Princess Beatrice

"Nah Bea, thanks, but no. I'm good! No blowjob from you."

"Tony Robbins hungryyyyyyy"

I'm interested.

She looks like a Ronald Searle cartoon come to life.

You'd scream if she snagged your foreskin on those choppers.

Are she and Eugenie close to their cousins, or are they seen as the oddballs? ("Close" in the platonic sense - although, knowing the Royals...)

My god, that girl is homely. Her sister's not quite as ugly but she's no beauty either.

She will definitely find companionship, if not love, OP. She has a big-time royal title and she'll inherit some money. There are guys out there just dying to marry her in order to use her as a social climbing tool.

R6, supposedly the two girls have close relationships with Will and Harry.

Why didn't they get her teeth fixed? They must hate her.

Dem teef gonna shred yo dick like a cheese grater.

F&F for that stupid "accent" you're putting on, R9. Knock it off.

Poor thing, hope she doesn't end up like Christina Onassis.

And to think her dad, Andrew, was the cute one back in the day.

Beatrice, like her sister, has a steady boyfriend.

BOOMFLAP BOOMFLAP BOOMFLAP BOOMFLAP

She and her sister need to get Julie Andrews to teach them some princess decorum. They practically lollop when they walk.

R8 Her teeth look straight. In her case, it would probably require some serious upper and lower jaw surgery in conjunction with some type of "gum contouring" work.

She's already found love I suppose. The girl is homely, but she's been with Dave Clark (an American who works for a Virgin subsidiary) for years.

Clark has major gsy face. Here he is channeling Bill Maher.

Well, beggars can't BEA choosers as they say.

Even if she never finds love, her teeth will serve as an eternal tribute to the brave departed soldiers of the British military.

r19 made me pee a little...

True royal princesses are consistent in their regal bearing.

The Queen puts them above Kate in protocol. Whenever she's not with Will, Kate has to curtsy to them.

She will have her revenge when she is Queen.

Quite big tits.

Prince Philip and the queen both were concerned about the girls' obvious dimness, dumbness and dullness, inherited from both Andrew and Sarah. So they instructed that the top-secret "Windsor Vibro-Butt-Plug" be inserted any time they were to be imposed on the public. It "brightens" their appearance.

And this is what happens when a battery runs down.

Is very acceptable looking in person.

She was probably sitting in Andrew's lap in the pic at R24.

Toothy like all the Greek princesses (Olympia, Theodora) - Bea is patrilineally a greek Princess. Cousins Princess Zara of Gatcombe and Princesses Alex and Gabriella of Kent - all toothy

You like...?

No, R28, but it's a better picture than the other one. She's just not a very attractive girl. The photo you chose does make her look less ugly than usual.

R22, Kate understands that in a warped way the protocol favoring royal-born women over women acquiring their status by marriage actually is a strike for feminism. A woman in her own right outranks a woman with status because of her man.

Of course, the fact that a woman automatically acquires her husband's rank when he is present rather undermines the "feminism" argument. And since all men have to do to bow to their superiors in precedence is snap their head down a moment it really is a small thing for me.

NO WOMAN looks good curtsying in trousers or a short skirt.

Of course when Beatrice curtsies it offers a good chance for the smiths to quickly check that the nails in her shoes are okay.

Closing her mouth while not showing off her exophthalmic eyes to their maximum bulge DOES help Beatrice.

Some.

She is more interesting to look at (kidding aside) than Eugenie, who seems a little smarter, a little more subdued, and a little more prone to the Queen Mother's famous chocolate-delight figure.

They just needed a little help with traditional poise-and-bearing tips - something their ridiculous mother and mother couldn't focus on.

I think they are both pretty. Not striking. Pretty.

But they're not, R32, Eugenie is less unattractive than Beatrice. Beatrice is fugly.

Compared to their cousin the duchess of Alba, they are stunning.

