It Seems Like Gay Men Hate Overweight People

If you read Dl, you'll think that all white gay men hate fatties, blacks, women, Madonna, children, families..... The list goes on and on. The truth is that we don't but continue to uphold the myths OP. There must be some happiness in your dreary life.

There are gay men, OP, and there is the DL.

Most gay men on DL are in therapy, according to poll results, and many of them are closeted.

Don't draw generalisations from the particularities of this - ahem - data set.

Yes OP, gay men are terrible.

When I see how compassionate, respectful and empathetic straight men are towards overweight women, or how eager skinny women are to befriend and emotionally support their overweight peers, I am totally ashamed to be gay.

"Even less than perfect men only want perfect men with flat stomachs and big muscles."

Well, even fat guys want perfect men with flat stomachs and big muscles, so don't point that chubby finger at me, hon.

Perhaps "hate" is a strong word, but they do have a low opinion of us.

Years ago a friend told me that any man can get laid as long as he's thin. He doesn't have to be particularly good looking or hung, just thin.

Years ago I read a story about a fat gay man who volunteered with an AIDS org to help older men who needed assistance with things. The man they sent this fat guy to called after he left his apartment and requested a thin volunteer.

This happens every year when they let the kids out for the holidays.

Mummy has a cc..

Gay men only like straight white guys with an average age of 31.

No one hates overweight people. We're just repulsed by them.

R7 exactly and they have to be thinner than Ghandi

All three characteristics make the perfect gay white guy

R3 and R4 confirm it. And so does R5's anecdote. And it's not just men; gay men really lay into overweight women too. With venom dripping from each insult.

[quote]It Seems Like Gay Men Hate Overweight People

Thanks, Captain Obvious!

In a related startling revelation, it was revealed that skinheads are not overly fond of Jews.

It's the only prejudice I allow myself.

But really, it's because we're concerned about their health.

*wink, wink. nudge, nudge*

Thanks R12. I will sleep soundly tonight knowing I was right.

R13: Yes, bless their over-worked hearts. I do worry about them, especially having to see them.

[quote]It Seems Like Everyone (Including Overweight People) Hates Overweight People.

Fixed.

Gay men also seem to hate disabled people——both physically and mentally——but no one wants to talk about that.

R17 where do u get this from?

Some gay men are worse than the fraus.

Being fat is the number one cardinal sin for gay men. It's all about how firm and accessible you are "down there".

They hate very skinny guys too. I would never post my picture on here for that reason. There would be a chorus of "ewww gross", "manorexic" "Gimme a man with meat on his bones" etc.

R2, I think DL has done several polls of its members / posters, and the numbers skew substantially toward an overweight group. So are you describing self-loathing?

Hating and what r20 is describing are not the same, especially since r20 is just being dramatic. Being overweight or underweight is generally not considered healthy, no matter how much some studies some studies have proven that's a generalisation. It also often is an indicator of behaviours, such as being sedate, which is not attractive to some either.

Do you think DL is like the gay equivalent of a site like Bodybuilding.com? (ie. full of shallow and immature people)

Isn't bodybuilding.com the gay equivalent of bodybuilding.com?

R24 I think that's a question you should ask there.

"Murderous Fatty On The Lam..." This says it all about gay morality, crime, and taste.

It's the fact that most overweight people are that way due to CHOICE and not genetics. They eat it on, sit on their ass and then bitch about it to everyone who will listen.

I am in the gym 6x a week, have 6% body fat and in my middle thirties, look great. But I work for it. When I see fat people, I'm somewhat disgusted that they don't take more pride in either their appearance or overall health.

R27 What about people who aren't fat but slightly overweight or have a slight paunch?

You need to make some new gay friends, not all gay guys are like that. Stop hanging around prissy pretentious overly critical queens obsessed with underage malnourished emaciated little boys. They're toxic people to be around in general - misery loves company. They're often woefully insecure themselves and constantly need to trash others to feel "superior".

I like my men to look like grown men, not fetuses. I would take someone who was 200+ lbs and happy, over some scab faced meth queen with half their teeth missing, and leathery skin from years of fake baking, and extreme BO because their livers shut down from all the drugs and drinking. Oh but they have one thing going for them, don 't they? At least their "thin", lol.

