Entitled Straight New York Times Wedding Write-Ups

tl;dr

So the bride claims she's 31. The groom is fug, with fake white teeth.

"The world of... oh, you know the rest."

God OP, they sound sickening. Can't stand breeders sometimes.

That was exhausting. They seem horrible.

New Yorkers are better than everyone else, so why not celebrate it?

It's funny how their faces are mostly obscured in the slideshow. And for very good reason.

For a couple of privileged brats, they eat a lot of crappy food. Campbell's Soup for breakfast, Taco Bell, lo mein from some dodgy street vendor. I'm poor and I wouldn't eat that nasty shit!

The Times used to have the usual wedding announcements every week with their photos of ugly kindergarten teachers at Miss Finchley's School for Girls who were marrying Mr Andrew Hoch-Tuey, investment banker.

But the big main wedding announcement started out featuring a "regular person" wedding.

The Times wedding section was a joke, literally. Everyone went straight for it every Sunday to see which announcement was the most pretentious; which bride-to-be in the engagements section looked the most like your Uncle Benny.

So the Times started featuring a once a week announcement that was larger than the others and contained photos and a longer backstory. It started out with firemen marrying schoolteachers (or a reasonable facsimile). It was to be atonement to the having ignored the working and middle classes for a century or so.

Well, that lasted about a month before parents and guardians of social climbing Wall Streeters threw money at the Grey Lady to get their precious children in the coveted featured wedding spot. And there were always little satires, like claiming the bride is an artist or fashion designer and not just some rich bitch who wants to let everyone know who did her hair and her wedding gown and how much she loves her great Aunt Hester who connects the bride to her immigrant past. No, great Aunt Hester isn't an immigrant but she remembers the ancestors who were immigrants from Vienna or Hungary. Then comes the story of how the family came to be the rich, successful, artist and culturally inspired people they are today.

I wonder if anyone else remembers that the featured wedding story started out as a token homage to regular people who were banned from the Times wedding section for years.

Who writes this shit?

Given her high-powered parents, Jessie DF sounds a little sad.

She may design furniture, but she's basically a real estate broker. I always think about BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES, and the WASP narrator bemoaning the end of NY society: who invites real estate brokers to parties? That's not real society. You may as well invite your mail carrier.

And how did the groom parlay his Art History degree into a job at Goldman Sachs?

Just wondering.

Really? Out of all the places to grab food in New York they were at a fucking Taco Bell. Ewww.

R10, The little dweb is currently pulling down nearly 600k a year.

[quote]And how did the groom parlay his Art History degree into a job at Goldman Sachs?

Because he is from well connected NY society.

Every knows (or should know), life is about who you know. These two were born into the definition of privilege, kids from these families will always know people that can give them great careers.

[quote]Mr. Gliklich’s parents, like Ms. Della Femina’s, are also grounded in New York. His mother, Dr. Jane Salmon, is a professor of medicine at Weill Cornell Medicine who was recently inducted into the National Academy of Medicine. His father, Dr. Jerry Gliklich, is a professor of medicine at the College of Physicians and Surgeons at Columbia University and a cardiologist at New York-Presbyterian.

The wealth! The wealth of it all!

Our beloved Tommy and Gio's wedding was featured in the NY Times, but they didn't have as extensive a write up.

All those connections won't restore his hair or make him 6'2".

It's a Woody Allen film come to life!

I'm not going to waste one of my ten Times articles on some breeder wedding. Is she Jerry Della Femina's granddaughter?

R18 Indeed she is.

The NYT is the paper of record with some good journalism (for now - who know what Trump's clampdowns will bring), but the society features sections make me feel so inadequate and impoverished I have to throw them out without reading them. It's an elitist rag for the 1%. Everyone else is trailer trash to them.

[R18] She is Jerry's daughter, not granddaughter. In any case, both of them are quite fugly and should be grateful their families could give them their prosperous careers and Ivy League degrees. This article is sickening; truly, who does write this shit?

I sometimes wonder if the Vows writers are having a laugh.

R11, that little stunt was just for their "story". Everybody thinks how they met their partner is the best story, so now people have to set it up for the cute/romantic part, setting the scene. Tons of people go to nice restaurants for the big question, but who would think someone on their level would go to Taco Bell???

woof

"All those connections won't restore his hair or make him 6'2". " Just blew a mouthful of Diet Coke out through my nose.

Going on two years and there's yet to be one to top this... and now the hubbys business that he runs with his Art History degree has crashed and burned. These folks are just too amusing.

He must feel awful about the whole enchilada. Wait, do they serve those at the Taco B?

Thanks for sharing OP. That was very amusing. Both are Fug and like someone else said, no full front pic of the bride.

And what the hell does she design? What about that ridiculous comment about her “inventing” off the shoulder fashion - huh?

The rush for the wedding, avoiding Florida because of Zika Virus - she’s pregnant! You DataLoungers are slipping, really.

If there is to be a write-up at all, it has to be flourishing. Right? Seriously, doesn’t everybody want something like that? I can’t argue with that, though yeah, it was written at a volume 12, and should have been dialed back to 8.

But the Urban Gospel Choir shows how “woke” we are!

White people who have black gospel choirs at their wedding are the worst.

Here’s the Cliff Notes version of their story:

Wall Street douche marries entitled princess who “works” in design/real estate (the career of choice for wealthy women who would rather spend all day playing tennis. There are tons of ‘em in NYC and Westchester/Fairfield County. Nothing special about that.)

The end.

Hey, R21, even the New York Times has to make a buck somehow!

Her brother is the definition of a sloppy mess.

OMG that pic in R15! Gio looks like he's a total bottom.

These used to be primarily the WASPy types , now I see mainly Jews . Interesting how times have changed .

Die, bump bitches. Die.

Tasteful Friends, lets peruse their wedding registry

Tacky

The whitest white party ever

His mom, Dr. Jane Salmon, looks better than the bride in r24.

Trashy AF.

Who decides who will be featured?

I grew up with people like that, I'm sure one of my younger siblings knows both of them, they're around the same age.

She married him because Goldman Sachs and because he'll inherit a decent amount too--not trust fund, never have to work again money (doctors don't make that much) but enough.

He'll get her the apartment on Park Avenue (or loft in Tribeca) and the house out in the Hamptons and she can recreate her childhood.

They still have to wipe their asses, get old and die. And have bad breath in the morning. No matter how hot, rich, successful or privileged someone is? Somebody somewhere is sick of their shit.

Dirty little class secret, R10: people who go to elite colleges can major in anything they want without regard for their career. Goldman Sachs will hire you because of your wealth and connections; in fact, a lot of companies prefer to hire kids with liberal arts degrees because it's more likely they can read and write decently. I can't tell you how many investment bankers and medical doctors I've known who majored in art history, Latin, English, history, architecture, etc. etc. It's only the masses going to low-ranked state schools or the like who believe that your college major is strictly preparation for a career—and in a sense they may be right, because where they're coming from, a decent company won't hire them otherwise. But they're unlikely to get to Goldman Sachs anyway. Again: dirty little class secret.