Struggling To Make Other Gay Male Friends

I am not a drama queen but I have many times been in a situation where longtime platonic gay friends have developed romantic feelings for me. I am only moderately good-looking but I am a kind, thoughtful friend and have unknowingly enchanted men I considered brothers. Then they hate me when I don't reciprocate the feelings. It completely sucks.

I've got enough friends.

[quote]What does the datalounge say- Should we sympathize? Is he cute? or is he AS cute as he thinks he is?

I've had sufficient of these dumb questions and refuse to answer

None of my friends have ever wanted to fuck me. It’s never been an issue, thankfully.

I couldn’t stomach the video to the end but o find this ridiculous. I have many gay friends, some I don’t remotely find attractive. Our persecuted past and present makes us emphatic. If this creature can’t find some of an akin mind the problem is definitely on him.

R3- Has stated her boundaries!

I have sufficient

Deluded ridiculous man.

He's not cute and he is completely deluded.

Didn’t he make friends when he was in college, like a normal person? Or work? Frankly, by 30, your friends groups are pretty much set for life.

Seems like he’s a bore. 💤

He finds reasons to dismiss people: 'You're attracted to me?... We have a disagreement?... We don't share a plethora of interests?... That's it- we're done!'.

I find him prissy and martinet-ish. That gayvoice puts me to sleep in an ASMR manner.

And I get a weird virgin vibe from him. I wonder if he's saving himself for marriage?

He has button eyes. Creepy.

He must have ugly friends.

R13- He says in the video that he doesn't have ANY friends.

and why would his friends have to be ugly?

Kids. In my day you slept with a friend immediately to get that part out of the way, and then proceed like nothing happened.

As Judge Judy would tell him "WHO CARES???". Get off the pity pot, bitch. Maybe if you not present yourself as God's gift to gay men, you might do better. Not everyone wants to sleep with you. Maybe if you were a bit less full of yourself, you'd find some friends.

They’re whores now give more pearls to break

This is the type of insecure gay man who probably only surrounds himself with people he thinks are into him and then is surprised when they are. If he's the belle of the ball though, I can't imagine what his friends must look like.

Again, reading skills? He has no friends.

. . .

You all are too harsh. I think he is cute and adorable. He’s husband material.

Wes, you sound really juvenile. Get off the internet.Boring.

R21, a person who has no friends is a big red loud alarm sign.

I actually went to a wedding where the groom had no friends. The bride has invited around 80 people and the groom had is parents. No one else. Naturally it lasted a year.

Is he insane? Delusional? He’s a 2 at best.

[quote]Again, reading skills? He has no friends.

Reading skills? The only thing to read is the OP's description which has the word "befriend" in it. Which means me makes friends BUT it doesn't last, and that is what he is lamenting. So he does have friends temporarily, it's just that these friendships don't last because of their betrayal of wanting to fuck him.

Ok, you got me. It's listening skills that lack.

You're really confused to mix up those two very distinct skills. Maybe you should focus more on standing on two feet when it comes to your levels of comprehension before instructing others.

Good God things have changed. When I was his age I didn’t want to be your friend, I wanted to fuck you. If that worked out then I’d ask you your name and we’d see where it went.

But this nonce’s feelings of “betrayal” sound so ridiculous. If something with someone doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. They’re not into you or, as here, he’s not into them. The trouble is he’s not into anyone.

There’s a reason and it’s not other people.

It’s one thing to make friends, it’s another thing to keep friends.

I’ve never been the type to keep friends, but that’s not been an issue for me.

I thoroughly enjoy the freedom of living alone and would have difficulty living with someone.

Twice I've been in the place of his abandoned friends. I was very young and cute, and brought up the idea to a guy that maybe we could move from friendship to dating. The way they flipped out was hurtful, and made me think less of them. I let the friendship die.

There's a way of doing things...

R12- He has kinda Anime eyes.

What city is he in? I live in a city with 200,000 people and I’ve had tons of friends move away. Hell, almost everyone I’ve met has moved away. Therefore, it takes me a few years to make new friends.

In the essence of his point, I wouldn't say he's wrong, though I think he is wrong in not learning from the pattern he's experienced.

Evidently it's been on more than a few occasions that a presumed friend confessed that their friendship was grounded in unreciprocated sexual attraction for this guy. And after seeing this as a pattern the best he can do is say, "well, that was awkward and we never talked or saw each other again." Some combination of being more upfront about wanting more gay men as friends not fuckbuddies or boyfriends might be in order.

Also a better sense of humor would come in handy to defuse awkward situations if they do arise. I think most gay men I know have been in his situation and more than once, but they learn from the experience and get better at dealing with it each time. It's not really that different than two people who date but go their separate ways or change the nature of their relationship to carry on as just friends.

I suspect he both thinks he's being perfectly honest and (maybe it's those dead eyes) that he has not talent for sussing out "friends" who are friends only to advance to some bigger, romantic thing.

Since he seems to keep repeating the same mistake he should develop some better and tactful conversational skills to preclude landing once again in the same hot water. Also, make friends with older men. That's not 100% protection against the same thing happening again, but the chance is much less if you're frank upfront about wanting to have more gay men friends on your life.

When I was young I had tons of much older gay men friends, friendships built around common interests or sometimes just coincidence and ease of getting along. Those friendships lasted many years where my friendships with gay men my own age were very few until years later.

Yes, he's right, it's a bit of a gay thing, but learn to work against the tide.

Meanwhile r33 the older men were sniffing your underwear while you were in the shower. Maybe I’m just a slut. I didn’t sleep with many friends. But I didn’t have many friends I wouldn’t sleep with.

Has he considered the Friends of the Friendless?

Gay men cannot be real friends. Too much pathology and wanting to fuck anything that moves. My friends are all straight men. Way less drama. It’s like straight men trying to be friends with women. Just doesn’t work when there’s the possibility of sex. The same goes for gay men. Gay men are for fucking, not friendship. That would be heteronormative, after all.

Like other gay men, he should just cultivate friendships with women and lesbians.

Is this the cunt that has a miserable time at every gay bar, and just generally in life? Could it be him and his nonsense that are the real problem? Will he ever just unclench, get fucked, and shut the fuck up about all his stupid self-created dramas?

Time will tell.

I am distancing myself from a guy who always smells of rotten breath and rank cigarette smoke. Maybe he should check his hygiene.