How Do You Keep The Music Playing?

Music, did you say?

Start Smoking, Get Asthma, if you have Allergies stop taking medicine, the worse the sense of smell & more your nostrils are closed off the better for a long term relationship.

STOP PRETENDING

get real

Is OP twelve?

"He's a great guy?" Sounds like he is more of a close friend of yours rather than a boyfriend. Do you love him? Do you still laugh and have fun together? If your answer to either of these two questions is, "I guess so" then you need to move on so both of you can find someone else.

Hopefully your boyfriend sets you on fire while you are sleeping, after he chokes you to death lol. Problem solved.

This and the other "Is Farting Grounds for Ending a Relationship" threads convince me that the average DLer is a porn-addicted virgin.

Either that or we have a 10-year old troll who just likes typing the word "fart" a lot.

Unless you're rimming him when he farts, really OP... what's the problem?

You need to grow up. But you sound like a narcissist, so you never will.

Just remember nobody else will ever love you. Ever.

Most of you are going to die alone anyway so don't worry about it.

I’m upset I feel this way too. Why do you think I am asking for advice? I feel bad that I can’t get over this. 😞. I realize it’s not right. He hasn’t done anything and I’m sure he was embarrassed too.

Some how I get the feeling you're really young, OP, and you don't have brothers and haven't played sports or been in the military or any other environment where you're around a lot of naked dudes in their raw natural state.

You're going to have to get over this squeamishness or learn to get all your satisfaction from porn or toys, because that's just the human body. It emits unpleasant smells and gets hairs in weird spots--and so do you. I'm sorry to have to break this to you, I know it must be traumatic especially since your sweat smells like Chanel #5 and you shit strawberry ice cream.

It saddens me to think you may never know the hilarity of doing a Dutch oven on your husband.

This is your biggest problem?! Time to grow up!

Your poor bf! I did that once, and I was mortified!

"If you faint in the day of adversity then thy strength is small".

True words.

OP I was the same way when I was a young gayling. By the time you hit 35 and the dating pool is smaller you learn to adjust.

We've been together 10 years and are still as in love as we were, although certain things slow down or almost disappear. We hardly ever passionately kiss anymore, which is a shame because I like it; he doesn't. But the sex is still great, although it occurs only a couple times a month now, instead of a couple times a week.

I've accepted this happens as people get older, and I can't imagine growing old with anyone else.

I don’t like farting either. We don’t walk around cutting farts outside the bathroom because we’re not animals. We don’t shit with the door open either. And yes I had brothers and yes I was on sports teams and cub scouts.

My husband, daughter, and I have epic farting contests until one of us has to run to the bathroom. We love each other unconditionally, even when the living room smells like a port-a-potty.

R20 You're fucking disgusting. Do you live in a trailer?

Farting in front of people intentionally is a deal breaker to me personally, because I like good manners, and I don't like farts. But accidental farts? What exactly are you going to do when a real problem arises in your relationship? Also, next time you fart, are you going to break up with yourself or jump out of a window, or do you not fart?

I gave a coworker a ride to his car the other day, and as he got in he accidentally farted. It was funny, but he was sooooo embarrassed. He would not stop apologizing, which then made it worse over just laughing it off and moving on.

Coulda been worse OP.

^^ he also avoided me at work after this. Like, really? HE's the one who farted, not me!

Do you not have a dog you can blame it on?

R26 made me remember a joke.

A nervous boy goes to his girlfriend's house to visit her parents for the first time. When he got to the house he was having a nervous stomach and was terrified he was going to fart in front of her family.

When he went into the living room and was introduced the girl's father merely grunted in his direction which made his stomach even worse.

The boy takes a seat and the family dog wanders over and lays underneath the chair. All of a sudden the poor boys rips a loud smelly fart. The girl's father shouts, "Spot!"

The boy figures he's safe and the father thought the dog farted, so he decides to rip another big bad one. Again the girl's father shouts, "Spot!"

The boy figures he's in luck so he tears off another good one and suddenly the girl's father shouts, "Spot, get out from under that chair before he shits on you!"

OP here - just trying to do get over it. I realize it’s stupid. After it happened I made an excuse and went home. I just sat there, dazed. I basically laid in bed all day wondering what I was going to do.

I think I am too much of a romantic and had this idealized concept of him. So when he tooted it was just a reality check.

I really love him and yes I’m young so I apologize if some of you guys think I am being ridiculous. Not all of us came to this earth a fullt evolved being. You’d think you’d be a little gracious for some of us that struggle and are looking for help.

Should I talk to him about it and tell him how I feel? I think if I saw him pick his nose or if he had really bad diarrhea I would really be grossed out too.

I just feel like there are lines of intimacy and if I want to remain sexually attracted to him I shouldn’t have to watch him do gross things I know we all do. I don’t think it’s funny like some people.

R28 is a character in a Chekhov play.

You sound too delicate for a relationship with another human, OP. I recommend medication and a full size, latex mandoll. You're welcome!

Your boyfriend is keeping the music playing with farts

I knew a girl who had a farting boyfriend. But then she died.

A guy I was seeing lifted his leg and ripped a huge fart while we were laying in bed after sex. 🤮

I ghosted him after that. Finally he texted me:

“Was it the FART??!!”

I responded with 👍 and never heard from him again.

At least he didn't do it while you rimmed him, r33.

If you can't fart in front of a spouse/long term BF then you have issues.

I don't mean that we should all start cracking ass every chance possible and/or to rip one in their faces. But if an escapee fart or one outdoors makes one clutch their pearls, then that's kinda crazy.

Dump him OP, it will only get worse.

