Zac Hanson

He's a hottie. I'd like an order of him and Taylor, please.

R2

TmZ 2015.

Why do so many gays insist that nearly every major 'hottie' has some big magical dick. It isn't even hot guys really. The soap gossip thread was littered with 'I've heard he's got a big dong' every third actor. It's just pathetic, almost like some fat girl deluding herself a guy would want to fuck her. Ladies get a grip of reality and stop living in your delusional fantasies and wishful thinking inside your heads.

Ugh, what a delectably sassy piece of ass. I want to peel his pants off with my teeth.

R5 Groupie spills have consistently said two things about Mr. Zachary Hanson: He's incredible fun in bed, wildly into kink and had the biggest dick they'd ever seen. Apparently, he did once receive from men but didn't give. So some generous slut on DL will be able to confirm all of this because you know they're here.

He sings Aretha like an angel:

R5

R5 : The people who are doing the reporting on said cocks don't know what big means. What we consider to be average is big to some people and small to others.

And if they're getting their reports from women, the cock will generally be labelled "big" even if it isn't.

R8 It starts in the treasure trail abs area and builds up from there. He has just the right amount of meat around that area. Scientifically, it seems a pretty safe theory that he's packing firehose.

R5 Here's a safe one for you, honey.

R9 : Isolated dickcident, Dr. D.

R11 If only I had a grant to test the theory. But I'd test it free for Science because I'm a noble soul.

Exhibit C

He's gross!!

R14 You're blind. But your attempt at guessing what's on the screen is admirable.

Zach turned out to be the hottest of the brothers. He past Taylor somewhere in his early 20's

R18 They all have their own special appeal.

He's a Greek orthodox Christian whose wife just just had baby number 4. She's the only on enjoying that sick you desperate cockhounds

R22 I wouldn't say "desperate", rather "enthusiastic".

R22 I heard guys don't count as cheating or virginity taking. It's just guys being relieved by guys, on the road. There has to be one of the human towels wandering around here.

R22 Four. And those are only the times that stuck. They must need to carry buckets and make dump stops on the road.

"We're really into rimming... you know... like rimshots off the snare drum."

*giant grin*

To the single poster posting bulge shots, they prove nothing. Anything could be stuffed down there, especially with vain egocentric media whores desperate to give their rep some sort of boost. They aren't even underwear shots.

I don't want to piss on people's delusions but some actual evidence, not some vague hearsay of 'OMG I got fucked by the biggest dick on Zac Hanson last night. XOXOXO'. Or bulge shots that could be all balls or socks.

As R8 points out most women don't even know what a big cock is.

Honestly it's like some shitty teen fangirl thread in here, which nowadays feels like many a thread on DL. If only the reality weren't so pathetic; a few old, fat eldergays lusting over an imagined cock size sitting at their computer jacking off.

R27 You sound like you need a dose of Zac's magical cock. XOXO

I'm right thanks R28

Is he one of the Jonas Brothers?

E29 Wound up so tight, you're going to pop a sprocket. What's your wellness routine?

R30 Hanson. Pre-Jonas and with far more talent.

Is this one of the Hanson brothers from that song from the 80s "Ohh Bop!"?

r33 that song was from 1997

It was MMMBop

I would much rather listen to R33s 80's classic "Ohh Bop!", to be honest.

Mmm bop, you know whop

My do whop

Do it on my do whop

You know whop, my do

Oh, oh, oh

Mmmbop

ZAC HANSON!?

AHAHAHAHA!

R38 Are you under the impression that he's still a kid?

I think he's dreamy,the total package. Adorable,extremely talented and hung,a trifecta.I love that song then,R35,and I unashamedly love it now. That whole album was great.

My God I hated them during the M-bop days, nice that they have drastically improved themselves. That song still sends shivers up my spine.

R40 Someone was talking on here yesterday about how underappreciated New Radicals and Gregg Alexander was and I agree. Hanson fall into the category of stand-outs from that period. Among the top talents. Even those who cringe at "Mmmbop" have to admit they were sincerely talented kids and have continued putting out great records and songs year after year. The Hanson jokes have no relevance at this point because they aren't kids anymore.

They're men now. Really, really hot men.

R17, he looks like Wendy Malick in that thread.

R27 Do you honestly think he'd be stuffing, while jumping around onstage and grabbing himself in front of thousands of fans? I'm not a costumer for rock stars so maybe there's lots I'm not wise to?

I thought Cyndi Lauer did that song.

This person reminds you of Wendie Malick, R43? Really?

Wendie Malick? I hope you're not a casting agent, R43.

Artiste, artist.

Zac in formal wear

R49 There isn't even enough vague, gender jumping resemblance for that to be amusing.

He's got his thumb all up in the pink in R48

......