OP, a lot of gay men are overweight people.

Be honest: what was your point in starting this thread?

Slightly out of shape is fine: We can't all spend our lives in the gym, I get that.

It's the growing population of incredibly large people who piss me off. Many of them are uninsured, but even those that are end up pushing everyone's insurance rates sky high thanks to their likelihood of weight-related issues.

[quote]I would take someone who was 200+ lbs and happy, over some scab faced meth queen with half their teeth missing, and leathery skin from years of fake baking, and extreme BO because their livers shut down from all the drugs and drinking.

Because those are the [italic]only[/italic] two choices you get, R29.

I'm afraid of fat people because I think they will eat me.

Homosexuals are so good at demanding tolerance from others but fall way short on demonstrating it toward others.

R27 where are you getting your statistics from? Just say u don't like fat people instead of making nebulous and ridicoous statements about how it is all their fault.

Especially if an obese person has the seat next to you on a plane.

You're so full of shit, R31. I'll take the bait. All you care about is how unfair it is that fat people are raising your insurance rates? Yeah, I believe you could be that self-centered, douchebag.

Bill Cosby

[quote]Homosexuals are so good at demanding tolerance from others but fall way short on demonstrating it toward others.

What does expecting people to accept who are have to do with forced approval ("tolerance") of bad choices?

It appears that most fatties are too lazy to exercise and too undisciplined to stop eating so much crap, so, instead, they have resorted to trying to make being a slob OK.

We are witnessing the mainstreaming of being fat. Now, it is "fat shaming" to notice that someone is overweight.

Fat people are like people who don't bathe. They need to stay home.

Most gay me like people that take care of themselves and try to look good and a fat person just doesn't seem to be taking care of themselves

R31 So you're not actually a fitness nazi who has contempt with anyone with a bit of a belly?

Go on Chaturbate and look at the first page of the female cammers and then look at the first page of the male cammers. You will notice there are few if any seriously overweight female cammers, they are all thin or average weight, while there are like 10 or so male cammers who are way overweight on the first page. Despite what heterosexual women want to believe that it is gay men who are "forcing" women to be thin the fact is fat women are not popular with heterosexual men. You will continue to see heterosexual women blame shift because they have a sexual incentive to ignore what hetero males do and dump on gay men.

I will say that many gay men think that once they come out that they don't have to do anything to appeal to other men, that men should come on to them. You do have to do things to attract other gay men.

R42 Perhaps overweight women just convince themselves no one will find them physically attractive, rather than the men being that judgemental.

So true, OP. Just switch the word "fat" for "HIV Poz" in any of the billions of places you hear gays whining about "the stigma!", and you won't find a single gay person still supporting it!

Try it.

@R1 not only on DL, I live in London and the LGBT community in general and white gay men and lesbian women in particular carry on the 'wonderful' legacy of Hitler's youths.

They are the main defenders and the future of white supremacy and the Aryan race; quick and eager to exclude and stamp out anything with a whiff of degeneracy: the poor, fat, ugly, old, non-white; the disadvantaged, the weak, so on and so forth.

Those are assholes, OP. Why waste your time with them?

I disagree about gay men being intolerant.

The amount of times I have read a self hating closeted Gay guy's misogynistic, racist, homophobic,fat shaming,slut shaming and thought fuck this shit, I don't know any gay person like this and wanted to yell fuck off you insecure assholes,but haven't, is tolerance.

Gays are far more narcissistic than straight people. Most of them were damaged very early in life (aka the "narcissistic wound").

OP's idea of "tolerance" = 'you should have sex with me, even though I'm morbidly obese and have never even tried to exercise.'

Go to a bear bar, fattie. Skinny guys are fuckin' invisible there.

