it up, R360. Now I try to pepper it into every conversation. That and culottes.

R360 As in life, he was a tight fit that never suited her.

Sex is fun!

Prada, Gucci, Armani, Versace--shit kitsch with Mafia money.

Has anyone ever told you you look like Sean Connery?

Give me the talking stick!

Give me the stick, I’ll BUY the stick!

Hack off my tits, HACK OFF MY TITS!

Not dead yet!

Bubble to Minnie Driver, Wipe your feet!

Suns so bright it's almost blinding... "Like shards of glass piercing the clouds". Every second of my journey here is blazoned on my memory. Oh, I feel fantastic!

Champs, r372?

Oh yeah (lights cigarette)

Oh yeah, I get dates!

And who was it? Anyone we should have heard of? The Beatles, The Stones, The Rolling Who?

Make Mommy some tea!

You were never a Bond Girl.

Yeah babe, "Bond Meets Black Emanuelle".

Chakhani, it's Edina. Green. Thank you, darling.

This is a world where Carol Vorderman is a sex symbol and St Tropez is a bottle of fake tan.

instant coffee is just old beans that have been cremated!

You'll be treated like film stars! Like Ava Gardener, and um... Companion.

Oh Danny, is Patsy there?

I HATE France!

The only label she wears is drip dry.

Stop it or you'll break my vagina.

[quote]Fuck me, it's my day off.

morning TV? If they could market that into a pill form, Switzerland would be plunged into a recession.

You and your little gremlin generation, here. What will your legacy be?

Cross her off, she screwed me. Oh, put him in, he screwed me.

I am feeling a little ... peckish

Paula Yates, her new book "If I Can't Have a Career Why Should They?" There's a party, and she will be expressing milk throughout.

Beget the son and heir!

And Lulu’s like THAT sweetie.

Darling, did you get that lovely little?.... (Harrods hampster) Darling, little Harrods Hapster?

-HAMPER.

You want to save the Earth? Use that fat bottom of yours to plug up the Ozone layer!

You can't get tiles like that at Fired Earth for love nor money anymore, even in Holland Park.

All that money and she still has a mustache!

Pops into my head from time to time and still makes me laugh:

Eddie: Inside of me there is a thin person screaming to get out. June: Just the one, dear?

The episode where Patsy gives the interview to "Hello Magazine" in face tape about an affair/fling she had with a politician. The interviewer feigns compassion and tells her it's amazing she can get up in the morning after all the negative publicity and public onslaught of attention she was getting over the story, to which perennial lush Patsy looks off to the side pensively and says: "It's amazing I can get up at all."

Yeah, but is it ART? Eddy?

Is it a hat?

Will it be with me forever?

“Just for once I want to take my clothes off and not be marked by them.”

Are you still with us? (to the mother)

Surfaces! Surfaces! (Edina preparing her home prior to a visit by her anal-retentive friend, husband, and baby.)

I’m Gestalt

I’m ga-going!

Its”clear surfaces” dahling at r403

“Just the one, dear?”

"YOU WILL TOO EAT YOUR SISTER'S PUSSY IF SHE GETS HORNY!"

Patsy,about Saffy: "She is a virgin in a world where men will turn to soft fruit for pleasure!"

A little bit of Porn!

I should only be eating organic food, food with the dirt still on it, darling

I kept seeing these Italian housewife's taking their bras off. I thought this can't be "Challenge Anneka".

Mark 'em up, sell 'em on.

NHS! NHS! NHS! Not on my money.

Razzle???

Eddie, your stomach is like a dog that doesn't know when it's going to be fed, so it just hangs around until you want to kick it.

OY! PEANUTS... Bloody French bitch.

- What's in there?

- Ça c'est la poubelle, madame.

- Yeah, we'll have two of those.

- Vous desirez des cacahouettes?

- No. Oi, peanuts! Sullen, stingy, bloody French bitch!

and also:

- DNA! Well, take it away!

- Hey, hey, hey, hey!

I can see the headline now: Home Alone Mother Left to Fend for Herself, While Goodtime Daughter Shacks Up 'Student-Style'. "I left her with a neighbour and friend," she said. Oh yes...

You little piece of dribble piss.

Patsy to Saffy

Edina: These are new! Tell her, Saffy, darling. The seventies are back!

Mrs. Monsoon: Oh, does that mean you'll be voting Labour again, dear?

