Getting a Guido Dog for visually impaired parent

I don't want to be disrespectful, but are you serious? Or do you actually want an Italian pup?

Will he want to put gravy on the pasta?

A Guido dog might be a bit unreliable

Is this some kind of slur ?......

Sorry..... ^^^^^

leave the dog, take the cannoli.

DOH! Damn autocorrect!

Guide dog!

You could get a Guido AND a dog

Too late, OP.

On the merits: get in touch with the Guide Dog Association of America, located (I think) in Morristown, NJ and probably google-able. Ask what their standards are for providing a dog and see if your dad's condition qualifies. I think it's a difficult standard to meet, but it can't hurt to get the facts from a more knowledgeable source than the DL queens.

Make sure you accessorize the dog with plenty of gold chains!

also it's Graxy

well then the dog wouldn't be white if it's a Guido. Is your dad at all racist?

Guido dogs are difficult when it comes to caring for them. You have to take them to the tanning salon at least every 2-3 days and give them weekly baths to get the hair gel out of their fur.

Is there going to be a canine Jersey Shore show?

Which species will become the Situation?

Be nice. OP's right eye gets the E and the O keys mixed up. Congenital.

Snooki dog is the first member added to the New Jersey Shore cast.

Make sure it wears tons of gold chains.

OP: www.seeingeye.org. this is the training center for dogs in Morristown, NJ.

They're a bit high maintenance. They require a slow cooked, 5 hour meat sauce to be served every sunday.

OP perhaps you could get 2 dogs one for your father and one for you. Your dog will have to be a good typist.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

You can apply or get information from your nearest Lions Club. The waiting list is extensive, and there are qualifications to meet. Such as: Your dad may or may not be too old for one. The dog caregiver has to be able to meet basic needs and be able to give affection to the dog. The dog needs annual checkups, and shots. Any injuries need to be taken care of, they’re giving their life for someone they’re not supposed to suffer til enough money is saved to take to the vet. I was witness once to an older woman who had taken to slapping her dog when it moved at a meeting. I could see the dog was under a lot of stress. His fur was pulled out from anxiety, and he was quite patchy. I felt so bad for him. I only met that pair once, and never got her name or I would’ve reported it.

Still having eyesight in one eye does not necessarily qualify him. There are people who are legally blind in both, and guide dog associations may deem the night time walks an inconvenience, but not a necessity. They are also not trained to defend a person against attackers either. They can only do their best to try and remove their owner from further harm.

The dogs are young when trained. They’re placed after heavy training, and an assessed good match. They only serve so many years, then they are to be given up to a new home that will see to it their retirement years are normal and playful. Then back on the waiting list a person goes. It takes many thousands of manpower dollars to train a dog, and there are backlogs in many places.

....

Guido dogs are a good alternatives because they grew up knowing the consequence of fucking up was sleeping with the fishes.

.........

If your parent is visually impaired, they would not be able to tell whether it was a Guido dog or not. I hear Guido cats are quite lovely too.

This title is funny. Reminds me of the autocorrect typo that started the "Jackie on assistance" meme.

R28 is onto something. You may want to get him a guido cat, too!

Just get a dog. It doesn't need to have a degree.

And you can't make their meat sauce while you are on your period. EVER!

I dunno OP. Guido dogs tend to be a bit loud and gesticulate with their paws a lot.

Make sure you have plenty of lasagna on hand.

Get a Wasp dog instead. They're not greasy, quieter, commit less crime, and are allowed at the country club.

[quote] Getting a Guido Dog for visually impaired parent

[quote] DOH! Damn autocorrect!

[quote] Guide dog! [quote] —OP

Fawget-abowd-id!

I saw this on Twitter and came running to DL. I was not disappointed.

Does the Guido Dog reek of "expensive" men's cologne, Op?

Wouldn't a guido dog be the coolest guide dog ever?

Hey! Yo! We're walking over here! You blind, too?

Op, you have to, HAVE TO, name the Guido Dog, "Uncle Jr." !

This Aryan dog is far superior.

If you get the Guido Dog from one of those places in Jersey:

"Will ya just watch the fur? Ya know, I work on my fur a long time, and he hits it."

PUG-etaboudit!

He'll need a proper bed.

The good thing about a Guido Dog is that when your dad doesn't need him the dog can have another job on the side.

You can get him a pet, but the American Guide Dog association is not going to give a dog to someone with perfect vision in one eye. Sorry, ain't gonna happen.

Now you know what to name the dog, when you do get him.

One thing's for sure, that dog's definitely not white.