The covers were from their "Roots N Rock" tour, which was one night of mostly covers and another of their own music. 9 studio albums. The pipes on Zac are incredible:

Is Zac still acting? I haven't seen him in anything since "Just Shoot Me". Oh, wait... I forgot he was a regular in "Hot in Cleveland" too.

They had two hits, why are they even a thing. Joan Jett did better than these guys.

Does Zac have chest hair? Taylor does.

They a not handsome like the Jonas Brothers, except for Kevin and the fat baby Jonas.

Stunning

R59 Hanson could be mocked for being ONLY handsome, except they're also so talented. It's fundamentally absurd to imply otherwise. Of course Hanson are hot. This is just a given, like water being wet. I just wanted to investigate the specifics, like Zac's allegedly massive dick. If some of you don't want to be intellectual about it, I shall not engage such obvious simpletons.

Let's start from the indisputable point of Hanson being hot and go from there.

R57 They had the #1 Independent album after launching their own label.

R56 I realize Zac's luscious locks can send some lesser blessed types into fits of blind rage but Zac does not look like a woman. He just doesn't.

Now, Taylor's angelic brand of beauty lead to many jokes about androgynous ambiguity for years, before he matured and looked more masculine but Zac has long been earthier looking than his brothers.

R58 He seems like he'd be hairier but I can't find any evidence. He keeps fully dressed in public. It's a travesty.

Zac should be front man. He's sounds and looks incredible.

In this cold, cruel world, I need more Zac to warm the cockles.

Chair race

[quote]They had the #1 Independent album after launching their own label.

That's like winning the sack race in third grade.

R70 That bitching sounds like you came in 2nd place, in the sack race in third grade. They did have their reputations to jump from but they built their own company from the ground up.

Good morning, DL.

Okay the new Wendie Malick troll is funny, but honestly even if you're not into white blond pretty boys, you still have to admit these guys are good-looking.

R76 Unless Wendie's hung like a woolly mammoth, I see no resemblance.

Let's see his Native American tomahawk.

Merry Christmas

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

So close!

Mmm

All man

Ah, but he's bulked up since then, R88 !

R88 After all her laser sessions, the whiskers returned. Looks like another night with the tweezers.

What a talented little kid he was. He could barely reach the drum kit and yet, he was playing like a much older musician.

R91 Wrong link. Here:

Which one was it that people were saying was a hardcore fisting bottom?

r93 That would be Miss Taylor!

R93 I'm starting to doubt it. He defiantly wears white pants all of the time, now.

Why is there not more appreciation for this perfection on DL? There's no accounting for taste. So talented, so hot.

Sharing a secret?

R100 Jealous of anyone who can confirm it.

Are they still even a thing? Can they make enough money to raise all those kids from the band? I thought they were has beens.

R102 They're selling out show after show on their upcoming tour. They're very talented and flaunt the goods when necessary but I think a lot of it is good business instinct. Other bands have a lot to learn from them.

Old School gold.

Is she homeless?

R106 Of course not. He'll always have a bed to sleep in.

Thanks skid row!

R108 Zac has more talent in his footlong than most of you hopeless bitches have from top to toe.

Proper hygiene skills excepted...

Meh!

R110 Keep telling yourself that, if that's what it takes to quell the profound sense of personal inadequacy you feel when he sings.

You mean when he screeches

Was she the pudgy little shit with the buck teeth and ratty blonde wig?

R113 His voice is like honey on silk, you amoeba.

And she's sharing that honey & silk with literally tens of adoring fans!

Jealousy does not become you R114 but I'm sure that's never stopped you before.

That's Tina face if ever there was one!

I suppose losing the teeth is an alternative to straightening them...

Bullshit. He's flawless from every angle. Nobody likes a liar, R119.

Still pudgy, I see...

Is that fat neck and double chin from alcohol bloat?

R121 Only between the thighs.

R122 Zac's body is what happens when you're not testosterone deficient.

Ha ha

I see your scientific knowledge is as on point as your musical taste!

The insecurity is thick in here, tonight.

Ok... I've wasted enough charity time slumming on this dreadful thread.

I will flounce and leave you to your naughty little AWG pet obsession...

Desperately needs a decent hair cut.

R127 I love his hair. He has the right hair to pull it off. Thick. Glossy.

Is he transitioning?

R129 To iconic greatness.

Cherokee and Patomwomke ancestors means he has no excuse to not go around shirtless and in warrior beads as often as possible. He needs to show more respect for his heritage.

R121 I'm actually afraid he's getting too thin. He probably stumbled upon DL and subconsciously absorbed its nefarious power to induce starvation.

So much talent and you know it.

Damn

damn is right, don't scream into a microphone learn to sing.

