I have a friend who was involved w/him for a time. Friends w/benefits, although the sex sounded creepy and weird. If you can picture a sex life where the guy is flaccid at the point of entry and how depressing that is, it was that kind of thing. Half-assed, and that's if he got up the energy, so to speak, to even attempt entry. It wasn't an exclusive relationship or even a defined thing, but I do remember my skin crawling when I'd hear the details.
He was a dry drunk. He was smart in some ways, went to his AA meetings, but as addicted to drama as any drunk. He was in a custody battle over their son Jack when he hit Melissa Leo in the lobby of her building when he was bringing Jack back from a visit. The reason he was in a custody battle is he was paranoid that the courts were against him, he never listened to his lawyer, never listened to the judge, never did what he was supposed to do, always acted persecuted, and that's how Leo ended up with primary custody, and he never stopped whining and complaining about it. His rationale for hitting her? He wanted to be dragged into court so he could make his case about dad's rights and how the court system drove him to extreme measures to get his chance to be heard. Perfectly rationale, right? He ignored how the court system works - how the judicial system operated. That's how a bad movie or soap opera works. He knew better, but like I said, he'd rather play persecuted and fucked up than do what he needed to do to actually get what he claimed he wanted, which was equal time with his son Jack.
Then he marries this temp from New Jersey, Sharon, after barely meeting her, and they have twins. FF a bunch of years because my friend who knows him moves to L.A. When we next take up the subject of John Heard, she's telling me the marriage with Sharon broke up, that Sharon is now all sympathetic to Melissa Leo, and John Heard is constantly bitching and complaining that the twins have no manners, are spoiled, etc. Of course he didn't contribute at all to bringing them up and teaching them manners.
So of course. When Leo is "winning" and has more time w/Jack than he does, he wants more time w/Jack than anything in the world, and Leo is the enemy. When he can have as much time as he wants with the kids he has w/Sharon, he can't be bothered, he complaints, they're a pain in the ass, blah blah.
I don't know why or how Max died. The family obituary page is weird. Claims he died peacefully in his sleep, but that doesn't happen at 22 w/no mention of a chronic fatal illness. The obit adds that he was in agony over the lack of participation of a father in his life. Why any 22 year old would be in agony over missing the presence of John Heard is one big mystery, but he WAS famous compared to the non-Leo women he married or hung out with, so I guess that made him the star of his family, and when his kid couldn't get his attention the rejection felt that much bigger.