Is this the character on The Royals that DIDN'T have cosmetic, recasting, surgery?

I like these girls.

And we all know that when a lonely, miserable DLer posts a pic of someone he's jealous of, it will ALWAYS be the most unflattering pic he can find.

R34 looks like a very, very old Mia Farrow, with lovely, kissable lips.

R36 seems incapable of knowing when something is posted merely because it's funny, or arch, or silly. She also seems, obviously, like the bitterest cunt on the thread, and wearing her own little crown of judgment in the process.

What an asshole.

Pardon me. What a stupid asshole. And of course it contributes nothing. To anything.

She looks like hideous porn star Mesha Lynn, who tried compensating for her fugly face by getting breast implants almost bigger her head.

R22, is that still true? I thought it might have changed after the marriage, esp as she is the mother to the eventual king.

Couldn't they cap her front teeth and make the teeth smaller and thinner? I think that would work. She looks a lot better when she is not smiling.

It is still true, R22, as of the last time the Queen dictated/determined the royal order of precedence or protocol or whatever the hell they call it. I think that was updated last year and it hasn't been changed since then.

When Kate moves up the ranks and becomes Princess of Wales it will change, at least I think it will change then. I can't see Charles and Camilla having Kate curtsy to Andrew's girls.

She's no Prince Harry, but still not unfuckable if her boyfriend joins in.

The bashing schoolyard bully has arrived. Again.

She has lovely hair.

They are horses in drag

All of them

Serves her right old queeny with a horse fetish

OMG don't post that pic without prior warning. Those teeth! Those psycho eyes! Nearly scrolled down to my sudden death.

The dental issues can be traced to her cousin King Charles II of Spain. Many spanish royals like him suffered from "the habsburg jaw," a form of mandibular prognathism. To them it was a sign of nobility.

The artist actually touched up this portrait to make him look a lot better than he did in real life. In reality, he was crowned king in spite of the fact he was mentally and physically disabled, which is no shock considering his parents were uncle and neice.

She's rumplefugly, but wealthy, royal, and in a relationship. So she's orders of magnitude better off than all of you.

Beatrice has been in a longterm relationship with Dave Clark for the past seven years

R48 - Beatrice is one of the least related Royals to the habsburgs. Her only catholic roots are through a Hungarian countess

Ms. Jackson's looking for you, Jabby. Better get home.

R51, being that the English royal family is really German in lineage (they changed their names to trick their subjects), that would make her and her family directly related to the Hapsburgs.

Maybe she will find herself a nice Jewish dentist.

All that money and she still has jacked up teeth which easily could have been addressed from a young age by a qualified orthodontist.

But the Brits don't value good teeth - no matter what the Datalounge British Teeth Troll might claim - as clearly demonstrated by the royal Bea who can eat grass thru a fence.

She doesn't have jacked-up teeth. Jacked up teeth are crooked or snaggle-toothy. Hers are neither.

Beatrice's teeth in OP's link are more like this:

Her teeth are jacked up. Seriously. Jacked. Up.

You sho is ugly.

[quote]something their ridiculous mother and mother couldn't focus on.

The Yorkies have two mommies?

r60 No, but they're both duchesses. Andrew is a princess and Fergie is his fag hag in waiting.

[quote]Prince Philip and the queen both were concerned about the girls' obvious dimness, dumbness and dullness, inherited from both Andrew and Sarah.

Eugenie is actually very bright. Beatrice is as dumb as a lamp post, but seems like good fun. I'd certainly prefer her company to the insufferable Wills & Kate show. Now, there are a couple of middlebrow bores. 33 going on 60.

Unlike Cristina Onassis, Bea doesn't have that much money she can claim for herself. She is a cash-poor royal.

Ugly

But Christina's daughter is doing pretty good.

Yes, R62. I was riffing for purposes of the photo.

And, for the record, Andrew and Diana are smart people, too. Craven and useless are not the opposite of intelligent.

