I can't bring myself to go to the hospital to visit my dad and the doctors say he's got weeks to live
My dad is dying and I can't bring myself to visit him in hospital. It's been forty years since we last spoke. I grew up in the 60s in rural Nebraska. He was a cattleman and we did OK by the standards of the time. But my dad was a violent, mean, abusive man. He was huge, built like a shit brickhouse - at least 270 pounds of mostly muscle. He terrorized my mom and my brothers and me. He would make us sing demeaning songs and dance humiliating dances, often naked. He would belittle and humiliate our tiny cocks and call us fags, punks, bitches, and queers. He would beat us regularly, attacking us with his belt with no warning. Once I dropped a plate. He dragged me to the outhouse and unloaded a bladderfull of rank piss all over my hair and refused to let me clean up. If me or one of my brothers fucked up, he would make us wear one of our sister's dresses for a day. Once, I had to wear a dress when we had company and he openly mocked and humiliated me, and then pulled up the dress to show everyone my puny cocklet.
When I came out he physically assaulted me. He and his buddies and my uncles beat the shit out of me, fucked me up the ass, and then branded me (I still have the scar). I drifted out to Idaho and worked odd jobs and turned tricks until I managed to make it down to Portland and start a new life. My husbear tells me not to go, but I guess he's still my dad.
Should I go?
| by Anonymous | reply 34 | October 21, 2018 12:36 AM
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So much callousness on DL
| by Anonymous | reply 2 | January 28, 2017 11:04 AM
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Oh spare us, R2.
OP is clearly into kinky, degrading. dad/boy abuse scenrios, and was frantically wanking when he posted that.
| by Anonymous | reply 4 | January 28, 2017 11:10 AM
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OP can console itself by thinking about fucking his son with husbear LOL
I jack off thinking of my son - is this normal?
| by Anonymous | reply 5 | January 28, 2017 11:12 AM
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R5 - if my dad hadn't abused me, I probably wouldn't have sexual thoughts about my son. Remember that abuse is a vicious circle. You need to show some empathy.
| by Anonymous | reply 7 | January 28, 2017 11:19 AM
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OP shoots all over herself recalling the first time she saw her dad naked!
| by Anonymous | reply 8 | January 28, 2017 11:24 AM
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Only you can break that vicious circle,J̶a̶n̶ pedobear. Rope husbear in to help you. You can do it!
| by Anonymous | reply 9 | January 28, 2017 11:26 AM
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R9 - I have given my husbear only the barest details of the degradation and abuse I suffered at the hands of my father. There are things I can never tell him. I don't want him to know when I was 14 I was made to dance naked on the dinner table wearing my mother's lipstick and nylon stockings while singing 1950s teeny bopper songs. Because my cock was so puny, my dad forced me tweeze off all my pubic hair and then spat on me, and degraded me, calling me a fag for not having any peach fuzz at my age. He then threatened to pimp me out to his hard-drinking, chain-smoking, weathered cattlemen from work. How do you tell the love of your life something like that?
| by Anonymous | reply 10 | January 28, 2017 11:33 AM
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On your other post, you were going to share your son with your huspedobear...
"my husbear and me are fucking breaking him in hard and deep"
So sharing the delights of your childhood isn't that much of a stretch 😍😍😍😍
| by Anonymous | reply 13 | January 28, 2017 11:41 AM
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My younger brother and me were forced to sing 'Stupid Cupid' for the entertainment of my dad and my beefy, unwashed uncles one time in the barn. We wore our sister's blouse and skirts and patent leather shoes and we had to perform while dancing in a degrading and provocative fashion until they were all satisfied, with the fucking vinyl disc playing in the background. That was my fucking childhood.
| by Anonymous | reply 14 | January 28, 2017 11:43 AM
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Background adapted from the movie:
"My Own Private Idaho"
| by Anonymous | reply 15 | January 28, 2017 11:56 AM
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You come to DL seeking advice?
| by Anonymous | reply 16 | January 28, 2017 12:00 PM
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Pass me the smelling salts.
I'm knee deep in bullshit
| by Anonymous | reply 17 | January 28, 2017 12:14 PM
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cheap purple pulp overload
| by Anonymous | reply 18 | January 28, 2017 12:19 PM
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Then don't go. Put on your favorite Judy Garland album, and your best caftan and eat ice cream.
| by Anonymous | reply 19 | January 28, 2017 12:19 PM
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Don't worry about it, my step mommy has had weeks to live for years now
| by Anonymous | reply 20 | January 28, 2017 12:20 PM
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My father never gave his gay son that much attention, so fuck you, OP. Figure it out for yourself.
We can't do your homework for you.
| by Anonymous | reply 21 | January 28, 2017 12:31 PM
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It looks like Hanya's started posting her "creative" work here now.
| by Anonymous | reply 22 | January 28, 2017 1:02 PM
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I'm a jazz baby. People think the way I walk is a fad. But it was a present from my Mommy and Dad!
| by Anonymous | reply 23 | January 28, 2017 1:38 PM
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You should go, OP. Do one last dance for daddy.
| by Anonymous | reply 24 | January 28, 2017 2:10 PM
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You should go............and wear a dress...
| by Anonymous | reply 26 | January 28, 2017 5:50 PM
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I'm sure most of the abuse was of the folksy, hard working prairie Christian variety, but being forced to wear a dress and sing 50's pop tunes is unconscionable. Singing Noel Coward love ballads would have been ok, but not 50's pop tunes.
| by Anonymous | reply 27 | January 28, 2017 8:52 PM
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I remember a couple weeks ago a poster here told a story wondering how long he had to go visit a friend who was on hospice. He ended up not making the visit before the friend died. I pondered why somebody would post to DL asking for others' input on such a personal situation. I feel the same way today. EST? Most definitely.
| by Anonymous | reply 28 | January 28, 2017 8:59 PM
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If all you said is true, put it out of your mind. He provided the sperm, but he wasn't your father. He was nothing more than a sick abuser.
| by Anonymous | reply 29 | January 28, 2017 9:01 PM
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No don't go head held high because you're better
| by Anonymous | reply 30 | January 28, 2017 9:04 PM
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Please continue, OP.
Best damn laughs I've had around here in ages.
| by Anonymous | reply 31 | January 28, 2017 9:07 PM
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Why is all of DL so flippant about parental abuse?
| by Anonymous | reply 32 | January 29, 2017 11:17 AM
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Your story of survival is inspirational to us all.
| by Anonymous | reply 33 | October 21, 2018 12:30 AM
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