It was a simple question...and so many of you clutched your pearls (to borrow a much overused DL phrase) and got all defensive, and defended your bigotry towards someone who is obese. I think it's a way to bully people. A lot of Gay men have been bullied, some rise above it, but others don't - hence all the DL hate for those who are not thin, blode, white, rich and well-endowed. You don't have to date overweight people, but you don't have to disrespect them the way you do here - it's awful what some people say. And I think a lot of gay men justify it by saying "Hey I was bullied for who I am, I have the right to do it to someone else!". And other minorities do it to gays and to each other, so no one is really exempt. But this is a thread for the LGBT community, so let's have a dialogue about OUR issues and stop justifying bullying others who are different just because it was done to us.

I hate blonds. They all look alike. Give me a nice Irish or red hot Jewboy any day. Yum.

I don't know if it's bullying so much as fat people play to the massive insecurity in so many gay men. There are so many tough rules in gay life, whether you live by them or not: young, hot, thin, stylish. Most gay men, with complex emotional lives because of the negativity around them, are influenced by it and never get to grow out of it. So it's still what you look like, not who you are and more, what the person you're with looks like and what that says about yourself. Fat people break the rules, so they frighten and repel.

And R50 keep in mind that this is an overwhelmingly progressive/liberal site. I'm glad that so many people ( via Google and other search engines) get to see what progressives ( particularly the gay ones) truly think about minorities ( including women) and others.

OP

R34 That is so true. It's even more so on the political threads.

R53, based on polls had on this site, about 45% of datalounge is closeted. And, the average age of this site is 39-49. So, to be that old and still in the closet is truly pathetic. Don't look to this site as being beacon of progessiveness or good mental health. Closeted gay men are not the greatest kind of people. They lack in all kinds of areas, being hateful is just one of their problems along with deceit.

Some of the openly gay ones are no prizes either.

It Seems Like Gay Men Hate Overweight People

No. Not any more than anyone else, fat people take up more than their allocated space and are disdained by everybody, not just gay men.

Everyone hates overweight people. Being fat tells the world "I Have No Self-Control."

If fat people didn't loathe themselves, they wouldn't look that way, and they wouldn't carry around so much excess weight that they're risking serious health consequences.

Fat people make them feel like a winner.

R60 Gays are also self-loathing.

Or they happen upon websites like these, which is unhealthy even for those who ARE considered attractive. Drug addicts and alcoholics don't have self control either, but as long as they are cute. Fit with big dicks Your typical DL queen will chortle " heth tho hot".

Everybody dislikes obese people. All those sweaty folds of skin. And fat women tend to have giant bosoms that swing to and fro when they walk, which is pretty gross. It's also gross to see someone red-in-the-face, grunting and sweating while doing something really ordinary, like walking in a hallway.

My mother is grossly obsess and is always complaining to her doctors about shortness of breath. She is always in complete wonderment, as in, "OMG, how has this happened? Why am I so out of breath? I can't vacuum my living room without sitting down!" and the doctors all wearily tell her the same thing, every single visit. You need to lose weight. Stop eating junk. No pies, no cakes, no candy, low salt. More vegetables, less bread and crackers and cookies.

She doesn't listen and goes back a few months later, complaining about this TERRIBLE breathlessness. "Isn't there SOMETHING you can do for me, doctor?"

No.

Or porn and sex addicts, R63.

Being gay is a form of narcissism, so looks are super important to gay men. Plus the community is small.

[quote]Being gay is a form of narcissism...

Fuck off you freeping cunt.

FF R66.

The problem is that in "gay" terms, obese means you're one belt size more than you'd like (I hesitate to say "should be").

There is so much homophobia on this website now. It is just as bad if not worse than any comments section anyplace on the Internet.

What happened to the FF option where it send trolls to the FF datalounge site?

Not nearly as much as they hate themselves.

Wow, my bad. I thought it would just be taken as bitchiness and there would be snarky responses. Everyone here is (or most people at least are) gay, so for that to be serious would be silly.

Won't happen again.

I spent most of my adult life in shape and decently attractive. A few years back, I had an accident and was housebound for a few months. The lack of exercise and a dependence on delivery food caused me to gain a substantial amount of weight.

When I was fully healed and able to interact with the public again, I hadn't lost the weight yet and I was shocked at the reaction I got. The nasty, dismissive way that strangers looked at me and treated me (even cashiers at CVS) was very enlightening.

