Jesse Eisenberg

He looks like he doesn't wash properly.

I guarantee you that his breath is terrible, OP.

He apparently sees two shrinks every week and his new book and online ventures make him sound insufferable, but I can only imagine him as endlessly and fascinatingly hilarious as he utters an impressive geyser of amusing bon mots, constantly one-upping himself as I gobble down his enormous cock which smells of fresh apples and cinnamon...

He's a nasty piece of work. See: every interview he's ever done.

Look in the dictionary under the most unnecessarily smarmy actor ever. Well what do you know? If it isn't that douchenozzle Jesse Eisenberg!

He's adorable. I just want to rub his little head. As it swallows my cock.

He's being touted as the Millenial Woody Allen. Feh.

OP, what a tragic lack of taste. He's not only ugly, he's an annoying little shit and can't act his way out of a paper bag.

[quote]OP, what a tragic lack of taste.

I prefer to think of it as a thrilling aberration.

OP, perversion is the term you were searching for.

Did anyone see that film where he played one of those hideous Vegas magicians that are so bafflingly successful? It was the most horrifically smug film ever made outside of the oeuvre of Quentin Tarantino, but it made a bunch of dough so they're doing a sequel. Even sexy Jesse was unbearable in it, alas...

OP, I thought "Now you See Me" was one of the more enjoyable and inventive thrillers I've seen in some time.

r12 I probably misjudged it. I was really looking forward to seeing it at the time, as I have an interest in the subject, but I just found it annoying. I'll watch it again.

I liked the movie but the ending was so contrived.

I think my favorite Jesse Eisenberg film is THE DOUBLE, as it has two Jesses for the price of one!

I love him. Maybe even more than Jake. Yet I never remember to mention him when "favorite actor" comes up (always Jake). I'd like a movie in which Jesse and Topher Grace have sex a lot.

I can't stand this kid. Oh no. I guess I'm in the minority. Same with that other kid. I can't remember his name. And Joseph Gordon Levitt...just horrible.

[quote]I can't stand this kid. Oh no. I guess I'm in the minority. Same with that other kid. I can't remember his name. And Joseph Gordon Levitt...just horrible.

I think we can all agree that Joseph Gordon-Levitt is unbearable.

Michael Cera was the other kid I couldn't remember. Awful.

Interesting. I didn't know a 32 year old man (Eisenberg next month) was a kid!

Apparently so is JGL (who will be 35 in January).

They look like kids to me.

I think he's cute too. But why do people cling to their "types" so rigidly and then become aghast when their dicks react to something else? My type has always been determined by my own reaction to someone and not some list of prerequisites. I never understood anything else. I like men I find attractive and so far that has covered a huge spectrum. And given me a crazily diverse sex life. And yes, I am kinda slutty.

But back to Eisenberg. Cute body, great lips, annoying personality. Love to fuck him, make him whimper.

I think there cum would taste like Bubble Yum

I won't pretend that I didn't have a fantasy of his smug, little weasel of a character being pounded between two Armie Hammers as punishment in "The Social Network".

Adorable but has a very abrasive personality,I also think he's closeted.

I'd get into some kinky bondage scene with him

The very straight English comedian Frank Skinner said he had a weird crush on him after watching The Social Network.

he was great in the zombiesland movie. he seems like he is just talking when he is saying lines. i bet he ab lids a lot when he is on set. i would give him a 7/10 as an actor.

Do you think their were any truth in the jesse/andrew garfield rumours.?

r29 thanks for asking my pinion. as a millinium i would like to say i liked andy g as spiderman and think there is nada truth to any rumors bout him. and i dont know any rumors cept he is from ohio.

Oh my

I find Jesse very attractive, too. Talented, super-smart, and probably very neurotic.

Oh dear

Most depressing thread ever. Jesse Eisenberg... Andrew Garfield... Joseph Gordon Levitt... Michael Cera... Topher Grace.

A veritable collection of the ugliest and least fuckable actors in Hollywood.

Thank you. Oh dear.

I am so looking forward to the next Woody Allen film, starring Jesse and Kristen Stewart. The Woodster hasn't had such a hot piece of twink-meat in one of his films since 1998's CELEBRITY.

R34 is one of the most taste-impaired posters in all of DL.

R34 What?! Topher is perfect.

r34 is secretary of the Rocco Steele Fan Club.

R30 ? and ?

i'd bend topher grace. jesse is kind of okay but i just can't get into it.

I met Jesse a few years ago and got to talk to him for a while. He is incredibly sweet and shy, honestly the nicest celeb I've met. He is a little too thin for my taste but his personality makes him attractive.

"Jesse, cum hard, there's a hole in my ass ..."

R34 is the guy who thinks guys like Bill Hader and Jason Sudekis are hot.

Call me buried under a rock, but I recently found out that he's the older brother of Hallie Eisenberg. You know, 'the Pepsi girl' in the late '90s commercials. She was the precocious child actress to watch out for (pre Dakota Fanning), starring in BINCENTENNIAL MAN (with Robin Williams), THE INSIDER (with Al Pacino and Russell Crowe), BEAUTIFUL (with Minnie Driver), as Helen Keller in the TV remake of THE MIRACLE WORKER, and the 2001 Broadway revival of THE WOMEN (with Cynthia Nixon, Rue McClanahan, Jennifer Tilly, and Jennifer Coolidge).

I've interacted with hundreds of celebrities both casually and professionally and I have to say, Jesse Eisenberg is easily one of the most polite.

You're a freak, OP.

He looks like a mentally disabled lesbian, OP.

OP, diagnosis: goyem case of JewsBlues. You want a quintessential ethnic freak to accept you.

Your mother was is a skankin' ho who only thought of herself and never protected you.

He's exotic because you perceived him priveleged in contrast to your own background. And you just love to have it over him that at least you're better looking or genetically gifted.

OP has the Goyem case of JewsBlues.

I remember when he had that hit song "At Seventeen" in the 70's

[quote] "...i bet he ab lids a lot..."

Dyslexic or idiot?

Or you could try being funny, r49 x

Jesse has very big dick face.

Anyone who thinks this dweeb is hot is as pressed as the day is long.

De gustibus non est disputandum, r55. x

I have an ARC of BREAM GIVES ME HICCUPS but the title is so disgusting I have not read it.

I have literally had dreams about him. He's perfect IYM.

Love him!

I pray he doesn't have an obnoxious bottom.

I could be his obnoxious bottom.

[quote] Most depressing thread ever. Jesse Eisenberg... Andrew Garfield... Joseph Gordon Levitt... Michael Cera... Topher Grace. A veritable collection of the ugliest and least fuckable actors in Hollywood.

I don't find Cera attractive, but I was surprised to see that he has a very fuckable little ass

R34: blindness or dementia?

everyone says he's an obnoxious douche. met him once, thought he was down to earth and sweet. don't get the hate. and, yeah, he's cute.

Jesse could have played Topher Grace's role in TRUTH.

I wouldn't fuck him with YOUR dick.

Is Topher growing a little jowly?

He's probably going to get Alan Alda-like parts as he ages. I'd totally fuck him, of course.

Topher has always been really cute, is really cute in TRUTH. Jesse's a different kind of cute.

R68 how do you mean 'in TRUTH'?

In the new feature film, TRUTH. With Cate Blanchett, Robert Redford, and Topher Grace.

You can't handle the TRUTH

OP You need help girl.

Jesse seems like a finicky OCDish bottom. He looks like he lets his beards fuck him with a strap on.

I wonder who's had him.?

Not hot.