We should have pushed it THROUGH!

"Darling, darling, I'm having a hot flash!"

"You're standing too close to the kettle."

“I’m launching Erica Jong’s new book ‘Sex With Myself’ at Sticky Fingers. Bill’s thrilled – he loves huge openings!”

"Pain au chocolat."

"Sweetie, darling, let me in. SWEETIE DARLING LET ME IN!"

Pats, I’m 72.

PATSY: Oh my god, there's something horrible on the stairs!

SAFFY: It's me!

PATSY: I'm not blind.

also, when the lights go out on Eddie and Patsy's French trip:

EDDIE: Aaargh! Straw Dogs!

Oh god, that's typical isn't? Whenever you go bloody abroad, the slightest suggestion of a thunderstorm and all the bloody lights go out! Well, that's typical, isn't it? Oh yes, let's all join Europe so the lights can bloody go out everywhere! Sieg Heil! The Federal State!

"...dirt-cheap plates and rugs..."

"Easy-going sex with GORGEOUS underage youths."

You look like a sad reject from Ready, Steady, Go.

"Oh! It's a small shoe!"

"Unless that's old Titicaca Two-Ways."

The mood for the next edition: Sex, bitch, aristo, sex, punk, whore, bitch, prossie, lessie, punk, tart, slut. Oh but Alex… Alex,with lovely shoes.

It's in a white box (awkwardly looking for it in a totally white room).

Ruby Wax (voice on the radio) ... vomit on my shoe

Eddie: You know what that means? Saff has to play my daughter.

INTERVIEWER: In a few minutes we'll be talking to our sports personality of the year...

PATSY: Contradiction in terms.

Staylene - "the non fat fat-eating product for the faith community"

"Steady, Bo!"

I should only be eating organic food, food with the dirt still on it, darling.

R426: “Oh my god, what does that make ME then??”

Leave her, leave her, she's too slow.

Bunter, Ohio

"Here we come - Val d'Isère!"

"Fash mag slag"

Bubble: Hoover vacuum's brooooke!

Edie: How did that happen?

Bubble: Fell out of the window while I was doing sills.

"A galaxy of excess flubber!"

"Is your hair on purpose?"

"Santa?" - "Santé."

"And you'll turn into me, dear."

"Bettina and Max! Clear! Clear! Clear! Clear!"

"It all looks like bollocks so it's got to be worth something."

She's talking to you!

SAFFY: Get away from him, he's too clever for you.

PATSY: Too [italic]small[/italic]. I expect sex with him would be a rather localised experience.

Is that a cigarette?! And booze!?

- Where am I here?

- In my gracious drawing room.

"Bric 'n' Brac 'n' Knick 'n' Knack 'n' [italic]Things[/italic]? Any old junk taken." Why don't you trade yourself in?

- Nothing like a good old sex scandal. Bit more exciting than the ones in my day.

- God, what was it in your day? "Woman Shows Ankle to Chimney Sweep Shock"?

- In my day they could incarcerate you in a high-security asylum just for not having a whiter-than-white wash. - Gran! - Oh yes, dear. And in those days it was the bromide sedatives or ECT. - What's ECT? - Electric Shock Treatment, dear. It's all highly addictive. I still can't pass a plug socket without getting the urge to put my finger in. - Well I wish you would!

"It started because you couldn't remember my name for the first three years."

"Don't be ridiculous, you didn't have a name for the first four. It. Thing. Thing-It."

I just wanted some fennel twig tea or something, I don't know.

So many great lines I forgot. I can’t watch it now because it is so over the top acted like Benny Hill. Reading it is actually funnier.

Lacroix, darling, Lacroix.

But I did see your sister the other day, on that Saga Tour of Sizewell B. It was very good, dear, they allowed us to push the buttons.

Well, she doesn't want your sort of [italic]old woman[/italic] company. You're a burden to her, you know. You should get out and hang out with people your own age for once. Hopefully she'll get horribly lonely and find a life, alright?

"Get a haircut and a boiler suit so I don't keep having to explain you to my friends, will you darling?"

"I'M going to Disneyworld!!"

-Nurse Bo.

The Chatterley Series: Young Lady Chatterley, Old Lady Chatterley, and Lady Chatterley Doesn't Live Here Anymore...

"I don't want to see the foundations of the General Studies room!"

“Is this the car clamp club?!”

And then soon after…

“My point is… why do I pay taxes?!”