[quote]So when he tooted it was just a reality check.

Just wait until he takes off his shoes after a long day of work! You’ll need WEEKS of therapy!

This is an example of an Extra Smelly Tail

I read an article which detailed traits when a couple starts to become more comfortable with each other.

One of them was that they felt more at ease letting a fart in front of each other.

Let it go, OP

I thought that this thread was gonna be about Patti Austin.

OP, can we talk?

And tell me how year after year You're sure your heart won't fall apart Each time you hear his fart?

Bravo's r43...

He farts? LEAVE HIM.

What is he eating that is causing such hideous farts, OP?

“Damn, girl - did you eat a bag of raw broccoli before coming out on stage?”

Actually we already had a fight over his smelly shoes. He leaves them outside when he visits now.

I talked to him tonight about how I felt and he is going to start taking Gas-X daily to minimize his chances of farting in front of me.

He’s so good to me! 😍

OP, you're the one who should take gas.

vicodin and vodka.

OP is a nightmare.

OP is a silly 12 year old. Your boyfriend is most likely fucking around on you, especially if you're this delicate.

He sounds like a great guy. You should see if Beano will sponsor your honeymoon!

OP, now that farting and smelly shoes are out of the way, we want you to work on Ball Sweat. you’ll make a perfect boyfriend out of him in a year or two.

He bathes before he comes over and immediately after sex. He uses hand sanitizer on his genital area, taint, and coin slot so he’s always fresh as a daisy! I love him! He’s all the man I need!

[QUOTE] He’s all the man I need

We just went from Austin to Houston.

I was dating a guy and i farted right after he pulled out, it wasn't intentional it just happened. Really ruined the moment and he never called me again.

R57 is it still called a QUEEF if it comes out of the ass and not the pussy?

OP check it out, here’s where you can find Mr Right. As for the music, I’m sure they can install an old-style music box in his asshole.

[quote]After it happened I made an excuse and went home. I just sat there, dazed. I basically laid in bed all day wondering what I was going to do.

Are you a 12-year-old girl?

r58 after a trashy hookup during a spring break trip to south beach, my friends called me “queef” and “queen laqueefrah” until we all graduated and moved away.

that is to say: yes.

OP here. Actually he doesn’t penetrate me. I just put lube on my taint and lay face down on a towel and hold my legs together. He then fucks between my legs until he comes, We both agree much cleaner, safer and hygienic.

I can’t wait until tomorrow! We have a beautiful Valentine’s Day planned! ❤️

R62 is the funniest thing I've read today

This thread is wtf

Farts are natural and you people are way too uptight

OP here - thank you for all the advice.

I get it if some of you guys don’t understand our arrangement and I know I’m a bit sensitive when it comes to body smells, fluids and functions but I can’t help how I feel. I always bathe and brush my teeth and comb my hair so he wakes up to someone he wants to make sweet love to so I do my part for him as well. We are celebrating our golden 4.5 month anniversary. Hard to believe we’ve been together for such a long time!

Happy Valentine’s Day! ❤️

R66 Ta ta, Snowflake.

How old are you OP?

It's easy OP, whenever you plan to be around your boyfriend put under your nose some of that ointment that doctors use when they're about to perform an autopsy on a decomposed body and problem solved

I can actually identify with this (yes, very unfortunately). My ex-BF and I have never farted in front of each other (after 30 years). It would be too disrespectful. But I'm fully expecting that one of us (or both) will be dealing with us, since we're both facing health issues. My poor, very genteel Catholic Mom stopped going to Church once she developed uncontrollable flatulence. She had given up smoking, and started using sugar-free cough-drop lozenges to suck on after she gave up smoking. It was the Xylitol that caused the gas. It upset me (actually, both of us) the first time my Mom farted in my presence. But it was my responsibility to tell her that it was okay, and to get over it, until it eventually became sort of normal for her.

Look, you can make fun of us prim folks. But us prim folks just need to accept there are points where we need to accept nature. The only person in whom I'm comfortable farting in front of is my older brother, and he just says, "Mark stepped on a duck again", and we move forward

Where I live farting causes extreme envy because it means that the person who farted probably ate something.

I actually did fart while bf was rimming me once, and I wanted to die from the embarrassment. We're still together (& he's still happy to toss my salad) ten years later. If OP is legit (smells like EST to me) then I fear he may be too precious to survive this rough and smelly world. It really is not healthy to a) have such unrealistic expectations of a partner, and b) live in such puritanical denial of the human body and its functions.

Don't listen to these savages, OP--gay men should never fart. We're better than that! I too cannot be sexually attracted to a guy after I've heard or smelled him fart. I used to start threads on here asking similar questions to yours, only they'd be promptly deleted and my paid DL membership would be revoked. My how times have changed around here.

There used to be a guy on here who claimed he hasn't farted in six years. You should date him!

I’d love to talk to him. Maybe he can give my bf some tips and strategies!

My husband used to be like you OP. He used to only fart in his sleep laying right next to me. Never when he was awake. He was agast that anybody farted.

Somewhere over the last 25 years, that issue disappeared. Now he can rip one like any other healthy male.

Grow up OP! You sound like a little girl.

hey OP...

BRRRRRRRNNNNNKKK!

That’s right r76, u reminded me of uptight fart-suppressors I’ve known, they were like fart-rockets in their sleep. It’s coming out one way or another!

This is why I sleep in my own, separate bed. Fart near me and you're gonna find yourself by yourself.

OP here - my BF says taking GasX as a daily preventative is working He says he feels a lot more comfortable around me now. It shows how much he loves me to make this sacrifice.