The oldest one is the only sexy one.

The oldest one is the least sexy. In order of sexy Zac then Taylor then

|

Ike

Is Zac a homosexual?

I'm sick and tired of you poor taste bitches who don't know quality when you see and hear it. You don't deserve to be a kazoo near this man's mouth.

Has anyone gone to one of their recent shows?

Isaac is everything. Sexy AF!

R141 I'll take a pig pile. That family hit the genetic jackpot.

Serious BDF

R143 I think every brother has had to fight in the battle O' the inseam many a time.

I love the art direction of their recent EW photos. Haven't checked who the photographer is yet but they have a "Dogfight" (1991) feel, like the pub from the film was used and the high exposure adds a vintage touch.

Yes, the art direction is inspired. Beyond that, I want to suck Isaac dry, the wait for him to reload.

They are all handsome, but Zac is extraordinary...I have a hard time believing that those photos out there are authentic, he's too wholesome.

R146 100% pure.

Prince's voice is gone, Michael Jackson's voice is gone, George Michael's voice is gone but we still have Taylor. It's criminal that these guys do not get more credit and attention. They're just excellent. But they're not beacons of misery. That's why the perennially depressive guardians of culture refuse to give them their due.

Speaking of Michael Jackson, he wrote this song specifically for Hanson and said so (it was initially named after them). In the late '90s. Take from that what you will.

I assumed this tard OD'D years ago

R150 Moi?

R150 "Tard"? He was a child prodigy. He's grown up into near perfection.

I have no doubt the fundie cult billed him as a prodigy after he placed all the beans into the coffee cup before the goat gave birth to the hybrid offspring of cousin Jessico

R153 Whaa...t? Why goat?

You think bringing attention to the fact that they're all insatiable super-breeders, so topped up with jungle juice that it's practically running out with every step they take, makes him less appealing to me?

R154:

You are also a messy tard, so the answer would be no.

I'm sure you screech about having his tard butt babies on the regular...

R155 No but I'm always open to new bedtime scripts! I like to mix up the scenarios because that expands the probability of one of them happening.

Redneck honey can take me behind the moonshine bin any day and any, which way.

Tiny 'bulge'

R158 Bull. You're a poor judge of heft.

I don't know what's happening here but it looks like a really, intensely creative moment.

Milan, a couple of days ago

Love this. So talented.

So, Van Saint never had any of them?

R163 He directed their video for "Weird" but they were all pretty young in it. Van Sant is an enigma. You never know, with him.

R163 I actually don't believe the Taylor rumors, either. All I've seen are a bunch of poorly photo-shopped pictures. He does look like an eager beaver with Ben Jelen in photos from years ago, which allegedly was why his parents abruptly booted Jelen off their tour at the time. But who knows.

Correction, not "pretty young", really young. I hope nothing happened. I think they were even below the cut-off age for Van Sant at the time, so I assume he was professional.

This broad needs a good stiff beating

R167 Drunk before sundown again, Uncle Hank?

Really nice, funny guys. I don't think it's an act. It's 2017, they're talented, they've worked hard and it's time for all the old Hanson mockery to be put to rest.

They are nobodies to 99.9% of the public Beyoncé md their romper room shit from 20ya

R170 They had a number one hit in 27 countries in '97 and are pop culture icons who had a distinct, era-ambiguous style that was not interchangeable with that of other bands of the time. Even if half the attention they've gotten since the 90's has been jokes about their status as the sunny, Mmmbop mop tops, to act like no one knows who they are is disingenuous.

Any shirtless shots of Zac?

r172, no shirtless photos exist, however there are several of him presenting hole.

I've only seen one shirtless photo of Zac. It is not recent however.

It's disingenuous to pretend a one hit wonder from 20 ya is embedded into the consciousness of anyone but a handful of sad fraus who never left the 90s...

Two years ago Hanson did a concert at our state fair. It was packed with people. There were some teenagers, but mostly late 20's and early 30's. I listened for a while, but I've never been a fan so I left. They did look good though, especially Zac.

R175 While it's true most of the fans you see in videos of their shows are women, they might be so starved for interaction with male fans that they'll make special time for the guys. The odds are good.

So many great things came out of the '90s. To pretend it wasn't a golden age for culture is dishonest. You don't forgo listening to great musicians because they've existed as musicians for longer than a decade. That's stupid. Do you only allow yourself to listen to music that was made this year? In the last five? No Eagles? Jackson Five? Beethoven? I want you to be honest and tell me if you have even one song in your library that was made before 2012.

Kangaroo

You aren't very bright, R177

R179 So you do listen to music made before 2017 or even being generous, before five years ago. Thought so.

I listen to good music from many eras and that definitely includes the time before 2012.