"Well," not "good," R65.

R15,, gofundme page?

[quote]that would make her and her family directly related to the Hapsburgs.

That explains the looks. The Hapsburgs were famous fugs.

What is her relationship like with herum? I felt for Fergie when she got banned from the Will & Kate wedding.

^her mum

All the Queen's children and grandchildren are kinda ugly

In that header pic, her eyes are looking in 2 different directions. Look at it! Hapsburg?

Gummy smile.

I had not seen pics of this girl or her sister in years. I didn't realize how old they had gotten. I googled the younger sister Eugenie. She is much more attractive than the hag pictured in this thread. I'd venture to guess that Beatrice is quite envious of her younger sister.

Eugenie was recast a few years ago.

Bea and Clark have been dating since 2007. A Looooooooonnnnng time. Andrew and Fergie don't have the money to fund an extravagant wedding. But the real scandal would be so long as Philip is breathing, it is doubtful Elizabeth and other royals would be permitted to attend. Or else, Fergie would be banned from her daughter's wedding. Bea never had a career, never will have a career so there's no excuse that there is a "busy schedule" to prevent her. Eugenie is in the same boat. None of the aristocrats will go near those girls - kind of the same problem Pippa Middleton encountered.

Fergie may be slowly coming back into the 'royal fold' and not treated like the outdoor pet you have no use for, but Prince Charles will be chopping them all - Andrew, Fergie, and the kids - from immediate royal family status as soon Elizabeth and Philip pop their clogs. So there is no incentive for any aristocrat get into that ugly family swamp. And Andrew hasn't helped his situation by carousing with under-age girls on private islands and denying it all - despite incriminating photos and an accusation that was recently dismissed by a U.S. court. It's a soap opera.

Not quite r75. Eugenie is short, balding and has a very unfortunate figure. Bea lucked out if you can say that in the gene sweepstakes. Being generous here.

I wouldn't fuck any member of the royal family.

I'd fuck Harry. And vice versa.

I would also fuck Harry and vice-versa.

Catch the Royals on "E"..... Hilarious how the much alike the pseudo Beatrice and Eugenie look

Harry is a bastard, what was the name of the guy Diana had affair with ? They look alike.

She's lucky right now in that she happens to be the Queen's favorite. She spends more time with Bea than any of her other relatives.

The old depiction of the royals on SNL cracked me up. No Beatrice and Eugenie but they could have fit them in.

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Yep. Beatrice's place is secure as long as QEII is alive (providing Bea doesn't fuck up). They're thick as thieves, those two.

Once it's Charles' turn, Andy's girls will have a few realities to face. They may even have to get jobs or pretend-jobs from family friends.

I love the idea of the old gal being genuinely close with a grandchild. I always get the impression she doesn't much like William and Harry. I get the impression she hates Kate.

She's the spitting image of Queen Victoria, poor thing.

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[Quote] So there is no incentive for any aristocrat get into that ugly family swamp.

Now that was uncalled for.

Camilla must be giving Fergie advice on how to cope with vile things people say about them......and alcoholics do always stick together. Or maybe Camilla is into toe sucking also.

I love how the British press keeps track of all of her vacations. Last year, she had something like 17 holidays - many of which were categorized as " money is no object". She even took a vacation two weeks after starting a new job.

R88, Her Maj is reported to be very fond of William and Harry, especially Harry (everyone's favorite). I don't know about Kate.

Harry is the man. He's a royal favorite. Can you imagine the commotion the day he takes a bride (or groom)?

R95 Now, now.....Harry is straight and you know it.

r90 God, can you imagine living in a country where those two are considered "the beautiful people."

r93 Well, she had a good teacher: her mother.

When the Andrew scandal broke Beatrice made plans, without Liz knowing, to move to New York and stay out of the public eye to help deflect some of the scandal. When her Maj(LOL love that one) found out about it she was heartbroken and convinced Bea to stay.

r99 Beatrice just wanted to move to NYC to spend money and raise some hell.