As time went on, I got back into my normal routine and lost the weight I had gained. It was equally unsettled in the way that people were suddenly nice to me and began treating like a human being again.

So I agree with the other posters who say that's a not a gay specific prejudice. Most people, unfortunately, have a very nasty perception of overweight people. Which is a shame since the rate of obesity has gone up specifically.

I don't think gay men are any worse. It's just that they're more clever and verbal about it.

Many people are going to end up overweight.

Karma is a bitch.

Well, we hate Chevy Chase, so there's that...

Define "overweight"... There are tons of gay bears running around who enjoy fucking other bears.

R72 Gays here are too overdramatic like fraus.

Will agree with those who say it is not just a "gay" issue, but one of the general population. Many persons just have *issues* with those whom are anything from fat to vastly obese.

The feeling IMHO has only become more pronounced over the years since Americans have moved into almost two separate camps: those that workout/keep physically active and fit, and then those that do not. It does not help matters we now live in a 24/7 media world were even news readers and weathermen are buff.

Will give you that the feeling against fat persons may seem more pronounced in the gay community, but it would wouldn't it? Any demographic where the dominate focus is upon youth,physical beauty and sex, is bound to leave many more out than included.

You could remove fat and substitute a vast array of others from "femmes" to various races and age groups and still have the same results. Just look at Grindr and other social media sites or personal classifieds.

R77, I agree. If I want to call gay people faggots, I can. And, I do.

R78, you're right. It seems like every Grindr profile now is just a super judgmental list of certain types of people they won't respond to.

R78

When it comes down to personal classifieds of which IMHO Grindr is sort of, things have always been the same.

Back in the day when the Village Voice personal section was the thing you found in both straight and gay sections laundry list of qualifying and or disqualifying traits.

Said this before in the "racist" thread, but it often isn't that white/European gay men are up that street, just that they don't find darker men sexually attractive. Know several gay men who have black and Latino/Hispanic friends but their Grindr profile clearly states nothing but vanilla will do.

I remember the days of the personal ad. Half of the gay men claimed to have a "swimmers build" and also specified "no fems, no fats". They also were usually clear about their racial preferences.

This is when I realized I MUST get a gym membership and slim down. Sure, I got in shape and had a grand old time with lots of 'boy dates'. But now that I've passed my 20s and 30s (and almost 40s) I've been settled down with the same guy for many, many years. So I let myself go. And I couldn't give a damn about the opinions of other gay men at this stage of my life.

It does get better.

R82, I genuinely enjoy the feeling of being slightly too full. It makes everything more enjoyable. I also find fast food delicious. So between those two things, I am anxiously awaiting the day when I either be in a long term relationship (i.e. too comfortable to leave) or become enough of a social recluse that I no longer care (i.e. smash all mirrors and never leave the house).

Until then, I'll stay thin and unhappy.

R73 is absolutely right! I had the same experience. When I carried a lot of excess weight, it was like people looked right through me as if I wasn't there. Sales clerks always would address my thinner partner - almost never me. It's really sad how everyone ignores people who are heavy.

I'm not buying your story, R81. Where do you live that you know SEVERAL white gay men with Black and Latino friends? This "community" is racially segregated. I just find that hard to believe.

I love overweighties. I wouldn't fuck any of them but they are welcome to give me head.

[73] I experienced the same thing when I had to take prednisone for many months (due to an adult onset auto-immune disease). I am back to my normal weight/health again, but I developed severe social anxiety. In fact, I don't think I ever want to have anything to do with people ever again. I don't even consider myself to be gay anymore, as far as I'm concerned I'm an asexual now.

"Know several gay men who have black and Latino/Hispanic friends but their Grindr profile clearly states nothing but vanilla will do."

According to OKCupid (a predominantly straight dating site) most straight white women seek out white men, and straight white men seek out white women (in the US at least, racial preferences are different in other countries)

R85

NYC

These friends go to the same parties and so forth as Mike Woods. You can also find them at the Hamptons.

I have lots of fat friends, AND I am also friends with many fairies. I don't discriminate against ANYONE.

Gay men are cruel and bitchy to fat people certain minorities and women. The bigotry on DL is killing us all.

