I think my cat judges me

I don't blame your cat one bit. I would too.

She's judging you for being such a frau.

What does she know that we don't know? Spill.

It's not just the cat.

haha. They say when your cat blinks at you they are saying "I love you." Is he in mid-blink?

Sorry, she.

Trust your instincts.

Looks like my tabby who judges me also. She is very nice with other cats, but she bosses me around.

Cats have low tolerance for stupid. They also think we look weird without clothes.

Of course your cat judges you, and judges you unsatisfactorily. You are the Staff your cat did not hire, and your cat will never approve of the job you are doing, not wholly. You can't be fired though, we are union and possess the opposable thumbs.

Sadly, my cats have given up on judging me. They've deemed me beyond hopeless and aren't even bothered nowadays.

She also thinks you stink and bathes herself every time you pet her.

I look for 5 things in a slave:

Do I get consistently decent food Do I get entertainment such as rodents, small birds, boxes and bags Do I get a private tidy place to do my business Do I get a comfy quiet place to sleep Will you leave me alone

check check check check check

Other than that I don't give a rat's ass about ya.

My cat wants me around all day if possible. She has early kidney disease and hungry all the time. She knows that if she sits by her dish, she wants more food. I just see to it that gets anything she wants to eat. Even at night, she has a complete tray of mini bowls with snacks to tide her until I wake up or she wakes me up.

You sound very sweet, R14. Your cat has changed her mind about you; she's come to think of you as family instead of as The Help.

Of course your cat is judging you. She’s also judging your friends, family, mailman, neighbors, random strangers passing the window.... it’s like she’s got an invisible little Judge Judy robe on and you’re getting the aren’t-you-ashamed-of-yourself stink eye.

It’s in a cat’s job description. Eat, sleep, poop, judge.

Everyone's cat judges them, and judges them harshly.

Displeased.

Disgusted.

Disappointed.

Disturbed.

Well I'm not paralyzed but I seem to be struck by you

I want to make you move because you're standing still

If your purring matches what your paws can do

You'll probably move right through

Me on my way to you!

Dissatisfied.

Don't fuck with me fellas!

"You read stupid shit and have B.O."

I have had it with your bullshit.

This is how far I'll go to get the fuck away from you.

Cats are the sassy gay men of the animal kingdom. They are all attitude, they are impeccably groomed, and they are going to present hole whether you want it or not.

R15 Seconded. R14 is sweet.

This never gets old

This thread is really funny to me!

My cat is the cuntiest cat, she fucking stares at me with this evil face. She only acts nice when she hears me grabbing a plate I miss ziggy my little cat died last year he was so sweet and would seek me out for affection and purred all the time. Female pets are cunts! Bitch acts like she’s doing me a favor when she lets me pet her after a while she’s like ENOUGH! You are free to leave or I’ll leave you bleeding .

Your cat is disgusted by your ways, and she's right.

Well you judger her, so it's only fair.

[quote]I think my cat judges me

So does mine.

I just judge her right back.

My cat's name is Judy because bitch judges like no one else. She's nice to me and the partner but ignores certain people if they come to the house. We've learned she has impeccable judgment when it comes to dumbass or jerky people. We are not spared.

Your cat knows what you did

Be grateful she can't talk OP or she'd not only judge you but do so in complete silence.

Domesticated? Good, the cat can use you.

A friend had this dream of his cat one night: the cat was human-sized and smoking a cigar in the lounger. He turns to my friend and drawing on the cigar while extruding his claws, he drawls out "We really must talk about that food you've been giving me." My friend changed up the canned food the next day.

lol, r40.

This whole thread is funny and I dislike cats.

Are you disrespecting her, OP?

She has ceaseless fantasies about plucking your jugular with a sharp nail while you sleep, but she knows that if she killed the help no one would clean up her shit.

You want to know the meaning of stubborn? Put a leash on a cat.

R32 My female cat is not like that at all, she crawls onto my lap and can sit there for hours, she wants me to pet her and sometimes she falls asleep too.

I had a cat that used to hide behind the curtain and box the ears of people who would sit in a certain chair in the kitchen. We tried to warn people.