Bea:

Broke, no job no real career prospects

Short, buck tooth, not pretty

Her parents are outcasts from royal family

Still not married, waiting for better prospects?

r101 Ahhh, they'll marry her ugly ass off to some lowly aristocrat or to the son of an upstart and very wealthy family. This bow-wow never has to worry about her marriage prospects.

Are any of them truly "broke" in that they can't pay their next electric bill?

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The Windsors are not an attractive family.

If she's broke, where did she get the money for her £300,000 holiday?

The kid can't help it. Her mother is a snob and a bitch who treated her staff like garbage (in contrast to Diana who was wonderful to hers), and her father is a closet case. How do I know this dear DLers? Years and years ago, my ex, who was a Maryland millionaire , hosted a party one night and Princie Poo had leave from his ship, which was docked in Annapolis, and he attended. Well darlings, the rest is history if you know what I mean.

[quote] Beatrice has been in a longterm relationship with Dave Clark for the past seven years

Isn't he tad too old for her?

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Beatrice is troubling. When William and Harry were young, she was sort of the spare's spare....the next in line in their generation should something happen to William and Harry. But now, with William having two children, Beatrice is further down the list. One day, she will be a Counsellor of State -- one of the group who rules if the monarch is incapacitated or out of the country. By law, she is free to marry without the monarch's permission, but that will change after Queen Elizabeth II dies, unless William has more children or Harry marries and starts having children. She does seem close to the Queen, but her endless vacations and purposelessness annoy the Brits, who are beginning to associate her with her mother, whom they don't like. At heart, she seems to be a spoiled aristocrat who doesn't have to work, who indulges herself in her whims, and who shows no sign of concern about social issues. Royalty may live at the upper crust, but they need to be seen to be concerned about the rest. She's not doing it.

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R97 what country would that be? Western Samoa? Benin? It's not the UK that's for sure.

"being that the English royal family is really German in lineage (they changed their names to trick their subjects), that would make her and her family directly related to the Hapsburgs."

No that would not.

The Habsburgs were Austrian; the German royal family were the Hohenzollerns. Prince Philip is a Battenberg.

Princess Beatrice is only related to the Habsburgs incredibly distantly.

This woman scares me. She looks just like the annoying orange

Love u r113. uck you habsburg ill educated other poster

Prince Philip is actually from the House of Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glucksburg, i.e., the royal house of Denmark. He was born with the title "Prince of Greece and Denmark" -- the former Greek royal family is an offshoot of the Danish royal family. His father, Prince Andrew of Greece and Denmark, married Princess Alice of Battenberg. When Philip was prepping to marry the heiress to the British throne, Princess Elizabeth, he gave up his Greek and Danish title and adopted the surname of his mother's brothers -- their Battenberg titles had been anglicized to "Mountbatten" during the First World War in 1917. So, Mountbatten is the made-up surname of his maternal uncles. Philip was never close to his father, whose family was exiled from Greece in a revolution, with Andrew escaping court-martial by a hair. Andrew became a boulevardier who lived with his mistress. Alice, who was deaf, was in and out of mental institutions. Philip was mostly raised by his grandmother, Princess Victoria of Battenberg (a sister of Czarina Alexandra), who lived in Kensington Palace, and his Mountbatten uncles.

[Quote]Love u [R113]. uck you habsburg ill educated other poster

The house of Hapsburg does in fact have a German line.

R117. Why include a map of the House of Habsburg when you spell it with a Hap

HRH Duchess of York putting her best foot forward

HRH Prince Andrew setting the parental example while on vacation

HRH Duchess of Cambridge fuel by red wine engaged in solo desperate late night deal-making with reporters posing as rich investors in a hotel room.

[Quote][R117]. Why include a map of the House of Habsburg when you spell it with a Hap

Um, it can be spelled either way.