There's a lot of ignorance on this site. Most posters are over 60, bitter, angry, lonely, and collecting disability for psychological problems. I'm really starting to believe that many are also closeted because they don't seem to care about how they contribute to the belief that gay men are racist and misogynist. That kind of stuff is all over the internet. I've come across many people who think these things are true. Let's not even get into how fat people are treated. I believe that only a small percentage of gay men are actually kind. There are kind, good-hearted people on this site who battle with the nasty ones but they are outnumbered. It's the saddest thing.

I recently dined at a neighborhood Greek restaurant . What shocked me was the sheer number of enormous, obese couples coming in. HUGE ! Most were younger , 25-45 range so they were still relatively mobil...others in Im guessing in the 50-65 range were secured in wheelchairs. Watching them order huge quantities of french fries, bacon cheeseburgers, buckets of Sodas, cake and mountains of rice pudding literally made me sick. I have no pity for these giant land behemoths...nor do I want to be around them and their million and one lame excuses as to why they are obese. I do not hate them, but I certainly do not find anything about them attractive or admirable. The closest description as to how I feel about these adipocerous behemoths is... repulsion.

Take your fucking "racist" bullshit, R92, and fuck yourself in the ass with it. You really need to die.

[quote]Most posters are over 60, bitter, angry, lonely...

[quote]Take your fucking "racist" bullshit, [R92], and fuck yourself in the ass with it. You really need to die.

Checks out.

Exactly, R95. Someone would only react that defensively and angrily if it applies to them.

Why blame gays, specifically dataloungers, for hating overweight people. Everyone hates them.

People enjoy discriminating against others and it's becoming unacceptable to be racist or homophobic so they have to find someone else to hate. Of course some people stick with the classics.

I don't hate anybody. I was raised well.

R94 is sure a bitter old fruitcake.

How can I hate myself? I'm gay and overweight and I don't hate. I'm trying to lose weight, but it's very hard to do with assholes running around making fun of my fat online like you.

Fuck up and embrace your fat friend.

Fat people are ugly to look at. They ruin the view. They should be banned to their own island so we wouldn't have to look at them.

{ 101] "Fuck up and embrace your fat friend."

I tried to embrace him but my arms couldn't reach around him ! It was like trying to embrace a Buick.

Methinks R93 exaggerates a bit ... and doesn't know the difference between a "Greek restaurant" and a (Greek owned) diner.

{ 104 }=and doesn't know the difference between a "Greek restaurant" and a (Greek owned) diner.

That may be true but I do know the difference between a Prisspot and a persnickety pantywaist.

R105, I'm not the person who called you out on the Greek cheeseburgers, but that was a fucking lame comeback.

[quote]Half of the gay men claimed to have a "swimmers build"

Shamu is a swimmer.

I'm gay and love cubby men. Did anyone in this thread even mention the bear subculture?

I got a valentine, but it was from a girl.

How sad that there is so much hatred and discrimination towards the overweight in this site.

[quote] I have no pity for these giant land behemoths...nor do I want to be around them...

You might find it bizarre that none of these people are seeking your sympathy, or attention, or anything from you at all. If they knew about how rancid you are, I'm certain they would not care to be around you either.

I am suspicious of people especially gay people without at least one fat friend. I mean, do they require 100% validation by the reflection of those with whom they socialize? Must EVERY friend carry the burden of adding to your perceived attractiveness and value? How revolting a thought.

Not all gay men hate overweight people. I mean have you seen the film "The Ritz"?

"We used to have a guy like that back in the army. We called him "Get away from me Claude".

Seems like it

Well, you fatties should travel to Cairo or Delhi. I have always been chubby but in both places I was told to gain a few kilos to look better.

[quote] It Seems Like Gay Men Hate Overweight People

Breaking: OP discovers Water is Wet!

R102 is a rancid Nazi cuntzilla.

r113 hi 2015 (now 2014) bump troll!!

I wish I was as obese as them. A real bear.

All people hate fat people. Men, women, gay, str8, trans.

I wonder how many of the posters from 2014 are now dead 🤔🤔

Most gay men are superficial fruit flies.