[quote] the American Guide Dog association is not going to give a dog to someone with perfect vision in one eye. Sorry, ain't gonna happen.

Oh, yeah? Well the fuck American Guide Dog Association!

We'll make your dad an offer he can't refuse!

Instead of barking it says "How YOU doin'?"

Guido dogs will only ride in black Cadillacs you may have to buy a new car.

Fahgeddaboudit. Guido dogs are for closers.

The new Thug Duck.

Here's a Hitler cat for the Aryan dog

Name him Vito, OP.

It will never ever love your elderly father as much as it loves its mother.

Just know that going in.

Fair warning. Your dog may have a big appetite for pasta.

I'm sure a screenwriter somewhere is writing down ideas about a show with a talking guido dog...

Get the dog some brass knuckles and a pinkie ring.

Can't you be a good Catholic for 15 fucking minutes?

If the dog turns out to be Guidette, you might want to consider an appropriate abode that befits a swarthy princess. Perhaps a "Married to the Mob" dog house?

The dog is walking along, "hey yo, you got a little Italian in you, honey? you want some?" to all the poodles

Your kibbles will never be as good as my grandma's.

Your blind dad will trip over the dog and die.

I have a guido dog, he's name's Al Pawcino.

Of course, Guido Dog!

Guido with a dog (possibly a guido dog).

Is it from New Jersey? Does he go to self tanning salons?

Hoo Haa!

Joey the Guido Dog

Wait. If you’re father has poor night vision, you’re not wanting the dog to help him drive at night, are you? Most of them can’t even reach the pedal. They also tend to run stop signs since they can’t see the colour red.

Well, there is the added benefit of the guido dog paying a visit to break the knees of the dogs of neighbors your dad doesn't like.

Guido dogs prefer to work with the blind. That way there aren't any witnesses, if you know what I mean.

Has OP been rubbed out yet?

I just want to thank you all for making me laugh all day.

Check dat mutt's breedin' papers, don't want its mom ta be a [italic]prostitution whore![/italic]

Don't ever insult a guido dog by calling his mother a whore, R77, and especially not a [italic] bitch! [/italic]

yep, guide dogs are very expensive and time-intensive to train so bear that in mind, there may be a waiting list or your dad may not even qualify.

^Hear that, OP? You're better off with a guido dog.

You can probably get one under the table, no waiting list needed!

The only true Guido dog.

Guido dogs are definiely preferable to Polack dogs. Polack dogs for the blind insist that the owner lead the way.

Pssst, what do you wanna bet that OP is the one who needs a seeing eye dog?

OP if you want a Guido dog cheap you can probably find one for sale that has "fallen off a truck".

The pup will only want to GTL

Here ya go. An entire litter to pick from.

If you want a Guido dog, you have to know the proper process. Contact your local Dogfather. He'll take care of you.

An English bulldog as a Guido? We think not.

Are you questioning the Dogfather?! He made his bones back when you were going out with cheerleaders!

Feed him prozhoot'!

"That's my dog, Kay; that's not me. "

"Don't ask me about my business!" As the dog kicks grass and dirt around after taking a dump.

"Are YOU barking at ME?!"

This is the most tormented dog I have ever known. I'm in love with this dog, but he doesn't know that, 'cause I never told him, 'cause he could never love anybody since he lost his paw and his bitch.

[quote]The dog is walking along, "hey yo, you got a little Italian in you, honey? you want some?" to all the poodles

The Guido Dog probably wouldn't say that to boy poodles, but would still do it with them in the alley or in the woods.

I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?

R95 There are probably Gay Guido dogs just as there are lots of Gay Guidos.

And there shit sure are Guido Dogs that are gay but pretend they're not, which, as you know, was the point.

You can tell which Guido dogs are gay they are sniffing the butts of other male dogs.

Is your dad a fan of the Jersey Shore, OP?

Poor op

Do Guido dogs prefer sauce ort gravy?

Guido

[quote]well then the dog wouldn't be white if it's a Guido. Is your dad at all racist?

You're obviously not Italian.

R 96 I’m sure you are getting ready to rub me out for the funny comment. Never been so happy to be anonymous. You sharp dresser, you....

Hold da cannoli!

Guido dogs always reek of Axe Body Spray. Get a guide dog instead.

Do Guido dogs have tiny diamond ear studs?

Got a guido dog yet? Woof, yo!

Funny thread.

But here is good information from Guiding Eyes for the Blind on eligibility.

i found guido dogs from sicily to be extremely loyal once they've been properly inducted in the family,

So did you get the guido dog for your dad, OP?

Do Guido dogs go to mass on Easter Sunday?