R116 The name Mountbatten isn't made up. It's a direct translation of Battenberg (literally Batten Hill), and the custom has always been for foreign aristocrats permanently living in UK society to anglicize their name. The reason the Battenbergs hadn't already done this was because they were actually princes of Battenberg, not simple nobles. When anti-German sentiment forced the issue, they gave up the Battenberg princely titles, including their use of Serene Highness, accepted aristicratic British titles in compensation, and aglicized their name accordingly.

Hanover and Saxe-Coburg-Gotha were also anglicized (Hannover and Sachen-Corburg-Gotha respectively).

This.

She will still be remembered in the history books, unlike you.

Like that family needs any more inbreeding.

r12 Some men will do anything for money. They're probably gay.

R127, are we to conclude that HRH Prince Andrew swings both ways?

There have been rumors about all of the queen's sons (Princes Charles, Andrew, and Edward), as well as her nephew Viscount Linley, being gay. I wish someone could say authoritatively one way or the other.

She and Harry could indeed wed according to rayal protocol.

Aren't Elizabeth and Prince Philip first cousins cousins?

I'm sure there have been rumours, r129. And I'm sure there will be rumours in 20 years that Prince George is gay, even if he isn't, and there will also be rumours about any sons George might have being gay too. Charles' almost self-destructive commitment to Camilla is also highly suggestive that rumours that he might be gay are also true.

Oh, and Prince Phillip sure pings.

Elizabeth and Philip are not first cousins. They are third cousins as great-great-grandchildren of Queen Victoria. They are simultaneously second cousins, once removed, as descendants of King Christian IX of Denmark: Elizabeth is a great-great-grandchild and Philip is a great-grandchild. No law bars Harry marrying Beatrice; however, royalty have stopped marrying first cousins. The last instance was 1905 when two of Queen Victoria's grandchildren married. Second and third cousins marrying, however, has occurred several times since then.

In addition, by law Prince Harry needs the permission of Queen Elizabeth II or Parliament to marry anyone. Beatrice does not need the Queen's permission to marry, but when Prince Charles becomes king, if Beatrice moves into sixth place in the line of succession, she will need permission from Uncle Charles or Parliament to marry.

[Quote]Elizabeth and Philip are not first cousins. They are third cousins as great-great-grandchildren of Queen Victoria.

Um, they are still COUSINS.

R134, by your definition, we're all cousins. R133 was obviously responding to R131.

Why is Pippa allowed to wed before Harry?

{quote] She will have her revenge when she is Queen.

Even sooner! She will take precedence as the wife of the heir to the throne when the queen dies.

[quote] Why is Pippa allowed to wed before Harry?

The crown has control over protocol but has absolutely no control over almost anything else. Pippa can do whatever she likes when she likes. (But you knew that already and were just pretending otherwise.)

I don't know why she reminds me of Lon Chaney in London After Midnight, but she does.

[quote]I don't know why she reminds me of Lon Chaney in London After Midnight, but she does.

Probably has something to do with the fact that they look exactly alike.

She's the British Tiffany Trump.

More like she's the original Tiffany Trump. She was a bizarre-looking side-effect of royal inbreeding long before Tiffany had her own little Debutante Ball on that runway a few months back when she came out as an ugly woman.

And the two are still placed in completely different departments of ugliness. Tiffany is just plain, unattractive, and plain unattractive, like someone took a picture of Sandy Dennis and shrunk her head in MS Paint. Princess Beatrice, on the other hand, has a much more exotic, premium ugliness to her--more akin to a horse with Hashimoto's Disease, if you will. Her ugliness is such that one can still appreciate the unique artistic merit in it, like an Antoine Wiertz painting in the form of human face.

Diana, Princess of Wales, and Sarah, Duchess of York, had personality and pizzazz. They both breathed life into the royal family.

So would she be considered a confirmed spinster?

That would be a Royal "no," bitch ass r143.