I'm fat and I wouldn't want me either, get over it, fat is ugly and unhealthy.

Most people are hostile towards overweight people. I think it's a primitive thing to get angry at people who seem to be getting more than their fair share of food, even when there's plenty of food to go around.

Then say "ja!" to the Amazing Swedish Diet.

I don't "get" obesity. It's NOT THAT HARD to be thin. Christ, you *literally* don't even have to exercise, though it will get you results faster. All you have to do is 1) eat less (i.e., a "calorie deficit") and 2) eat healthfully. I wish there were a larger dating pool (pun unintended) where I live, but I'm in one of the heftiest states in the Union - Texas.

I just called the newborn of Princess Eugenia of England fat in another thread, which I now somewhat regret.

In truth, it’s just the tiny devil spawn’s bug eyed, overly titted mom that’s foul.

Don't know what you're talking about, OP. I'm beloved, and I absolutely look like my Twitter profile picture!

Gay cis men, do better!

R113/Defacto, you mentioned being fat on another thread, how big are you exactly? Can you hide it with baggy clothes, or do you need to buy two seats when you fly?

OP, everyone hates fast people. Don’t buy the PC marketing. No one likes fat.

Being fat is within everyone's control. There's really no excuse for being fat. So, stop stuffing your mouth and stop drinking sugary drinks, fatties!

I’m not r113, r129.

DL is making foolish assumptions about me as usual.

Enjoying food is better than being thin.

No, DeFecto @r113, we hate you because you're a MAGAt who bumps old threads.

Being overweight is an example of a lack of discipline and self-control, reasons enough for a swift dispatch from your life.

Being overweight can also be caused by medication, hormone treatments (witness my sister who gained 40 lbs when when she was taking hormone therapy despite eating like a bird and working out 5 times a week), a sudden change in lifestyle (WFH versus an active job for 8 hours a day "shocks" the system), and other endocrine issues (having a thyroid removed, etc.). As of now I went from being a fit guy to a 19 pound weight gain although I do laps around the local lake but it can't compare to my walk to and from work and certainly walking from bedroom to kitchen to bathroom is not like walking around a large company or out at lunch. Yeah, I am overdoing the booze, but my diet has been really healthy.

R136 if that's the case then more than half the country has all those problems. We're all fat because we eat fat too much and get no exercise. I eat junk and thus I am fat, everyone seems to eat low carb, low fat. Keto, WW etc and we fatter and fatter. Let's not forget all the gym that everybody SAYS they go to regularly, yet we still get fatter, people lie and say they go but they don't. Everyone needs to own up and just STOP eating so much fattening food and get out and exercise, but easier said than done, me included. Covid can't be an excuse, we were in this before covid.

My first relationship was with someone who was seriously overweight. It really seriously bothered me. He wasn't overweight when I met him, but he'd been a fat kid who'd recently went to work on himself and lost a lot of weight. He was moving to San Francisco after law school and in the 11 months that we lived in different places before I moved there as well he gained a significant amount of weight. The relationship ended after about 21 months over other issues, but like I said, the weight problem really bothered me.

My first relationship was with someone who was seriously overweight. It really seriously bothered me. He wasn't overweight when I met him, but he'd been a fat kid who'd recently went to work on himself and lost a lot of weight. He was moving to San Francisco after law school and in the 11 months that we lived in different places before I moved there as well he gained a significant amount of weight. The relationship ended after about 21 months over other issues, but like I said, the weight problem really bothered me.

^double posting was accidental

I knew of a handsome, slim gay guy in his twenties who began gaining weight when he met his boyfriend. You wouldn’t think much of it at first; the first 15 or so pounds filled him out, but he wasn’t fat.

Over the next few years, he kept gaining weight, and was pushing 300 in his early 30s. Neither he or his much thinner boyfriend seemed displeased with the new additions, and I eventually learned they were a gainer-encourager couple; the boyfriend wanted him to be fat and egged him on until he was huge.

I always thought that was interesting—a conventionally good looking young man with acting aspirations giving it all up to blow up like a balloon for some guy.

This thread is making me hungry.