R46 If I were your guest/your cat’s victim, I would punch it right in its pretty little face. Sending an animal assassin a cease-and-desist order in the universal language of impact is not animal abuse. It’s communication!

R47, that cat was ninja. He boxed and ran, and it didn't hurt as much as startle. Don't over react. I agree it was a bit much, but funny as fucking hell when it happened.

He also didn't use claws out. Bitch knew his business.

R49 The first guy I “dated” had an ambush cat that would slash me and run. I have no idea if that cat (the only one that ever scratched me) is responsible, but I found out many years later that I had had a Bartonella infection for years. Bartonella is also called “cat scratch fever,” and it can be transmitted by biting flies, fleas and ticks, too—and I did have Lyme disease, as well—but it’s primarily contracted from actual cat scratches. It caused severe neurological and psychiatric problems and it scarred my skin with stretch mark-like striae all over my body. They look just like this photo and are all over me from my shoulders to my chest, flanks, abdomen and I even have some on my knees. I am honestly terrified of cat scratches now.

Punk ass cats.

R50, that's pretty bad. Sounds like you need to stay away from cats, fleas, flies and ticks.

R52 And I do. You’d be wise to do the same.

I can’t actually be around cats anymore, anyway. I agreed to cat sit for my aunt in the 2000s and my throat closed up while I was at her house. I wasn’t allergic in my youth but now I can’t be in the same room as a cat.

No thanks, R53, I have my lovely girl and she amuses and loves me. I handle the occasional scratch with hydrogen peroxide. Not sure why you're on this thread if you don't have a cat, however. There is a thread here for hateful people about cats. Perhaps you'd prefer that one? The search function should get you there. Something like 'who else can't stand cats?' is the title.

I'd give you the link, but it's current and I don't think you need my help, or anyone else's, for that matter.

Gay male cats are the "judgiest." (And they despise anyone who uses that Kardashian word).

R40 reminds me that the most judgmental cat in literature must be Behemoth in The Master and Margarita (although he is only impersonating a cat).

Sharkeisha, NO!

My friend's cat hated me for 8 years. I went and sat in his favourite chair. Cats never forget

I worked a midnight shift and my cat worked days. It was not a match made in heaven when she wanted to play at 2AM. I found her a good home, but not before she got revenge for my elbow off the bed by shredding my pillow. Peaches could be a pip.

Cats are more beautiful animals and they know it.

Saki's "Tobermory" (1911) nails it.

R51, that was classic. I am not a fan of babies and those cats know what they are doing. They are a completely beautiful, brilliant, bitchy species.

Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

OP, that's what cats are for!

Agreed, R61. Tobermory was the perfect depiction of a cat if one happened to learn to speak. Saki hit the nail on the head.

One of my favorite cat videos.

Awww r45 you’re lucky I loved my little cat that would sleep on my lap he wouldn’t want to get off I would literally sit for hours just not to wake him lol. I know not all female cats are cunts but all the female pets I’ve had from cats to hamsters were mean or but me lol

Bit*

My cat has a strong personality, is very opinionated and bossy. Once he had an abscess from a fight (he is outdoors during the day and occasionally gets in a fight) and had to wear a cone for a week. He was deeply humiliated and ashamed and slunk along the baseboards in abject humiliation. He blamed me and for a couple of months after the shameful incident refused to sleep cuddled up with me as he had formerly. There was nothing I could do, he looked upon me with disdain. Then one night he jumped onto the foot of the bed, his back to me (I was in bed), sat there for a while, let out a quick squawking meow, then turned and leaped into my arms. All was forgiven, I got my loving kitty back.

Another time he injured his leg and came home from the vet with an ace bandage and a cone. Within two minutes he had the cone off and by morning he had chewed off the ace bandage. I realize this when I got up and he frantically danced about my legs with the ace bandage clinging to his leg held on by a piece of tape. I pulled it off, he was happy, he healed naturally and didn't hold it against me. His forgiveness from the first episode seems to be permanent. He now knows when he's hurt or ill that I am his savior. I love that big silly thing.

Cats rule

Cats are sooooo cute.

I also like how you have to earn a cat's love and trust.