I do not obsess over mindless crap that was a joke even at its peak.

Let me guess:

You love the baha men and their mega hit 'who let the dogs out' as well.

After all, they had a moment and that's good enough to put them in league with the Eagles and Beethoven!

R181 I'll be nice and say that we differ on taste. But I'll also say that most of the industry complaints through the years about working with them was that they were TOO cerebral about their music and songwriting process, when their old label just wanted some mindless muck to peddle that was on trend with the euro-trance-dance explosion in the early 2000's. But no one who has ever been a legitimate musician would say they aren't good. You may dislike their style but calling them poor musicians is just, not true.

Swimming with sharks

HOT

Want to give this sassy imp "what for" like a bear wants to lick a honeypot.

I'm not familiar with any of their music aside from their first big hit, but I just want to say that the trolls arguing here about how awful they are, or what has-beens they are, or how no one knows who they are, are all trolls that I already had blocked for whatever reason before coming to this thread.

Just bear that in mind. I don't block people willy-nilly, only the trollish assholes.

Thanks R186 . I just assumed the poor dears had lost their sight and hearing in a grease fire and were trying to make do by guessing at what I was posting.

Perfection

Hanson if very talented, and Zac especially has a great rock voice. He does a good version of Chain of Fools. Those high notes are so strong.

R190 YES. Too many people have 90's era jokes cemented into their minds and they refuse to admit that these guys actually produce excellent music and are really talented. They have them frozen in time as permanent adolescents.

Zac is, quite clearly, all grown up. He's aged into a nice, mischievous bundle of hot sex and this should be sung from every mountaintop, far and wide.

For the record, if you want an example of what "well groomed" and "masculine" looks like, look no further than here. That is what a well groomed MAN is supposed to look like.

Which one is the gay one? There's always a gay one.

R195 If there is you'll find him, Kevin.

Stanning break!

Love when he really gets into it.

Best voices in the business today. Hands down.

I would never trust Taylor, he's a ginger with a violent temper. I know people that have toured with him, he think he's Johnny Depp. ....well Depp is not the dark evil worshiper that Taylor has shown himself to be, and Depp would be wise to stay clear of Taylor Hanson.

R202 LOL, what?! WHERE did you hear that from?! The only dishy tour gossip I've heard was that Taylor's parents wanted Ben Jelen kicked off the 2004 tour when someone tipped them off that Jelen was laughing and bragging to the crew that he could get Taylor to perform any sexual favor for him that he asked for and then allegedly went into detail about what he'd already gotten.

R202 Ben, is that you?

R202 Okay, you don't just post something so hilariously bizarre and then run.

Offers a whole new meaning for "Crazy Beautiful". I'd still offer him a place to sleep, regardless of a little chemical imbalance to spice things up.

I thought the rumors were just a big joke on Hanson but then I saw this and burst out laughing. Apparently, he's an aggressive, shit-talking bossy bottom who demands to be manhandled.

Yes. I can see it...

Come back R202! You've piqued my curiosity and I want you to explain. You make it sound like he's sacrificing animals on an altar. I was joking about "Crazy Beautiful" (a title that completely changes in meaning with the strategic placement of a comma). Taylor doesn't seem crazy at all. Maybe a little frustrated by suppressed desire but that's about it.

"Middle of Everywhere" was both in top 20 and hard form sold out on Amazon today. Take that, hatahs.

Nah. Still Isaac and his big dick face all day long.

R210 He does have classic BDF. He also looks terrifyingly like a Baldwin. But as we've already had a Hanson cloning thread, no need to re-hash that here.

R211 CLONES!

R211 Really? Fuck. I love Isaac and hate the Baldwins, except for Alec.

R213 A Hanson/Baldwin family feud talent-off would produce the predictable results but you have to admit there is something to the Baldwin resemblance thing. In the '90's, certainly. Maybe the Baldwin family is where they stuck the less talented Hansons, as part of some Hollywood and music industry cult thing. Just a prediction, of course. I have no evidence of a clone factory in Hollywood.

Yet.

Yes I love you, little pretty

Who has any Taylor gossip from this recent tour?

Pulling off a handlebar stache with aplomb.

He's awfully pretty... Almost painfully so. I'm not usually atrracted to pretty guys, though can appreciate their beauty, but this guy is my exception: hot! Love his hair too. OP, some pics are a "nod" to his native ancestry, others he looks Anglo, or Dutch, IMHO

Meant to say Long hair^

For goodness sake! Enough!

R220 I suppose the title of this thread could be a little misleading. Apparently, you read down 200+ replies before realizing this wasn't the macrame or pasta draining thread your heart was set on. My apologies.

Can I get a yee-ha?

He was such a hot minx at the Utrecht show last week, that I have to bump this.